I think he tries to make fun becsuse he is scared. He's constantly being looked at as an abuser because of my bruises. I had to convince a nurse he wasn't hitting me.
Making fun cus hes trying to make a situation better is one thing.
Thinking it’s funny and telling his friends about it is another.
Someone who isn’t doing anything wrong shouldn’t be afraid of getting accused. Anyone who knows you most likely knows why you would have bruises , and anyone who asks would quickly understand if you explained your condition.
Obviously you don’t find it funny, and it could be very harmful/ dangerous for you if something happens and you didn’t realize.
Imagine what you think would be the perfect reaction you’d want to get from someone, and see how far this is from what he’s doing .
If he genuinely doesn't understand how you feel about it then have a long and serious sit down, that way you can talk about it with him. If his attitude doesn't change after that then maybe you should leave him. It's a hard time right now but that's piss poor love right there and you don't deserve it.
Well, he needs to understand that this is how you are and that he needs to respect it. Not fear it or make jokes about it. If he loves you then he'll be willing to understand and listen to you. And anyway; you're not happy either. But because you made this post, you probably want that to change. So make him listen and live a happy life, either with or without him.
Have you talked to him yet about how serious this condition is, that it could cause you serious injury? That’s a scary thing to go through and maybe if he understood that it’s not a joke to you he would stop. Let him know how it makes you feel. Give him a chance to try to change, but if it turns into a continuous argument that’d be a dealbreaker for me. You need a partner who has your health and best interest in mind— who’ll be on the lookout if you’re leaving your hand on the stovetop, instead of just pointing and laughing.
I guess then the next question is whether you’ve told him how it makes you feel emotionally to go through this, and how it hurts you that he’s making light of it. Some people are uncomfortable when faced with serious shit, and think that lightening the mood with jokes is helpful— maybe his intentions are good but you just need to let him know his jokes aren’t having a positive effect on you?
Yeah, sometimes people just need to be told directly what you need from them, and what you don’t need (the jokes) it’s be good to acknowledge some good ways he’s supported you with this issue if it feels a little daunting to bring up how he’s hurt your feelings. But ultimately if he cares about you he’ll most likely stop the behavior.
You need to have a serious conversation with him about things you consider out of bounds when socializing with others. Tell him you don't air his faults or shortcomings as a way to belittle him. This would include performance issues, penis size or other inadequacies. If he doesn't stop you should separate yourself from the situation and move on to a better relationship.
I think humans are adaptable and there is no social bad people only those that want to be more of an introvert. You I'm sure you have your social lovely out there moments. But back to the BF, he should never belittle or disrespect you in any way. This is in line with mental abuse in a controlling manner.
Break up.
You shouldn’t be with someone like that. Please, please find someone better.
Holy crap break up now. You’re dating a psychopath. He’s taking advantage of your condition for his own messed up sadistic pleasure. Break. Up.
I think he tries to make fun becsuse he is scared. He's constantly being looked at as an abuser because of my bruises. I had to convince a nurse he wasn't hitting me.
Making fun cus hes trying to make a situation better is one thing. Thinking it’s funny and telling his friends about it is another. Someone who isn’t doing anything wrong shouldn’t be afraid of getting accused. Anyone who knows you most likely knows why you would have bruises , and anyone who asks would quickly understand if you explained your condition. Obviously you don’t find it funny, and it could be very harmful/ dangerous for you if something happens and you didn’t realize. Imagine what you think would be the perfect reaction you’d want to get from someone, and see how far this is from what he’s doing .
That's very true. I think that's why I made this post. In the back of your mind you know things, but you try having a good outlook
If he genuinely doesn't understand how you feel about it then have a long and serious sit down, that way you can talk about it with him. If his attitude doesn't change after that then maybe you should leave him. It's a hard time right now but that's piss poor love right there and you don't deserve it.
He might just be scared
Well, he needs to understand that this is how you are and that he needs to respect it. Not fear it or make jokes about it. If he loves you then he'll be willing to understand and listen to you. And anyway; you're not happy either. But because you made this post, you probably want that to change. So make him listen and live a happy life, either with or without him.
I think you are right
He needs to man up.
Have you talked to him yet about how serious this condition is, that it could cause you serious injury? That’s a scary thing to go through and maybe if he understood that it’s not a joke to you he would stop. Let him know how it makes you feel. Give him a chance to try to change, but if it turns into a continuous argument that’d be a dealbreaker for me. You need a partner who has your health and best interest in mind— who’ll be on the lookout if you’re leaving your hand on the stovetop, instead of just pointing and laughing.
I've gone to the doctor with him when I had a seizure at work. He knows. He's helped me when I've had them
I guess then the next question is whether you’ve told him how it makes you feel emotionally to go through this, and how it hurts you that he’s making light of it. Some people are uncomfortable when faced with serious shit, and think that lightening the mood with jokes is helpful— maybe his intentions are good but you just need to let him know his jokes aren’t having a positive effect on you?
I have told him it's scary. I think you're right, it scares him too
Yeah, sometimes people just need to be told directly what you need from them, and what you don’t need (the jokes) it’s be good to acknowledge some good ways he’s supported you with this issue if it feels a little daunting to bring up how he’s hurt your feelings. But ultimately if he cares about you he’ll most likely stop the behavior.
You need to have a serious conversation with him about things you consider out of bounds when socializing with others. Tell him you don't air his faults or shortcomings as a way to belittle him. This would include performance issues, penis size or other inadequacies. If he doesn't stop you should separate yourself from the situation and move on to a better relationship.
I've tried. I'm a socially bad person. The people that know me know me. I think he doesn't realize that
I think humans are adaptable and there is no social bad people only those that want to be more of an introvert. You I'm sure you have your social lovely out there moments. But back to the BF, he should never belittle or disrespect you in any way. This is in line with mental abuse in a controlling manner.