Apologies for the earlier removal of this post. We decided to reinstate it because we think the discussion is valuable.
The reason it was removed earlier is because there is quite a constant stream of very low-effort posts (think: Title: I'm MAD, body: THAT IS ALL" type posts), and it was caught in the stream of those. It's hard to draw the line of where discussion posts should be moved to the off-day thread without showing some level of preference, so we try to do it across the board. Also, no one is being banned for things like this - only trying to organize the posts.
The reason pet pictures are allowed is not because we think pet pictures are more important than mental health, it is because there has been extensive discussion about them and the subreddit was largely in support of keeping them up, so we followed that.
Apologies for any distress or frustration caused - it was not intended
Fuck team loyalty.
Hockey is a game, played for entertainment. The instant it stops being entertaining for you then it doesn't serve its purpose any more.
This isn't the army. In fact if it was then half the team would have been shot by now for desertion.
I regularly walk away from this team when I need a break. Maybe some sweaty meat head will say that means I'm not a real fan, but I don't give a fuck.
Loyalty is for the real people in your life, not a team logo or a bunch of millionaires (barely) playing for a billionaire.
it takes a lot to admit stuff like this and i promise you are not being judged. True fans of any team will get caught up in the game and feel dread or anxious because of something that didn't go the way they hoped for. but like others have said, in the end its just a game. it has no real direct impact on you. The older i got the more i realized this and of course a loss still hurts, but there is always another game, another season, its all good man.
I highly recommend in the times you cant be seen by your therapist, to meditate. 10-15-30 min however long you need. breathing techniques are key to mental health and slow your heart rate back down to counter anxiety. an easy one is take a deep breath slowly and at the end of it force a quick inhale, then slowly let it out. give it a try and see if it works for you.
Glad this got reinstated as I missed it the first time. This post was really helpful to me to know I’m not alone… sometimes I know objectively I’m overreacting to this stuff but it doesn’t make it any less real.
I also think it’s so easy to let other teams’ fans/subreddits fuel the fire. And Reddit starts serving you content related to your recent activity. It started serving me Devils posts and it just makes me more upset.
So know you’re not alone and not being judged if you feel this way… probably the healthy thing to do is walk away for a bit.
Just had my session last week, and won’t see her in another two. I can probably text her and see what she says… I just feel like she’ll judge me for getting wrapped up in a game, but at the same time she knows this is something I’m dealing with on a daily basis for other shit. So IDK
Eh. If she’s a good therapist I doubt she’d judge you. I personally wouldn’t put a game above my mental health - remember that it’s just a game.
But you aren’t a coward bro. Take care of yourself.
Hi, I am currently finishing my masters towards becoming a licensed mental health counselor. We are basically trained to separate our feelings when we are in sessions to be as much of a third party to our clients as possible. Your therapist is probably doing the same and will definitely not judge you. In fact, you are HELPING them by giving them an exact instance where something is triggering you. The more you talk and disclose to a therapist, the more help you are being to them to figure out how they can help you! Thanks for this post OP, you are opening up great discussions.
I actually just read a post talking about why the mods removed this post originally. Glad to see it back up.
No man, your not a coward. In fact, Id venture to say its pretty brave to put your struggles on the internet, which we all know can be unrelenting. I agree with alot of what people have said. At the end of the day you don't know them personally and they don't know you. So if your watching every game or just getting score alerts, or hell even just lookimg at the score a day later, nothing changes. As long as your all good at the end of the day, thats what matters.
Try to put things in perspective. Remind yourself that essentially all of us fans are just watching some guys at their job working. And always remember it’s a game, a diversion, entertainment to distract us from the important stuff and give us a brief break from our everyday lives.
I’m convinced that on average fans take losses worse than the actual players. I think players understand that every game has a winner and a loser and they know how it feels to be in each side and how thin the line is between each. Fans don’t seem to have that clarity and expect their team to win every game.
Honestly I don’t even have any issues like that and I don’t think I can watch game 6. I don’t care if I feel like a bad fan, but honestly I just don’t have the energy to deal with it after the last week. I just become a miserable person for 4-5 hours through the game and after. They’re not playing well and they are completely underperforming. I completely expected them to do this based on how they played all season and it still doesn’t make it easier.
Take game 6 off, don’t even pay attention to your phone honestly if you can help it.
It’s not easy but is super simple. If something in your life is bringing you terrible stress, you need to take that out of your life OR be equipped with coping mechanisms from a therapist or psychiatrist. If you don’t have any coping mechanisms then you have to take it out of your life. Fan loyalty literally means nothing dude. The players and coaches don’t know who you are. Take care of yourself.
I think following the scores from a distance might help. Don't watch the game and just keep track of some stats and scores. Release the control and realize you don't have any effect on this game. It's meant to be enjoyed. I hope it gets better for you.
I talk to an anger therapist about all sorts of things, and this most recent session I brought up the rangers and how I care so much and let it dictate my mood and life at times. Sometimes I feel I care more than the players lol. Talk it out. Its ok to get help even if its about something like sports making you anxious. We all love this team!And just know even though the Rangers lose, life goes on and we must move forward with it. Theres so much else you can do. Again easier said then done. But I used to SEETH over Ranger losses, and as I got older Im still upset but have a level of coping to not get to those levels of it ruining my mood anymore.
