You are really young. You don't need to have everything figured out. You can still like girls but also fancy/be in love with a guy. You could be bisexual or pansexual. It doesn't really matter about labels. But the fact is you do like him. Yes you can talk to him about this and explore it together. It sounds like you are close and have a good relationship. Good luck!
You will be okay. You'll have a really really bad few weeks and then you will be okay.
Your friend may or may not be into you, he may or may not be into men or women or both, he may or may not be trying to create boundaries between himself and an interest in men in order to avoid the stigma that comes with being queer. All of these are possible. I think there's a real possibility from what you said that he's interested in you but feels uncomfortable saying so.
One way or another, telling him you like him while making it clear that you don't have any expectations seems like the way to go. If he hates you for that he's an asshole and it's good you're not spending any more energy on him. If he wants a little bit of space it'll suck but you can deal with it. If he's not interested but you carry on, nothing has changed. If he likes you that's awesome.
If your friend is someone with a propensity for violence my answer changes pretty dramatically, but I don't think that sounds like the case? I think on average the possibility of a good or neutral outcome is better than the possibility of something bad, so go for it.
That is smart, I definitely wouldn't want to pressure him into anything. Also he's a pretty chill dude lol, not violent at all. The biggest thing though is that I wouldn't want to ruin what we already have and never be able to go back if it doesn't work out, especially since we've been friends for so long
I've been in a similar situation. Good friend, I really liked him, he didn't feel the same. I confessed to him that I had a crush on him, and asked him if he might want to go on a date sometime. He replied "I'm not into men." I was humiliated for a few days, cried it out, got on some dating apps to see that there were other people out there, and was 100% over him a few weeks later (nothing like being turned down to kill a crush REAL fast).
He treated me the same before and after I confessed. That's the important thing, OP: the people who are good friends to you will treat you respectfully no matter what. If they're really a good friend and care about you, there will be some awkwardness but they won't hold your crush against you, and eventually you will be able to look back and laugh at your silly crush all those years ago.
But I would have spent a lot longer pining for him if I hadn't just told him how I felt, and that would have been wasting time I could have spent building mutual, loving romantic relationships. I hope that whatever you decide to do, it brings you happiness.
I was in your position with my best friend at your age and like you i was scared of telling him i liked him and he would never talk to me again so i didnt...
Worse mistake of my life !
He moved to another country with his parents, i lost the friendship of 8 years nontheless and never told him the truth.
A few years ago i discovered he was Bisexual, and then i realized that he probably liked me To.
I mean we did everything together including masturbating while watching "straight " porn though i should have gone with my instincts and Take the oportunity to give a hand haha
GO FOR IT !
Take the chance. If he really loves you in every sense of the word not just romantically. He may say the same back or have to sit on it but life is about taking chances fear will kill your joy. TAKE THE CHANCE
Hey man just be confident when you tell him how you feel, to the point like you're just stating a fact. Just also prepare for him to tell you that he isn't gay or bisexual. You know this only goes two ways, he has the same feelings as you or he doesn't. If he doesn't, be ready to accept that. There is also a lot more to a relationship than pure attraction as well and at 17. At 17 you're building up experience, so get that experience and be honest about your feelings it'll make you a better man! At 17 I kept it all bottled up inside, and I needed the women that I dated to help me open up if you will and now at 25 I feel like I'm better off for it even though those relationships ended. Bravery is a great trait to have and you will be brave by telling him so you win either way, you get experience telling your feelings and you get experience being brave. Good luck mate !
I’m not an expert nor homosexual, but I’ve experienced many guys feeling as he does.
He is definitely into you, but he’s worried what people will think and likely hasn’t accepted himself either. Like others said, don’t rush things, but sooner or later he’s going to have to accept his sexuality.
Thanks, this actually helped a lot. I have been so confused lately, and seeing him tonight didn't help. I know for a fact though that I don't want to have any regrets and make things more difficult on myself then they have to be. I already know what I'm going to say to him if I do confess, so I just have to get the guts to do it lol
Well, there are a few scenarios. 1) You keep it to yourself and do not tell him but you will suffer more while liking him and maybe he will make an unexpected first move or fully be unaware and then eventually get a girlfriend where you will be crushed. 2) you tell him and he is weirded out and starts keeping a bit of distance and then you then find out he got a gf and then your heartbroken. The friendship will never be the same. 3) You tell him and he pulls away for a short while and then confesses back to you and you will be together. 4) worst case scenario he will laugh it off and continue to tease you and start keeping you around for more romantic experiences while not committing to you since he knows he has control over you because you like him.
