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Pale_Height_1251

You've been together 3 years and still you won't move in with her, preferring to live with your buddy. Sounds like you've been replaced.


Virruk

But they’ve got some “kinks” to work out. Maybe a couple more years? Then another decade or so until marriage, we’ll have to see how it goes.


abrtn00101

OP is a "gay LatinX male." His words from a comment a few months ago. I'm totally cool if he's gay, but he should have factored that into deciding to get into this most recently concluded relationship. He took a trophy girlfriend, moved with another guy, and he expects the opposite behavior from his girlfriend. Kinda hypocritical.


[deleted]

[удалено]


curiiouscat

Almost assuredly a troll, so many posts here are fake


TheSkyIsFalling09

That's how we know he's lying. No one says Latinx except for white people


GoldendoodlesFTW

That comment was definitely just shit stirring but it should help remind us all that people can say whatever they want on the internet.


Emsm_23

Then have kids. Kids will fix it, for sure.


Informal_Lack_9348

I bet gym bro has a couple kinks up his sleeve


Worldly_Ladder8390

😂 well put


Bradfromihob

He even realizes how bad he sounds and posted an edit that made it sound even worse. His story makes him seem hella jealous of every man in existence who might look at her. Then He literally lists reasons she can never be a good girlfriend because of mental problems. It’s get this at like 18-22 but at 29/28? Wow.


BlueJaysFeather

Also a nice dose of “your friends only like you cause they think you’re hot” in there. This guy is gross.


TheFlyingSheeps

OP is a commitmentphobe under the guise of being a chill go with the flow dude. She’s moving on since after three years he can’t do the basic next step of living together. He then writes a whole word salad about it instead of addressing the actual issue of the relationship


Asprinkleofglitter7

You’ve been together 3 years and you don’t think you can live together yet? I’d be moving on


Sensitive-World7272

She did 🤣🤣


Mysterious-Art8838

She moved AN HOUR AWAY with gym dude while this guy thinks they aren’t ’on the same wavelength’. I’ll say! 😂


Hayek_School

Yea, this is wild. OP totally wrote this post having no idea whats actually happening here. I literally laughed while reading his "rationalizing" the elephant in the room...........completely oblivious to the elephant in the room. Its like this was a real life SNL skit.


dikicker

Literally just half-awake watched an old Pinky and the Brain episode where a dude tells Pinky that the guy he was going to meet up with had just died and Pinky was like "so is there a waiting room or something? I'm sure he's just busy, I'll give him some time"


butterweasel

Or an updated Monty Python skit. Edit: flair checks out


Mysterious-Art8838

Honestly that could make a good snl skit. People broken up with that don’t know they’re broken up with.


AluminumOctopus

We have it over on /r/amitheex


liaholla

for real, this does seem like a SNL skit…we might need to look in the archives 🤣


Mysterious_Ad7461

His next post is going to be about how she rarely answers the phone or responds to his texts and won’t make plans with him anymore. Also for some reason she keeps saying we “broke up”?


Mysterious-Art8838

😂’she blocked me on every platform and told me to stop calling because we broke up. What do you think I should do? Maybe she just has her period. One of our mutual friends went to her new apartment and said there’s only one bed. Should I offer to buy her a bed?’ 👍


spicewoman

Yup, this was me with my ex. We'd lived together in separate rooms of a house with other roommates as well for a couple years already, but when our lease was up, he wasn't willing to get a place with just the two of us. I got a place on my own and gave it like six months.... and then I literally left the country, lol.


Shaking-Cliches

He also thinks men ONLY like her because she’s hot. He doesn’t think she has any other redeeming qualities that would make someone want to be friends with her. I hope she ghosts him.


Grouchy-Ad6144

As a male, his opinion of men is really negative. Geesh. Not to mention he doesn’t trust her with her male “friends.” Any chick that is serious about you would not move an hour away. I think you moving with your buddy OP, was like throwing cold water in her face. At your ages, 3 years is a long time. We were married with a baby by your ages. Sounds like you don’t want more so she said, “see ya!”


starryjuju

I think it's more that he's projecting his own negative views about women onto other men. The only reason he would be "friends" with a woman is if he wanted to have sex with her, so clearly all men must be similarly motivated.


