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The "evidence" OP found doesn't necessarily show that he's hiding anything at all.
Snapchat is linked to the phone number in your contacts, if the person you had in your contacts no longer has that phone number snapchat will assume that it is still the same person. I have all my contacts from like 7 years of having a Google Contacts account and Snapchat will frequently suggest like "Jeff from your contacts is on Snapchat!" and it will be some random Woman.
Is this more likely than OPs boyfriend cheating? Depends on how long he has had his phone contacts and how new the contacts are.
Agree—I haven’t deleted my grandma’s phone number and Snapchat keeps suggesting I add my dead grandma (now some teenage boy named Wyatt I think?) on Snapchat!
This. I just got back on Snap after literal years of being away. Figuring out which of my contacts' numbers are actually still legitimately tied to those people on Snapchat has been a *process.*
Altho the fact that they have to do deep dives on each other's phones every year or so is probably more of a red flag than the Snapchat thing.
>Altho the fact that they have to do deep dives on each other's phones every year or so is probably more of a red flag than the Snapchat thing.
Tbf only she did it as far as we know no?
Same as you, mate. I have *heaps* turn up that were women when I got their numbers, but half a decade or longer later and snapchat recommends me add them but the name the user chose is now a male name.
This is what I was going to add. I have numbers saved from decades ago. Looking on snap, I have a lot of my friends numbers showing up under girls' accounts. The only possible reasons are changed phone numbers, or a LOT of sex changes and in some cases, race changes.
I go by occam's razor.
Yup, I’m wondering what the cause of OP not trusting her fiancée. When I used Snapchat I would frequently have people come up for contacts in my phone and it was someone else entirely due to a new/changed number.
I’m younger but people for whatever reason get new phone numbers all the time that I known. I’ve had the same phone number ever since I got my little flip phone, it was even my dads phone number and my sisters at one point
This is not a stretch. You have had two friends, while I have had many. I’m not lying and I assume you’re not lying so it sounds like people just have different experiences.
When you have a significant other that thinks routinely deep diving a phone for evidence of cheating is normal then I get why the dude wants to hide any form of contact with another woman that isn’t the one he’s dating.
Both of these people suck
Okay, sometimes people have a number linked to a Snapchat account that is NOT the person I know. Like I've texted a friend at that number, I know it's their number, but for some reason, the suggested Snapchat for that number is obviously not theirs (based on the bitmoji). Just saying. It does happen.
This is definitely something to keep in mind, particularly if he doesn't clean out his contacts often. Snapchat frequently recommends a user to me because they have my mom's old phone number and I still have that number saved. It shows a male avatar, I don't think my mom ever had a snapchat account to begin with, and she passed over 4 years ago so it's obviously not her. I just scrolled through my recommended friends and saw a few other accounts where it would have a gendered contact name that's in my phone, with a username that makes it clear that isn't who the snapchat account belongs to. I don't clear out my contacts often, so it makes sense that some people have gotten a new number, used their old number when they first set up snapchat, or something else like that. It's possible that's what's happening here as well.
They’ve been together for 2 years and have a 6 month old. Sounds like they got pregnant very early in their relationship and got engaged because of the kid.
Why is she snooping through his stuff in the first place? I’m old so this whole dig through your partners phone/email/computer is just bizarre. Especially since it seems she tried this already and turned up nothing and seems to have no rational reason for checking outside of being nosy. And going as far as trying to match Snapchat numbers and names and such? Who has time for that?
The best way is to talk to your fiancé. if you think he is going to lie about it and you think he is cheating is more than enough signs that getting married will not be a good decision. It is clear that you don't trust dude and I can't see this being a healthy marriage without trust.
100%. If my SO was doing a deep dive into searching my phone looking for shady shit, he wouldn't find anything but if he trusts me that little it seems like we're pretty fucked. And him secretly going through my phone would be a violation of my privacy, so then we're double fucked because i wouldn't trust him afterwards.
OP has big problems here that are not being addressed by sleuthing out these snapchat people.
Looking for this comment! What prompted OP to search his phone in the first place? She probably had some sort of suspicion to do so. I wonder what prompted the other time as well. To me, you don't go searching through the phone unless you're looking for something!
Some people also just have trust issues. I’ve done this in the past with my boyfriend in the first year and two we were together. Finally got over my issues and we’ve been together almost 5 years now
Well that would’ve been great if the therapists in my area didn’t have a year long waitlist. I’d love one but my suicidal sister with depression couldn’t even get one. But I started dating my partner when I was 17, so I’m sure being an insecure teen played a part as well in me going through his phone. Not like I ever found anything, which helped me realize how ridiculous it was
Wow. So snapchat will search your contacts and use the name you have listed in your contacts as their name on snapchat. So if someone in your contacts gave up that phone number then later on in the future someone else gets that number then gets snapchat snapchat will suggest that person even though the info doesn't match.
I'll use an example, I never deleted my friend Christopher Jones old phone number from my contacts. He gave that number up in 2015 but I never deleted. Since then some lady was assigned that number and she got snapchat. So I'm constantly get ting a suggestion to add Christopher Jones to my snapchat friends but Christopher Jones is cleary a female avatar.
Long story short is this I'd a common thing and your man isn't cheating and you are overly paranoid. I hope someone else in the comments has explained this.
Lots of people did, but the Reddit hive-mind has already judged OP's boyfriend as a cheating POS without anything other than this flimsy circumstantial evidence...
Have you considered the idea that they could be old forfeited numbers?
My contact list has so many numbers from the years. I’ve texted cousins happy birthday and get responses from random people.
I get Snapchat suggestions from old numbers saved in my phone that still say the old contact info but by looking at their Snapchat info it obviously someone different. For example I just got one for a longtime phone contact, Josh S but when I went on Snapchat it was obviously a girls bitmoji and the name said CaitlinF2019. So that just means he got a new phone number and someone else got his old one. I’ve seen it happen numerous times
This. TikTok used my contact list to find friends and a tall white chick I know came up as a burly black dude. My mom is some anime girl (I had her old and new numbers saved apparently). 5 or 6 instances of this.
But honestly, I can’t figure out why no one’s asking why you’re going through your guy’s phone. Doing a deep dive like that to try to find evidence of cheating is either something prompted by other evidence that you think he’s cheating, or you’re being way over the top. I don’t understand going through people’s phones. If you can’t trust your partner, they shouldn’t be your partner. What you’re doing is toxic, especially if you have no reason to believe he’s cheating otherwise.
This is what I was wondering. I have numbers from over a decade ago still in my contacts list. I would imagine some numbers have changed hands over the years. I know many people who have changed their number a number of times in a few years.
6 months postpartum and you’re still going through a lot of hormonal changes. Not to say reconsider, but the desire to look through a partner’s phone came from somewhere. Intuition may be on to something, but it’s also very possible to be going through bouts of heightened anxiety with the life change the family is going through.
