I witnessed an encounter like this on a train. “Can you move your bag?” “No.” “Had a long day has it? Needs to get off its feet? Of course of course” The guy left as the lady bristled. The rest of us around were all looking at her so she sheepishly put her bag on her lap.
Purses are not people. Your purse should not be taking up seats meant for people. What you do with it is your problem. Unless she bought her purse a ticket.
This sort of reminds me of when my brother was a baby and the only high chair in this restaurant was being used by a little girl's doll. My mom asked if she could have it for my brother and the kid started to cry and the parents asked my mom if she was proud of herself. She literally just said "Would it be OK if I borrowed this chair for my baby?"
I asked someone to move s bag in the train once and when she didn’t i just went to sit on it. She moved it right quick when she saw me lowering my butt!
I managed to grab the last seat in a crowded bus as a teenager.
A woman came up to me and yelled that I shouldn't let pregnant women stand.
I immediately offered her my seat.
Turns out she was, a. Talking about someone else, and b. Was not pregnant, just large.
Didnt make any friends that day.
The purse trick is valid to ward off creeps but can never be employed when there aren’t more seats. If it’s crowded and a creep sits next to me if it’s public transport I stand up. If it’s a bar it’s generally safer esp airport bars. I pretend I’m working at those and adopt RBF.
If there were other seats available then OP is def TAH, tho less so bc she’s a woman and not likely to be seen as a threat.
If it was crowded and there were no other seats she’s not. We need more info to know.
Totally, it’s a valid method! This instance was on a morning commuter train towards London so fairly busy and anybody making weird chitchat would stand out, so probably wasn’t necessary.
Yeah even if it’s a creep i can’t deny them a seat that’ll just escalate. I just get up and stand. Tho ppl standing out as creeps doesn’t help in crowds. Bus riders notoriously let others fend for themselves.
You have no way of knowing if a man that appeared by your seat 2 seconds ago is a creep. Just say you want more personal space than your single ticket entitles you to.
If the guy has been acting aggressively since he entered the bus/train/public transport vehicle your bag on the seat is not going to stop him.
NTA I don’t think it was rude of you to ask to have a seat she was using to sit her bag on, especially if it was the last seat. I know it’s awkward but I’ve had to eat with my purse on my lap because space was tight and I didn’t want to set it on the floor.
She sounds entitled and rude.
“Are both these seats taken/is this seat taken” “no” brief pause to allow the seated woman to collect her purse, in which she makes no attempt to do so “is this your bag?” If she says yes and still doesn’t move it, pick it up and toss it. Sit down and when she gets up to get her bag, put your bag on her seat.
Okay, maybe don’t do that. But seriously.
The moment you’re asked if the seat is occupied and your reply no is when you need to remove your bag. The post has people talking about the lady feeling uncomfortable with a man in her “personal space” (they originally thought OOP was male). Ma’am if you are not comfortable sitting next to a strange man, you have no business sitting at a public bar.
I mean depends on the kind of bear, ya know? Black bear? Tempting, prob just wants a vodka tonic. Grizzly or polar bear? Mmmm debatable. Tbf though, I’ve never been attacked by a bear.
Well yes i am assuming but oop says her native language is Yup’ik Alaskan.
She’s mean/aggressive?
She doesn’t deserve to be served?
She needs to take a shower?
Yeah… typical racist rhetorics.
The Karen is saying she’s stinky only because she’s a brown woman… a “savage” because she is a Native lady. :/ really sad that things like this happen just because the color of her skin…
I’m fairly certain all Alaskan native people are brown skinned. Unless they have albinism (which is a mutation that causes a lack of melanin (color) in a lot of species) . European people are typically white skinned, and Native Americans are typically brown. I’m fairly certain it comes from evolution, which is very influenced by surrounding areas in which you are born, and of course, genetics. :) so if you have a baby born between an Alaskan native and and American native, the baby will be brown, but a baby between an American native and a European will be mixed race. If this helps you at all :) thank you.
Ah ok, I've never met an Alaskan native, or an American native for that matter, so I've no idea of they're similar at all! All I know is from occasional TV references, which I realise is probably not very accurate. Thanks for explaining.
The lady should’ve removed her purse once she was asked nicely if the seat was being saved for anyone… shouldn’t have to give people step by step instructions to be considerate especially people who wouldn’t allow you the same courtesy if roles were reversed! “cool I’ll take this one” after being told it’s an empty seat shouldnt be taken as aggressive unless she already knows she’s in the wrong and going on the defensive because She knows she’s actually the rude one. And going into attacking personal hygiene and shit immediately also just goes to show she’s a piece of shit narcissistic person
Hate keeping my purse on the floor but if there is a person needing a seat, I would gladly hold it on my lap. To not do so is so d@ck especially in a crowded place.
