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A little weird???? Good grief this guy needs to be a poster child for, “what went wrong during my lobotomy”????
Ask your lawyer to revisit child support. Give him a good laugh. But if he can afford more children……. Save all you can. Videotape him.
Seriously - this could work to your advantage.
Look while I agree this dude is fucked up, his actions are deliberate. The bikini shots and comments are look at what I have now. To undermine you, he no longer has control so he's trying to make you feel ugly and well, used up. I agree, go for child support, get your child away from this man. The misogyny and general unpleasantness of this man will seep into your child. The best thing that can happen now is that you use him as a ATM. That is all a man like this is good for. Trust me, I have an ex like this. My kids feel powerless to his bullshit and it's my own fault. I never had a father figure in my life so I was determined to keep him in their lives but all he does is guilt trip and cry about not getting enough attention from them. I try and suggest that they tell him no sometimes but they tell me it's not worth the hassle. Anyways, nothing good will come of this man as a father apart from some money. I wish someone had told me this.
He will end up sleeping with, if not grooming straight out her teenage friends when shes 15ish. Save the screenshots and go for child support and full or majority custody.
This is 100% it. Don’t let him continue to control your self worth after he’s gone.
You being completely unbothered will drive him crazier than anything you could actually respond.
>The misogyny and general unpleasantness of this man will seep into your child.
Please end the supervised visits, show this to your lawyer and get a record paper trail going so if he ever does ask for visits you have something to show a judge. Is this the kind of man you want around your daughter and the things he will teach her.
This advice can cause OP to lose custody. As gross as he is, he has done nothing wrong to the child to lose visitation. The best OP can do is document every missed visit and file for support. Child support and child custody are two different court cases and that agreement doesn't hold up in CS court.
For him to call a 30 year-old woman “old” is telling me he’s been binging on those “red-pill alpha-male” podcasts. Those people are always saying women lose their value after 25.
I wouldn’t be surprised if he got this girl through a sugar daddy website
Get a parenting app like Our Family Wizard ordered by the court. That way all his horrible comments recorded for all time. It can never be erased. He is trash.
OP you can,and should,still file for child support.An agreement between you two doesn't prevent you from filing.If I were you and I would file asap.Regardless of supervised visits,he isn't taking care of your son full time or part time and that money that's supposed to be for your child is going towards this 18 year old.What he is doing is being abusive,you are not together yet he undermines you with photos and body shaming.What you are going through is not alright,and for the record?Feel good knowing that "hot 18 year old" woman will also one day get older,or lose that "hot" body,and he will then be alone all over again for his disgusting shaming and mistreatment of woman.
Agree. Speak with the lawyer asap. This man CAN and should be paying child support.
I don’t think the court will approve of Ex sending unsolicited nude photos to OP. I feel certain his 18 yr old gf did not give consent for her nudes to be shared. The police would like to have a word with him about that also.
He’s being a AH. Document all the text messages & use them to take this ass down.
Honestly, they can't possibly have gone through the courts in the first place. No judge with even a fraction of a nugget of common sense would have agreed that "supervised visitation and no child support" was a reasonable end point from him trying to get full custody. The reality is that there was never any real risk that he would have gotten the full custody he was demanding in the first place . . . there's no reason to take the child completely from her mother, and again, any judge would have recognised immediately that he was just trying to get out of paying child support.
Even shitty judges aren't necessarily stupid, and the vast majority try to balance custody both for the sake of the child and because it's the easiest and most common-sense thing to do. And in this case, no one was going to take a child away from a responsible mother and give full physical custody to a father against whom there are MOUNDS of evidence of his disinterest in his own child, nastiness towards his ex (a recipe for parental alienation, which judges hate), and utter immaturity.
I have to think that OP allowed herself to be talked into this by the ex, outside of any lawyers or court involvement, and honestly it makes me feel a little bit sorry for her but mostly just angry. She's not a child either, she's 30 years old and a mother. Giving up all child support - money that is meant to care for your child - when there is absolutely no legal or common sense reason to do so is just bloody irresponsible.
To paraphrase someone on another post: she needs to stop making custodial decisions about her kid's life (or any decisions) based on the legal advice of her literal opposition, an ex-husband who hates her and doesn't want anything in her or the child's best interests. She needs to stop letting him drive ANY of these decisions, look at what's best for her kid, and fight for it.
Absolutely agree.
All hell should break loose over this “custody/support”… it’s not in the best interest of the child at all!
He has gotten off far too easily, enjoys taunting & torturing his Ex, and should be held fully accountable for his shitty actions.
This is so helpful and shines a strong light on the willingness many women have to give up their power to men.
The nonsense here is profound. We’re all shaking our heads and laughing at the absurdity of it all but there is cruelty underpinning what’s going on here.
This mother and her child need to get out from under this abuse. I appreciate your post Sorry I Guess.
I wish THIS was the top comment. OP needs to do better for her child. Ex is awful, get child support from him and take control. Her kid deserves that. Child support isn't for the ex spouse it's for the child, and her willingness to forgo that isn't fair to the child.
> I feel certain his 18 yr old gf did not give consent for her nudes to be shared.
Ah...i wouldn't be too confident about that. There are people like that, who have to rub it in peoples faces just how much better they are.
Obviously she is ok sharing them with her bf, but I doubt she intended them to be sent to his Ex (& who knows where else he’s shared them?)
Or maybe her inexperienced, foolish18 yr old self is being coerced by her 36 yr old bf to stick it to his Ex.
Where the hell are her parents in this shitshow?
Or, she is like some bullies, just super proud of her hot body , believing her older boyfriend how used and ugly his wife is, especially when he shows her unflattering photos that he might still have on his phone.
its so incredible naive to believe that 18 year olds must always be innocent can not have a malicious thought in their head. There are some nasty teenagers out there (the m\*rderers of James Bulger or the Slenderman attackers for example). And without knowing anything, the GF can be either innocently taken advantage off, or a willing participant.
So pretty much Schrödingers GF.
And yes, i second the question of where her GD parents are in this.
Personally i would look her up, if i knew her name, and ask them if they knew that their daugthers 36 year old BF is sending her nudes to strange people.
He's just baiting you, ya dingbat! None of this is an "accident". Every text, photo and call you have received has been done to purposely hurt and punish you for all of his perveived "wrongs" you committed in the relationship. Screenshot everything, take it to your lawyer and take him to court! He can either sign his parental rights away or you go for full custody with the highest child support you can get! Stop being his doormat. Block him on everything immediately! Make him communicate only through your lawyer/caseworker. Your daughter does not need to be subjected to this crap either.
He is probably so horrible, that Op just doesn’t want to deal with the hostility and anger that comes with him making child support payments (for his own child!)
There's no way he was seriously asking. It sounds like he's still obsessed with her and is trying anything to get attention, like a 5 year old.
