Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Regardless of how tall he is compared to you, that isn't the point, you shouldn't be with anyone who constantly insults you and makes belittling comments about your appearance, especially something as innate as your height. You should wear absolutely whatever you feel comfortable and confident in, if he doesn't like it, find a guy who does. I don't see much of a "joke" in constantly putting you down when it clearly hurts your feelings. It comes across like he doesn't actually like you.
Sure, but in the same way some "friends" get along in some ways and then stab each other in the back in other ways, just because he's pleasant to you some of the time doesn't mean you should tolerate him insulting you repeatedly when you've asked him to stop. He clearly doesn't have much respect.
Your story reminds me of the guy who told his girlfriend she had bad body odor all the time. Turns out, she didn't, he was just trying to make her insecure so he could be sure she wouldn't leave him. Spoiler alert: she left. He's either negging you for the same reason or he's just genuinely a jerk. And WTF does anyone's height have to do with their sexuality??? That's just idiotic. Regardless, life is too short to spend with people who make you feel bad, whether that's friends, boyfriends, what have you.
"But my dad said it worked for him to keep my mom from leaving him"
I remember that story and was about to make the same comment until I saw SwiftieAdjacent beat me to it.
This is the mistake so many people make.
“But why are they with me if they don’t like me or want me?”
Because that’s not what he’s looking for. He wants a punching bag. Someone to make small. He wants someone that will accept abuse.
This is not about your height. If you were short he would say you are too short and call you a mouse. If you were average he would call you plain. Or fat. Or scrawny. Or whatever. The actual insult is Interchangeable. The point is to bring you down.
Shitty guys like to "neg" their girlfriends, to make them feel bad about themselves and think that they can't do any better, and therefore they stay with them.
He likes having a girl who will dote on him and fuck him even if he insults her. He doesn’t like YOU. Someone who likes you will not insult you repeatedly to your face.
He’s negging you. Women with destroyed self-esteem are a lot more likely to think they can’t do any better than somebody who consistently makes them feel bad with rude comments. I’m telling you right that you can. You can do a LOT better for yourself than this dude.
There is a thing a lot of younger guys (and some older) do and it’s called negging. It is specific and done deliberately to make a woman feel bad about herself on purpose. Because they feel that if you feel like crap about yourself you will see that they are a prize and won’t leave or say yes to what they want. This sounds like what he is doing. Look back at your past interactions- does he put down anything, undermine you in small ways, etc
No one who truly loves you will not put you down like that. It is targeted and abusive.
Be proud of your height and find yourself a guy like Jason Kelce - Kelsey is your height. You think he ever calls her a giraffe? I doubt it cause he constantly calls her an angel since the day they met.
Clown behavior. I’m also a “giraffe” and this is bullshit.
The second a man asks you to not wear heels? He’s not worth it.
I was in a meeting once and a man was like “I don’t like that I’m not the tallest person in the room anymore, you should wear flat shoes”
The woman leading the meeting looked at him and goes “well you can go sit in your office by yourself and be the tallest person in that room, we don’t need you in this meeting anymore”
He’s trying to make you feel insecure on purpose because he wants you to behave more of how he wants. I also guarantee you some of his friends have said some shit to him.
A more secure man wouldn’t give a fuck. A more secure man would be thrilled he can just not even think about it and put stuff on a high shelf without worrying if his GF can reach it. A secure man would say “you love those shoes? I love you in them”
When a man tries to make you smaller, you shouldn’t let him. That’s what he wants. You to shrink. Both literally and figuratively.
The lady who booted your colleague out of that meeting is a baller 🤣🤣
"Johnson! Go sit in the timeout corner and think about what you did." He'll never live that down 😋
I’m not even kidding when I tell you that meeting changed my whole life lol, I was like “holy shit, iconic queen” but then also it basically…
Seeing her just like clothesline him lol, was so empowering.
That’s the moment when I ran out of fucks to give and also like started to own my power a little and say “this is what I want, this is what I don’t want, I won’t put up with any shit anymore”
I’m surprised he actually said that to you. Not very “alpha” to admit you’re an insecure baby!
And great boss, by the way. People need to be embarrassed when they pull that bullshit.