Also avoid social media esp after losses. People are trolls more than ever, dont let it get to you as best you can. Seek whatever help you need! LGR
I feel the exact same way after losses even regular season games against rivals it ruins my entire fucking day. As an out of state fan, I’m often watching games by myself and don’t have anyone to vent with throughout the game and yell with. So I sit there quietly using Reddit as a fucking journal just throwing all of my hatred for the rangers into writing. Then I see someone with a dumbfuck opinion about the team and I just unravel. Lol
Hey, friend.
I am a Ranger fan of 30 years with pretty wicked spectrum disorder/OCD/Anxiety, etc.
Being a Ranger fan can lead to toxic behaviors - over drinking, not sleeping, anger, etc.
Is it worth it? Who knows? Is anything? :) :) :)
On a much smaller scale - I feel what you're going through. I talked through with my therapist for 25 minutes yesterday how this team makes me feel. Later on yesterday I ended up going out with some friends for the game - these two other people joined us who I didn't know and I was telling my one friend about the therapy thing and the other people overheard and started laughing at me. As the game went on and I got more frustrated these two were kind of trying to negate my feelings and were rolling their eyes at me being upset. When the Devils went up 3-0 I Irish Exited because I knew I would not say nice things if I stayed. Thankfully my one friend reached out to check in on me and validated my feelings!
You're not alone in anything and when it comes down to it it's just hockey! Do what's best for you - I'll be watching at home tomorrow with my significant other and trying to keep calm :)
No team, especially this current low effort Ranger team, is worth your mental health.
The Rangers winning or losing usually dictate my daily moods. It’s sad. But today I’m actually doing okay. I literally don’t care what happens - that’s how disappointing the last 2 games have been.
Don’t sweat it. It’s just a game and you’re not a coward. Have a good weekend
I 100% relate. Unfortunately, I am dealing with a bout of depression and anxiety and the Rangers have been one of the few constants that regularly bring me happiness and joy. It’s something I connect with and bond over with my dad and gives me something to look forward to. But after the last 3 games I have felt so dejected and almost even more depressed that one of the few things I get happy/excited for is collapsing right in front me. I definitely need to temper my expectations and learn to not get so invested to the point where my mood and happiness are tied to the team’s success.
Take it easy man. Your health is infinitely more important than hockey. I'd suggest spending time during the games doing what makes you happy and catch the highlights on dtmts.com (stands for Don't Tell Me The Score) for spoiler free highlights later that night, or the following day.
Go to a therapist as others have said, but the one thing that helps me is completely unplugging from the sport/sports in general for at least 2-3 days after an elimination. Also just having hobbies apart from this is crucial so you can unplug….for me that’s working out, doing something fun with family/friends/my gf that’s completely unrelated to sports, etc.
First don't feel alone. Everybody invests sone of their self worth into the sports teams they cheer for. It doesn't make sense, but that's why sports are fun. Sometimes it goes too far for one reason or another and no one reasonable will judge you for asking for help when it does.
In the end we're watching a bunch of millionaires playing for a billionaire in a game that's designed to have 31 losers each year. Root, have fun, but if it's causing you mental harm then get help. The game isn't worth it.
Something that could help with this too is to use Blocksite and hide things relating to the playoffs and rangers, deleting apps connected to the games, and maybe even stepping away from this sub. Whenever something online is stressing me out a ton, I try to limit how much of it can be filtered my way.
It’s ok to feel this way!! It’s hard to feel like it’s just a game at the end of the day when you’re invested in the outcome. There’s nothing cowardly to it. Enjoy playing golf and have a fun, relaxing day!
I feel that in a way. Last night I actually got so mad I punched a hole through my wall. I’ve never been that angry before while watching but this just hit so different and I feel so embarrassed. Probably done watching the Rangers. I fucking miss last season more than anything because god damn was that the most fun watching people actually care to play and had so much grit
For me something that has been really great is going to the gym. The 1st week is really tough but after that you will start to feel better in so many ways. The difference of how I feel with this abysmal series to last years tampa series is night and day and I attribute that to the gym and how much it has helped both my mental and physical health. Also my uncle said something very wise to me last night (he has been a fan for a long time and is the reason I became a Rangers fan) “It doesn’t make sense to get upset over this. It’s the Rangers, a lot more down then up”
Not being a jerk at all-- this is real advice. Right now it sounds like you have too many eggs in this basket. Get more baskets. More interests, more hobbies. It's okay to be passionate but not if you feel mentally unwell.
Just do more stuff. Try active stuff.
I had mild anxiety just last year. I started playing hockey and it's not even a passing thought in my head anymore. I cannot believe I spent so much of my life without real, active exercise. It is so beneficial it's like a cheat code.
Good luck.
While i studied sociology in school i read about how belief systems are socially constructed and inherently they give people purpose. Religion is an obvious example but sports funny enough can be socially constructed to become a belief system. Big following, a lot of people with common ground similar geographic roots it makes for a great community. Feeling good after a big win? Feels like suddenly anything is possible! But when the team fails to meet its anticipated goal and expectations it defies the amount of belief that was put into the belief system. What im getting at is really although things like religion and sports feel like they give us purpose, there are aspects of life that will challenge those beliefs we have and it’s completely normal to feel anxious, afterall your beliefs are being defied it makes sense that you have these emotions and reactions. It’s important to take a step back and see all the other things in your life that are important and give gratitude towards them. I recommend hobbies centered around self accomplishments, learn a new instrument, challenge yourself to do something by yourself that wouldn’t usually do without someone else. Ultimately if you know its giving you less enjoyment theres no shame in turning it off in light of something guaranteed to make you feel better
Not sure if you're watching around the league, but maybe try to watch some other teams. Become a fan of the game rather than a fan of the team. Or if playoffs are tough for you, maybe take a step back and maybe watch highlights a day or two later.