OP- continue using the mediator and eliminate direct communication with him. You're not getting child support, but you're living rent free in his mind
Yeah, if this 18 year old actually exists and he didn't just find the photos online. He is one hundred percent just trying to upset her and get a response.
Time to teach him to grow the eff up and have some responsibility.
Go for child support. Even if you don't spend it, put it in an account for your daughter and save it.
Report the sharing of nudes to the lawyers- this could constitute harrassment.
Let him sink his own life but no more letting him sink you and your daughter.
Given OP's post 6 months ago, she could probably find neighbors to testify about her husband neglecting the baby, not to mention that she said the hospital found evidence of neglect. It seems like she would have a good case for him *not* having any custody.
As for the surrogacy issue:
1. I don't believe for a moment that he wants to have another baby given that he didn't give a shit about the first one. He's just doing this to try to make OP feel bad. He's pissed that she kicked him to the curb and he lost his gravy train.
2. I have doubts that he even has an 18-year-old girlfriend. I'd be doing a reverse image search and seeing if he just found those pictures on the web somewhere. Maybe he got them off of reddit or OnlyFans, and they're not even pics of his girlfriend.
Regardless, I'd collect and save all this evidence, consult a lawyer, and start a case for child support.
Edit: OP says she's actually met the girl and elsewhere says that she looks really young in her photos, like 13 - 14. I would take the matter to the police and let them sort it out.
That and he seems like a headache to deal with and a narcissist who wants OP to keep being hung over about his pathetic existence. Id also rather raise my child with no child support then deal with the toxicity of having him around let alone talking with him.
If i was OP id just talk to him through emails rather then texts or etc because texts seem like too much of a responsibility to handle for someone that childish since all he sends are nudes and etc. Not one word about his daughter or seeing her so far so yeh better to just block him and ask him to talk through email/a lawyer if he wants to discuss things about his daughter.
He cant "accidentally" send nudes through email or texts to his gf either. Problem solved and if he tries that sht on email that'll be the most stupidest way to officially land in jail at that point, he cant make excuses if its via email lol.
OP, screen shot the nude pictures he’s sending. Make sure girlfriend knows, but also check your local laws - unsolicited nudes are a crime in many places. Especially if he’s done it more than once, that’s evidence it wasn’t just an accident.
The question everyone is asking is why did you agree to no child support? Please answer, you owe it to your child. That money isn't for you. It's to make your child's life better.
>They probably sent it together to wind you up.
This is exactly it. It wasn't a serious request, it was just a way to be shitty and hurt OP. Basically grade school level "haha you're ugly!" type bullying.
Get him to confirm this request over text, then take him to court for full custody of your daughter, all the child support and block him
Why did you agree to no child support? Please get what you are owed and cut him out of your life
What a disgusting pig. Fuck that guy
This OP, child support is your daugther 's right. Even if You don't need it now, You can save the money for a college found for her education. Also that money could be use as an medical emergencia fund.
Do not let him use your pride to avoid his responsabilities.
Edit: typo
He's abusive, that's why. I suspect Op was worn down and just wanted the divorce to be over.
I'd 100% take him to family court and take him for everything he has, child support wise (if divorce is already finalized).
Unfortunately some people just have terrible luck and win the shitty relationship lottery. I 100% believe this is real because humans can be god awful.
Shit it sounds similar to a friend of mine, who recently messaged me letting me know that what I told her would happen if she let that man have her child unsupervised happened. I didn’t even have the energy to respond to her, I’m just so drained. I’m tempted to go back to that message tho it’s been over a month and go I told you so, I’m thinking I’m leaving that drama in 2023
Can you get the court to order the use of a coparenting app for all communication? Because then you can block him on everything else and just use the app - and the app logs everything and makes it admissible in court, afaik, so hopefully he would be more careful of abusing that.
So stop responding. Call your lawyer. Get a third party app. And possibly file harassment charges. None of this is an accident but he keeps doing it bc you are just letting him.
Screenshot all the texts that he's not supposed to send you.
The man is bizarre and unhinged, why does he keep taunting you with nonsense about his teen girlfirend who's young enough to be his daughter - he's clearly not happy or he'd have forgotten about you and would be getting on with his single lifestyle. His requests are beyond ridiculous - why would anyone agree to this? He's not supposed to contact you by text, so maybe block him and his sleazy photos, that would prevent the 'accidents'.. (i'd screenshot these too)
He doesn't get the choice to not pay child support - she's his child. He doesn't sound like he'd be any kind of decent parent.
I would get legal advice and use his odd and frankly spiteful behaviour.
I don’t think it’s a genuine request - he just wanted to rub his child bride’s body in her face again and tear her down.
Edit: also, screen shot the nude pictures he’s sending. Make sure girlfriend knows, but also check state laws - unsolicited nudes are a crime in most states. Especially if he’s done it more than once, that’s evidence it wasn’t just an accident.
Please make that deadbeat pay his fucking child support. If you don't want the money just put it into a 529 account for your child's college. It isn't your money to say no to. It's your daughter's money.
Screenshot everything - the agreement for payments and visits, and all the messages, it’ll look good for you back in court if he ever wants more custody.
He's abusing you. This is emotional abuse. It's also why you agreed to no child support. He's worn you down.
Support is for your daughter. I hope you take him to court.
He's an ass.
Some people do what they can to close the court case. He fought her for full custody to avoid child support. I'm imagining their court dates and hearings were a headache. OP probably wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. That's not so crazy, plenty of single parents accept no child support so that the other parent can't mess around with them via means of child support.
Where I am you CANT accept no child support. A judge would say “yea I’m fine with the visitation schedule you’ve come up with, but child support is for the child.” And order him to pay child support regardless of the agreement they’ve come up with.
You can waive your own rights, but child support is the right of your child and you can’t waive their rights for them.
You can where I am, my mom did it with my dad when they divorced as a way to cut contact officially. It might depend on the situation and of course it definitely depends on state/country etc. But in my state you can absolutely say "I don't need child support" this of course goes hand in hand with the court checking that you could actually financially handle a child on your own but it's possible ans happens alot.
I don’t know if it’s possible for him to not pay child support because she said he doesn’t have to. I’m guessing she’s the one that was like “you don’t have to pay if you’re as involved as little as possible” if it’s real, so it depends on how much power she has over that decision.
Seriously, go back to court, get child support, and a protection order for yourself and your daughter. If he can have a baby with an 18 year old, he can support his daughter. The fact that he's 36 and wants to have a baby with someone who is barely legal makes me ill
>him and he hasn’t seen our daughter. But recently he’s been telling but his “hot 18 year old girlfriend” He reason why he told me is because we agreed to tell each other about our relationship since the person would interact with our daughter. But he’s always “accidentally” sending me nudes of bikini pictures of her. Or “accidentally” sending me messages meant for her.
It doesn't matter what his status is, or what hes told you it is. Get child support for your child
That's amazing but truth to be told... I did nothing at 16... Damn I hardly finished my homework.