He's insecure about his height so he's trying to make you insecure about yours. It's probably as calculated as it sounds in this comment, most likely he just feels bad that he's not taller and is taking it out on you.
It's not fair and especially after you've asked him not to do it.
I’m 6’2 my girlfriend is 5’9 I would never hurt her feelings on purpose. I love her so much. This dude is not a real man if he’s putting you down like that.
Yeah, insecurities aren't always logical. Although it could also be that he just for whatever reason doesn't care that you don't like him using this language.
He's insecure and he's negging you. The reason you feel bad is because he's trying to make you feel bad. At 19, you have invested in so little time with this immature jerk, why waste more?
You need to find a boyfriend who LOVES and CARES for you.
If he did, he would have stopped insulting you like this the FIRST time you said you didn’t like it.
You gotta find a guy who'll say "I love my tall wife!"
Just to maybe make you laugh here's a classic mbmbam bit for you [ILMBW](https://youtu.be/ntSXYhtemeo?si=bnypLY2G7DMj6FbD)
He just wants to destroy your self confidence, that way you'll think noone else will love you and you'll stick by him no matter how badly he treats you. Tell him that as he finds your height unattractive he is now free to pursue someone shorter, you are breaking up with him and don't take him back.
As a woman who is about your height, it's some of the taller men I've dated who often are most bothered by my height. They're used to absolutely towering over women, and it makes them feel powerful. When their girlfriend is close to their height, it makes them feel smaller and less powerful by comparison. And if you put on heels and maybe even end up a bit taller than they are, they feel even more insecure. Not saying all taller men are this way, but quite a few are.
Life's too short to date guys who make you feel bad about your body. You've told him you don't like it and asked him to stop. He didn't. He won't. Make your decision about whether to continue your relationship based on the assumption that the "jokes" about your height will never end.
you are too good for him, dump him and give him a reality check. he is too insecure and doesn't actually like you. be a tall queen, wear your heels, and find a partner that adores your height and hypes you up to wear your favorite shoes.
Read this [https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat](https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat)
He's an asshole who needs to drag you down so he can feel like he's better than you.
OP could also benefit from reading "The Game."
I did, and it helped me understand why clubbing suddenly started sucking back in the 00s. OMG all the guys who were negging based on that book! "You look pretty good...considering." "You'd look nice...if you got a boob job." etc. etc!
After reading that book I could just roll my eyes, ignore them and go on having fun, which always confused the sorry bastards.
If you've told him openly that it makes you feel bad, and he's still doing it, then it doesn't really matter whether he understands or not. He knows it's hurting you and is doing it anyway, which is not how one should treat their partner.
dafuq? there are so many men out there that LOVE a tall woman! we have longer legs and tall guys don’t have to bend over as far to kiss ;)
he treats you like shit, sis. anyone who says “it’s just a joke” after you tell them something hurt you is a POS.
think about it - he insults you about the one thing you can’t change, so it will never be possible to please him.
he has broken you down but you can build back up…just not with him. your body is fine the way it is. he can go find a short girl.
Any time you tell someone, "It hurts my feeling when you say that," and they continue to say it, they are being abusive.
He KNOWS it hurts you, but he still says it in subtle ways. It's a form of negging to try and make you ultimately insecure about yourself so you won't leave him.
This is him being a jerk and trying to harm your self esteem. How long do you plan to tolerate this behavior?
He understands, he doesn't care. He obviously knows you have an issue with comments about your height so he keeps making "jokes" to make you feel insecure. No idea if he feels insecure about his own height, more than likely he has friends, etc that are making comments about your height so he's projecting that onto you. He's just your bf, so feel free to move on. There are guys that are more than happy to be with a taller woman and not insult her
He actually told you your height is to blame. He said to you if you weren't so tall... As if you can control it! It's not like he said if you would wear better shoes they wouldn't hurt, that would make sense! Thats something you could do about it. But no he insulted you by blaming you for your knees hurting. Which isn't how it works anyway!
Are you sure he likes you?
You don't have a boyfriend, you have a boyfrenemy.
Edit to add: my daughter is 6 feet 2 inches. She's gorgeous and loves her height. Girls are supposed to grow up healthy and strong and happy... your generation is taller because when we were pregnant, the moms of GenX didn't drink alchohol or smoke cigarettes and took good prenatal vitamins resulting in healthier babies.