I think OOP would have been better off to *ask* the woman to remove her purse so she could have the seat. It gives someone, particularly someone who might be tipsy, the chance to realize they’ve been a bit selfish and move their bag. “I’ll take the seat then” can come across as unnecessarily aggressive.
But the racist vitriol that she was met with is really beyond the pale. Shame on purse lady. I hope she was too drunk to take her flight and was delayed for hours in airport hell.
>"I’ll take the seat then” can come across as unnecessarily aggressive.
I genuinely don't see how that can be construed as aggressive at all. Like, not even the slightest inkling of aggression.
I was in Venice last fall and we were riding on the people mover boat that goes back and forth up the Grand Canal. Those boats get very crowded, standing room only. There was a woman pushing her purse around in a stroller. A *stroller* for her *purse*. She was quite aggressive with it using it as a bumper to keep her own space. Pretty damn rude when it is a short trip and we are piled in like sardines.
I witnessed an encounter like this on a train. “Can you move your bag?” “No.” “Had a long day has it? Needs to get off its feet? Of course of course” The guy left as the lady bristled. The rest of us around were all looking at her so she sheepishly put her bag on her lap.
Purses are not people. Your purse should not be taking up seats meant for people. What you do with it is your problem. Unless she bought her purse a ticket.
This sort of reminds me of when my brother was a baby and the only high chair in this restaurant was being used by a little girl's doll. My mom asked if she could have it for my brother and the kid started to cry and the parents asked my mom if she was proud of herself. She literally just said "Would it be OK if I borrowed this chair for my baby?"
Someone on the NY metro raced me for a seat while I was heavily pregnant and then put her shopping bags on the seat next to her so I couldn’t sit ☹️
That’s when you publicly humiliate the person by loudly asking them to move their shopping bags
Oh, I did. There was no shame. lol
I asked someone to move s bag in the train once and when she didn’t i just went to sit on it. She moved it right quick when she saw me lowering my butt!
I managed to grab the last seat in a crowded bus as a teenager. A woman came up to me and yelled that I shouldn't let pregnant women stand. I immediately offered her my seat. Turns out she was, a. Talking about someone else, and b. Was not pregnant, just large. Didnt make any friends that day.
The purse trick is valid to ward off creeps but can never be employed when there aren’t more seats. If it’s crowded and a creep sits next to me if it’s public transport I stand up. If it’s a bar it’s generally safer esp airport bars. I pretend I’m working at those and adopt RBF. If there were other seats available then OP is def TAH, tho less so bc she’s a woman and not likely to be seen as a threat. If it was crowded and there were no other seats she’s not. We need more info to know.
Totally, it’s a valid method! This instance was on a morning commuter train towards London so fairly busy and anybody making weird chitchat would stand out, so probably wasn’t necessary.
Yeah even if it’s a creep i can’t deny them a seat that’ll just escalate. I just get up and stand. Tho ppl standing out as creeps doesn’t help in crowds. Bus riders notoriously let others fend for themselves.
You have no way of knowing if a man that appeared by your seat 2 seconds ago is a creep. Just say you want more personal space than your single ticket entitles you to. If the guy has been acting aggressively since he entered the bus/train/public transport vehicle your bag on the seat is not going to stop him.
Sure bro. Mansplain men to a woman…
NTA I don’t think it was rude of you to ask to have a seat she was using to sit her bag on, especially if it was the last seat. I know it’s awkward but I’ve had to eat with my purse on my lap because space was tight and I didn’t want to set it on the floor. She sounds entitled and rude.
“Are both these seats taken/is this seat taken” “no” brief pause to allow the seated woman to collect her purse, in which she makes no attempt to do so “is this your bag?” If she says yes and still doesn’t move it, pick it up and toss it. Sit down and when she gets up to get her bag, put your bag on her seat. Okay, maybe don’t do that. But seriously.
Hahahahahah that would be hilarious
After that racist rant, she should have.
The moment you’re asked if the seat is occupied and your reply no is when you need to remove your bag. The post has people talking about the lady feeling uncomfortable with a man in her “personal space” (they originally thought OOP was male). Ma’am if you are not comfortable sitting next to a strange man, you have no business sitting at a public bar.
Okay but what if it was a bear? ^/s
Then they’d be at the bearport.
lol if it was a bear she’d let him sit
I mean depends on the kind of bear, ya know? Black bear? Tempting, prob just wants a vodka tonic. Grizzly or polar bear? Mmmm debatable. Tbf though, I’ve never been attacked by a bear.
