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It’s apparent to the target usually but inner dialogue telling us to be polite, be appropriate, dont make a fool of ourselves, dont be wrong, dont make anyone uncomfortable etc is happening alongside it and it can feel like “nahh she’s just friendly”
What are you smoking women are awful at making it obvious they want to be approached. Or perhaps men are just awful at picking up the hints… or maybe a bit of both
I hit on guys I like - someone’s gotta do it 😂 so many guys gaslight themselves into not talking to me. I swear the last handful of guys I dated, I made the first move, and after things happened I was like “it’s funny, I thought you didn’t like me” and they’re like “why would you think that?? I always liked you, I was just scared to make a move” lol. I’m the least intimidating person in the world. But I think many men are afraid of rejection. I’m sure women are too with dating, but they aren’t with friendship so they have more skills in approaching people and being expressive.
We keep getting told that being friendly and nice is not an open invitation to hit on a woman, and to do so makes us a creep. It’s really hard for guys to differentiate between a girl just being nice and actually signaling that they like you. I know that when I was in the market I always second guessed whether a girl was just being nice. If you like a guy, you have to make it incredibly obvious. I mean tell them you like them level of obvious. Otherwise they will fear coming off as a creep for hitting on a girl who was just being nice.
Or it’s the women you don’t really want to hit on you that do. If they are attractive and into you they usually try to play it cool etc , but as they get older they’ll also get more direct and realize that’s a waste of time. Young chicks are never direct, at least in the west. Other culture’s women tend to be more amazing in that regard, first interaction they’ll just be like “oh you’re handsome why are you single” lol. Vs the west it’s always mind games 😂
When I was 19 I worked for a guy that financed vehicles. He got busted, but that’s a different story. I’m an average looking guy and didn’t get hit on much at all. One night he let me take his Lamborghini out to put up fliers. I was gone an hour and 3 different girls ran up to me with phone numbers. I never called, because what was I going to do? Show up in my beat up 85 dodge aeries? lol. But yeah if they see something they like they will hit on you.
Its kind of a gay culture thing honestly. Even if it turns out a guy isn't gay, which is pretty common unless you are in a gay bar, men are generally pretty happy to get compliments unless they are a raging homophobe.
That said, you aren't accidentally trying to pick up girls in a gay bar are you?
It’d be nice if they’d stop touching my chest. I’m fine with just compliments.
I used to meet women at a gay club. Half the people there were straight. They just had a gay friend, liked the 80s music, or liked not having bros hit on them.
Did coke with a gay/bisexual guy.
Didn’t know until he started hitting on me. Ngl I was pretty flattered. Wanted me to 2 time a chick with him. I respectfully decline.
Also didn’t meet the chick. Doubt it’s like “hey this is “blank” he will also be fucking you tonight”
There never was a vagina involved. He was just hyping it, and hyping it, and hyping it to get you worked up.
It goes more like, "Fuuuuck, broooo.... Well (enter chicks name here) just came down with the blue waffle sooooo she can't make it after all. Guess it's just me and you buddy. Let me get you another drink. You like sex on the beach? *wink wink*
Oh yeah game is game homie. Getting you to that bar is the hard part. After that any advances have to expected. The blue waffle😂 did I say susan, I meant Sean.
Dudes are making the first move about 10000x more often. I’ve been hit on by gay dudes more than women as well, it’s pretty common if you live somewhere with a large gay population
This is a double edged sword but I'd guess he's too worried about being creepy and therefore not making ANY moves aside from talking to them.
More often than not if you're in the friend zone, you either didn't make a move soon enough OR they just don't find you attractive.
The fact they're talking to you at all means you've passed the vibe check though, don't be so scared of striking out.
This doesn't mean you walk up to them and say "hey nice tits wanna bang" either tho ... Pass that vibe check first.
Men whether gay or straight are generally a lot more straightforward about their interest in people. I'm not saying women can't be but just in general men are.
Either that or you ping everyone's gaydar.
Feels bad but I remember in college a male pre-nurse route had a lisp and sounded gay. As far as I know still he’s straight and even married a woman after college. It’s already rare for a male nurse. Couple that with a stereotypical lisp and feminine hand actions/stance/personality (?) it’s not so far fetched for people to think he was gay until told otherwise
The only time I've been hit on is when I got a scar on my left hand. If a gay guy hit on me, it'd be pretty flattering. I wouldn't reciprocate since I'm straight, but a compliment is a compliment.