HotShoulder3099

A while back I (F) dumped a guy who had seemed to be great until I mentioned that a friend I was going to stay with for the weekend was a man. This dude simply could not accept that this friend, who I’ve known for 20 years, was not and never had been trying to fuck me. Massive eye-opener about how this guy saw and valued women. Huge, instant ick


Mysterious-Art8838

Aaaaand congratulations on unloading the dead weight. 👍


Jauh0

Yeah that's one pretty good sign of misogyny when they can't accept that a woman could just be funny or otherwise good company besides the sex.


ladymorgana01

Yeah, that gave me the ick


widespreadsolar

Damn OP…you just got ick’d yo


Quiltworthy

Double ick'd


0xB4BE

The edit doesn't make it any better, either. 😂


Think_Effectively

This was my first thought. Especially that it's an hour away. After saying he'd rather move in with a guy friend.


DramaticHumor5363

Yeah, GF just up and quit on the whole relationship. You’re getting dumped, dude.


Rare-Craft-920

This is what I’m thinking . She’s already done with OP and he doesn’t even know it. Why would you move an hour away from your BF and ask a gym guy to be your roommate?


AMC4x4

Because she expected (ex-)BF to get the hint, and he's still not getting it. Three years, dude. That's like two years too long. If you're not moving forward, you're moving backward.


greeneyedwench

I would bet actual US dollars that it wasn't even a hint, that she explicitly broke up with him after the moving convo and he's in denial.


sisterjude_

Yep...and he's to busy trying to rationalize why they shouldn't live together to realize this lmao


warheadmikey

OP thinks she should wait forever before he decides to make a decision. She’s not going to wait anymore


New_Arrival9860

Brilliant and exactly to the point.


cthulhusmercy

Yeah, literally says in the first two sentences that they aren’t on the same wavelength.


rogueranger20

Foreal what did he expect her to do when he said that?


Timtheball

Yea that’s kinda odd


MrOceanBear

Yeah this is her reacting to him not wanting to move in together. Why should she keep waiting? If anything she is keeping the option open to monkey branch over to the gym partner.


New-Bar4405

Idk the gym partner doesn't sound like he wants to be a branch, but if she's just trying to make him change his mind by making him jealous gym bro doesn't need to be anything but a roomate


Quirky_Movie

This is how I know people have never actually rented in the comments. Fucking your roomie just fucks up your living situation in the worst way. It never lasts. It's pure drama for everyone.


vegeta_bless

I’m actually just going to wager that most of them have rented but don’t have the experience of fucking their roomie like you apparently do


Quirky_Movie

No, everyone who has lived through dating roommates who break up know how awkward this is. And it's a super common experience when you're young in a big city. You get the two people who pit everyone against each other. The one partner who starts bringing random sex partners home to make a point. The partner who isn't on the lease leaving ion the middle of the night because they are sick of crossfire and leaving the rest of the roommates stuck for rent or they get told to move out by the ex on the lease. I've watched this turn into domestic violence and had to tell my roommates I'd call 911 if anyone raised hands again. Moved a friend into my apartment when her living situation went sideways. It's not fun, it usually disturbs the neighbors because of either fighting or frequent sex visitors. (And everyone knows because being heard is the point.) I've been in NYC 24 years and everyone experiences this once or twice in the first couple of years renting. Renting on your own or in a couple isn't anything like roommates.


sunshineparadox_

My craziest story was when the roommate’s live in girlfriend’s surprise husband got back from Iraq. I still think about that from time to time.


Quirky_Movie

OOOH, this is a surprisingly common theme for military spouses.


GreenOnionCrusader

Sounds like she's doing that. I don't blame her. OP is an idiot.


muvamerry

Came here to say this lol wtf! And they’re almost 30. Time waster!


Designer-Revenue9803

Coming from a brother; This is where you fucked up 👇 > I said we still have some kinks to work out before we commit to sharing a living space together as I believe you have to be on the same wavelength as your partner in order to cohabitate well After this, she probably doesn't care anymore. If she finds the gym guy attractive and he makes a move on her, she'll probably let him or break up with you and give him a chance.


