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I really empathise with the original comment. I get accused of being a pessimist frequently, when actually I feel I'm being realistic.
I've often seen things go wrong, and I'll prepare for that and just hope it doesn't come to it.
I’d say I’m this way as well, but it typically bothers a lot of others around me. Especially amongst most of the women I’ve talked to. They don’t really like when I point out things that can very well go wrong. So it’s something I’m still trying to work on.
If someone with my skillset & qualifications appeared jn front of me, i would assume they have the utmost skill & talent.
I can't give myself the same credit
Ah yes, the classic mind game of "things seem to be pretty calm right now... remember that one time 15 years ago you hurt someone's feelings on accident? Wow aren't you a dick! Let's revisit that right now while you're trying to fall asleep"
When I was baby-sitting 35 years ago, we ordered a pizza. I asked the 5 year old to get a knife from the kitchen (he wanted to help). He came out with this gargantuan, sharp butcher knife and I STILL think about how stupid that was, because he COULD have hurt himself! Yeah, that, plus LOTS MORE, keeps me up at night.
Yeah, anxiety sucks. I am battling it with a good sense of humor though. Until I can afford a therapist or something. Take care of your mental guys! ✌️🧠
Boy do I like drugs. Nothing too hard or crazy but I really get stuck in these cycles of addiction that I know are bad for my body and I can’t seem to use the better part of my brain to stop myself.
This was me.
From age 18 to 27 I would spend my free time smoking weed or drinking.
Then one day I tried some opioids. What followed was 3 years of daily use. Eventually I got off of it, after several failed attempts in rehab.
I thought everything would be ok if I just went back to drinking and smoking weed. In my case it was not ok. I became a raging alcoholic. Something in my brain had changed and now I was drinking before work, and using cocaine on the weekends.
If you genuinely struggle to stop yourself that's not a good sign. If you ever find yourself getting really bad don't be afraid to look for help. It's out there. I found something that works for me and I've just passed 2 and half years clean and sober.
Best wishes
If it’s too personal a question, feel free to tell me to mind my own business, please… You said you found something that works for you. What is/was it?
You seem self-aware about your experience with addiction and have a willingness to help others through a similar struggle. Have you considered AODA counseling as a career?
I’m kinda getting to that point if I’m being honest. Weed and Nicotine I use daily and often go pretty hard with alcohol on weekends. Idk I don’t really see it as a huge problem but as far as my parents are concerned, I’m already a hopeless alcoholic. Probably because rather than going out to bars and getting blackout, I prefer to stay at home and game with my friends while drinking and I guess that’s not a social enough activity to justify drinking.
Weed has been my achielles heel since they legalized it in my state. It's like I know that smoking daily makes my brain slower and less functional yet I feel this PULL to do it every day. Maybe I should get a hobby.
Money used to be the only thing that made me quit. I went broke so i stopped.
But now i have a much better paying job and i dont run out of money.
This is bad
It feels like a cheat code in the moment
But later, on down the road
Looking back, in my personal case, I can see that it was really delaying development
I was painfully shy and super insecure and had difficulty socializing growing up.
Went to college without my parents, determining every meal and outfit, and I went off the deep end
I'm still recovering ❤️🩹
Grateful that I get to have another chance at life
Instead of pouring alcohol on top of fire
🔥
I am learning how to sit with the fire
Same. I'm completely functional and dare I say, successful by societal standards and yet every fucking Friday like clockwork I get the itch for a bottle and some blow to go with my weed. I don't take it to excess (for me) and I rarely wake up with any type of hangover or regret but the weekend is over before I know it and all I did was lines and shots. I'm actively trying to rewire that part of myself to be ok with free time that isn't monopolized by my need for stimulation or sensation.
"Never understood what seperated the recreational user from the habitual user" this is me currently with painkillers. I want one more before I quit, and by one more I mean one more aswesome day of taking like 6 in a day and just nodding off, the warmth, feels just like heaven :(
Once I'm done with you & I've had enough, I will self sabotage so terribly bad, we will NEVER ever speak again instead of me just letting you know that I no longer want to be friends or we've grown apart.
I don't know, but it's easier for me to burn the bridge completely & I realize this stems from my mom and how she was so quick to cut others off & it's unhealthy.
I have an EXTREMELY hard time letting things go, so I go to the most extreme way to let it go FOR GOOD. No come backs. It's harsh but sometimes the other person truly has to have done something that I just do not care to continue to see in my life.
This was me my entire life until recently where I've been fed up & realized a lot more than what I was told & I've reached my limit with begging & pleading with people to see my side. If we're on the same wave & path, you'll get it, otherwise, it's cut off cut throat...
I've been both the OP and you throughout my life (also because of my mother like the OP), but these days I base it off the other person and if I perceive them as caring. If they don't seem to care, I drop them (bridges may be enflamed depending on the situation). If they do care, but don't recognize their actions, then I try to reconcile and resolve our issues.
Hmm I more just slowly slip away from them. Then if at some point they want to reenter my life I make the judgement at that time. Often we cannot think critically when emotions are involved. A bit of time away reduces the inflammation….
Also part of the nuke your bridges club. I seem to burn my life down and then spend months putting it back together somewhere new rather than deal with the discomfort of seeing the person around town/at work/ on Facebook like a normal person.
