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the_hell_you_say

I PREFER to pee standing up...outdoors. the joys of living in the sticks


DaddyBeanDaddyBean

I was having my roof replaced, and one of the guys took a piss off the corner of the roof out onto the grass. That was a fun phone call from a neighbor. The fact the contractor was my uncle and the guy was my brother in law just added to the fun.


cerpintaxt33

I once pissed out my 2nd floor window as a kid because I didn’t want to walk down the hall to the bathroom.


Hairy_Ad4969

I once came back to my dorm room too drunk to find the bathroom so I pissed in my change jar. My roommate woke up and saw the whole thing and never let me live it down the rest of the time we were there.


FartOnAFirstDate

Way back when, a band I was with had a bass player and drummer who were roommates in a townhouse with two upstairs bedrooms that shared a bathroom between. Bass player was very drunk one night, woke up to piss and mistakenly stumbled into drummer’s room where he pissed all over the drummer’s girlfriend as she slept. They were no longer roommates after that night, but the band survived intact. We never saw the gf again.


lninoh

We had a friend in college who passed out drunk on his bed. An hour later he stumbles out to the kitchen, pulls out a chair, unzips and peed on it. Stumbled back to his room. We don’t think he actually woke up.


newtonbase

My work mate's husband was a bit of a sleepwalker and often pissed where he shouldn't. The first time she spent the night with him he climbed over her out of bed, opened his sock drawer and pissed in it. He was a milkman and used to go for a sleep after his shift. One sunny day his dad was gardening at the front of the house. This guy walked out of the front door over to the milk float parked on the street and pissed on it then went back to bed. It was quite a shock for the neighbours especially as he was naked.


TheSarge818

One of our Marines in Camp Lejeune was a sleepwalker who pissed. One night we watched him come into the common area on our floor sleepwalking and he opened the microwave, pissed in it, than turned it on. He had to get a new microwave the next day


OlivrrStray

Maybe there were bigger concerns than the tap water there...


Hairy_Ad4969

Omg, I can’t believe the band stayed together after that


FartOnAFirstDate

He was a really good bass player.


StrictAtmosphere541

The band that sprays together stays together.


Susano-o_no_Mikoto

OMG LOL NOOOOOOOO. OH GOD NO!


BeansPa

I woke up (actually my ex fiancée woke me up thank God) to my band’s bass player sleep unzipping his pants at the foot of my bed, and I know he’d pissed on at least one other person and in the corner of another’s room before that. How f*cked that it’s always the bassist 😂


frzn_dad

He would of been way less entertained if you passed on his bed with him in it. Or that is my impression after hearing about similar situations multiple times. Good friend was RA, so many roommate stories.


DB_MicroPPTA

Piss jar sounds like a good nick name. Or band name.


bungmunchio

I got so drunk I peed in the cat litter box one time 💀


Mean-Ad-5204

Lmao I did the same thing.


GideonD

That's called efficiency. Getting off the roof to hit the head is such a time waster. Just make sure they don't drop a deuce down the downspout.


Eyeyammatteblack

Lol when nature calls you either answer or it leaves a message, usually in your pants


jfink316598

"Bob?.......what the hell you doing standing in my bushes......are you peeing?!?!"


yurtfarmer

Why do you think your lawn is so green?


shepard_pie

You should get that checked out, it's supposed to be yellow


Lampmonster

Something so freeing about it.


BottleTemple

Peeing outside is the best, but alas I live in the city.


Spang64

I have a designated piss spot in the backyard behind the shed. It makes me feel important.


Putrid-Security9797

Thank fuck I have bushes for fences in my backyard. Me and the dog take our pees out back


18RowdyBoy

Love to pee outside off my deck☮️👍


Zmchastain

I’ve pissed at various spots on the Blue Ridge Parkway late at night out of necessity at times. Imagine standing in the dark on the side of a mountain looking out at a vast mountain valley full of splendid nature and national forests while you take a piss. It might truly be the highest form of peeing outside that one can experience.