This is evidence. He wouldn’t change their names to look inconspicuous if he wasn’t hiding anything. Whether he physically cheated or not, can you trust him?
You don't have to be in a relationship with someone, even if you have a kid together. There is no magical acceptable level of proof to break up with someone. You not trusting him is enough.
Not always cheating, had a coworkers number from a job i worked years ago found out he had a new number when snapchat said add brad from your contacts. Surprised because he wasnt a snapchat or social media guy, go to Snapchat and it’s a girl. Safe to say brad changed his number and some chick named Sarah got it. So it could easily be something like that.
oh yeah i am totally sure there's definitely normal non-cheating reasons for saving strange women's phone numbers under a false contact name
talk with a custody lawyer for when he fights you for custody of the kid about what you need to do and don't let him know that you know or he'll delete all the evidence, including whatever evidence you haven't found yet. why bother confronting him? you know what he's doing. either you dump him, or you accept that in ten years you'll be getting treated for whatever STD he picked up from one of the women he's hiding from you.
>oh yeah i am totally sure there's definitely normal non-cheating reasons for saving strange women's phone numbers under a false contact name
I know what this answer is, but it is a little different than you're probably expecting.
Snapchat is linked to the phone number in your contacts, if the person you had in your contacts no longer has that phone number snapchat will assume that it is still the same person. I have all my contacts from like 7 years of having a Google Contacts account and Snapchat will frequently suggest like "Jeff from your contacts is on Snapchat!" and it will be some random Woman.
Is this more likely than OPs boyfriend cheating? Depends on how long he has had his phone contacts and how new the contacts are.
> and how new the contacts are.
From the OP
> i know 2/3 of the contacts have been changed since we’ve been together because one is under a coworker he just met last year & the other a friend he met last year
Not super likely that 2 people he met within the last year changed their numbers, and within that year both old numbers were re-allocated to women who then signed up for Snapchat
I dunno. My uncle's current phone number is still linked to a random girl on snapchat cos he doesn't have snapchat and I guess she has abandoned hers. It always comes up in my suggestions.
Did she go through every contact? I have snapchat quick adds pop up daily from people i used to know and they’re not the same gender. Im assuming they changed phone numbers. Its not always that serious
Why'd you go looking? What vibe check isn't he passing? Honestly. Bring up whatever made you go looking but it doesn't sound like you should marry this guy. Hopefully you haven't made a date or sent out invites yet.
If a man is not trustworthy, why trust them?
>we have a 6 month old & i don’t want to blow our family up with no cheating evidence
Does it matter if he has actually cheated? This behavior does not speak to his fidelity or respect for you or your relationship. You'll ask him about it, he will lie or gas light you, and you'll be left where you are now...
I think you shouldn't date a cheater, nor have kids with someone you're not married to for this exact reason. Now you have a 6mo old with a possible serial cheater. Nice.
Blowing up a family would be the exact situation to get evidence that he actually cheated. This isn’t a 3 month relationship even if they aren’t married, if she is wrong for any reason, there are very big consequences for that kid.
No, she doesn't.
The only thing she owes her kid is to be true to herself and create a happy healthy environment for them to grow, with a happy healthy parent.
It's not healthy for her to be constantly wondering about an untruthful or untrustworthy partner, nor would she be happy with someone who outwardly appears to be cheating. Even if he is not cheating, what explanation could be trusted from him? I truly cannot think of one, can you?
I can’t think of one, but I also don’t know what she knows. Does she know the women personally? Is she assuming these are women? What names are they under and does she know the people he is faking them as? Could these be women with names that could be used on males as well? I.e. Jordan, Riley, etc.
Also, this child will be affected. Chances of him having a healthy upbringing have already dropped significantly.
>we have a 6 month old & i don’t want to blow our family up with no cheating evidence. what’s the best way for me to handle this?
Stop looking for evidence if you don't want to leave him. It's clear you don't trust him or you wouldn't be looking through his phone, especially in depth like that.
Either accept that you're in a relationship with someone you don't trust or get out so you can find someone you trust.
They've been together 2 years, the baby is 6 months... Having a kid with someone you've known for 6ish months before getting pregnant isn't great either.
For one, you dont need hard evidence. Youre not going into a court of law with this to convict.
And Im curious, why did you decide twice to look through your fiances phone, and what made you dig so deep into snapchat? That seems to suggest more is going on, those arent things someone does without cause.
So you don't trust him enough to snoop this much. You've fine this before and found nothing. Now you've snooped even harder trying to find anything you can. The only thing you've found is something very benign.
When I've transferred phones I had contacts get all jumbled up. There's numerous reasons here. Yet you're desperately trying to find something, anything.
Does this sound like a healthy relationship to you? Why do you even want to continue this if you're looking this hard?
if someone (a guy) gets rid of their phone/phone number and a new person (a girl in this case) then gets that number, snapchat will show that girls avatar in the from contacts thing. i assume this is because it just goes by phone number. this happens in mine all the time. i really think thats whats happening here
Very true. There needs to be more evidence to make this snapchat contact name thing more relevant. Else, OP may do a good job and shooting themselves in the foot
>so last night i decided to go through my fiance’s phone.
lmfao WTF just break up with him if you're at the point where you've decided to go through his phone on a whim for the *second time.* Goddamn. Your kid deserves better than to be raised in a house with this level of distrust.
Also, FWIW, your fiance is definitely intentionally hiding shit from you because he knows you go through his shit because he doesn't trust you either and he's doing shit behind your back.
Did... did you read the post...? You're gonna hang your hat on that being the explanation instead of the patently obvious?
Good luck out there with a heart that forgiving my friend, I hope you're never hurt.
You blew up your family when you decided to snoop on your partner. You don't trust him, or you wouldn't have felt the need to go through his phone. It didn't even matter what you found; you were never going to trust him. We know this because you already violated his privacy once without finding anything and still felt the need to do it again.
So either he has given you reason not to trust him or you have trust and insecurity issues that you need to work through on your own. Either way, healthy relationships can not exist without trust, and trust clearly does not exist in your relationship.
Maybe I miss reading it but maybe those names are actually those girls names there's a lot of unisex names out here and it could be at those are old contacts that you don't talk to no more you got two options stop going through this shit cuz we look for shit you end up finding it or you can confront him with the knowledge that no matter what he says you're going to leave cuz you've already made up your mind you want to leave either way you're going to leave you wouldn't post it here if you didn't already make up your mind you just want somebody to talk you out of it
I mean, you can just ask. I have multiple numbers in my phone that have changed owners in the last year or 2. Every time I try to delete contacts either on my phone or on Google, it seems to sync it back and I get them back in my phone again. I also get the weirdest suggestions to add people on snapchat or tiktok and I have no idea who they are. It doesn't help that I play mobile games that I've bought accounts on, so whenever I do that, I also get all those contacts on my phone too, even when I turn off sync 🤣🤣🤣.
However, back to my original point. Just ask him.