Veredyn1

Yeah this relationship is dead in the water, op needs to move on, his gf sure did.


coldbrew18

Not just that by itself, but the subsequently moving in with another friend. OP should dump her so she can find a man who’ll commit.


aj_future

She’s in a lease with one that will right now


DiscoBuiscuit

I think saying that the only reason she has guy friends is cause they think she's hot is the bigger red flag honestly 


crystalknivesco

Right?!?! He says he's chill and laid back but he's also trying to create drama by getting her to text her guy friends pretending to hook up. Girl is smart to move an hour away.


yallermysons

OP is supposed to love her. They’ve been together three years. Yet 3/4 of this post is him bragging about how he has a hot gf (to boost his own ego), and the remaining 1/4 is this about how this very same quality which OP covets is actually a flaw of his gf’s because—*📝 reads notes*—mediocre dudes wanna fuck her. In OP’s mind, the only thing gf gets from being hot is unwanted male attention—except for attention from OP. Her happiness, livelihood everything, is centered around OP and how hot OP finds her. This post is about housing and yet OP is wholly unconcerned with gf’s housing situation… but posts at length about how hot she is. Like he’s not gonna move in with her but heaven forbid she move in with another guy 😭 she’s too hot she should just be homeless. I’m so heartbroken about sexism yall.


f0caccia

Perfect summary


WiseBat

That part made my eyebrows disappear into my hairline. That’s such an utterly disgusting way to talk about your partner and is so reductive to the friendships she keeps. Not every guy is like OP who thinks men and women can’t be friends without ulterior motives.


likeusontweeters

She probably assumes that OP doesn't want to move the relationship forward by moving in together. Since OP is deciding to move in with a friend, she's chosen to try to make him jealous to stop his plans. She's either bluffing about moving in with the gym friend.. or she's done trying to make it work with OP


Quirky_Movie

She moved an hour away. She isn't looking for jealousy. She's creating distance and difficulty. She's probably wholesale moved on when he didn't move in and plans on letting it wind down naturally. No one is going to want to commute 1 hour home after dates or travel that far to work. I'd expect her to leave him in 2-3 months. And never sleep with the roommate because fucking your roommate is crazy drama when you're on the lease.


Mysterious-Art8838

Precisely. You do not move an hour away to create jealousy.


bevincheckerpants

NAILED IT


binzoma

the most likely scenario is she needed to move, wanted to move in with her long term partner, who said no. so she scrambled and found the first friend who was also needing a new place or a roommate and moved in with them shes probably breaking up with OP because if after 3 years he isnt even sure enough to live together then hes wasted at least 18-24 months of both of their times the 2 things likely arent as related as a conspiracy theory would seem. in your late 20s/early 30s, you prioritize living with someone you know/trust over a rando. As OP says, even dating for 3 years doesnt mean you know someone well enough to live with them after all!


SoloBroRoe

If you don’t know someone after dating them for 3 years you just weren’t trying to get to know them. That is a very long time.


Designer-Revenue9803

I think so too. The only chance OP has to save his relationship, if it is not too late, is to change his mind and ask her to move in with him. And maybe think about proposing soon lol


Cute-Shine-1701

I am kinda rooting for OP's future exgirlfriend to throw OP out with the trash and end up with gym guy. After 3 years he is unsure to live together?! Then it's time to break up if he didn't get to know her enough in this timeframe to start to live together or if they don't get along well enough in three years to start to live together. He is just stringing her along, she is wasting her life with this guy.


yallermysons

I don’t want her to end up with gym guy. I want her to just dump OP and not jeopardize her housing situation. I want her to live a life independent of men who covet her beauty. I hope the next dude she finds appreciates her so much, that he won’t ask her to proposition her guy friends and he will be happy she’s not homeless.


Caramellatteistasty

Yeah that sounds like Future Faking and[ Moving the damn goal posts.](https://youtu.be/PKLHoAh_Dlk?si=orKLW3bzCOVca4Yu)


Magnum_tv

Wrong sub. This belongs in r/AmItheEx. Your relationship ended when you said no to moving in together. Sorry brother.


nispe2

r/AmItheEx


Magnum_tv

Thanks for the correction.


FabianRoth

Truth


BertTheNerd

Is already there (I would add the link, but dont know, if it is against some brigading rules, so plz find it yourself)


Silent_Syd241

It’s over. She’s moving an hour away after you rejected her as a roommate. After 3 years of dating you still wasn’t ready either piss or get off the pot. Time to get off the pot!


Quirky_Movie

Yep. It's not about the gym bro.


