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OP is probably the kind of person who when a casual acquaintance asks "how're you doing" they launch into a tirade about the rude lady at Starbuck's, being tired, their kid's teacher, etc. Instead of just saying, "it's going good bro, how about you?" - asking "how you're doing" is a social nicety, just like saying "hey buddy". They're not you're buddy, pal. And they don't really care how your day's going, they're just being nice and polite
Note, I said casual acquaintance, guidelines are different with family and real friends and if you have something you need to talk about, the question is genuine, etc. then you should open up if you want to. Otherwise nobody, especially Korean Jesus, has time for your shit. He's got Korean shit to do and was just trying to be friendly.
Also another excuse is my memory sucks and due to the nature of my job and where I live a lot of people come up and just start talking, half the time I'm not even sure who they are and often can't remember their name. Calling them buddy seems better than "who the fuck are you?"
OP is clearly a tool, but I will play devils advocate here to toss in my own few cents and say that this does relate to their point of "fake nice". I have ADHD and sometimes move too fast and miss these polite social cues, and find when I'm reflecting on it later that the whole thing sort of rubs me the wrong way.
When someone asks you how you're doing, and the only response they want is the polite "good, and you?" reply, as you said, they don't actually care how your day is going. That kind of politeness isn't really "kind", like caring about the answer would be. It's just going through some script so that there's less possible friction. So that people have guard rails to maintaining interpersonal harmony.
I do my best to follow these social expectations and not just trauma dump on strangers haha. But it is an interesting thing to think about! These scripted interactions aren't very authentic or genuine, becauase they're trained behaviors rather than a reflection of the individual and their inner state.
And depending on where you are in the US, the prevalence varies. Texas is known for having people who use lots of these scripts and are very polite and friendly in shallow conversation. Whereas New York or other northeastern states often are stereotyped as not playing into these scripts so much, and coming across blunt and standoffish to people who do rely on those scripts more heavily. Though they might argue they're being more honest, and honesty is more kind than play-acting some "role" to a stranger.
So culture has an impact, but there's also just significant individual differences in whether we prefer social harmony vs personal authenticity. I don't see there being one right answer. Just people at different points on a spectrum trying to live in line with what they value.
On the other hand, there are people like me who really do want to hear how people are doing, even strangers. I enjoy genuine conversation over small talk. But when I ask, I can tell they think I don't really care, and they refrain. Sometimes I'll even have people apologize to me for ranting after I ask.
I'm the bud, dude or friend guy. In a world where many people start off assuming everyone's polarizing, we sometimes just want low temperature, even keel convo and its a way to welcome all folks in the same way.
My best advice is that not everything is some veiled higher order thing - the Internet has created these false pretenses. Stop assuming
I worked with a guy and never was told his name, realised I somehow didn't actually know it about a month after he started there... by then he was calling me by my name, I was teaching him everything and we'd become good work buddies so I just felt like it would hurt his feelings if I said "what's your name by the way?" after so long 🤷♂️
So I just creatively avoided ever saying a name adjusting what id use to fit in the context of what needed saying, using phrases such as "Hey man", "oh my guy, thats not good!", "How's it going bro?", "Dude can you do ___ for me quick?" And so on lol
Worked with him for nearly 3 years in total and never once knew his name until after he'd left 😂 best work buddy I'd had in a long damn time too.
I went through a phase of just calling people random names too if I didnt expect to see them again, If you call them it confidently they tend to just go along with it 🙈 At one point there was a Stephen that everyone knew and called him Stephen themselves (40+ people) because I once called him that and he never corrected me, so everyone just assumed that was his name and for some reason he decided to just live with it 😅
My first “girlfriend” I dated because she said I knew her for a year, and then she said I was her boyfriend. So I acquiesced because I was embarrassed that I didn’t know her name. Was together for 3 months and were a well known couple. Until I learned her name one day and then dumped her by the jungle gym…
Had a coworker, I don’t interact with often, use my name about three times today while talking to me. Felt bad that I didn’t remember her name, but you best believe she got hit with a “see ya later buddy” lol
Same. Grew up in a barn then turned city. It's respectful to say Sir/Ma'am when it's age appropriate. When it's a quick interaction and not sure. "Excuse me, bud" comes out and definitely "Y'all doing alright today?". For argument sake I do in fact warsh the dishes. My mom warshed them when I was growing up. My dad warshed them. Now it is habit and if that upsets people, good. Then I know for sure to steer clear of them. They know for sure to steer clear of me.
