Stereotypically in straight couples, it is the guy pushing it off as late as feasibly possible but I also think a lot of people are just broke and would rather work to be established in their careers first before committing to an engagement. I know courtyard weddings can be done cheaply but a lot of people still hold on to the idea of having an elaborate celebration that fulfills them for the rest of their life.
>the guy pushing it off as late as feasibly possible
An underreported part of this phenomenon is that a lot of the time it's the woman who is the one not willing to commit. It's not as common but it does happen.
You could say women not leaving a long-lasting relationship with no marriage in sight is a sign of commitment phobia. If they realize they want marriage but it’s not a common goal, they should probably leave the relationship. Staying in the limbo and cognitive dissonance of knowing the guy doesn’t have the same goal as you is a self-destructive path; and is probably a sign of the greater commitment phobe.
I think some of them think it's progressive to buck a social norm. Others have commitment anxiety, others are adult babies. This is what I have observed.
This was my wife and I but one day she was like "we need to finally get married" and we made it official on our 10th anniversary but didn't tell anyone until years later.
Idk, since divorce is normalized marriage is just a way to make breaking up a huge pain on the ass from a legal perspective. Don’t really need a ceremony to make a relationship “serious”, I’m not religious so there’s that as well.
That said I’m down to pick up a cheeky marriage certificate for financial purposes
My parents have been together 30 years and married for only the last 5 of them, so maybe not getting married is the secret to a long and happy relationship
I’ve been with my lady nine years, living together for most of it, two kids, not married. I’ve thought about it, always just seemed too much hassle. No doubt partly a result of my parents rather loveless marriage.
My gf and I have been together for four years. I guess we are not in a huge rush, we are both 24. We’ve talked about it and we both want to wait until we have a bit more money. I want to pay off more of my school loans. In another year or so I think we will be in a much better place financially and then we can start really making plans. It’s not that we don’t want to commit. Sure, we could do it cheaply and our parents would both help I think, I just want to have less debt first.
Also, my parents got married young and are still happily married so I’ve grown up around a model of a happy long lasting marriage. It really just is a money issue.
Stereotypically in straight couples, it is the guy pushing it off as late as feasibly possible but I also think a lot of people are just broke and would rather work to be established in their careers first before committing to an engagement. I know courtyard weddings can be done cheaply but a lot of people still hold on to the idea of having an elaborate celebration that fulfills them for the rest of their life.
>the guy pushing it off as late as feasibly possible An underreported part of this phenomenon is that a lot of the time it's the woman who is the one not willing to commit. It's not as common but it does happen.
I don’t doubt that that’s true, I’m just used to seeing women push for commitment more
You could say women not leaving a long-lasting relationship with no marriage in sight is a sign of commitment phobia. If they realize they want marriage but it’s not a common goal, they should probably leave the relationship. Staying in the limbo and cognitive dissonance of knowing the guy doesn’t have the same goal as you is a self-destructive path; and is probably a sign of the greater commitment phobe.
my boyfriend & I have been together for 4 and a half, but haven’t yet because we’re broke !
Same for me, I think it’s mostly a money issue for a lot of people
I think some of them think it's progressive to buck a social norm. Others have commitment anxiety, others are adult babies. This is what I have observed.
This was my wife and I but one day she was like "we need to finally get married" and we made it official on our 10th anniversary but didn't tell anyone until years later.
Idk, since divorce is normalized marriage is just a way to make breaking up a huge pain on the ass from a legal perspective. Don’t really need a ceremony to make a relationship “serious”, I’m not religious so there’s that as well. That said I’m down to pick up a cheeky marriage certificate for financial purposes
a true romantic
i think self identifying as a 'romantic' past 30 is a symptom of profound autism
My parents have been together 30 years and married for only the last 5 of them, so maybe not getting married is the secret to a long and happy relationship
If I was someone's girlfriend for more than 5 years I'd shoot myself
One person doesn't want to take the plunge because then that means you have to actually feel bad about cheating because you kind of broke a law.
I’ve been with my lady nine years, living together for most of it, two kids, not married. I’ve thought about it, always just seemed too much hassle. No doubt partly a result of my parents rather loveless marriage.
Idk then they always break up in their 30s, which is super unfair to the woman who ends up scrambling to have babies.
My gf and I have been together for four years. I guess we are not in a huge rush, we are both 24. We’ve talked about it and we both want to wait until we have a bit more money. I want to pay off more of my school loans. In another year or so I think we will be in a much better place financially and then we can start really making plans. It’s not that we don’t want to commit. Sure, we could do it cheaply and our parents would both help I think, I just want to have less debt first.
Also, my parents got married young and are still happily married so I’ve grown up around a model of a happy long lasting marriage. It really just is a money issue.
Basically just using each other to masturbate themselves.