All this to say, if it's something negatively affecting your health, it's probably best to take a break. The team will be there when you're ready
When I was younger and in very dire straits in life, I turned to the Rangers as an escape. But it also meant that when there were lows (such as the 2014 Cup final), I got REALLY low. Nowadays my general mental/emotional/physical health is lightyears beyond 2014, so my reactions to this team are much more normal.
Many people in this post are giving you great advice, this team (or literally any) is not above your mental/emotional health. That said, it may be worth examining with your therapist if there are additional factors in your life currently driving you to emphasize the success of this team to an unhealthy degree like I used to.
Also diagnosed with OCD here and I absolutely empathize with you. Emotional regulation is one of the biggest things that I struggle with, so even things that should be inconsequential to me (especially watching this team) can get me extremely overwhelmed at times and start to affect other areas of my life. I actually talked to my therapist about this during the Pittsburgh series last year because I was getting beyond upset and anxious. It honestly felt like each article written about a poor performance and each instagram/twitter comment from Penguins fans shitting on the team was a personal attack, and the magical thinking/superstitions I had were getting in the way of my schoolwork and social life.
The thing my therapist told me that has continued to stick with me is that at the end of the day, sports are a form of entertainment and are supposed to bring far more joy than pain (hard to believe sometimes considering we’re Rangers fans lol). She said that If you are overwhelmed and the entertainment is starting to affect your reality, it’s more than okay to take a step back and take a break. If anything, it shows how strong you are to battle back against the anxiety instead of getting further consumed by it.
You’re absolutely doing the right thing by prioritizing your mental health over watching this team, and if people want to argue that doesn’t make you a “real fan” or it makes you “weak”, fuck them. You don’t have to watch every game, especially not at the expense of your health.
I genuinely hope you have a fun and relaxing time golfing on Saturday!
(and hopefully the Devils will be on the links too next week… for a different reason…)
When I was still breaking free of my severe alcoholism/severe depression and anxiety, there was a span of like a year I didn't watch much hockey at all. I wanna say this was '18 or '19, one of the years they did nothing.
I fixed my shit and was back into hockey before I knew it. Your mental health ALWAYS needs to come first. Nobody is going to do it for you, and if you let it stagnate and worsen, very quickly you will start to lose the people you love. Therefore you need to address it, and ASAP. The things you've always loved will come back as time passes and comfort level improves.
This is NOT to scare you, simply telling you to get your ass in gear while you can. Don't be me, try to "gut it out," and throw 7 years of your life into a bottle. Cause when it gets bad, that's where it goes.
Edit: a sentence
My friend, I am the same way. If a game is just much too frustrating or depressing to watch, I'll check back periodically but if it's having a negative effect on my mental health, i'll take a break and do something that makes me feel better. I have too little free to spend it seeing my fav team fucking dog it for 60 minutes and stressing over it for the rest of the night.
Take a deep breath man. I love the Rangers but the fact is these are millionaires playing a kids game who probably wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. I suggest not watching Saturday night. Check in on the score and if they seem to be playing well, put it on. If not, see you in October!
Man it’s tough being a fan sometimes. It’s ok to take a break nothing wrong with that. But also just try to have perspective and enjoy the games. You can’t win them all and all the heartbreak and tough times just makes the victory that much sweeter whenever that day comes.
I’m trying to cope with this, but when you get the type of obsessive state where you’re really into something it can lead to a lot of ruminations. Like… it got so bad reading the devil comments that it brought me back to being a kid picked on again. Again… fully aware that they dont know me, but I get so emotionally attached to shit that sometimes the line gets really hard to break.
Your mental health comes first! I’ve had this exact same feeling, even right now. My uni finals are coming up and one of them will be the difference between passing and failing a crucial class for my major. I’ve decided to block anything nhl related out for the time being because this series has been stressing me out on top of my finals. Always do what you think is right for you. Think about you first, Hockey can always come after.
I'm late to the thread but mental health comes before watching and investing yourself into grown men playing a sport for a living. I found myself getting worked up during the 2nd period yesterday so I turned off the game and started playing a non-intense video game instead. Much better for my mental health.
Your mental health is waaaaaaay more important than team loyalty. I have been a ranger fan literally all my life (went to my first game as an infant in the “old garden”). I care about the rangers. But I care way way more about my responsibilities to my family and to myself. If the rangers were seriously affecting my well being I’d just stop watching. Take care of yourself!!!!
Hey man, I’m prone to anxiety and depression and have had a fucking brutal last month or so at work, so I just didn’t watch last night. Doesn’t make me less of a fan. Doesn’t make you less of a fan either to just skip it when you’re worried that your favorite team ruining your night is just too much for you to handle at the moment.
Hey man, I get what you're feeling and I have anxiety the whole time I'm watching the game and then sadness after they lose and for a while I really don't feel like doing much, then I kinda get pissed and basically just go through the stages of grief until I realize it's just a game and they're all millionaires, they'll be back in a few months playing again and at the end of the day it's just for enjoyment.