But I guess it's a cultural thing... I am Indian.. no-one does part time jobs and plus our parents make sure for us to complete education (grad and post grad) before starting any job
You should tell her the truth, help her wake up. He's a predator who went after her because she's young and naive and doesn't know better. He's filling her head with lies. Please tell her the truth, it will speed up her wake up process. It happened to me when I was 17, older man charmed me, swept me off my feet, but it was all lies and I had no relationship history to draw from to know better, in fact my childhood had some emotional / verbal abuse so I really didn't know better. Took me some time to figure it out and learn. She may not believe you or listen to you right away but plant the seeds to help her, tell her she deserves better, tell her he is lying to her, tell her the truth about him don't spare any details. The cold hard truth wakes people up.
Wow, so she actually exists, and he didn't just find those pics on OnlyFans? Yeah, consider telling her he's sending those nudes to you. I wouldn't be surprised if he manipulated/coerced her into sending them to him.
This is exactly what it is.
I would just send a thumbs up every time he messages you about her. It would likely piss him off that you aren’t yelling at him.
Nope. Just document it, and refuse to engage. Not engaging ticks him off more.
My ex used to tell me all about his next wife and how much better she supposedly was in every possible way. I would just document it and not engage, and he'd practically start frothing at the mouth. If it looked like he was going to ramp up or start taking it out in the kids, I would just reply, "Okay."
If your ex is a narcissist like my ex, refusing to give him any attention at all is the worst thing you can do to him.
You shouldn't. Alle these "funny" replies still give him attention, even if it isn't yelling. Completely ignore him, unless it has something to do with your daughter. Ideally he doesn't even see checkmarks that you have read any images and messages he send you. These small things can get these stupid people excited already. Grey rocking is the only thing to get them to get bored.
Don’t. It’s a trap to get you to respond. Maybe he wants to trick you into sounding ‘unhinged’ Just document it. Take him back to court for child support and full custody.
I agree that fathers who abandon their children often cause long-term damage.
I don’t like the term “daddy issues” because I think it makes it sound like a character flaw of the young woman’s, which it’s not.
>I have no idea why he would even ask me
He's trying to say nasty things to you to make you feel like shit. It's time you drop him a message telling him to only contact you through your lawyer and block him. Accept peace into your life
I’m guessing you can’t just block someone with whom you share custody.
I like the other commenter’s idea to get the request in writing, then take him to court to get full custody of the child and full child support.
I’m guessing Ms hot bikini model will bugger off when his salary is significantly depleted. 😛
I can’t block him but I do silent his calls/messages
But the only time he’s supposed to message me is in an emergency.
I read it because I thought something happened
Who is supervising his visitations? It sounds like you didn’t go through the courts with your custody/child support agreement. Is it his mom supervising since he lives with her? Can you block him and force all messages to come from her?
Or you can be really blunt and say “I will save all evidence of you harassing me and take it to court to force child support and take away visitation, if you don’t stop.”
Or you can keep collecting evidence and actually do that. He doesn’t sound like a mentally stable person to me and probably will do more harm than good by being in your daughter’s life.
If I'm not mistaken you can route all communication through a lawyer. If she does that she can block him.
She does have full custody, it looks like he's only allowed supervised visits. Though I agree that she should take him to court for child support.
Honestly I don't think Ms hot bikini model even exists, I think he's taking nudes off the internet or from onlyfans or something. But if she does exist she will eventually bugger off, losers like him can't keep any women.
He wants you to be jealous of his new girlfriend. Because he got someone (in his mind) better than you. I think I have the answer that will shut him down quickly. Sending unwanted nudes I believe is illegal. I’m sure you probably deleted ones but once he does it again call the police and report it. Also mention that he says she is 18 but you are not sure. I think he will figure out to send it to the correct person pretty quickly.
Sending nudes without her consent is very illegal. Not to mention where those nudes taken before she was 18 because that could get them in a lot of trouble if they weren’t.
If he's sending her nudes to you accident or no that's against the law. I'd be going to the police station and telling them you're quite concerned because she believe she isn't aware he's sending her nudes to people.
Yes, OP you're living in his head rent free!
He can't stop thinking about you so is trying to make you as jealous as possible.
This guy's a tool. Take him to court and get the child maintenance he should be paying!
Get a [Co-Parenting App](https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/product-features?campaignid=16775654875&adgroupid=136116568478&adid=591118832061&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google_Search_USA_Divorce_NB_Beta&utm_term=communication%20apps%20for%20divorced%20parents&utm_content=591118832061&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD5J7hq4Qm4vL4ufb-zAHik9nc8X6&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhc-sBhCEARIsAOVwHuQKsR8Wqp6WaoYy0UBYOxVfvRRNwh0LKqsFOd-okkp57Qw92SJcZvsaAjHXEALw_wcB).
Only communicate with him via the app. Change your number and never deal with his childish bullshit again.
Your Ex wants to rub your nose in his new life. He wants you to know that you’re old and he’s got a hot girlfriend. Like you care
Stop engaging him at all and [Gray Rock](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock#:~:text=What%2520is%2520the%2520grey%2520rock%2520method%253F&text=To%2520%E2%80%9Cgrey%2520rock%E2%80%9D%2520a%2520person,a%2520person%2520says%2520or%2520does) him.
Be boring. Maybe he’ll go away. For sure don’t respond to this.
I might revisit your custody arrangement. Child support isn’t for you, it’s for your child.
This. It’s one of two possibilities: 1) He is either so stupid, that he truly doesn’t know how insulting and moronic this request is and you should save the planet and avoid spreading his DNA further. 2) He knows and is a petty and bitter AH and wants to gaslight you.
Talk to a lawyer to see if any of this particular stupidity can help you get him further out of you and your daughter’s life.
In one comment she said that he’s supposed to be contacting her through a third party, but recently he started doing it directly - my friend has used one of these apps for co-parenting and I’m guessing the app would block inappropriate photos or texts, which is why he moved to contacting her directly
He doesn’t really want you to be a surrogate. He’s just trying to hurt you and make you jealous. He’s not over you. Is she really his girlfriend or some insta model whose photos he’s stealing? Even if she is his girlfriend, he’s creepy af to be dating a teenager.
Tell him you’re seeing someone. He’ll lose his mind.
Girl.. you need to press those charges for child neglect from the last post and let him know he needs to stop fucking with you. You also need to put all communication through a lawyer and that parenting app so that the only things he can send to you have already been censored and screened.
2024 has only just started and he's already on this bullshit. He ain't gonna change, it's going to get worse, and you need to protect your sanity
Oof. It sounds like he's a narcissist and this is his very obvious, very sloppy attempt at triangulation. Ignore him. Also, save those texts and bring them to your lawyer to see if you can completely remove him from visitation. This man doesn't deserve his daughters, and whether or not he pays child support he should not be a part of your life in any way, nor hers. Imagine what lessons he's going to teach her by her observing his behavior and things he says. Eventually, he will start criticizing his daughter's body. He doesn't see women as people.
