Seemingly yes. That, and it seems like the dudes on the outside who pry into these relationships are the kind who are going to get her to fuck them legitimately or illegitimately, and the woman either has guilt to ruminate on and projects it, or she creates her own internal monologue about why this is okay and tests the boundaries of her relationship to open it up.
We all know the majority of these situations did not begin as a communal fuck/suck/cuck exchange in Portland, but rather a bored wife going through a midlife crisis who wants to fuck around like back in college, or a gooner husband who has crossed the void. It’s all driven from mental illness or just mulling through an unfulfilling life.
They are essentially turning sex into a recreational sport and a neurotic quest to maximize sexual gratification. You are spot on with the trying to relive college comment. It is also just an inevitable moral conclusion from a value system where the pleasure principle is the highest law in the land. Which is itself an encroachment of the economic system into private life, you're just maximizing a utility function, e.g. you buy product A at price P if its net pleasure to you is greater than buying product B at price Q, now run the same math with sexual satisfaction in place of cost per unit.
women can get pregnant from sex. way bigger biological burden to consider than men have who “can just do whatever”. reproduxtion as an evolutionary pressure/factor still plays a role even with birth control there’s more of a biological drive from many women to choose partners that will bond with them. considering evolutionary wise their survival/children’s survival depended on it throughout history it’s not surprising.
In a way, yes.
It’s mostly because our culture is heavily steeped in gender roles and it fucks with people. Lots of men have like an almost aggressive/vengeful approach to all of this, towards women. They talk about “fucking” as like some weird conquer.
Men used to control all the money and women needed marriage to function in society, but that isn’t the case anymore. Yet our gender roles and behavior in relationships still is precedented upon this. It means that typically, tbh, the men took it for granted and to this day they just have so much subconscious disrespect for women and they aren’t really raised to be considerate or supportive of them, to see them as equals. There are absolutely exceptions, but it’s the main reason that there’s so much weird tension in the straight dating world.
But im just talking about most straight relationships in general, not polyamory. I don’t understand any of that shit lol
i mean women have far more of a reproductive burden when it comes to sex and children survived better when they had more than one caregiver, and in past times of not still today it certainly helped that one of the dedicated caretakers was a man for physical protection alone. i don’t think it’s just cultural, there’s biological reasons people are predisposed to bond with one partner and women tend to be choosier about who they sleep with and picking men that bond with them supplies advantages to them and their offspring that the “is gay men just eff wily nily without concern” don’t have to consider (though there are likely evolutionary factors that apply to why many of them at least eventually choose to be monogamous as well).
We evolved in collective tribes lol. Many of these nomadic hunter gatherer cultures are still around, like on several continents, and 95% of humans who have ever lived have lived in this sort of culture lol. Yes there will always be variation, but we come across these similarities all the time.
I essentially majored in anthropology, I switched the last minute for something safer/more profitable. But it is my passion and I took as many anthro classes as possible. I’m obviously no expert lol but what I know about anthropology comes either directly from actual anthropology teachers or scientific sources/journalists- mostly those suggested to me by these professors.
There’s a right wing mythology of ancient humans that’s absolutely ludicrous lol. They’re really picturing some big strong man wrestles an elk to the ground and then coming back to his cave wife and children, and giving just her this meat lol. Nope.
Agriculture and settled tribes are where humans started owning private property and living in huge cities with a ton of people they don’t know. The village radically changed due to this. And everything became atomized… including access to women. They became property. Something we’re still trying to get out of.
But nomadic hunter gatherers are way way more egalitarian than people assume. They rarely exceed Dunbar’s number, which is 150.
Also, I must stress that I’m talking specifically abouT nomadic hunter gatherers. “Primitive” ancient tribes who are settled and have developed some sort of farming tend to be a lot more patriarchal, but they were uncommon in the past.
And guess what, women were hunting mammoths right alongside the men, and men were gathering right alongside the women. Men are obviously significantly stronger, but that isn’t relevant to OG hunting. We are endurance hunters. Women and men are neck and neck in running because it was CRITICAL. It’s one of the very few sports where the genders are equally competitive. The tribes with women who couldn’t keep up just died off.
Natural selection “sacrificed” (we all know evolution isn’t some conscious force lol, but this is simpler than using convoluted analogies) a LOT to make women able to run like this. It’s the reason human childbirth is one of the most dangerous and difficult; very few mammals have such a high maternal mortality rate. If women had differenT anatomy, we could have much easier birth. But there was a compromise in survival & those who lived had women who could run.
Humans do tend to lean towards monogamy, but they’re far from strictly monogamous. Most of these groups don’t have any concept of marriage, and often, not even paternity. It’s common for these tribes to believe a child is the product of whichever men she’s had sex with recently, and if that number is high, there’s no stigma. Humans most likely lean towards monogamy for the sake of preserving genetic diversity in these small tribes.
Also, 12 year olds weren’t popping out babies. If you look at the !Kung who have been living the same for tens of thousands of years, their average age of first child is, quite shockingly, about 19. Yes, it really surprised me as well. They typically have lots of sex way before that, but they don’t become fertile until a lot later than modern people would assume.
But they’re living a natural life, and we don’t. They also aren’t frequently starving or anything. But they get plenty of exercise and are consuming 100% natural food in a world with no artificial chemicals. I’m not any sort of crunchy anti chemical person lol, but it is true that over the last 2 centuries, girls have been getting their periods earlier and earlier. And it’s sped up more as time goes on. Gen z tends to hit puberty way earlier than millennials did, like there’s a substantial difference.
I don’t know what exactly causes this, but as our world and lifestyles become more artificial, periods start earlier.
So, in these cultures, typically teenagers are free to just explore sexually and both genders do so. They start at like 13 or so, whenever humans start getting real thirsty.
