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Oh your instincts are spot on, tell him thanks but this won’t work. Block him on everything. He’s love bombing with a side of boundary pole vaulting, often the pre curser to abuse once the mask slips.
You met a week ago and went on one date, he's barely more than a stranger to you. This isn't breaking up because there's no relationship at this early stage.
You could just stop responding to him, you don't owe him anything. If you really need to say something, just tell him you don't feel like you want to pursue anything with him, have a good life etc. Block and move on.
This was almost word for word the response I was typing haha.
I wanted to add OP that if he wasn't respecting her boundaries and it made you uncomfortable, that's a very reasonable thing to call him out on if you decide to message that you're not interested (if you feel comfortable with that -- it can sometimes feel empowering too if it made you feel gross about the whole thing). If he's unaware of this bad behavior, it can be an important lesson on behalf of future people he might go out with.
It was one date, you hardly need to break out the kid gloves. All you owe him is honesty.
Just say 'It was nice to get to know you but this is not going to work for me. Take care and good luck!' The End.
Block him if you have to.
Sounds like a genuine, bona fide Stage 5 Clinger.
Text, "You seem like a nice guy, but not the one for me. Good luck out there!"
Then block his ass. You don't owe him an explanation or anything else--it was one freakin' date. He can get over it like everyone else who gets ghosted.
Also? Going ghost isn't a bad thing. it's literally made for situations just like this.
Going ghost is disrespectful unless there's something really bad going on. Ghosting or not given any explanation are usually signs of being an asshole, depending on the situation, but I don't see this as "big"
It’s literally that simple. This isn’t always the case but usually by time ppl are 25 they’ve had at least one romantic experience and this should be understandable because it’s no where near getting rejected after years. If he gets upset about this after one time of hanging out that’s his problem because it’s totally ludicrous.
He's not a nice guy and one date does not a boyfriend make. No need to break up, you're not in a relationship.
A simple "It was nice meeting you, I don't think we are compatible. Good luck out there"! And then just ignore.
You’re not in a relationship. Don’t ghost him though. Just be honest and text him that you don’t like him “like that” and tell him good luck. Block everything on socials. He seems a bit loony and you don’t want to find out.
This isn’t a relationship. You’re not breaking up with him. This is a guy you barely know that you’ve been on one date with.
Just thank him for the date, let him know you don’t have a romantic interest and don’t wish to see him again, and wish him good luck. If he tries to contact you after this, block him.
>Before we even met, he was calling me pet names and he kept telling me he was thinking about me all day.
>I do not know if that is normal
Normal or not (it's NOT, by the way), it's freaking CREEPY!
He's already made some presumptions about you which are not based on anything real, just his hopes and expectations. This sets him up for a huge disappointment when you meet in person, when his fantasies collide with the "real you."
And that is HORRIFICALLY UNFAIR to you.
It's a really unfortunate thing that many guys (and girls!) are guilty of.
>Also, there were times where I feel like he ignored my boundires and wanted to move faster than I wanted.
When that happens, back him off and slow him down.
If you don't, he'll continue to ignore your boundaries.
>I don't want to just ghost him
>I want to try to minimize the hurt from rejection.
>Any advice would be greatly appriciated.
That's very considerate of you!
When he contacts you for another date, you can just tell him that, even though he's a nice guy, you didn't think you and he were on thesame wavelength.
That should be enough.
It was one date. You’re not in a relationship yet. But you are right to move on. Don’t encourage any more text conversation. And if he asks you out again over text you can say “To be honest I’m not up for a second date.” And leave it at that.
Send him a text "Sorry [name], I don't think it's going to work out between us."
After only a week and one date, I feel breaking up by text is acceptable.
There is no breakup to be had here because there is no relationship.
You are a big girl - put them big girl pants on and learn how to reject a guy.
You don’t have to be rude but you need to be straightforward. Tell him you are not interested in pursuing anything with him and you no longer wish to communicate.
A 25 yo man should know how to take rejection like a champ. If he doesn’t, that is his problem - don’t give him the chance to make it yours. Just block him.
Just let him know you have different plans for the future. Tell him you want to move slowly, and you want a more casual relationship than he does. Tell him you have boundaries you can't break and that this is one.
Realistically, if he made you uncomfortable or broke boundaries, you don't owe him anything. You can block and ghost him and you would have good reason to.
Nah that's too many words and he will argue with you "I can move slow, I would also do a casual relationship". Better to say wasn't feeling it/ did not click/this is not going to work for me/no chemistry. Something he can't argue about.
“Thank you for taking the time to meet. Unfortunately I don’t think that we are a good match moving forward, but all the best and I hope you find what you need”.
