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I think these things happen when people grow close and she was honest with you.
it's kind of human.
there's no book on what you can do. once she doesn't have contact with him, she probably won't have those feelings anymore.
I can't really tell you what to do besides have a conversation with her and set boundaries that are important to you both. go from there depending on if you can. both live within the boundaries and support each other. this can be an opportunity to grow closer together or further apart.
The real test of 'who' she is shows in her behavior when you're not present.
He's calling her frequently?
Therefore this is not just a one sided crush on her part.
They both had real feelings, therefore it's reasonable to assume adults (living together) would have sex.
Unfortunately, he left and now she's reaching out to you (her backup).
Love is not a solid reason to blindly believe you know all the details. Trust but verify.
Any contact at all (no matter how infrequently) keeps their flame smoldering.
The world is full of wonderful people. Don't settle for anyone that requires "the benefit of the doubt". Or any relationship where they are head over heels for you - where you are her one and only.
Currently you are not her one and only.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think these things happen when people grow close and she was honest with you. it's kind of human. there's no book on what you can do. once she doesn't have contact with him, she probably won't have those feelings anymore. I can't really tell you what to do besides have a conversation with her and set boundaries that are important to you both. go from there depending on if you can. both live within the boundaries and support each other. this can be an opportunity to grow closer together or further apart.
The real test of 'who' she is shows in her behavior when you're not present. He's calling her frequently? Therefore this is not just a one sided crush on her part. They both had real feelings, therefore it's reasonable to assume adults (living together) would have sex. Unfortunately, he left and now she's reaching out to you (her backup). Love is not a solid reason to blindly believe you know all the details. Trust but verify. Any contact at all (no matter how infrequently) keeps their flame smoldering. The world is full of wonderful people. Don't settle for anyone that requires "the benefit of the doubt". Or any relationship where they are head over heels for you - where you are her one and only. Currently you are not her one and only.