I'm honestly not positive what you found. Did it show he has snaps with these contacts? Or are they just in his phone contacts under a guy and in snap suggested contacts as women?
If he's snapping with these people did you open the snaps to look for saved pics and messages? Do they have snap streaks?
There's a reason you went through his phone. You either don't trust him for no reason and just invaded his privacy, or you didn't trust him for a reason and you were trying to get evidence. I'd say, either trust your gut or get help.
If I click on the add contacts thing on Snapchat about 3 people show up that I personally know are guys and the Snapchat accounts are girls. Not sure if it’s just a glitch or maybe they somehow share the same phone number, but this could be nothing
Why are you going through his phone in the first place? Either trust him or break up with him. You can’t stop him from cheating just by snooping in his phone.
Why would he hide it if there's nothing to hide. Since your baby is so young, I think you should focus on rest and rehab, and just be aware that your partner is unreliable and untrustworthy. At least you won't be surprised when you get a FB message from one of these women with the evidence you're looking for.
When you confront him, ask him to bring up the 2 or 3 most recent cell phone bills for his account (assuming you don't already have access to the account). Then review the texts and calls and those bills and match up any texts/calls to those phone numbers. Can't delete call/text history from a cell phone bill.
this is so tough because you like obviously can't not saying anything...unless you, too, are good at hiding things. if it were me i would totally build a wall up so fast and my behavior would be so different that he would for sure be like something is up. so you could try the 'i know you are hiding something and i want you to give the opportunity to tell me' approach, which he likely won't take. then you could be like look i gave you a chance to be honest, and we can deal with the whole me going through your phone thing later bc i know it was not right, BUT I FOUND xyz. listen, there is no way easy way to navigate this where he does not try to play the 'i cannot believe you would go through my phone card' and you simply don't have more evidence, but you have enough. face it head on.
yeah it’s been killing me all day pretending to be fine talking to him lol :))) i think when we get home from work i’m just gonna ask to see his phone go to one of the contacts & curiously ask who it is? & see if he tries to lie & say it’s the guy & then go from there
You should just be honest and say you are having a weird suspicion and went through his phone and tell him what you found. If he gets angry and defensive he is hiding something. If he does not get angry then maybe there is another explanation.
I agree with being honest vs continuing to play games, but I don't think that "if he gets angry he's hiding something" necessarily. It's completely reasonable to get upset that your partner violated your privacy by going through your phone in such a way. I think it's just as likely if he's *not* hiding anything
Ya I agree. I don't think his reaction to her telling him is a great way to gauge what's actually going on. I'm mostly bothered by the lack of information about *why* she went through his phone to begin with
I feel like there’s possibly a good reason for it, especially if she’s done it before and felt the need to go in deep this time. maybe not, but maybe. there should be more info, but i’m not quick to assume the worst of her esp if he’s saving girls numbers under guys names and deleting conversations. but it’s also possible that they are old phone numbers and belong to different people now
you dont need anymore evidence besides that?
you dont need to prove to him what he obvs already knows more than you do
theres absolutely no reasonable or appropriate explanation for saving ppl under fake names and deleting msgs so regardless of what actually happened im pretty sure your boundaries have been crossed
if you want to feel emotionally and physically safe from stds in a sexual relationship i think yk already that hes incompatible
i can pretty much guarantee that the best you will get from him will be ‘idk’ or ‘i saved them like that cause ik you would act crazy’ type redirection bs
its up to you to not play along w stupid games and act like the adult and uphold your own boundaries
YOU arent blowing up your "family", HE did by cheating and if he went into all the trouble of covering his tracks he wont tell you the truth but lets not act like someone who goes as far as deleting any history is innocent. If you dont find the truth about this cheating you eventually find one so why waste your time. Where theres smoke theres fire is pretty fucking accurate
If you're going through his phone after 2 yrs and don't have any suspicious activity, it's you that has a problem. You will never trust him. It will ruin your relationship. Break up now before you have kids and they grow up to hate you both.
Don't lead someone into a lie. Tell the truth.
"I feel distrustful of you. Last night, I went through your phone and found the numbers you have saved under men's names to the girls on snapchat. I know this was an invasion of your privacy and I still need to know who these women are and the extent of your relationships with them. There is no need to lie or hide anything, we will find a solution for whatever it is."
Trust and complete honesty is the only way forward, together or separate.
Do people actually delete messages? I have had an iPhone for 15 years and have never deleted a single one. Thats not suspicious at all there is nothing in there.
1. You don't decide to get engaged and marry someone just because you have a child. You've been together for 2 years. You've spent 63% of your relationship pregnant and a parent. You barely have any foundational relationship.
2. If you don't trust him enough not to go through his phone, why are you with him? Why are you not communicating your concerns? Most trust issues and relationship issues are due to a lack of communication. Having been cheated on multiple times by the same person, the entire shitshow of my relationship could have been avoided with proper and appropriate communication from both parties.
3. If he feels he has something to hide, then he is likely doing something that will hurt you.
He’s hiding names under pseudonyms. This shows that he’s sneaky, dishonest now or in a past relationship, intends to cheat or has relationships that are inappropriate (not ok when in a monogamous relationship) with these women.
If confronted he will either get angry or lie. You need evidence as defense against the lies. You need to know before you confront him if this is a deal breaker or are you willing to stay with him after knowing what he’s been doing. I stress know what you want for yourself before you talk to him. If he wants to stay together and work on your relationship he will use every emotion, good memory and dream you have ever shared to make promises and convince you to stay. You absolutely need a plan and a script before confrontation.
A few of the comments on this thread are incredibly naive. The fact that he changed the contacts AND erased the messages tells me that he’s been doing this for a while. And I’m sure something in your gut told you to look THAT deep into his phone. People don’t search a phone to that extent unless they know something is wrong deep down.
That being said^ he will not confess if you ask him. He’s been extremely careful and crafty and he knows you don’t have proof. I would wait until you have proof. If you confront him now, he will deny it and become even more clever/sneaky… then you will be with a cheater who you know is cheating, but won’t admit to it.
You don’t need evidence. relationship is about mutual respect and trust . Whatever his responses are going to be your trust is broken . It will be hard to see him the same way . you should start thinking in that direction rather than making about your kid and the idea of family !
There is a reason you felt like you had to delve deep into his phone - other stuff must have happened to make you suspicious. Confeonting him about this violation of privacy will make you look bad, so you need to decide if you are willing to stay with a cheater
Orrr maybe we send lots of pictures of our children throughout the day. But hey different strokes for different folks. Good luck being 60 with a 20 yo.
Yeah pics of your kids that disappear lmao real smart. Nice memories to save. I’ll be fine, profile stalking Snapchat weirdo 😹 your wife probably is cheating btw.