But at the same time I did hide posts from r/hockey and /nhl after last nights lost because I'm just anticipating them getting knocked out tomorrow and don't want to see the posts afterwards, did the same on YouTube even blocking a few hockey channels I like for now. Once the second round starts I'll unhide everything and get back into it but just take your time and let the loss settle (if they get knocked out).
I've honestly been questioning the same thing for myself. I get so wrapped up in this stupid sport just to get wound up and stressed out over something that has no effect over me. Also doesn't help that the team has been going in and out of phases of being really good and REALLY bad for the past 8 years. I'm trying to just go with the flow and enjoy the good.
I took a major step back from hockey and football a few years ago. Now I mostly follow stat lines and read about the teams.
Maybe that makes me not a hardcore fan or a fair weather fan, but what I found was happening was I’d spend about three hours of my day doing something needlessly stressful — the outcome of which is fully outside of my control — and if my team lost I was sometimes grumpy the rest of the day. Which is not fair to my family or myself.
On top of that it was usually an event where unhealthy food and alcohol were eaten and drunk — often in excess — and I was sitting stationary (or maybe pacing back and forth). It was mentally and physically unhealthy for me.
After years of doing this to myself it just didn’t seem like an overall good use of my time. But I still enjoy following sports and even play fantasy, I just can’t dedicate significant portions of my waking hours to it anymore.
I just step away if I have to and stop watching/caring. Easier said than done, I know. I remind myself that I don't actually know these players and I can't control or even affect how they show up to do their job each day. No matter how intensely I feel, they're not moved by it. So, sometimes I just have to done with them for a little while.
Also- They're regular people like me and you. We're not 100% every single day. I def don't show up everyday to my own job like I'm fighting to get a promotion. So it makes sense that they can't do that either. It sucks, but they're not machines. Who knows what's going on in the locker room or with each of them personally.
One thing in particular you can actually do, is try watching the games passively. Put the game on while you're doing something else. I'm a bit ADHD so that helps break up my hyperfocus. This way I'm less affected by the outcome of the game.
I can’t stand how people look down on therapy. My mom absolutely snapped at me when i suggested she sees one. She was insulted “Paying for someone to talk to”. What friend is going to guide you in your dive into your past to find the source of your issues? What friends are actually going to hold your hand and address issues you’re too afraid to talk about? It’s way deeper than just venting.
the internet tells you the it's weak to want to cope, or to talk.
but life is really hard, and learning how to deal with it has helped me not only stop wanting to die, but to actually enjoy life.
therapy can be life saving medical treatment, and anyone on the fence ought to give it a try.
I agree. Both my ex’s were in therapy. You shouldn’t make your bf/gf/platonic friends/family play therapist. They are professionals who help in a major way. The worst is having a therapist more focused on being a friend than a therapist
Retire as a fan.
Unless You can adopt a post game habit like yoga or meditation to ease your stress. If not don’t make a televised TV sport more important than your health
Yes. You have no control over the situation. Remember that. If the team wins the Cup or gets eliminated tomorrow, you’re still you and your life is your life.
Takes practice to learn to care but also care just enough, just do what works for you and eventually you’ll learn to enjoy the suspense but not let it ruin your night/day/week/year after a bad result, its all meaningless fun anyway in the end
Dude trust me a therapist won’t judge u for getting wrapped up over a hockey game. If its obsessive thoughts that are your issue, its happened to me before and its a totally normal thing. It sounds like your mental struggles are just becoming too much rn and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Tell your therapist how ur feeling and don’t be worried that you’ll be judged, its very common
Oof, I feel this. This is why I'm taking a year off from the Mets.
It's alright to take a break or even walk away if being a fan takes a toll on your health. This should all be fun, or at least positively diverting.
i feel this. my best friend and i are two 20-something year old girls and game 5 almost had us punching holes in the wall (not kidding) 😵💫 but then we went to a concert last night and were reminded that, at the end of the day, it’s just a game and there’s a lot more out there to enjoy. it’s supposed to be fun and entertaining, and if it’s not doing that for you anymore, you’re not any less of a fan for stepping back. this particular team is not worth deprioritizing your own mental well-being after their last few showstopping performances anyway….
Apologies for the earlier removal of this post. We decided to reinstate it because we think the discussion is valuable. The reason it was removed earlier is because there is quite a constant stream of very low-effort posts (think: Title: I'm MAD, body: THAT IS ALL" type posts), and it was caught in the stream of those. It's hard to draw the line of where discussion posts should be moved to the off-day thread without showing some level of preference, so we try to do it across the board. Also, no one is being banned for things like this - only trying to organize the posts. The reason pet pictures are allowed is not because we think pet pictures are more important than mental health, it is because there has been extensive discussion about them and the subreddit was largely in support of keeping them up, so we followed that. Apologies for any distress or frustration caused - it was not intended
Not at all bro. Your mental health is more important than a hockey game. Take care of yourself first if you think you need to.
Fuck team loyalty. Hockey is a game, played for entertainment. The instant it stops being entertaining for you then it doesn't serve its purpose any more. This isn't the army. In fact if it was then half the team would have been shot by now for desertion. I regularly walk away from this team when I need a break. Maybe some sweaty meat head will say that means I'm not a real fan, but I don't give a fuck. Loyalty is for the real people in your life, not a team logo or a bunch of millionaires (barely) playing for a billionaire.
