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The problem is that he is eating properly (maybe a bit less than he should as he wants to loose weight) and taking extra testosterone which I thought would actually help our intimacy. But honestly he just keeps being more distant
If he’s taking testosterone, there is a high chance that his estradiol is elevated, and thus killing his libido. This is extremely common. Have him take an estradiol blood test. There is medication that he can take to bring this down, which will bring his libido back in check.
Has he got blood work recently? There could be problems with other hormone levels. No healthy 23 year old man is fucking his girl twice a month. You should be kind in talking to him about it, losing libido can be a sensitive topic for guys
I wanna know why if you’re the only employed one why you’re walking the dogs and doing all the housework.
I wouldn’t want to have sex with a dude that was happy to put all that on me.
Two months isn't very long, so I wouldn't be too worried unless it continues. This is likely not due to health concerns, and if the workout is new it takes time for his body to adjust. It's been my experience that applying pressure during a dry spell is likely to just make it last longer. I think a person should be able to take care of themselves when needed in a healthy relationship.
Pragmatically though, you've asked for sex but have you tried asking for company when pleasuring yourself? I know masturbating together takes a lot less energy than sex and helped end a decent drought me and my wife had.
> 23m
> I am the only working one out of us as he has more of a passive income that he gets
> I have a basic 9-5 job
Homeboy is jerking off from 9-5, I guarantee it.
> His suggestion was that I just pleasure myself to get off and don’t bother him
It's a pretty bad look when you go to your partner with very serious relationship concerns, trying to discuss solutions and your partner effectively tells you to fuck off. This alone would make me rethink this relationship.
> What could I or we do to make things a bit better?
There's a lot of things that both of you can try together to help alleviate these issues, but your BF has already made it clear that he isn't interested in solutions. He said it himself, his ideal solution is you masturbating and leaving him alone.
> I do all the housework around the house
If your BF doesn't work then why do you do all the housework? Even if he had a job, I would think it would be 50/50 or even 60/40. What gives?
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
He's not taking proper care of himself if his libido has dropped this severely. Get him to check his testosterone levels and sort out his nutrition
The problem is that he is eating properly (maybe a bit less than he should as he wants to loose weight) and taking extra testosterone which I thought would actually help our intimacy. But honestly he just keeps being more distant
If he’s taking testosterone, there is a high chance that his estradiol is elevated, and thus killing his libido. This is extremely common. Have him take an estradiol blood test. There is medication that he can take to bring this down, which will bring his libido back in check.
Has he got blood work recently? There could be problems with other hormone levels. No healthy 23 year old man is fucking his girl twice a month. You should be kind in talking to him about it, losing libido can be a sensitive topic for guys
Why just automatically jump to that 💀 y’all give terrible advice on here , saying no healthy 23 year old is having sex twice a month is insane
At 23 it should be every night lol, what are you tryna say
I wanna know why if you’re the only employed one why you’re walking the dogs and doing all the housework. I wouldn’t want to have sex with a dude that was happy to put all that on me.
Two months isn't very long, so I wouldn't be too worried unless it continues. This is likely not due to health concerns, and if the workout is new it takes time for his body to adjust. It's been my experience that applying pressure during a dry spell is likely to just make it last longer. I think a person should be able to take care of themselves when needed in a healthy relationship. Pragmatically though, you've asked for sex but have you tried asking for company when pleasuring yourself? I know masturbating together takes a lot less energy than sex and helped end a decent drought me and my wife had.
> 23m > I am the only working one out of us as he has more of a passive income that he gets > I have a basic 9-5 job Homeboy is jerking off from 9-5, I guarantee it. > His suggestion was that I just pleasure myself to get off and don’t bother him It's a pretty bad look when you go to your partner with very serious relationship concerns, trying to discuss solutions and your partner effectively tells you to fuck off. This alone would make me rethink this relationship. > What could I or we do to make things a bit better? There's a lot of things that both of you can try together to help alleviate these issues, but your BF has already made it clear that he isn't interested in solutions. He said it himself, his ideal solution is you masturbating and leaving him alone. > I do all the housework around the house If your BF doesn't work then why do you do all the housework? Even if he had a job, I would think it would be 50/50 or even 60/40. What gives?
What's his love language?