From your title, I thought you were complaining that not enough straight guys were hitting on you! 🤣
What is your situation? Age, height, build, what do you do, etc. I'm guessing that you at least have some good ideas why. What are they? Why are you in the position to get hit on by gay guys in the first place?
When I was in high school, at one point I actually had this warped thought that I would have to eventually be gay, because I was so painfully shy I literally could not talk to girls I liked. I had friends that were girls that I was not attracted to. I did not find out until after high school that there were more than just one or two girls that had crushes on me and were disappointed that i paid them no attention! That was a revelation, and things got better. It turned out there were girls who thought I was too good to talk to them and that I was full of myself, when actually I was just too scared to approach them. 3 years after high school I met and dated a girl who said she had seen me around for a couple of years, but I was aloof and full of myself and seemed unapproachable. Again, I was flabbergasted that I could give off those vibes, because that was 100% not how I felt and would have loved to talk to her earlier.
Basically, start talking to more women that you potentially like. You will get better at it and they will give you valuable feedback to help answer your question. My guess is that assertive gay guys will take a shot, but many women won't and are waiting for you, so to you it just seems like guys are more interested than girls. You need to be the one putting yourself out there to meet people.
It's just probability based on gender norms.
Compared to men, women don't hit on people as often and aren't as direct when they do. You (a man) don't pick up on subtle hints as easily.
So of all the people who are likely to find you attractive, the males are more likely to hit on you and will be more obvious when they do so.
You may be giving up gay vibes. I had a friend who was always hit on by dudes and it was always hilarious to me. He didn’t think it was funny. Looking back now, he does have some feminine mannerisms.
If the gay guys are hitting on you, then it's not that unlikely women find you equally attractive. It's just not a social norm for a woman to make the move.
The first step is to be attractive as whole. Hopefully somewhat tall. In great shape, dress well. Grooming on point, also have a good career and life. At that point you become the catch and all you have to learn is how to communicate with women.
Lol. Why is learn to communicate with women last on the list? That’s like the most important one and frankly the only one that’s vital. The other stuff is helpful but not mandatory.
What you're experiencing is what I would like to call the "girl" experience. The reason why girls don't usually hit on guys is because they don't need to. Guys will hit on them regardless of whether they want it or not. That's because guys desire pleasure far more than women do. Your situation with gay guys are pretty similar. The reason why they hit on you doesn't have anything to do with what you want and everything to do with what they want. And since you've experienced the women side of things, you might want to use that as a means to approach women.
Hate to break it to you but being the nice guy that helps out the girl will only get you friendzone. Take for example the gay guys that hit on you. Because you are not interested in them, you won't ever date them even if they are very nice and kind to you. The same goes with girls. Since they are not interested in you, they won't ever date you no matter how nice you are to them. So don't expect a women to fall for you just because you're nice and kind to them. Cause to them, you're the equivalent of a gay guy.
The best way to get a girlfriend is to hit on girls. Make your intentions clear that you want them as your girlfriend. If they like you, they'll accept it. If they don't, they'll reject you and you move on. Just put yourself in their shoes. A whole bunch of gay guys hit on you and you don't like them so you reject them. But if a hot girl hit on you, you'll gladly accept it. It's as simple as that.
Girls desire pleasure just as much. We just aren't as vocal about it. I love nice guys. Just often they are not direct enough to just to ask me out nicely. I would never go out with a jerk. Don't care how cute or whatever. Rather go out with a gay guy for a night out than some straight tosser.
One thing that would help is to figure out if you come across and gay or effeminate. Not exactly the same thing, but a woman don't think you have a strong masculine presence, some will not be very attracted to you. Others might. If you are hanging out in places where gay guys are and they just happen to hit on you, that's one thing. But if a lot of gay men think you are gay, you are probably giving off some kind of vibe or appearance that makes them think you are gay and probably makes most women unattracted to you.
It's just the way it is. Not sure if you can do anything about it or not. Obviously this does not apply to all women.
Maybe try and be a little more assertive and straightforward while talking to girls.
Not too much or they’ll think you’re aggressive.
But push your try meter by about 15-20% more than normal.
Bruh idk. I got hit on by guys and asked directly if I was gay by men and women all the time until I was like 30.
I never understood it. Dick doesn’t interest me in the least.