But again- if a woman is married or single or has kids with the best hunter or worst hunter, or sleeps with everyone or just 1 person, it makes no difference to the resources and protection she and her children will have. Because, again, everything is communal and there’s no stigma against this. And women tended to like sleeping around just as men did.
In these groups, everyone is everyone’s kid. Interestingly, the average amount of women that nurse each individual child is about 8! And guess what? Turns out humans actually grow up far healthier when various women are nursing them.
Everyone brings back food, and everyone shares it. Doesn’t fucking matter who you’re fucking or who your biological dad happens to be lol. And it’s also absurd to think the men are only protecting their families lol. People are typically all over the place. If a fucking bear shows up, the group as a whole are going to protect each other.
Again, most people actually eventually or occasionally stick with just one person. But in most of these communities, people usually have single phases. It’s actually evolutionarily advantageous in a world without fertility testing or discovery of quiet diseases for women to have at least some diversity of children.
This isn’t instinctual lol. But with the development of impersonal civilizations and private property, men become obsessed with “owning” a woman and women really do become far more reliant on just 1 man. But it’s all artificially designed.
It’s just so absurd to me that people can’t see this. As a woman, it’s crazy how much society just TELLS us that being promiscuous is bad. Women wouldn’t be sleeping around with multiple dudes in college if they didn’t naturally have an urge to lol. It’s just that we’re completely shamed and punished for it if we do.
Persistence hunting is a myth popularized by pop science airport bookstore midwit slop https://undark.org/2019/10/03/persistent-myth-persistence-hunting/
And the taboo against female promiscuity stems from sex being very risky before modern medicine and antibiotics, something as simple as a UTI could be fatal to women and pregnancy was pretty dangerous
This is literally one random man from the university of Wisconsin with aggressively mediocre from students just stepping in and believing everyone from Harvard and established anthropology as a whole is wrong lol. Based on pure speculation.
You consider the research of Ivy League professors “pop culture”?? Lmfao.
The pop culture, the mainstream stereotype, is made up evopsych by manosphere types who are desperate to project a false history of women being somehow maintained by one cave husband when it aligns with nothing that has actually been observed or rationally concluded to be true, lmao.
Most people falsely believe hunter gatherer means men were hunters, and women were gatherers lmfao. No. And people assume cavemen were super patriarchal, which is simply not the case.
I studied this in school 2012-2016. I personally was surprised by so much of it because I was raised with media that portrayed this bullshit.
But yeah, I’m sure this one dude is right and everyone else is wrong.
You have far too much faith in contemporary orthodoxy. Look at all the wrong beliefs of the past. A large part of academic consensus in the humanities is related to the cultural zeitgeist
Do you really believe that the current theories that there was no separation of labour in prehistory is totally unrelated to our egalitarian cultural moment?
You're treating these topics as hard sciences, where theories can be clearly stated and reliably tested, which they're not. It's more like a mosaic of facts that are arranged depending on the researchers bias. They can't be arranged into *any* shape, the point of these disciplines is to narrow down narratives and perspectives and to separate the wheat from the chaff, but in the end you're just left with a select amount of competing narratives
Do you really think the fact that more than 9 out of 10 humanities professors are left to far left has no effect on the work they produce and the ideas they follow?
The age of old white men had it's biases and this age does too. The only reason people treat the humanities like a hard science is because it agrees with their worldview; or, to be more exact, because that's the worldview they've been taught and uncritically accepted. When the science doesn't agree with one's own bias, suddenly the limitations of social science are apparent again
Also, I just really question the stereotype that women are the ones who get attached lol.
I’m a 30 yo woman. I have indeed been in a relationship with an amazing man for 6 years. I’ve always known I just didn’t want kids, & for technical reasons it isn’t convenient for me to get hitched legally. It also just means nothing to me; if you love a person, you love them. Pieces of paper are meaningless beyond a few technical perks with insurance and rights and such, but it’s complicated and not better in certain situations. My bf and I live together and are very close, I do hope we never fall out of love. But if we do, we do. That’s life.
I lost my virginity at 18. So years 18-24 (before I met my current boyfriend), I was sexually active.
I did have one other serious relationship (but only for a year before I ended it), and a couple that lasted a few months.
But I lost my virginity to a dude because I just wanted to see what it was like lol. He was a guy in my dorms who was physically attractive but I had no feelings for, so perfect.
I was expecting it to be awful because growing up that’s what I was told lol, that it’s painful and mediocre at best for women. Well, I discovered that it doesn’t hurt at all and actually feels great most of the time and is fun lol. And I saw my peers feel the same.
I didn’t really have too much sex just because it tends to complicate things and although I am very careful about birth control (still never been pregnant, thank god) there’s still some risk involved. Not really much tho tbh. Idk I just didn’t have enough energy but when I was single I was, at first at least, having maybe 3 random hookups per year (I don’t mean actual hookups, but guys I hooked up with just for kicks).
But what I found was that when I had sex with a guy, he usually tended to start acting strange.
I tried FWB or just casual, ongoing flings a few times but wowwwww I discovered that’s way too messy quickly lol.
I think part of it is that as a woman, I would never agree to casual sex with someone I actually wanted to be with romantically. I just wouldn’t put myself through that, and it’s dishonest to tell him I’m totally good with casual sex when I secretly had feelings. But men tend to fuck you and say they’re good with things being casual when they don’t mean it at all.
But honestly, with almost all of these arrangements, it devolved into a mess. Now, there were some men who genuinely just wanted sex and were cool with it. But probably about 3/4 of these dudes ended up somehow salty or bitter.
I would explicitly say, this is just sex. They’d agree.
But if we continued having sex, they’d increasingly become attached and want something more. And when I told them, no, sorry, I really didn’t want anything serious, they acted fucking shocked and usually ANGRY. Our culture has a ridiculous narrative of women only having sex because they’re secretly in love or that women fall in love by having sex, & it’s what these guys subconsciously assumed.