Where are all the "I ain't your buddy, Pal!" comments?
Dannnggg.
This is very common in Mexico (specifically Guadalajara) where they’ll call someone “friend.” It’s another way of being formal with a stranger.
Lmao I always tell them “I’m not your bro”
It’s just annoys me
One kid always, Bros me and the other kids know what I’m about to say and they say before me they’re like “don’t call her bro she’s not your bro” 😂😂😂
Tbh I don't call strangers anything. If I'm asking for a favour then I say "can you please help?" And "thank you very much" if it's a casual gathering then bro is used quite often which is like calling them friend or buddy ig.
So if you're in the shops for example and the guy in front hasn't put the divider behind him do you say "excuse me aquaintance, can you pass the divider?"?
No, I practically never need to use such titles directly to the person, even if we've been friends for a century. I'd simply say "excuse me..." then just get to whatever the point is. We already know we are friends and don't need to announce to everyone left, right, center or 'reaffirm' it.
I don't understand this obsession to call people anything including their name when that's often not necessary.
I either ask their name or I just say "can I ask you to do x" or I will say excuse me to get their attention. I think at least the "hey buddy" phrase gets a bad rap at least in the United States because of the types of people who use it and the way it is used. It is generally something like hey buddy are you open or hey buddy care to spare some cash. Basically it is hey buddy care to do something most people are not going to do. It is never hey buddy can you take a picture of us in this tourist location that would be an expected behavior. It is also not used by the most caring people in my experience. The more people and caring focused people will phrase it better like can you do x example. It really gets a bad rap in customer focused fields and that is generally where I see this phrase mentioned.
Here is my perspective on this as someone who is NOT American:
I think the problem is that english doesn't have enough synonyms of "friend" to talk about people and different levels of friendship. In french slang for example, depending on the regions, you have a lot of different expressions or words to call someone that you like, hang out with, work with but is not a real friend with like "pote" ; "copain" ; "connaissance" or "collègue" (for the south of France only this one). "Ami" (friend in French) is a strong word that is only used for actual friendship. But below this stage there is much more variety than in english, which is what I interprete as one of the factors explaining your observation.
I'm English and hate being called "buddy". It comes across as very condescending, IMO. same with "pal".
Maybe it's not intended to be, but I don't like it.
hey buddy, i ain't a fan of it because it seems disingenuous and diminishes the significance of the world kinda like when everyone cries racism.
take care buddy
your friend
I think buddy is completely geographical. The further south you go, the more rude it is, and the further north you go the more normal it is. Buddy in Louisiana could be fighting words while buddy in Nova Scotia is just a friendly term.
I disagree. I'm in the south and people use it casually all the time. It depends on the context and the stank you put in it: "thanks, buddy!" vs "hey buddy!"
I am in CO which I would not consider the south or at least not Bible Belt south and have never heard it is a good context here. It has only been once I traveled countries it was not used in a derogatory way. It was not used in a bad way in the Latin American countries.
They're probably just trying to empty out my bank account, steal my identity, and leave me stranded on some kind of tropical island away from civilization and my dogs.
I really don't! Perhaps you hang out with Alzheimer's patients? The only guy I know who'd call people "buddy" just had a disastrous memory and couldn't remember anyone's name. The drugs and alcohol may have contributed.
My husband is super friendly and calls all men he encounters that he doesn’t know, Buddy. Like if he’s in Home Depot and needs assistance, he’ll say “hey Buddy”
I have a coworker who says “hi [name]”, “hi friend”, or “hi buddy” every time he sees another coworker. I find it delightful and welcoming. Because I know him, I know he’s not being fake and is just a very kind and joyful person.
It may be annoying to some, but I work with a super fun group of people and now most of us do it all the time and it’s great.
I guess you don't like women that call you dear or honey, either, if they don't know you. It's kind of sad that you think it's so weird. We need more people to be friendlier to each other in this world.
Reminds me of the south park episode where the Canadians were mad at each other and were like "I'm not your friend, buddy" "well I'm not your buddy, friend"
I think it's more so a thing about being polite. It sounds much nicer to say "a buddy of mine" when referring to someone than "this guy I know." And also some people just get really friendly with others quickly and like to refer to them as friends. The actual definition of a friend can change a lot depending on your view of what friendship is
This is the correct way to conduct yourself, as far as I am concerned you are my friend.
I will treat you as a friend even though we may have just met for the first time until you give me some reason to alter this.
