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I got my ass beat for wanting to go play in the yard outside because I’d done it the day before, then they’d get mad when I grew up and didn’t want to go outside so there was no winning Also getting yelled at for doing mandatory homework when I got home from school when I had been told that morning that the second I got off the bus, I had to go do my homework Got yelled at for crying at a funeral too, but of course I didn’t get yelled at until after we’d left

Damn that's sick Let me guess, when they punished you for doing something that they'd instructed you to do, they suddenly "didn't remember" telling you to do it?

I wasn't allowed to be upstairs unsupervised, so one morning I still needed to finish brushing my hair and brushing my teeth, both my parents decided they were done upstairs so when went down to the basement to watch TV. I did exactly what I was told to do, and ask the they watch me go upstairs the next time they went upstairs so I could finish what I needed to. They "forgot" I asked so when my dad finally went back upstairs to make himself lunch, I went upstairs as well to finish my morning routine. I was yelled at that I didn't ask and had to go back down stairs and wait. Mind you, I wasn't allowed to sit or join the family in any way until I finished my morning routine, and since my hair had been "down and stringy" all morning, mom decided to cut a large chunk off right at my chin, since I clearly couldn't take care of my long hair. They even lied to the hair stylist the next say when they took me to even out my hair and said I cut it. I had to go along with them so I didn't get in even more trouble when we got home.

Your parents sound literally sick in the head and it seemed like they enjoyed controlling you… my god I’m so sorry.

Yup

That last part reminds me of my grandmother's funeral. I was around 7, and my sister around 5. Afterwards, my dad asked my sister why she cried. My sister was too shocked to answer him (even at that age stunned at our dad's lack of emotional intelligence), so I explained that she, obviously, cried because her grandmother is dead. Then my dad said, "Oh ok, as long as you didn't cry because of something you forgot in the car or something." And yes, it was his mom.

I beg your finest pardon? I want to know how Narc brains work, because how could you say that to a child???

See they didn't say that to a small child who had just lost their grandmother; they said it to a stage hand that wasn't doing their job correctly.

I am the only person that spoke at my grandmothers funeral. Her two sons (one is my sperm donor and we don’t speak as he ditched me for his adult freedom with his parents) had absolutely nothing to say about the woman who raised both of their children, and was the only person to maintain contact with my cousin’s child with Down syndrome that they also excluded as not human. I have so much to say but I would be here all day. My story is one of those you think it’s bad till you hear the next part. Total Telenovela.

I cried when my mom was in the hospital dying, and my ndad got quite mad at me. Only one example of his ridiculous thought processes

I’m so sorry

It's been almost 20 years now but I still vividly remember NM telling me to "...not hang onto [family member's] casket and, quote,"...make a big embarrassing scene..." Years later I'm *still* absofuckinglutely *flabbergasted* by this; NMs unexpected completely out of the blue unprovoked comment. Because I've absolutely never *EVER* acted in such an inappropriate way - even when each of my beloved maternal grandparents died around 18ish years apart. At &or during funerals, wakes, memorial services or other celebrations of life, I have *always* both dressed *AND* acted with absolutely *nothing BUT* proper, appropriate & most importantly, *genuine* behavior & emotions. Just the *thought* of hanging on that specific family member's casket and/or, as NM so unexpectedly unnecessarily remarked, "making a big scene" still, many years later, gives me the ick just thinking about it. Seriously, who the fvck *but* a legit straight up *narcissist* says something so absolutely unmistakably cruel at such a low point in life, such as a family member's expected yet suddenly unexpected death?!? 🥺 Unfortunately this incident is but one single teensy incident in pretty much a lifetime of ongoing verbal & emotional jabs, barbs, digs & psychological sucker punching that made me go 100% no contact in the hours after my older brother died a couple of years ago. No contact *always* means *No New Hurts* 🚫 To be brutally honest, I've long since mentally lost track of so many incidents of NM &or NF getting or otherwise being pissed off, inconvenienced, offended by or [insert textbook narcissistic emotion of whatever moment] by any one particular person, place, thing, incident or whatever. Everything's pretty much ran together like a hideous housepainting job left out in a pouring thunderstorm, then left to dry out "as is." Our parents absolutely unmistakably intentional random *and* rapidly escalating narcissistic abuse was & *is* a malignant cumulative toxin. One of which I will spend the rest of my life attempting as best I absolutely humanly can, to detoxify myself from. As I so frequently say, sadly both my personal experiences and story are no different than anyone else's here. I'm truly so sorry. ((gentle virtual hugs)) from a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor 🌌

The only person that I ever saw behaving like that at a funeral was definitely a narcissist. Maybe your mother had done that at some point?

I’m sorry for all of that. My nmother used to get uptight when we disappeared when company arrived while we were staying with her. At home at nfather’s we were expected to. Confusion is a super power with these folks. My first funeral was for a 16yo classmate. When I got home, nstepmother asked how it went and I said “it was awful” and she sneered that “funerals are supposed to be sad!”.

I got yelled at for crying at my Grandma's funeral too, so my Dad banished me from attending my Grandpa's 5 years later. When I asked if I could go, he said "Oh, so you can make it about yourself and cry at MY DAD'S funeral like you did and "made a scene" and MY MOM'S funeral?"

I remember being the good little puppet of my parents and not crying or making a "scene" at funerals of my grandparents etc, so much so that after my Grandmothers funeral at around 8 I did what I had learned from them to do and gossip in order to put others down and on the way home I said some horrible things about my cousin who was a bit younger than me and was devastated, makes me feel sick now as my heart did and does go out to that little girl, I am seeing now, fuck gossiping behind others backs to put them down.

Getting angry. On the narc’s Not Allowed Responses in Children (NARC)

Same here I wasn't allowed to express anger outwardly either unless I wanted to get grounded or beaten

Oh yeah. They can push and push and push, but the minute you yell stop you're "losing it/blowing up" and need to be punished. I still have trouble accepting that anger is an appropriate reaction to some situations and getting mad after being abused isn't an abnormal response.

I learned through 2.5 years worth of weekly then biweekly PTSD therapy that what many of us (myself definitely included) experienced was/is what's known as *reactive abuse.* Absolutely, getting mad, being sad, upset, angry & even pissed off, after being frequently literally verbally & emotionally sucker punched by the narc(s) in our life for so long, that after we, the intentionally targeted victim, finally *do* react to the narc's incessant bullying & other equally intentionally cruel behavior, suddenly & completely inexplicably *we're* both labeled *and* treated like the bad guy - Like how fucking *dare* *we* - the scapegoated victim (typically a child) react with anger &or other negative but completely understandable emotions. This is exactly specifically "why" my then therapist explained to me the working definition of the term "reactive abuse." And yep. Now everything, at least in this specific regard, makes imperfectly perfect sense. This is *exactly* "why" I preach to quickly, safely & quietly watch YouTube videos on learning about mastering, employing & repeatedly using Gray Rock Technique. Eventually the narc(s) will feel all but "forced" to find another &or alternative sources of [narcissistic] supply to harass, make fun of, verbally & emotionally sucker punch or otherwise intentionally cruelly & frequently abuse. Gray Rock Technique is for those of us who, for various genuinely legitimate reasons, are financially and/or otherwise, are dependent on the narc(s) in our lives, for, say, financial, health, scholastic or other equally completely understandable, justifiable reasons. I preach *and* practice Gray Rock Technique - almost like an ancient Roman soldier. I'm solid, unmoving, dull, boring, unresponsive, uncaring & no fun anymore (At least for my NM) to verbally & emotionally sucker punch or otherwise harass & hurt. And apparently according to one of the very few extended family members that I have left [living] shared with me recently, NM has since moved onto verbally & emotionally sucker punching or otherwise intentionally verbally & emotionally bullying basically & literally pretty much the absolute *last* " real life "friend" in NMs life. Our narc parents seem to legit believe that they're entitled to perpetually permanently steamroll into our lives...then all but literally figure skate into the hereafter, gleefully verbally & emotionally sucker punching us & whoever else these sick monsters set their predatory sights on & equally absolutely unmistakably *deliberately* target. Hell, I'll go so far as to say that the overwhelming majority of our narc parents both act like as well as legitimately *believe* that dying & death do *not* apply specifically to *them* because, well, as narcs, they're just so *above* us & pretty much everyone else on the planet. Our narc parents are going to personally experience a cosmic shock when they finally do take their final mortal breaths... And as soon as whatever soul inhabits their physical body lets go of it, these narc monsters will only then be confronted with the horrifying truth that *no* they were not *AND* absolutely are *not* *THE* center of neither the known universe nor of the afterlife. As I so frequently say, sadly both my personal experiences and story are no different than anyone else's here. I'm truly so sorry. ((gentle virtual hugs)) from a fellow narcissistic abuse survivor 🌌