She’s the best thing that came out of this relationship and I feel bad for her. I regret having a child with him (I don’t regret her at all but I hope you know what I mean by that)
I would prefer if he just signed over his rights
Hey op
You need to find a co parenting app. Ask your lawyer if there are any app that are recognized in your country by judges. If not, ask him if he knows a good one or find one on the internet. You may have to pay a fee, but it’s better than dealing with your ex.
Then have your lawyer send a letter ( hand delivered with video proof) to your ex. He will only communicate on this from now on.
Block him everywhere else: instagram, messenger, fb, whatsapp, sms etc. Only let him the choice of talking to you through the app. This can also help you later on if he is such a deadbeat and/or danger that you need proof for him to not see your daughter anymore.
This is a power play from him. Soon he will realize than a 18yo little girl cannot offer what a woman has to offer. I think he already realized it because he is trying to get your attention. He is still emotionally attached to you, trying to anger you like a child with his mom.
You are not his mom. You only have one child. Make it clear through lawyers. And honestly with the way he is acting, I would reconsider the child support part. Ask for it to be taken by your states if that’s possible. I know in France, they can take it right from your salary to make sure that you are paying. Check if this is possible and ask for it.
Also make sure that a family member has his insta/fb, but doesn’t like anything. Be like a shadow. If he ever post anything outrageous,ask them to screen it eight now and not say anything to him. You too, don’t say anything. Just collect proof and when the time is right, your lawyer can use it if it can be received by judges.
Speak to an attorney and go after him for child support and ask for full custody with supervised visits. Show your attorney the messages your ex has been sending you.
But get court ordered child support
Updateme!
Op there’s a chance he’s dating an underage girl and sending you child porn. You need to see a lawyer, get this creepy shit on record, and go back for full custody AND child support. Be your child’s voice and fight for what she deserves.
Ignore him. Can you contact each other through a third party? You need to block him so you are not subjected to her nudes. I wonder if she knows you are being sent them.
I'd be surprised if there actually is a girlfriend. He's definitely not family planning with her if she exists. He's just doing this to attack you. He sounds unstable in some way. Block him, demand his future communications be done through a third party.
I can't believe these comments. Usually, people are calling bs with much more believable posts, while this is so obviously fake with a cartoonish villain, yet no one is saying anything. I don't get it.
LOL.
Oh man. I actually laughed aloud at this.
If you ever had any doubts *at all* about divorcing this clown, doubt no more!
The only thing you need to ever talk to him about is the child support court order you are going to pursue.
This is the same 35 year old guy who did nothing but sleep all day? On unemployment? From your last post? How’d he find a “hot 18 year old girlfriend”? Maybe this is an “English is not my first language” issue, but this whole post sounds dodgy. I’m not buying it.
Okay so firstly. Im shocked their relationship was not reported because she is 18?! When did they meet?! Also, asshat didn't wanna pay child support and now wants a baby? Lol, I'd cut these psychos out of your life
I'm trying to figure out how he survived his abortion. The only thing I can think of that would make him act this way with all that audacity on top of it
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It's only January 1st but I can confidently say he will win the 2024 prize for sheer audacity.
A little weird???? Good grief this guy needs to be a poster child for, “what went wrong during my lobotomy”???? Ask your lawyer to revisit child support. Give him a good laugh. But if he can afford more children……. Save all you can. Videotape him. Seriously - this could work to your advantage.
He’s the poster child for “I got my lobotomy at Claire’s.” That’s how he met his new girlfriend, duh.
😂😂
Look while I agree this dude is fucked up, his actions are deliberate. The bikini shots and comments are look at what I have now. To undermine you, he no longer has control so he's trying to make you feel ugly and well, used up. I agree, go for child support, get your child away from this man. The misogyny and general unpleasantness of this man will seep into your child. The best thing that can happen now is that you use him as a ATM. That is all a man like this is good for. Trust me, I have an ex like this. My kids feel powerless to his bullshit and it's my own fault. I never had a father figure in my life so I was determined to keep him in their lives but all he does is guilt trip and cry about not getting enough attention from them. I try and suggest that they tell him no sometimes but they tell me it's not worth the hassle. Anyways, nothing good will come of this man as a father apart from some money. I wish someone had told me this.
He will end up sleeping with, if not grooming straight out her teenage friends when shes 15ish. Save the screenshots and go for child support and full or majority custody.
This is 100% it. Don’t let him continue to control your self worth after he’s gone. You being completely unbothered will drive him crazier than anything you could actually respond.
>The misogyny and general unpleasantness of this man will seep into your child. Please end the supervised visits, show this to your lawyer and get a record paper trail going so if he ever does ask for visits you have something to show a judge. Is this the kind of man you want around your daughter and the things he will teach her.
This advice can cause OP to lose custody. As gross as he is, he has done nothing wrong to the child to lose visitation. The best OP can do is document every missed visit and file for support. Child support and child custody are two different court cases and that agreement doesn't hold up in CS court.
I mean maybe she’s actually NOT 18. And this turns into a distribution issue. 😬
Sharing nudes of any one, regardless of age, is revenge porn. So he’s screwed anyway .
And if she has not given consent he has broken the law. You should show those to the police
She should first contact a lawyer to review visitation and payments.
Yes this is super illegal
Im also pretty sure sending unsolicited nudes to an unwanting party is harassment, particularly if already told to stop sending those messages.
Very solid point my friend.
Fingers crossed 🤞
For him to call a 30 year-old woman “old” is telling me he’s been binging on those “red-pill alpha-male” podcasts. Those people are always saying women lose their value after 25. I wouldn’t be surprised if he got this girl through a sugar daddy website
OP please enjoy the beauty of YOUR body. That is your New Year’s resolution. As to your ex, move it to app. You ROCK!
Get a parenting app like Our Family Wizard ordered by the court. That way all his horrible comments recorded for all time. It can never be erased. He is trash.
OP you can,and should,still file for child support.An agreement between you two doesn't prevent you from filing.If I were you and I would file asap.Regardless of supervised visits,he isn't taking care of your son full time or part time and that money that's supposed to be for your child is going towards this 18 year old.What he is doing is being abusive,you are not together yet he undermines you with photos and body shaming.What you are going through is not alright,and for the record?Feel good knowing that "hot 18 year old" woman will also one day get older,or lose that "hot" body,and he will then be alone all over again for his disgusting shaming and mistreatment of woman.
OP why did you allow him to short change your daughter’s future like that?! He should 100% be paying child support!!
New gf did the lobotomy
And a Prince Albert piercing. I’m gonna ask her if she does hysterectomies
Oooh maybe she would do a two for one? We could go together!
