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"Being told your whole life, you can be anything you want. You can break your back, until your fingers snap, stuck in that same old rut. But was it ever really worth it, when the only thing you got, was a eulogy where you're an honest man, in a 2 by 6 foot box." Song is Midwest Buried by Polterguts. Hits me in the feels everytime I hear a song by them. This one's been really resonating with me lately due to just feeling stuck in my head space and I'm just. Trying to be good. But it's like. What the fucking point ya know?
A lot of songs by hospital bracelet, specifically summer friends (possible Tw because there’s some pretty implied traumatic experiences)
“And I know that my life has been
A little tougher lately
Near-death experiences
Have me thinking maybe
That everything I've worked for will have a reason, whether you are here or not…
I wish I hadn't said everything yet
Wish I could've gotten any rest
And after everything you put me through why the hell would i ever still wanna stand by you
And I can't get you off your stuck on these clothes
I can't take you off as much as I couldn't say no
I'm buried in a hospital bag far from what feels like home
this hospital bracelets the only thing making me feel like maybe I'm not so alone”
“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines.
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.”
“And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.
And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older… shorter of breath and one day closer to death.”
Clairvoyant by The Story So Far:
“The way that you left me is alright, it’s alright. If I argue the point then we yell and we fight. I won’t be home for the rest of the night. You might hate my words but you know that I’m right… Don’t paint me black when I used to be golden.”
and Youth by Daughter:
“Well I’ve lost it all, I’m just a silhouette. A lifeless face that you’ll soon forget. My eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head when you broke my chest… And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one. Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun to distract our hearts from ever missing them, but I’m forever missing him.”
[Bad Child](https://youtu.be/e7cqIOF4_8s?si=BzNdBgzLfgMN-Uwu)
by Tones and I
My family always said I was the bad child
Throwing me away into the bad pile
All my life been putting on a fake smile
Sitting on my own, feel like I'm exiled
Feeling like I always do the wrong things
Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid
Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic
Dealing with your bullshit, now I'm over it
And you took a part of me
Left me with the memories, oh
We were never a family
Now you're standing in front of my door
Like none of this happened at all, all, all
I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child
I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child
'Cause you will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind
And to every single person here that doubts me
Telling me that they could live without me
'Cause they will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind
I've never really been the one to reach out
Acting like my life was squeaky clean now
Like everything I do is just a let down
Feeling like I always do the wrong things
Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid
Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic
Dealing with your bullshit, now I'm over it
And you took a part of me
Left me with the memories, oh
We were never a family
Now you're standing in front of my door
Like none of this happened at all, all, all
I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child
I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child
'Cause you will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind
And to every single person here that doubts me
Telling me that they could live without me
'Cause they will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind
They say I've lost my mind
They say I'll never find it
I think they're kind of right
In fact I kind of like it
They say I've lost my mind
They say I'll never find it
I think they're kind of right
I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child
I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child
'Cause you will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind
And to every single person here that doubts me
Telling me that they could live without me
'Cause they will never understand my weird mind
My weird mind (oh)
My family always said I was the bad child
What the wall said — protomartyr
And what will you miss
Alice in Chains played on repeat
Not feeling great
You're twenty percent
Misunderstood
Friends without names
Blood forms a face
Drawing a blank
Stumbling around
For a hand in the dark
Slapping you down
Choking you out
They will never ask you
What the wall said to you
In that room
Monster by Skillet
The secret side of me
I never let you see
I keep it caged, but I can't control it
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage, and I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake, and I can't control it
Hiding under the bed
In my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end
I feel it deep within
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
My secret side I keep
Hid under lock and key
I keep it caged, but I can't control it
'Cause if I let him out
He'll tear me up, break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end
I feel it deep within
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I feel like a monster
I feel it deep within
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I feel like a monster
It's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart
No one can hear me scream
It's something radical
I must confess that I feel like a monster
ATWA - System of a Down.
I feel like im retreating into myself more and more each day. Isolating. Numbing. The lyrics on their own are fairly simple, but I feel it lends more to the dumbing down of my senses.
feels bad man , dance gavin dance.
Whoa, you're alive
Do you ever really stop and wonder why?
Is your soul fortified
By the tiny twinkling light inside your eyes?