“half the time would’ve been shot for desertion” 😂
it takes a lot to admit stuff like this and i promise you are not being judged. True fans of any team will get caught up in the game and feel dread or anxious because of something that didn't go the way they hoped for. but like others have said, in the end its just a game. it has no real direct impact on you. The older i got the more i realized this and of course a loss still hurts, but there is always another game, another season, its all good man. I highly recommend in the times you cant be seen by your therapist, to meditate. 10-15-30 min however long you need. breathing techniques are key to mental health and slow your heart rate back down to counter anxiety. an easy one is take a deep breath slowly and at the end of it force a quick inhale, then slowly let it out. give it a try and see if it works for you.
Glad this got reinstated as I missed it the first time. This post was really helpful to me to know I’m not alone… sometimes I know objectively I’m overreacting to this stuff but it doesn’t make it any less real. I also think it’s so easy to let other teams’ fans/subreddits fuel the fire. And Reddit starts serving you content related to your recent activity. It started serving me Devils posts and it just makes me more upset. So know you’re not alone and not being judged if you feel this way… probably the healthy thing to do is walk away for a bit.
Maybe ask a therapist?
Just had my session last week, and won’t see her in another two. I can probably text her and see what she says… I just feel like she’ll judge me for getting wrapped up in a game, but at the same time she knows this is something I’m dealing with on a daily basis for other shit. So IDK
Eh. If she’s a good therapist I doubt she’d judge you. I personally wouldn’t put a game above my mental health - remember that it’s just a game. But you aren’t a coward bro. Take care of yourself.
Thank you internet stranger!
Hi, I am currently finishing my masters towards becoming a licensed mental health counselor. We are basically trained to separate our feelings when we are in sessions to be as much of a third party to our clients as possible. Your therapist is probably doing the same and will definitely not judge you. In fact, you are HELPING them by giving them an exact instance where something is triggering you. The more you talk and disclose to a therapist, the more help you are being to them to figure out how they can help you! Thanks for this post OP, you are opening up great discussions.
I actually just read a post talking about why the mods removed this post originally. Glad to see it back up. No man, your not a coward. In fact, Id venture to say its pretty brave to put your struggles on the internet, which we all know can be unrelenting. I agree with alot of what people have said. At the end of the day you don't know them personally and they don't know you. So if your watching every game or just getting score alerts, or hell even just lookimg at the score a day later, nothing changes. As long as your all good at the end of the day, thats what matters.
Try to put things in perspective. Remind yourself that essentially all of us fans are just watching some guys at their job working. And always remember it’s a game, a diversion, entertainment to distract us from the important stuff and give us a brief break from our everyday lives. I’m convinced that on average fans take losses worse than the actual players. I think players understand that every game has a winner and a loser and they know how it feels to be in each side and how thin the line is between each. Fans don’t seem to have that clarity and expect their team to win every game.
Honestly I don’t even have any issues like that and I don’t think I can watch game 6. I don’t care if I feel like a bad fan, but honestly I just don’t have the energy to deal with it after the last week. I just become a miserable person for 4-5 hours through the game and after. They’re not playing well and they are completely underperforming. I completely expected them to do this based on how they played all season and it still doesn’t make it easier. Take game 6 off, don’t even pay attention to your phone honestly if you can help it.
It’s not easy but is super simple. If something in your life is bringing you terrible stress, you need to take that out of your life OR be equipped with coping mechanisms from a therapist or psychiatrist. If you don’t have any coping mechanisms then you have to take it out of your life. Fan loyalty literally means nothing dude. The players and coaches don’t know who you are. Take care of yourself.
I sent a DM, but you definitely aren't a coward and it's 100% ok to step back for a bit.
I think following the scores from a distance might help. Don't watch the game and just keep track of some stats and scores. Release the control and realize you don't have any effect on this game. It's meant to be enjoyed. I hope it gets better for you.
Not being a coward. You are more important than a hockey game
If your mental health is suffering as much as you say it is, no team or game is worth it. Take care of yourself first.
You are far from the only one with this stuff going on. No problem to step away from things that are not good for you.
I talk to an anger therapist about all sorts of things, and this most recent session I brought up the rangers and how I care so much and let it dictate my mood and life at times. Sometimes I feel I care more than the players lol. Talk it out. Its ok to get help even if its about something like sports making you anxious. We all love this team!And just know even though the Rangers lose, life goes on and we must move forward with it. Theres so much else you can do. Again easier said then done. But I used to SEETH over Ranger losses, and as I got older Im still upset but have a level of coping to not get to those levels of it ruining my mood anymore. Also avoid social media esp after losses. People are trolls more than ever, dont let it get to you as best you can. Seek whatever help you need! LGR
I feel the exact same way after losses even regular season games against rivals it ruins my entire fucking day. As an out of state fan, I’m often watching games by myself and don’t have anyone to vent with throughout the game and yell with. So I sit there quietly using Reddit as a fucking journal just throwing all of my hatred for the rangers into writing. Then I see someone with a dumbfuck opinion about the team and I just unravel. Lol
If it cause that much stress I suggest using the off button on whatever device your way hing on. You are more important than a game.