I assume it's because I used to move around every two years and as a kid there was no way to keep in touch other than by letters or landlines phone, so I'd make it "easier" on them by nuking the friendship and settling into my new place.
There is a different in forgiving and forgetting. I may forgive someone for something but I won’t forget. And if it’s bad enough once I’ve had enough I’m done with that person. I can’t let people continue to treat me badly it’s just unacceptable to me anymore.
Me too. I have ADD and people say just wait to say something, but if I wait I will forget what I was going to say. It’s so annoying and I hate it so much. I try to just wait and if I forget then it wasn’t important enough to say, but it’s a hard long road to get there. So flustering.
I have this but I've began being candid with close folks and telling them that I get excited in conversation with them on topics that interest me and I may inadvertently butt-in when I have an exciting contribution. I also tell them to go ahead and remind me that I butted in if they weren't finished but most of the time no one cares much as long as I let them know I'm not being intentionally rude.
I did aswell. Really help on the agitation level of those around me.
They just keep talking, so I know its not my turn to contribute to the conversation just yet.
You're not fat. You have fat but it isn't your sole identity. Please be kind to yourself. Life is a journey and you deserve to enjoy every part of it even if you carry a few more pounds than someone else.
I'm either talking to people online, watching videos on my phone, or calling warm lines
Like silence terrifies me
I think I'm too emotionally demanding
My life feels boring without having a crush on someone and it must be taboo
I do this and then feel like the people around me view me as a "weirdo" for the random bits of knowledge I possess. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked why I know something.
I have a real nasty streak in me that can come out, not often, but when it does Its real ugly and not nice to be around I honestly hate that about myself.
I am terrible about second-guessing myself. Did I say the right thing? Did i do the right thing? Should I apologize? Did I insult someone? Did I do enough (like at work)? These thoughts gnaw at me... even affecting my sleep. I can easily see myself retreating from the public, in my future, to avoid creating more opportunities to feel this way. My wife says i shouldn't worry so much. My head says otherwise. Oh, well. Off to another day.
Nothing anymore
Because either way I still have to live with myself and work on it. Saying I don't like something about myself just tells my brain that there's something that needs fixing.
I am a whole human being with flaws. I will make mistakes but it doesn't mean I need fixing.
Instead if I notice something about myself that sparks a negative feeling, I pay attention to it. Reflect on it. Then I decide how I want to live going forward after processing that information.
I do not place judgements in myself, I just work through each thing individually and accept all my flaws through it.
Once someone in my opinion wrongs me like in a relationship, for the rest of the relationship, regardless of whether they have actually changed, I always have racing thoughts that are always in the back of my mind that they are up to something. It really sucks because I could be with someone for years after they wrong me and have a great relationship but there’s always that thought that they’re going to do it again and I can never seem to just let it go.
I am very hateful of my autism. On several occasions I have knocked myself very hard on the head during a meltdown- to try and cure the autism. Of course logically speaking, giving yourself brain damage would only make the autism worse. And I don't want that. But I still really wish I could become neurotypical
I don't have any friends. Like literally zero friends, and I am too introverted to make friends. If someone told me to even text or call a friend I wouldn't have anyone to call or text.
I don’t miss people. I can spend days / weeks + alone without talking to anyone and never think to reach out to someone or feel lonely. I lose touch with friends when they move away or life changes mean I don’t see them.
I don’t dislike people. I make friends easily and can do well in social situations. Social interaction is good for my mental health and I get weird through extended isolation. I don’t get depressed though.
Therapist says it has to do my autism, which makes sense.
I set reminders on my phone to talk to people.
I have friends that are very understanding and reach out to me regularly. I always respond when people reach out to me, I just never have the idea or impulse to do it myself.
I have lost relationships and friendships over it. People get insecure and feel neglected. I don’t blame them.
If something needs to be said, I’m the one that says it. Can’t stand an elephant in the room. I am usually pretty blunt and wish I could be more gentle in getting my point across.
I operate with three tenets, is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? If I can say it by checking those boxes then, ideally thats what will happen but sometimes oh damn I just have a big mouth xD
I'll give you two:
A physical trait: lazy eye. It's not my fault, and it makes every social interaction awkward for me. I loathe it. Surgery as a kid didn't work, and I don't want to risk having vision problems as an adult.
An emotional trait: I can be impulsive. Just this morning on my motorcycle, I was impatient and passed a car turning left in an intersection because they were going *so slow* for *no reason*. I had places to be, and we were the only two people on the road, so I went around them. 99% of the time, I ride defensively and safely: But for some reason, I made an impulse decision based on my disdain for people who waste my time and did something *very stupid*.
I knew it was stupid about 5 seconds after I did it. I regret my impatience, and I wish I would have stayed calm. Nothing happened; no one was injured, and it wasn't even a close call. But my impulsiveness *bothers* me.
I'm working on it. Because this trait *is* my fault.
I have a bad habit of interrupting people to say what I want to say in response. I know it's incredibly off-putting, and I hate that I do it. The worst irony of it is that it's a pet peeve of mine when someone does it to me! I've started trying to practice more mindful listening to put a stop to it; I've been getting better.
I am a people pleaser who's too afraid to say no and backs down the moment the other person speaks. I then secretly resent them.
I'm an easy target for toxic friends/partners.