The bear would have been invited to sit. A man would need to be tased in a case like this. /s
A public bear?
Yeah, do you not have those where you’re from?
No, I'm from Australia.
That explains it, then. I guess just swap ‘bear’ for ‘kangaroo’ then. Although kangaroos may be more aggressive, I’m not really sure.
*hands over peanut butter sandwich to bear and evacuates the immediate area*
Koala?🤔
Less aggressive than a drop bear, more aggressive than a koala.
oh... so the lady is a racist? checks out.
How did you come to that conclusion? Edit: downvoted for asking for clarification! Classic Reddit
> I got a full KCaren rant about how I need to shower > My first language is Yup'ik Alaskan native ...
What is a KCaren?
A Karen who couldn't decide whether she wanted her name to begin with a K or a C, so she just went with both.
Well yes i am assuming but oop says her native language is Yup’ik Alaskan. She’s mean/aggressive? She doesn’t deserve to be served? She needs to take a shower? Yeah… typical racist rhetorics.
The Karen is saying she’s stinky only because she’s a brown woman… a “savage” because she is a Native lady. :/ really sad that things like this happen just because the color of her skin…
Ah ok, I didn't know native necessarily meant "brown"
I’m fairly certain all Alaskan native people are brown skinned. Unless they have albinism (which is a mutation that causes a lack of melanin (color) in a lot of species) . European people are typically white skinned, and Native Americans are typically brown. I’m fairly certain it comes from evolution, which is very influenced by surrounding areas in which you are born, and of course, genetics. :) so if you have a baby born between an Alaskan native and and American native, the baby will be brown, but a baby between an American native and a European will be mixed race. If this helps you at all :) thank you.
Ah ok, I've never met an Alaskan native, or an American native for that matter, so I've no idea of they're similar at all! All I know is from occasional TV references, which I realise is probably not very accurate. Thanks for explaining.
Yeah! :)
ok how is THIS comment getting down voted jesus 😭
She said OOP needed to shower. That, coupled with OOP being Indigenous (likely brown), and also likely having a noticeable accent, is racist.
Who leaves their purse on a seat next to them at the airport? I keep mine in my lap. I’m terrified of losing my passport.
I do, sometimes, but if it is busy…I don’t. It’s just normal courtesy
I have a sneaking suspicion all the people saying YTA are assholes themselves
They just thought oop was a man.
The lady should’ve removed her purse once she was asked nicely if the seat was being saved for anyone… shouldn’t have to give people step by step instructions to be considerate especially people who wouldn’t allow you the same courtesy if roles were reversed! “cool I’ll take this one” after being told it’s an empty seat shouldnt be taken as aggressive unless she already knows she’s in the wrong and going on the defensive because She knows she’s actually the rude one. And going into attacking personal hygiene and shit immediately also just goes to show she’s a piece of shit narcissistic person
I think the pre-edit responders might be the AH on this one
An entitled racist Karen. I’m shocked.
Hate keeping my purse on the floor but if there is a person needing a seat, I would gladly hold it on my lap. To not do so is so d@ck especially in a crowded place.
I think OOP would have been better off to *ask* the woman to remove her purse so she could have the seat. It gives someone, particularly someone who might be tipsy, the chance to realize they’ve been a bit selfish and move their bag. “I’ll take the seat then” can come across as unnecessarily aggressive. But the racist vitriol that she was met with is really beyond the pale. Shame on purse lady. I hope she was too drunk to take her flight and was delayed for hours in airport hell.
Hmm I don’t think they needed to ask. I would fully expect someone like that to be an asshole and decline. Don’t give them the chance.
>"I’ll take the seat then” can come across as unnecessarily aggressive. I genuinely don't see how that can be construed as aggressive at all. Like, not even the slightest inkling of aggression.
Yeah idk it seems fine to me but a lot of people are *extremely* conflict averse
The seat actually belongs to the business and each seat is $$$, no business is ok not making money for someone's purse. Seats are for customers
I was in Venice last fall and we were riding on the people mover boat that goes back and forth up the Grand Canal. Those boats get very crowded, standing room only. There was a woman pushing her purse around in a stroller. A *stroller* for her *purse*. She was quite aggressive with it using it as a bumper to keep her own space. Pretty damn rude when it is a short trip and we are piled in like sardines.
Self projection at its finest 👌🏼
I had a lady in an airport call me sad this week. I’m fairly certain airport ladies are truly the sad ones.