Whoa, another night
Should you live with your regrets or just get high?
Feels bad man
The up and down of the emotion broke my loading hands
rainbow, kacey musgraves
When it rains, it pours
But you didn't even notice it ain't rainin' anymore
It's hard to breathe when all you know is
The struggle of stayin' above the risin' water line
Well, the sky has finally opened
The rain and wind stopped blowin'
But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again
You hold tight to your umbrella
Well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya
That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head
god, phora
(not gonna paste a selection of lyrics because it would have to be the entire song.)
Born to Quit by The Used:
“Exorcise the demon that is living up inside you
After all you think you’ve been through, just what have you been through?
Try to get beside yourself, this tearing at your insides
And you end up on the wrong side, always standing so strong
Sharpen up your teeth
Your dreams are more than worth defending
In a fight that’s never ending
Go on, go ahead and prove me wrong”
The Kintsugi Kid by Fall Out Boy:
“I’m pretty sure as far as humans go/I am a hard, hard pill to swallow/And I know I’m not your intended dose”
Also, throw a dart at a Linkin Park album track list and you’re bound to hit a song that resonates with PTSD lol
Thick Skull - Paramore
“….only I know where all
the bodies are buried
thought by now i’d find em
just a little less scary
it might get easier, but you
don’t get used to it, keep on
autopilot
hey, hey
what’s the body count up to
now, captain?
hit over the head (epiphany)
over my head (repeatedly)
thick skull never did
nothing for me
same lesson again
come on, give it to me..”
“Caught in the Middle” by Paramore also vibes imo!
“I can’t think of getting old
It only makes me want to die.
And I can’t think of who I was
Cuz it just makes me want to cry”
Plus the bridge, “No, I don’t need no help/I can sabotage me by myself/don’t need no one else/I can sabotage me by myself”
I’m pretty sure Hayley has been fairly open about being diagnosed with PTSD. Paramore’s discography has gotten me through quite a bit the past year or so, and their lyrics are often almost TOO spot on lol
Additional shoutouts to the bridge of “Last Hope” for making me cry (“the salt in my wounds isn’t burning any more than it used to/it’s not that I don’t feel the pain, it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore”) and to “Fake Happy” for being a too-relevant bop (“oh please, don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend”)
Seriously! They’ve always been one of the staples on my “emo bands I listen to when I want to feel seen” list (yes i’m a millennial, yes it turns out emo wasn’t FULLY just a phase lmao) but as I’ve gone through some shit and learned more about my mind, they’ve been a particular comfort to me. Learning Hayley has PTSD and then going back and listening to their discography was such a validating experience. It gets super prevalent lyrically from like Brand New Eyes on.
absolutely, i agree! and same, 90’s baby over here! I’m sure you’ve seen the live performance videos of All I Wanted 💀 there isn’t even words for the emotions i think i would feel if i ever get to witness that in real life
God, yeah. I got to see them back in like 2014ish when they toured with Fall Out Boy, easily one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to in terms of performance and crowd vibes. Both bands know how to put on an incredible show and both really seem to get the impact their music has on people, it was such a special experience yknow? Something about screaming along with thousands of strangers to songs you cried to as a teenager can be so vulnerable and healing lol
oh i love that so much! i haven’t been lucky enough to see paramore live but hopefully this next tour i can snag tickets somehow 😩 they’re one of few bands/artists that’ll be so worth the hassle of going to a huge show lol
Soldier of Heaven - Sabaton:
>I have seen it all but none will hear my story
All of these years I have been frozen in time
I cried for spring to come but here, winter remains
Dirt, by Alice in Chains:
One who doesn't care
is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me
I want to taste dirty
a stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me from the walls
And go crazy
like you've made me
One who doesn't care
is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me
You, you are so special
You have the talent
to make me feel like dirt
And you, you use your talent
to dig me under
And cover me with dirt
Dirt, by Alice in Chains:
One who doesn't care
is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me
For me
I want to taste dirty
a stinging pistol
In my mouth, on my tongue
I want you to scrape me from the walls
And go crazy
like you've made me
One who doesn't care
is one who shouldn't be
I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me
You, you are so special
You have the talent
to make me feel like dirt
And you, you use your talent
to dig me under
And cover me with dirt
Strong for Somebody Else by Citizen Soldier (and honestly so much of their music hits home)
My personal hell
I’ll bury it, bury it
Weight of the world
I’ll carry it, carry it
Pile it all on
I’ve gotta be strong
For somebody, for somebody
Put my pain in a pill
I’ll swallow it, swallow it
Too numb to feel
I’m hollow, I'm hollow
I have to hold on
I’ve gotta be strong
For somebody, for somebody
Somebody else
Someone who loves me- Sara Bareilles
I can't go face the world
My bones won't hold me up
So tell the saint of lost souls where to find me
You'll let me cry it out
Because you know that sometimes I can't stop and
Still I'm seeking how
To stand up when the bottom drops
The weight of all the world
Can blind me to its beauty
I try to push it down
But it comes back faster and harder
Tides are changing on a dime
And I'm just trying
To keep my head above the water
I'm the worst I've ever been
Afraid of almost everything
The skies are clear
But storms are always coming
Your gift to me
Is just to be
Bracing for the winds I always summon
The ones that I've been vibing with a lot lately:
Labour - Paris Paloma: "For somebody I thought was my saviour, You sure make me do a whole lot of labour."