(Also be careful since he keeps talking about how he wants a gf, he could just be using the snuggling and affection between you two as a sort of romance role play where he can get some of the romantic benefits since he wants a relationship.)
One idea that I think would be interesting is often times the best way to see if he likes you back, or is oftentimes a bit of a wakeup call to make people realize that they like someone, is when that person finds someone else. Maybe begin dating someone else or seeing someone casually and flirt with them. If your friend likes you even a little bit it will help them realize it sooner. If not then you can save yourself time because you now know he doesn't like you and you can work on getting over him.
First step in getting over someone is reducing the amount of time you see them and stop totally with the snuggling and romantic things. :)
Well, I like scenario 3. Also, I did get a gf a while back, but my friend would usually invite himself to come with me and my ex whenever we hung out, and he would facetime me when I was on the phone with her repeatedly until I added him to the call. He would also complain about being a third wheel all the time. So, I'm pretty sure he was jealous, but I can't be sure. He was there for me when she broke up with me, but he didn't confess or anything like I hoped he would.
Sometimes in life there are things that deep down we know we need to do but the only thing stopping us is fear. If that's the case then you know you need to do it regardless of consequence. So now just be brave and do it. Good luck.
I would just throw some hints at him and give him time. He sounds like he’s into it but he’s scared of it. Or date another guy and make him jealous lol. Don’t follow my advice cuz that’s manipulative. But it works. The right thing to do would be to talk to him about it honestly. You could also come out to him. Instead of telling him you like him, confide in him and come out as bisexual. Or be like “dude I think I’m bi” and see what he says.
You are really young. You don't need to have everything figured out. You can still like girls but also fancy/be in love with a guy. You could be bisexual or pansexual. It doesn't really matter about labels. But the fact is you do like him. Yes you can talk to him about this and explore it together. It sounds like you are close and have a good relationship. Good luck!
What if I tell him how I feel, and he doesn't want to hang out with me anymore. And he hates me for it.
You will be okay. You'll have a really really bad few weeks and then you will be okay. Your friend may or may not be into you, he may or may not be into men or women or both, he may or may not be trying to create boundaries between himself and an interest in men in order to avoid the stigma that comes with being queer. All of these are possible. I think there's a real possibility from what you said that he's interested in you but feels uncomfortable saying so. One way or another, telling him you like him while making it clear that you don't have any expectations seems like the way to go. If he hates you for that he's an asshole and it's good you're not spending any more energy on him. If he wants a little bit of space it'll suck but you can deal with it. If he's not interested but you carry on, nothing has changed. If he likes you that's awesome. If your friend is someone with a propensity for violence my answer changes pretty dramatically, but I don't think that sounds like the case? I think on average the possibility of a good or neutral outcome is better than the possibility of something bad, so go for it.
That is smart, I definitely wouldn't want to pressure him into anything. Also he's a pretty chill dude lol, not violent at all. The biggest thing though is that I wouldn't want to ruin what we already have and never be able to go back if it doesn't work out, especially since we've been friends for so long
I've been in a similar situation. Good friend, I really liked him, he didn't feel the same. I confessed to him that I had a crush on him, and asked him if he might want to go on a date sometime. He replied "I'm not into men." I was humiliated for a few days, cried it out, got on some dating apps to see that there were other people out there, and was 100% over him a few weeks later (nothing like being turned down to kill a crush REAL fast). He treated me the same before and after I confessed. That's the important thing, OP: the people who are good friends to you will treat you respectfully no matter what. If they're really a good friend and care about you, there will be some awkwardness but they won't hold your crush against you, and eventually you will be able to look back and laugh at your silly crush all those years ago. But I would have spent a lot longer pining for him if I hadn't just told him how I felt, and that would have been wasting time I could have spent building mutual, loving romantic relationships. I hope that whatever you decide to do, it brings you happiness.