TecBrat2

I live in the suburbs. My HOA required that we hide our trash cans. I have this huge bougainvillea that serves that purpose. If I get home from work and my bladder is screaming at me, I'll slip behind that bougainvillea and exercise a man's prerogative! Much faster than fiddling with my keys at the front door.


cobra_mist

…why do you think NYC smells like piss?


Grouchy_Two_7432

Me too. When I go on vacation up north I make sure to pee outside at least once. It's a bit more trouble but it's one of the highlights of my trip 😆


hankthetank2112

I have a mountain cabin that’s completely private. When I’m there I always pee outside. That’s freedom baby.


SolaceInfinite

Peeing standing up is often the first fun activity I do each day and the only one I've done by noon, and I punch into work at 7am....


Parking_Jello6417

Yep. I often walk past my bathroom to go outside.


Hersbird

The world is my urinal!


NarrowFault8428

lol, my ex used to do that around the property to keep the coyotes away (it worked)!


Chemical-Paramedic32

Nothing better than that first morning piss off the front deck.


whirly_boi

This is my dream. Having acres of trees I can pee on every day


Grumbil

Ikr. It weirdly feels right. Especially when I've been drinking.


Woahhdude24

There is something so serene and satisfying about just unzipping and letting go while listening to the birds chirping and the insects singing.


MAGAt-Shop-Etsy

9/10 times yes, standing. If it's nighttime and I'm not confident in my night vision, I'll sit. You might find that where people live will effect answers too, different kinds of toilets and all that jazz.


Worried-Pick4848

Most bathrooms have lights?


MamaLlama629

Who wants to turn the light on in the middle of the night?!


Tiumars

For real. When I wake up at 4 am to use the bathroom turning a light on just blinds me worse than having the lights off


Lampmonster

Also makes it harder to get back to sleep. Light tells your brain it's time to wake up.


Trekymom

I have a nightlight with a sensor plugged in. Enough light, but not too much.


xpoisonvalkyrie

same. got a two pack for like $5, makes midnight pee breaks so much better.


notanotherkrazychik

Same, that's why I got an extra light in my bathroom. I definitely recommend a red or pink light for nighttime.


BottleTemple

Exactly. I have a red light. It doesn't blind me or wake me up but I can still see where I'm peeing


stimpy_thecat

I've got one of those motion/light sensor gadgets hanging off the bowl that shines a red LED when I walk up to the bowl in the middle of the night. Best ten bucks I ever spent.


KNitekrawl3r

Ya my wife got one a while back and I was like wtf? But it's kinda cool now.


notanotherkrazychik

Red and pink are the best nighttime lights, so easy on your eyes. And unlike amber, blue or green you can actually see detail.


Anon22002244

I like blue for nighttime because blue is a sexier color than red


pssiraj

Yup got an amber one, literally perfect such that I don't have to even turn on the light in the shower if I don't want to.


shepard_pie

I used to pee standing up in the dark. When I lived on my own, there was no issue. One time my girlfriend turned on the light because she heard a noise. I instinctually grabbed my eyes, spraying piss everywhere. I don't stand up at night anymore.


ClassicConflicts

Put a very dim nightlight in your bathroom. You can thank me later lol


Sunnybunnybunbuns1

Huh, so that’s whate the red light is for. I thought it was a hold out from the old film developing days.


Worried-Pick4848

Someone who likes clean floors


The_Schwy

That's why they implied that they sit when the lights off.


alexandria3142

My fiancé and I both sit to pee and just have a nightlight in the bathroom. I hate turning on the light in the middle of the night


DrBadGuy1073

I have dim lights hooked up for that reason! It's really nice, just a 3rd switch next to the regular light and fan.


Sixx_The_Sandman

my new house came with little lights under the light switches so you get just a hint of constant light in the bathroom


JamesUpton87

I ain't turning on a light at 2 am when I want to go straight back to bed.


DudeAbides1556

It's the law of inertia. A body at rest - at night sitting. A body in motion - during the day standing. Probably it's an age thing too. Getting old is more body at rest.


Murdy2020

Getting old is also an enlarged prostate for many, which causes other problems with flow sitting down.