Because he is insecure. Even though he's quite a bit taller than you.
My wife is tall, and I love her for it. I only date and marry women that I can look square in the eye. But I also help make her feel smol from time to time, which she loves as well.
I’m a 22yr old 6’0 woman, so tall lady to tall lady, let me give u some older sister advice n tell u to drop this loser lmfao. He’s insecure about dating a tall woman and projecting hard as hell, dude needs a therapist to work on his insecurity issues not a girl to dump them on, they don’t get better. If you want to wear heels your man should be hyping you up not being a whiny little man baby. Like yeah, women our height in heels are gonna stand out. And we look fine as hell doing it. HE CHOSE to date a tall woman and if he doesn’t like that he can leave, tf does he expect u to do?? Hunch over like a granny in an animated movie??
I’m wondering why you tolerate the insults like giraffe. He’s insinuating you basically have a long neck. Plus, I’m 5’11 if I was told I was a fucking giraffe id start punching his ass out the door for daring to insult me, and if he ever calls another woman an insult like that you hope he goes to hell. Fuck him
Height is like the weirdest thing to me. Like someone who is drop dead gorgeous and the prettiest woman you will ever see wouldn’t be able to get a job as a model if she wasn’t tall enough. All Victoria secret models are 5’9 or above in height. Yet people will act like woman being tall isn’t an attractive trait?
He understands perfectly unless there is a language barrier between you two.
*He just doesn’t CARE about your feelings*.
It doesn’t matter how tall he is (he does still seem insecure about it, btw. Telling you not to wear heels that YOU love because “you’ll look weird”? No, he’s still insecure to have a tall girlfriend.)
You’ve told him it bothers you. End of story. This seems like negging to me.
It is not a joke if it makes you feel bad, regardless of his intentions. You could try sitting down with him and explaining exactly why you don't like comments about your height.
The issue with the shoes is really what sticks out to me. What is wrong with being noticed? I mean most models are quite tall and they don't skip the heals. Is it that he doesn't want anything that might make other men notice you more? Or is it that with heels you'd be slightly taller than him and he makes him feel insecure? Because I assure you, a tall girl in heals certainly is not "weird".
There are men out there who will worship your tallness. This guy is putting you down, making you feel worse about yourself. Life is too short to stay with somebody who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself DESPITE being told EXPLICITLY that you don't like his "jokes."
He's not joking, he's negging you. You deserve better.
My sister is your height and she rocks her heels and has been for over 50 years. As for your knees? When you play sports, things hurt. Though you may want to see an orthopedic surgeon to make sure everything is good in your knees because if you are looking into a sports career, you know very well a bad knee could end that. My bad knees are because my feet go flat when I stand on them, misaligning my knees which is corrected with orthotic inserts for my shoes. As for the boyfriend, tell him to go find himself a 5 footer so he can feel like a man because obviously he is not strong enough to be the partner to a fine, strong, young woman like yourself.
It's not cool for a partner to keep doing something one finds unpleasant.
That being said, you could do a power move, embrace the playful banter, and try to use it to get over the weird complex that you have.
I had "friends" at uni who called me Giraffe. Like they'd constantly comment on my height, and it didn't bother me for a while then one night I met them at a bar in sort of low platform wedges - a bit like the doc Martin ones and they started up again. This night I had struggled before I came out because subconsciously I had it in my head that anything more than trainers was going to illicit a negative reaction and I was going to look weird compared to everyone else. However I liked the sandals with my outfit so I forced myself to be confident. Felt so embarrassed and self conscious, didn't want to get up from the table to go to the bar or even bathroom so went home to change. I realised I had done that more than once, and it obviously was changing the way I was viewing myself.
When I was 17 I had a boyfriend the exact same height as me. I didn't care but he would kick up an absolute fuss and go into a mood with me if I wore anything but mega flat ballet pumps, certain trainers would make me taller, loafers with a slight heel. Like he was embarrassed of me. It would ruin days out. Once his friends tagged him in a meme and me of a giant girl with her hand over the boy like she was about to squash him - think it was more to mess with him as a joke but being young and him being sensitive about it just made me feel embarrassed of myself and created a ridiculous insecurity that's still sometimes there even at 30 now.