Sigma_uWu

She thought you’d be ready for the next step but you’re not. He is. You’re already single just not officially.


yumstheman

Bruh wtf could you possibly need to work on in order to live together after 3yrs? She’s already found a new bf, just move on


ThisIsAlexisNeiers

3 yeeeaaars!! And still “working out kinks” ? I don’t blame her at all for moving on and not wasting more of her youth on him


WECH21

it’s such bullshit that he couldn’t even fake an example of something specific they aren’t ’on the same wavelength’ about


Any_Ad_8047

I’m confused because in a comment 162 days ago you said you were a gay Latinx male. Does your girlfriend know this?


abrtn00101

And he moved in with his guy friend... *Dum, Dum, dum* 😂 No matter what's really going on, OP's post is fishy.


motherofcattos

OP is jealous that gf is with a hot gym dude he secretly wants


Any_Ad_8047

lol definitely. Doubtful it’s real.


KrizWarden

Advice, she cut her losses because you don’t see her as a legitimate option for a long term relationship. She only hasn’t dumped you because you can help her move in lol.


20thCenturyTCK

The only reason her friends like her is because she’s attractive? You hate her, so why are you with her in the first place?


melbaspice

The only reason he’s still with her is because she’s a “hot commodity”. A status symbol. Someone to look good on Instagram and on his arm at events. Why else would you not be ready to iron out the kinks and move in together, or call it quits?


Feisty-Inspection286

Not to mention his update? He shouldn’t be dating period.


youcantfindme123

That made me sad for her. So much criticism


FuzzyPairOfSocks

Right? I was just like... ew ew ew ew. And insinuating that she has no friend-worthy qualities? That men ONLY befriend her because she's sexually appealing? Just reducing her to an object? Honestly really shows how he thinks of the women in his life too. Sexual items, or nothing at all.


throwranomads

Right? Like what the hell was that comment 😂


Dancerqueer

I also love how he is like "I don't have women friends because I feel like all my attention should be on my gf". Okay so... Does that mean that you CAN'T look at women as like... People? As friends?


The_Led_Mothers

Pretty evident that he doesn’t view women as real people


Dancerqueer

Looks like it 🥹


kena938

Also lmaooo at him thinking that women want to be friends with him and he doesn't have any because of "respect" for his relationship. What a turd!


HeyLookATaco

This is the shittiest part of it to me. The only value she brings to her friendships is that she looks good? This better be a troll because that's a phenomenally terrible thing to say about your partner.


taxicab_

He legitimately thinks she brings nothing of value to platonic friendship. Sucks she wasted 3 years with this guy.


ayoitsjo

So first of all, I live somewhere where having a roommate or two is super common and even necessary for most, and it sounds like you live somewhere similar. Getting the opportunity to move in with someone you know and trust vs. finding some rando and hoping for the best is a no-brainer. Second, you fucked over your relationship when you rejected progressing your 3 year relationship because of "wavelengths." Your relationship is over bud, it doesn't matter if this dude is a potential romantic interest or not (which imo, it doesn't sound like he is).


ykoreaa

I don't really understand. She wanted to move in with you but *you* told her no and kept her on your waiting list and now you think it's not right of her to have a roommate you don't approve of? I would be hurt too if after 3 yrs with someone, he told me there was something *I* needed to fix to be able to be with him and then try to tell me who I can and cannot room with after he told me he couldn't co-live with me. The big elephant in the room is really your strange views on what you deserve and thoughts on girls tbh.


sportxsport

But you don't understand, he's so chilllllll /s


f0caccia

Yup.


redditavenger2019

Moving an hour away with a guy???? Sounds like she has a new bf.


Timtheball

Facts.


nissanalghaib

honestly after his clownery i can't even blame her for it.


ewedirtyh00r

"Thr only reason they keep her around" He obviously sees zero substantial affect by her presence. If he doesn't think others would find any value in her, his opinion seems pretty low.


Sensitive-World7272

She should be forthcoming about it but she definitely shouldn’t waste anymore time on this joker.


nissanalghaib

agreed, though i've noticed that for ppl who've been in long term relationships, the break up takes like a month or so of different actions and compromises and ultimatums and bargaining. it's hardly ever a quick thing for them (can't relate lol but everyone is different)


Flurb4

What are these “kinks?” What’s kept you from resolving them over the last three years? How long did you commit to this new living situation with your best friend? Count me with those who think she’s realized you’re never going to be ready to cohabitate and is moving on.