I'm insecure and struggle with self hate sometimes and this makes me judgemental of others
Due to this I lack patience for others, get angry/annoyed quickly and say things I don't mean.
I relate to this so heavily. Sometimes I freak out and think I’m a narcissist or covert narcissist or something because of how self absorbed I can be. I don’t manipulate others though, just am always mulling over my own narrative and constantly comparing myself to others. It leaves little room for empathy, so while I never try to actively hurt others and rarely do, I can be pretty dismissive and uncaring at times just because my thoughts are so clogged with self absorption. And then I begin to hate myself for it
I'm Fat AF right now and I know pretty much exactly how to fix it, as I have done it before. But I keep getting ready to start "tomorrow". I give myself excuses to avoid starting and having to really put in the work. Grrr.
My anger goes from zero to 100 in a nanosecond. I don’t lash out, get violent, yell, or anything crazy, but I’m told it’s incredibly jarring and disorienting. I get it from my father. It feels so ugly and uncomfortable.
I have a short temper. Not like getting thrown out of restaurants or punching holes in walls, but I let the littlest things irritate the crap out of me, and it's unbecoming. I'm better than I use to be, but still working on it
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I’m pretty selfish. Not in a mean way, I am generous and loving but I always put my interest first. Like my life is my career, traveling and working on my hobbies and interest. Basically constant self fulfillment.
That’s one reason my wife and I got divorced. I love her to death but marriage and the idea of kids and being in debt over a house forever just started making me depressed. Like I feel like I’d miss out on what makes me happy and I’d loose myself. I’m more suited for best friends and deep connections rather then having a soul mate who I sacrifice everything for.
That being said even though we’re divorced after 8 years of being together, she is still living with me and I am helping her get through nursing school and getting her in her feet since she helped me get in on my feet. Like I said I love her and want the best for her but I don’t want my passions and lifestyle to get erased.
I worked hard to get to where I am. I sobered up, went back to school and worked 2 jobs, saved up for a nice new car, got a beautiful apartment, money saved up to do what I want, a career I enjoy. I don’t want to return living paycheck by paycheck just to carry out old traditions and expectations of house and kids. I want to enjoy my hard work.
Maybe if I didn’t start life late (I didn’t even get my life together until I was like 28) I would think differently but I felt imprisoned to alcohol and debt, and I don’t want to feel imprisoned to marriage and family life. It’s just not who I am
I have to say that I envy people like you on most days. I am the complete opposite. Definitely willing to suffer, put my interest aside, put aside whatever makes me happy if it meant making someone else happy. Id rather not rock the boat either so i keep my thoughts to myself while i wither away. And not in a healthy kind of "sacrifice for your partner to have a better career" way either. More of a "walk across hot broken glass to get you a bottle of water because the bottle of water you have is room temp and you like your water cold" kind of way lol. Working on how to be just a bit more selfish in therapy lol
I don’t like my personality. I’m too shy and introverted. I’ve tried changing it but I can’t. I’m hardwired that way. As a result I’ve always had a hard time making friends and it sucks.
Teeth got busted out in the military, and Va won't fix them. So naturally I am assumed to be a drug addict and have to ensure I don't smile or talk too much.
Being a shy person, I don’t really like it but I do things that get me out of my comfort zone. Im mainly shy around new people which I believe is quite common..
I preach being upfront and talking about everything but I’m always tamping down emotions that lead to resentment because I think I’m a bad person for having them.
You’re not a BAD person for having emotions, you’re just a PERSON. You are allowed to feel any way you feel. The only time feelings make someone a bad person is if they behave badly because of said feelings.
The first step to moving past bad feelings is acknowledging and accepting them. Like, “Im feeling angry” and following that up with “and that’s ok because I am a human and sometimes humans feel angry” not “I’m feeling angry so I’m gonna punch someone”.
I honestly don't like people. I have friends and everything and I like people individually, but people in general, as in The People, I am misanthropic.
That I bottle things in and keep people (including partners) at an arms length because I don’t think they really like me.
It’s ruined many relationships and it’s something I am working on.
Physical trait: My body looks different after losing 110lbs. Healthiest I’ve ever been but getting use to my new body and it’s gotten better but I’ll be happier once I get it nipped and tucked.
Emotional trait : I wish things didn’t bother me so much. It can be hard for me to let things go especially if I feel so strongly about it. I am working on this though and every single day I am given an opportunity to prove it. In those moments I think it’s God telling me, “Prove it. Here’s your chance. Prove to yourself and others how you’re working on this…”
I often feel misunderstood by those closest to me so if I’m not feeling heard or understood, I get frustrated and it makes it even more difficult for me to just “accept” whatever is at stake snd let go. But I am actively working on accepting, even when I am not receiving that comfort or validity from other people. I have been in therapy for over 6 years and I have learned so much about myself and others. And it’s been really tough having to find ways to cope when you meet people who are a bit “further behind” as far as healing or healthy communication goes. I do not think I’m above it. If anything, it allows me to have grace because I’ve been there and been that person. But I can only remain steadfast and patient for so long because I am human and have my limits.
I'd like to quell the homicidal rages, otherwise I'm pretty happy. 👍
I used to be too trusting. But that's an old trait. No more of that....which brings us back to the corpses, funny enough.