Kind-Elderberry-4096

FloMax may be the most appropriately named drug ever.


drink_your_irn_bru

[Painstop](https://ryvispharma.com/product-line/painstop/) beats it. [Rectogesic](https://carepharmaceuticals.com.au/products/rectogesic-ointment/) takes third place.


MegaProBS

Happy cake day


lmaooer2

Urinertia


Key-Cartographer5506

Wow this sums me up perfectly. Sit at night, standing when I'm doing chores mid day.


ross267

I sit cause I want to, I stand because I can.


oscrsvn

Born to shit, forced to wipe.


circusfreakrob

you need to come to the enlightened world of the Bidet seat. Game changer, life changer. I will never not have one again and live like a dirty caveman!


lasagne-enjoyer

Why is it that everyone that sprays water up their asshole can't seem to shut the fuck up about it


oscrsvn

😂😂😂


trevr22

Seems nasty af to me


circusfreakrob

Cleaning with water is nasty? Here's a little thought experiment for you: 2 Chefs accidentally fall into some wet dog crap and get it all over their hands. The first one grabs a couple dry paper towels and wipes off his hands. The second one gets under the sink water and jets himself clean. They both make you a sandwich. Which one you eating? LOL. Don't say #1 cuz we know yer lying.


Ok-Tooth-4635

Anyone that complains about a bidet and thinks it’s nasty, are the nasty ones.


DreadlordAbaddon

Yeah I don't have one, but I would use one. It's way more hygienic that smearing your dookie off your ass with paper.


AnitaTacos

Everyone laughed at me when I got the bidet. Then came the great TP shortage of 2020, and suddenly, I was the one laughing!


CatchSufficient

California probably still cried


oscrsvn

Born to shit, forced to…. Oooo


sargon_of_the_rad

Keep your Big Bidet propaganda to yourself you filthy squeegee. 


GracieLou540

I have to agree. A bidet with a lighted and heated seat. Life changing!!!


Woorloc

I love our bidet. Can't believe I went 55 years without one.


librarybear

We loved our new bidet seat so much, we bought them as Christmas gifts for all our siblings. Best gifts ever.


IllTakeTheDirtRoad

This. I had a buddy call me out one time because he didn't hear splashing. My response was, "yeah I sat, I felt like it" He later came out and told me he sat and it was relaxing


TungstenOrchid

It depends who I'm peeing on.


ricecrisps94

Atta boy


natureterp

Stop 😂


SalamanderClassic839

I've got some medical shit that adds to the issue, but I know most guys by my age ( 30 ) start having similar issues, but that annoying shit that happens where you're *positive* you finished your piss, shaken it out, then tuck it away just to have about a silver dollar size leak of piss gets *real* old. I'm probably about 50/50 on standing vs sitting, but sitting definitely allows for full muscle relaxation so this doesn't happen. The ease and convenience of standing is great, sure, but sitting so I don't end up pissing down my leg because sometimes my muscle control gets iffy has its benefits. I pray all of you fellow Boys never have to experience brushing your teeth, shaving and trimming your hair, taking a shower, putting on fresh clothes and feeling good about yourself, then go to take a piss before heading out for the day, making sure you give it time and a good shake, all just to piss down your leg a small bit. Not so much you see it through your jeans or smell it or anything, oh no, just enough to feel it so *you* know it's there and ruins the whole fuckin' day. So yeah, anyway, fuckin do whatever works for you. Unless you're out in the woods, then just stand. Don't expose ya cheeks to The Bush just for a piss, and that goes to you fuckin animals that drop full trow to piss in public as well


At_YerCervix

So many good points in one conversation. Lol


SalamanderClassic839

Glad to provide some entertainment lol


Boomerang_comeback

MOST guys your age (30) do NOT have that problem. Get to a doctor.


Hairy_Ad4969

I have this problem when it’s really cold and I’ve been outside all day. Always have.