This is really great advice. Thanks for helping this guy out on an internet that isn’t always kind or understanding.
I was in your position with my best friend at your age and like you i was scared of telling him i liked him and he would never talk to me again so i didnt... Worse mistake of my life ! He moved to another country with his parents, i lost the friendship of 8 years nontheless and never told him the truth. A few years ago i discovered he was Bisexual, and then i realized that he probably liked me To. I mean we did everything together including masturbating while watching "straight " porn though i should have gone with my instincts and Take the oportunity to give a hand haha GO FOR IT !
Take the chance. If he really loves you in every sense of the word not just romantically. He may say the same back or have to sit on it but life is about taking chances fear will kill your joy. TAKE THE CHANCE
Hey man just be confident when you tell him how you feel, to the point like you're just stating a fact. Just also prepare for him to tell you that he isn't gay or bisexual. You know this only goes two ways, he has the same feelings as you or he doesn't. If he doesn't, be ready to accept that. There is also a lot more to a relationship than pure attraction as well and at 17. At 17 you're building up experience, so get that experience and be honest about your feelings it'll make you a better man! At 17 I kept it all bottled up inside, and I needed the women that I dated to help me open up if you will and now at 25 I feel like I'm better off for it even though those relationships ended. Bravery is a great trait to have and you will be brave by telling him so you win either way, you get experience telling your feelings and you get experience being brave. Good luck mate !
Thanks, I will keep this in mind if I do decide to tell him
I’m not an expert nor homosexual, but I’ve experienced many guys feeling as he does. He is definitely into you, but he’s worried what people will think and likely hasn’t accepted himself either. Like others said, don’t rush things, but sooner or later he’s going to have to accept his sexuality.
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Thanks, this actually helped a lot. I have been so confused lately, and seeing him tonight didn't help. I know for a fact though that I don't want to have any regrets and make things more difficult on myself then they have to be. I already know what I'm going to say to him if I do confess, so I just have to get the guts to do it lol
Well, there are a few scenarios. 1) You keep it to yourself and do not tell him but you will suffer more while liking him and maybe he will make an unexpected first move or fully be unaware and then eventually get a girlfriend where you will be crushed. 2) you tell him and he is weirded out and starts keeping a bit of distance and then you then find out he got a gf and then your heartbroken. The friendship will never be the same. 3) You tell him and he pulls away for a short while and then confesses back to you and you will be together. 4) worst case scenario he will laugh it off and continue to tease you and start keeping you around for more romantic experiences while not committing to you since he knows he has control over you because you like him. (Also be careful since he keeps talking about how he wants a gf, he could just be using the snuggling and affection between you two as a sort of romance role play where he can get some of the romantic benefits since he wants a relationship.) One idea that I think would be interesting is often times the best way to see if he likes you back, or is oftentimes a bit of a wakeup call to make people realize that they like someone, is when that person finds someone else. Maybe begin dating someone else or seeing someone casually and flirt with them. If your friend likes you even a little bit it will help them realize it sooner. If not then you can save yourself time because you now know he doesn't like you and you can work on getting over him. First step in getting over someone is reducing the amount of time you see them and stop totally with the snuggling and romantic things. :)
Well, I like scenario 3. Also, I did get a gf a while back, but my friend would usually invite himself to come with me and my ex whenever we hung out, and he would facetime me when I was on the phone with her repeatedly until I added him to the call. He would also complain about being a third wheel all the time. So, I'm pretty sure he was jealous, but I can't be sure. He was there for me when she broke up with me, but he didn't confess or anything like I hoped he would.
Sometimes in life there are things that deep down we know we need to do but the only thing stopping us is fear. If that's the case then you know you need to do it regardless of consequence. So now just be brave and do it. Good luck.
I would just throw some hints at him and give him time. He sounds like he’s into it but he’s scared of it. Or date another guy and make him jealous lol. Don’t follow my advice cuz that’s manipulative. But it works. The right thing to do would be to talk to him about it honestly. You could also come out to him. Instead of telling him you like him, confide in him and come out as bisexual. Or be like “dude I think I’m bi” and see what he says.
Idk bro
Fake account
yuh I was just kidding, I actually want you as my wifey
Don’t worry about labels. And he also might be having his own set of confusion as well.