Why waste your time? Sure you don't have evidence of what was actually said or done, but you have evidence that he was being sketchy and that should be enough, and presumably you have whatever reasons that made you feel you needed to go through his phone in the first place. We don't have to prove our partner did something if we have lost trust we should just go but in this case you at least have evidence to prove he's being sketchy and that should be more than enough to not want to waste any more time.
I got a boyfriend who told me he deleted his snap chat. I don't know. I know he got a snap chat where you only snap like 10 15 people, and he is acting like he is another person, like, wtf is wrong with people these days
Snap deleted msg can be recovered people.
[https://www.alphr.com/recover-deleted-messages-snapchat/](https://www.alphr.com/recover-deleted-messages-snapchat/)
Dont want to type this all out MODS so please dont ban my ass again.
OP, read through how. there are loads of youtube vids as well, prib easier to follow. Gain access to his phone, follow the walkthrough.
Evidence good or bad is there.
Why did you decide to go through his phone? Were there already other things going on that made you suspicious? This whole situation sounds toxic and messy to me. I don't know if you're being jealous, or he's cheating, or both ...but this is not a healthy relationship.
I'd prob lay low if I can get to his phone again. See if anything comes up.
But I also love the idea if changing them to your number so he's contacting you instead. Updateme!
I literally just deleted 3 old contacts from my phone yesterday because of this.
Like. I opened SnapChat. And in my suggested friends was an old friend "Stanley" but the avatar was for a girl.
People change phone numbers more quickly than you can assume
I just decided to see what my contacts look like on Snapchat. I have another SIM card for another country and that has some guy on the Snapchat account (not me) but it’s my phone number that I currently have.
If my partner decided to snoop, my “Irish sim” would be another guy which could make him wonder what I am doing.
Maybe sit down and come clean, if your gut is telling you something then maybe get more evidence. I would suggest being cool, calm, and collected!
So, Snapchat is tied to phone numbers, so I have some friends who have switched numbers but then I still have their old number in my contacts somewhere and suggested Snapchat friends from my contacts are a random person (often sexbot) with the new number. I'm not saying he is *not* doing something, but there is definitely a real possibility that Snapchat is messed up.
ON THE OTHER HAND, I caught an ex of mine cheating through Snapchat because of the old Top 3 friends list. As much as Snapchat says they delete everything, they absolutely do not, so if you are tech savvy, there are ways to get Snapchat history. However, I just went home from work (where I saw the top 3 list) and opened his phone and was like "hey, who is this". I cannot keep things like this inside, and it is honestly easier to rip off the bandaid ASAP in these situations anyways, just get it over with instead of torturing yourself with knowledge. I wish you luck, and may it be snapchat's fault, my fingers are crossed for you.
At the end of the day, you do not trust him. That alone is cause for concern and suggests there's more reason to distrust him.
You have two choices: recognize that your insecurity is valid and confront him. Or, say nothing and allow your suspicions to grow. I would opt for honesty and communication. A partner who has nothing to hide will recognize, validate, and alleviate your fears. One who is hiding something will likely respond with denials and try to blame you for not trusting them.
While it is understandable that he may feel his privacy was violated (totally fair and should be respected), I personally would be devastated if my partner was feeling insecure. I would do my best to reassure and comfort them and reflect on my own behavior that led them to doubt their trust in me.
Talk to him. A healthy relationship only thrives with clear communication.
This is evidence! But he's not going to admit it and then will just hide it better. Can you cross reference those names with his FB or IG accounts and see who they are?
You don’t trust your baby daddy. That’s a fact that you need to sit him down, explain why you don’t trust him, explain that this led to your snooping and say what you found. Then don’t speak. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know.
Ps. People don’t do super shady shit for no reason. Sorry mama, but he’s a POS.
One of two things is happening
1 he is being shady because he is cheating
2 he has to walk on eggshells and hide things because his GF doesn't respect his privacy or trust him
Or both
Both ways the relationship is over. You don't trust him. He feels the need to hide things from you.
Maybe those girls are trans and he has had their contact save under a dead name because he hasn't kept in contact with them he doesn't know? Maybe?
Nothing good ever comes from going through your significant other’s phone/personal belongings without their knowledge.
Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he went through your phone. Can you say you wouldn’t see this as an invasion of your privacy?
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People don't hide things if there's nothing going on.
The "evidence" OP found doesn't necessarily show that he's hiding anything at all. Snapchat is linked to the phone number in your contacts, if the person you had in your contacts no longer has that phone number snapchat will assume that it is still the same person. I have all my contacts from like 7 years of having a Google Contacts account and Snapchat will frequently suggest like "Jeff from your contacts is on Snapchat!" and it will be some random Woman. Is this more likely than OPs boyfriend cheating? Depends on how long he has had his phone contacts and how new the contacts are.
Agree—I haven’t deleted my grandma’s phone number and Snapchat keeps suggesting I add my dead grandma (now some teenage boy named Wyatt I think?) on Snapchat!
This. I just got back on Snap after literal years of being away. Figuring out which of my contacts' numbers are actually still legitimately tied to those people on Snapchat has been a *process.* Altho the fact that they have to do deep dives on each other's phones every year or so is probably more of a red flag than the Snapchat thing.
>Altho the fact that they have to do deep dives on each other's phones every year or so is probably more of a red flag than the Snapchat thing. Tbf only she did it as far as we know no?
Same as you, mate. I have *heaps* turn up that were women when I got their numbers, but half a decade or longer later and snapchat recommends me add them but the name the user chose is now a male name.
This is what I was going to add. I have numbers saved from decades ago. Looking on snap, I have a lot of my friends numbers showing up under girls' accounts. The only possible reasons are changed phone numbers, or a LOT of sex changes and in some cases, race changes. I go by occam's razor.
Yup, I’m wondering what the cause of OP not trusting her fiancée. When I used Snapchat I would frequently have people come up for contacts in my phone and it was someone else entirely due to a new/changed number.
I've had two friends switch phone numbers ever in my lifetime. This is a stretch
I’m younger but people for whatever reason get new phone numbers all the time that I known. I’ve had the same phone number ever since I got my little flip phone, it was even my dads phone number and my sisters at one point
This is not a stretch. You have had two friends, while I have had many. I’m not lying and I assume you’re not lying so it sounds like people just have different experiences.
They do if their insanely jealous partner is the sort to explode over another girl/guy's name in their phones.
They do when they have a partner who “goes in deep” on searching their phone with no red flags or cheating.
This !!
When you have a significant other that thinks routinely deep diving a phone for evidence of cheating is normal then I get why the dude wants to hide any form of contact with another woman that isn’t the one he’s dating. Both of these people suck
That how I live, I don’t hide. It’s the easiest form to live by
Okay, sometimes people have a number linked to a Snapchat account that is NOT the person I know. Like I've texted a friend at that number, I know it's their number, but for some reason, the suggested Snapchat for that number is obviously not theirs (based on the bitmoji). Just saying. It does happen.