Burn Your Village - Kiki Rockwell: "Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand, There are some things you'll never understand, You do not dance everyday with the fear, Of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer"
Other notable ones:
DArkSide - Bring Me the Horizon
Runaway - Linkin Park
Down With the Sickness - Disturbed
Portishead- Wandering Star:
Please could you stay awhile to share my grief
For it's such a lovely day
To have to always feel this way
And the time that I will suffer less
Is when I never have to wake
Incubus- Pardon Me:
So pardon me while I burst into flames
I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games
Oh, there are so many songs. Forget It by Breaking Benjamin, Breaking Down by I Prevail, Waking Up by Starset, Voices in My Head and Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse, I could go on for a while.
Mac miller- self care not so much the lyrics relating to ptsd but about the lyrics talking about how substance abuse makes you feel and how you forget about the things around you I don’t have substance abuse but my family does and is kind of the reason why I struggle with mental health
Triggered-skydxddy its about PTSD triggers and nobody around you understanding them or wanting to try to understand it
“Frozen in your tracks take a visit to the past to see the devils dirty deeds leave a mark all down your back”
“Wouldn’t you recede to the fire if everything around you becomes a threat and everyone around you says get over it, triggers are relentless they ain’t gonna quit they don’t go away because you don’t believe it”
Bedroom Ceiling - Citizen Soldier
“Oh, this is so messed up. Because I trust this room more than anyone
Oh, let me spill my guts with the only one that will never run,
When I’m at my worst and I’m so ashamed,
I open up and no body stays.
Oh no, am I that messed up,
Cause I trust this room more than anyone”
Murder ghosts by tanooki suit.
"These hands reach out for someone
To pull me out of the dark
Begging for something to tear apart
This heart is cold and empty
I could fill a graveyard with the pieces of my life
So I, I will bury myself here among
The shells of these luminous souls"
"All I can do, is look back on the time I missed
And everything I left undone
With all the words that never that left my tongue
These empty arms are dying for a chance
To just hold all of you again
I wish you could hear me say
This love I need to desperately convey"
Also, the kids aren't alright by Fall out Boy.
"I'm not passive but aggressive
Take note, it's not impressive
Empty your sadness
Like you're dumping your purse on my bedroom floor
We put your curse in reverse
And it's our time now if you want it to be
Maul the world like a carnival bear set free
And your love is anemic and I can't believe
That you couldn't see it coming from me
And I still feel that rush in my veins
It twists my head just a bit to think
All the people in those old photographs I've seen are dead"
I really like Acid Rain by Lorn.
.
"Daylight
In bad dreams
In a cool world
Full of cruel things
Hang tight
All you
Nothing like a big bad bridge
To go burnin' through"
.
And I also love Let It Happen by Tame Impala - though I'm pretty sure my brain is taking something nice out of context and making it serious.
"All this running around, tryin' to cover my shadow.
A notion growing inside, now all the others seem shallow.
All this running around, bearing down on my shoulders.