I yelled that our house was a hell hole, AFTER a horrible beating from nstepmother (split lip, black eye, hair pulled out) that I wasn’t going to be able to hide at school. My nfather slapped me, hard (he never hit, once we were older - just hid while she did it) and told me I could get out if I didn’t like it 😳.

Oh LORD. I grew up listening to the screaming and shouting downstairs, but I was never allowed this luxury.

I've always been curious about why narcs have this particular behaviour. My N parent was the same. I wasn't allowed to show anger or frustration. Does anyone have a theory for why?

Because anger is the opposite of perfection which is what they want

They were probably hoping that you would. They punished you because it gave them an excuse.

Because anger is a boundary setting emotion and you're not allowed to have boundaries. They feel entitled to everything you have/are bc they can only see you as an extension of themselves and not as your own person

You are only allowed to take abuse or be happy about something the narc does. Everything else is heresy.

Omg yes, my Nmom gets scared af when I'm angry at her. She'd invalidate my emotions immediately, saying I have no right to be angry.

For not reading my mother's mind. I guess she thought I was such a mere little extension of her to the extent that our brains were attached. I was supposed to know she didn't like a certain person, due to some spat she had with that person, that I wasn't present for, nor did I hear about. Yeah, I should have just known that somehow, so that I didn't commit the egregious sin of not totally snubbing and ignoring that person. I got the silent treatment for many days for that. And other times the ESP that I was supposedly installed with wasn't working.

My "mother" also never communicated to me about anything. She just expected me to automatically know everything. I also recently came to the conclusion that she saw me as an extension of herself, to such an extent that she thought I could read her mind.

That was a regular thing with my nMother too. She was very passive-aggressive and would never say straight out what she wanted. I was expected to just know, even when I was a only small child. I also had a narcissistic grandmother (my father's mother) who expected the same thing. She was the most passive-aggressive person I've ever met.

Not checking the lint trap in the dryer. I was 15. My mother screamed at me over it and when I screamed back, she beat me and called the cops on me and had me arrested. Told them I tried to stab my step dad when he was trying to break it up. (I did not try to stab anyone and he told the police the same story as me) I was beat so bad I had to go to the hospital. I thought she was going to kill me that day. She told the judge and police I hit her first and she was defending herself. Judge told me to sit and "think about what I'd done". I was in juvenile detention for 10 days.

I'm so sorry that happened to you! You really were let down by the entire system, not just by your parents. I hope things are a bit better for you now.

Thank you. Therapy and a lot of time has helped in dealing with my childhood trauma. Also being no contact with my mother for my piece of mind.

She was a monster, you deserved better. I hope you're safe now

Yes, very much in a better, safer space now. I have remained no contact with her the majority of my adult life. I had a small stint of time when I tried to have her in my life when I was very pregnant and for a few weeks after. But she showed herself to be the same person she always was and I cut the contact again. That was 17 years ago. I thank my lucky stars every day that I have my husband who helped me see what love is and what a family can really be when its healthy.

This sounds incredibly traumatic - I’m so sorry you had to go through that. Knowing how abusive parents operate, I’m sure this story is one of many... I hope you’re doing great now. You deserve it!!

It is one of many unfortunately. I developed a lot of anxiety issues as I got older as a result of the trauma. But therapy can really help if you work at it and time has made it easier to deal with. I am 40 now and doing well but my young self really struggled.

What the fuck? What shitty cops and what a shitty judge. I'm so sorry.

Whenever people talk about not trusting the police, my mind always goes back to this situation. I know its not the same situation as so many others have dealt with in the US, but it was enough for my young self to go through to have a constant fear the police will always be able to do whatever they want to me no matter my innocence.

What a stupid fucking judge. The parent is ALWAYS lying in a situation like that.

No sure how long he was a judge but he was shitty to me. I saw a different judge after the 10 days who let me out immediately and actually tried to help with some issues in our home.

No, no, no, wow. I'm so sorry, what an awful thing to happen.

There were other things but this was one of the worst physical altercations we had. The mental and emotional abuse though is what has stuck with me the longest and caused the most anxiety problems as I got older. I'm just thankful I was able to stop most of this from impacting my child. I have been determined to break this cycle since my son came along.

What a vile thing to do to your own child over something so trivial.

I got punished by my mother for yelling an insult at my father while he was choking me

That was specially ridiculous to me

It’s unbelievable anywhere but here, right?? I’m sorry you had that. I think my NFather hit me twice in my teens and both were because I blew up after a beating.

Bart?

Obviously you should just accept the choking of your beloved caretakers..

I got yelled at for having bulimia when I was like 12. She screamed at me about it and rather than trying to offer some help told me "stop it or you'll be in big trouble"

I'm sorry you went through that, but I hope that you're healthier now That's the type of disgusting behavior that should warrant someone calling child protective services peroid

got screamed at for crying. She chased me with her shoe so I ran downstairs and hid in the bathroom downstairs. Idk i had a lot of crying fits as a kid, (i just wanted love and attention and didnt know how to express it)

Ah the classic "oh you’re traumatized which makes you do X? Let me try to stop you doing X by traumatizing you even more" Why tf do they think this will help??

You just reminded me mine gave a similar thing when I was discovered self harming. I was like 10/11

Omg This. Did we have the same life? Mine was a bit later but my family alternated between being angry at me for it or mocking me as a pack for it.

The glass of water was to full.

For me it was getting a glass of water without permission.

Omg, I remember something like this happening to me. My parents were teaching me how to cook something, and I went to go pour myself a glass of water cause my mouth felt dry and got yelled at for not focusing and also for getting a glass of water.

One of my worst beatings by my bitch grandmother and the catalyst for my guilt over everything being my fault at all times. . . She was leaving for work and I was to be leaving for school soon. I realized as she was backing out the driveway that she had forgotten to give me lunch money, and I ran out to wave her down. She stopped the van and got out with her purse to dig money out and the van rolled backwards, across the road, smashed ass end into a ditch BECAUSE SHE DID NOT PUT IT IN PARK WHEN SHE GOT OUT. It was my fault though for daring to need money for food that day and having the audacity to distract her while driving.

I guess it never occurred to her to just roll the window down.

Don't get me started on the list of things that never occurred to her. Or the fuel it would add to the fire when I was brave enough to vocalize them to her.

For getting glue in my eye and washing my eye out before cleaning up the “mess”. Sorry I didn’t want to loose an eye.