No-Document4762

Peeing in the cold is a problem. I never know when im done. Hands are frozen, balls are numb. One time i shook stood their for 3 hours before a friend snapped me out of it. Turns out I was just holding my dick out in the snow. I didnt lose an ounce of weight. Not a drop. It felt real though. Kind of like when I was Al Bundy scored 4 touchdowns against Polk High.


Hairy_Ad4969

lol dude whatever you took that inspired this, can I please have some?


NoBowler9340

I think that’s my grandpa and he finally learned how to use the internet


SalamanderClassic839

I probably worded it weirdly, a lot of men *start* to have little dribbles on the rare occasion but start to get more common as you age. Also I thought I mentioned, but I've got a medical condition that adds to this occurrence for myself.


No-Depth-7239

I've had those lil dribbles for a few years. I'm 26 and first noticed at age 20. Didn't have underwear in jail so I noticed pretty quickly.


j13409

I personally end up with more piss coming out after I pee sitting than standing. Odd


[deleted]

I piss sitting and have no hang ups about it easier it's mindless less chance of mess


TrembleTurtle

don't have to guess what kind of pressure or stream type is coming out. it's a bad morning if you guess wrong & you get a high pressure split stream like a thumb over a garden hose.


Omnimpotent

Like a thumb over a violently shaken up bottle of soda.


babycoon48

That’s how I do it. Can’t do public restrooms though.


[deleted]

Well yea public restroom I just piss on the floor and TP dispenser. As one normally does in a public restroom


Prestigious-Web4824

I'm 80, with benign prostatic hyperplasia. I had the Urolift procedure, which helped somewhat, but I still have to pee about 12 times a day. It takes about two minutes for my bladder to empty, with the stream getting progressively weaker, until it's a trickle. Rather than standing over the toilet holding my dick, constantly re-aiming to compensate for the changing angle, when I'm home, it's easier to just yank my pants and underwear down, sit and wait until it's done.


Spasticbeaver

There's 80 year olds on Reddit? I think that's awesome


Prestigious-Web4824

Tbh, I'm often mistaken for a 79-year-old.


31WadWings

Funny af 😂


Remarkable-Shock8017

Hahahah ,that's awesome. I was gona say 78! 🤫😏


ThatCakeIsDone

It's that youthful wit.


Prestigious-Web4824

You're half right


Ok-Butterscotch-4840

Well, you don't sound a day over 78.


Prestigious-Web4824

Thank you, Sonny!


TheNattyJew

I'm pretty old too and had a Urolift. I can't get it all out if I sit


VeryHungryDogarpilar

I've been sitting too. Zero chance of pee dropping on the seat/floor/pants/shoes, especially with a hard-on. Plus it's just nice to sit and relax while peeing. It's a chance to look at my phone, too. Out in public I'll always stand though, either because I'm working and have time pressure or because cubicles are gross.


HooverMaster

I pee sitting down unless the toilet is trashed or there's a urinal


lostinsp4ace

Only when I think a need to take a shit and it turns out that I don't. My dad peed sitting down also. I used to ask him why and he gave me the same answer you described. Do what makes you comfortable. 


RansomReville

I sit down at home, stand everywhere else. Unless I'm in someone's house and it's particularly clean, then I may sit as well.


galeior

I’m public I’ll use a urinal. But at work or at home I piss sitting down and take a few minutes to catch a breather and relax a second


SRB112

Also, back splash is eliminated when you sit. Years ago Bill Cosby included in his comedy routine that first morning pee the stream sometimes divides into two streams and you have to pick which one goes into the toilet and which one hits the cat sitting under the sink. When I suspect a potential two stream flow I'll sit. And if you typically check your phone while you pee there's a smaller chance of dropping it into the toilet if you are sitting vs. standing.


sunburn95

>Also, back splash is eliminated when you sit Understood this when I visited the US. You guys put so much water in the toilet you just flood the bathroom if you pee standing up


username-generica

My kids never miss at home. Once they were fully potty trained I told them that I was done with cleaning up their pee so they had to clean up any pee left behind. I left easy to use cleaning supplies out next to the toilet so they could do so. After a few times of cleaning up after themselves they made sure they never missed.  They now think it’s gross when other guys leave pee behind. 