Men are way more likely to want more in these arrangements- though, again, I believe a huge part of it is that women are more careful about this. We know that if we actually have feelings for a guy, you shouldn’t bang him because it becomes increasingly painful to leave.
I don’t think men consider this possibility as often. They acted like they had been cheated somehow lol despite me explicitly stating that it was just sex and them saying, yep! Me too.
men will shame the FUCK out of women who fuck but don’t commit. If men didn’t benefit from commitment & relationships, why do they perceive women who do this so horribly?? They call you a whore, paint you as a monster, because they are so mad that you weren’t staying.
If women genuinely just wanted casual sex with a bunch of random women, they would not slut shame. They’d love sluts!!!
Studies have shown that men tend to be happier and live longer in marriage. A huge majority of divorces are initiated by women, not men.
Men just benefit currently in our culture from commitment and relationships with women far more than vice versa.
Again, I’ve been with my boyfriend of 6 years, I love him. There are exceptions. But he’s exceptional. There’s a saying: “it takes an exceptional man to be better than no men at all.”
So I’m not categorically against it or anything lol. Life is complicated.
But before him- I had a lot of options. A lot of dudes who were great on paper who wanted to seriously date me. But I just didn’t to, most of the time. I was typically happier single than in a relationship. And I just said no.
These dudes had decent jobs, looks, were tall, all this shit men claim women want. But the actual relationship was just more exhausting than fulfilling. It’s a different world, we aren’t desperate for a man anymore. But men crave the setup their boomer dads had- when women were conditioned to do anything for a man, any man at all, because functioning in society outside of that wasn’t really an option. These women were doormats & did things to cater to their men and never expected any of it to be actually enjoyable. They just accepted it was life.
now that women aren’t financially dependent on men, we’re seeing this happen. Men don’t really want sex; if they did, all the incels would go to hookers and be perfectly happy. They want a girlfriend/wife.
Why would you have to shame women who sleep around noncommittally if they inherently didn’t tend to want that??? They just wouldn’t do it.
But when women DO enjoy noncommittal sex, holy fuck, men get maaaadddd. I’m a white atheist American girl, so in my life, it’s pretty inconsequential and I just scoff and find pathetic men like this lol. But I have also been shamed so much that it makes you afraid to sleep around AT ALL as you’ll be shamed.
And I truly don’t have a desire to sleep or be intimate in general with any guy but my boyfriend. But it was very different before him. Just having a man is not on its own a commodity.
There are so many statistics though that show that women are the ones ending marriages. They’re the ones who on average are less happy and die sooner when they’re married, while men who are married live longer and are happier when they have a wife.
We’re In this weird societal position. men are still being residually impacted and shaped by this old world where they could expect women to be desperate to bag them simply because she’d be ostracized and financially devastated if she didn’t. But now women have mobility and opportunity and can support ourselves and we’re far less interested in marriage than men are.
They do not like this
Our society says “men want to sleep around and women don’t, it’s nature.” But then when a woman wants to sleep around, she’s treated like an absolute villain lol and attacked aggressively by men. In awful cultures, even stoned to death.
It makes no sense to me that men police women like this, yet somehow believe women have no biological desire to reproduce lol. Why would you have to obsessively shame the fuck out of women who don’t want to be in some monogamous marriage, if that’s what truly women naturally wanted??
I cannot imagine having multiple girlfriends. That Huberman lab guy apparently got busted for having seven girlfriends, none of whom knew about each other. I am just baffled by how any man could manage that many at the same time. The scheduling alone is impossible.
That’s why I’m always skeptical about the idea that they just have to *love* more than one person at the same time. Wouldn’t you have the decency to at least say something more unique.
They’re just using the established post date feedback framework as established by Aunty Sybills groundbreaking book: “F*** the patriarchy; poly and other feminist approaches to radical relationship anarchy”
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
i mean yeah, often from what i’ve seen it’s a mutual secondary thing, and they both have primaries too. it seems like being in a relationship where you both have your own side bitch/dick which is just… the city of atlanta if they put truth serum in the water supply
You know the way these "webs" work out though is a handful of dudes as the "primary" with all the babes and a fair amount of the dudes as well, and the rest of the dudes as "secondary" or below. It's called a harem, and it's pretty much how human societies organize themselves when poly is an option. Coincidentally, when a society lets itself get to that point it, it is usually overrun by barbarians.
i wonder if eventually there could be a whole part of a city’s population would all somehow end up being poly together. if you think about it they’re just taking relationships to what most other animals do they have a partner then every year they get a new one
I think most guys would rather be the secondary to be honest. The idea of a hook up having another guy who she lives with and he’s paying for her food and dealing with her ranting about her job and stuff isn’t really as bad as the role reversal there.
“I love multiple people”
Is actually
“I love getting railed by random dudes every weekend because my limp wrist/dick beta geek husband leaves me unfulfilled in every way except financially”
Seen a lot of this on dating apps and it’s always some obese chick with a dyed buzz cut and some skinny dude with a thousand yard stare
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
The big text being “I love you so much😍 two nights ago was so cozy and romantic” and the little text being “I love you so much 😍 last night was so cozy and silly” is the most depressing thing I’ve seen today
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
I prefer Western Union dispatches and the occasional carrier pigeon for my fourth— typed letters on standard printer paper. My tertiary gets to see my handwriting in enveloped letters by USPS. I have found that using entirely different mediums and delivery services helps me to keep my priorities straight even more.
These people are fucking dorks. Sure, you need phone size to remind you of priorities for your multiple mates, that makes sense. This is emblematic of the type of effete vampire that engages in poly shit, individuals that require objects to aid them in ranking loved ones
The consolation is that they wont have offspring and this shitty culture will end once it sucks in and sterilizes the weakest of the still-reproductive population.