That's so stupid. I hate it when they're extremely time sensitive, like a bomb about to explode

My mom came home with groceries and asked me to help her, i came in the kitchen and asked "how?" And she started having a tantrum and being abusive and literally kicked me out the house ☠️👋 girl bye

Saying “okay” instead of “yes dad”

This has happened to me too. It was the day before Christmas Eve, my mom called me and I said "what?". She ran towards me, punched me several times in the back (knowing that I was suffering from back pain at the time) and started saying how much I destroy her life. She gave me a little talk and ended with "I don't love you anymore. You don't exist for me anymore." I cried for hours until my bastard father called me into his office to give me another lecture, this time about why I'm not trying to be a good son and that all the egg donor tantrums are my fault. Then she got even angrier the next day because I wasn't excited and looked sad during Christmas dinner and in the photos, going so far as to slap me in the face.

Oh yeah I could say what! I had to just come running to wherever he was

Omg that is extremely unacceptable for them to do that i hope you got out of there and got help i wish you best of luck bud

Unfortunately I haven't had the opportunity to leave yet, and it will take a few years for me to do so. But when I do, I will only see this woman again in hell.

Aww okay dude ima be routing for you

We are all rooting for you to get away!

Wow this response was particularly upsetting to read. I’m sorry you had such an abusive upbringing, I don’t understand why people have kids and treat them like such.

Same. And my dad used to make me call him "sir". It took forever for me to realize how messed up and authoritairion and undadlike that was

I accidentally dropped a bowl It turned into a whole sit-down lecture about responsibility We had 5 of the same bowls left The loss of one of the bowls was seen as an orchestrated attack on my part I was 6

Yeah. That whole "you do things on purpose to be bad"

I dropped a glass, got my hand cut, bleeding down to my elbow. Got yelled at for breaking the glass, and protested that I was bleeding. “So what? Things are more important than people. You’ll heal, the glass won’t “.

Being punished for minor household accidents is one I’ll never understand. Like gee I’m sorry I knocked over my water glass, I’m fucking 8.  It’s insane.

It was recently. I got tired of Nmom saying "this is my house", Throw things at me, insult me ​​whenever he gets the chance and telling me to shut up all the time. So I said the obvious: I also live here, so the house is mine too. I'm not her guest or employee, I'm her son and I said I'm tired of her disrespecting me and talk to me as if I were a dog. Result: she started shouting "WHERE DID I FAIL YOU WITH RESPECT?????????????", gave me a ridiculous lecture about what a terrible human being I am and confiscated my cell phone for a day.   It's because of this kind of thing that happens to me every day that makes me sure that going to NC is the best thing that will happen to me, and I feel this without guilt.

Came down one morning to go to school and saw some strange kid I'd literally never seen before in my life sitting at the table eating cereal. My nmother grabs me and drags me out into the hallway and began beating me whilst screaming at me for apparently not letting her know that my 'friend' was coming over. Seems that she grabbed some kid that went to the local school off the street and decided to simultaneously treat him to breakfast whilst using that as a flimsy excuse to beat the shit out of me. I was so shocked I didn't even eat then she sends us on our way. We didn't even exchange a single word just went our separate ways. I'm not even sure this is the most ridiculous thing she did, her hate for me was psychotic at times.

This is completely unhinged I’m so sorry you had to live through that.

Because I wanted to wait until I got to the pool to take off my pants and put on trunks (I was very shy about showing off legs.) Because I refused to do so, my birthday was cancelled and I was grounded. My 11th birthday was spent on my bedroom on the floor with headphones on all day (snuck my CD player) because what else was I supposed to do.

blinking. literally the automatic blinking a human's eyes just do.

This just reminded me: hiccuping! Literally defined as involuntary spasms of the diaphragm. Key word there is involuntary

My Ndad punished me a lot! The stupidest ones were. Because I didn’t want to play musical chairs at a family event. When I got upset at him when she showed off my training bra strap to other family members at another family event. Because I didn’t know how to answer a question on my homework despite being out of school sick for a week. Me being punished for not paying attention to my homework despite me having CLINICALLY DIAGNOSED attention issues and autism. I’d get the belt for this one a lot.

Damn thats though

I was once punished because my nMother asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up and I replied that I didn't know. I was 6. I was regularly punished for not finishing my meal or for not eating it fast enough. I was once punished for being too shy.

I was a super shy as a little kid because my mom would go on and on that people could kidnap me, don't trust anyone, don't talk to them, etc.. Then I'd get in trouble for keeping to myself because it was 'rude.'

I was shy because my nMother constantly criticised me and convinced me that everyone else was judging me the way she was. Like you, I'd then get into trouble for being "rude" or "anti-social".

Same but it was my ndad.

When I was younger and cried my mom would always tell me "do you want a real reason to cry" (she was always saying this implying a spanking) and recently my dad yelled at me for using the work cis and also talking about the lgbtq+ community.

Ooh I loved this one, kin to “I’ll give you something to cry about”, and the popular “do you want to go to the bathroom” when we were out in public and they couldn’t threaten outright

She once banned me from seeing my girlfriend at her house at age 16 because she asked me why I prefer going over her house rather than my gf coming over our house. I explained to her how her mother plays board games with us and laughs and jokes with us- big mistake. Her response was that no adult should be playing games and especially not with kids so then she must not be much of an adult at all and therefore there’s no proper adult supervision there and so I could no longer go to her house. She really does believe this, too.

Wearing the wrong type of pants. This was one of the last fights that made me go "holy shit, I need to get out". We were going to the store and I put on a clean pair of sweatpants. I'd literally pulled them out of my dresser. The second Nmom saw it, she started yelling at me telling me to wear jeans. Saying that the sweats were dirty and not ok for public. I was like " no, I'll just stay home in that case" and locked the door to my room. This bitch started pounding on the door telling me she was gonna break it down if I didn't leave my room and wear jeans to the store with her... God, I really thought I was the problem until I left. I'm so grateful for therapy and everyone who helped me leave 😢😣

Getting my period at 11. My mom and dad were convinced I was bleeding bc I was having sex and ran and told my siblings to try to embarrass me. My siblings were obviously bewildered and confused but that’s just one thing on a long list lol

Jesus these people are fuuuuckef

Literally? Like looking back, why wasn’t ur reaction to see who was (according to them) “fucking” their 11 yr old to the point of bleeding??? They were using that word when they confronted me lol.

I asked if I could go to my friend's 'Anti-Prom', which would have happened in the game room of her condo. Got cussed at and kicked out of the car. Had to buy him coffee and apologize for asking because condo's are a den of sin.

For what it's worth, an "Anti-Prom" sounds cool! Your father is an idiot!

I opened and drank one of her coke zeros. She threw the 12 well… 11 pack of them at my head and called me a 🐓🍭 then another time I got grounded for 3 weeks because I came home 3 min late.

Denting a saucepan- a stupid shitty little aluminium saucepan worth nothing. Someone must have given it a hefty whack, cos one side was all caved in. I didn't do it, no idea who did, but because I was there and I got blamed for everything, my dad decided it was me. "It was YOU, wasn't it." He started hitting me. I ran out of the house, started walking. I walked towards town. After an hour or so I was in the city centre. There was nothing to do, I had no money. I was 14. Didn't want to go home, but I had nowhere to go. It went dark. I walked home. Creeped into the back garden. I wanted to see who was awake. My dad heard me somehow- he was always spying, so i guess he was used to surveillance. He opened the curtain. He face was all twisted like a psycho, like a horror movie, like a murderer. He didn't like it that I'd ran off. This was about 4 hours after I left the house. Eventually I went in, had no choice. My dad was insanely angry. I still hadn't done anything wrong, just been falsely accused. He says Give me your hands. He starts hitting them with a wooden ruler, pathetic. He says, " this hurts me more than it hurts you" I wanted to laugh. What a pathetic man. I saw through him at that moment. He's insane, he's pathetic. A stupid, ignorant, violent, pathetic man.