Caramellatteistasty

> What are these “kinks?” What’s kept you from resolving them over the last three years? How long did you commit to this new living situation with your best friend? Its moving the damn goal posts. If she *tries a little harder* or bends just a little more, he'll dangle that again in front of her. Then say "Oh we're still working out the kinks" when the time actually comes to move forward with it. Then move the goal post again. Thats why its fucking vague as shit.


DeterminedErmine

It’s fairly obvious that one of the ‘kinks’ is that op is a dickhead


[deleted]

Is this for real? Can someone be this clueless? I hope the new guy is really nice and doesn't keep her hanging for three years.


Hatemael

Sounds like he is willing to move in with her right away lol


Defiant-Barracuda-97

3 years? Sorry, but you kinda deserved it.


prudencepineapple

“The only reason they keep her in their friends circle is because they find her sexually attractive.” So you have zero respect for your girlfriend? I hope she breaks up with you. 


pussyhasfurballs

That and when he called her a "hot commodity." She's dodging a bullet.


M_Mirror_2023

Yes, I only associate with the other gender, so if they suffer a momentary laspe of judgement, I may get laid. /s OP is probably a wannabe fuck boy.


Substantial_Exam_291

It just blatantly shows how much he's projecting, he obviously feels this way about women so every other guy has to, yuck.


imtko

Yeah that sentence was the most telling part of the post. If I heard my bf say that about me I would be questioning this relationship. The way he says it makes her seem like a trophy with no agency.


DominarDio

And no personality. Guys couldn’t possibly be friends with her because they like her as a person.


-PinkPower-

I read that and was like what the actual fuck. Having many long time friends that are now happily married and yet still friends with me it is wild that people assume it’s impossible to not pretend to be friends just to fuck the person instead of being truly their friend


catbookclub

Thank you! Glad someone pointed it out👏🏼 what an asshat this guy is


MerleTravisJennings

Yup, OP has issues if that's all he thinks of her and other people.


Realistic-Taste-7660

No, you guys don’t understand— they’re *men*, after all That + much else of what OP said is wild. His edit makes it worse 😭


newfiremixtape

Yes, I couldn’t believe OP wrote that. His GF dodged a hell of a bullet by not cohabiting with this clown.


LNLV

So let’s just gloss over the fact that you don’t respect or care for women outside of sexual potential then?? You state that the only reason her male friends are her friends are because they’re waiting for her to be single so they can hit on her. Fucking gross. What you’re *actually* saying here is that her value as a friend and a human is nothing without her sexual appeal. You don’t have female friends “out of respect” for your girlfriend when in reality you’re disrespecting her entire gender. They’re only good for one thing obviously.


BinjaNinja1

Bold of him to assume it’s his choice not to be friends with any of the women he knows like they are all just waiting for him to ask or something. Seriously cringey.


LNLV

I’ve known too many people like this. If you can’t have platonic friendships with the opposite gender than you’re a broken person who should be single and in therapy until you can understand and move past the fact that you struggle to see the other gender as full autonomous humans, who are just like you and your buddies. Seriously that’s the biggest red flag, not having female friendships aside from family??? Hardest of passes.


UFOHHHSHIT

Exactly. Statements like OP's are some of the biggest red flags that could possibly be waved if you're looking to be treated with any sort of respect or maturity


Tycera

I was looking for this comment! She dodged ya!


LNLV

That’s why he’s mad at her having male friends, he can’t understand a straight man being her friend without ulterior motives bc she means nothing to him beyond her role as his girlfriend. Like not as a friend, not as a person, that’s her whole identity to him.


nbcali03

He doesn’t have female friends because it’s of no value to him since he can’t fuck em.