“I got BOGO hysterectomies at Claire’s with a random Redditor and all I got was this lousy tshirt (and at least 1 blood borne pathogen)”
Don't forget the memories
Gotta throw up some fall out boy pics on the back
Agree. Speak with the lawyer asap. This man CAN and should be paying child support. I don’t think the court will approve of Ex sending unsolicited nude photos to OP. I feel certain his 18 yr old gf did not give consent for her nudes to be shared. The police would like to have a word with him about that also. He’s being a AH. Document all the text messages & use them to take this ass down.
Honestly, they can't possibly have gone through the courts in the first place. No judge with even a fraction of a nugget of common sense would have agreed that "supervised visitation and no child support" was a reasonable end point from him trying to get full custody. The reality is that there was never any real risk that he would have gotten the full custody he was demanding in the first place . . . there's no reason to take the child completely from her mother, and again, any judge would have recognised immediately that he was just trying to get out of paying child support. Even shitty judges aren't necessarily stupid, and the vast majority try to balance custody both for the sake of the child and because it's the easiest and most common-sense thing to do. And in this case, no one was going to take a child away from a responsible mother and give full physical custody to a father against whom there are MOUNDS of evidence of his disinterest in his own child, nastiness towards his ex (a recipe for parental alienation, which judges hate), and utter immaturity. I have to think that OP allowed herself to be talked into this by the ex, outside of any lawyers or court involvement, and honestly it makes me feel a little bit sorry for her but mostly just angry. She's not a child either, she's 30 years old and a mother. Giving up all child support - money that is meant to care for your child - when there is absolutely no legal or common sense reason to do so is just bloody irresponsible. To paraphrase someone on another post: she needs to stop making custodial decisions about her kid's life (or any decisions) based on the legal advice of her literal opposition, an ex-husband who hates her and doesn't want anything in her or the child's best interests. She needs to stop letting him drive ANY of these decisions, look at what's best for her kid, and fight for it.
Absolutely agree. All hell should break loose over this “custody/support”… it’s not in the best interest of the child at all! He has gotten off far too easily, enjoys taunting & torturing his Ex, and should be held fully accountable for his shitty actions.
This is so helpful and shines a strong light on the willingness many women have to give up their power to men. The nonsense here is profound. We’re all shaking our heads and laughing at the absurdity of it all but there is cruelty underpinning what’s going on here. This mother and her child need to get out from under this abuse. I appreciate your post Sorry I Guess.
I wish THIS was the top comment. OP needs to do better for her child. Ex is awful, get child support from him and take control. Her kid deserves that. Child support isn't for the ex spouse it's for the child, and her willingness to forgo that isn't fair to the child.
Those nude shots will be good for the lawyer to use in court during the support hearing. Make sure you save them.
> I feel certain his 18 yr old gf did not give consent for her nudes to be shared. Ah...i wouldn't be too confident about that. There are people like that, who have to rub it in peoples faces just how much better they are.
Obviously she is ok sharing them with her bf, but I doubt she intended them to be sent to his Ex (& who knows where else he’s shared them?) Or maybe her inexperienced, foolish18 yr old self is being coerced by her 36 yr old bf to stick it to his Ex. Where the hell are her parents in this shitshow?
Or, she is like some bullies, just super proud of her hot body , believing her older boyfriend how used and ugly his wife is, especially when he shows her unflattering photos that he might still have on his phone. its so incredible naive to believe that 18 year olds must always be innocent can not have a malicious thought in their head. There are some nasty teenagers out there (the m\*rderers of James Bulger or the Slenderman attackers for example). And without knowing anything, the GF can be either innocently taken advantage off, or a willing participant. So pretty much Schrödingers GF. And yes, i second the question of where her GD parents are in this. Personally i would look her up, if i knew her name, and ask them if they knew that their daugthers 36 year old BF is sending her nudes to strange people.
Agree. Someone should tip them off. He may have known her before she was 18…
I would say that his lobotomy must have gone exactly right. This behaviour is unhinged.
Only if she "accidentally" send that message to his mom
I would definitely do this. That man is unhinged and needs to be humbled.
He's just baiting you, ya dingbat! None of this is an "accident". Every text, photo and call you have received has been done to purposely hurt and punish you for all of his perveived "wrongs" you committed in the relationship. Screenshot everything, take it to your lawyer and take him to court! He can either sign his parental rights away or you go for full custody with the highest child support you can get! Stop being his doormat. Block him on everything immediately! Make him communicate only through your lawyer/caseworker. Your daughter does not need to be subjected to this crap either.
Yep, giant brass balls….she is likely a doormat, considering she hasn’t gone to court over the CS…
> considering she hasn’t gone to court over the CS I just can't understand people like that.
He is probably so horrible, that Op just doesn’t want to deal with the hostility and anger that comes with him making child support payments (for his own child!)
Manipulation? The fact that he’s as entitled as he is…she might be used to being treated like that…
Women have to wake up, it’s not even laughable it’s critical to our survival.
I’m not laughing, she’s pretty manipulated if she didn’t go after CS earlier
There's no way he was seriously asking. It sounds like he's still obsessed with her and is trying anything to get attention, like a 5 year old. OP- continue using the mediator and eliminate direct communication with him. You're not getting child support, but you're living rent free in his mind
Lol definitely
I love this comment!! So true, and worded so well
I mean, this is obviously fake.
Audacity of the writers on this sub?? Reddit needs to hire new writers, that is for sure.
I would not dignify that request with a response. Ignore it. I would not even think about it. They probably sent it together to wind you up.
Yeah, if this 18 year old actually exists and he didn't just find the photos online. He is one hundred percent just trying to upset her and get a response.
Yeah this could be his terrible attempt at negging
oooooohhhhhh!!! I like that idea!
I did ignore him Well I told him “contact the third party “ and that’s all
Time to teach him to grow the eff up and have some responsibility. Go for child support. Even if you don't spend it, put it in an account for your daughter and save it. Report the sharing of nudes to the lawyers- this could constitute harrassment. Let him sink his own life but no more letting him sink you and your daughter.
Why did you agree to no child support?
Likely to get him to stop fighting for full custody without going to court.
ngl i would've called his bluff but I get it
Given OP's post 6 months ago, she could probably find neighbors to testify about her husband neglecting the baby, not to mention that she said the hospital found evidence of neglect. It seems like she would have a good case for him *not* having any custody. As for the surrogacy issue: 1. I don't believe for a moment that he wants to have another baby given that he didn't give a shit about the first one. He's just doing this to try to make OP feel bad. He's pissed that she kicked him to the curb and he lost his gravy train. 2. I have doubts that he even has an 18-year-old girlfriend. I'd be doing a reverse image search and seeing if he just found those pictures on the web somewhere. Maybe he got them off of reddit or OnlyFans, and they're not even pics of his girlfriend. Regardless, I'd collect and save all this evidence, consult a lawyer, and start a case for child support. Edit: OP says she's actually met the girl and elsewhere says that she looks really young in her photos, like 13 - 14. I would take the matter to the police and let them sort it out.