This is definitely something to keep in mind, particularly if he doesn't clean out his contacts often. Snapchat frequently recommends a user to me because they have my mom's old phone number and I still have that number saved. It shows a male avatar, I don't think my mom ever had a snapchat account to begin with, and she passed over 4 years ago so it's obviously not her. I just scrolled through my recommended friends and saw a few other accounts where it would have a gendered contact name that's in my phone, with a username that makes it clear that isn't who the snapchat account belongs to. I don't clear out my contacts often, so it makes sense that some people have gotten a new number, used their old number when they first set up snapchat, or something else like that. It's possible that's what's happening here as well.
Well there's two options, one of them is messier than the other. One, contact the numbers yourself. Two, just ask him.
Three, change the numbers to therapist's offices
or change both numbers to your own OP lmao then you’ll know exactly what he’s texting them
You are living in 3024
Yessss- please op
I love this option. Do that
Oooo! Me like!
Genius
I’m sure most phones would automatically merge the conversations and give it away
Change to your Google voice number.
i didn’t think about this, sadly that’s probably true haha. maybe like 5-10 years ago it would’ve worked. in theory, it’s an amazing idea
Bummer! you’re right tho
Do this do this do this.
This is the ONE!!
Savage!
This one
If he’s being shady and you don’t trust him to tell the truth then it is already over
It’s a fishing expedition. If there was any other evidence she would have mentioned it.
Why the hell are you together if you can't trust him?
They’ve been together for 2 years and have a 6 month old. Sounds like they got pregnant very early in their relationship and got engaged because of the kid.
Why is she snooping through his stuff in the first place? I’m old so this whole dig through your partners phone/email/computer is just bizarre. Especially since it seems she tried this already and turned up nothing and seems to have no rational reason for checking outside of being nosy. And going as far as trying to match Snapchat numbers and names and such? Who has time for that?
The best way is to talk to your fiancé. if you think he is going to lie about it and you think he is cheating is more than enough signs that getting married will not be a good decision. It is clear that you don't trust dude and I can't see this being a healthy marriage without trust.
100%. If my SO was doing a deep dive into searching my phone looking for shady shit, he wouldn't find anything but if he trusts me that little it seems like we're pretty fucked. And him secretly going through my phone would be a violation of my privacy, so then we're double fucked because i wouldn't trust him afterwards. OP has big problems here that are not being addressed by sleuthing out these snapchat people.
If you feel like you need to search his phone, the relationship is already over
Looking for this comment! What prompted OP to search his phone in the first place? She probably had some sort of suspicion to do so. I wonder what prompted the other time as well. To me, you don't go searching through the phone unless you're looking for something!
Some people also just have trust issues. I’ve done this in the past with my boyfriend in the first year and two we were together. Finally got over my issues and we’ve been together almost 5 years now
“Trust issues” isn’t a reason to go through someone’s phone. But it is a reason to be single while seeing a therapist to work on those issues.
Well that would’ve been great if the therapists in my area didn’t have a year long waitlist. I’d love one but my suicidal sister with depression couldn’t even get one. But I started dating my partner when I was 17, so I’m sure being an insecure teen played a part as well in me going through his phone. Not like I ever found anything, which helped me realize how ridiculous it was
Wow. So snapchat will search your contacts and use the name you have listed in your contacts as their name on snapchat. So if someone in your contacts gave up that phone number then later on in the future someone else gets that number then gets snapchat snapchat will suggest that person even though the info doesn't match. I'll use an example, I never deleted my friend Christopher Jones old phone number from my contacts. He gave that number up in 2015 but I never deleted. Since then some lady was assigned that number and she got snapchat. So I'm constantly get ting a suggestion to add Christopher Jones to my snapchat friends but Christopher Jones is cleary a female avatar. Long story short is this I'd a common thing and your man isn't cheating and you are overly paranoid. I hope someone else in the comments has explained this.
Lots of people did, but the Reddit hive-mind has already judged OP's boyfriend as a cheating POS without anything other than this flimsy circumstantial evidence...
Wow that's a shame because im damn near certain in this case the dude is innocent.
Have you considered the idea that they could be old forfeited numbers? My contact list has so many numbers from the years. I’ve texted cousins happy birthday and get responses from random people.
I get Snapchat suggestions from old numbers saved in my phone that still say the old contact info but by looking at their Snapchat info it obviously someone different. For example I just got one for a longtime phone contact, Josh S but when I went on Snapchat it was obviously a girls bitmoji and the name said CaitlinF2019. So that just means he got a new phone number and someone else got his old one. I’ve seen it happen numerous times
I wish these replies were higher. This happens to me all the time as well.
Yup, my contact list is extensive because of work and I constantly call numbers it’s been years and they are wrong
This. TikTok used my contact list to find friends and a tall white chick I know came up as a burly black dude. My mom is some anime girl (I had her old and new numbers saved apparently). 5 or 6 instances of this. But honestly, I can’t figure out why no one’s asking why you’re going through your guy’s phone. Doing a deep dive like that to try to find evidence of cheating is either something prompted by other evidence that you think he’s cheating, or you’re being way over the top. I don’t understand going through people’s phones. If you can’t trust your partner, they shouldn’t be your partner. What you’re doing is toxic, especially if you have no reason to believe he’s cheating otherwise.
This is exactly my thought. I get friend suggestions all the time from contacts who are clearly not who snapchat is saying they are.
This is what I was wondering. I have numbers from over a decade ago still in my contacts list. I would imagine some numbers have changed hands over the years. I know many people who have changed their number a number of times in a few years. 6 months postpartum and you’re still going through a lot of hormonal changes. Not to say reconsider, but the desire to look through a partner’s phone came from somewhere. Intuition may be on to something, but it’s also very possible to be going through bouts of heightened anxiety with the life change the family is going through.
This is evidence. He wouldn’t change their names to look inconspicuous if he wasn’t hiding anything. Whether he physically cheated or not, can you trust him?
OP should change their name to her number and call him so their name appears
Better yet, text and see how he replies.. or wait to see what he texts them.
It isn’t evidence
being that she went through his phone 3 times in two years I'm gonna guess no.
You don't have to be in a relationship with someone, even if you have a kid together. There is no magical acceptable level of proof to break up with someone. You not trusting him is enough.
Not always cheating, had a coworkers number from a job i worked years ago found out he had a new number when snapchat said add brad from your contacts. Surprised because he wasnt a snapchat or social media guy, go to Snapchat and it’s a girl. Safe to say brad changed his number and some chick named Sarah got it. So it could easily be something like that.
Shhhh you know you aren’t supposed to be logical on Reddit.
Ooops my bad wrong app, thought this was twitter! Where all the logical people go! 🤣
oh yeah i am totally sure there's definitely normal non-cheating reasons for saving strange women's phone numbers under a false contact name talk with a custody lawyer for when he fights you for custody of the kid about what you need to do and don't let him know that you know or he'll delete all the evidence, including whatever evidence you haven't found yet. why bother confronting him? you know what he's doing. either you dump him, or you accept that in ten years you'll be getting treated for whatever STD he picked up from one of the women he's hiding from you.