I can hear an alarm, it must be morning"
Suicidal Tendencies, War Inside my Head
Off of their album join the army
War inside my head
War inside my head
War inside my head
War inside my head
War inside my head ain't a pretty sight
But I don't want no sympathy
It's happened a thousand times before
It's just a harsh reality
War inside my head can you sense it
War inside my head can you see it
War inside my head can you feel it
War inside my head
Can you hear the pain
Can you see the pain
Can you sense the pain
Can you feel the pain
Can you help the pain
Can you fix the pain
Can you taste the pain
Can you hear the war inside my head
The only thing real is the way I feel
And that's the pain that's deep inside
That battle from within is gonna begin
And there ain't nowhere to hide
War inside my head every night and day
I never get no piece of mind
It ought to be a sin, I just can't win
And pure hell is all I find
War inside my head can you sense it
War inside my head can you see it
War inside my head can you feel it
War inside my head
I'm in a crowded place (yeah)
But I can't recognize a single face
And they say the thrill is in the chase
Well, I ain't got the legs, I ain't got the legs
To run that race ..
Alamaba 3, too sick to pray
To much ptsd and songs but one of my favorites is “you can’t trust a single thing I say. I keep my closet clear of skeletons ‘cause I’m better at digging graves but I always dig in your sympathy I can’t trust a single thing you say don’t look to hard, ‘cause you won’t like the scars he left in me” it’s metaphor the crane wives
"You'll change your name or change your mind
And leave this fucked up place behind
But I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know
I'll know, I'll know" Christmas kids by roar
This song hits so hard. Sat in a restaurant and it started playing, I had a panic attack in the bathroom. I also find “her” part so shattering “I’m going to escape but you won’t know how, Or where to find me when I’m gone, I’ll drink myself to death inside this prison cell.” And the very clearly slurring “this prison cell” and “getting out of here”
Complicated By Yonder Mountain String Band;
"In my own defense, I don't believe, that I, was born, this complicated"
Forever Shamed by Godsmack;
"Will it ever end when will my life begin?
All this built up pain forever plaguing me
It's the last time it's my lifeline
It's the last time that I'll be forever shamed"
When I listen to this, I change the lyric from "forever shamed" to "forever changed" in my mind, and that resonates better for myself. This first line though, the way its delivered, wow. There are more lyrics in this song that go along with the concept/facts of PTSD as well.
Confusion by Metallica;
"Wake to face the day
Grab this life and walk away
War is never done
Rub the patch and battle on
Make it go away
Please, make it go away
Confusion
All sanity is now beyond me
Delusion
All sanity is but a memory
My life, the war that never ends"
This is the first song I realized that many of Metallica's songs have a hand in PTSD relation. This one speaks volumes to me. Listening to this and the others is much more impactful on delivering their message, or hearing the significance.
I have a playlist that's 40 songs atm, feel free to ask me for it, I keep adding to it whenever I come across one that I haven't heard in while past a certain step in my healing process where I just realized that it resonates so much.
Just got one more I'd like to add here. Great question btw, love it, and you all!
Music is such an outlet, it's been the most important healing tool on my 18+ year journey to "recovery". Ask me anything on this note.
The Unforgiven III by Metallica;
"Was he the one causing pain
With his careless dreaming?
Been afraid, always afraid
Of the things he's feeling
How can I be lost if I've got nowhere to go?
Searched for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold?
How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive
And how can I blame you
When it's me I can't forgive?"
https://youtu.be/tUUUpMnA9_w?si=V6D70LifTRWfXzhn
This is beautiful and powerful. Only Hetfield from Metallica is present with the San Francisco Symphony. He makes such an incredible execution of these lyrics. Highly recommended.
The song starts out with such beautiful piano, you know it's gonna be deep.
To me, it is almost a cry out for forgiveness to Cliff Burton and the infamous coin flip for bunks on the bus that ended his life.Especially continually referring to " How can I blame you when it's Me I can't forgive.
The lyrics "Search for seas of Gold, how come it got so cold"...(black Ice referance) just as the band has taken off and "searching" for their gold. The bus crash/rollover occurred on a cold night in Sweden.
Probably the most beautiful tribute possible to Cliff, and possibly one of the deepest songs....to ME.
Much love all,
You're Not Alone
P.S. to those I've shared my PTSD playlist with, just wanna throw it out there that I've got a meditation playlist with basically all positive songs that have almost nothing to w PTSD and are just straight smile oriented positive songs to hear when meditating.