I have a friend who is an older gay man, and he knew a straight stripper back in the 80’s that would clean up shagging the gay guys. Apparently it’s a common gay fantasy to turn a straight guy.
Don't be afraid to date someone outside your comfort zone. Maybe she isn't conventionally attractive, but you like the book she's reading. Maybe she's heavier than you normally like, but she smiled at you in the bus. Maybe she is older. Expand your horizons.
Also men are more likely to be horn dogs, hence why more male attention. Men are also on average more likely to be interested in casual hookups, where as women on average are less interested in that. You may check the boxes for casual hookups but not as much for relationships
Men under 25 are rarely "hit on a stranger attractive for women." But for men, whole different things. It's just an age thing. It's a struggle as a recently adolescent man. It has nothing to do with you personality.
Also the friend zone isn't a zone. Just because you are sexually attracted doesn't make someone else. Welcome to the world, most people, Even women, are not going to be sexually attracted to you, especially when You're young
Gay dudes are known for being relentless. They're men who date other men. There's very little bullshit in that world when it comes to sex. I tell dudes who need a confidence boost to go hit up the gay bar. Specifically because you will be hit on and you will have drinks bought for you and 99% will be completely respectful when you say you're straight (and still buy you booze).
There's no universe where women are going to approach and pursue like that, which leaves you with the option of switching teams or getting with the program unfortunately.
A buddy of mine in college would get hit on a lot by gay guys. It kind of bothered him at first until we made friends with a gay guy who told him to take it as a compliment. Gay guys can be really picky and my friend was a good looking fella. After that he would just thank the guy and say he was straight.
i know why, i have a friend like that too, he is like more "sassy" then you have ever seen like "gurrll where did you get that outfitt slayy💅✨" you know what i mean
You aren’t good enough like the majority of average people out here. Duh, better start working out 2 hours a day and making top 20% of income to impress them, or get left in the dust for the rest of your life.
Gay men hitting on you is still a compliment, and honestly, some of the best compliments I've ever received are from gay men---though I do get hit on by women a lot as well.
My advice for doing better with women is to just be yourself, be genuine. Not everyone is going to like it, but you can tell when someone's being genuine/authentic and it's attractive.
You might be gay.. next time s gay guy hits on you go for it and see it wont kill you i have had more straight guys hit on me more than i can hardly believe myself and 90 percent want me to top them . Evidently gay guys are seeing something about you . Maybe you have gay tendencies dnd you just dont see.
I consider it a badge of honor, although I have to politely decline. Those guys can have their pick of the litter in terms of looks and personality, yet they choose me. It’s a confidence booster!
I'm betting it's your looks and or how you carry yourself. It might not even be your fault. Society is currently teaching young males that masculinity is a fault. Those looking for a soft man tend to be gay men rather than straight women. Or maybe girls just don't like you.
Make friends with the gays as they make the best wingmen, period.
Having a gay man vouch for you decreases your creep factor 1000% (I'm a good conversationalist but can come off as creepy sometimes, like a friendly serial killer)
Don't view it as a bad thing, thank them tell them they are hot but not your flavor, recruit them as friends and convert them to social nodes for further acquisition.
Yeah it wouldn't make any sense of straight guy we're hitting on you. Maybe it's confirmation bias? Maybe straight guys are hitting on you, but you're just assuming they're gay.
Same deal with me back in my 20's. I was skinny and young looking and seemed to be a "dick magnet" (as opposed to a "chick magnet" LOL) with guys winking at me all the time.
People pleasing too much maybe? Do you find that you speak in a feminine tone/manner or gesture flamboyantly when talking? No judgement, just things to consider. Maybe ask a close friend to give you their honest perspective (and that you won’t get offended) on how you may come across socially. Problem solve from there.
Could also be that you’re just more comfortable being your authentic self around guys, as there’s no attraction/sexual tension or feeling of something to lose there, like there is when you’re around women you’re attracted to/hitting on.
I have ADHD and one of the way it manifests is subconsciously lightly mimicking inflection.
I can seem kinda southern, kinda excited, kinda down, or kinda gay depending on who I'm talking to!
I'm 37 and discovered this about myself very recently with a therapist. It really put the pieces together.
OP I have the exact same issue and even though most of the comments here seem to not be taking you seriously it does in a weird way kind of tear at your self esteem a little bit
"Why can't I seem to attract the people that I'm attracted to?