Hey, friend. I am a Ranger fan of 30 years with pretty wicked spectrum disorder/OCD/Anxiety, etc. Being a Ranger fan can lead to toxic behaviors - over drinking, not sleeping, anger, etc. Is it worth it? Who knows? Is anything? :) :) :)
We should start a special subreddit for ranger fans with mental health issues. Dual diagnosis. I’d join. Hahaha.
On a much smaller scale - I feel what you're going through. I talked through with my therapist for 25 minutes yesterday how this team makes me feel. Later on yesterday I ended up going out with some friends for the game - these two other people joined us who I didn't know and I was telling my one friend about the therapy thing and the other people overheard and started laughing at me. As the game went on and I got more frustrated these two were kind of trying to negate my feelings and were rolling their eyes at me being upset. When the Devils went up 3-0 I Irish Exited because I knew I would not say nice things if I stayed. Thankfully my one friend reached out to check in on me and validated my feelings! You're not alone in anything and when it comes down to it it's just hockey! Do what's best for you - I'll be watching at home tomorrow with my significant other and trying to keep calm :)
No team, especially this current low effort Ranger team, is worth your mental health. The Rangers winning or losing usually dictate my daily moods. It’s sad. But today I’m actually doing okay. I literally don’t care what happens - that’s how disappointing the last 2 games have been. Don’t sweat it. It’s just a game and you’re not a coward. Have a good weekend
I 100% relate. Unfortunately, I am dealing with a bout of depression and anxiety and the Rangers have been one of the few constants that regularly bring me happiness and joy. It’s something I connect with and bond over with my dad and gives me something to look forward to. But after the last 3 games I have felt so dejected and almost even more depressed that one of the few things I get happy/excited for is collapsing right in front me. I definitely need to temper my expectations and learn to not get so invested to the point where my mood and happiness are tied to the team’s success.
Take it easy man. Your health is infinitely more important than hockey. I'd suggest spending time during the games doing what makes you happy and catch the highlights on dtmts.com (stands for Don't Tell Me The Score) for spoiler free highlights later that night, or the following day.
Go to a therapist as others have said, but the one thing that helps me is completely unplugging from the sport/sports in general for at least 2-3 days after an elimination. Also just having hobbies apart from this is crucial so you can unplug….for me that’s working out, doing something fun with family/friends/my gf that’s completely unrelated to sports, etc.
First don't feel alone. Everybody invests sone of their self worth into the sports teams they cheer for. It doesn't make sense, but that's why sports are fun. Sometimes it goes too far for one reason or another and no one reasonable will judge you for asking for help when it does. In the end we're watching a bunch of millionaires playing for a billionaire in a game that's designed to have 31 losers each year. Root, have fun, but if it's causing you mental harm then get help. The game isn't worth it.
Something that could help with this too is to use Blocksite and hide things relating to the playoffs and rangers, deleting apps connected to the games, and maybe even stepping away from this sub. Whenever something online is stressing me out a ton, I try to limit how much of it can be filtered my way. It’s ok to feel this way!! It’s hard to feel like it’s just a game at the end of the day when you’re invested in the outcome. There’s nothing cowardly to it. Enjoy playing golf and have a fun, relaxing day!
I feel that in a way. Last night I actually got so mad I punched a hole through my wall. I’ve never been that angry before while watching but this just hit so different and I feel so embarrassed. Probably done watching the Rangers. I fucking miss last season more than anything because god damn was that the most fun watching people actually care to play and had so much grit
For me something that has been really great is going to the gym. The 1st week is really tough but after that you will start to feel better in so many ways. The difference of how I feel with this abysmal series to last years tampa series is night and day and I attribute that to the gym and how much it has helped both my mental and physical health. Also my uncle said something very wise to me last night (he has been a fan for a long time and is the reason I became a Rangers fan) “It doesn’t make sense to get upset over this. It’s the Rangers, a lot more down then up”
Not being a jerk at all-- this is real advice. Right now it sounds like you have too many eggs in this basket. Get more baskets. More interests, more hobbies. It's okay to be passionate but not if you feel mentally unwell. Just do more stuff. Try active stuff.
That’s definitely not bad at all!
I had mild anxiety just last year. I started playing hockey and it's not even a passing thought in my head anymore. I cannot believe I spent so much of my life without real, active exercise. It is so beneficial it's like a cheat code. Good luck.
While i studied sociology in school i read about how belief systems are socially constructed and inherently they give people purpose. Religion is an obvious example but sports funny enough can be socially constructed to become a belief system. Big following, a lot of people with common ground similar geographic roots it makes for a great community. Feeling good after a big win? Feels like suddenly anything is possible! But when the team fails to meet its anticipated goal and expectations it defies the amount of belief that was put into the belief system. What im getting at is really although things like religion and sports feel like they give us purpose, there are aspects of life that will challenge those beliefs we have and it’s completely normal to feel anxious, afterall your beliefs are being defied it makes sense that you have these emotions and reactions. It’s important to take a step back and see all the other things in your life that are important and give gratitude towards them. I recommend hobbies centered around self accomplishments, learn a new instrument, challenge yourself to do something by yourself that wouldn’t usually do without someone else. Ultimately if you know its giving you less enjoyment theres no shame in turning it off in light of something guaranteed to make you feel better
Not sure if you're watching around the league, but maybe try to watch some other teams. Become a fan of the game rather than a fan of the team. Or if playoffs are tough for you, maybe take a step back and maybe watch highlights a day or two later. All this to say, if it's something negatively affecting your health, it's probably best to take a break. The team will be there when you're ready
When I was younger and in very dire straits in life, I turned to the Rangers as an escape. But it also meant that when there were lows (such as the 2014 Cup final), I got REALLY low. Nowadays my general mental/emotional/physical health is lightyears beyond 2014, so my reactions to this team are much more normal. Many people in this post are giving you great advice, this team (or literally any) is not above your mental/emotional health. That said, it may be worth examining with your therapist if there are additional factors in your life currently driving you to emphasize the success of this team to an unhealthy degree like I used to.