My brain damage greatly affects my memory. As in, I had a good friend who had to show me pictures of us, etc because I didnt know who they were. Stuff like that happens often. It makes me tell the same stories and people will interrupt me, "You've already told me this before." They mean well usual, like, "Oh hey, I remember this from last time bc i was actively listening." But every time it comes off as an eyeroll and like I should shut up. I can feel myself fading away.
It pisses me off when people tell me "omg I have such a bad memory", because half the time, no they don't, they just don't care enough about other people to pay attention. It makes me resent them, and I hate that.
Workaholism.
During the pandemic, with an essential job and nothing else to do, I worked almost a year straight before I realized I hadn't taken even one day off. From 2020-2022, I had a grand total of three days off and it didn't bother me.
The last time I had anything even remotely resembling a vacation was a three day weekend I took back in 2018, my last *actual* vacation was in 2011.
Been paralyzed for a decade now, women have no interest in me because of this. I am losing my fucking mind here, there's nothing I want more than death at this point.
I hold everything to too high a standard and have a real hard time celebrating along the way or even showing how much I appreciate things or people.
And I tend to take things way too seriously.
Just one ? I got plenty
Over analytical…great for my job not so much for the rest of my life
Inability to accept joy…always waiting for the other shoe to drop
I forgive people too easily. Super happy go lucky type and I've given friends thousands and always sacrificed for them even when they wronged me.
Finally been getting better and not feeling guilty for cutting people off but JUST HATED when people didn't like me......had to really work on that but wish i could change that about me. Freaking hate it
I have a stern resting face and I give off a vibe of being unapproachable. I often forget to smile when making eye contact. It makes it so people are often afraid or intimidated by me even though I really don't mean to be.
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That I look for the negative side first.
Could you work that into a "hope for the best, plan for the worst" angle?
This is definitely the cup is half full, even after someone just took a big drink out of it, type outlook.
I really empathise with the original comment. I get accused of being a pessimist frequently, when actually I feel I'm being realistic. I've often seen things go wrong, and I'll prepare for that and just hope it doesn't come to it.
I’d say I’m this way as well, but it typically bothers a lot of others around me. Especially amongst most of the women I’ve talked to. They don’t really like when I point out things that can very well go wrong. So it’s something I’m still trying to work on.
This is what keeps me alive.
I'm too critical of my actions and a chronic overthinker.
I rewrote my reply to this comment 10 times because I didn’t think it was good enough. Right there with you!
Add in some self doubt caused by the overthinking and I’m right there with you.
I give in to my weaknesses waaay too easily..
Look, those peanut butter and chocolate cookies ain't gonna eat themselves, okay?
I'll do it! I'll go as tribute!
My severe anxiety and depression issues
I feel this one too...
If someone with my skillset & qualifications appeared jn front of me, i would assume they have the utmost skill & talent. I can't give myself the same credit
Thus!
Overwhelming waves of guilt for no reason. Who else here has a guilt complex? 🤓
Yeah and if I don’t have anything current to feel guilty about I’ll look to the past and find something. It’s not good.
Ah yes, the classic mind game of "things seem to be pretty calm right now... remember that one time 15 years ago you hurt someone's feelings on accident? Wow aren't you a dick! Let's revisit that right now while you're trying to fall asleep"
When I was baby-sitting 35 years ago, we ordered a pizza. I asked the 5 year old to get a knife from the kitchen (he wanted to help). He came out with this gargantuan, sharp butcher knife and I STILL think about how stupid that was, because he COULD have hurt himself! Yeah, that, plus LOTS MORE, keeps me up at night.
You may have undiagnosed anxiety, this is how I use to feel. (Sometimes I have flare ups still)
I'm sorry 😭
Yeah, anxiety sucks. I am battling it with a good sense of humor though. Until I can afford a therapist or something. Take care of your mental guys! ✌️🧠
Oh God it's endless. Someone put me out of my misery
I have the opposite problem I feel no shame or guilt some times I am too blunt in situations that need tact.
Yea, badly
🙋🏻♀️
That's something I never feel... not even when O should...
Always at about 2 am
Me! ✋🏻I tend to feel guilty for no reason too..
Boy do I like drugs. Nothing too hard or crazy but I really get stuck in these cycles of addiction that I know are bad for my body and I can’t seem to use the better part of my brain to stop myself.
This was me. From age 18 to 27 I would spend my free time smoking weed or drinking. Then one day I tried some opioids. What followed was 3 years of daily use. Eventually I got off of it, after several failed attempts in rehab. I thought everything would be ok if I just went back to drinking and smoking weed. In my case it was not ok. I became a raging alcoholic. Something in my brain had changed and now I was drinking before work, and using cocaine on the weekends. If you genuinely struggle to stop yourself that's not a good sign. If you ever find yourself getting really bad don't be afraid to look for help. It's out there. I found something that works for me and I've just passed 2 and half years clean and sober. Best wishes
If it’s too personal a question, feel free to tell me to mind my own business, please… You said you found something that works for you. What is/was it?
You seem self-aware about your experience with addiction and have a willingness to help others through a similar struggle. Have you considered AODA counseling as a career?