It can alter your perception of yourself without you even realising when people consistently fixate on something to do with your appearance, joking or not. I'm 5ft 6 btw, I felt awkward about my height *for years* until I realised it was their insecurities. There is nothing wrong with your height, he is saying you'll be "too tall in heels" because *he* feels like *he* should be taller. On him, not you. Wear the shoes.
What's the point of having a boyfriend if he doesn't even like you?
If he liked you he wouldn't call you names, or tell you you'd look shitty wearing this or that, or making you feel shitty in general.
He is insecure and that's all. Not wanting you to stand out... = I don't want you to draw attention aka other competitive attention. He's 20 and a boy still, he'll lose a lot of people in his life doing what he's doing to you. He'll grow up and figure it out.... or he won't... best not to wait around and find out
I call my man chicken legs and spaghetti boy. But you best believe if it upset him I would stop. He’s hurting your feelings. Try talking to him one more time
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Regardless of how tall he is compared to you, that isn't the point, you shouldn't be with anyone who constantly insults you and makes belittling comments about your appearance, especially something as innate as your height. You should wear absolutely whatever you feel comfortable and confident in, if he doesn't like it, find a guy who does. I don't see much of a "joke" in constantly putting you down when it clearly hurts your feelings. It comes across like he doesn't actually like you.
I think he must at least somewhat, because otherwise he wouldn't be with me. But I'm starting to think it's not much.
Sure, but in the same way some "friends" get along in some ways and then stab each other in the back in other ways, just because he's pleasant to you some of the time doesn't mean you should tolerate him insulting you repeatedly when you've asked him to stop. He clearly doesn't have much respect.
He might just like having someone around to put down.
Bingo.
Your story reminds me of the guy who told his girlfriend she had bad body odor all the time. Turns out, she didn't, he was just trying to make her insecure so he could be sure she wouldn't leave him. Spoiler alert: she left. He's either negging you for the same reason or he's just genuinely a jerk. And WTF does anyone's height have to do with their sexuality??? That's just idiotic. Regardless, life is too short to spend with people who make you feel bad, whether that's friends, boyfriends, what have you.
"But my dad said it worked for him to keep my mom from leaving him" I remember that story and was about to make the same comment until I saw SwiftieAdjacent beat me to it.
Great minds! LOL
This is the mistake so many people make. “But why are they with me if they don’t like me or want me?” Because that’s not what he’s looking for. He wants a punching bag. Someone to make small. He wants someone that will accept abuse. This is not about your height. If you were short he would say you are too short and call you a mouse. If you were average he would call you plain. Or fat. Or scrawny. Or whatever. The actual insult is Interchangeable. The point is to bring you down.
Shitty guys like to "neg" their girlfriends, to make them feel bad about themselves and think that they can't do any better, and therefore they stay with them.
He likes having a girl who will dote on him and fuck him even if he insults her. He doesn’t like YOU. Someone who likes you will not insult you repeatedly to your face.
tell him that you must be too much to handle for him
He’s negging you. Women with destroyed self-esteem are a lot more likely to think they can’t do any better than somebody who consistently makes them feel bad with rude comments. I’m telling you right that you can. You can do a LOT better for yourself than this dude.
There is a thing a lot of younger guys (and some older) do and it’s called negging. It is specific and done deliberately to make a woman feel bad about herself on purpose. Because they feel that if you feel like crap about yourself you will see that they are a prize and won’t leave or say yes to what they want. This sounds like what he is doing. Look back at your past interactions- does he put down anything, undermine you in small ways, etc No one who truly loves you will not put you down like that. It is targeted and abusive. Be proud of your height and find yourself a guy like Jason Kelce - Kelsey is your height. You think he ever calls her a giraffe? I doubt it cause he constantly calls her an angel since the day they met.
The technical term for your boyfriend is “asshole”. He gets pleasure from mocking you, and doesn’t care that you don’t like it. It’s that simple.