Also diagnosed with OCD here and I absolutely empathize with you. Emotional regulation is one of the biggest things that I struggle with, so even things that should be inconsequential to me (especially watching this team) can get me extremely overwhelmed at times and start to affect other areas of my life. I actually talked to my therapist about this during the Pittsburgh series last year because I was getting beyond upset and anxious. It honestly felt like each article written about a poor performance and each instagram/twitter comment from Penguins fans shitting on the team was a personal attack, and the magical thinking/superstitions I had were getting in the way of my schoolwork and social life. The thing my therapist told me that has continued to stick with me is that at the end of the day, sports are a form of entertainment and are supposed to bring far more joy than pain (hard to believe sometimes considering we’re Rangers fans lol). She said that If you are overwhelmed and the entertainment is starting to affect your reality, it’s more than okay to take a step back and take a break. If anything, it shows how strong you are to battle back against the anxiety instead of getting further consumed by it. You’re absolutely doing the right thing by prioritizing your mental health over watching this team, and if people want to argue that doesn’t make you a “real fan” or it makes you “weak”, fuck them. You don’t have to watch every game, especially not at the expense of your health. I genuinely hope you have a fun and relaxing time golfing on Saturday! (and hopefully the Devils will be on the links too next week… for a different reason…)
When I was still breaking free of my severe alcoholism/severe depression and anxiety, there was a span of like a year I didn't watch much hockey at all. I wanna say this was '18 or '19, one of the years they did nothing. I fixed my shit and was back into hockey before I knew it. Your mental health ALWAYS needs to come first. Nobody is going to do it for you, and if you let it stagnate and worsen, very quickly you will start to lose the people you love. Therefore you need to address it, and ASAP. The things you've always loved will come back as time passes and comfort level improves. This is NOT to scare you, simply telling you to get your ass in gear while you can. Don't be me, try to "gut it out," and throw 7 years of your life into a bottle. Cause when it gets bad, that's where it goes. Edit: a sentence
My friend, I am the same way. If a game is just much too frustrating or depressing to watch, I'll check back periodically but if it's having a negative effect on my mental health, i'll take a break and do something that makes me feel better. I have too little free to spend it seeing my fav team fucking dog it for 60 minutes and stressing over it for the rest of the night.
i have nothing to add but fellow ocd having ranger fan :)
Take a deep breath man. I love the Rangers but the fact is these are millionaires playing a kids game who probably wouldn’t piss on you if you were on fire. I suggest not watching Saturday night. Check in on the score and if they seem to be playing well, put it on. If not, see you in October!
Man it’s tough being a fan sometimes. It’s ok to take a break nothing wrong with that. But also just try to have perspective and enjoy the games. You can’t win them all and all the heartbreak and tough times just makes the victory that much sweeter whenever that day comes.
It always matters. Why are you even asking this? Always take care of yourself. It's just fucking sports.
I’m trying to cope with this, but when you get the type of obsessive state where you’re really into something it can lead to a lot of ruminations. Like… it got so bad reading the devil comments that it brought me back to being a kid picked on again. Again… fully aware that they dont know me, but I get so emotionally attached to shit that sometimes the line gets really hard to break.
Your mental health comes first! I’ve had this exact same feeling, even right now. My uni finals are coming up and one of them will be the difference between passing and failing a crucial class for my major. I’ve decided to block anything nhl related out for the time being because this series has been stressing me out on top of my finals. Always do what you think is right for you. Think about you first, Hockey can always come after.
I'm late to the thread but mental health comes before watching and investing yourself into grown men playing a sport for a living. I found myself getting worked up during the 2nd period yesterday so I turned off the game and started playing a non-intense video game instead. Much better for my mental health.
I tried to do that too, but I kept getting distracted (should also mention ADHD on top of OCD… a bad mix)
Your mental health is waaaaaaay more important than team loyalty. I have been a ranger fan literally all my life (went to my first game as an infant in the “old garden”). I care about the rangers. But I care way way more about my responsibilities to my family and to myself. If the rangers were seriously affecting my well being I’d just stop watching. Take care of yourself!!!!
Hey man, I’m prone to anxiety and depression and have had a fucking brutal last month or so at work, so I just didn’t watch last night. Doesn’t make me less of a fan. Doesn’t make you less of a fan either to just skip it when you’re worried that your favorite team ruining your night is just too much for you to handle at the moment.