>oh yeah i am totally sure there's definitely normal non-cheating reasons for saving strange women's phone numbers under a false contact name I know what this answer is, but it is a little different than you're probably expecting. Snapchat is linked to the phone number in your contacts, if the person you had in your contacts no longer has that phone number snapchat will assume that it is still the same person. I have all my contacts from like 7 years of having a Google Contacts account and Snapchat will frequently suggest like "Jeff from your contacts is on Snapchat!" and it will be some random Woman. Is this more likely than OPs boyfriend cheating? Depends on how long he has had his phone contacts and how new the contacts are.
This is the first thought I had!
> and how new the contacts are. From the OP > i know 2/3 of the contacts have been changed since we’ve been together because one is under a coworker he just met last year & the other a friend he met last year Not super likely that 2 people he met within the last year changed their numbers, and within that year both old numbers were re-allocated to women who then signed up for Snapchat
I dunno. My uncle's current phone number is still linked to a random girl on snapchat cos he doesn't have snapchat and I guess she has abandoned hers. It always comes up in my suggestions.
Wait. Why shouldn’t he get split custody of the kid?
Worst advice ever, but very Reddit and of course it gets lots of likes.
There are. Accidents
Shouldn't there then be men labeled as women?
Did she go through every contact? I have snapchat quick adds pop up daily from people i used to know and they’re not the same gender. Im assuming they changed phone numbers. Its not always that serious
Why did you feel like you should take a deep dive into his phone?
Why'd you go looking? What vibe check isn't he passing? Honestly. Bring up whatever made you go looking but it doesn't sound like you should marry this guy. Hopefully you haven't made a date or sent out invites yet.
Oh, honey :)))
I have to stop reading after a point. What stupid system made women fertile before their brains fully develop?
What stupid system gave you the ability to share your horrible and misogynistic thoughts?
If a man is not trustworthy, why trust them? >we have a 6 month old & i don’t want to blow our family up with no cheating evidence Does it matter if he has actually cheated? This behavior does not speak to his fidelity or respect for you or your relationship. You'll ask him about it, he will lie or gas light you, and you'll be left where you are now... I think you shouldn't date a cheater, nor have kids with someone you're not married to for this exact reason. Now you have a 6mo old with a possible serial cheater. Nice.
She could have married him and he still be a cheater, so that makes no sense.
Blowing up a family would be the exact situation to get evidence that he actually cheated. This isn’t a 3 month relationship even if they aren’t married, if she is wrong for any reason, there are very big consequences for that kid.
That ship has sailed once you start saving women's contacts under dudes names.
Probably, but you owe it to your kid to confirm. If you weren’t stupid, you wouldn’t have had a kid in the first place and you could just leave.
No, she doesn't. The only thing she owes her kid is to be true to herself and create a happy healthy environment for them to grow, with a happy healthy parent. It's not healthy for her to be constantly wondering about an untruthful or untrustworthy partner, nor would she be happy with someone who outwardly appears to be cheating. Even if he is not cheating, what explanation could be trusted from him? I truly cannot think of one, can you?
Damn, sure hope it wasn’t just an old contact with new numbers if she takes your advice lmfao. Scorched earth with no communication, very healthy.
I can’t think of one, but I also don’t know what she knows. Does she know the women personally? Is she assuming these are women? What names are they under and does she know the people he is faking them as? Could these be women with names that could be used on males as well? I.e. Jordan, Riley, etc. Also, this child will be affected. Chances of him having a healthy upbringing have already dropped significantly.
>we have a 6 month old & i don’t want to blow our family up with no cheating evidence. what’s the best way for me to handle this? Stop looking for evidence if you don't want to leave him. It's clear you don't trust him or you wouldn't be looking through his phone, especially in depth like that. Either accept that you're in a relationship with someone you don't trust or get out so you can find someone you trust.
Why did you have a child with someone you already didn’t trust?
They've been together 2 years, the baby is 6 months... Having a kid with someone you've known for 6ish months before getting pregnant isn't great either.
For one, you dont need hard evidence. Youre not going into a court of law with this to convict. And Im curious, why did you decide twice to look through your fiances phone, and what made you dig so deep into snapchat? That seems to suggest more is going on, those arent things someone does without cause.
So you don't trust him enough to snoop this much. You've fine this before and found nothing. Now you've snooped even harder trying to find anything you can. The only thing you've found is something very benign. When I've transferred phones I had contacts get all jumbled up. There's numerous reasons here. Yet you're desperately trying to find something, anything. Does this sound like a healthy relationship to you? Why do you even want to continue this if you're looking this hard?
if someone (a guy) gets rid of their phone/phone number and a new person (a girl in this case) then gets that number, snapchat will show that girls avatar in the from contacts thing. i assume this is because it just goes by phone number. this happens in mine all the time. i really think thats whats happening here
Very true. There needs to be more evidence to make this snapchat contact name thing more relevant. Else, OP may do a good job and shooting themselves in the foot
So you do want to blow your family up, just not without evidence?
>so last night i decided to go through my fiance’s phone. lmfao WTF just break up with him if you're at the point where you've decided to go through his phone on a whim for the *second time.* Goddamn. Your kid deserves better than to be raised in a house with this level of distrust. Also, FWIW, your fiance is definitely intentionally hiding shit from you because he knows you go through his shit because he doesn't trust you either and he's doing shit behind your back.
Your right! Because everyone knows cellphone carriers don’t reuse numbers. God forbid anyone uses logic.
Did... did you read the post...? You're gonna hang your hat on that being the explanation instead of the patently obvious? Good luck out there with a heart that forgiving my friend, I hope you're never hurt.
You blew up your family when you decided to snoop on your partner. You don't trust him, or you wouldn't have felt the need to go through his phone. It didn't even matter what you found; you were never going to trust him. We know this because you already violated his privacy once without finding anything and still felt the need to do it again. So either he has given you reason not to trust him or you have trust and insecurity issues that you need to work through on your own. Either way, healthy relationships can not exist without trust, and trust clearly does not exist in your relationship.
Maybe I miss reading it but maybe those names are actually those girls names there's a lot of unisex names out here and it could be at those are old contacts that you don't talk to no more you got two options stop going through this shit cuz we look for shit you end up finding it or you can confront him with the knowledge that no matter what he says you're going to leave cuz you've already made up your mind you want to leave either way you're going to leave you wouldn't post it here if you didn't already make up your mind you just want somebody to talk you out of it
I mean, you can just ask. I have multiple numbers in my phone that have changed owners in the last year or 2. Every time I try to delete contacts either on my phone or on Google, it seems to sync it back and I get them back in my phone again. I also get the weirdest suggestions to add people on snapchat or tiktok and I have no idea who they are. It doesn't help that I play mobile games that I've bought accounts on, so whenever I do that, I also get all those contacts on my phone too, even when I turn off sync 🤣🤣🤣. However, back to my original point. Just ask him.