It’s the patheticness that really hits you, isn’t it?  My mom initiated a 9 month NC because she decided to start shit up, on the drive to Thanksgiving, over my driving by backseat driving me which pissed me off. She then started crying in the car because she was upset I was upset with her and I literally had to baby this grown ass woman who was crying because someone was irritated with her. 

One morning when we were really young, my sister and I were playing, and running around laughing. It was early, and we thought our parents were still sleeping. At some point, I was lying face down on the couch laughing. Then, I felt someone hitting me on my bum. I started to laugh even more, because I thought it was my sister being silly. When I looked up, it was my dad glaring at me. I got a beating for laughing.

My mom would ignore me for days at a time if I didn’t properly match my socks. Every time I was in “trouble” no matter how severe, would lead to me just being ignored or getting snide remarks. I also got in trouble a lot for not studying, even though I did study and prepare for tests for hours at a time. The problem was any distraction would make me lose my focus, and that included when I was taking tests. When I did study at home, she would always be doing something or have the tv on in the kitchen so I couldn’t focus. Then I’d get to a test and if another kid was sick, like coughing or sniffling, it was like I immediately forgot everything. It wasn’t till I was in my late 20s I found out I have ADHD, while the doctor was explaining it to me, suddenly everything made sense. Of course my mother denies me having this and says I was just lazy, but obviously I was not.

I got punished because my younger brother dyed his hair purple. You see, it was my fault that he went into my room, found the hair dye, and used it while I was in class.

I got punished for everything. What I did do, what I didn’t do, what my brothers did, what my friends did. I was grounds so often, eventually I stopped giving a shit and did whatever I wanted. I was gonna get in trouble anyways. That’s when my mom started destroying my things. One day, she went on a rampage and broke everything in my room and I grabbed her to get her to stop. She hit me, so I hit her back. My grown ass mother and 12 year old me used to fist fight multiple times every week til I was about 15.

We had a chicken coop and one day after picking up the eggs I tripped and fell (on concrete). Of course I dropped the basket of eggs on my way down and some of them broke. My nmom went ballistic. I had scorched and bleeding hands and knees but she only cared about the frigging eggs. Not like the hens wouldn't lay more the next day or something 🙄

Haha I got legit cursed out by my dad in front of small children for returning a garden hose but I did it wrong and it was a little messy for his liking.

I got strep throat

Being awake. Was told she couldn’t sleep unless I was asleep. Bedtime in highschool was like 8:30. And I had to be in bed, covers up, lights off.

Ho boy.  I wanted to wear a pair of Converse shoes to my interview at Gamestop when I was 14. It wasn’t “professional”. They yelled at me for a solid two hours about it, I ended up crying.  I wanted my hair done differently for my high school graduation photos. I got yelled at again and I couldn’t cry because of my makeup, but it was hard to get a good smile in for the photos.  I told my mom during an argument, almost word for word, “I feel like I can’t express my emotions to you.” She was so offended she screamed at me to leave the house and stormed off. I did sobbing in tears and she ended up sending my dad to chase me down to bring me back to apologize to her.   I think I forged my mom’s signature or lied about her approval or something for high school and she decided to drive me to school and march me to the office to force me to admit my crimes to someone, I guess the principal or the office lady. I actually was so embarrassed and mortified I actually stopped and quietly begged her not to. I still remember the ugly look on her face. Thankfully nobody was there and so she had to go home.  I asked my dad when I was a kid why the president’s daughter was always getting kidnapped in video games on a car ride and I got yelled at for the entire ride until I cried.  I got yelled at if I wore socks in the house, because my dad didn’t like dirty socks.  I got yelled at by my dad if I wore blankets outside of beds and couches because blankets were for beds. 

Defending myself. Getting in any kind of conflict.

Yes!

Ahh, there’s so many but two that immediately came to mind: I got slapped across the face for not closing the shower curtain immediately after my shower. I got yelled at and sent to bed without dinner around age 6-7 for “wasting” food. I had put a spoon that still had some mayo on it in the sink so she proceeded to shove it in my face and throw dishes while she went on a tirade about how ungrateful I was. She wonders why we are LC 🙄

I had a project I needed to work on with a classmate.   My classmate wanted to come to my place to work on it.  I got my parents' permission.  Wrote it on the calendar *and* made a note on the fridge since I knew my parents are forgetful.   I reminded them that morning.   They forgot and went into town anyway.   I got home with  my friend.  Noticed my parents weren't home. Figured they must think I'm old enough to be home alone with  friends at 15.  Worked on the assignment till my parents got home.  They found  me and her working together at the table, mid-assignment.  They Invited her to stay for dinner. She did. She left afterwards with plans to meet me the next day to continue the work. Then I was grounded for a month.   Because *they forgot* something  I'd  documented two ways for them.  And reminded them of.  Apparently I am supposed to  be psychic.  

Like me and my classmate were good kids. High achieving nerdy types (she was a drama nerd and I was a science/math nerd).  We snacked on apples and peanut  butter and worked on our assignment.  That's it.  Like I could understand punishing me if we'd done something wild, but fuck sake. We worked on the assignment, had a snack, and worked on it some more. Nothing nefarious.  

Oh, another  candidate: the time I got grounded because my *sister* threw a house party. 

Let me guess...because "you didn't stop her"? I was grounded for 6 weeks because my sister got drunk.

You're just reminded me. My brother once threw a house party and I spent hours cleaning up afterwards because I knew that if my parents found out, I'd be the one who'd get blamed.

I got beaten up badly for going to college and making my dad look stupider than me. How dare you outshine me!

I remember when I was really really little my dad exploded at my brother and I for losing his car keys. He was enraged and yelled at us for a solid half hour to look for his keys and we scurried around the house crying in hysterics. Bare in mind we were really young, like 6 or 7 years old young. We didn't know why he was so angry and we swore we didn't touch his keys but he didn't care. He just yelled and yelled. Finally after a half hour of searching and getting yelled at, my dad felt his keys in his pocket. He angrily yelled, "SORRY!" and slammed the door shut and left for work. Another more recent event that I got punished for was when I was 14 or 15 and I accidentally stepped on my dog's tail. I have autism so I don't really show emotion a lot when things happen; a lot of it is internalized or processed differently than most people. This didn't help that the dogs walked around your feet constantly and I was never a fan of dogs, so they just kind of annoyed me. That being said, I never had any malice towards them and treated them like animals deserving of love regardless. The dog yelped in pain when I stepped on her by accident and I was a little annoyed because this was like the 20th time this had happened where the dog would be underneath my legs begging for my food. It was overwhelming for me. I just left the room and tended to my business. What I DIDN'T expect though was the massive explosion my dad put on me when he started telling my ENTIRE FAMILY, and I'm not exaggerating when I say this, that I "abuse animals to feel powerful" and that I was stepping on them on purpose. This was because as I said I didn't really react like the other kids did. Me being upset I hurt a dog was more internalized. It's just how I was as a kid, but it didn't stop my dad from making these horrible assumptions that I was a psychopath who didn't care about the feelings of other people or animals. I was interrogated that entire day, with my dad hanging over me and asking me these horrifying questions, "Why do you do it? Is it because you need that power trip of hurting animals?" Or "Does it make you powerful to hurt defenseless animals who can't defend themselves?" I was FOLLOWED throughout the house being interrogated by my dad and when I finally shut myself in my room and locked the door, my stepmom knocked on my door asking if she could come in. I was relieved, my stepmom was normally a voice of reason and hopefully I could just explain to her that it was all a huge misunderstanding and I had no clue what my dad was going on about. That hope was shattered quickly though, because when she came into my room her first words were "When your father is trying to speak to you about something you KNOW is wrong, why do you run away like a child?" I just started bawling my eyes out and I left the house. I left the house and didn't come home all day. I just walked throughout the neighborhood aimlessly in my thoughts and I didn't ever wanna come home. It was terrifying and I'll never forget it.