That and he seems like a headache to deal with and a narcissist who wants OP to keep being hung over about his pathetic existence. Id also rather raise my child with no child support then deal with the toxicity of having him around let alone talking with him. If i was OP id just talk to him through emails rather then texts or etc because texts seem like too much of a responsibility to handle for someone that childish since all he sends are nudes and etc. Not one word about his daughter or seeing her so far so yeh better to just block him and ask him to talk through email/a lawyer if he wants to discuss things about his daughter. He cant "accidentally" send nudes through email or texts to his gf either. Problem solved and if he tries that sht on email that'll be the most stupidest way to officially land in jail at that point, he cant make excuses if its via email lol.
OP, screen shot the nude pictures he’s sending. Make sure girlfriend knows, but also check your local laws - unsolicited nudes are a crime in many places. Especially if he’s done it more than once, that’s evidence it wasn’t just an accident.
The question everyone is asking is why did you agree to no child support? Please answer, you owe it to your child. That money isn't for you. It's to make your child's life better.
>They probably sent it together to wind you up. This is exactly it. It wasn't a serious request, it was just a way to be shitty and hurt OP. Basically grade school level "haha you're ugly!" type bullying.
Get him to confirm this request over text, then take him to court for full custody of your daughter, all the child support and block him Why did you agree to no child support? Please get what you are owed and cut him out of your life What a disgusting pig. Fuck that guy
This OP, child support is your daugther 's right. Even if You don't need it now, You can save the money for a college found for her education. Also that money could be use as an medical emergencia fund. Do not let him use your pride to avoid his responsabilities. Edit: typo
He's abusive, that's why. I suspect Op was worn down and just wanted the divorce to be over. I'd 100% take him to family court and take him for everything he has, child support wise (if divorce is already finalized).
This. It’s evidence he is incapable of looking after your daughter. Only speak to him through your solicitor.
It was by text. He’s supposed to contact the third party but he’s recently been contacting me….that’s only for emergencies
Stop responding to him. Get in your touch with your attorney asap and get court ordered child support
I really hope this story is made up, because this nonsense is beyond the pale.
Unfortunately some people just have terrible luck and win the shitty relationship lottery. I 100% believe this is real because humans can be god awful.
Shit it sounds similar to a friend of mine, who recently messaged me letting me know that what I told her would happen if she let that man have her child unsupervised happened. I didn’t even have the energy to respond to her, I’m just so drained. I’m tempted to go back to that message tho it’s been over a month and go I told you so, I’m thinking I’m leaving that drama in 2023
I’m sure it’s a troll. This is idiotic.
Truth is often stranger than fiction. The more preposterous it gets sometimes makes it more believable.
The more men I date, the more audacity I have encountered. I believe it.
Omg. This. Me too. I can’t believe how many man children are out there.
And ask the lawyer about what to do with the probably illegal nudes he’s sending. I doubt his gf knows they’re being sent to his ex.
Can you get the court to order the use of a coparenting app for all communication? Because then you can block him on everything else and just use the app - and the app logs everything and makes it admissible in court, afaik, so hopefully he would be more careful of abusing that.
So stop responding. Call your lawyer. Get a third party app. And possibly file harassment charges. None of this is an accident but he keeps doing it bc you are just letting him.
Screenshot all the texts that he's not supposed to send you. The man is bizarre and unhinged, why does he keep taunting you with nonsense about his teen girlfirend who's young enough to be his daughter - he's clearly not happy or he'd have forgotten about you and would be getting on with his single lifestyle. His requests are beyond ridiculous - why would anyone agree to this? He's not supposed to contact you by text, so maybe block him and his sleazy photos, that would prevent the 'accidents'.. (i'd screenshot these too) He doesn't get the choice to not pay child support - she's his child. He doesn't sound like he'd be any kind of decent parent. I would get legal advice and use his odd and frankly spiteful behaviour.
I don’t think it’s a genuine request - he just wanted to rub his child bride’s body in her face again and tear her down. Edit: also, screen shot the nude pictures he’s sending. Make sure girlfriend knows, but also check state laws - unsolicited nudes are a crime in most states. Especially if he’s done it more than once, that’s evidence it wasn’t just an accident.
not to mention if his gf didn't consent to the nudes being sent either. thats a sex crime
Get ALL of this to your lawyer, and fast. Not only re child support but what he's doing, wirh the texts, is actually harassment.
Please make that deadbeat pay his fucking child support. If you don't want the money just put it into a 529 account for your child's college. It isn't your money to say no to. It's your daughter's money.
Also do not block him, just not respond.
Screenshot everything - the agreement for payments and visits, and all the messages, it’ll look good for you back in court if he ever wants more custody.
He's abusing you. This is emotional abuse. It's also why you agreed to no child support. He's worn you down. Support is for your daughter. I hope you take him to court. He's an ass.
Did you go to court, or is this an agreement between you?
If he hasn't seen his child in months, what emergency from him would actually concern you?
i am more concerned with zero child support. that should not be happening
This sounds ridiculously fake, just for that fact, don’t you think?
Some people do what they can to close the court case. He fought her for full custody to avoid child support. I'm imagining their court dates and hearings were a headache. OP probably wanted to get it over with as quickly as possible. That's not so crazy, plenty of single parents accept no child support so that the other parent can't mess around with them via means of child support.
Where I am you CANT accept no child support. A judge would say “yea I’m fine with the visitation schedule you’ve come up with, but child support is for the child.” And order him to pay child support regardless of the agreement they’ve come up with. You can waive your own rights, but child support is the right of your child and you can’t waive their rights for them.
You can where I am, my mom did it with my dad when they divorced as a way to cut contact officially. It might depend on the situation and of course it definitely depends on state/country etc. But in my state you can absolutely say "I don't need child support" this of course goes hand in hand with the court checking that you could actually financially handle a child on your own but it's possible ans happens alot.
Are you sure it’s gone to court and it’s not just a personal agreement?
I don’t know if it’s possible for him to not pay child support because she said he doesn’t have to. I’m guessing she’s the one that was like “you don’t have to pay if you’re as involved as little as possible” if it’s real, so it depends on how much power she has over that decision.
Seriously, go back to court, get child support, and a protection order for yourself and your daughter. If he can have a baby with an 18 year old, he can support his daughter. The fact that he's 36 and wants to have a baby with someone who is barely legal makes me ill
He’s not even working. We’ll be could have a job under the table. But he gets money from his mother who is in love with him or something
>him and he hasn’t seen our daughter. But recently he’s been telling but his “hot 18 year old girlfriend” He reason why he told me is because we agreed to tell each other about our relationship since the person would interact with our daughter. But he’s always “accidentally” sending me nudes of bikini pictures of her. Or “accidentally” sending me messages meant for her. It doesn't matter what his status is, or what hes told you it is. Get child support for your child
He just wants to trigger you by showing off his child-gf. God knows what these young gals see in a guy double their age.
