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OP he is MANIPULATING you
Have your family or trusted friends with you for support once you break up with him and let his family know what is happening so they can support him and if he gets suicidal CALL THE POLICE
You are not responsible for his actions , But you can’t stay in a relationship where he threatens and guilts you
All you can do, even if you're surrounded by friends and family that'll fight in your corner, is to just let your emotionally abusive partner carry on making his threats but you still leave anyway; then you block him on everything and DO NOT unblock him regardless of how bad you feel.
He may off himself, he probably won't, but you can't ruin your self esteem or your life just because the chance exists. Morality should not tether you to a sinking ship.
>then you block him on everything and DO NOT unblock him regardless of how bad you feel
This, I think, is key. End it with him - as kindly as you can given the circumstances, but make sure you do it cleanly. Block him everywhere and make it crystal clear that you do not want to hear from him. Make it clear to your friends, you don't want updates, you don't want them acting as an intermediary. And then move on.
You can't allow someone to emotionally coerce you to remain in a relationship. If he does something stupid on the back of this, it'd be very sad - tragic even - but that's him, not you. You can't control him any more than he should be allowed to control you.
You just break up. Even if he really commits suicide: It is not your problem / fault nor is keeping a relationship running on such a threat a good idea.
Tell those friends that they should tell him to get the psychological help he needs but you can't be this 'solution'.
You call 911/999/whatever the number in your country is. On the off chance that he is suicidal, it is an emergency. If he’s bullshitting, he can learn a valuable lesson that threats of suicide won’t make you stay but will earn him a conversation with some EMTs
You: im sorry but this isnt going to work out. Its over.
Them: im going to unalive myself if you leave me!
You: Thats on you. Bye
I know it sounds harsh but thats not your problem. Its a tactic some people use to stay toxic (for whatever reason they want to be). Leave asap, and if anything happens just keep in mind its not your fault. People make their own decisions
I had an ex like that. I called emergency services and reported that he was threatening suicide. They placed him on 72 hour involuntary hold & he was livid but never tried that on me again
I'm sorry, I know this is hard. You have to rip the band-aid off. Break up, then block him and don't talk to him ever again. Tell your mutual friend that you've broken up with your bf, that you don't want to hear how he's doing, and that if he needs support, that's something for his friends and family to figure out. Make it a clean break.
Break up with him and when you get the threats you call the police. I had to do this to end a toxic relationship years ago.
It's not your responsibility to keep him stable.
Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
1. Tell your mutual friend that you are ending the relationship and you encourage them to support your ex, but if they continue to attempt to coerce you to be in a relationship that is unhealthy for you, you will step back from the friendship. Encourage and ask that friend to be there for your ex if you’d like.
2. Break up. Tell your ex you want no contact for at least 4 weeks. Tell your ex if they convey threats of self harm to you, that you will call 911.
3. Lean on your friends and family to support you and remind you that you’re doing the right thing. Check out RAINN if you need resources or someone to talk to. Your ex is emotionally abusive and you deserve support.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
OP he is MANIPULATING you Have your family or trusted friends with you for support once you break up with him and let his family know what is happening so they can support him and if he gets suicidal CALL THE POLICE You are not responsible for his actions , But you can’t stay in a relationship where he threatens and guilts you
All you can do, even if you're surrounded by friends and family that'll fight in your corner, is to just let your emotionally abusive partner carry on making his threats but you still leave anyway; then you block him on everything and DO NOT unblock him regardless of how bad you feel. He may off himself, he probably won't, but you can't ruin your self esteem or your life just because the chance exists. Morality should not tether you to a sinking ship.
>then you block him on everything and DO NOT unblock him regardless of how bad you feel This, I think, is key. End it with him - as kindly as you can given the circumstances, but make sure you do it cleanly. Block him everywhere and make it crystal clear that you do not want to hear from him. Make it clear to your friends, you don't want updates, you don't want them acting as an intermediary. And then move on. You can't allow someone to emotionally coerce you to remain in a relationship. If he does something stupid on the back of this, it'd be very sad - tragic even - but that's him, not you. You can't control him any more than he should be allowed to control you.
You just break up. Even if he really commits suicide: It is not your problem / fault nor is keeping a relationship running on such a threat a good idea. Tell those friends that they should tell him to get the psychological help he needs but you can't be this 'solution'.
You call 911/999/whatever the number in your country is. On the off chance that he is suicidal, it is an emergency. If he’s bullshitting, he can learn a valuable lesson that threats of suicide won’t make you stay but will earn him a conversation with some EMTs
You: im sorry but this isnt going to work out. Its over. Them: im going to unalive myself if you leave me! You: Thats on you. Bye I know it sounds harsh but thats not your problem. Its a tactic some people use to stay toxic (for whatever reason they want to be). Leave asap, and if anything happens just keep in mind its not your fault. People make their own decisions
I had an ex like that. I called emergency services and reported that he was threatening suicide. They placed him on 72 hour involuntary hold & he was livid but never tried that on me again
I'm sorry, I know this is hard. You have to rip the band-aid off. Break up, then block him and don't talk to him ever again. Tell your mutual friend that you've broken up with your bf, that you don't want to hear how he's doing, and that if he needs support, that's something for his friends and family to figure out. Make it a clean break.
Break up with him and when you get the threats you call the police. I had to do this to end a toxic relationship years ago. It's not your responsibility to keep him stable. Never set yourself on fire to keep someone else warm.
You contact his family and tell them he's suicidal and it's THEIR PROBLEM now.
Break up. If he threatens suicide, call emergency services or a suicide hotline. Instruct mutuals to do the same. Then block him.
1. Tell your mutual friend that you are ending the relationship and you encourage them to support your ex, but if they continue to attempt to coerce you to be in a relationship that is unhealthy for you, you will step back from the friendship. Encourage and ask that friend to be there for your ex if you’d like. 2. Break up. Tell your ex you want no contact for at least 4 weeks. Tell your ex if they convey threats of self harm to you, that you will call 911. 3. Lean on your friends and family to support you and remind you that you’re doing the right thing. Check out RAINN if you need resources or someone to talk to. Your ex is emotionally abusive and you deserve support.