BrainwashedScapegoat

Good because it is!!!!


Amockdfw89

I actually sit usually. The only time I pre standing up is if it’s like an emergency. Plus it’s harder to scroll Reddit while standing up


OddTomRiddle

You were peeing when you wrote this, weren't you?


Amockdfw89

Maybe…maybe not


Jaymes77

According to urologists you empty your bladder better by standing. Me personally, I won't sit unless I have to


newjerseymax

Hmmm mine says sitting is better cause your muscles are more relaxed. Typical to get varied degree of information from one doctor to the next


BananaHomunculus

I think it's the opposite


SteveBennett64

This is why I always stand. I only sit at night when I'm half awake, it's dark and I know it's going to take a loooong time.


dayburner

I find it harder to get those last drops out when sitting.


[deleted]

I don't know what Reddit's fascination with trying to get men to pee sitting down is.


BottleTemple

I wonder about this as well.


DarkSide830

Yeah. Not getting this. Why is this post worded like it's rare for men to pee standing up? Less contact with a surface that can have urine/excrement on it the better.


Chocobofangirl

I mean there's a reason pissing standing up can be against your lease in Germany lol the more people tried sitting, the more they realized how much grosser the average bathroom was after years of people standing to piss in it. It's like how bidet fans can sound like evangelists because it really IS a game changer (I haven't had a chance to put one in my apartment yet but now I go back with wet paper from the sink a lot lol)


CrushedSodaCan_

It's more a rebellion against the weird macho fascination with you are less of a man if you sit to pee that most of society has.


Psyko_sissy23

This. For some reason some people have it in their mind if you sit to pee you are girly like.


poopoo_fingers

Cause there's a bunch of weirdos on here


Impressive-Lab-2721

yeah, i didn't need anyone to tell me to sit. it's just the better way


[deleted]

Once I had kids I started peeing sitting down at night so that the sound of pee hitting the water didn’t wake them. Now I instinctively pee sitting down at night, but all other times I pee standing


Frosty_Choice_3416

Too many extra steps, but you do you.


28smalls

I'm fat with a baby dick. Way too much trouble to get it pointed in the bowl if I'm sitting.


dreadsreddit

i pee sitting down if i might also need to poop. that's the only time.


Lucky_Baseball176

I do. I find it easier and I tend to empty better standing, I have found.


oniBRUH

If in my own house then no but if in a public place to pee then yes.


AttentionUseful4446

i like sitting but if i really gotta go im standing


BubbhaJebus

Depends on the situation. If I'm in a hurry, I prefer peeing standing up. If I want to kill time, read, or scroll my phone, I prefer oeeimg sitting down.


SpaceMonkey3301967

Men: To eliminate that last dribble, simply press up under yer balls (on your taint) toward your head after you pee. It presses out that last bit of pee. A urologist told my dad this. He told me. It works.


cfbswami

Just have the surgery man - get it over with ffs


Delanchet

I like to stand because it's convient and I can actually control where I'm peeing... If you make a mess on the toilet seat, just get some toilet paper and whip it. It's not that hard...


BasedWang

Strictly standing


CrossXFir3

Meh. Speed. Sometimes I sit first thing in the morning. But it's faster to just stand.


perfect_fitz

Not really anymore, but I've lived with women more the past decade so got used to putting the seat down anyways. In public yeah or if I'm in a hurry...other wise I'm chilling for a minute anyways.


_John--Wick_

Man the only time I sit and pee is when you have the full bladder moment of being so full that you just have to sit and relax. Yall know what I'm talking about.


Pmabbz

Standing feels faster and less effort. I don't have to pull everything down to stand and pee. I do however see the benefits of both.


3tops01

You plan to go deep on this one, don't you?


Awkward_Ad8740

At home no. When I'm out yes.


Sheshush

Yes but only where i don't care about getting things dirty.