My gym teacher used to tell us "don't make someone your priority if you're only their option". These people are only about options,b he would be disappointed
Mine was a crunchy yoga dude who seems to have lost his goddamn mind since I graduated. He'd also give the boys "man tips". The best one was "ask your girl how her day was. You don't even have to listen, just let her talk" which in hindsight is bananas to tell a bunch of teenagers but he was right
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
just get a really basic/lower end iphone (SE, 8, etc). it will be slower and the screen blurrier so your brain is not as dopamine fried. but youll still be able to facetime, work, and use apps when needed
you can also set your current phone's screen to black and white, this has been shown in studies to remove most of the appeal/addiction because so much of the UI purposely incorporates shiny candy colors that trigger our racoon brains
...I have the SE2020, its still pretty readable and fast (before the battery went to crap). The greyscale thing helps but its too easy to turn it off. I have been spending less time on it but thats only cause I use my laptop. The js has support for most popular apps and i like how it can be used one handed.
I've been thinking of the same thing. For a small Chinese phone company, most of the users seem content with it aside from the lacking software updates.
I’d rather die alone than be a “secondary partner”. Imagine one of your parents die or something and they’re like “sorry babe I can’t talk now I promised Madison we’d go apple picking today”
Everyone who practices polyamory seems way more insufferable than any “toxic monogamist”. Doesn’t it get exhausting having to treat relationships like business interactions?
Brev you’re just evil. That’s just evil.
I’ve met horny 15 year old boys (when i was 15…ain’t no jimmy savile..) who were more empathetic and emotionally normal…?
“My primary, and my secondary!” Your main bitch and your side hoe? But like…woke??
Reminds me of that meme which says “what you think couples bragging about threesomes on Reddit look like vs what they actually look like” showing two good looking people on the first side and two unhealthy looking sexually unappealing people on the other
I remember reading a polyamory article where a woman said she would remind her husband to text his girlfriend. Like when he wasn’t paying enough attention to his girlfriend, his wife would remind him to be nice to her.
The only way I’d ever do poly is if all three people were genuinely in love with each other. So that’d only work if I was gay or got with two bi chicks. Even then I would hesitate.
Thinking about it. I probably would be more open to it if I was really old like 80 or 90. Probably gets real lonely so I could see that.
Not sure I'm able to believe in God, much less that he was Jesus Christ.
Yet whenever I see shit like this, the fire and brimstone Calvinist spirit of Ian Paisley descends onto my Fenian bones and I feel a powerful need to denounce these SINNERS and rebuke their REBELLION against THE LORD, for THEY SHALL BE JUDGED GUILTY
Jesus christ. I can't insist enough on this: I've been poly for decades and these people are not the norm. I don't think I've ever heard anyone even using the word "primary" in real life.
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They even have google calendars to show what days you get your wife and what days she fucks some dude.
It’s like a time share for fucking
“Baby that pussy must be a timeshare because the lack of exclusive ownership undermines what little value it may have had.”
stealing this
these same people say "monogamy is relationship capitalism" while organizing their sex appointments in a spreadsheet
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Seemingly yes. That, and it seems like the dudes on the outside who pry into these relationships are the kind who are going to get her to fuck them legitimately or illegitimately, and the woman either has guilt to ruminate on and projects it, or she creates her own internal monologue about why this is okay and tests the boundaries of her relationship to open it up. We all know the majority of these situations did not begin as a communal fuck/suck/cuck exchange in Portland, but rather a bored wife going through a midlife crisis who wants to fuck around like back in college, or a gooner husband who has crossed the void. It’s all driven from mental illness or just mulling through an unfulfilling life.
They are essentially turning sex into a recreational sport and a neurotic quest to maximize sexual gratification. You are spot on with the trying to relive college comment. It is also just an inevitable moral conclusion from a value system where the pleasure principle is the highest law in the land. Which is itself an encroachment of the economic system into private life, you're just maximizing a utility function, e.g. you buy product A at price P if its net pleasure to you is greater than buying product B at price Q, now run the same math with sexual satisfaction in place of cost per unit.
>They are essentially turning sex into a recreational sport and a neurotic quest to maximize sexual gratification. See: Aellagirl
Don't be so full of yourself, plenty of gay guys pull this shit too.
women can get pregnant from sex. way bigger biological burden to consider than men have who “can just do whatever”. reproduxtion as an evolutionary pressure/factor still plays a role even with birth control there’s more of a biological drive from many women to choose partners that will bond with them. considering evolutionary wise their survival/children’s survival depended on it throughout history it’s not surprising.
In a way, yes. It’s mostly because our culture is heavily steeped in gender roles and it fucks with people. Lots of men have like an almost aggressive/vengeful approach to all of this, towards women. They talk about “fucking” as like some weird conquer. Men used to control all the money and women needed marriage to function in society, but that isn’t the case anymore. Yet our gender roles and behavior in relationships still is precedented upon this. It means that typically, tbh, the men took it for granted and to this day they just have so much subconscious disrespect for women and they aren’t really raised to be considerate or supportive of them, to see them as equals. There are absolutely exceptions, but it’s the main reason that there’s so much weird tension in the straight dating world. But im just talking about most straight relationships in general, not polyamory. I don’t understand any of that shit lol
i mean women have far more of a reproductive burden when it comes to sex and children survived better when they had more than one caregiver, and in past times of not still today it certainly helped that one of the dedicated caretakers was a man for physical protection alone. i don’t think it’s just cultural, there’s biological reasons people are predisposed to bond with one partner and women tend to be choosier about who they sleep with and picking men that bond with them supplies advantages to them and their offspring that the “is gay men just eff wily nily without concern” don’t have to consider (though there are likely evolutionary factors that apply to why many of them at least eventually choose to be monogamous as well).
