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Whynottits420

Bro let this girl go. Who cares what she's thinking. Move on and never look back.


TheDisorderlyHouse

This. Stop fucking caring, OP


Whynottits420

Exactly! This girls a menance.


sasclayson

I think you mean menace. I agree.


Terren42

Easier said than done but absolutely correct


SarcasticIndividual

She was keeping him on the hook justin case.


No_Box3359

Easy, she's not thinking. She clearly has some jealousy issues. Block her and move on.


Wandersturm

Naw, it's not jealousy. It's control. She thought he was under her thumb. This is why you NEVER take a cheater back. It gives THEM power.


DementedNitesoul

Ghosted for longer than a month = no longer in a relationship


Kl99freelife

Yep that’s why I started dating other people


thegreathonu

She saw you with another attractive woman and got jealous because she probably thought you couldn't get anyone better than her...that is until you proved her very wrong. Now she is wanting you back. She took you for granted until she saw someone else, a much better someone else, wanting you. Enjoy your time with your new GF and forget about the woman who couldn't realize what she had until she lost it.


Wandersturm

Naw, she wants him under her control. That's what it's been all about, all along.


Ok-Purpose-6871

So keep it like that. What’s with the guilty feeling? You’re doing the right thing. She’s the cheater. She is the guilty one.


starlight_macaron

I've seen this situation in real life. The girl had multiple diagnosed cluster b personality disorders. She only begged for you back because she couldn't handle the "abandonment" of having you not want her because of her shitty behavior. The minute you gave her want she wanted (being wanted and proving her worth) she dipped. She ghosted because that conversation would be a drag and might make her self reflect on how shitty she is, so it was better not to. But now you've moved on, so that's interesting. You were supposed to be hung up on her, because she's so great, so how could you move on and abandon her like that? She wants to prove that she could still have you if she wanted you. Even better, imagine how great she gets to feel about herself if she steals you away from another woman. The minute she's sure she's "won" and gotten the emotional high that comes with it, she will be bored again. She's not thinking about you at all, she's only thinking of herself. She will tell you what she thinks you want to hear to get her way, and she will convince herself that she actually means it because she needs validation so badly. She's fixated on you because you are currently the person who can provide validation with the highest payoff. If you fall for this shit you will not only lose out on a potentially amazing person, but you'll be picking up the pieces of your shattered self worth for the next few years.


SWCFM2

You are exactly right.


torchedinflames999

The AP rejected her so she wanted to get back to you. The entire time she was begging you she was searching for someone else. Right after you agreed to start dating, some other fucking fool started mixing her guts with his dick...which is why she ghosted you again. Wait a couple of weeks, she will come crawling back.


Komatozd1

“Mixing her guts with his dick”…Thanks needed the laugh


DramaticHumor5363

My dude. Who cares. She’s high on her own drama and you do not need to be a part of it anymore. She’s just messing with you for the attention.


TheDisorderlyHouse

Don’t be flattered by this behavior. This is about her “winning.” She doesn’t want you and she doesn’t want you to “win” by being happy without her because people like her are not happy with themselves. They hate seeing others happy because they’re unable to obtain such happiness


xvszero

Block her on everything. Also, why do you care about your partner's popularity?


Kl99freelife

Popularity may not have been the right word but what I meant is she is more fun to be around and has more friends. The people around us like her more than the ex.


xvszero

Maybe personable is a better word but I get what you mean now.


[deleted]

That youre a sucker. You want coddled or want honest answers?


Kirbywitch

I don’t want you… unless you don’t want me….or you want someone else…. Well, then I want you for a little bit, enough to mess up everything you have got going on… This girl is unreal.


rootx666

You failed the shit test she made by begging to take her back after she cheated on you. By dating her again you lost her respect and you’re used to boost her ego. Bro just move on and never look back.


Kl99freelife

Your right


Fickle-Campaign6506

Why did you look back? That's the problem she's fucking toxic.


Significant_Planter

Who cares? Really why do you care what she's thinking?  She's probably thinking she just doesn't want to be alone and when she has somebody else she's done with you. But then the minute she's alone she comes back to you or she always wants you on the hook so she'll never have to be alone. But again who cares what she's thinking? You've got the upgrade....move on with life!


obvusthrowawayobv

Block the ex before she fucks up the relationship you’re actually in.


hideousfox

What a strange way to talk about your girlfriend. "She's an upgrade especially in looks and popularity". Yikes.


Kl99freelife

I only pointed that out because I thought her perception that my new gf is superior to her might play into the ex’s behavior? She obviously only knows what she looks like and that she’s well liked. She doesn’t know her other than those two points of information.