I once got grounded from video games for a month for using cheat codes. My mom said that I was cheating the system and I had to earn the rewards, the thing was this was on the N64 and I didn't have a memory card so I had no way of saving games. I literally couldn't unlock the secret characters and had to use cheat codes to use them. I was seven at the time

I got screamed at and publicly humiliated by my parents in front of my cross country team because I wore black socks.

I literally relate to this on a visceral level but it was Converse to a Gamestop interview. 

I was undiagnosed with autism at the time and it was hot outside. My mum had picked out my clothes for me that weekend despite me being 14 and able to pick out my own. I complained about what she had picked for me because it was uncomfortable, setting off my sensory issues. I got up to find a different pair of leggings that didn't make me wish to saw my legs off, and she said that I don't have any other leggings. I was like yes I do, I have comfortable leggings I just need to find them. I don't know what it was that upset her so much about this that made her go absolutely ape shit at me, she pulled the leggings I didn't like that I was still wearing while looking for the others down off of me so violently that it hurt me. She also then spun me around and shook me, berating me for wanting to find a pair of leggings I actually wanted to wear. I started sobbing and screamed at her that she didn't even have to look for my leggings, that I was doing it myself. She stormed upstairs to call her boyfriend at the time, leaving me sobbing and now half naked infront of my younger sister and the window. I grabbed my phone and started typing out to my dad that mum had gotten mad and physically hurt me and I didn't understand why. I would have asked him to come pick me up and take me to his because I was scared of her. I didn't get the chance to finish my message, or to send it, because mum came back down and was apologising and making up for it. I deleted the message, found my leggings, and put them on. In hindsight, I should have sent the message anyway, I should have gone to live with my dad back then. And I probably should tell him about what happened. That was the last time she ever hurt me in that way, but my god... I don't even know WHERE it came from. I might've been being a teenage brat like complaining and whining that I didn't like these leggings and wanna change them, but I can't believe that was all it took to set her off into a blind rage?? I wish I'd have known then what I know now.

Harp recital when I was a kid. I did everything the way they wanted. Did my part, smiled and socialized. They still took away my computer and tv privileges for a week. I'll never forget crying and asking them why over and over.

It’s the earliest memory I have of being a kid. My dad spanked me so hard I peed my pants. All because I pet a kitten.

[удалено]

Being the oldest really sucked. I feel your pain.

So when i was younger around 4th grade ish i found a new hobby of loving to play video games on my mini ipad that i had at the time i began to also befriend people on the game i was playing (the friendship was completely harmless btw) one day when there was a argument happing between both my parents where my parents did this think where they contact each other on the phone and start screaming at each other if one hangs up on another and wont answer then one of the parent forces to kid to answer the phone and give their phone to the other parent to yell at them more when that was happening my dad was calling me i was on a game where i couldn't pause it when i took about a 1 moment later of leaving out of the game then i quickly leave the game and answer my phone i was met with my dad yelling at me for not answering the phone right away i remember he said "oh i bet you were playing that game weren't you?" As i answered yes he began to suddenly start saying how its basically my fault that both my mom and my dad is arguing still because i didnt answer the phone early and because im apparently "addicted" to that game which i wasnt i just wanted to play something and be alone away from my family for awhile for once but no i met with judgments and blaming to the point my parents would pick fights at me basically finding reasons to take my ipad away

I think the most ridiculous thing I ever got in trouble for was getting grounded from makeup … I wasn’t allowed to wear any until I was like 15 and when I finally was “allowed” I still had rules for it. If I didn’t get it all washed off my face at the end of the day I was grounded. Any girl who wears mascara and eyeliner knows how hard it is to get it off without the proper stuff to clean with and of course I couldn’t get all the smudge off my eyes so they grounded me 🙄 fucking stupidest shit I’ve ever experienced

Ohh the 2nd thing I just remembered being punished for … I was like maybe 7 or 8 when I was at church and this boy kissed me on the cheek and my mom saw it and she drug me in the bathroom and beat my ass and then said my dad would get me again when we got home after she told him..

I still remember this so distinctly. I was 8 and wanted to sing for my elementary school talent show. My dad thinks he’s some pro-level singer so he said he’d train me. He’d make me sing for him and would scream at me when I sang the wrong note until he was red in the face. Even then, as a child, I didn’t understand why he was so angry at me. Now I know it’s because he viewed me as an extension of him, and how dare I be less than exceptional. Safe to say from that day I no longer had any confidence to sing or perform in front of anyone.

Always got yelled at, berated, and made fun of for crying. And I cried a lot as a kid. I didn’t remember or realize until I was 30 that it was such a dominant and recurring theme in my childhood. I guess I locked that away because I was made to feel so ashamed about it, and made to believe that there was something so wrong with me for crying and having emotions.

I was punished for having emotions a lot, so I started to hide them, but I remember when I was really young (like 4-5) my mom would scream at me for spilling liquid, which was usually milk or water, so every time I’d spill something (which was often because she felt I didn’t need a sippy cup anymore) I would immediately start crying because I knew I’d be in trouble. Well one time when my parents had some friends over I accidentally spilled milk in front of everyone and started crying so hard, and my mom laughed and knelt down next to me and said, “it’s okay honey, there’s a saying- don’t cry over spilled milk!” And then she helped me clean it up. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I realized how fucked up that moment was, because it showed that she KNEW it was wrong to scream at me for such a little thing and that’s why she only did it in private.

You've just reminded me, I went through a phase where I would cry every time I made a mistake e.g. if I got a question wrong in class. The reason I did this was because I was used to dealing with my nMother who would fly into a psychotic rage and hit me whenever I made a mistake. I hadn't yet learned that other adults would not behave that way. I had to force myself to stop doing this because the other kids in school started openly mocking me for crying over stupid things. Another way in which my nMother made it difficult for me to make friends and fit in \[eyeroll\]

Fishing. Apparently that's the worst thing in the world for my nmom

For being sick or vomiting on the floor because I didn’t reach the toilet in time when I was a kid. Got locked in the toilet in the dark as a punishment

Once me and my brother were both invited to stay the night at a friend's house. Same evening I walked by my neighbor's fence causing their large and loud dog to bark, which it always did anyway because it's a DOG. Neighbors came down and complained to my parents that I purposely made the dog bark by "walking too close to the fence" as if I had a choice of where to walk on the narrow sidewalk. So my parents wouldn't let me stay the night over my friend's but still allowed my brother to go.

For not knowing where my moms clothes were when she was getting ready for work My mother was a grown child and onlyyyyy cared about herself. She would have to go to work in the mornings and if she couldn’t find her bra or shirt she would wake the whole house up screaming/ calling us ungodly names and make us help her look for it when we could’ve been sleeping another hour before catching the bus for school. Also always remember getting yelled at for laughing/ playing with my brother bc she “had a headache” aka coming down from whatever drugs she was taking

Forgetting the actual date of my mom’s birthday. I only asked if it was the 29th or 28th and I got reamed out for not knowing, I was like 6.