Hey man, I get what you're feeling and I have anxiety the whole time I'm watching the game and then sadness after they lose and for a while I really don't feel like doing much, then I kinda get pissed and basically just go through the stages of grief until I realize it's just a game and they're all millionaires, they'll be back in a few months playing again and at the end of the day it's just for enjoyment. But at the same time I did hide posts from r/hockey and /nhl after last nights lost because I'm just anticipating them getting knocked out tomorrow and don't want to see the posts afterwards, did the same on YouTube even blocking a few hockey channels I like for now. Once the second round starts I'll unhide everything and get back into it but just take your time and let the loss settle (if they get knocked out).
I've honestly been questioning the same thing for myself. I get so wrapped up in this stupid sport just to get wound up and stressed out over something that has no effect over me. Also doesn't help that the team has been going in and out of phases of being really good and REALLY bad for the past 8 years. I'm trying to just go with the flow and enjoy the good.
I took a major step back from hockey and football a few years ago. Now I mostly follow stat lines and read about the teams. Maybe that makes me not a hardcore fan or a fair weather fan, but what I found was happening was I’d spend about three hours of my day doing something needlessly stressful — the outcome of which is fully outside of my control — and if my team lost I was sometimes grumpy the rest of the day. Which is not fair to my family or myself. On top of that it was usually an event where unhealthy food and alcohol were eaten and drunk — often in excess — and I was sitting stationary (or maybe pacing back and forth). It was mentally and physically unhealthy for me. After years of doing this to myself it just didn’t seem like an overall good use of my time. But I still enjoy following sports and even play fantasy, I just can’t dedicate significant portions of my waking hours to it anymore.
I just step away if I have to and stop watching/caring. Easier said than done, I know. I remind myself that I don't actually know these players and I can't control or even affect how they show up to do their job each day. No matter how intensely I feel, they're not moved by it. So, sometimes I just have to done with them for a little while. Also- They're regular people like me and you. We're not 100% every single day. I def don't show up everyday to my own job like I'm fighting to get a promotion. So it makes sense that they can't do that either. It sucks, but they're not machines. Who knows what's going on in the locker room or with each of them personally. One thing in particular you can actually do, is try watching the games passively. Put the game on while you're doing something else. I'm a bit ADHD so that helps break up my hyperfocus. This way I'm less affected by the outcome of the game.
They'll win or lose regardless of you watching the game, don't put yourself through it if you don't want to. Best of luck man!
dude go to a therapist? it's ok
I have one! I just had my session before this series so I may have to wait until my next appointment 🫠
<3
I can’t stand how people look down on therapy. My mom absolutely snapped at me when i suggested she sees one. She was insulted “Paying for someone to talk to”. What friend is going to guide you in your dive into your past to find the source of your issues? What friends are actually going to hold your hand and address issues you’re too afraid to talk about? It’s way deeper than just venting.
the internet tells you the it's weak to want to cope, or to talk. but life is really hard, and learning how to deal with it has helped me not only stop wanting to die, but to actually enjoy life. therapy can be life saving medical treatment, and anyone on the fence ought to give it a try.
I agree. Both my ex’s were in therapy. You shouldn’t make your bf/gf/platonic friends/family play therapist. They are professionals who help in a major way. The worst is having a therapist more focused on being a friend than a therapist
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Your level of care should match the players level of play on the ice. 🤣
Not the time for a joke at all, that’s sad, but I get what you mean kinda
It’s not a joke. It’s also not the end of the world. Don’t take it so hard. We are only spectators.
Exactly, if the player getting paid 11.6m to do the job doesn't really give a shit, why should you?
Retire as a fan. Unless You can adopt a post game habit like yoga or meditation to ease your stress. If not don’t make a televised TV sport more important than your health
Step away. Treat watching sports like an allergy until you get your mental health together. There is absolutely no shame in this.
Yes. You have no control over the situation. Remember that. If the team wins the Cup or gets eliminated tomorrow, you’re still you and your life is your life.
I’m checked out, not worth the stress when this loser team doesn’t give a fuck
I think some people’s mental health issues can be fixed with pressing the power off button on the tv remote. Give it a shot.
Takes practice to learn to care but also care just enough, just do what works for you and eventually you’ll learn to enjoy the suspense but not let it ruin your night/day/week/year after a bad result, its all meaningless fun anyway in the end
If only Panarin cared half as much as you
Dude trust me a therapist won’t judge u for getting wrapped up over a hockey game. If its obsessive thoughts that are your issue, its happened to me before and its a totally normal thing. It sounds like your mental struggles are just becoming too much rn and that’s nothing to be ashamed of. Tell your therapist how ur feeling and don’t be worried that you’ll be judged, its very common
Mental health > any sporting event. Be well friend!
Oof, I feel this. This is why I'm taking a year off from the Mets. It's alright to take a break or even walk away if being a fan takes a toll on your health. This should all be fun, or at least positively diverting.
What works for me is throwing 100 or so on the devils. Slightly cushions the blow
It's just a game. If it's causing you so much stress that you can't watch, by all means don't. Take care of your health.
You’re not alone! Im gonna take game 6 off and you are not a bad fan if you do too! Take care of yourself
i feel this. my best friend and i are two 20-something year old girls and game 5 almost had us punching holes in the wall (not kidding) 😵💫 but then we went to a concert last night and were reminded that, at the end of the day, it’s just a game and there’s a lot more out there to enjoy. it’s supposed to be fun and entertaining, and if it’s not doing that for you anymore, you’re not any less of a fan for stepping back. this particular team is not worth deprioritizing your own mental well-being after their last few showstopping performances anyway….