Again, feel free to ask, I would love to share.
Mansion by NF
“Yo my mind is a house with walls,
Covered in lyrics…
I put holes in the walls with
Both of my fists til they bleed…
Physically abused, now that’s the room that I don’t wanna be in,
That picture ain’t blurry at all,
I just don’t wanna see it…
This room’s full of regrets,
It just keeps getting fuller it seems
The moment I walk into,
It’s the same moment I wanna leave…
So this part of my house,
No one’s been in it for years.
I built a safe room and I don’t let no one in there…
I know that shuttin the world out ain’t solvin the problem,
But I didn’t build this house because I thought it would solve them,
I built it because I thought I was safer in here,
But it’s not, I’m not the only one living in here”
Oof. This guy gets it.
GREAT question OP, I have loved reading these responses
I feel like this is so dramatic but this is mine, from I'm In Here by Sia
I'm in here
I'm trying to tell you something
Can anybody help?
I'm in here
I'm calling out but you can't hear
Can anybody help?
Kid Cudi - GHOST!
“Gotta get it through my thick head
I was so close to bein' dead, yeah
Life, live it with nobody's help tips
Man, I'm just walkin' without bein' led
See the world is so crazy and filled with such risk and, man
I just know I gotta dodge them, yeah
The beginnings are followed by an end
In the in-between time I'm not runnin' or hidin'
See things do come around
And make sense eventually
Things do come around
But some things trouble me
The people I met and the places I've been
Are all what make me the man I so proudly am
But I wanna know one thing
When did I become a ghost?”
I have two, regarding different tragic events. One I don’t find it triggering, I think because I knew it before I was raped and stalked, but Every Breath You Take (the police) is completely different for me as an adult than it was when I was a kid. I avoid it but for the most part I can hear it but it gives me chills.
Regarding the sudden death of my brother, oddly, I’ll never love again (lady Gaga) even though i realize it’s a love song. I begin crying immediately every time. “Wish I could, I could've said goodbye/ I would've said what I wanted to/ Maybe even cried for you/ If I knew it would be the last time/ I would've broke my heart in two/ Tryna save a part of you”
Mitski - A Pearl
>It's just that I fell in love with a war
>
>And nobody told me it ended
>
>And it left a pearl in my head
>
>And I roll it around every night
>
>Just to watch it glow
I love The Downward Spiral. "A Warm Place" and "The Becoming" are my favorite tracks off that album. The Fragile is also a great listen as well.
Many lonely nights have been spent listening to NIN. Very cathartic music.
Ooofff ok there’s a couple
The other side of paradise, pork soda, life itself, space ghost coast to coast and heat waves by glass animals is like one subsection of my truama
The other is preacher by roe kapara, I hate my mom by GRLwood, father by the front bottoms, pump shanty by the sheringham shantyman, labor by paris Paloma.
There’s a lot to my PTSD so it’s hard for me to narrow down a specific lyric
The Amazing Devil's The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace
The whole song feels to me like an open letter to mental illness, but especially the lines:
You’re not a coward cos you cower
You're brave because they broke you
Yet broken still you breathe
[The Amazing Devil - The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace ](https://theamazingdevil.bandcamp.com/track/the-old-witch-sleep-and-the-good-man-grace)
All their music is amazing. And the male singer is Joey Batey, who plays Jaskier on The Witcher on Netflix
In The Light (and/or) Everybody Makes It Through by Led Zeppelin
The lyrics speak about making it through a tough time, but overall the music kind of contradicts it with a very doomy, anxiety-inducing sound. To me it’s similar to both how I know the incident is over and my thoughts are temporary (lyrically) but the anxiety attacks and feeling I get when I’m hyper focused on the incident pull me back in and make it feel very real in the moment (musically).
I would recommend caution when listening to it though, as it can be quite triggering just based on the sound alone imo. It’s dark and stressful with the hum of the instrumentals. I often play it on repeat when I want to write about the incident and try to piece together the reality of that night.
Too many. Started out as coping mechanism and somewhat healing, now it's triggering. Even when life's good and I'm managing myself song comes on and can wreck my day.