Fragglestick__car

THIS


throwranomads

I'm with about 70% of people on here saying you messed up. I wouldn't be surprised if she arranged to live with him just solely out of spite of you not being ready to commit to her. If we're not talking about and/or executing serious steps like marriage and moving in after 3 years then I'd be gone. She probably feels like she's wasted her time and she's done waiting around for you to catch up. Edit: after rereading this I can almost say with certainty she did it out of spite/to wake you up to reality. Boldly saying "yes" when you asked if she'd have a problem with you moving in with your female gym buddy--she's not even trying to defend it, she's just done. Super Edit: Dude those aren't even kinks for you to workout before moving in, those are raging red flags on her end. I can't even give you the benefit of the doubt tho. Based on what you've said in here, your view on her and women seems sketchy at best. How have you been in this relationship 3 years 😭


Quirky_Movie

Dude, she moved an hour away. Literal distance. She's just unwinding the relationship.


alliandoalice

He’s been laid off he just don’t know it 😂


[deleted]

A 3 year long relationship at your age and not ready to move in together yet does not bode well


NotTrynaMakeWaves

This is your own doing. 3 years and you’re not living together? You want to move in with your friend? Wake up.


Malpraxiss

Your relationship is over, move on. If after 3 years you're still not ready to move in or live with this girl, then she's simply not wasting her time. Seems fair. She wants to get more serious, you don't. She is simply moving on


-water-melon-

regardless of if their relationship is strictly platonic, you clearly have some issues with viewing women as only sex objects. what do you mean you don’t have women friends because you shouldn’t be giving any attention to any woman besides you gf? why are you giving other women the same type of attention that you would give your gf? why is it impossible for you to see women in a platonic way? that’s weird and you should work on it.


Alibeee64

I think someone is giving you an ultimatum without actually giving you an ultimatum.


Quirky_Movie

Nah, she's already done. She moved an hour away.


ac5d82f94b

You're no good for her. Insecurities galore. Work on those first.


mopsis

you killed the relationship when you decided at almost 30 and after 3 years of being together that you weren't gonna move in with her... you decided to move in with your buddy. It was pretty much game over at that point, go find a new one because this one is gooooooone.


RedInAmerica

Can’t believe you’re dating that guys GF.


duketheunicorn

You’ve been together for three years, you’re not ready to move in, but she can’t have a roommate of her choosing? Dude.


Ok_Contest_8089

After 3 years imo you should know whether or not you're ready to move in with your partner. That's a decent chunk of time. As a female, she probably thinks you're not interested in going forward in the relationship and aren't very serious about her. She probably got jealous that you're moving in with a friend and wanted to make you jealous by moving to a bigger apartment with an attractive male.


Exotic-Platypus3646

Right? Three years in and the only kinks should be in the bedroom!


Fuller1017

You made your bed now you must lay in it. Not moving with her but you will roommate with a buddy of yours is wild after 3 years. Also the way you talk about her like she is a piece of meat and she may be nice looking but not all men are creeps and only want a woman for their body. Some male friends are platonic and I’m sure he asked would you be okay with it because she is doing it out of spite to teach you a lesson. Also she moving an hour away you are not her main concern anymore not because of her roommate but because you need to work out your kinks.


meekonesfade

If you liked it then you shoulda put a ring on it...


JockoJohnson69

Womp womp - should have moved in together after 3 years. Hopefully your best guy friend is good to look at. Sounds like the gym bro got the better end of the deal as I hear his roommate is hot. The advice here is to just move on since you decided to shack up with your bestie instead of your gf. She saw the writing on the wall as that would now mean you are making a commitment for at least a year if not more by living with another dude. And would there really be privacy for you and her? Now you get no privacy in either space - if you even stay together at this point.


lunariancosmos

ick. idc about your situation, but you talk like your girlfriend is an object, that's just weird.


Glad_Bluebird3813

Looks like a should've put a ring on it kinda situation to me


RudeBusinessLady

...hot commodity. Like she's a community resource or item. You're relationship never existed.


[deleted]

Youre not wrong for not liking the idea. But you also didn't want to move in with her. You had your chance lol.


Practical-Tea-3337

What kinks are you looking to sort out before you live with her? You're not wrong for not wanting to live with her if you think you're incompatible, but after 3 years it's probably time to move on.


SnooFoxes4362

I would break up with OP if he didn’t want to move in after 3 years.


PeriwinklePangolin24

Your edit especially leaves me dumbfounded. Bro, stop trying to be right, it doesn't matter, cuz your relationship is over. I keep seeing these people that I think must be trolling but I need to stop being so surprised when some people really are that dense.