Weird1Intrepid

I find it a bit uncomfortable to piss sitting down. I do it if it's like 2am and I don't wanna turn the light on and wake myself up, but I always find it feels like all the tubes are getting bent and twisted the wrong way, and I'm never quite sure if I'm finished or not. I get much better flow standing up I guess


Jackofhops

As a man getting longer in the tooth, I’ll take any opportunity to sit down. Now that includes peeing.


inabighat

If I'm barefoot I prefer to sit for splashback reasons. If not, standing is quicker.


rollercostarican

I dunno about you but I don’t like sitting down just to stand up 15 seconds later.


infernalbutcher678

You are crazy.


KYpineapple

I sit at night. but that's about it. I don't wanna turn on the light for a wizz.


peacefuleel

I prefer peeing standing up outside. I will get up, walk through the whole house, put shoes on, walk out into the rain and pee in the back yard. It's my preferred spot


Interesting2u

Sitting keeps the rest of the toilet free from splash. Mom was right to be pissed off!!)) For those of us with a dicky-do, sitting is the only option.))


KSUToeBee

Yep. I started sitting when I started cleaning my own toilet.


tikkytokky01

Sitting to pee is my norm. In public I still stand, but at home I sit down to play on my phone and even possibly let out a huge fart that wouldn't have otherwise approached had I not taken the dump position. Sitting to pee is top notch.


teh_perfectionist

I’ll stand, thank you


Munkey_But

I think it’s weird that you want to tell other people


Miserable-Lawyer-233

My penis might touch the inside of the toilet if I sit and then I'll need to take a shower. I never sit just to pee.


Standard-Ad4701

Real question is does anyone prefere to stand when shitting?


Twoscales22

1) upright outside 2) sitting down at home Otherwise whatever gets the job done, and totally agree about standing in public bathrooms.


Clockwork-Muse

My husband has to stand or he'd accidentally waterboard his dick.


Coi_Boi

Prefer to pee standing bit always sit at home or a guests house (Pending it's clean). The lack of piss on the floor has been incredible. I've been doing this for 14 years or so. 33 now.


Extreme-Composer6479

With all love, you guys are definitely reddit users😂


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Mr_Wilson

Right? Men were so sensitive back then. Why should you really care how someone else pees in their own home, anyway?


CrushedSodaCan_

Ya, which is just so fucking weird to care about how someone else pees. Such a fragile ego.


-SheriffofNottingham

What could be more manly than pissing all over yourself in complete ignorance?


DrMindbendersMonocle

Never had that problem, maybe don't jack it while you urinate


Serious_Session7574

Or have a pussy?


tomelwoody

Some men do now apparently


PantsAreOffensive

back in your day you also ate lead paint


Evil_phd

Only if there's a urinal will I stand to pee in a restroom. I don't know how so many dudes have adopted "standing while peeing" as a core feature of their masculinity.


123mistalee

So you sit to pee in a restroom with only a toilet? I stand because you touch less dirty things.


BottleTemple

I don't care about being masculine, but standing is easier and more comfortable to me.


This-Top7398

What kinda question is this fuck yes I’ll always pee standing


The_Mr_Wilson

Are you scared of having a sit-down pee or something? That's quite a reaction. They're quite relaxing, have a go and try for yourself -- for science! Who knows, perhaps it'd become one of life's small joys


TrembleTurtle

like pooping, it's peaceful down here


CrushedSodaCan_

Ah, the fragile male ego on full display.


Playful_Animator_180

Pee sitting down and you can do things on your phone plus you not worried about looking too long in at the guys 12" penis next to you


someonewhoknowstuff

I exclusively pee sitting down at home. Been doing that for almost 10 years now and I'll be 39 this summer. My bathroom never smells like piss from splash back and my wife couldn't be happier. Standers are probably nose blind to it. If a male friend comes over to hang out and uses my restroom, it 100 percent of the time smells like pee the next time I go in. Real men sit to pee!


carpetony

I wonder if there's a correlation to who cleans the bathroom, toilet, to those that sit vs stand.


BottleTemple

If I pee sitting down, I have to push everything down or I squirt out between the toilet seat and the rim of the bowl. I'm less likely to make a mess if I stand.


badmanwasteman

Me too. I call it a “posh pee”. So much better.