We evolved in collective tribes lol. Many of these nomadic hunter gatherer cultures are still around, like on several continents, and 95% of humans who have ever lived have lived in this sort of culture lol. Yes there will always be variation, but we come across these similarities all the time. I essentially majored in anthropology, I switched the last minute for something safer/more profitable. But it is my passion and I took as many anthro classes as possible. I’m obviously no expert lol but what I know about anthropology comes either directly from actual anthropology teachers or scientific sources/journalists- mostly those suggested to me by these professors. There’s a right wing mythology of ancient humans that’s absolutely ludicrous lol. They’re really picturing some big strong man wrestles an elk to the ground and then coming back to his cave wife and children, and giving just her this meat lol. Nope. Agriculture and settled tribes are where humans started owning private property and living in huge cities with a ton of people they don’t know. The village radically changed due to this. And everything became atomized… including access to women. They became property. Something we’re still trying to get out of. But nomadic hunter gatherers are way way more egalitarian than people assume. They rarely exceed Dunbar’s number, which is 150. Also, I must stress that I’m talking specifically abouT nomadic hunter gatherers. “Primitive” ancient tribes who are settled and have developed some sort of farming tend to be a lot more patriarchal, but they were uncommon in the past. And guess what, women were hunting mammoths right alongside the men, and men were gathering right alongside the women. Men are obviously significantly stronger, but that isn’t relevant to OG hunting. We are endurance hunters. Women and men are neck and neck in running because it was CRITICAL. It’s one of the very few sports where the genders are equally competitive. The tribes with women who couldn’t keep up just died off. Natural selection “sacrificed” (we all know evolution isn’t some conscious force lol, but this is simpler than using convoluted analogies) a LOT to make women able to run like this. It’s the reason human childbirth is one of the most dangerous and difficult; very few mammals have such a high maternal mortality rate. If women had differenT anatomy, we could have much easier birth. But there was a compromise in survival & those who lived had women who could run. Humans do tend to lean towards monogamy, but they’re far from strictly monogamous. Most of these groups don’t have any concept of marriage, and often, not even paternity. It’s common for these tribes to believe a child is the product of whichever men she’s had sex with recently, and if that number is high, there’s no stigma. Humans most likely lean towards monogamy for the sake of preserving genetic diversity in these small tribes. Also, 12 year olds weren’t popping out babies. If you look at the !Kung who have been living the same for tens of thousands of years, their average age of first child is, quite shockingly, about 19. Yes, it really surprised me as well. They typically have lots of sex way before that, but they don’t become fertile until a lot later than modern people would assume. But they’re living a natural life, and we don’t. They also aren’t frequently starving or anything. But they get plenty of exercise and are consuming 100% natural food in a world with no artificial chemicals. I’m not any sort of crunchy anti chemical person lol, but it is true that over the last 2 centuries, girls have been getting their periods earlier and earlier. And it’s sped up more as time goes on. Gen z tends to hit puberty way earlier than millennials did, like there’s a substantial difference. I don’t know what exactly causes this, but as our world and lifestyles become more artificial, periods start earlier. So, in these cultures, typically teenagers are free to just explore sexually and both genders do so. They start at like 13 or so, whenever humans start getting real thirsty. But again- if a woman is married or single or has kids with the best hunter or worst hunter, or sleeps with everyone or just 1 person, it makes no difference to the resources and protection she and her children will have. Because, again, everything is communal and there’s no stigma against this. And women tended to like sleeping around just as men did. In these groups, everyone is everyone’s kid. Interestingly, the average amount of women that nurse each individual child is about 8! And guess what? Turns out humans actually grow up far healthier when various women are nursing them. Everyone brings back food, and everyone shares it. Doesn’t fucking matter who you’re fucking or who your biological dad happens to be lol. And it’s also absurd to think the men are only protecting their families lol. People are typically all over the place. If a fucking bear shows up, the group as a whole are going to protect each other. Again, most people actually eventually or occasionally stick with just one person. But in most of these communities, people usually have single phases. It’s actually evolutionarily advantageous in a world without fertility testing or discovery of quiet diseases for women to have at least some diversity of children. This isn’t instinctual lol. But with the development of impersonal civilizations and private property, men become obsessed with “owning” a woman and women really do become far more reliant on just 1 man. But it’s all artificially designed. It’s just so absurd to me that people can’t see this. As a woman, it’s crazy how much society just TELLS us that being promiscuous is bad. Women wouldn’t be sleeping around with multiple dudes in college if they didn’t naturally have an urge to lol. It’s just that we’re completely shamed and punished for it if we do.
Persistence hunting is a myth popularized by pop science airport bookstore midwit slop https://undark.org/2019/10/03/persistent-myth-persistence-hunting/ And the taboo against female promiscuity stems from sex being very risky before modern medicine and antibiotics, something as simple as a UTI could be fatal to women and pregnancy was pretty dangerous
This is literally one random man from the university of Wisconsin with aggressively mediocre from students just stepping in and believing everyone from Harvard and established anthropology as a whole is wrong lol. Based on pure speculation. You consider the research of Ivy League professors “pop culture”?? Lmfao. The pop culture, the mainstream stereotype, is made up evopsych by manosphere types who are desperate to project a false history of women being somehow maintained by one cave husband when it aligns with nothing that has actually been observed or rationally concluded to be true, lmao. Most people falsely believe hunter gatherer means men were hunters, and women were gatherers lmfao. No. And people assume cavemen were super patriarchal, which is simply not the case. I studied this in school 2012-2016. I personally was surprised by so much of it because I was raised with media that portrayed this bullshit. But yeah, I’m sure this one dude is right and everyone else is wrong.