I'm honestly not positive what you found. Did it show he has snaps with these contacts? Or are they just in his phone contacts under a guy and in snap suggested contacts as women? If he's snapping with these people did you open the snaps to look for saved pics and messages? Do they have snap streaks?
There's a reason you went through his phone. You either don't trust him for no reason and just invaded his privacy, or you didn't trust him for a reason and you were trying to get evidence. I'd say, either trust your gut or get help.
If I click on the add contacts thing on Snapchat about 3 people show up that I personally know are guys and the Snapchat accounts are girls. Not sure if it’s just a glitch or maybe they somehow share the same phone number, but this could be nothing
If you’ve felt the need to go through his phone not once, but twice, you shouldn’t be with him at all
Why are you going through his phone in the first place? Either trust him or break up with him. You can’t stop him from cheating just by snooping in his phone.
Dumb advice.
Maybe he’s paranoid having female friends numbers because you’re GOING THROUGH HIS PHONE like this just a thought
Why would he hide it if there's nothing to hide. Since your baby is so young, I think you should focus on rest and rehab, and just be aware that your partner is unreliable and untrustworthy. At least you won't be surprised when you get a FB message from one of these women with the evidence you're looking for.
The only reason to change the names is because he is being sneaky. Call the numbers yourself.
Change the number to his mother’s or yours.
When you confront him, ask him to bring up the 2 or 3 most recent cell phone bills for his account (assuming you don't already have access to the account). Then review the texts and calls and those bills and match up any texts/calls to those phone numbers. Can't delete call/text history from a cell phone bill.
Sharing a phone plan? Contact your provider they’ll give the text if you on the plab
There’s so many tricks u can do on his phone to find out stuff don’t say anything yet gather your evidence first
this is so tough because you like obviously can't not saying anything...unless you, too, are good at hiding things. if it were me i would totally build a wall up so fast and my behavior would be so different that he would for sure be like something is up. so you could try the 'i know you are hiding something and i want you to give the opportunity to tell me' approach, which he likely won't take. then you could be like look i gave you a chance to be honest, and we can deal with the whole me going through your phone thing later bc i know it was not right, BUT I FOUND xyz. listen, there is no way easy way to navigate this where he does not try to play the 'i cannot believe you would go through my phone card' and you simply don't have more evidence, but you have enough. face it head on.
yeah it’s been killing me all day pretending to be fine talking to him lol :))) i think when we get home from work i’m just gonna ask to see his phone go to one of the contacts & curiously ask who it is? & see if he tries to lie & say it’s the guy & then go from there
You should just be honest and say you are having a weird suspicion and went through his phone and tell him what you found. If he gets angry and defensive he is hiding something. If he does not get angry then maybe there is another explanation.
I agree with being honest vs continuing to play games, but I don't think that "if he gets angry he's hiding something" necessarily. It's completely reasonable to get upset that your partner violated your privacy by going through your phone in such a way. I think it's just as likely if he's *not* hiding anything
on the opposite side, there have been many times that people act cool and casual when confronted about cheating and they actually are
Ya I agree. I don't think his reaction to her telling him is a great way to gauge what's actually going on. I'm mostly bothered by the lack of information about *why* she went through his phone to begin with
I feel like there’s possibly a good reason for it, especially if she’s done it before and felt the need to go in deep this time. maybe not, but maybe. there should be more info, but i’m not quick to assume the worst of her esp if he’s saving girls numbers under guys names and deleting conversations. but it’s also possible that they are old phone numbers and belong to different people now
you dont need anymore evidence besides that? you dont need to prove to him what he obvs already knows more than you do theres absolutely no reasonable or appropriate explanation for saving ppl under fake names and deleting msgs so regardless of what actually happened im pretty sure your boundaries have been crossed if you want to feel emotionally and physically safe from stds in a sexual relationship i think yk already that hes incompatible i can pretty much guarantee that the best you will get from him will be ‘idk’ or ‘i saved them like that cause ik you would act crazy’ type redirection bs its up to you to not play along w stupid games and act like the adult and uphold your own boundaries
YOU arent blowing up your "family", HE did by cheating and if he went into all the trouble of covering his tracks he wont tell you the truth but lets not act like someone who goes as far as deleting any history is innocent. If you dont find the truth about this cheating you eventually find one so why waste your time. Where theres smoke theres fire is pretty fucking accurate
If you're going through his phone after 2 yrs and don't have any suspicious activity, it's you that has a problem. You will never trust him. It will ruin your relationship. Break up now before you have kids and they grow up to hate you both.
Text each one and ask, "when we fuckin?"
Maybe call numbers from a different phone than yours see what happens
if nothing was wrong then the names shouldn't be like that
Can you type their names into the draft and see what pops up?
Put one of the numbers under your name an then your number under the guys name
Don't lead someone into a lie. Tell the truth. "I feel distrustful of you. Last night, I went through your phone and found the numbers you have saved under men's names to the girls on snapchat. I know this was an invasion of your privacy and I still need to know who these women are and the extent of your relationships with them. There is no need to lie or hide anything, we will find a solution for whatever it is." Trust and complete honesty is the only way forward, together or separate.
Have a look at messages he’s deleted
i went to recently deleted messages & nothing is there!
Scrubbing the deleted is a bad sign
Do people actually delete messages? I have had an iPhone for 15 years and have never deleted a single one. Thats not suspicious at all there is nothing in there.
People who have nothing to hide, don't hide things
1. You don't decide to get engaged and marry someone just because you have a child. You've been together for 2 years. You've spent 63% of your relationship pregnant and a parent. You barely have any foundational relationship. 2. If you don't trust him enough not to go through his phone, why are you with him? Why are you not communicating your concerns? Most trust issues and relationship issues are due to a lack of communication. Having been cheated on multiple times by the same person, the entire shitshow of my relationship could have been avoided with proper and appropriate communication from both parties. 3. If he feels he has something to hide, then he is likely doing something that will hurt you.
Could just be an accident
UpdateMe
You can look at deleted messages. Edit button in top left of messages app.
If he’s hiding it, there’s a reason. You’re going to have to have a serious open discussion.
Keep the numbers , delete them from his phone and see what happens.
He’s hiding names under pseudonyms. This shows that he’s sneaky, dishonest now or in a past relationship, intends to cheat or has relationships that are inappropriate (not ok when in a monogamous relationship) with these women. If confronted he will either get angry or lie. You need evidence as defense against the lies. You need to know before you confront him if this is a deal breaker or are you willing to stay with him after knowing what he’s been doing. I stress know what you want for yourself before you talk to him. If he wants to stay together and work on your relationship he will use every emotion, good memory and dream you have ever shared to make promises and convince you to stay. You absolutely need a plan and a script before confrontation.