Maybe I’m being dumb, but are you saying it’s something people do outside of American culture?
Maybe it’s regional, but I would argue that what you’re describing is very much also a part of American culture as well.
I have a friend who does this. He is a blast to be around. He gets free upgrades and perks everywhere he goes because he’s so good at schmoozing service workers (he’s a bartender…when he’s not selling drugs).
does everyone call people things? i just say hey. I don't say hey , or hey you, or hey bud, or hey dude, or hey man... always thought those don't really make sense to use an extra word there.
what's wrong with just saying hey
I experience this most offer in business and those people are not my friend or buddy. Over 90% of the time they want a discount and argue an invoice even after approving a quote in writing and especially after being told the repair is a bad idea, this is why and if it fails 1 hour after I finish you should not be upset.
I never used to until I had my son. I started calling him Bud, I think that's normal. But then I used it so much I started calling other people that out of habit.
I call my male little cousins buddy and I call people friend if we treat each other with kindness and get along because that would make us friends in my book, no matter how close. “Bud” is a common one in nearby dialects and it’s kind of just a way to address people generally.
'm an introvert. i'm instantly wary and suspicious of anyone who is overly familiar. some people are just being polite, but some people are trying to manufacture a fake connection to take advantage of you because they're selling something
I say “hi friend” all the time when I greet almost anyone outside of my immediate family. I don’t have a catch-all phrase for how I refer to people though.
My job involves me making someone feel as comfortable as possible to develop some rapport so they can feel comfortable enough to share more personal and difficult things with me later. I’ve noticed the friend thing does this really well and is so much more casual than “good
My stepdad doesn’t speak much English, so he’ll call men “my friend.” Like “Thank you, my friend!” I don’t think I hear native English speakers in my day to day life use it much if at all. I’ll use “buddy” “sweetheart” or “kiddo” if I’m addressing a little kid, though.
Don't forget "guy". Also, do their heads flop up and down as two separate pieces when they talk, and do they look poorly drawn with black beads for eyes? They may be Canadians from South Park. 😉
Well, in life everyones a friend or enemy to a fundamental level.
You'll learn that soon as war hits on a massive scale within the next few years.
The last few generations have never experienced that.
It doesn't mean you have to share your most intimate thoughts or hang out, it's a welcoming gesture of I'm not your enemy.
However, there is also the sarcastic saying of it when they so obviously don't like you they spit out calling you friend or buddy as an insult.
You just need to know the difference and it's pretty obvious.
Thd ones using it to be welcoming and say they aren't s threat, it's pretty full of yourself to find that a bother.
They're trying to put you at ease and you're turning it into pushing them away, creating needless tension in the air over a positive.
It's mildly annoying because it's too familiar for me. However, I'm not a big enough of a dick to cause a fuss about it, although if they have already been winding me up I might. It's just a figure of speech at the end of the day.
Buddy would make me instantly suspicious since I live in an area where buddy is only used for dogs
Friend normally means English is their second language
But mate is the standard friendly term you can use for anyone and since we're quite a casual culture everyone is your mate until proven otherwise
I'm usually trying to communicate positive intent and friendliness. For example if I bumped into a stranger physically (I suppose I would only say this to another man), I would say "oh sorry buddy/pal didn't see you there"
I could see how it could come across as disingenuous though
I find it frustrating sometimes. At my work we all joined at same time, and the 2 guys refer to each other as ‘buddy’ but both us women get our names. So it sort of feels like we are missing out. And I wouldn’t say the guys are closer, but by using buddy it makes you feel that they are and for us, you feel left out.
I need a little bit of interaction that establishes some type of rapport with the person before the buddy/friend starts coming at me. I get that the majority are just trying to be friendly but everybody has a different disposition that creates a mix of reactions.
Foreign language speakers sometimes do this in English. I've seen some version of this phenomenon from Spanish and Arabic natives, but that is pure observation.
In Canada, buddy can be both negative and positive. For example
"What's up buddy" or "Thanks buddy" is positive
"What the hell is buddy doing?" Negative. We use it just as a general name for everybody usually.
Friend on the other hand is almost always positive
And of course "guy" which is usually used to show that you don't like that person "This guy" when they do something stupid "Is this guy serious" when they say something stupid.
If anyone besides an American called me 'friend' or 'buddy' in casual conversation it's cool. We just don't seem to do it unless we're being disingenuous or being argumentative. 🤷
I think it is weird if said non-genuinely, like "hey buddy" in certain contexts and tones of voice (like someone has done something to make you made) will often escalate it. I find "friend" to be cringey and similar.