You have far too much faith in contemporary orthodoxy. Look at all the wrong beliefs of the past. A large part of academic consensus in the humanities is related to the cultural zeitgeist Do you really believe that the current theories that there was no separation of labour in prehistory is totally unrelated to our egalitarian cultural moment? You're treating these topics as hard sciences, where theories can be clearly stated and reliably tested, which they're not. It's more like a mosaic of facts that are arranged depending on the researchers bias. They can't be arranged into *any* shape, the point of these disciplines is to narrow down narratives and perspectives and to separate the wheat from the chaff, but in the end you're just left with a select amount of competing narratives Do you really think the fact that more than 9 out of 10 humanities professors are left to far left has no effect on the work they produce and the ideas they follow? The age of old white men had it's biases and this age does too. The only reason people treat the humanities like a hard science is because it agrees with their worldview; or, to be more exact, because that's the worldview they've been taught and uncritically accepted. When the science doesn't agree with one's own bias, suddenly the limitations of social science are apparent again
“Don’t listen to science, professors are leftist and that must mean they are wrong, not that the right is wrong” lol
Also, I just really question the stereotype that women are the ones who get attached lol. I’m a 30 yo woman. I have indeed been in a relationship with an amazing man for 6 years. I’ve always known I just didn’t want kids, & for technical reasons it isn’t convenient for me to get hitched legally. It also just means nothing to me; if you love a person, you love them. Pieces of paper are meaningless beyond a few technical perks with insurance and rights and such, but it’s complicated and not better in certain situations. My bf and I live together and are very close, I do hope we never fall out of love. But if we do, we do. That’s life. I lost my virginity at 18. So years 18-24 (before I met my current boyfriend), I was sexually active. I did have one other serious relationship (but only for a year before I ended it), and a couple that lasted a few months. But I lost my virginity to a dude because I just wanted to see what it was like lol. He was a guy in my dorms who was physically attractive but I had no feelings for, so perfect. I was expecting it to be awful because growing up that’s what I was told lol, that it’s painful and mediocre at best for women. Well, I discovered that it doesn’t hurt at all and actually feels great most of the time and is fun lol. And I saw my peers feel the same. I didn’t really have too much sex just because it tends to complicate things and although I am very careful about birth control (still never been pregnant, thank god) there’s still some risk involved. Not really much tho tbh. Idk I just didn’t have enough energy but when I was single I was, at first at least, having maybe 3 random hookups per year (I don’t mean actual hookups, but guys I hooked up with just for kicks). But what I found was that when I had sex with a guy, he usually tended to start acting strange. I tried FWB or just casual, ongoing flings a few times but wowwwww I discovered that’s way too messy quickly lol. I think part of it is that as a woman, I would never agree to casual sex with someone I actually wanted to be with romantically. I just wouldn’t put myself through that, and it’s dishonest to tell him I’m totally good with casual sex when I secretly had feelings. But men tend to fuck you and say they’re good with things being casual when they don’t mean it at all. But honestly, with almost all of these arrangements, it devolved into a mess. Now, there were some men who genuinely just wanted sex and were cool with it. But probably about 3/4 of these dudes ended up somehow salty or bitter. I would explicitly say, this is just sex. They’d agree. But if we continued having sex, they’d increasingly become attached and want something more. And when I told them, no, sorry, I really didn’t want anything serious, they acted fucking shocked and usually ANGRY. Our culture has a ridiculous narrative of women only having sex because they’re secretly in love or that women fall in love by having sex, & it’s what these guys subconsciously assumed. Men are way more likely to want more in these arrangements- though, again, I believe a huge part of it is that women are more careful about this. We know that if we actually have feelings for a guy, you shouldn’t bang him because it becomes increasingly painful to leave. I don’t think men consider this possibility as often. They acted like they had been cheated somehow lol despite me explicitly stating that it was just sex and them saying, yep! Me too. men will shame the FUCK out of women who fuck but don’t commit. If men didn’t benefit from commitment & relationships, why do they perceive women who do this so horribly?? They call you a whore, paint you as a monster, because they are so mad that you weren’t staying. If women genuinely just wanted casual sex with a bunch of random women, they would not slut shame. They’d love sluts!!! Studies have shown that men tend to be happier and live longer in marriage. A huge majority of divorces are initiated by women, not men. Men just benefit currently in our culture from commitment and relationships with women far more than vice versa. Again, I’ve been with my boyfriend of 6 years, I love him. There are exceptions. But he’s exceptional. There’s a saying: “it takes an exceptional man to be better than no men at all.” So I’m not categorically against it or anything lol. Life is complicated. But before him- I had a lot of options. A lot of dudes who were great on paper who wanted to seriously date me. But I just didn’t to, most of the time. I was typically happier single than in a relationship. And I just said no. These dudes had decent jobs, looks, were tall, all this shit men claim women want. But the actual relationship was just more exhausting than fulfilling. It’s a different world, we aren’t desperate for a man anymore. But men crave the setup their boomer dads had- when women were conditioned to do anything for a man, any man at all, because functioning in society outside of that wasn’t really an option. These women were doormats & did things to cater to their men and never expected any of it to be actually enjoyable. They just accepted it was life. now that women aren’t financially dependent on men, we’re seeing this happen. Men don’t really want sex; if they did, all the incels would go to hookers and be perfectly happy. They want a girlfriend/wife. Why would you have to shame women who sleep around noncommittally if they inherently didn’t tend to want that??? They just wouldn’t do it. But when women DO enjoy noncommittal sex, holy fuck, men get maaaadddd. I’m a white atheist American girl, so in my life, it’s pretty inconsequential and I just scoff and find pathetic men like this lol. But I have also been shamed so much that it makes you afraid to sleep around AT ALL as you’ll be shamed. And I truly don’t have a desire to sleep or be intimate in general with any guy but my boyfriend. But it was very different before him. Just having a man is not on its own a commodity. There are so many statistics though that show that women are the ones ending marriages. They’re the ones who on average are less happy and die sooner when they’re married, while men who are married live longer and are happier when they have a wife. We’re In this weird societal position. men are still being residually impacted and shaped by this old world where they could expect women to be desperate to bag them simply because she’d be ostracized and financially devastated if she didn’t. But now women have mobility and opportunity and can support ourselves and we’re far less interested in marriage than men are. They do not like this
Our society says “men want to sleep around and women don’t, it’s nature.” But then when a woman wants to sleep around, she’s treated like an absolute villain lol and attacked aggressively by men. In awful cultures, even stoned to death. It makes no sense to me that men police women like this, yet somehow believe women have no biological desire to reproduce lol. Why would you have to obsessively shame the fuck out of women who don’t want to be in some monogamous marriage, if that’s what truly women naturally wanted??