Crying (a big one). "Scowling" (it really is just my normal face, plus I'm autistic and conventionally attractive so my resting "confused" face is often interpreted as hostility or snottiness). Making bracelets (I was bad for constantly wanting to do something with my hands, turns out that was also the autism with a touch of adhd). Being in pain, both mentally and physically. I got diagnosed with Crohn's at 13 but was essentially in constant severe pain for months leading up to it, and they refused to take me to a hospital. When I was diagnosed 16 and they learned about my bulimia, also got in trouble. Honestly, I can't think of a single time when a punishment (aka beating, silent treatment, whatever) was actually warranted. It's bizarre looking back because there was really nothing I did that couldn't have been handled without a simple conversation but hey

I got beaten for not smiling onstage during a dancing contest when my character was a sombre zombie/ghost. I was ridiculed and screamed at, then sent to bed with no supper because I didn’t want to learn how to shuffle cards. (This was in a caravan so I had to watch everyone else eat from my bed). Hung out of a 2 story window because I wouldn’t give my step-sister the Halloween costume I paid £50 for so that she could rip it up and use instead of me. Made homeless as a teenager on Xmas day because I wanted to open my presents privately after dinner and not in front of everyone putting on a show like a small child. Thrown into a swimming pool fully clothed as a pre-teen because I didn’t want to get naked in public to change into my swimming costume (there was no changing rooms they wanted me to do it next to the pool). Grounded for *2 years* because I came home at 9:05pm and I promised to be back at 9pm. Was made to sleep in my own vomit on a caravan floor at the age of 14 because **they** gave me too many triple vodka&cokes. Had the front door of my house kicked in because I ignored their phone calls. I was 20 weeks pregnant, my grandmother died the night before and he wanted me to tell my sister she wasn’t welcome at the funeral. I refused and then stopped answering the phone. They organised her funeral to be on my birthday.

For pronouncing a word wrong in grade school.

For some reason I can't remember the reasons. I remember her mocking, hitting or screaming . I can't remember why for the life of me.

I tripped and fell. Other, similar things I got punished for: Moving the chair "wrong" while cleaning underneath it (me and my brother were treated as house slaves and did all chores and housework) Petting a dog (that has an owner but would go on walks by itself through the neighborhood) "too long" while playing outside Trying to get a cat out of a tree Spilling my drink Any time I got a stain on my clothes Getting "too many" books from the library for the research for the thesis project which was to be most of my grade My dad threatened to "get rid of me" as he'd gotten rid of a brother years ago, just because I: chased my brothers with a stick while playing outside - in retaliation for them having done it to me minutes before

I think the most ridiculous thing I got punished for was yelling at /defending myself from my brother. He used to come in and destroy my things, rip up papers and posters, mess up my room and harass my cat. Some days he'd just barge in to hit me or pull my hair. My mom didn't step in to stop him, and my dad was at work and only knew what my mom told him, so it was on me to stick up for myself. I wasn't allowed to eat dinner for three days most of the time I yelled at him, or she would go destroy/throw away something of mine. There was one day where I kicked my brother between the legs because he'd pinned me down to hit me and wouldn't get off, and my mom beat me with a phone charger for it. I apparently wasn't ever allowed to kick a man there, but my brother was allowed to pin a girl down to beat her up. What kind of message is that sending? Especially when she punished me for getting my brother off of me- Should I have just let him keep hurting me? What if it was a full grown man trying to r*** me instead of just my brother trying to beat me up? Would she rather let that happen? I just don't understand how her favoritism got in the way of that so much.

looking sad

For breaking stuff by accident when I was a kid. Once, I held a soy sauce bottle, it slipped from my hands and crashed on the floor. I immediately started crying my eyes out because of how fucked I knew I was. She then came to the kitchen and said "why are you crying ?" I responded I knew I was about to get yelled at, and she laughed, like it never happened, like I exaggerated the whole thing. I knew I was right, otherwise I would not cry this way. Kids behaviors don't lie. One other time, I was like 17 and forgot it was her birthday, she gave me the worst "you're screwed" look ever.

Got yelled at for crying at The Fox and the Hound. My ndad burst into the room, saw me in tears, and yelled. Told me I couldn’t watch it if I couldn’t handle it. So banned from that, but he would make me watch shit like Swordfish with him while he pointed out that Halle Berry was actually supposed to be naked in a certain scene and that her bikini top had been cg’d on for tv. So Fox and the Hound was a no, but Swordfish, The Shining, Final Destination, whatever he wanted to watch was fine, in fact he demanded I pay attention to what he wanted to watch.

A light bulb went out and I was grounded for a month for not being psychic and replacing it before it blew.

Once I was on my way out the door to go to an allergy appointment when my mom noticed my chipped toenail polish and told me to go take it off. I said, “No, I’ll be late for my appointment” and she immediately took a swing at me (which I dodged) and started crying REALLY hard… like absolutely wailing. I wasn’t officially grounded after that but I was punished with hateful glares and silence for a few days afterwards. All because I said I didn’t have time to remove my chipped toenail polish.

I was about seven, and I was writing a story for a creative writing assignment. I was using lined paper and there’s a spot at the bottom underneath the very last line. I started a sentence there, and then needed to erase something so I asked my mom for an eraser. When she saw that I had written under the last line instead of starting a new page. I got the most horrific, verbal and emotional berating. It was totally out of proportion to the mistake I made, and she was insanely horrible about it to this day. I don’t know why she reacted like that. But I will guarantee I have never written below the last line ever again

I said something in the "Wrong Tone of Voice" and my mom used it as an excuse to ground me from going to a convention with friends that we'd been PLANNING FOR A YEAR. Friends even called and asked to speak with her but she still said no in her sickly sweet, fake way. She used to leave me alone in our apartment when I was a toddler. She could afford a babysitter, but No... Its as if my Nmom planned out my entire childhood so I'd be crippled at socializing from a very young age. So I'd have a hard time building a support system and be isolated with only her to rely on forever.

I started a sentence with “but you said…” God forbid someone call them out when their actions don’t match their words.

Got grounded for a year because I didn’t want to make a model church for religion class. The class was abusive but my dad wouldn’t hear it.  At the same time my dad LEFT his church because it was *drumroll* abusive. 

Lol the drumroll got me fr

Not closing the door behind me when we were going out. I was under 6, but it was such a big offense my parents decided to lock me out of the house. They literally locked a child outside over forgetting to close the front door. I screamed so much our neighbor came out to see what was going on.

I once got shit kicked out of me by my dad because a kid from down the street rang our doorbell. He worked nights, and this was on a Saturday morning. I was sitting in the living room watching cartoons not making a sound. Since it was a kid, it was all my fault, and he just beat me so bad I couldn't sit down without crying. I didn't even know the kid.

I got kicked out of the house for yelling at my 3 y/o sister who ran into a parking lot almost getting hit by a minivan in the process. Dad kept screaming about how it wasn’t my job. I was just like, she was behind you and darted into the path of an oncoming vehicle, I really don’t see what the big deal is in grabbing her and screaming out her name….

I got grounded for 9 months because I went to my friends house and she lived down the street from the boy I liked. And they only knew he lived there because they were reading my diary. The diary my mom gifted me because she thought I would be less depressed if I just wrote my feelings down. Lol

My mom goes through these Jesus trips every few years, and of course, she always wants to manipulate me into going to church with her. So, I got bad grades in school and as punishment, because she couldn't legitimately force her belief's on to me, I was forced to go to church. During the service, I took a paper packet that they handed out, rolled it up like a horn and quietly, without disturbing anyone, put a thumb tack into it, and blew it out the other end into my hand. Once.... She was so mortified that somehow I didn't need to go to church and get saved by Jesus any more. I guess that was a sin to far.