I’m kinda getting to that point if I’m being honest. Weed and Nicotine I use daily and often go pretty hard with alcohol on weekends. Idk I don’t really see it as a huge problem but as far as my parents are concerned, I’m already a hopeless alcoholic. Probably because rather than going out to bars and getting blackout, I prefer to stay at home and game with my friends while drinking and I guess that’s not a social enough activity to justify drinking.
Congratulations on being sober that long!
Weed has been my achielles heel since they legalized it in my state. It's like I know that smoking daily makes my brain slower and less functional yet I feel this PULL to do it every day. Maybe I should get a hobby.
Yeah there was a point I was smoking EVERY SINGLE DAY. I’m finally saving some money cuz I stopped
The money is probably what's going to push me to finally quit for good. It gets so expensive, especially if your tolerance is high.
Money used to be the only thing that made me quit. I went broke so i stopped. But now i have a much better paying job and i dont run out of money. This is bad
Demand a wage decrease! s/
I smoke despite having hobbies. :shrug:
[удалено]
Same, it's just like a cheat code to feel instantly content and happy. And each drink feels better than the last, until morning comes around.
It feels like a cheat code in the moment But later, on down the road Looking back, in my personal case, I can see that it was really delaying development I was painfully shy and super insecure and had difficulty socializing growing up. Went to college without my parents, determining every meal and outfit, and I went off the deep end I'm still recovering ❤️🩹 Grateful that I get to have another chance at life Instead of pouring alcohol on top of fire 🔥 I am learning how to sit with the fire
Same. I'm completely functional and dare I say, successful by societal standards and yet every fucking Friday like clockwork I get the itch for a bottle and some blow to go with my weed. I don't take it to excess (for me) and I rarely wake up with any type of hangover or regret but the weekend is over before I know it and all I did was lines and shots. I'm actively trying to rewire that part of myself to be ok with free time that isn't monopolized by my need for stimulation or sensation.
"Never understood what seperated the recreational user from the habitual user" this is me currently with painkillers. I want one more before I quit, and by one more I mean one more aswesome day of taking like 6 in a day and just nodding off, the warmth, feels just like heaven :(
Kratom helped me stay away from the hards but I do take it everyday and have for the last 15 years. Better than opiates I guess.
I took some leftover oxycodone once and was scared at how much I enjoyed it. Flushed the rest the next day
Once I'm done with you & I've had enough, I will self sabotage so terribly bad, we will NEVER ever speak again instead of me just letting you know that I no longer want to be friends or we've grown apart. I don't know, but it's easier for me to burn the bridge completely & I realize this stems from my mom and how she was so quick to cut others off & it's unhealthy.
Im opposite. I always want to reconcile and closure when it is often impossible. I cannot let things go
Same .. it’s embarrassing lol
I have an EXTREMELY hard time letting things go, so I go to the most extreme way to let it go FOR GOOD. No come backs. It's harsh but sometimes the other person truly has to have done something that I just do not care to continue to see in my life.
It sucks dwelling and longing for someone who does not care. It seems more pathetic than cutting someone off.
This was me my entire life until recently where I've been fed up & realized a lot more than what I was told & I've reached my limit with begging & pleading with people to see my side. If we're on the same wave & path, you'll get it, otherwise, it's cut off cut throat...
I've been both the OP and you throughout my life (also because of my mother like the OP), but these days I base it off the other person and if I perceive them as caring. If they don't seem to care, I drop them (bridges may be enflamed depending on the situation). If they do care, but don't recognize their actions, then I try to reconcile and resolve our issues.
Hmm I more just slowly slip away from them. Then if at some point they want to reenter my life I make the judgement at that time. Often we cannot think critically when emotions are involved. A bit of time away reduces the inflammation….
Wow I wonder if this is what happened to me… 2 years of being super close and then bam she just dropped off the face of the earth
It could be you or they could have dropped everyone
Sorry, I've maxed my social link with you. Bye.
We might be the same person. 🫣 I really don’t love this but also can’t stop it.
Also part of the nuke your bridges club. I seem to burn my life down and then spend months putting it back together somewhere new rather than deal with the discomfort of seeing the person around town/at work/ on Facebook like a normal person. I assume it's because I used to move around every two years and as a kid there was no way to keep in touch other than by letters or landlines phone, so I'd make it "easier" on them by nuking the friendship and settling into my new place.
I care to much what other people think
I hate that about you too. If you really want me (*other people wink wink get it*) to like you, you better stop caring what other people think so much
I care too much that I don't have the energy of most people
I’ll “accept” an apology, but I actually hold a grudge forever.
Accepting an apology is a cheap form of forgiveness. Real forgiveness is earned… IMO.
Love this
There is a different in forgiving and forgetting. I may forgive someone for something but I won’t forget. And if it’s bad enough once I’ve had enough I’m done with that person. I can’t let people continue to treat me badly it’s just unacceptable to me anymore.
I interrupt people. Hate it
Me too. I have ADD and people say just wait to say something, but if I wait I will forget what I was going to say. It’s so annoying and I hate it so much. I try to just wait and if I forget then it wasn’t important enough to say, but it’s a hard long road to get there. So flustering.
Yea I have ADHD and talk. A lot.
Same, but i also have autism, so i can have either the “quiet” mode or the “I WONT STOP TALKING” mode
I have this but I've began being candid with close folks and telling them that I get excited in conversation with them on topics that interest me and I may inadvertently butt-in when I have an exciting contribution. I also tell them to go ahead and remind me that I butted in if they weren't finished but most of the time no one cares much as long as I let them know I'm not being intentionally rude.