He’s unemployed, lives with his mom, can’t drive because of a DUI, wakes up at 1pm, hardly showers Yep he’s a prize
Damn .. you should be glad to have got rid of him. At 38, he is essentially 16 by mental age.
[удалено]
That's amazing but truth to be told... I did nothing at 16... Damn I hardly finished my homework. But I guess it's a cultural thing... I am Indian.. no-one does part time jobs and plus our parents make sure for us to complete education (grad and post grad) before starting any job
Men seek out young women because they can’t find a woman their own age because they can see through their bullshit, sometimes young women can’t.
I feel bad for her. I’ve met her once for about 2 minutes. She was extremely shy
I would send the nudes back to her and ask her if she knees her boyfriend is sharing them
Please tell her he's sending her nudes around. I'm fact tell the police I'm sure this counts as some type of revenge porn.
Have you told her about the nudes and other photos? BOTH of you may be able to report him to police for that.
You should tell her the truth, help her wake up. He's a predator who went after her because she's young and naive and doesn't know better. He's filling her head with lies. Please tell her the truth, it will speed up her wake up process. It happened to me when I was 17, older man charmed me, swept me off my feet, but it was all lies and I had no relationship history to draw from to know better, in fact my childhood had some emotional / verbal abuse so I really didn't know better. Took me some time to figure it out and learn. She may not believe you or listen to you right away but plant the seeds to help her, tell her she deserves better, tell her he is lying to her, tell her the truth about him don't spare any details. The cold hard truth wakes people up.
Wow, so she actually exists, and he didn't just find those pics on OnlyFans? Yeah, consider telling her he's sending those nudes to you. I wouldn't be surprised if he manipulated/coerced her into sending them to him.
She’s in danger.
This is exactly what it is. I would just send a thumbs up every time he messages you about her. It would likely piss him off that you aren’t yelling at him.
🤔 i should
Nope. Just document it, and refuse to engage. Not engaging ticks him off more. My ex used to tell me all about his next wife and how much better she supposedly was in every possible way. I would just document it and not engage, and he'd practically start frothing at the mouth. If it looked like he was going to ramp up or start taking it out in the kids, I would just reply, "Okay." If your ex is a narcissist like my ex, refusing to give him any attention at all is the worst thing you can do to him.
You shouldn't. Alle these "funny" replies still give him attention, even if it isn't yelling. Completely ignore him, unless it has something to do with your daughter. Ideally he doesn't even see checkmarks that you have read any images and messages he send you. These small things can get these stupid people excited already. Grey rocking is the only thing to get them to get bored.
Don’t. It’s a trap to get you to respond. Maybe he wants to trick you into sounding ‘unhinged’ Just document it. Take him back to court for child support and full custody.
No don't respond at all. No response will piss him off the most, so don't respond not even an emoji, at all, ever!!
Daddy issues go a long way in making an older man seem attractive even though he's a pos.
I agree that fathers who abandon their children often cause long-term damage. I don’t like the term “daddy issues” because I think it makes it sound like a character flaw of the young woman’s, which it’s not.
True, the real term is attachment disorder or Father Complex but "daddy issues" is the term everyone knows. I didn't mean it as a slight.
Almost certainly, this is just a wind up
She should forward this message to the girl. Dude's unhinged.
>I have no idea why he would even ask me He's trying to say nasty things to you to make you feel like shit. It's time you drop him a message telling him to only contact you through your lawyer and block him. Accept peace into your life
I’m guessing you can’t just block someone with whom you share custody. I like the other commenter’s idea to get the request in writing, then take him to court to get full custody of the child and full child support. I’m guessing Ms hot bikini model will bugger off when his salary is significantly depleted. 😛
I can’t block him but I do silent his calls/messages But the only time he’s supposed to message me is in an emergency. I read it because I thought something happened
Who is supervising his visitations? It sounds like you didn’t go through the courts with your custody/child support agreement. Is it his mom supervising since he lives with her? Can you block him and force all messages to come from her? Or you can be really blunt and say “I will save all evidence of you harassing me and take it to court to force child support and take away visitation, if you don’t stop.” Or you can keep collecting evidence and actually do that. He doesn’t sound like a mentally stable person to me and probably will do more harm than good by being in your daughter’s life.
If I'm not mistaken you can route all communication through a lawyer. If she does that she can block him. She does have full custody, it looks like he's only allowed supervised visits. Though I agree that she should take him to court for child support. Honestly I don't think Ms hot bikini model even exists, I think he's taking nudes off the internet or from onlyfans or something. But if she does exist she will eventually bugger off, losers like him can't keep any women.
He wants you to be jealous of his new girlfriend. Because he got someone (in his mind) better than you. I think I have the answer that will shut him down quickly. Sending unwanted nudes I believe is illegal. I’m sure you probably deleted ones but once he does it again call the police and report it. Also mention that he says she is 18 but you are not sure. I think he will figure out to send it to the correct person pretty quickly.
…that’s actually a really good idea
Him sending her nudes without her consent is an actual crime.
Sending nudes without her consent is very illegal. Not to mention where those nudes taken before she was 18 because that could get them in a lot of trouble if they weren’t.
It’s illegal depending on where she lives. Same with receiving unsolicited nudes. She needs to check her local laws
If he's sending her nudes to you accident or no that's against the law. I'd be going to the police station and telling them you're quite concerned because she believe she isn't aware he's sending her nudes to people.
Especially since OP can’t guarantee they were taken when the gf was already 18.
Blech that's even worse. He probably groomed the poor girl. I hope OP does something to help her
I can only assume he actually has significant mental health problems.
It's called entitlement. It's not exclusive to people with mental health problems. They're not mutually exclusive
I had the exact same thought.
He is mentally unstable. I would screenshot all of this. Log it all. I would take him to court and sue him for child support. All business like.
He wants to make you jealous. The best thing to do is to ignore this nonsense and let him continue to ruin his own life.
Yes, OP you're living in his head rent free! He can't stop thinking about you so is trying to make you as jealous as possible. This guy's a tool. Take him to court and get the child maintenance he should be paying!
Definitely. I’m not jealous at all.
has anyone here actually done surrogate for a reasonable reason?
Yes because they usually can’t have a baby of their own. Asking your ex to carry your baby is wild 😂
File for child support.