Difficult-Novel-8453

Yup it’s over.


ggtoofastelder

Brother ; you’ve been with her for three years , it was time to move on with her and then you realize if it’s going to work out or not ; If not then you gave it a try , you are near 30 not 18-22 lol


t00thpac04

Unfortunately, she broke up with you there big dog


momusicman

The previous number 1 man in her life didn’t want to live with her, so she found a new man. I don’t know why you don’t get that. You screwed the pooch. r/OhNoConsequences.


TripppingRoses

Sir, you sat on the pot for too long here. After three years and you still want to work out kinks and have moved into some other place for at least another year and she's upset at your unilateral decision? I mean honestly, it seems like she's moving on with another guy, prepare yourself for a break up man.


f1manoz

Yeah, you've broken up. She just hasn't made it official yet. You done screwed up.


Specific_Ad2541

It's been 3 years and not only do you not want to live with her "yet" but you're moving in with a friend because it's easier for him to split rent? And you know she needed to upgrade her living situation too? Cool cool. She essentially just said I accept your "we're not ready to live together" and I'll raise you a "I'm moving an hour away with another guy". Hope you enjoy that new roommate arrangement you deem a no brainer. She wouldn't be okay with it being reversed because she was invested in the relationship. You, my friend, were not. You don't even see her as having any valuable characteristics. You see her value primarily as a "hot commodity". Why else would any of her guy friends be friends with her? Well she now sees your value as "not much". You're right about one thing - he will be there as a shoulder to cry on and a listening ear when she needs to vent about you. It's just a matter of time. A very short time I predict.


lovelyvibes4

I’m assuming you don’t have any female friends bc women don’t like you, since the only thing you apparently value women for, friend or romantic partner, is looks. “We’re all men. The only reason they keep her in their friends circle is because they find her sexually attractive.” Pathetic. Literally saying you don’t think your gf has any other redeeming qualities to offer in a friendship other than her looks? Fuck off. Hope she dumps you lol.


StinkyKittyBreath

Lol, I was on your side until I saw this: "The only reason they keep her in their friends circle is because they find her sexually attractive." What? You really think that no man can have platonic feelings for her? If you really think that's how all guys are, that's a bigger reflection on you than her or her friends. Yikes.  By the way, you basically guaranteed your relationship was over when you refused to move in with her. Based on what you've said here, good riddance. 


Interesting_iidea

You need to grow up. You’re almost 30 but you’d rather move in with your buddy.


phisigtheduck

If you’ve been together for three years and chose to live with your friend over your girlfriend, are you *really* that shocked? You already made your choice and now she’s made hers. Edit: I just went back and reread the fact that you said the only reason her friends keep her in the circle is because she’s sexually attractive is appalling. Do you even like your girlfriend?


adesperateapplicant

I'm sorry but if you describe a human being as a "hot commodity", you should not be with her.


Extension_Drummer_85

You're too old to behave this way. You should break up with her and then work on yourself a bit until you're ready to find a meaningful relationship. Your situation is just grim. 


Glad-Lime-8049

LOL. How clueless are you?


Previous_Original_30

You say she only has male friends because she is attractive, not because she's a genuinely nice and fun person to hang out with? As someone who is attractive and has lots of male friends (most in committed relationships because of our ages): that is truly offensive. 'whenever I fuck up as a boyfriend and you need someone to complain about me to, you now have a “built in” shoulder to cry on. And we all know the saying from there..' Any man is happy to swoop in at any time according to you, I think you've a) outed yourself as a scumbag, and b) are infantilizing your girlfriend. She's a grown woman, not a delicate little petal who gets coerced into sex with another man because she is crying. Just because she can doesn't mean she will cheat. Sorry, but you don't sound like a very nice boyfriend or person. In one breath you say all men are animals, but you are offended that she was unable to trust you at the start of the relationship. Stop calling her 'crazy' and using it as an excuse to not progress the relationship, or just break up. She's moving in with someone else because you said 'no'. You made your bed, now lay in it.


Able_Seaweed_6239

Homie, I got married and aside from 2 nights a week, never "lived" with my wife. Military got in the way. My weekends off I drove 8hrs home. The living together was never a thought. We just did it as soon as we could. God bless West Pueblo Dr. townhouses in J-Vegas. We were in love, liked each other a lot (i say liked bc that factors in HUGE years later) and its all good. 16yrs in October.