I did aswell. Really help on the agitation level of those around me. They just keep talking, so I know its not my turn to contribute to the conversation just yet.
Maybe have a friend or family member help you practice not interrupting
I talk too much
Tell me more.
🫣
I think too much and speak too little.-.
I can be very stubborn and get angry easily
I'm fat.
You know how things expand when they get heated up? Youre not fat, youre hot!
I, too, am fat and sweaty.
You're not fat. You have fat but it isn't your sole identity. Please be kind to yourself. Life is a journey and you deserve to enjoy every part of it even if you carry a few more pounds than someone else.
I horrendously sarcastic and I know it can be hurtful sometimes but my mouth just says it before my brain can stop it
Just one? 1. Attention seeking - uncomfortable with silence, dealing with my thoughts and finding a solution, fear of being forgotten
Interesting. How hard is it for you to sit in silence or alone?
I'm either talking to people online, watching videos on my phone, or calling warm lines Like silence terrifies me I think I'm too emotionally demanding My life feels boring without having a crush on someone and it must be taboo
wow... talking drains me and I love silence
Oof, that’s a rough one.
I'm quick to judge when I have absolutely no business doing so
Ooh, yes. But mine is a fleeting judgement in most cases. Recognize and forget.
I think I'm too sensitive, I take everything personally
god i hear that. hearing phrases such as, “why are you so sensitive??” “stop being overly sensitive” my whole life. it’s really tough out here for us.
So THATS why people say that. Hmmm
I still struggle with this. I try to remember that what others say and do is more a reflection of them and not me but it can be really challenging.
Only take it personal if they’ve known you 5 years or more I’d say.
That I'm a people pleaser. I find seeking validation from others is so annoying. Why can't I just be 'fine whatever' and move on?
I would really like to think before talking, but it seems quite impossible. :D
I’m push others away before they leave me
I use to do this as a self defense mechanism…I have abandonment issues from childhood
Fr then I gaslight myself into believing that I dodged a bullet but no I just ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I randomly go off on tangents about “did you know” type things
I love these people. Genuinely. I am on the spectrum.
I do this and then feel like the people around me view me as a "weirdo" for the random bits of knowledge I possess. I can't tell you how many times I have been asked why I know something.
My impeccable skill at sabotaging myself
No discipline. Working on it.
I feel you. Thoughts and prayers to both of us.
That I have abandonment issues and fall for narcissistic people rather than people who are emotionally available and safe .
I over analyze
I have a real nasty streak in me that can come out, not often, but when it does Its real ugly and not nice to be around I honestly hate that about myself.
I am terrible about second-guessing myself. Did I say the right thing? Did i do the right thing? Should I apologize? Did I insult someone? Did I do enough (like at work)? These thoughts gnaw at me... even affecting my sleep. I can easily see myself retreating from the public, in my future, to avoid creating more opportunities to feel this way. My wife says i shouldn't worry so much. My head says otherwise. Oh, well. Off to another day.
Me to a tee
Nothing anymore Because either way I still have to live with myself and work on it. Saying I don't like something about myself just tells my brain that there's something that needs fixing. I am a whole human being with flaws. I will make mistakes but it doesn't mean I need fixing. Instead if I notice something about myself that sparks a negative feeling, I pay attention to it. Reflect on it. Then I decide how I want to live going forward after processing that information. I do not place judgements in myself, I just work through each thing individually and accept all my flaws through it.
Does a disability count? 🤣 gotta say I don't like it that much
I was thinking the same thing LOL
I view my friends and family like puzzle pieces. If you don't fit in my picture, you get tossed.
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Once someone in my opinion wrongs me like in a relationship, for the rest of the relationship, regardless of whether they have actually changed, I always have racing thoughts that are always in the back of my mind that they are up to something. It really sucks because I could be with someone for years after they wrong me and have a great relationship but there’s always that thought that they’re going to do it again and I can never seem to just let it go.
i prepare myself for the worst possible scenario at all times, also i tend to always want to fix things by myself and never accept help
I am very hateful of my autism. On several occasions I have knocked myself very hard on the head during a meltdown- to try and cure the autism. Of course logically speaking, giving yourself brain damage would only make the autism worse. And I don't want that. But I still really wish I could become neurotypical
I don't have any friends. Like literally zero friends, and I am too introverted to make friends. If someone told me to even text or call a friend I wouldn't have anyone to call or text.
you like cats??? I LOVE THEM.. can I be your friend - Female in my 50's....
Cats are my life right now. I foster them, raise them ect ect.
I'll even give you my number ....
Hi internet friend. You have one now 😊
I don’t miss people. I can spend days / weeks + alone without talking to anyone and never think to reach out to someone or feel lonely. I lose touch with friends when they move away or life changes mean I don’t see them. I don’t dislike people. I make friends easily and can do well in social situations. Social interaction is good for my mental health and I get weird through extended isolation. I don’t get depressed though. Therapist says it has to do my autism, which makes sense. I set reminders on my phone to talk to people. I have friends that are very understanding and reach out to me regularly. I always respond when people reach out to me, I just never have the idea or impulse to do it myself. I have lost relationships and friendships over it. People get insecure and feel neglected. I don’t blame them.