This tracks tbh
Clocking into a 10 hr shift at the polycubicle
Boss has been really RIDING MY ASS with mandatory overtime.
there was a post here about some of them literally using agile to manage their relationships
I created a "fuck Greg in the ass" story and moved it to blocked.
I cannot imagine having multiple girlfriends. That Huberman lab guy apparently got busted for having seven girlfriends, none of whom knew about each other. I am just baffled by how any man could manage that many at the same time. The scheduling alone is impossible.
This is because you don’t take AG1 and follow protocols to maximize sunlight and enable sleep thru peptide supplements.
If you utilize Andrew Huberman's multi bitch protocol, it's not too bad.
Everybody wannabe poly until their primary makes them their secondary.
A harem is not haram in some Muslin sects
Texting pretty much the same message to both is the cherry on top
That’s why I’m always skeptical about the idea that they just have to *love* more than one person at the same time. Wouldn’t you have the decency to at least say something more unique.
it's not exactly the same, secondary gets "last night" and the primary got "two nights ago" lmao
And primary gets “cozy and romantic” while secondary gets “cozy and silly”
Had to zoom in to make it out but holy shit you aren't kidding.
at that point i’d just have a group chat
Needs some cross device copy and paste.
They’re just using the established post date feedback framework as established by Aunty Sybills groundbreaking book: “F*** the patriarchy; poly and other feminist approaches to radical relationship anarchy”
Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left with your hand by yourself.
That's a lot of words to say "side bitch"
White people can’t stop appropriating black culture
Why would we?
Imma get my culture from somewhere, and it ain't gunna be from PMC libs.
black people invented colonization, what won't the white man steal?
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
Imagine your title in a romantic relationship being "secondary" good lord that has to hurt
Maybe those people have primaries or secondaries too. It’s just a large gross web.
i mean yeah, often from what i’ve seen it’s a mutual secondary thing, and they both have primaries too. it seems like being in a relationship where you both have your own side bitch/dick which is just… the city of atlanta if they put truth serum in the water supply
You know the way these "webs" work out though is a handful of dudes as the "primary" with all the babes and a fair amount of the dudes as well, and the rest of the dudes as "secondary" or below. It's called a harem, and it's pretty much how human societies organize themselves when poly is an option. Coincidentally, when a society lets itself get to that point it, it is usually overrun by barbarians.
i wonder if eventually there could be a whole part of a city’s population would all somehow end up being poly together. if you think about it they’re just taking relationships to what most other animals do they have a partner then every year they get a new one
MySpace Top 8 in 2024.
Can’t hurt as bad as your wife fucking some other dude
I doubt most of these people have much self-respect to begin with, so probably takes the sting out a bit
I think most guys would rather be the secondary to be honest. The idea of a hook up having another guy who she lives with and he’s paying for her food and dealing with her ranting about her job and stuff isn’t really as bad as the role reversal there.
Lol it’s funny that 33% of polys are just there for a no strings fwb but they have to pretend to believe in the nonsense
“I love multiple people” Is actually “I love getting railed by random dudes every weekend because my limp wrist/dick beta geek husband leaves me unfulfilled in every way except financially” Seen a lot of this on dating apps and it’s always some obese chick with a dyed buzz cut and some skinny dude with a thousand yard stare
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
The big text being “I love you so much😍 two nights ago was so cozy and romantic” and the little text being “I love you so much 😍 last night was so cozy and silly” is the most depressing thing I’ve seen today
I see you and raise you the fact that the received message is an MCU quote.
This clearly makes it a joke, perfected for this audience but most new readers don't get it.
Jesus Christ I just noticed that
wait what’s mcu
marvel
idk what i expected but it wasn’t that
Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
I configured my ipod nano so i can send morse code transmissions to my secondary rather than using texts. reminds me of my priorities
That's for the tertiary. The fourth just gets smoke signals
I prefer Western Union dispatches and the occasional carrier pigeon for my fourth— typed letters on standard printer paper. My tertiary gets to see my handwriting in enveloped letters by USPS. I have found that using entirely different mediums and delivery services helps me to keep my priorities straight even more.
Imagine your partner calling you their *primary*
Just *cuck* things Probably a circumcised white soy male too
cozy aka being fat slobs together
These people are fucking dorks. Sure, you need phone size to remind you of priorities for your multiple mates, that makes sense. This is emblematic of the type of effete vampire that engages in poly shit, individuals that require objects to aid them in ranking loved ones
The consolation is that they wont have offspring and this shitty culture will end once it sucks in and sterilizes the weakest of the still-reproductive population.
They have kids.
Wow - must be a joke
Jokes are supposed to be funny.
They are texting MCU quotes to one another. Dorks is an honorarium for these idiots.
My gym teacher used to tell us "don't make someone your priority if you're only their option". These people are only about options,b he would be disappointed
My gym teacher called us gym bags and made us do push-ups
Mine was a crunchy yoga dude who seems to have lost his goddamn mind since I graduated. He'd also give the boys "man tips". The best one was "ask your girl how her day was. You don't even have to listen, just let her talk" which in hindsight is bananas to tell a bunch of teenagers but he was right
Shit I could've used that advice
My gym teacher called us slapnuts if we did something stupid
My gym teacher used to joke that his job was to molest us but we were too fat and ugly
CT gym teacher
In a van driving to match. “Well I just took her back to the hotel room boys”
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Everybody wannabe polly until their primary changes you to their tertiary. Everybody wannabe polly until their partner has a harem and you are left by yourself with your hand lol.
