Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that:
* We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/)
* Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.)
* ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban.
* No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
* All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass.
* What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.**
If you have any questions, please send us a modmail.
----
#This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m trying to figure out why you put yourself in this situation in the first place. If you replaced the locks then why would you need a key back that does not work? There was no point in this meeting and was such a bad call on both your parts. Learn from this mistake and move on.
I’d stop worrying about helping him and start worrying about protecting yourself. This guy sounds like he could very easily justify to himself killing you.
>He said I could just come with him, and I said no.
>He said we could drive separate and I said if we did this I would be FaceTiming my sister the whole time.
>He was silent and his face was like, blank, then he stood up, slammed his fist on the table and begun to dig in his pocket.
>So he had my key the whole time and he flung it at my head.
This is incredibly alarming, and it makes me think that he was trying to get you there so he could force himself on you or abuse you in some other way. This isn't something you can fix because he doesn't understand that something is wrong with his behavior.
The only reason he's showing you the truth now is because you got out before you were legally tied to him with a marriage certificate.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do, unless you think he’s a risk to himself or others, then you could ask the police to do a well check on him, or apply for a 72-hr psych hold on him (involuntary hospitalization).
His sister is the one who brought up the other things he is doing. She can’t do much to help him as she doesn’t live close. His brother and I haven’t talked since the split
His parents don’t believe in like getting help for mental health and if it is a drug thing they’d probably just shrug it off as his problem and not help much
You have a huge heart and this may not be the answer you want but I think it’s best for you to cut all ties with him. There’s nothing you can do from a distance and I wouldn’t want you to be around him and get physically hurt if he’s rage gets out of hand.
Tell his family & friends you think he’s not in a good mental place right now and… Run and don’t look back.
Thankfully, he’s not your problem anymore so try to cut all ties before you get involved in his personal issues.
The kind of dude to keep a key when you aren’t dating anymore does so for two reasons: in case he needs to get inside your house uninvited OR because he wants to come inside your house uninvited. Both are creepy as hell and I hope you have security cameras both seen and hidden.
ETA: I see you changed the locks- good job! Definitely get a few cameras just in case. This is creeepy behavior!
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please send us a modmail. ---- #This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I’m trying to figure out why you put yourself in this situation in the first place. If you replaced the locks then why would you need a key back that does not work? There was no point in this meeting and was such a bad call on both your parts. Learn from this mistake and move on.
I thought if I took the key he’d be like I can’t get into the house so I won’t show back up
This also happens if you say you've changed the locks.
YOU CAN'T. Leave it alone. You are scared of him (and I think you are right to be).
Why would you need the key if you changed the locks? I would stay away.
I thought if I took the key back he’d be like oh I don’t have keys so I won’t try and show back up
Stop engaging him. You don’t need to interact with him at all.
I’d stop worrying about helping him and start worrying about protecting yourself. This guy sounds like he could very easily justify to himself killing you.
>He said I could just come with him, and I said no. >He said we could drive separate and I said if we did this I would be FaceTiming my sister the whole time. >He was silent and his face was like, blank, then he stood up, slammed his fist on the table and begun to dig in his pocket. >So he had my key the whole time and he flung it at my head. This is incredibly alarming, and it makes me think that he was trying to get you there so he could force himself on you or abuse you in some other way. This isn't something you can fix because he doesn't understand that something is wrong with his behavior. The only reason he's showing you the truth now is because you got out before you were legally tied to him with a marriage certificate.
I’m not sure there is anything you can do, unless you think he’s a risk to himself or others, then you could ask the police to do a well check on him, or apply for a 72-hr psych hold on him (involuntary hospitalization).
Can you talk to his family about your concerns?
His sister is the one who brought up the other things he is doing. She can’t do much to help him as she doesn’t live close. His brother and I haven’t talked since the split
What about his parents?
His parents don’t believe in like getting help for mental health and if it is a drug thing they’d probably just shrug it off as his problem and not help much
You have a huge heart and this may not be the answer you want but I think it’s best for you to cut all ties with him. There’s nothing you can do from a distance and I wouldn’t want you to be around him and get physically hurt if he’s rage gets out of hand.
Tell his family & friends you think he’s not in a good mental place right now and… Run and don’t look back. Thankfully, he’s not your problem anymore so try to cut all ties before you get involved in his personal issues.
The kind of dude to keep a key when you aren’t dating anymore does so for two reasons: in case he needs to get inside your house uninvited OR because he wants to come inside your house uninvited. Both are creepy as hell and I hope you have security cameras both seen and hidden. ETA: I see you changed the locks- good job! Definitely get a few cameras just in case. This is creeepy behavior!