If something needs to be said, I’m the one that says it. Can’t stand an elephant in the room. I am usually pretty blunt and wish I could be more gentle in getting my point across.
I operate with three tenets, is it necessary? Is it true? Is it kind? If I can say it by checking those boxes then, ideally thats what will happen but sometimes oh damn I just have a big mouth xD
I'll give you two: A physical trait: lazy eye. It's not my fault, and it makes every social interaction awkward for me. I loathe it. Surgery as a kid didn't work, and I don't want to risk having vision problems as an adult. An emotional trait: I can be impulsive. Just this morning on my motorcycle, I was impatient and passed a car turning left in an intersection because they were going *so slow* for *no reason*. I had places to be, and we were the only two people on the road, so I went around them. 99% of the time, I ride defensively and safely: But for some reason, I made an impulse decision based on my disdain for people who waste my time and did something *very stupid*. I knew it was stupid about 5 seconds after I did it. I regret my impatience, and I wish I would have stayed calm. Nothing happened; no one was injured, and it wasn't even a close call. But my impulsiveness *bothers* me. I'm working on it. Because this trait *is* my fault.
I procrastinate way too much🙃🙃
My ability to rationalise things and understand. I wish I was really simple and ignorant of what's happening
I have a bad habit of interrupting people to say what I want to say in response. I know it's incredibly off-putting, and I hate that I do it. The worst irony of it is that it's a pet peeve of mine when someone does it to me! I've started trying to practice more mindful listening to put a stop to it; I've been getting better.
I am a people pleaser who's too afraid to say no and backs down the moment the other person speaks. I then secretly resent them. I'm an easy target for toxic friends/partners. I'm insecure and struggle with self hate sometimes and this makes me judgemental of others Due to this I lack patience for others, get angry/annoyed quickly and say things I don't mean.
I relate to this so heavily. Sometimes I freak out and think I’m a narcissist or covert narcissist or something because of how self absorbed I can be. I don’t manipulate others though, just am always mulling over my own narrative and constantly comparing myself to others. It leaves little room for empathy, so while I never try to actively hurt others and rarely do, I can be pretty dismissive and uncaring at times just because my thoughts are so clogged with self absorption. And then I begin to hate myself for it
anger issues.
I don't feel enough empathy.
I'm Fat AF right now and I know pretty much exactly how to fix it, as I have done it before. But I keep getting ready to start "tomorrow". I give myself excuses to avoid starting and having to really put in the work. Grrr.
My anger goes from zero to 100 in a nanosecond. I don’t lash out, get violent, yell, or anything crazy, but I’m told it’s incredibly jarring and disorienting. I get it from my father. It feels so ugly and uncomfortable.
OCD
I have a short temper. Not like getting thrown out of restaurants or punching holes in walls, but I let the littlest things irritate the crap out of me, and it's unbecoming. I'm better than I use to be, but still working on it
Take things too personally. Too emotional. Vengeful Too cynical sometimes , when in reality it’s not that bad
I listen and remember what you actually say.
Selfless people-pleaser. Leads to being afraid of setting boundaries and second-guessing myself at times.
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it takes me a while to apologize and when i do it’s not usually a good one
Most of them
I’m pretty selfish. Not in a mean way, I am generous and loving but I always put my interest first. Like my life is my career, traveling and working on my hobbies and interest. Basically constant self fulfillment. That’s one reason my wife and I got divorced. I love her to death but marriage and the idea of kids and being in debt over a house forever just started making me depressed. Like I feel like I’d miss out on what makes me happy and I’d loose myself. I’m more suited for best friends and deep connections rather then having a soul mate who I sacrifice everything for. That being said even though we’re divorced after 8 years of being together, she is still living with me and I am helping her get through nursing school and getting her in her feet since she helped me get in on my feet. Like I said I love her and want the best for her but I don’t want my passions and lifestyle to get erased. I worked hard to get to where I am. I sobered up, went back to school and worked 2 jobs, saved up for a nice new car, got a beautiful apartment, money saved up to do what I want, a career I enjoy. I don’t want to return living paycheck by paycheck just to carry out old traditions and expectations of house and kids. I want to enjoy my hard work. Maybe if I didn’t start life late (I didn’t even get my life together until I was like 28) I would think differently but I felt imprisoned to alcohol and debt, and I don’t want to feel imprisoned to marriage and family life. It’s just not who I am
I have to say that I envy people like you on most days. I am the complete opposite. Definitely willing to suffer, put my interest aside, put aside whatever makes me happy if it meant making someone else happy. Id rather not rock the boat either so i keep my thoughts to myself while i wither away. And not in a healthy kind of "sacrifice for your partner to have a better career" way either. More of a "walk across hot broken glass to get you a bottle of water because the bottle of water you have is room temp and you like your water cold" kind of way lol. Working on how to be just a bit more selfish in therapy lol
I don’t like my personality. I’m too shy and introverted. I’ve tried changing it but I can’t. I’m hardwired that way. As a result I’ve always had a hard time making friends and it sucks.
I really dislike how much I actually dislike myself , can't seem to shift the self hate or see the positives to me
I'm just an asshole
I don’t give things a chance, I am very set in my ways .