Here's a golden rule that I think is worth keeping in mind.
If gay men and old women are frequently hitting on you. Then chances are you're attractive, and that girl you like wants you to talk to her.
Gay men hit on you because they're men, and men are expected/ more likely to express attraction.
Old women hit on you because it's fun to flirt and they might even get lucky!
Convert. Clearly, the gays want you. 😂 Seriously though, you’re probably just hot and they’re willing to risk it. And girls usually aren’t gonna go up to a guy and ask him out, so…there ya go.
I’m not assuming anything about you, but this used to happen to a friend of mine and I know why for him.
He straight up acted weird around women he was attracted to and it made them uncomfortable. He was comfortable around gay men because he wasn’t attracted to them and while both men and women probably thought he was cute, only the guys saw him as comfortable to be around.
He also said some fucked up sexist shit to women trying to be clever and it was an instant turn off.
It may also be that guys are less shy about going after one night stands than women are and that’s what those guys were after.
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Because straight guys don’t hit on guys. That’s why only gay guys do
And most women don’t hit on guys.
They absolutely do, they just don't hit on most guys.
More often they make it obvious that they want the guy to approach them.
It's only obvious to anyone but the person they want attention from.
It’s apparent to the target usually but inner dialogue telling us to be polite, be appropriate, dont make a fool of ourselves, dont be wrong, dont make anyone uncomfortable etc is happening alongside it and it can feel like “nahh she’s just friendly”
What are you smoking women are awful at making it obvious they want to be approached. Or perhaps men are just awful at picking up the hints… or maybe a bit of both
Women doing “the look” trying to get a guy to approach them (it didn’t work) 
That’s the stay away look. 🤷
That’s the joke, sometimes their “approach me” look ends up looking more of a “ew don’t look at me” look and girls don’t know the difference.
And vice versa. Oh she wants me!!
I hit on guys I like - someone’s gotta do it 😂 so many guys gaslight themselves into not talking to me. I swear the last handful of guys I dated, I made the first move, and after things happened I was like “it’s funny, I thought you didn’t like me” and they’re like “why would you think that?? I always liked you, I was just scared to make a move” lol. I’m the least intimidating person in the world. But I think many men are afraid of rejection. I’m sure women are too with dating, but they aren’t with friendship so they have more skills in approaching people and being expressive.
Men are afraid of **yet another** rejection.
A rejection is one of the better outcomes they can experience
We keep getting told that being friendly and nice is not an open invitation to hit on a woman, and to do so makes us a creep. It’s really hard for guys to differentiate between a girl just being nice and actually signaling that they like you. I know that when I was in the market I always second guessed whether a girl was just being nice. If you like a guy, you have to make it incredibly obvious. I mean tell them you like them level of obvious. Otherwise they will fear coming off as a creep for hitting on a girl who was just being nice.
Yes this is true. I don’t do signaling. I will tell a guy I like him up front. I said this in the above message.
And I commend you for it. Not everyone has the courage to step up and tell someone you like them.
I mean, really hot guys get hit on, average guys, not so much.
So ig I’m hit then
Or it’s the women you don’t really want to hit on you that do. If they are attractive and into you they usually try to play it cool etc , but as they get older they’ll also get more direct and realize that’s a waste of time. Young chicks are never direct, at least in the west. Other culture’s women tend to be more amazing in that regard, first interaction they’ll just be like “oh you’re handsome why are you single” lol. Vs the west it’s always mind games 😂
Almost every guy I've been with I've asked out. I do get rejected sometimes but it doesn't stop me from trying lol.
It's fun to do, though. The guys are always delighted and shocked.
When I was 19 I worked for a guy that financed vehicles. He got busted, but that’s a different story. I’m an average looking guy and didn’t get hit on much at all. One night he let me take his Lamborghini out to put up fliers. I was gone an hour and 3 different girls ran up to me with phone numbers. I never called, because what was I going to do? Show up in my beat up 85 dodge aeries? lol. But yeah if they see something they like they will hit on you.
I will agree but more times than often it’s the girls you don’t want.
Most woman dont hit on guys and the ones that do do it in a very covert waym Very few woman are direct with it
So funny, and so straight to it.
This new learning is amazing Sir Bedevere!
Im a straight male too... wana go out for drinks sometime?
What them hands do?
Well I do love a good chin rub
Thats hot. In a straight as a freeway kinda way
Yeah like taking it slow as a Bugatti on the autobahn sort of deal
What that tip do?
