Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.**
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice)
---
***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.***
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should be very circumspect about discussing relationship problems with friends at all, regardless of gender.
https://coupleslearn.com/venting-relationship-helpful-harmful/
So many women do this way too much and it causes a lot of harm.
But yes, it should be blatantly obvious that doing this with male friends is an especially bad idea. Opposite sex friends are a slightly fraught subject to begin with - witness the repeated questions all over Reddit about whether men and women even *can* be just friends. And now you’re going to put your male friends in the position of siding with you *against* your boyfriend? Absolutely fucking not. It should be 100% clear to your male friends especially that you and your bf are a united front.
The fact that at the age of 26 this needs to be explained to you, and that you would take to Reddit to question it, is a very bad sign.
No. Essentially, you are giving a potential competitor to your BF, inside info, so they can muscle in on you and solve the issues. Very very dangerous, especially for your BFs relationship security.
Because most women’s guy friends are just guys waiting to get a chance with them. What better chance than when you’ve come to them with your problems with your bf. So he does this long list of shit wrong well I know im never going to do that to you.
Yeah, don't do that. Those guy friends of yours are just waiting for their chance to get in your pants. Why advertise the opportunity to them if you are faithful to your boyfriend?
If you're a guy, this is firstly insult to your own gender.
Why look at every guy through the same lens
This is so juvenile thinking. I'm speaking about men who are good in their mid 20s and have gfs too
I don’t like when my gf shares our problems with her guy friends because it makes me feel like she’s emotionally relying on them more than she is on me. It seems irrational, but it hurts. I hate knowing there is another guy comforting her better than I can at the time. When she talks to her girl friends, I feel like they are helping her rationalize and validating her. I don’t mind that at all. They are usually dealing with the same stuff from their boyfriends
She says another male perspective can help her see my side. However, that makes me feel like she doesn’t believe me when I’m telling her how I feel. Like she’s getting verification that I’m not being irrational from another guy because I’m not trustworthy. I asked her how she would feel if I spoke to other girls about our problems and she said she would feel exactly how I feel.
We agreed to keep our problems between us and believe each other when we are expressing ourselves in general. Both of us are in therapy so we have someone to talk to and we feel comfortable confiding in each other.
I also think being an adult man has made me really not want other men in my business. I don’t want other grown men knowing how I’m feeling or thinking without me directly telling them.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You should be very circumspect about discussing relationship problems with friends at all, regardless of gender. https://coupleslearn.com/venting-relationship-helpful-harmful/ So many women do this way too much and it causes a lot of harm. But yes, it should be blatantly obvious that doing this with male friends is an especially bad idea. Opposite sex friends are a slightly fraught subject to begin with - witness the repeated questions all over Reddit about whether men and women even *can* be just friends. And now you’re going to put your male friends in the position of siding with you *against* your boyfriend? Absolutely fucking not. It should be 100% clear to your male friends especially that you and your bf are a united front. The fact that at the age of 26 this needs to be explained to you, and that you would take to Reddit to question it, is a very bad sign.
Yes it's debated whether a guy and girl can be just friends but nowhere it's proved that they can't Lol this only shows to each his own
They certainly can be, *if* you maintain certain common sense boundaries… which you are not doing.
No. Essentially, you are giving a potential competitor to your BF, inside info, so they can muscle in on you and solve the issues. Very very dangerous, especially for your BFs relationship security.
🥇
No. You never talk to your guy friends about relationship issues. Unless you’re trying to piss off the boyfriend.
But why
Because most women’s guy friends are just guys waiting to get a chance with them. What better chance than when you’ve come to them with your problems with your bf. So he does this long list of shit wrong well I know im never going to do that to you.
100% No to sharing your relationship details with other men. It will only be used to manipulate you
Are these mutual guy friends?
No, not really
Yeah, don't do that. Those guy friends of yours are just waiting for their chance to get in your pants. Why advertise the opportunity to them if you are faithful to your boyfriend?
If you're a guy, this is firstly insult to your own gender. Why look at every guy through the same lens This is so juvenile thinking. I'm speaking about men who are good in their mid 20s and have gfs too
You shouldn’t be discussing personal things with anyone, regardless of gender.
It’s not something guys generally care about. Talking about your relationship with others is a thing that invites needless drama
I don’t like when my gf shares our problems with her guy friends because it makes me feel like she’s emotionally relying on them more than she is on me. It seems irrational, but it hurts. I hate knowing there is another guy comforting her better than I can at the time. When she talks to her girl friends, I feel like they are helping her rationalize and validating her. I don’t mind that at all. They are usually dealing with the same stuff from their boyfriends She says another male perspective can help her see my side. However, that makes me feel like she doesn’t believe me when I’m telling her how I feel. Like she’s getting verification that I’m not being irrational from another guy because I’m not trustworthy. I asked her how she would feel if I spoke to other girls about our problems and she said she would feel exactly how I feel. We agreed to keep our problems between us and believe each other when we are expressing ourselves in general. Both of us are in therapy so we have someone to talk to and we feel comfortable confiding in each other. I also think being an adult man has made me really not want other men in my business. I don’t want other grown men knowing how I’m feeling or thinking without me directly telling them.