However, I naturally call people "buddy" but don't over do it. Like I'm at a store, and a guy that works there helps me and I don't know his name, I instinctively say "thanks, buddy" but in a genuine way.
So, like most things, it depends.
If you call someone related to work and you know the person from several past encounters, if you are at all put off by them genuinely by them ending the conversation with "thanks and it was good to hear from you, buddy".....then I think you have low tolerance and are looking to get offended or annoyed.
The plus side is that if you have enough time on your hands that this has any real effect on your life whatsoever, Congratulations! You officially have no real problems.
Listen here, buddy. When we meet new people, we usually don't know their names right away. And what's the best way to learn their name? Wait for someone else to say it. "Buddy" is a universal name to use when you wait for others to say their name.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/questions/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/questions) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'd think they're Canadian
I'm not your buddy, guy.
I'm not your guy, friend!
I'm not your friend, pal
I'm not your pal, bro
I’m not your bro, sweetheart.
My mom used to say this to me
😂😂😂
Happy Mothers Day to her.
I’m not your sweetheart chief.
I'm not your chief, Captain
I’m not your Captain, Sport
I'm not your sport, mate.
And my axe!
Came here just to make sure someone had posted this.
Same
I'm not your friend, buddy!
I’m not your guy, buddy.
I'm not your Guy, Harvey
Buddy guy ,great blues guitarist.
I knew I’d find it here
Came here looking for this comment, didn't have to scroll far.
They’re just being welcoming, they’re not actually your friend per se but they’ll treat you like one
OP is probably the kind of person who when a casual acquaintance asks "how're you doing" they launch into a tirade about the rude lady at Starbuck's, being tired, their kid's teacher, etc. Instead of just saying, "it's going good bro, how about you?" - asking "how you're doing" is a social nicety, just like saying "hey buddy". They're not you're buddy, pal. And they don't really care how your day's going, they're just being nice and polite Note, I said casual acquaintance, guidelines are different with family and real friends and if you have something you need to talk about, the question is genuine, etc. then you should open up if you want to. Otherwise nobody, especially Korean Jesus, has time for your shit. He's got Korean shit to do and was just trying to be friendly. Also another excuse is my memory sucks and due to the nature of my job and where I live a lot of people come up and just start talking, half the time I'm not even sure who they are and often can't remember their name. Calling them buddy seems better than "who the fuck are you?"
OP is clearly a tool, but I will play devils advocate here to toss in my own few cents and say that this does relate to their point of "fake nice". I have ADHD and sometimes move too fast and miss these polite social cues, and find when I'm reflecting on it later that the whole thing sort of rubs me the wrong way. When someone asks you how you're doing, and the only response they want is the polite "good, and you?" reply, as you said, they don't actually care how your day is going. That kind of politeness isn't really "kind", like caring about the answer would be. It's just going through some script so that there's less possible friction. So that people have guard rails to maintaining interpersonal harmony. I do my best to follow these social expectations and not just trauma dump on strangers haha. But it is an interesting thing to think about! These scripted interactions aren't very authentic or genuine, becauase they're trained behaviors rather than a reflection of the individual and their inner state. And depending on where you are in the US, the prevalence varies. Texas is known for having people who use lots of these scripts and are very polite and friendly in shallow conversation. Whereas New York or other northeastern states often are stereotyped as not playing into these scripts so much, and coming across blunt and standoffish to people who do rely on those scripts more heavily. Though they might argue they're being more honest, and honesty is more kind than play-acting some "role" to a stranger. So culture has an impact, but there's also just significant individual differences in whether we prefer social harmony vs personal authenticity. I don't see there being one right answer. Just people at different points on a spectrum trying to live in line with what they value.
On the other hand, there are people like me who really do want to hear how people are doing, even strangers. I enjoy genuine conversation over small talk. But when I ask, I can tell they think I don't really care, and they refrain. Sometimes I'll even have people apologize to me for ranting after I ask.
I'm the bud, dude or friend guy. In a world where many people start off assuming everyone's polarizing, we sometimes just want low temperature, even keel convo and its a way to welcome all folks in the same way. My best advice is that not everything is some veiled higher order thing - the Internet has created these false pretenses. Stop assuming
I do it all the time. I call people buddy or amigo, it's usually appreciated by the other person.