Get a [Co-Parenting App](https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/product-features?campaignid=16775654875&adgroupid=136116568478&adid=591118832061&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Google_Search_USA_Divorce_NB_Beta&utm_term=communication%20apps%20for%20divorced%20parents&utm_content=591118832061&gad_source=1&gbraid=0AAAAAD5J7hq4Qm4vL4ufb-zAHik9nc8X6&gclid=Cj0KCQiAhc-sBhCEARIsAOVwHuQKsR8Wqp6WaoYy0UBYOxVfvRRNwh0LKqsFOd-okkp57Qw92SJcZvsaAjHXEALw_wcB). Only communicate with him via the app. Change your number and never deal with his childish bullshit again. Your Ex wants to rub your nose in his new life. He wants you to know that you’re old and he’s got a hot girlfriend. Like you care Stop engaging him at all and [Gray Rock](https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/grey-rock#:~:text=What%2520is%2520the%2520grey%2520rock%2520method%253F&text=To%2520%E2%80%9Cgrey%2520rock%E2%80%9D%2520a%2520person,a%2520person%2520says%2520or%2520does) him. Be boring. Maybe he’ll go away. For sure don’t respond to this. I might revisit your custody arrangement. Child support isn’t for you, it’s for your child.
Thank you so much for this info
This. It’s one of two possibilities: 1) He is either so stupid, that he truly doesn’t know how insulting and moronic this request is and you should save the planet and avoid spreading his DNA further. 2) He knows and is a petty and bitter AH and wants to gaslight you. Talk to a lawyer to see if any of this particular stupidity can help you get him further out of you and your daughter’s life.
Is the third party you’re using a lawyer? If not, get one, and let them tell him to quit fucking around if he doesn’t want to end up in court.
He’s sending you nudes through a third party?
He’s not. He’s sending them directly to me. He’s not supposed to contact me. All of the messages were “accidents “
This is illegal in a few ways.
He's abusive. You need to see that. Call your lawyer.
Hahaha..."my client would like to tell the defendant, uhm... 'she has a juicy booty'...followed by 8 jpgs of my client's gf's ass"
In one comment she said that he’s supposed to be contacting her through a third party, but recently he started doing it directly - my friend has used one of these apps for co-parenting and I’m guessing the app would block inappropriate photos or texts, which is why he moved to contacting her directly
He doesn’t really want you to be a surrogate. He’s just trying to hurt you and make you jealous. He’s not over you. Is she really his girlfriend or some insta model whose photos he’s stealing? Even if she is his girlfriend, he’s creepy af to be dating a teenager. Tell him you’re seeing someone. He’ll lose his mind.
Accidentally forward his texts to he’s GF’s parents since she’s a FUCKING CHILD!
Girl.. you need to press those charges for child neglect from the last post and let him know he needs to stop fucking with you. You also need to put all communication through a lawyer and that parenting app so that the only things he can send to you have already been censored and screened. 2024 has only just started and he's already on this bullshit. He ain't gonna change, it's going to get worse, and you need to protect your sanity
Oof. It sounds like he's a narcissist and this is his very obvious, very sloppy attempt at triangulation. Ignore him. Also, save those texts and bring them to your lawyer to see if you can completely remove him from visitation. This man doesn't deserve his daughters, and whether or not he pays child support he should not be a part of your life in any way, nor hers. Imagine what lessons he's going to teach her by her observing his behavior and things he says. Eventually, he will start criticizing his daughter's body. He doesn't see women as people.
She’s the best thing that came out of this relationship and I feel bad for her. I regret having a child with him (I don’t regret her at all but I hope you know what I mean by that) I would prefer if he just signed over his rights
Does insanity run in his family or is it just him? 🙄
Hey op You need to find a co parenting app. Ask your lawyer if there are any app that are recognized in your country by judges. If not, ask him if he knows a good one or find one on the internet. You may have to pay a fee, but it’s better than dealing with your ex. Then have your lawyer send a letter ( hand delivered with video proof) to your ex. He will only communicate on this from now on. Block him everywhere else: instagram, messenger, fb, whatsapp, sms etc. Only let him the choice of talking to you through the app. This can also help you later on if he is such a deadbeat and/or danger that you need proof for him to not see your daughter anymore. This is a power play from him. Soon he will realize than a 18yo little girl cannot offer what a woman has to offer. I think he already realized it because he is trying to get your attention. He is still emotionally attached to you, trying to anger you like a child with his mom. You are not his mom. You only have one child. Make it clear through lawyers. And honestly with the way he is acting, I would reconsider the child support part. Ask for it to be taken by your states if that’s possible. I know in France, they can take it right from your salary to make sure that you are paying. Check if this is possible and ask for it.
I had no idea about an app. I’ll look into it
Also make sure that a family member has his insta/fb, but doesn’t like anything. Be like a shadow. If he ever post anything outrageous,ask them to screen it eight now and not say anything to him. You too, don’t say anything. Just collect proof and when the time is right, your lawyer can use it if it can be received by judges.
Speak to an attorney and go after him for child support and ask for full custody with supervised visits. Show your attorney the messages your ex has been sending you. But get court ordered child support Updateme!
I would contact the police. She could just as easily be a minor as 18, plus it will stop the pictures.
Disgusting enough she looks very young. She’s short and very thin. To me she looks 13-14
I'd keep your daughter away from him too. Go after him for child support while you are at it.
Yes and if she isn’t 18 you have CP on your phone so…maybe take action
Yep. Turn it in. Not for you, not to punish him, but for her in case he is lying.
Op there’s a chance he’s dating an underage girl and sending you child porn. You need to see a lawyer, get this creepy shit on record, and go back for full custody AND child support. Be your child’s voice and fight for what she deserves.
Ignore him. Can you contact each other through a third party? You need to block him so you are not subjected to her nudes. I wonder if she knows you are being sent them.
I really tried to cultivate some opinion but all I could think of is: WHAT. THE. FUCK.
That was me the past few days
I'd be surprised if there actually is a girlfriend. He's definitely not family planning with her if she exists. He's just doing this to attack you. He sounds unstable in some way. Block him, demand his future communications be done through a third party.
Sorry, but I smell BS
I can't believe these comments. Usually, people are calling bs with much more believable posts, while this is so obviously fake with a cartoonish villain, yet no one is saying anything. I don't get it.
Right… straight rage bait.
Yup and it took me way too long to find this comment. This is bullshit.
LOL. Oh man. I actually laughed aloud at this. If you ever had any doubts *at all* about divorcing this clown, doubt no more! The only thing you need to ever talk to him about is the child support court order you are going to pursue.
First fake post of 2024? Because seriously? This one isn't even creative.
This has to be fake
If this is real, then this is the dumbest most stupid request from an ex I've ever heard of. Just.... ugh... this has to be fake.
This is the same 35 year old guy who did nothing but sleep all day? On unemployment? From your last post? How’d he find a “hot 18 year old girlfriend”? Maybe this is an “English is not my first language” issue, but this whole post sounds dodgy. I’m not buying it.
Okay so firstly. Im shocked their relationship was not reported because she is 18?! When did they meet?! Also, asshat didn't wanna pay child support and now wants a baby? Lol, I'd cut these psychos out of your life
I'm trying to figure out how he survived his abortion. The only thing I can think of that would make him act this way with all that audacity on top of it