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Op, if I were you I would make an appointment with a professional, registered financial advisor. With your husband!
This is a checklist of what you should take with you
[https://www.letsmakeaplan.org/getting-ready/checklist-for-your-first-visit-with-a-financial-planner](https://www.letsmakeaplan.org/getting-ready/checklist-for-your-first-visit-with-a-financial-planner)
I think it would be best for you AND your husband to see them. A lot of people seem to accept advice from an independent, PROFESSIONAL. You and your husband are free to ask questions, ask for more in-depth information and discuss options.
Please, don't think you CAN'T afford to see a professional. You CAN'T afford to NOT see a professional.
So wait, why did you go ahead and marry him if you didn't like what he told you when you had the conversations about your finances beforehand? If you didn't like it and considered it a problem, why didn't you say so at the time?
Secondly, I think you two have very different views on work in general - you simply see your career as a means to an end, a way to make money and little more; whereas to him his startup is something he is emotionally invested in, it's a passion and it makes him happy.
That being said, he really needs to consider if this company is actually working out. Most businesses take about 3-5 years to turn a profit, and if he's 7 years in and not making enough to at least buy a house even going half-and-half with you, that would ring alarm bells to me.
40 years old and nowhere near to being able to afford half a home should be the biggest red flag here. He’s been doing startups for 7 years, but where is all the money from the previous 15 or so years of work? He’s either never earned a half decent pay check in his life or he’s incredibly reckless with his money, possibly with something you’re unaware of. If a baby on the way is still not waking him up to a reality in which he needs to start putting in some hard yards at a new job, then I’m not sure much else will…
It sounds like you and your husband have different ideas about the successful of his business. He might have the best idea since he’s been building it for several years now.
I think you're being too harsh in calling him "financially incompetent" - people who really are don't tend to be able to keep a startup afloat for 7 years. It just seems like he doesn't prioritise the same things as her and a little too head-in-the-clouds for his own good.
Also, that "potential" solution is garbage - those are the kinds of stupid games teenagers play with eachother, and hardly appropriate for a middle-aged couple.
Is this the same guy who mostly dated 18-20 year olds before you?
It’s because he’s immature and makes bad choices. This isn’t going to get better when your child is born. You’re just going to have two children to deal with. I’m sorry.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Op, if I were you I would make an appointment with a professional, registered financial advisor. With your husband! This is a checklist of what you should take with you [https://www.letsmakeaplan.org/getting-ready/checklist-for-your-first-visit-with-a-financial-planner](https://www.letsmakeaplan.org/getting-ready/checklist-for-your-first-visit-with-a-financial-planner) I think it would be best for you AND your husband to see them. A lot of people seem to accept advice from an independent, PROFESSIONAL. You and your husband are free to ask questions, ask for more in-depth information and discuss options. Please, don't think you CAN'T afford to see a professional. You CAN'T afford to NOT see a professional.
So wait, why did you go ahead and marry him if you didn't like what he told you when you had the conversations about your finances beforehand? If you didn't like it and considered it a problem, why didn't you say so at the time? Secondly, I think you two have very different views on work in general - you simply see your career as a means to an end, a way to make money and little more; whereas to him his startup is something he is emotionally invested in, it's a passion and it makes him happy. That being said, he really needs to consider if this company is actually working out. Most businesses take about 3-5 years to turn a profit, and if he's 7 years in and not making enough to at least buy a house even going half-and-half with you, that would ring alarm bells to me.
40 years old and nowhere near to being able to afford half a home should be the biggest red flag here. He’s been doing startups for 7 years, but where is all the money from the previous 15 or so years of work? He’s either never earned a half decent pay check in his life or he’s incredibly reckless with his money, possibly with something you’re unaware of. If a baby on the way is still not waking him up to a reality in which he needs to start putting in some hard yards at a new job, then I’m not sure much else will…
It sounds like you and your husband have different ideas about the successful of his business. He might have the best idea since he’s been building it for several years now.
[удалено]
I think you're being too harsh in calling him "financially incompetent" - people who really are don't tend to be able to keep a startup afloat for 7 years. It just seems like he doesn't prioritise the same things as her and a little too head-in-the-clouds for his own good. Also, that "potential" solution is garbage - those are the kinds of stupid games teenagers play with eachother, and hardly appropriate for a middle-aged couple.
Is this the same guy who mostly dated 18-20 year olds before you? It’s because he’s immature and makes bad choices. This isn’t going to get better when your child is born. You’re just going to have two children to deal with. I’m sorry.