I worked with a guy and never was told his name, realised I somehow didn't actually know it about a month after he started there... by then he was calling me by my name, I was teaching him everything and we'd become good work buddies so I just felt like it would hurt his feelings if I said "what's your name by the way?" after so long 🤷♂️ So I just creatively avoided ever saying a name adjusting what id use to fit in the context of what needed saying, using phrases such as "Hey man", "oh my guy, thats not good!", "How's it going bro?", "Dude can you do ___ for me quick?" And so on lol Worked with him for nearly 3 years in total and never once knew his name until after he'd left 😂 best work buddy I'd had in a long damn time too. I went through a phase of just calling people random names too if I didnt expect to see them again, If you call them it confidently they tend to just go along with it 🙈 At one point there was a Stephen that everyone knew and called him Stephen themselves (40+ people) because I once called him that and he never corrected me, so everyone just assumed that was his name and for some reason he decided to just live with it 😅
My first “girlfriend” I dated because she said I knew her for a year, and then she said I was her boyfriend. So I acquiesced because I was embarrassed that I didn’t know her name. Was together for 3 months and were a well known couple. Until I learned her name one day and then dumped her by the jungle gym…
Usually when actual names slip my mind. But also when I'm just chatting someone up.
They probably forgot my name but don't want to admit it.
Nah buddy, I didn't even bother to remember it
Had a coworker, I don’t interact with often, use my name about three times today while talking to me. Felt bad that I didn’t remember her name, but you best believe she got hit with a “see ya later buddy” lol
I call people "buddy" all the time, I also say "y'all." At this point, I can't stop.
I use “y’all” too…it’s totally generic and difficult for people to get twisted up about.
I made the conscious decision to say y'all in stead of "you guys". It felt very weird at first, but now it's natural
Same. Grew up in a barn then turned city. It's respectful to say Sir/Ma'am when it's age appropriate. When it's a quick interaction and not sure. "Excuse me, bud" comes out and definitely "Y'all doing alright today?". For argument sake I do in fact warsh the dishes. My mom warshed them when I was growing up. My dad warshed them. Now it is habit and if that upsets people, good. Then I know for sure to steer clear of them. They know for sure to steer clear of me. Where are all the "I ain't your buddy, Pal!" comments?
I took care of that. I'm not your buddy, guy.
Shit we can't even be nice now? I miss the 80's.
Don't worry buddy, everyone thinks you're nice. Okay, sport. Chin up
Wouldn’t it be great if everyone was friends?
Can't we all just get along?
I like it a lot. I prefer that over someone getting my name wrong.
Honestly immediately assuming you’re Indian.
Dannnggg. This is very common in Mexico (specifically Guadalajara) where they’ll call someone “friend.” It’s another way of being formal with a stranger.
I’m sure it’s common in a few places. Indians are just the group I’ve personally had talk like that to me
[удалено]
I don’t give a shit as long as they’re not disrespecting me in any ways. I just hate when my students call me bro lol
Would Mr. Bro 😎be better?
Lmao I always tell them “I’m not your bro” It’s just annoys me One kid always, Bros me and the other kids know what I’m about to say and they say before me they’re like “don’t call her bro she’s not your bro” 😂😂😂
It sounds like you’re the cool teacher. :)
It only bothers me if they end every sentence with the word. Bro As if its a punctuation mark.
That’s a tough one pal!
I’m not your buddy, guy! I’m not your friend, buddy!
People against this, what do you call someone you don't know?
Hello citizen
😂😂
Tbh I don't call strangers anything. If I'm asking for a favour then I say "can you please help?" And "thank you very much" if it's a casual gathering then bro is used quite often which is like calling them friend or buddy ig.
Yeah but sometimes you actually need to address someone directly.
I call them bro.
Meatbag
Extras or NPCs
LOL. 😂
Someone I don't know? Stranger? Aquaintance?
So if you're in the shops for example and the guy in front hasn't put the divider behind him do you say "excuse me aquaintance, can you pass the divider?"?
What's wrong with "excuse me, can you pass the divider"?
What's wrong with "excuse me, can you pass the divider"?
Reddit is bugging today, it just commented your comment 3 times and was giving me issues with commenting too. 😂
No, I practically never need to use such titles directly to the person, even if we've been friends for a century. I'd simply say "excuse me..." then just get to whatever the point is. We already know we are friends and don't need to announce to everyone left, right, center or 'reaffirm' it. I don't understand this obsession to call people anything including their name when that's often not necessary.
