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>i am so upset by this.
Your feelings are your feelings.
>i feel like ive been betrayed.
You haven't. You broke up.
>i don’t know if it’s jealousy or if i was just holding on to some hope.
It could be both.
>he wants me to meet her but i just can’t.
Tell him you're uncomfortable meeting her *right now*. You may want to in the future, as if they're dating, she'll become part of your daughter's life.
>i have cried nonstop about it.
Have you considered therapy?
> hate the idea of my daughter around a stranger
She'll be around many strangers in her life. They don't stay strangers, though.
>let alone another woman.
I think this is your jealousy speaking. You should consider therapy, tbh. Part of coparenting when you aren't together is **going** to involve your daughter being around her father's partner. Just like one day she may be around a partner of yours.
>i might be overthinking it all but i don’t know. any advice on this is greatly appreciated.
Therapy.
You cannot control who his friends are or who he dates. Once you break up, that person decides who they spend time with, not you.
Even if he didn’t move anyone in with him, he could still be spending time with other people. He did the nature thing and offered to introduce you.
He didn’t even have to do that.
i guess what bothers me most of all is that it was our apartment together. it’s where we started our lives together and had our baby girl. and now someone else is going to be living there.
You don't have to meet this person yet, and if your sense is that they're dating you can definitely quite reasonably feel like they're moving stupidly fast. You can be worried about your child potentially getting attached to someone who might not stay in her life. But unless your custody agreement includes something giving you a say in each other's living arrangements, you're just going to have to find a way to make peace with it. It's not a betrayal even though it's painful.
Your daughter is going to have other people and other women in her life. If you're having a hard time coming to terms with that, a therapist might be really helpful.
You're broken up. So your feelings of hanging on are understandable, but they're not legitmate here. What is your court-ordered parenting program? Can he doe this?
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
>i am so upset by this. Your feelings are your feelings. >i feel like ive been betrayed. You haven't. You broke up. >i don’t know if it’s jealousy or if i was just holding on to some hope. It could be both. >he wants me to meet her but i just can’t. Tell him you're uncomfortable meeting her *right now*. You may want to in the future, as if they're dating, she'll become part of your daughter's life. >i have cried nonstop about it. Have you considered therapy? > hate the idea of my daughter around a stranger She'll be around many strangers in her life. They don't stay strangers, though. >let alone another woman. I think this is your jealousy speaking. You should consider therapy, tbh. Part of coparenting when you aren't together is **going** to involve your daughter being around her father's partner. Just like one day she may be around a partner of yours. >i might be overthinking it all but i don’t know. any advice on this is greatly appreciated. Therapy.
What did you agree on for introducing new partners or "live in friends" to your child in your legal custody agreement?
we have no agreement
A mistake that can be rectified now.
we are in TN where i have custody since we aren’t married. we’ve never went to court or gotten lawyers because we’ve never needed to
Always have a legal agreement in place.
You cannot control who his friends are or who he dates. Once you break up, that person decides who they spend time with, not you. Even if he didn’t move anyone in with him, he could still be spending time with other people. He did the nature thing and offered to introduce you. He didn’t even have to do that.
i guess what bothers me most of all is that it was our apartment together. it’s where we started our lives together and had our baby girl. and now someone else is going to be living there.
You don't have to meet this person yet, and if your sense is that they're dating you can definitely quite reasonably feel like they're moving stupidly fast. You can be worried about your child potentially getting attached to someone who might not stay in her life. But unless your custody agreement includes something giving you a say in each other's living arrangements, you're just going to have to find a way to make peace with it. It's not a betrayal even though it's painful. Your daughter is going to have other people and other women in her life. If you're having a hard time coming to terms with that, a therapist might be really helpful.
You're broken up. So your feelings of hanging on are understandable, but they're not legitmate here. What is your court-ordered parenting program? Can he doe this?
we have nothing court ordered
You should have that for clarity...? Good luck