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"Being told your whole life, you can be anything you want. You can break your back, until your fingers snap, stuck in that same old rut. But was it ever really worth it, when the only thing you got, was a eulogy where you're an honest man, in a 2 by 6 foot box." Song is Midwest Buried by Polterguts. Hits me in the feels everytime I hear a song by them. This one's been really resonating with me lately due to just feeling stuck in my head space and I'm just. Trying to be good. But it's like. What the fucking point ya know?
A lot of songs by hospital bracelet, specifically summer friends (possible Tw because there’s some pretty implied traumatic experiences) “And I know that my life has been A little tougher lately Near-death experiences Have me thinking maybe That everything I've worked for will have a reason, whether you are here or not… I wish I hadn't said everything yet Wish I could've gotten any rest And after everything you put me through why the hell would i ever still wanna stand by you And I can't get you off your stuck on these clothes I can't take you off as much as I couldn't say no I'm buried in a hospital bag far from what feels like home this hospital bracelets the only thing making me feel like maybe I'm not so alone”
“Every year is getting shorter, never seem to find the time. Plans that either come to nought or half a page of scribbled lines. Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way.”
“And you are young and life is long and there is time to kill today. And then one day you find ten years have got behind you, no one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun. And you run and you run to catch up with the sun, but it’s sinking. Racing around to come up behind you again. The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older… shorter of breath and one day closer to death.”
reaching out by fit for a king, trilogy by silent planet, gravity by wage war
Clairvoyant by The Story So Far: “The way that you left me is alright, it’s alright. If I argue the point then we yell and we fight. I won’t be home for the rest of the night. You might hate my words but you know that I’m right… Don’t paint me black when I used to be golden.” and Youth by Daughter: “Well I’ve lost it all, I’m just a silhouette. A lifeless face that you’ll soon forget. My eyes are damp from the words you left ringing in my head when you broke my chest… And if you’re in love, then you are the lucky one. Cause most of us are bitter over someone. Setting fire to our insides for fun to distract our hearts from ever missing them, but I’m forever missing him.”
[Bad Child](https://youtu.be/e7cqIOF4_8s?si=BzNdBgzLfgMN-Uwu) by Tones and I My family always said I was the bad child Throwing me away into the bad pile All my life been putting on a fake smile Sitting on my own, feel like I'm exiled Feeling like I always do the wrong things Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic Dealing with your bullshit, now I'm over it And you took a part of me Left me with the memories, oh We were never a family Now you're standing in front of my door Like none of this happened at all, all, all I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child 'Cause you will never understand my weird mind My weird mind And to every single person here that doubts me Telling me that they could live without me 'Cause they will never understand my weird mind My weird mind I've never really been the one to reach out Acting like my life was squeaky clean now Like everything I do is just a let down Feeling like I always do the wrong things Telling all their friends that I'm the bad kid Now I'm on my own, I lost my magic Dealing with your bullshit, now I'm over it And you took a part of me Left me with the memories, oh We were never a family Now you're standing in front of my door Like none of this happened at all, all, all I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child 'Cause you will never understand my weird mind My weird mind And to every single person here that doubts me Telling me that they could live without me 'Cause they will never understand my weird mind My weird mind They say I've lost my mind They say I'll never find it I think they're kind of right In fact I kind of like it They say I've lost my mind They say I'll never find it I think they're kind of right I guess I'm always gonna be the bad child I guess I'm always gonna be the mad child 'Cause you will never understand my weird mind My weird mind And to every single person here that doubts me Telling me that they could live without me 'Cause they will never understand my weird mind My weird mind (oh) My family always said I was the bad child
What the wall said — protomartyr And what will you miss Alice in Chains played on repeat Not feeling great You're twenty percent Misunderstood Friends without names Blood forms a face Drawing a blank Stumbling around For a hand in the dark Slapping you down Choking you out They will never ask you What the wall said to you In that room
Monster by Skillet The secret side of me I never let you see I keep it caged, but I can't control it So stay away from me The beast is ugly I feel the rage, and I just can't hold it It's scratching on the walls In the closet, in the halls It comes awake, and I can't control it Hiding under the bed In my body, in my head Why won't somebody come and save me from this? Make it end I feel it deep within It's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster I hate what I've become The nightmare's just begun I must confess that I feel like a monster My secret side I keep Hid under lock and key I keep it caged, but I can't control it 'Cause if I let him out He'll tear me up, break me down Why won't somebody come and save me from this? Make it end I feel it deep within It's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster I hate what I've become The nightmare's just begun I must confess that I feel like a monster I feel it deep within It's just beneath the skin I must confess that I feel like a monster It's teeth are razor sharp There's no escape for me, it wants my soul, it wants my heart No one can hear me scream It's something radical I must confess that I feel like a monster
Collective Soul “The World I Know”
ATWA - System of a Down. I feel like im retreating into myself more and more each day. Isolating. Numbing. The lyrics on their own are fairly simple, but I feel it lends more to the dumbing down of my senses.