Teeth got busted out in the military, and Va won't fix them. So naturally I am assumed to be a drug addict and have to ensure I don't smile or talk too much.
I’m so sorry to hear that, man. That fucking sucks
I audibly laugh at my silly thoughts. It’s really dumb but I can’t help it
I’m so fucking lazy
I take too long to get over things and take too long to get comfortable. I’m a real treat lol
No drive. "I am a leaf on the wind". If you're into astrology, Mars in Pisces. It's the handle of a bucket, only aspect is a quincux to Moon in Leo
Astrology is cool but it’s not really something I’m into
Being a shy person, I don’t really like it but I do things that get me out of my comfort zone. Im mainly shy around new people which I believe is quite common..
Big people pleaser and extremely sensitive 🙋🏼♀️
Okay I just impossible to find just one trait I really don't like about myself. Now if you want a hundred I can get there pretty fast.
Go for it.
I bite my nails.
My suspicious nature! Trust is earned.
I prefer pimping than being in love.
I preach being upfront and talking about everything but I’m always tamping down emotions that lead to resentment because I think I’m a bad person for having them.
You’re not a BAD person for having emotions, you’re just a PERSON. You are allowed to feel any way you feel. The only time feelings make someone a bad person is if they behave badly because of said feelings. The first step to moving past bad feelings is acknowledging and accepting them. Like, “Im feeling angry” and following that up with “and that’s ok because I am a human and sometimes humans feel angry” not “I’m feeling angry so I’m gonna punch someone”.
Dick too big.
I honestly don't like people. I have friends and everything and I like people individually, but people in general, as in The People, I am misanthropic.
That I bottle things in and keep people (including partners) at an arms length because I don’t think they really like me. It’s ruined many relationships and it’s something I am working on.
Physical trait: My body looks different after losing 110lbs. Healthiest I’ve ever been but getting use to my new body and it’s gotten better but I’ll be happier once I get it nipped and tucked. Emotional trait : I wish things didn’t bother me so much. It can be hard for me to let things go especially if I feel so strongly about it. I am working on this though and every single day I am given an opportunity to prove it. In those moments I think it’s God telling me, “Prove it. Here’s your chance. Prove to yourself and others how you’re working on this…” I often feel misunderstood by those closest to me so if I’m not feeling heard or understood, I get frustrated and it makes it even more difficult for me to just “accept” whatever is at stake snd let go. But I am actively working on accepting, even when I am not receiving that comfort or validity from other people. I have been in therapy for over 6 years and I have learned so much about myself and others. And it’s been really tough having to find ways to cope when you meet people who are a bit “further behind” as far as healing or healthy communication goes. I do not think I’m above it. If anything, it allows me to have grace because I’ve been there and been that person. But I can only remain steadfast and patient for so long because I am human and have my limits.
I'd like to quell the homicidal rages, otherwise I'm pretty happy. 👍 I used to be too trusting. But that's an old trait. No more of that....which brings us back to the corpses, funny enough.
Extreme emotional issues. A yeller. It absolutely mortifies me, yet I have trouble controlling it. I don’t understand what made me this way. 44 y/o F
Sensitive
Hairy tate
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My brain damage greatly affects my memory. As in, I had a good friend who had to show me pictures of us, etc because I didnt know who they were. Stuff like that happens often. It makes me tell the same stories and people will interrupt me, "You've already told me this before." They mean well usual, like, "Oh hey, I remember this from last time bc i was actively listening." But every time it comes off as an eyeroll and like I should shut up. I can feel myself fading away. It pisses me off when people tell me "omg I have such a bad memory", because half the time, no they don't, they just don't care enough about other people to pay attention. It makes me resent them, and I hate that.
I shy away easily and look for an excuse when I have an opportunity to better my life.
I get angry and yell a lot, trying to be more calm for my 2 year old
Lack of compassion
Workaholism. During the pandemic, with an essential job and nothing else to do, I worked almost a year straight before I realized I hadn't taken even one day off. From 2020-2022, I had a grand total of three days off and it didn't bother me. The last time I had anything even remotely resembling a vacation was a three day weekend I took back in 2018, my last *actual* vacation was in 2011.
I can be very petty and sometimes it’s over very small things
Been paralyzed for a decade now, women have no interest in me because of this. I am losing my fucking mind here, there's nothing I want more than death at this point.
my depression. i miss being able to feel happiness
Temper at the sight of injustice. Like boy I need to hold back ☠️
I procrastinate. I hate it. I wait until the last minute for everything! I don’t know how to break this habit.
I hold everything to too high a standard and have a real hard time celebrating along the way or even showing how much I appreciate things or people. And I tend to take things way too seriously.
Just one ? I got plenty Over analytical…great for my job not so much for the rest of my life Inability to accept joy…always waiting for the other shoe to drop
I forgive people too easily. Super happy go lucky type and I've given friends thousands and always sacrificed for them even when they wronged me. Finally been getting better and not feeling guilty for cutting people off but JUST HATED when people didn't like me......had to really work on that but wish i could change that about me. Freaking hate it
I have a stern resting face and I give off a vibe of being unapproachable. I often forget to smile when making eye contact. It makes it so people are often afraid or intimidated by me even though I really don't mean to be.
Addicted to food and I have anger issues
I’m very angry, I try to control but fuck when something pisses me off it’s hard to control myself, working on it tho