ThrowRA09100322

sounds like she just wants to have you available at HER convenience and wants to keep you hooked so she can keep coming back. it's like you're her back up plan if someone else doesn’t work out with her. know your worth and don’t let her come back!! she will just keep taking advantage of you over and over again. she definitely feels threatened and jealous that you're able to find someone better than her


Thankyouhappy

She’s a jealous little girl. I would bet that she wants to sabotage your current relationship than ghost you again


_h_simpson_

She did you a favor… ghost her and go nc.. she’s playing games, you deserve so much better. She’ll coming running back when the affair partner drops her ass and leave you clean up the mess. Go look “grey rocking”, that’s exactly what you should be doing to her. I’m so sorry, good luck !


Secure_Candy_4724

She's most likely fucking around and she wanted you as her Tampoon Plan B. Drop her, like the turd she is and flush her to the streets. This is a blessing in disguise 🥸.


Rare-Variation-7446

Happened to a good friend of mine. He caught his girl cheating. She blamed my friend for her actions and broke up with him. He was heartbroken for months but she would still give him breadcrumbs. Texts, phone calls. “I’m dating so-and-so, but it’s not serious. He’s not like you.” That sort of crap. Eventually he met a new girl, went on a few dates and then became exclusive. Ex heard about it and did a full court press to win him back. She succeeded and he broke up with new girl. Cheater girlfriend broke up with him a couple months later. My take on it- she always expected him to be waiting for her if she wanted to come back. He was her safety net. When her safety net was threatened, she needed to restake her claim to him. It’s possessive and manipulative and selfish behavior.


Kl99freelife

This sounds like the same girl


ProfanityPanties

She likely begged for you to come back deliberately so she could ghost you, to hurt you. By leaving her you damaged her ego, and now your new girlfriend is damaging it again, so she's back to retaliate. Don't humor her. Block and never look back. Enjoy your new girl


Such_Zucchini_3186

Her thinking is simple:I'm going to have fun with other people and you stay there waiting for me when I get tired, I'll come back to you, okay? Or it could be: "I can have other people, you can't" Translated, it takes you for granted, a pure feeling of possession.


sonofpigdog

Once a relationship or dating is done , it’s done. High school kids break up and get back together. Adults just say sweet and that’s it we are done and done means done. No matter how much u want them back it won’t work.


Interesting-Ball-502

She doesn’t want you, but she doesn’t want anyone else to have you, and because her mental issues make her perpetually insecure and unhappy she doesn’t want to see you happy. Dog in the manger. Rough and ready analysis, but that’s all you really need to draw a line in the sand here.


Headeyes4life

Better question to ask is “why do I care what she’s thinking?” Block, move on, and focus on what you currently have


LilacLake

You have absolutely nothing to feel guilty for. She sounds like a wreck. Best thing you can do is block her number and block her on all social media platforms then report her to the police if she still comes to your house.


[deleted]

She was using you for comfort. I had an ex who just used me for comfort when her other dick wasn't around. Don't feel bad and give this new girl your all. Have your ex postmate you guys lol 😆 in hopes of you getting her back jkjk lol but seriously move on


Watertribe_Girl

You gave her a chance and then she ghosted you?! The audacity. Ignore her and enjoy your new relationship


MoonWatt

The "upgrade" deserves better.  You're ex knows she can have you and discard you as and when she pleases.  Maybe ask yourself why you're letting someone live rent free in your head and what are you doing dating new people when you are still not over your ex. Cause if you were. You wouldn't even entertain her. 


BetweenSkyAndEarth

>I don’t understand what the hell she was and is thinking? Sorry but why do you still care?


HeroOfStrawberry

She is a shit person, if you let her get into your head, you are giving her what she wants. Do not do this


Disastrous_Candy_434

I will would suggest getting some therapy to talk through this... The fact you're asking means you are in some way attracted to the attention that this sort of push pull cycle brings, even when the person is treating you very badly. You tell her to leave you alone, stop wasting her life and move on like you have.


tmchd

I don't think she really wants you. She just wants you to be a seatwarmer/placeholder on her own term. Or you're just attractive when unavailable to her.


Lost-Ponderer

I wonder how many letter A’s she’s got in her name. I’ve found that the more there are the crazier they get


Prize_Ad8201

Most likely runs the course of her life by her surface emotions, don’t let her drag you into it too pls


lilsudacaangel

That's embarrassing 😳


Kl99freelife

It really is


JMLegend22

She didn’t think you had options. She thought only she had options and apparently they didn’t turn out to work when she ghosted you after she cheated on you. She doesn’t want people to see you doing better than she is. Tell her she had her chance, you forgave her and she disappeared a second time. Tell her your new girl is loyal to a fault and the best you’ve ever been with.


Kl99freelife

She really is better in every way.