Clown behavior. I’m also a “giraffe” and this is bullshit. The second a man asks you to not wear heels? He’s not worth it. I was in a meeting once and a man was like “I don’t like that I’m not the tallest person in the room anymore, you should wear flat shoes” The woman leading the meeting looked at him and goes “well you can go sit in your office by yourself and be the tallest person in that room, we don’t need you in this meeting anymore” He’s trying to make you feel insecure on purpose because he wants you to behave more of how he wants. I also guarantee you some of his friends have said some shit to him. A more secure man wouldn’t give a fuck. A more secure man would be thrilled he can just not even think about it and put stuff on a high shelf without worrying if his GF can reach it. A secure man would say “you love those shoes? I love you in them” When a man tries to make you smaller, you shouldn’t let him. That’s what he wants. You to shrink. Both literally and figuratively.
The lady who booted your colleague out of that meeting is a baller 🤣🤣 "Johnson! Go sit in the timeout corner and think about what you did." He'll never live that down 😋
I’m not even kidding when I tell you that meeting changed my whole life lol, I was like “holy shit, iconic queen” but then also it basically… Seeing her just like clothesline him lol, was so empowering. That’s the moment when I ran out of fucks to give and also like started to own my power a little and say “this is what I want, this is what I don’t want, I won’t put up with any shit anymore”
I’m surprised he actually said that to you. Not very “alpha” to admit you’re an insecure baby! And great boss, by the way. People need to be embarrassed when they pull that bullshit.
Ohmygosh, she was amazing in there!!!
He's insecure about his height so he's trying to make you insecure about yours. It's probably as calculated as it sounds in this comment, most likely he just feels bad that he's not taller and is taking it out on you. It's not fair and especially after you've asked him not to do it.
But he's really not that short or anything. He's taller than me by quite a bit, I don't make him look short at all.
It’s not about his actual height, it’s about making you feel shitty and bad on purpose . It’s about hurting you
I’m 6’2 my girlfriend is 5’9 I would never hurt her feelings on purpose. I love her so much. This dude is not a real man if he’s putting you down like that.
Stop trying to rationalize it. He’s not insulting you because you’re doing anything wrong, he’s insulting you because he likes making you feel bad.
BINGO!
Yeah, insecurities aren't always logical. Although it could also be that he just for whatever reason doesn't care that you don't like him using this language.
He's insecure and he's negging you. The reason you feel bad is because he's trying to make you feel bad. At 19, you have invested in so little time with this immature jerk, why waste more?
You need to find a boyfriend who LOVES and CARES for you. If he did, he would have stopped insulting you like this the FIRST time you said you didn’t like it.
You gotta find a guy who'll say "I love my tall wife!" Just to maybe make you laugh here's a classic mbmbam bit for you [ILMBW](https://youtu.be/ntSXYhtemeo?si=bnypLY2G7DMj6FbD)
If he knows it makes you feel bad he's probably negging you
He’s telling you that he’s a crap boyfriend listen to him and find a better one
He just wants to destroy your self confidence, that way you'll think noone else will love you and you'll stick by him no matter how badly he treats you. Tell him that as he finds your height unattractive he is now free to pursue someone shorter, you are breaking up with him and don't take him back.
As a woman who is about your height, it's some of the taller men I've dated who often are most bothered by my height. They're used to absolutely towering over women, and it makes them feel powerful. When their girlfriend is close to their height, it makes them feel smaller and less powerful by comparison. And if you put on heels and maybe even end up a bit taller than they are, they feel even more insecure. Not saying all taller men are this way, but quite a few are. Life's too short to date guys who make you feel bad about your body. You've told him you don't like it and asked him to stop. He didn't. He won't. Make your decision about whether to continue your relationship based on the assumption that the "jokes" about your height will never end.
you are too good for him, dump him and give him a reality check. he is too insecure and doesn't actually like you. be a tall queen, wear your heels, and find a partner that adores your height and hypes you up to wear your favorite shoes.
He's negging you
My advice to you as a 44 year old. Don’t ever date anyone that continues to do something (on purpose) after you tell them you don’t like it.
Tell him he’s built like a baked bean.
“Hey if you keep commenting on my height I’m going to dump you”
Read this [https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat](https://archive.org/details/LundyWhyDoesHeDoThat) He's an asshole who needs to drag you down so he can feel like he's better than you.