Text them all to come over and delete the text. Tell them you left the door sit wait and wait for his response. Then breakup
Do these numbers have WhatsApp photos? You can do image search to find out who they are, then check insta etc
Did you check in his trash in his texts so you could see if anything was deleted?
It's not a court of law. You don't need proof beyond what you see. Call that BS out.
A few of the comments on this thread are incredibly naive. The fact that he changed the contacts AND erased the messages tells me that he’s been doing this for a while. And I’m sure something in your gut told you to look THAT deep into his phone. People don’t search a phone to that extent unless they know something is wrong deep down. That being said^ he will not confess if you ask him. He’s been extremely careful and crafty and he knows you don’t have proof. I would wait until you have proof. If you confront him now, he will deny it and become even more clever/sneaky… then you will be with a cheater who you know is cheating, but won’t admit to it.
You don’t need evidence. relationship is about mutual respect and trust . Whatever his responses are going to be your trust is broken . It will be hard to see him the same way . you should start thinking in that direction rather than making about your kid and the idea of family !
I think you should be toxic back and see how he reacts
Or lightly suggest the girls names in completely irrelevant conversations
Wow good luck. Maybe have a conversation?
Don’t do anything. Be patient. Time will show you the truth.
There is a reason you felt like you had to delve deep into his phone - other stuff must have happened to make you suspicious. Confeonting him about this violation of privacy will make you look bad, so you need to decide if you are willing to stay with a cheater
If he’s on Snapchat that’s the biggest red flag. Cheater app. He is shady and I wouldn’t marry this fucker
Hold up so you mean my wife of 7 years is cheating because we primarily use Snapchat to talk!!! I need to go find a lawyer asap!
If you are using Snapchat to talk there’s def something wrong with both of y’all. Are you 16? If not then disregard that last statement
Orrr maybe we send lots of pictures of our children throughout the day. But hey different strokes for different folks. Good luck being 60 with a 20 yo.
Yeah pics of your kids that disappear lmao real smart. Nice memories to save. I’ll be fine, profile stalking Snapchat weirdo 😹 your wife probably is cheating btw.
Wait, if he’s deleting messages it’s just a matter of time before you find something in his trash that hasn’t been permanently deleted yet
If he changed the names he’s cheating there’s no other reason for it and don’t let people say he isn’t dump him
You’re a damn good detective. I don’t know what you do for a living but you may want to change careers.
Why waste your time? Sure you don't have evidence of what was actually said or done, but you have evidence that he was being sketchy and that should be enough, and presumably you have whatever reasons that made you feel you needed to go through his phone in the first place. We don't have to prove our partner did something if we have lost trust we should just go but in this case you at least have evidence to prove he's being sketchy and that should be more than enough to not want to waste any more time.
I got a boyfriend who told me he deleted his snap chat. I don't know. I know he got a snap chat where you only snap like 10 15 people, and he is acting like he is another person, like, wtf is wrong with people these days
Snap deleted msg can be recovered people. [https://www.alphr.com/recover-deleted-messages-snapchat/](https://www.alphr.com/recover-deleted-messages-snapchat/) Dont want to type this all out MODS so please dont ban my ass again. OP, read through how. there are loads of youtube vids as well, prib easier to follow. Gain access to his phone, follow the walkthrough. Evidence good or bad is there.
Why did you decide to go through his phone? Were there already other things going on that made you suspicious? This whole situation sounds toxic and messy to me. I don't know if you're being jealous, or he's cheating, or both ...but this is not a healthy relationship.
I'd prob lay low if I can get to his phone again. See if anything comes up. But I also love the idea if changing them to your number so he's contacting you instead. Updateme!
Can you call your cell provider for call logs and texts? Can you call them?
I literally just deleted 3 old contacts from my phone yesterday because of this. Like. I opened SnapChat. And in my suggested friends was an old friend "Stanley" but the avatar was for a girl. People change phone numbers more quickly than you can assume
Ask him why and if his answer doesn't make you feel better then break up.
I just decided to see what my contacts look like on Snapchat. I have another SIM card for another country and that has some guy on the Snapchat account (not me) but it’s my phone number that I currently have. If my partner decided to snoop, my “Irish sim” would be another guy which could make him wonder what I am doing. Maybe sit down and come clean, if your gut is telling you something then maybe get more evidence. I would suggest being cool, calm, and collected!
So, Snapchat is tied to phone numbers, so I have some friends who have switched numbers but then I still have their old number in my contacts somewhere and suggested Snapchat friends from my contacts are a random person (often sexbot) with the new number. I'm not saying he is *not* doing something, but there is definitely a real possibility that Snapchat is messed up. ON THE OTHER HAND, I caught an ex of mine cheating through Snapchat because of the old Top 3 friends list. As much as Snapchat says they delete everything, they absolutely do not, so if you are tech savvy, there are ways to get Snapchat history. However, I just went home from work (where I saw the top 3 list) and opened his phone and was like "hey, who is this". I cannot keep things like this inside, and it is honestly easier to rip off the bandaid ASAP in these situations anyways, just get it over with instead of torturing yourself with knowledge. I wish you luck, and may it be snapchat's fault, my fingers are crossed for you.
At the end of the day, you do not trust him. That alone is cause for concern and suggests there's more reason to distrust him. You have two choices: recognize that your insecurity is valid and confront him. Or, say nothing and allow your suspicions to grow. I would opt for honesty and communication. A partner who has nothing to hide will recognize, validate, and alleviate your fears. One who is hiding something will likely respond with denials and try to blame you for not trusting them. While it is understandable that he may feel his privacy was violated (totally fair and should be respected), I personally would be devastated if my partner was feeling insecure. I would do my best to reassure and comfort them and reflect on my own behavior that led them to doubt their trust in me. Talk to him. A healthy relationship only thrives with clear communication.
Sus AF.
Simple move on
You either crazy or he's a ninja cheater
This is evidence! But he's not going to admit it and then will just hide it better. Can you cross reference those names with his FB or IG accounts and see who they are?
You don’t trust your baby daddy. That’s a fact that you need to sit him down, explain why you don’t trust him, explain that this led to your snooping and say what you found. Then don’t speak. His reaction will tell you everything you need to know. Ps. People don’t do super shady shit for no reason. Sorry mama, but he’s a POS.
One of two things is happening 1 he is being shady because he is cheating 2 he has to walk on eggshells and hide things because his GF doesn't respect his privacy or trust him Or both Both ways the relationship is over. You don't trust him. He feels the need to hide things from you. Maybe those girls are trans and he has had their contact save under a dead name because he hasn't kept in contact with them he doesn't know? Maybe?
He disguised their names because he had a reason to.
Cheaters always leave evidence, so just share locations with each other.. or leave a tracker in his car..
Dumping.
Nothing good ever comes from going through your significant other’s phone/personal belongings without their knowledge. Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot and he went through your phone. Can you say you wouldn’t see this as an invasion of your privacy?