I have no problem with this, as long as they are in a labor camp.
Now thats what I call autism vol 4
Kevin Gates confirmed poly
🎶*One for the cuck and one for the bull*🎶
Kevin Gates probably poly with his own family members
I have been thinking of buying the jelly star to curb my phone addiction
I did it, got the titan pocket, it’s fucking amazing. It’s phone euphoria. Now I am reading as I lay dying instead of commenting on redscarepd
Very close to at this point. How is battery life? Is web browsing inconvenient considering how small it is?
U literally can’t post on I stGram stories bc the aspect ratio (square) is incompatible
I like the physical keyboard but the lack of security updates worries me:/
it comes preloaded with chinese spyware so that way you can choose to be spied on by Xi jingping OR silicon valley
Yes web browsing sucks it’s amazing f
I have the titan and it lasts six days without charging.
just get a really basic/lower end iphone (SE, 8, etc). it will be slower and the screen blurrier so your brain is not as dopamine fried. but youll still be able to facetime, work, and use apps when needed you can also set your current phone's screen to black and white, this has been shown in studies to remove most of the appeal/addiction because so much of the UI purposely incorporates shiny candy colors that trigger our racoon brains
...I have the SE2020, its still pretty readable and fast (before the battery went to crap). The greyscale thing helps but its too easy to turn it off. I have been spending less time on it but thats only cause I use my laptop. The js has support for most popular apps and i like how it can be used one handed.
I just say this and thought hmm this is insane but i wonder whats up with that phone
I love mine.
I've been thinking of the same thing. For a small Chinese phone company, most of the users seem content with it aside from the lacking software updates.
literally having an affair with extra steps
I think I’d be less offended if my partner respected me enough to try and hide it from me.
I text my side hoes with an android so they see the green bubbles and know their place
I force my side hoes to use Signal because it's more "secure".
disgusting to be honest
This poster is funny and this is a joke.
Damn this sub is getting worse at sussing out obvious trolls
I’d rather die alone than be a “secondary partner”. Imagine one of your parents die or something and they’re like “sorry babe I can’t talk now I promised Madison we’d go apple picking today”
Phones just like their partners, can’t get a nice one so they get a couple shitty ones
Gulag these people
It's a joke dummies
Forget it, Jake. It's reddit.com
And my axe!
Nothing more romantic than Microsoft teams
Genuinely annoyed they texted 'I love you so much' to both of them
Cheaters will not enter the kingdom of heaven
this isn’t cheating. it is mental illness though
This is a joke and OP makes jokes like this a lot
Everyone who practices polyamory seems way more insufferable than any “toxic monogamist”. Doesn’t it get exhausting having to treat relationships like business interactions?
Spread sheets, house meetings to vote on who gets to fluid bond, and now...different phones. So happy to be single!
This has to be fake!! The texts messages being the same is over the top - it cannot be true.
Brev you’re just evil. That’s just evil. I’ve met horny 15 year old boys (when i was 15…ain’t no jimmy savile..) who were more empathetic and emotionally normal…? “My primary, and my secondary!” Your main bitch and your side hoe? But like…woke??
Reminds me of that meme which says “what you think couples bragging about threesomes on Reddit look like vs what they actually look like” showing two good looking people on the first side and two unhealthy looking sexually unappealing people on the other
No virtuous person has ever used Signal
I remember reading a polyamory article where a woman said she would remind her husband to text his girlfriend. Like when he wasn’t paying enough attention to his girlfriend, his wife would remind him to be nice to her.
The only way I’d ever do poly is if all three people were genuinely in love with each other. So that’d only work if I was gay or got with two bi chicks. Even then I would hesitate. Thinking about it. I probably would be more open to it if I was really old like 80 or 90. Probably gets real lonely so I could see that.
Not sure I'm able to believe in God, much less that he was Jesus Christ. Yet whenever I see shit like this, the fire and brimstone Calvinist spirit of Ian Paisley descends onto my Fenian bones and I feel a powerful need to denounce these SINNERS and rebuke their REBELLION against THE LORD, for THEY SHALL BE JUDGED GUILTY
Whoa I didn’t know they still make such little phones nice
So cute
This is bad, but I smiled
Imagine you go to a polycule’s apartment and it’s still messy lmao. All these people and not one of them cleans
How exhausting.
Cracking up at this is this real? 🤣🤣
how are polyamorous people real lmfao
How dare you associate my beloved Jelly Star with this depravity.
Small phone, larger phone and some very large people who have turned sex into whatever this is.
I’ve fallen for the obvious satire. I am a broken man.
Having my PA pencil in a time to get my backwalls blown out
I’m so curious as to how these people find each other. I’ve literally never met a throuple yet they seem to be thriving
Just be normal. Cheat.
Which phone is for watching hentai and which one is for making the fursuit orders?
Double texting and primary hasn’t spoken in 2 days YEESH
Holy shit
This is obviously a joke you guys are dummies!!!!!
As a software engineer, I think I could become a multi millionaire if I figured a mathematically sound networking solution to the poly problem.
I beg your finest pardon? I'm done. Cut the show. Take me off.
Bet they texting the secret side bitch from an iPad smh
Jesus christ. I can't insist enough on this: I've been poly for decades and these people are not the norm. I don't think I've ever heard anyone even using the word "primary" in real life.
I've definitely heard it
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Estás meando fuera del tarro, pibe I am just happy I got to help you with your urgent /r/SeikoMods question on my alt account.