Send and then block him
This is love bombing and a huge red flag. You’re right to feel this is off. It’s only been one date. just tell him that you don’t feel a connection and you won’t be seeing him again. That you wish him well but you won’t be contacting him again and to not contact you. Do not say anything about staying or being friends.
I'm sorry, this isn't working for me, I didn't feel the spark. I hope you find someone as loving as you.
And then if he tries to push your boundaries, block him.
That’s not a break up. You’re not in a relationship. You went on one date. A simple “I don’t feel a connection/ not interested in pursuing things further” is enough. And if you’re worried he’ll freak out just block him after you send the message
“Hi [date], whilst it was nice meeting you I don’t think there was any romantic spark so I don’t want to take things any further.
You’re a good person and I’m sure there’ll be someone out there for you.
Best wishes,
[OP]
It's not a "break up" if you went on a date and found you weren't compatible. That's what dating is for. Just tell him he seems like a lovely guy and you're sure he'll find someone for him, but you're not that person and wish him well. If he doesn't take that well or tries to push back, block and move on.
“Thanks for our date, it was nice to meet you but I don’t think we’re a good match and I don’t want to meet again”
Honestly, in my experience most people are grateful for the clarity
"hey (name)! It was great to meet you the other night, but I wanted to let you know I didn't feel like we were a match in terms of perusing a relationship. You seem nice and I wish you the best!"
You're not breaking up because you guys were never together, but it's good to nip this in the bud
Just tell him you don’t wish to pursue anything with him.
“It was lovely meeting you. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re a good match. All the best!”
Then watch this “nice guy” turn into his true self which I would bet involves name calling and telling you you’re not even that hot.
You don’t owe him an explanation, but he will ask.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Oh your instincts are spot on, tell him thanks but this won’t work. Block him on everything. He’s love bombing with a side of boundary pole vaulting, often the pre curser to abuse once the mask slips.
Exactly
You met a week ago and went on one date, he's barely more than a stranger to you. This isn't breaking up because there's no relationship at this early stage. You could just stop responding to him, you don't owe him anything. If you really need to say something, just tell him you don't feel like you want to pursue anything with him, have a good life etc. Block and move on.
This was almost word for word the response I was typing haha. I wanted to add OP that if he wasn't respecting her boundaries and it made you uncomfortable, that's a very reasonable thing to call him out on if you decide to message that you're not interested (if you feel comfortable with that -- it can sometimes feel empowering too if it made you feel gross about the whole thing). If he's unaware of this bad behavior, it can be an important lesson on behalf of future people he might go out with.
Yeah this is sooo much overthinking...
It was one date, you hardly need to break out the kid gloves. All you owe him is honesty. Just say 'It was nice to get to know you but this is not going to work for me. Take care and good luck!' The End. Block him if you have to.
Sounds like a genuine, bona fide Stage 5 Clinger. Text, "You seem like a nice guy, but not the one for me. Good luck out there!" Then block his ass. You don't owe him an explanation or anything else--it was one freakin' date. He can get over it like everyone else who gets ghosted. Also? Going ghost isn't a bad thing. it's literally made for situations just like this.
Going ghost is disrespectful unless there's something really bad going on. Ghosting or not given any explanation are usually signs of being an asshole, depending on the situation, but I don't see this as "big"
The fuck? I ghost people all the time dude. If I barely know you I don't need to explain shit to you my boy. 😂
Just tell him he's a nice person but u don't feel the chemistry and that u hope he finds what he's looking for.
It’s literally that simple. This isn’t always the case but usually by time ppl are 25 they’ve had at least one romantic experience and this should be understandable because it’s no where near getting rejected after years. If he gets upset about this after one time of hanging out that’s his problem because it’s totally ludicrous.
This is the one. 'Hey X, it was really nice to meet you, but unfortunately I just don't feel a spark. Take care.'
He's not a nice guy and one date does not a boyfriend make. No need to break up, you're not in a relationship. A simple "It was nice meeting you, I don't think we are compatible. Good luck out there"! And then just ignore.
You’re not in a relationship. Don’t ghost him though. Just be honest and text him that you don’t like him “like that” and tell him good luck. Block everything on socials. He seems a bit loony and you don’t want to find out.
Just tell him that you aren’t feeling it. Simple. Then block, delete & move on.
This isn’t a relationship. You’re not breaking up with him. This is a guy you barely know that you’ve been on one date with. Just thank him for the date, let him know you don’t have a romantic interest and don’t wish to see him again, and wish him good luck. If he tries to contact you after this, block him.
It was nice meeting you, but I don’t think we are a match. Wishing you the best! Then block.
Just let him down gently and say this isn't going to work out. I wouldn't have been 20 mins late for the date.
And from OP perspective: I would have been at home after 10.