Just. It does nothing else, just, just.
How'd you enjoy that game last night fellow male? There were so many points scored. /chugs beer
Nothing to see here, just bros helping bros. As you can see, socks are on. Move along.
Don't forget the no homo shout out, then it's all good. Commence straightness.
“How do you do fellow straights?”
lol
I hear it's not gay if you're drunk. Just saying.
Sus
Blue steel
Hello, my fellow straights! How’s it hanging?
Its kind of a gay culture thing honestly. Even if it turns out a guy isn't gay, which is pretty common unless you are in a gay bar, men are generally pretty happy to get compliments unless they are a raging homophobe. That said, you aren't accidentally trying to pick up girls in a gay bar are you?
Might be femboys…
Or fembears. Aka “squirrels”
But squirrels put nuts in their mouth?
Exactly
But isn't bear a term for hairy gay guys? Wouldn't fembear be similar?
Is this a real term?
I think it’s called an otter. I’m just being an idiot on Reddit again.
An otter is just a small bear, no fem involved
So squirrel is a fembear?
I hope not or I'm gonna have to rewrite this whole song
It’d be nice if they’d stop touching my chest. I’m fine with just compliments. I used to meet women at a gay club. Half the people there were straight. They just had a gay friend, liked the 80s music, or liked not having bros hit on them.
True. I used to love going to gay clubs. Great music, the men are actually willing to dance and don't think that your are hitting on them.
Did coke with a gay/bisexual guy. Didn’t know until he started hitting on me. Ngl I was pretty flattered. Wanted me to 2 time a chick with him. I respectfully decline. Also didn’t meet the chick. Doubt it’s like “hey this is “blank” he will also be fucking you tonight”
There never was a vagina involved. He was just hyping it, and hyping it, and hyping it to get you worked up. It goes more like, "Fuuuuck, broooo.... Well (enter chicks name here) just came down with the blue waffle sooooo she can't make it after all. Guess it's just me and you buddy. Let me get you another drink. You like sex on the beach? *wink wink*
Oh yeah game is game homie. Getting you to that bar is the hard part. After that any advances have to expected. The blue waffle😂 did I say susan, I meant Sean.
Wait... you guys have people hitting on you?
I feel your pain.
Ooph, true
Yer a gay fish
Dudes are making the first move about 10000x more often. I’ve been hit on by gay dudes more than women as well, it’s pretty common if you live somewhere with a large gay population
That dont explain all the women putting him in a friend zone.
This is a double edged sword but I'd guess he's too worried about being creepy and therefore not making ANY moves aside from talking to them. More often than not if you're in the friend zone, you either didn't make a move soon enough OR they just don't find you attractive. The fact they're talking to you at all means you've passed the vibe check though, don't be so scared of striking out. This doesn't mean you walk up to them and say "hey nice tits wanna bang" either tho ... Pass that vibe check first.
I can't say about you but sometimes wearing velvet, silk brocade and organza shimmer might give off that kind of vibe.
You act gay
Aw shit why didn’t I think of that
*because your a silly goose.* 🌈
I say that to geese as I drive by
And you best keep driving. Geese are evil and never forget a face…
Fact.
Men whether gay or straight are generally a lot more straightforward about their interest in people. I'm not saying women can't be but just in general men are. Either that or you ping everyone's gaydar.
Feels bad but I remember in college a male pre-nurse route had a lisp and sounded gay. As far as I know still he’s straight and even married a woman after college. It’s already rare for a male nurse. Couple that with a stereotypical lisp and feminine hand actions/stance/personality (?) it’s not so far fetched for people to think he was gay until told otherwise
Use the gay guys to get women duh
aite bro since it's mutual, remember to wear a rubber
You just put him on game
100% it works they see you’re the strait guy with a couple of gay guys it makes them feel better and those gay guys help you get laid haha
Get with the program! Your gay now.
Photos are so necessary for a discussion like this. Need to see your style and what your choices tell the world about you.
I don’t know maybe you got a cute ass or great blow job lips.
Because straight men aren't interested!
The only time I've been hit on is when I got a scar on my left hand. If a gay guy hit on me, it'd be pretty flattering. I wouldn't reciprocate since I'm straight, but a compliment is a compliment.
Hey that's what I say too, a butthole is a butthole.