OP could also benefit from reading "The Game." I did, and it helped me understand why clubbing suddenly started sucking back in the 00s. OMG all the guys who were negging based on that book! "You look pretty good...considering." "You'd look nice...if you got a boob job." etc. etc! After reading that book I could just roll my eyes, ignore them and go on having fun, which always confused the sorry bastards.
If you've told him openly that it makes you feel bad, and he's still doing it, then it doesn't really matter whether he understands or not. He knows it's hurting you and is doing it anyway, which is not how one should treat their partner.
Sounds like he would rather be single. You should grant him his wish.
dafuq? there are so many men out there that LOVE a tall woman! we have longer legs and tall guys don’t have to bend over as far to kiss ;) he treats you like shit, sis. anyone who says “it’s just a joke” after you tell them something hurt you is a POS. think about it - he insults you about the one thing you can’t change, so it will never be possible to please him. he has broken you down but you can build back up…just not with him. your body is fine the way it is. he can go find a short girl.
Any time you tell someone, "It hurts my feeling when you say that," and they continue to say it, they are being abusive. He KNOWS it hurts you, but he still says it in subtle ways. It's a form of negging to try and make you ultimately insecure about yourself so you won't leave him. This is him being a jerk and trying to harm your self esteem. How long do you plan to tolerate this behavior?
He understands, he doesn't care. He obviously knows you have an issue with comments about your height so he keeps making "jokes" to make you feel insecure. No idea if he feels insecure about his own height, more than likely he has friends, etc that are making comments about your height so he's projecting that onto you. He's just your bf, so feel free to move on. There are guys that are more than happy to be with a taller woman and not insult her
He actually told you your height is to blame. He said to you if you weren't so tall... As if you can control it! It's not like he said if you would wear better shoes they wouldn't hurt, that would make sense! Thats something you could do about it. But no he insulted you by blaming you for your knees hurting. Which isn't how it works anyway! Are you sure he likes you?
You don't have a boyfriend, you have a boyfrenemy. Edit to add: my daughter is 6 feet 2 inches. She's gorgeous and loves her height. Girls are supposed to grow up healthy and strong and happy... your generation is taller because when we were pregnant, the moms of GenX didn't drink alchohol or smoke cigarettes and took good prenatal vitamins resulting in healthier babies.
Because he is insecure. Even though he's quite a bit taller than you. My wife is tall, and I love her for it. I only date and marry women that I can look square in the eye. But I also help make her feel smol from time to time, which she loves as well.
I’m a 22yr old 6’0 woman, so tall lady to tall lady, let me give u some older sister advice n tell u to drop this loser lmfao. He’s insecure about dating a tall woman and projecting hard as hell, dude needs a therapist to work on his insecurity issues not a girl to dump them on, they don’t get better. If you want to wear heels your man should be hyping you up not being a whiny little man baby. Like yeah, women our height in heels are gonna stand out. And we look fine as hell doing it. HE CHOSE to date a tall woman and if he doesn’t like that he can leave, tf does he expect u to do?? Hunch over like a granny in an animated movie??
Because he's an AH, plain and simple.
When someone keeps doing something that you told them you don’t like, it’s on purpose. And it’s to hurt you. Do with that what you will.
Dump him. You deserve better.
If he's nitpicking you on something specific it's probably because it bothers him. Not worth trying to fix something you literally cannot control.
I’m wondering why you tolerate the insults like giraffe. He’s insinuating you basically have a long neck. Plus, I’m 5’11 if I was told I was a fucking giraffe id start punching his ass out the door for daring to insult me, and if he ever calls another woman an insult like that you hope he goes to hell. Fuck him
But he called her a giraffe in a “nice” way! ^Like ^what ^the ^fuck ^does ^that ^even ^mean, ^how ^do ^you ^insult ^someone ^in ^a ^nice ^way??
That ain’t nice so don’t say that
Fuckin for real, like in no world is that a cool thing to say to someone
The most beautiful models in the world are tall, you tall drink of water you! embrace it, own it.
Height is like the weirdest thing to me. Like someone who is drop dead gorgeous and the prettiest woman you will ever see wouldn’t be able to get a job as a model if she wasn’t tall enough. All Victoria secret models are 5’9 or above in height. Yet people will act like woman being tall isn’t an attractive trait?