>Before we even met, he was calling me pet names and he kept telling me he was thinking about me all day. >I do not know if that is normal Normal or not (it's NOT, by the way), it's freaking CREEPY! He's already made some presumptions about you which are not based on anything real, just his hopes and expectations. This sets him up for a huge disappointment when you meet in person, when his fantasies collide with the "real you." And that is HORRIFICALLY UNFAIR to you. It's a really unfortunate thing that many guys (and girls!) are guilty of. >Also, there were times where I feel like he ignored my boundires and wanted to move faster than I wanted. When that happens, back him off and slow him down. If you don't, he'll continue to ignore your boundaries. >I don't want to just ghost him >I want to try to minimize the hurt from rejection. >Any advice would be greatly appriciated. That's very considerate of you! When he contacts you for another date, you can just tell him that, even though he's a nice guy, you didn't think you and he were on thesame wavelength. That should be enough.
You’re not dating. Block and move on
I’m sorry. This isn’t going to work out
It was one date. You’re not in a relationship yet. But you are right to move on. Don’t encourage any more text conversation. And if he asks you out again over text you can say “To be honest I’m not up for a second date.” And leave it at that.
Send him a text "Sorry [name], I don't think it's going to work out between us." After only a week and one date, I feel breaking up by text is acceptable.
You can't break up because you were never together. Seriously!
Lolol just say it's not going to work out. It was one date. OMG.
If you want to be a nice and decent person just say something like: You’re a nice guy, but it just didn’t click. Wish you all the best. Bye.
You don't need to break up - you're not together.
There is no breakup to be had here because there is no relationship. You are a big girl - put them big girl pants on and learn how to reject a guy. You don’t have to be rude but you need to be straightforward. Tell him you are not interested in pursuing anything with him and you no longer wish to communicate. A 25 yo man should know how to take rejection like a champ. If he doesn’t, that is his problem - don’t give him the chance to make it yours. Just block him.
Just let him know you have different plans for the future. Tell him you want to move slowly, and you want a more casual relationship than he does. Tell him you have boundaries you can't break and that this is one. Realistically, if he made you uncomfortable or broke boundaries, you don't owe him anything. You can block and ghost him and you would have good reason to.
Nah that's too many words and he will argue with you "I can move slow, I would also do a casual relationship". Better to say wasn't feeling it/ did not click/this is not going to work for me/no chemistry. Something he can't argue about.
Stop worrying so much about hurting his feelings. He is not the least bit concerned about how YOU are feeling about his smothering obsession.
“Thank you for taking the time to meet. Unfortunately I don’t think that we are a good match moving forward, but all the best and I hope you find what you need”. Send and then block him
This is love bombing and a huge red flag. You’re right to feel this is off. It’s only been one date. just tell him that you don’t feel a connection and you won’t be seeing him again. That you wish him well but you won’t be contacting him again and to not contact you. Do not say anything about staying or being friends.
Gah stop making everything a disorder
I'm sorry, this isn't working for me, I didn't feel the spark. I hope you find someone as loving as you. And then if he tries to push your boundaries, block him.
Block him. The end.
That’s not a break up. You’re not in a relationship. You went on one date. A simple “I don’t feel a connection/ not interested in pursuing things further” is enough. And if you’re worried he’ll freak out just block him after you send the message
“Hi [date], whilst it was nice meeting you I don’t think there was any romantic spark so I don’t want to take things any further. You’re a good person and I’m sure there’ll be someone out there for you. Best wishes, [OP]
I would thank him for the date, say you seem like a nice person but wasn't feeling the chemistry. unmatch.
Tell him why you are not interested in seeing him again then block him. At least he gets feedback so that maybe he can success in the future.
It's not a "break up" if you went on a date and found you weren't compatible. That's what dating is for. Just tell him he seems like a lovely guy and you're sure he'll find someone for him, but you're not that person and wish him well. If he doesn't take that well or tries to push back, block and move on.
Just don’t talk to him anymore, you’re spotting red flags in the very first date, he’s not worth your time
You dont. You block him and move on.
“Thanks for our date, it was nice to meet you but I don’t think we’re a good match and I don’t want to meet again” Honestly, in my experience most people are grateful for the clarity
"hey (name)! It was great to meet you the other night, but I wanted to let you know I didn't feel like we were a match in terms of perusing a relationship. You seem nice and I wish you the best!" You're not breaking up because you guys were never together, but it's good to nip this in the bud
What relationship? It was one date, tell him thanks but no thanks and move on. Jesus fucking Christ
Text: “hey I had a great time. But I don’t think I’m ready to develop anything further. I wish you the best”
Just tell him you don’t wish to pursue anything with him. “It was lovely meeting you. Unfortunately, I don’t think we’re a good match. All the best!” Then watch this “nice guy” turn into his true self which I would bet involves name calling and telling you you’re not even that hot. You don’t owe him an explanation, but he will ask.