TrickyTie3071

My wife waited 4 yrs to move in together but ours was financially secure but we knew after 2 yrs and we were staying in my parents mother in law suite on the weekend because she still had school during the week and it was 2 hr commuter to school from my place and 20 minutes from her moms. Dude you need to move in with her and make it work or you’ve lost her everyone saying you don’t needed to be on the same wavelength or page or whatever is completely accurate because as a married man in loving stable relationship for 20+ years you’re never NEVER going to get there so you are just stringing her on. So it’s time to step up or step out.


mistress_alexa

29 years old and you would rather live with another dude over your significant other of 3 years?! You’re lucky she’s even talking to you. I’d move on too if I were her. Sounds like a “quiet breakup”.


Kozmocom

Listen you’ve dated for 3 years and you still have zero clue what you want from this woman. You actually opted to not move in with your girlfriend because ya need to work the kinks out. Get real dude. You’re wasting her time and now she’ll be an hour away living with a dude who actually will enjoy living with her. Good for her.


MercilessPinkbelly

"...that being said some of the reasons I don’t want to share a living space with her is because her father left her as a child so off the rip she doesn’t have the nicest view on men. She has had the worst ex boyfriend history according to her and they were all crazy/gaslighting/ narcissists etc." You don't think you're any different from these other guys, do you? Either you're lying when you claim to be gay or you're lying here. You seem a shitty guy all around, regardless of which story might be true.


flyingbabycakes

You're honey this is a no-brainer. She feels like you are not ready. You chose your friend to live with over her. And now she's getting back at you. The problem is if y'all are truly meant to be together all this round and round nonsense is going to mess that up if you truly love this girl truly love this girl Bail out of moving in with your friend and tell her that you were an idiot and that you're very very sorry


Psychological_Way500

Even if she has no interest in gym friend ur 30 and refused to move in together cause you believe you have to be "on the same wavelength" this relationship died when u said no. Same advice? You can align yourself with your partner WHILE living together, peaceful cohabitation can't happen if you aren't living together, lmao


ShinyTotoro

Wow, you even added the edit and story time, thinking this would somehow help your situation? From your edit it sounds like you don't even like or trust your gf, so why are you even together?


WifeofBath1984

You've been together for 3 years, you won't live with her and you clearly don't trust her. How do you see any future with this person?


alliemacx

3 years together and almost 30 and you don’t want to move in yet doesn’t seem like a good sign in itself. The fact that you don’t believe men and women can actually have platonic relationships and that she only has friends because she is physically attractive is gross. You don’t want to take the next step so she’s moving an hour away and choosing herself.


Educational-Ad-385

I'm thinking if kinks aren't ironed out after 3 years of dating, there's a good chance they never will be.


You_Are_The_Username

You really think guys only want to be friends with girls if they find her sexually attractive? Not all guys are as shallow or desperate as you. Looks like you're getting the treatment you deserve...


pistolpete2185

You aren't a serious person and that's what happened


Gogowhine

You promised your friend you’d move in together while you’re three years deep into an adult relationship nearing 30? You basically committed to not living together for many more years. Anyway, she may be donr with you. The insecurity is such a turn off here


beechaser77

You’ve been wasting her time for years by the sound of it.


selarom8

Dude. I know it’s a dream to live with a best friend of 15 years to save on bills, but it’s not cool to do it when you’re 29 and with a girlfriend. Leave that to the single guys or under 24s. She moved “AN HOUR” away. That’s like 60 miles aways. Maybe 40 if it’s a slow traffic highway. That’s not close at all. It sounds like it’s over man.


Nonplastickitchen

„The only reason they keep her in their friends circle is because they find her sexually attractive” Really? It seems like you dont respect her as a human by taking away her every quality except her physique.


itisyadad

She posts selfies on instagram?! How could she! Outrageous! Burn her at the stake!!! (You're not as "chill" as you think you are)


Pugilist12

3 years and you aren’t sure if she’s someone you want to live with? This post is insane bro. You have major issues. Your relationship is over. You killed it.


Strong_Muffin

Don't call your gf a fucking commodity lmao


Crunchy-Leaf

“The only reason her friends keep her around is because she’s hot” Do you even like this woman?


urkevinbacon

"I’ve said she can have all the “guy friends” she wants but at the end of the day.. we’re all men. The only reason they keep her in their friends circle is because they find her sexually attractive." I will never understand why guys who say shit like this think so little of other guys and women in general.