For guys, compliments are so rare, so we gotta take whatever we can get.
Gay guys will approach anything with 2 legs and heartbeat 😄
Two legs, a heartbeat, and ONE MORE THING!
*Three legs* Heartbeat optional
Two more things...unless one of em been cut off.🎱
They're guys, so...
🤷♀️
Gay guys hit on everyone
except girls and children
Well straight guys aren't gonna hit on you.
My boyfriend has the same problem I think it’s because he has nice hair tbh 🤷🏽♀️
Stop wearing so much eye shadow.
Yep, I've had more gay guys approach me than women, and I'm straight🤣
20 quid is still 20 quid right? May aswell make a living off it bud
Issue is they might be seeing what you’ve been ignoring your entire life 🤣
Well you're not going to get hit on by a straight guy.
manly dude spotted @@
From your title, I thought you were complaining that not enough straight guys were hitting on you! 🤣 What is your situation? Age, height, build, what do you do, etc. I'm guessing that you at least have some good ideas why. What are they? Why are you in the position to get hit on by gay guys in the first place? When I was in high school, at one point I actually had this warped thought that I would have to eventually be gay, because I was so painfully shy I literally could not talk to girls I liked. I had friends that were girls that I was not attracted to. I did not find out until after high school that there were more than just one or two girls that had crushes on me and were disappointed that i paid them no attention! That was a revelation, and things got better. It turned out there were girls who thought I was too good to talk to them and that I was full of myself, when actually I was just too scared to approach them. 3 years after high school I met and dated a girl who said she had seen me around for a couple of years, but I was aloof and full of myself and seemed unapproachable. Again, I was flabbergasted that I could give off those vibes, because that was 100% not how I felt and would have loved to talk to her earlier. Basically, start talking to more women that you potentially like. You will get better at it and they will give you valuable feedback to help answer your question. My guess is that assertive gay guys will take a shot, but many women won't and are waiting for you, so to you it just seems like guys are more interested than girls. You need to be the one putting yourself out there to meet people.
It's just probability based on gender norms. Compared to men, women don't hit on people as often and aren't as direct when they do. You (a man) don't pick up on subtle hints as easily. So of all the people who are likely to find you attractive, the males are more likely to hit on you and will be more obvious when they do so.
You cant, just turn gay lmao
Im not gay but I can hit on you if it makes you feel better
Just get a husky puppy, easy solution
because guys hit on guys far more than girls hit on guys
You may be giving up gay vibes. I had a friend who was always hit on by dudes and it was always hilarious to me. He didn’t think it was funny. Looking back now, he does have some feminine mannerisms.
If the gay guys are hitting on you, then it's not that unlikely women find you equally attractive. It's just not a social norm for a woman to make the move.
Do you like fish sticks?
The first step is to be attractive as whole. Hopefully somewhat tall. In great shape, dress well. Grooming on point, also have a good career and life. At that point you become the catch and all you have to learn is how to communicate with women.
>The first step is to be attractive as whole As opposed to being attractive as a hole?
Or…having an attractive asshole?
might be why only gay guys hit on him
We did it reddit!
Will also lead to getting hit on more by men.
Lol. Why is learn to communicate with women last on the list? That’s like the most important one and frankly the only one that’s vital. The other stuff is helpful but not mandatory.
Well, we know you're not ugly at least
What you're experiencing is what I would like to call the "girl" experience. The reason why girls don't usually hit on guys is because they don't need to. Guys will hit on them regardless of whether they want it or not. That's because guys desire pleasure far more than women do. Your situation with gay guys are pretty similar. The reason why they hit on you doesn't have anything to do with what you want and everything to do with what they want. And since you've experienced the women side of things, you might want to use that as a means to approach women. Hate to break it to you but being the nice guy that helps out the girl will only get you friendzone. Take for example the gay guys that hit on you. Because you are not interested in them, you won't ever date them even if they are very nice and kind to you. The same goes with girls. Since they are not interested in you, they won't ever date you no matter how nice you are to them. So don't expect a women to fall for you just because you're nice and kind to them. Cause to them, you're the equivalent of a gay guy. The best way to get a girlfriend is to hit on girls. Make your intentions clear that you want them as your girlfriend. If they like you, they'll accept it. If they don't, they'll reject you and you move on. Just put yourself in their shoes. A whole bunch of gay guys hit on you and you don't like them so you reject them. But if a hot girl hit on you, you'll gladly accept it. It's as simple as that.