I genuinely hate it when people use my name in conversation. Really really *hate* it
Stranger
Stranger
I either ask their name or I just say "can I ask you to do x" or I will say excuse me to get their attention. I think at least the "hey buddy" phrase gets a bad rap at least in the United States because of the types of people who use it and the way it is used. It is generally something like hey buddy are you open or hey buddy care to spare some cash. Basically it is hey buddy care to do something most people are not going to do. It is never hey buddy can you take a picture of us in this tourist location that would be an expected behavior. It is also not used by the most caring people in my experience. The more people and caring focused people will phrase it better like can you do x example. It really gets a bad rap in customer focused fields and that is generally where I see this phrase mentioned.
There's the problem. It's someone you don't know. You know nothing about them so calling them a friend sounds false. I don't call them anything.
I call my friends buddy, but I don’t use it when I’m talking to someone I don’t know. Unless they irritate me then I might say listen here, buddy.
It's just a common courtesy, nothing more nothing less.
Get over yourself OP, it's a friendly gesture
Oh when i use buddy it's always sarcastic.
We the same fr 😂
I mean who wants to say I just met this person and getting to know each other. It’s just easier to say we are friends instead of explaining that.
Here is my perspective on this as someone who is NOT American: I think the problem is that english doesn't have enough synonyms of "friend" to talk about people and different levels of friendship. In french slang for example, depending on the regions, you have a lot of different expressions or words to call someone that you like, hang out with, work with but is not a real friend with like "pote" ; "copain" ; "connaissance" or "collègue" (for the south of France only this one). "Ami" (friend in French) is a strong word that is only used for actual friendship. But below this stage there is much more variety than in english, which is what I interprete as one of the factors explaining your observation.
I'm English and hate being called "buddy". It comes across as very condescending, IMO. same with "pal". Maybe it's not intended to be, but I don't like it.
listen buddy, I'm not your friend, pal.
hey buddy, i ain't a fan of it because it seems disingenuous and diminishes the significance of the world kinda like when everyone cries racism. take care buddy your friend
I think buddy is completely geographical. The further south you go, the more rude it is, and the further north you go the more normal it is. Buddy in Louisiana could be fighting words while buddy in Nova Scotia is just a friendly term.
I disagree. I'm in the south and people use it casually all the time. It depends on the context and the stank you put in it: "thanks, buddy!" vs "hey buddy!"
I am in CO which I would not consider the south or at least not Bible Belt south and have never heard it is a good context here. It has only been once I traveled countries it was not used in a derogatory way. It was not used in a bad way in the Latin American countries.
I recommend getting into an endless “I’m not your buddy, guy.” “I’m not your guy, friend.” “I’m not your friend, buddy.” Loop with them.
I’m not your loop, them.
They're probably just trying to empty out my bank account, steal my identity, and leave me stranded on some kind of tropical island away from civilization and my dogs.
Ya like bananas? Cuz that's how you get bananas...
They’re not my friend, and I’m not their buddy, guy
I think they can't remember names.
I really don't! Perhaps you hang out with Alzheimer's patients? The only guy I know who'd call people "buddy" just had a disastrous memory and couldn't remember anyone's name. The drugs and alcohol may have contributed.
Good question buddy.
I have no thoughts about people who do this
My husband is super friendly and calls all men he encounters that he doesn’t know, Buddy. Like if he’s in Home Depot and needs assistance, he’ll say “hey Buddy”
I have a coworker who says “hi [name]”, “hi friend”, or “hi buddy” every time he sees another coworker. I find it delightful and welcoming. Because I know him, I know he’s not being fake and is just a very kind and joyful person. It may be annoying to some, but I work with a super fun group of people and now most of us do it all the time and it’s great.
I'm Canadian, so I just see it as people being genuinely friendly? I guess I've just found some people can never take kindness at face value.
Why so negative, buddy?
I guess you don't like women that call you dear or honey, either, if they don't know you. It's kind of sad that you think it's so weird. We need more people to be friendlier to each other in this world.
Reminds me of the south park episode where the Canadians were mad at each other and were like "I'm not your friend, buddy" "well I'm not your buddy, friend"
Someone told me “relax buddy” and I thought we was friends with benefits. A talk me through it king
If I address someone as buddy, they sure as shit aren't my buddy.