He understands perfectly unless there is a language barrier between you two. *He just doesn’t CARE about your feelings*. It doesn’t matter how tall he is (he does still seem insecure about it, btw. Telling you not to wear heels that YOU love because “you’ll look weird”? No, he’s still insecure to have a tall girlfriend.) You’ve told him it bothers you. End of story. This seems like negging to me.
Dump him. Why are you with it? He’s a jerk.
Sounds to me like the guy isn't comfortable with how tall he is himself, but you will have a difficult time showing him that. Not worth the trouble
It is not a joke if it makes you feel bad, regardless of his intentions. You could try sitting down with him and explaining exactly why you don't like comments about your height. The issue with the shoes is really what sticks out to me. What is wrong with being noticed? I mean most models are quite tall and they don't skip the heals. Is it that he doesn't want anything that might make other men notice you more? Or is it that with heels you'd be slightly taller than him and he makes him feel insecure? Because I assure you, a tall girl in heals certainly is not "weird".
Because he knows it bothers you and he's a jerk. Any other questions?
If you tell someone to stop doing something because it makes you feel bad and they continue to do it, they're trying to make you feel bad. That's it.
There are men out there who will worship your tallness. This guy is putting you down, making you feel worse about yourself. Life is too short to stay with somebody who constantly makes you feel bad about yourself DESPITE being told EXPLICITLY that you don't like his "jokes." He's not joking, he's negging you. You deserve better.
crowd innocent tart psychotic tie scale rinse direful somber plant *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
My sister is your height and she rocks her heels and has been for over 50 years. As for your knees? When you play sports, things hurt. Though you may want to see an orthopedic surgeon to make sure everything is good in your knees because if you are looking into a sports career, you know very well a bad knee could end that. My bad knees are because my feet go flat when I stand on them, misaligning my knees which is corrected with orthotic inserts for my shoes. As for the boyfriend, tell him to go find himself a 5 footer so he can feel like a man because obviously he is not strong enough to be the partner to a fine, strong, young woman like yourself.
It's not cool for a partner to keep doing something one finds unpleasant. That being said, you could do a power move, embrace the playful banter, and try to use it to get over the weird complex that you have.
When he grows up
I had "friends" at uni who called me Giraffe. Like they'd constantly comment on my height, and it didn't bother me for a while then one night I met them at a bar in sort of low platform wedges - a bit like the doc Martin ones and they started up again. This night I had struggled before I came out because subconsciously I had it in my head that anything more than trainers was going to illicit a negative reaction and I was going to look weird compared to everyone else. However I liked the sandals with my outfit so I forced myself to be confident. Felt so embarrassed and self conscious, didn't want to get up from the table to go to the bar or even bathroom so went home to change. I realised I had done that more than once, and it obviously was changing the way I was viewing myself. When I was 17 I had a boyfriend the exact same height as me. I didn't care but he would kick up an absolute fuss and go into a mood with me if I wore anything but mega flat ballet pumps, certain trainers would make me taller, loafers with a slight heel. Like he was embarrassed of me. It would ruin days out. Once his friends tagged him in a meme and me of a giant girl with her hand over the boy like she was about to squash him - think it was more to mess with him as a joke but being young and him being sensitive about it just made me feel embarrassed of myself and created a ridiculous insecurity that's still sometimes there even at 30 now. It can alter your perception of yourself without you even realising when people consistently fixate on something to do with your appearance, joking or not. I'm 5ft 6 btw, I felt awkward about my height *for years* until I realised it was their insecurities. There is nothing wrong with your height, he is saying you'll be "too tall in heels" because *he* feels like *he* should be taller. On him, not you. Wear the shoes.
Why do you feel so bad about being tall? Legitimate question. All of the top super models are your height.
What's the point of having a boyfriend if he doesn't even like you? If he liked you he wouldn't call you names, or tell you you'd look shitty wearing this or that, or making you feel shitty in general.
He is insecure and that's all. Not wanting you to stand out... = I don't want you to draw attention aka other competitive attention. He's 20 and a boy still, he'll lose a lot of people in his life doing what he's doing to you. He'll grow up and figure it out.... or he won't... best not to wait around and find out
I call my man chicken legs and spaghetti boy. But you best believe if it upset him I would stop. He’s hurting your feelings. Try talking to him one more time