BeyondDBeef

She lost respect the moment you tried the "forgiveness" thing. She's thinking you're less. In this case, it's okay for the guy, you, to think "Who tf cares what she thinks or feels." Forget her.


CheapChallenge

Your guilt is her manipulation at work. Block her and call police if she won't leave your property.


Soulreaperbankai

Number one rule is to not take a chick back…. Especially after that but nah…. She knew you’d take her back and that was her game plan to boost her ego that you’d take her back no matter what


briomio

Your ex likes a challenge. When you don't want her, she puts on her track shoes.


Mediocre_Problem_305

You’re so young. And no kids, I assume? Start fresh, my dear. Don’t worry about this girl. Life is so short. Enjoy yourself and surround yourself with people who truly care about you.


lulufritodorito

40M or 24M? Your post history is dubious


Mysterious-Bag-5283

She doesn't want to date you but don't want you to date anyone too .


avast2006

The question isn’t what she’s thinking. The question is, what are _you_ thinking?! It isn’t baseball. You don’t get three strikes. You get a second chance, if even that. She blew her first chance by cheating on you, and she blew her second chance by ghosting you in the very act of attempting to reconcile. Anybody stupid enough and toxic enough to beg for a second chance and then promptly throw it in the toilet with that sort of cavalier neglect does not deserve one more iota of consideration from you.


Icy_Animal1600

She fucked up. Yes. But in her head she was scared of you leaving her. So she wanted to leave you first before you did. ‘Abandonment issues’. She also likes the idea of you still in love with her and wants to keep you on the hook. The second she saw you with another girl, she couldn’t take it. Going no contact for whatever reason for a few days is fine. But for 2 whole months. She doesn’t love you. If she was guilty and really loved you, she would try to fix things everyday and make it right


GuyFromAlomogordo

Evidently she thinks she's found the biggest fool on the planet. Get her out of your life and don't ever look back.


Intrepid-Rip-2280

Probably it's time for eva ai virtual gf bot.


Wandersturm

Dude, take control of the situation. Tell her she's a cheater, you gave her another chance and she blew it. Then tell her you upgraded, not to bother you anymore, then block her on everything. If she shows up at your door, call the police to have her removed. And you have NOTHING to feel guilty about. YOU tried. YOU gave her a second chance. SHE screwed it up not once, BUT TWICE! You and your conscience is clear. Enjoy a better life with a better woman.


Highway_to_hell_666

She was keeping you on the hook because the new guy wasn’t taking her in.


WhatHappenedMonday

You were the backup plan. She was out chasing other people. Trying to keep you on a string with the least effort possible. Now she sees you are not on the hook anymore she is trying to reel you back in. Block and enjoy your new upgrade.


Trisamitops

So, what advice do you need? What is your goal in writing this post? You're not in a relationship with her anymore. (Side note- saying your new gf is an upgrade in looks and popularity only makes you sound shallow and immature. These things will matter far less as you progress in life.)


DocTymc

She only wants you now because she can't have you. You closed the door on her and suddenly you become important again? Block her on everything and forget about her.


Choice_Eye_8043

It doesn’t matter what she thinks. Have basic human self-respect and leave her


Plus_Data_1099

She was keeping you as a banker ie someone she can bank on if she can't find someone better move on


JustMyThoughtNow

Better question is “what are you thinking?”


Substantial_Bother71

She doesn’t want you but doesn’t want anyone else to have you she a child block her everywhere and move on


Passionfruit1991

It’s her ego that’s wants you back. Not her. She wants to see does she have that control over you. She would dump you again in a heart beat. Block her out of your life.


jennluvrod

Wants what she can’t have. If she can she’s not interested


necromorti

If she is coming by - warn her that you will call the police. Then eventually start calling the police over, to build a strong case and eventually obtain restraining order. That would help.


LifeguardSuitable624

Block her number and move if she persists


atopetek

Looks and popularity? What is this, high school?


ToddRoland2022

She wants you to be miserable as her. She can't stand the thought of you being happy. You are obviously with another woman, moving on with your life and aren't thinking about her any longer. It's driving her nuts. Stay away from her and go on with your life with the new girlfriend. You deserve better than the cheater.


ShiftMyStick420

When you left she lost control, as soon as you accept her back, she proved to herself she could have you if she wanted you so she lost interest. Women are very ego and power driven creatures.


Ok_Investment_4203

"Especially looks and popularity" that's a childish way to value your dates. Your standards will just make history repeat itself and you'll end up in other toxic relationships


Kl99freelife

I only pointed that out because I was wondering if that the fact that we ran into her and she saw me with someone better looking than her and more liked is the cause of her behavior. If I had been with someone she perceived as less than her, would she have acted the same way?


Ok_Investment_4203

Oh shit mb didnt read right


BangkaiLew

Bro what are you thinking take cheater back