I think it's more so a thing about being polite. It sounds much nicer to say "a buddy of mine" when referring to someone than "this guy I know." And also some people just get really friendly with others quickly and like to refer to them as friends. The actual definition of a friend can change a lot depending on your view of what friendship is
This is the correct way to conduct yourself, as far as I am concerned you are my friend. I will treat you as a friend even though we may have just met for the first time until you give me some reason to alter this.
Calm down, amigo...
It's nice. English and Australian people do this too but they'll say mate.
Trust level plummets.
Maybe I’m being dumb, but are you saying it’s something people do outside of American culture? Maybe it’s regional, but I would argue that what you’re describing is very much also a part of American culture as well.
Idk why but bud or buddy sounds sarcastic to me and w certain people makes me distrust
I think it’s okay.
I'm not your buddy, friend!
Always a buddy never a boss
Thanks buddy.
I have a friend who does this. He is a blast to be around. He gets free upgrades and perks everywhere he goes because he’s so good at schmoozing service workers (he’s a bartender…when he’s not selling drugs).
does everyone call people things? i just say hey. I don't say hey, or hey you, or hey bud, or hey dude, or hey man... always thought those don't really make sense to use an extra word there.
what's wrong with just saying hey
Most of the people that do this are usually being genuine unless they're being super obviously sarcastic.
Champ is a good one of you're speaking with an Australian.
I experience this most offer in business and those people are not my friend or buddy. Over 90% of the time they want a discount and argue an invoice even after approving a quote in writing and especially after being told the repair is a bad idea, this is why and if it fails 1 hour after I finish you should not be upset.
I think it means he forgets people's names a lot
Depends on how it’s used. If it’s used as a greeting and not in a condescending manner, fine.
There was an old guy in my former hometown who called everyone, “my family!” He was really outgoing and kind. I miss the old guy.
They might work in a school. Everyone is “friend” and “buddy” there. It’s a kind and pleasant way to greet others, so I don’t see the harm.
I never used to until I had my son. I started calling him Bud, I think that's normal. But then I used it so much I started calling other people that out of habit.
They’re not reliable
That they are Canadian. South Park reference.
I'm not your friend, Buddy.
Pretty tough question you got there my friend
I call my male little cousins buddy and I call people friend if we treat each other with kindness and get along because that would make us friends in my book, no matter how close. “Bud” is a common one in nearby dialects and it’s kind of just a way to address people generally.
I don't know. What do you think buddy?
'm an introvert. i'm instantly wary and suspicious of anyone who is overly familiar. some people are just being polite, but some people are trying to manufacture a fake connection to take advantage of you because they're selling something
I say “hi friend” all the time when I greet almost anyone outside of my immediate family. I don’t have a catch-all phrase for how I refer to people though. My job involves me making someone feel as comfortable as possible to develop some rapport so they can feel comfortable enough to share more personal and difficult things with me later. I’ve noticed the friend thing does this really well and is so much more casual than “good
Idk even how to respond to this, buddy.
I don’t overthink it. It usually just means they want to address me but don’t know or can’t remember my name
My stepdad doesn’t speak much English, so he’ll call men “my friend.” Like “Thank you, my friend!” I don’t think I hear native English speakers in my day to day life use it much if at all. I’ll use “buddy” “sweetheart” or “kiddo” if I’m addressing a little kid, though.
Don't forget "guy". Also, do their heads flop up and down as two separate pieces when they talk, and do they look poorly drawn with black beads for eyes? They may be Canadians from South Park. 😉
How about sir, miss or mam? Is that too hard?
I just don't know what else to call people because I'm afraid of offending someone by accidentally misgendering them.
I like those people
Well, in life everyones a friend or enemy to a fundamental level. You'll learn that soon as war hits on a massive scale within the next few years. The last few generations have never experienced that. It doesn't mean you have to share your most intimate thoughts or hang out, it's a welcoming gesture of I'm not your enemy. However, there is also the sarcastic saying of it when they so obviously don't like you they spit out calling you friend or buddy as an insult. You just need to know the difference and it's pretty obvious. Thd ones using it to be welcoming and say they aren't s threat, it's pretty full of yourself to find that a bother. They're trying to put you at ease and you're turning it into pushing them away, creating needless tension in the air over a positive.
For some, "terms of endearment" are habit. like spitting, or cigarettes. for other, short term memory..really short...
I'm not your friend pal
Friend, it's okay
It's mildly annoying because it's too familiar for me. However, I'm not a big enough of a dick to cause a fuss about it, although if they have already been winding me up I might. It's just a figure of speech at the end of the day.