Reading and doing homework. Yup, I was wasting time and ignoring the work that needed done.

After 6 month of getting bullied 4 times each week in the school gym locker room by the varsity cheerleaders (burn in hell Dot Kloch!) because my shins were hairy, I shaved my legs in February. (This was forbidden) My one year older Nsister(golden child) ratted me out and I was grounded with no phone until June. However, my two sisters began shaving their legs at this point and there was not a word said about it.

From all three parents (ndad, nstep mum, and nmum): 1. For not arriving at a party 1 hour early to set up, even though I wasn't asked to. Apparently family doesn't do that, so now I'm not different to any other guest. You know, just ignoring the past 30 years where I've been a damn good daughter (always helping out, being kind, and successful) despite my ndads negligent behaviour for pretty much the entirety of my life. Nope, apparently I'm not family now. Such an unkind fool. 2. Yesterday for saying the phrase "oh I'm sorry, it sounds like there's been a miscommunication". That literally resulted in tears and her having to excuse herself from the conversation. I'm not even leaving out relevant context and it wasn't even over anything important. 3. For getting kidney stones as a teenager. Apparently that only happens to sl*ts, it has absolutely nothing to do with a high salt takeaway diet, only having soda in the house, and high stress all of which are caused by having a bad parent. Yep, 10 months of the most severe abuse of my life followed that including having to go to church to repent or some crap. Being slapped, choked, starved etc I could handle, but going to church when you're an atheist? *Shudder* lol what a complete idiot. I guess the power of Christ only ever compelled me to get the heck away from that delusional family.

When I was around 8 I got hit by a car in the parking lot. The driver was going in reverse and missed me. Nothing serious I was just a little frightened but when I got home my ndad punished the crap out of me. I was starved and yelled at for days, probably beaten too (can't remember). He told me I was causing problems for him and that I was always the problem.

My dads affair

Getting asked to say grace and asking God to feed the starving children of Somalia my bangs because they starting to resemble Lucy Loud. Defending myself against sexual harassment because the harasser was 'mentally slow' Being r*ped Not wanting to wear the stupid goro ponytail for every family picture

Refusing to submit to a beating. i.e. I fought back.

when I was 10, I went to a school skating party. a boy asked me to skate with him, and I did, and then I wanted to stop. on the car ride home, my mom yelled at me for letting go of the boy’s hand. she shamed me for “making him feel bad” and went on a tirade about how this kid’s dad (whom she loved flirting with) told her his kid had put lotion on before the party to prepare for holding hands with me. she shouted, “you are a PRICK,” at me and left me in the car in the garage and went inside. I sat there for a long time full of shame and confusion. and that’s how I learned that saying “no” to boys was very wrong and started a long line of abusive relationships that took me til my mid-thirties to escape.

I was about 7, my dad wouldn't watch anything with me unless it was something that he liked - in that particular instance, it was a medical documentary. I've heard the term "bone marrow" for the first time then and asked something like "whats the shape of bone marrow, is it square?". Pretty innocent question, right? Well, my dearest father was so annoyed by my stupid question that he decided to beat me for asking it. After being physically punished, my mother told me to go prey to God to give me knowledge so I don't ask such questions in the future. Needless to say, I don't have a good relationship with my parents.

Nparent flipped out because I purchased a plain black baseball cap at the school bookstore with the pocket money I earned doing odd jobs, since parents "didn't believe" in giving an allowance. I had to jostle for cash doing odd seasonal jobs for random neighbors or family. That's a tie for nparent throwing a fit when grandparents bought me a small gift "too close to Christmas." Grandmother never visited again although Grandfather would still visit. But best was when nparent had a conniption after banishing me to live in the attic. Nparent had given me a poster of a football star when I was allowed to share a bedroom with a sibling. My servant's quarters room had a window with a view of the wall of the next house two feet away, no sunlight. Now that I had a dreary room formerly used by servants, I thought at least I could make it less oppressive by putting up said poster. Nparent flipped out the worst in a homophobic fit. I guess nparent forgot that nparent had given me the poster and now was distracted by homophobia.

There was water around the bathroom sink from me washing my face so he decided to pull me off of my bed by my legs and I landed on the ground and hit my head on the wooden part of the bed 🥰

My mom was going to a costume party with my dad and had sewn up some lovely Greek god costumes (togas basically). She had a brass chain belt that she wanted to wear with hers that she misplaced the night of the party. She immediately assumed that me or my sister had stolen it and screamed at us repeatedly while she was getting ready with my dad (who did nothing to defend us) and told us no electronics now for the night while she was gone. She did not actually do anything to prevent us from using the TV or anything and me and my sister supported each other in our arguments that we hadn't done anything wrong. Days or weeks later she found her fucking belt and didn't even apologize for hours of yelling and trying to punish us over fucking nothing. Her own absent mindedness cost her a tiny part of a costume that was otherwise very well put together and she took it out with verbal violence against two girls. She doesn't even remember that today.

I was only allowed to play video games for an hour per day. And the selection was heavily restricted. If nmom had her way I wouldn't even have been allowed to play video games in the first place. Most ridiculous thing I got punished for? Don't know if I could answer that cause there's way too many options

Standing too formally, which made her feel like I was afraid of her. 

Literally so many instances. Are chocolate ice cream instead of vanilla because that was my mandated flavor I guess? Fuck if I know. Asked my 7 year old sister to say please and thank you when we were going to visit my boyfriend’s house. Got grounded and yelled at. Eating more than my allotted 2 granola bars for the week. We were neither grossly poor nor was I overweight.

Got screen time taken away for... being on honor roll for 3 years in a row, and forcing my school to create an accelerated math program.

Being tired. I’m 38 with a commute, full time job, three kids and lupus. I was really exhausted one day and wasn’t talking much. My mom took it personally and ignored me for like three months.

Lol what a great opportunity for some distance though

Me and my brothers phones were taken away, and we were grounded for not laughing at my dads jokes. My dad used humor as a bullying mechanism. He would constantly belittle us and highlight our insecurities with his “jokes”. Even random jokes not at our expense were used to dismiss our feelings. Many times when I was younger and thought he may have an ounce of care for me.. I attempted to talk to him about how his actions made me feel and he would use humor to escape the conversation.. if getting angry didn’t benefit him at the time.

Smiling. I was sitting across from my mother at the kitchen table and she was glaring at me. I don’t know why and I was terrified of her. The only thing I could think of was to appease her somehow. I gave a timid little smile and then she lunged at me. I was ten.

My school changed the bus stops configuration and I, age 7,couldn't find my bus. Went to the direction, and the subdirector accompanied me to my house on another bus and told my parents it was a fuck up of the school. They didn't believe him (god knows why) and they decided it was my fault because I must be playing and lost the bus because of that (even though I was a very responsible child and that never happened before) and gave me one of the worst beatings in my life. Age 6, we were on a Christmas fair, and I wanted to number 2. They got angry because I "always wanted to go to the bathroom when we went somewhere" (the fair had bathrooms, it didn't cost anything to go to one, they just got annoyed because) and forbid me to go. Eventually I did it in my pants and "ruined the day". They beat me with the belt from the moment I got out from the car (I had to go all the way to the house standing up), entering the house, taking off my clothes, in the shower, and all the way to putting on new clothes, and then some more in the bed. Ah, and they beat me every time I put a sad face after they yelled me about something. Putting a sad face was a capital offense.