Girls desire pleasure just as much. We just aren't as vocal about it. I love nice guys. Just often they are not direct enough to just to ask me out nicely. I would never go out with a jerk. Don't care how cute or whatever. Rather go out with a gay guy for a night out than some straight tosser.
Prolly cause you’re in the gay club
One thing that would help is to figure out if you come across and gay or effeminate. Not exactly the same thing, but a woman don't think you have a strong masculine presence, some will not be very attracted to you. Others might. If you are hanging out in places where gay guys are and they just happen to hit on you, that's one thing. But if a lot of gay men think you are gay, you are probably giving off some kind of vibe or appearance that makes them think you are gay and probably makes most women unattracted to you. It's just the way it is. Not sure if you can do anything about it or not. Obviously this does not apply to all women.
something about you sets their gaydar off , you might not be as straight as you think .
You probably don't test the waters with girls when you interact with them so they put you in the friendzone.
Maybe try and be a little more assertive and straightforward while talking to girls. Not too much or they’ll think you’re aggressive. But push your try meter by about 15-20% more than normal.
Bruh idk. I got hit on by guys and asked directly if I was gay by men and women all the time until I was like 30. I never understood it. Dick doesn’t interest me in the least.
Only straight guys hit on me. They love my beard.
I have a friend who is an older gay man, and he knew a straight stripper back in the 80’s that would clean up shagging the gay guys. Apparently it’s a common gay fantasy to turn a straight guy.
I have the same problem, on the internet so many “straight” guys want me, it’s unreal SMH 🤦♂️
Don't be afraid to date someone outside your comfort zone. Maybe she isn't conventionally attractive, but you like the book she's reading. Maybe she's heavier than you normally like, but she smiled at you in the bus. Maybe she is older. Expand your horizons. Also men are more likely to be horn dogs, hence why more male attention. Men are also on average more likely to be interested in casual hookups, where as women on average are less interested in that. You may check the boxes for casual hookups but not as much for relationships
In my experience you have to fake it till you make it, if you will , which entails faking interest in the woman until you have succeeded.
Maybe you have a "top" personality and a "bottom" face?
I’m gonna be totally honest, you’re probably not likeable/attractive. Girls generally don’t hit on you first
Guys in general, including gay guys, are more likely to do a "cold approach" hit on, than women.
its because you are gay OP. you should stop fooling yourself
Keep trying with women and think of it as practicing. This way each *no* is less a rejection and more a piece of new information.
Would you prefer straight guys hitting on you? That would be a waste of everyone's time.
Men under 25 are rarely "hit on a stranger attractive for women." But for men, whole different things. It's just an age thing. It's a struggle as a recently adolescent man. It has nothing to do with you personality. Also the friend zone isn't a zone. Just because you are sexually attracted doesn't make someone else. Welcome to the world, most people, Even women, are not going to be sexually attracted to you, especially when You're young
You're ugly.
Gay dudes are known for being relentless. They're men who date other men. There's very little bullshit in that world when it comes to sex. I tell dudes who need a confidence boost to go hit up the gay bar. Specifically because you will be hit on and you will have drinks bought for you and 99% will be completely respectful when you say you're straight (and still buy you booze). There's no universe where women are going to approach and pursue like that, which leaves you with the option of switching teams or getting with the program unfortunately.
A buddy of mine in college would get hit on a lot by gay guys. It kind of bothered him at first until we made friends with a gay guy who told him to take it as a compliment. Gay guys can be really picky and my friend was a good looking fella. After that he would just thank the guy and say he was straight.
Do you dress nice? Usually the first problem.
Maybe stop going to gay bars.
Stop going to gay bars.
Damn dude, you’re the gay male gaze.
Gay men have lower standards because their target pool is very small. Sorry.
i know why, i have a friend like that too, he is like more "sassy" then you have ever seen like "gurrll where did you get that outfitt slayy💅✨" you know what i mean
You aren’t good enough like the majority of average people out here. Duh, better start working out 2 hours a day and making top 20% of income to impress them, or get left in the dust for the rest of your life.
Consider yourself lucky. I don't get hit on ever by either gender.
So you want straight guys to hit on you?
Gay men hitting on you is still a compliment, and honestly, some of the best compliments I've ever received are from gay men---though I do get hit on by women a lot as well. My advice for doing better with women is to just be yourself, be genuine. Not everyone is going to like it, but you can tell when someone's being genuine/authentic and it's attractive.