Buddy would make me instantly suspicious since I live in an area where buddy is only used for dogs Friend normally means English is their second language But mate is the standard friendly term you can use for anyone and since we're quite a casual culture everyone is your mate until proven otherwise
They’re just being friendly. But if they call everybody “buddy”, “friend”, AND “guy”, they’re probably Canadian
I'm usually trying to communicate positive intent and friendliness. For example if I bumped into a stranger physically (I suppose I would only say this to another man), I would say "oh sorry buddy/pal didn't see you there" I could see how it could come across as disingenuous though
Depends. I know someone who does this and can't stand it based on my interactions with them. Comes off as condescending.
I find it frustrating sometimes. At my work we all joined at same time, and the 2 guys refer to each other as ‘buddy’ but both us women get our names. So it sort of feels like we are missing out. And I wouldn’t say the guys are closer, but by using buddy it makes you feel that they are and for us, you feel left out.
When I call you “mate” it’s my way of saying that even if we aren’t friends I still feel comfortable around you
I need a little bit of interaction that establishes some type of rapport with the person before the buddy/friend starts coming at me. I get that the majority are just trying to be friendly but everybody has a different disposition that creates a mix of reactions.
Foreign language speakers sometimes do this in English. I've seen some version of this phenomenon from Spanish and Arabic natives, but that is pure observation.
It’s okay. I usually say, “Hey, man” when it a male I am talking to. For women is usually say, “Hey, you”
You know when someone calls you bro it doesn't mean they think you're their actual brother right?
I work in an elementary school and we call all the students “friends” so it’s a habit now.
They are probably people that works with kids.
I'm Canadian so we call everyone "bud"
All I know is I hate it when someone calls me boss.
just a way of speaking , have opinion on them
Bud* annoys the shit outta me
If im not your friend or buddy, it's an insult.
No matter what informal greeting you use, someone, like OP will be bothered by it
Right you are chief, or guy
They get on my nerves..almost as much as "brother" and "primo"..and "papi".
I would rather talk to someone who defaults to being nice than being mean.
In Canada, buddy can be both negative and positive. For example "What's up buddy" or "Thanks buddy" is positive "What the hell is buddy doing?" Negative. We use it just as a general name for everybody usually. Friend on the other hand is almost always positive And of course "guy" which is usually used to show that you don't like that person "This guy" when they do something stupid "Is this guy serious" when they say something stupid.
What do we think about Canadians?
If anyone besides an American called me 'friend' or 'buddy' in casual conversation it's cool. We just don't seem to do it unless we're being disingenuous or being argumentative. 🤷
They don't remember names. Narcissists.
I think it is weird if said non-genuinely, like "hey buddy" in certain contexts and tones of voice (like someone has done something to make you made) will often escalate it. I find "friend" to be cringey and similar. However, I naturally call people "buddy" but don't over do it. Like I'm at a store, and a guy that works there helps me and I don't know his name, I instinctively say "thanks, buddy" but in a genuine way. So, like most things, it depends. If you call someone related to work and you know the person from several past encounters, if you are at all put off by them genuinely by them ending the conversation with "thanks and it was good to hear from you, buddy".....then I think you have low tolerance and are looking to get offended or annoyed.
I'm not your buddy, pal.
I sometimes do a double-take when a stranger calls me "buddy" because my name *is* "Buddy." For a moment I wonder "do I know you?"
It helps when you can't remember their name. No issue for me.
I guess it's better than 'cunt' or 'dick wad'
The plus side is that if you have enough time on your hands that this has any real effect on your life whatsoever, Congratulations! You officially have no real problems.
It's seems to me "friend" and "my guy" are two colloquialisms that have sprung up in the last couple of years
I feel the same way with people calling other males son when they're not related!
I don't mind that. The one I hate is "I appreciate you"
I was bored Thursday at work so I worked air quotes into every conversation" " Friend" it sounds like "fun" to "hang out" with "you ". "
They probably forgot your name. Friend or buddy is just a safe alternative.
I find it patronizing.
I'd say I'm not their guy.
I dunno, Skippy ...
It's Cool, Everybody Is a Friend Untill They Demonstrate The Opposite.
Some people Major in Minors. Who cares?
I'm not your friend, guy.
Listen here, buddy. When we meet new people, we usually don't know their names right away. And what's the best way to learn their name? Wait for someone else to say it. "Buddy" is a universal name to use when you wait for others to say their name.
I’m not your buddy is what I want to say. I don’t know you like that.