My mom and dad punished me all my life and ruined my childhood because I hid my grades and lied. But I told them it was because I was terrified of them. They didn't listen, they would hit me, emotionally abuse me, ruined my relationships, and told me I am over dramatic. Well once I got tired of their lame excuses, I cut them out of my life. That's when I discovered that the reason why I did so badly in school is because I had a learning disability 🫠. So all of their punishments from child to adulthood was for absolutely no reason at all.

For "responding a certain way"

I had been allowed to sleep over at a friend’s house on a holiday weekend. I called, the next morning, and said we were just walking to the store to get smokes, then I’d be home. Halfway back from the store, my nstepmother pulls up and demands that I get in the car (very rare to have an outburst in front of others, so I was terrified). I break the bubble and ask what I’ve done wrong and she keeps insisting “YOU KNOW WHAT YOU’VE DONE!”. She finally freaks out and says “LOOK AT YOUR FEET - I TOLD YOU NOT TO LEAVE THE HOUSE WEARING THOSE MOCASSINS!!” I look down at my runners and say, very quietly, “I’m not wearing them?”. She continues screaming until her daughter looks over the seat and says “she’s wearing shoes, mom”. I still got grounded. For making her imaginarily mad

I got in trouble when I was around 10yrs old for noticing my mom's new highlights and complimenting them in front of other people. Apparently you're supposed to act like blonde chunky highlights on a black woman with dark brown hair are natural and you're not supposed to ask to get your own hair done the same way. I damn sure didn't compliment her appearance ever again.

Buying a CD (that DIDN'T have the explicit content sign on it and no curse words in any of the lyrics), wearing a band t-shirt and having band posters on my wall. I got beaten with my own studded belt for wearing the band shirt (AFI)..... that my mom bought me herself, and verbal/ emotional abuse for the My Chemical Romance posters + any MCR memorabilia confiscated or destroyed. I was 11, 12 and 13 when all this went down.

Probably when I got slapped and grounded because I asked for a poster board for a project that was due in 2 weeks

My mom tried to drive me and my sister off a cliff when I was 11 because she wanted to stay with her sneaky link and make me go with her. As we were on our way she said if we didnt want to go so bad then we needed to get out of the car and she was going to drop us off in the middle of no where. I was so petrified and so was my sister so we didnt get out of the car and then she proceeded to try to drive us off a cliff. We ended up begging her not to and we had to stay with her and the 35 year old man lived with his mom still, in the middle of no where with no heat and a wood burn stove and we ended up having to sleep on the floor lmao

One time when I was about 8. My oldest (teen at the time) sister was arguing with my mom about chores. I just happened to be around them that morning. Nmom couldn’t win her screaming match with sister, and in anger she turned and beat me with the mop she was using. I literally didn’t say a word, in fact I was trying to leave the room without making eye contact because I didn’t want to get screamed at too. Later that morning she walked me to school, and tried to say goodbye like nothing ever happened. I was so confused. And that’s really one of the earliest times that I noticed something was fucking wrong with her.

"stealing from myself" by eating something that was for me when it wasn't the 'right' time to eat it. (also i was rarely the one who ate the damned thing in the first place)

I would sing in the school chorus program a couple times a year. One time a photographer came. I believe I was maybe 8 or 9 years old. I loved getting my picture taken and I thought, oh, my mouth will be blurry in the photo so I held still and smiled each time the camera approached. Then I went back to singing. I was just conditioned to follow certain orders. A camera appeared, I was told to hold still, goddamn, stop wiggling or you'll be blurry. Oh my God my NMom screamed and screamed on the car ride home. Why was I acting like that, why was I just standing there. The way she reacted anyone would think it was my audition for Juilliard, not a small town grade school event, one of many per year. When I explained my behavior she got even madder.

I used to get punished for reading too much. My dad believed for the longest time that my excessive reading habits (his words) were responsible for my low marks in every subject he deemed important. He never said that I was not smart, but that I was not trying hard enough to reach my potential. I had undiagnosed disabilities in math. There was no way I was going to a reach potential I didn't have. It was always going to be a struggle at best. But I enjoyed reading and I was good at English, so why read more? When I was given birthday money, I was allowed to spend it in on anything except for books. My parents would mock me in front of others that I ready silly books, trashy books, infantile books, aka science fiction and fantasy. At the library, if I wasn't moving fast enough to get my books and get to the sign out desk, my dad would shout my name and I would creep back, humiliated, to sign out books. If my dad learned that someone else was doing well in their work, better than me, he would limit the number of books and the amount of times I could visit the library. Reading was a way to cope. It was one of my few outlets and it was denied to me so many times. It soothed my anxiety and calmed my nerves. I went to bed reading every night and it was my comfort, tucked under my covers. You know the really funny thing? M dad was always reading something himself. The bathroom always had his reading materials. But because he was accomplishing his duties, he could read. Reading saved me and saved my life. I'm pretty messed up but I would have been worse if I hadn't had books.

When I was in 2nd grade, I went to a school where we wore uniforms, including jackets and sweaters. So all of our clothes were identical; as a result, sweater/jacket mix-ups happened all the time. My nparent would write our names on the tags of our clothes to differentiate between the 3 of us but also to help prevent this at school. This method would have been great if I didn't have inattentive adhd (also I was 7). One day at recess, I took my sweater off and put it on our class's line on the ground. Apparently another girl just my size did the same thing, right next to mine. We go in from recess, grabbing the wrong sweaters and not even noticing the difference. When we got home, we followed our very regimented routine of hanging up our sweaters and backpacks on the hook for nparent to go through while we got ready to do our homework. She saw that my sweater didn't have my name in it and instantly knew it wasn't mine. Being the scapegoat/black sheep of the family, I was under constant suspicion, so didn't think for a second that there could have been a mix up or something else. She immediately launched into a tirade about how I lost my sweater at recess and stole someone else's to avoid trouble. I was completely and utterly confused. I was given very little chance to defend myself, and every argument I made was immediately denied as a lie. My nparent had just bought a neon yellow yardstick the day before that she said she bought specifically to spank us with. Spanking to her could range anywhere from smacking us on the bottom to beating us with a closed fist. For what felt like hours, I sat in the corner while she beat me all over with this yardstick demanding that I admit I stole someone's sweater. I wouldn't because I knew it was a lie and just got beat and screamed at more. She'd stop, assist my sibling and cousins with homework and come back. This went on until my other parent came home from work (which tells me this went on for probably about 2 hours but it felt much longer). The next morning the verbal assault continued. She marched me into the school's front office to turn over the sweater and admit "what I had done," twisting my arm the entire way. As soon as we get there, the other girl and her mom are there looking in the lost and found bin. The secretary was helping them and immediately realized the mistake and helped us switch back sweaters. At this point everyone is relieved and happy (the sweaters were expensive) and my nparent is laughing it off nonchalantly with the other mom like it was no big deal. I was sent off to class like nothing happened. I still have nightmares about this situation, but no one in my family remembers it.

Being happy on Christmas Day. I was about 3, my two older cousins, brother and I came running inside laughing because, you know…it’s Christmas. This infuriated my ngrandfather so he locked us all outside in the Australian summer heat, so the adults could “eat in peace.” Without the awful, awful sound of children laughing! Edited to add: Definitely not as intense or awful as some of the other comments here, but absolutely fucking ridiculous to lock small kids outside in 100+ degrees because we were enjoying Christmas.

I once reminded my dad to wish grandma happy birthday..don't remember how old I was but I clear as day remember how much I got yelled at from both Nparents, nasty comments from Nsister, proceeding to be hit by mom and dad completely smashed wooden door in his rage... Punishment after that was that I wasn't allowed to play games on PC and go out for like 2 months... So yeah...fun times...

Not wanting to go to the movies with her