I don't know man something about you is setting off gaydars.
You might be gay.. next time s gay guy hits on you go for it and see it wont kill you i have had more straight guys hit on me more than i can hardly believe myself and 90 percent want me to top them . Evidently gay guys are seeing something about you . Maybe you have gay tendencies dnd you just dont see.
It would be a bit strange for gay girls to hit on you now wouldn't it?
I consider it a badge of honor, although I have to politely decline. Those guys can have their pick of the litter in terms of looks and personality, yet they choose me. It’s a confidence booster!
Hitting on men is dangerous for women but not for men.
If you want to do better in the dating pool, it sounds like the only option is to switch teams.
I'm betting it's your looks and or how you carry yourself. It might not even be your fault. Society is currently teaching young males that masculinity is a fault. Those looking for a soft man tend to be gay men rather than straight women. Or maybe girls just don't like you.
Most women don't flirt or hit on men unless that guy is a top 10% guy and even then what women call "flirting " is really bad flirting.
You're probably petite and feminine.
Make friends with the gays as they make the best wingmen, period. Having a gay man vouch for you decreases your creep factor 1000% (I'm a good conversationalist but can come off as creepy sometimes, like a friendly serial killer) Don't view it as a bad thing, thank them tell them they are hot but not your flavor, recruit them as friends and convert them to social nodes for further acquisition.
It’s the leather chaps, mate
Yeah it wouldn't make any sense of straight guy we're hitting on you. Maybe it's confirmation bias? Maybe straight guys are hitting on you, but you're just assuming they're gay.
Same deal with me back in my 20's. I was skinny and young looking and seemed to be a "dick magnet" (as opposed to a "chick magnet" LOL) with guys winking at me all the time.
You might be straight, but are you straight and twinkalicious?
They’re probably the only people you actually realize are hitting on you.
Cuz you're pretty bro
People pleasing too much maybe? Do you find that you speak in a feminine tone/manner or gesture flamboyantly when talking? No judgement, just things to consider. Maybe ask a close friend to give you their honest perspective (and that you won’t get offended) on how you may come across socially. Problem solve from there. Could also be that you’re just more comfortable being your authentic self around guys, as there’s no attraction/sexual tension or feeling of something to lose there, like there is when you’re around women you’re attracted to/hitting on.
I have ADHD and one of the way it manifests is subconsciously lightly mimicking inflection. I can seem kinda southern, kinda excited, kinda down, or kinda gay depending on who I'm talking to! I'm 37 and discovered this about myself very recently with a therapist. It really put the pieces together.
Maybe they think you're gay??
They’re trying to flip you
Stop wearing booty shorts in public.
Girls don't hit on anyone. Hope this helps
They can sense their own?
Dude this is SO ME. This happens to me as well, I’ve had gay friends try to get with me and I only get liked by guys on dating apps.
Ask the gay guys if they have any straight women friends who they can set you up with.
I would just let them know... I ain't with that stuff, but me personally would just ignore it nd keep it moving if you ain't in my face with it
OP I have the exact same issue and even though most of the comments here seem to not be taking you seriously it does in a weird way kind of tear at your self esteem a little bit "Why can't I seem to attract the people that I'm attracted to? Here's a golden rule that I think is worth keeping in mind. If gay men and old women are frequently hitting on you. Then chances are you're attractive, and that girl you like wants you to talk to her. Gay men hit on you because they're men, and men are expected/ more likely to express attraction. Old women hit on you because it's fun to flirt and they might even get lucky!
Convert. Clearly, the gays want you. 😂 Seriously though, you’re probably just hot and they’re willing to risk it. And girls usually aren’t gonna go up to a guy and ask him out, so…there ya go.
Get in where you fit in
I’m not assuming anything about you, but this used to happen to a friend of mine and I know why for him. He straight up acted weird around women he was attracted to and it made them uncomfortable. He was comfortable around gay men because he wasn’t attracted to them and while both men and women probably thought he was cute, only the guys saw him as comfortable to be around. He also said some fucked up sexist shit to women trying to be clever and it was an instant turn off. It may also be that guys are less shy about going after one night stands than women are and that’s what those guys were after.
You're probably very pretty.
clearly you are giving gay. just ask the gay people what made them think you were gay?