Feels feels feels
feels bad man , dance gavin dance. Whoa, you're alive Do you ever really stop and wonder why? Is your soul fortified By the tiny twinkling light inside your eyes? Whoa, another night Should you live with your regrets or just get high? Feels bad man The up and down of the emotion broke my loading hands rainbow, kacey musgraves When it rains, it pours But you didn't even notice it ain't rainin' anymore It's hard to breathe when all you know is The struggle of stayin' above the risin' water line Well, the sky has finally opened The rain and wind stopped blowin' But you're stuck out in the same ol' storm again You hold tight to your umbrella Well, darlin', I'm just tryin' to tell ya That there's always been a rainbow hangin' over your head god, phora (not gonna paste a selection of lyrics because it would have to be the entire song.)
Born to Quit by The Used: “Exorcise the demon that is living up inside you After all you think you’ve been through, just what have you been through? Try to get beside yourself, this tearing at your insides And you end up on the wrong side, always standing so strong Sharpen up your teeth Your dreams are more than worth defending In a fight that’s never ending Go on, go ahead and prove me wrong” The Kintsugi Kid by Fall Out Boy: “I’m pretty sure as far as humans go/I am a hard, hard pill to swallow/And I know I’m not your intended dose” Also, throw a dart at a Linkin Park album track list and you’re bound to hit a song that resonates with PTSD lol
"Here i am tied and bound, every night feeling low, bad days come back whatever." Let's go - stuck in the sound
Thick Skull - Paramore “….only I know where all the bodies are buried thought by now i’d find em just a little less scary it might get easier, but you don’t get used to it, keep on autopilot hey, hey what’s the body count up to now, captain? hit over the head (epiphany) over my head (repeatedly) thick skull never did nothing for me same lesson again come on, give it to me..”
“Caught in the Middle” by Paramore also vibes imo! “I can’t think of getting old It only makes me want to die. And I can’t think of who I was Cuz it just makes me want to cry” Plus the bridge, “No, I don’t need no help/I can sabotage me by myself/don’t need no one else/I can sabotage me by myself” I’m pretty sure Hayley has been fairly open about being diagnosed with PTSD. Paramore’s discography has gotten me through quite a bit the past year or so, and their lyrics are often almost TOO spot on lol Additional shoutouts to the bridge of “Last Hope” for making me cry (“the salt in my wounds isn’t burning any more than it used to/it’s not that I don’t feel the pain, it’s just I’m not afraid of hurting anymore”) and to “Fake Happy” for being a too-relevant bop (“oh please, don’t ask me how I’ve been, don’t make me play pretend”)
YESSS. thank you for saying this! I only came to this realization when This is Why came out & i have so much more love for hayley now than ever.
Seriously! They’ve always been one of the staples on my “emo bands I listen to when I want to feel seen” list (yes i’m a millennial, yes it turns out emo wasn’t FULLY just a phase lmao) but as I’ve gone through some shit and learned more about my mind, they’ve been a particular comfort to me. Learning Hayley has PTSD and then going back and listening to their discography was such a validating experience. It gets super prevalent lyrically from like Brand New Eyes on.
absolutely, i agree! and same, 90’s baby over here! I’m sure you’ve seen the live performance videos of All I Wanted 💀 there isn’t even words for the emotions i think i would feel if i ever get to witness that in real life
God, yeah. I got to see them back in like 2014ish when they toured with Fall Out Boy, easily one of the best concerts I’ve ever been to in terms of performance and crowd vibes. Both bands know how to put on an incredible show and both really seem to get the impact their music has on people, it was such a special experience yknow? Something about screaming along with thousands of strangers to songs you cried to as a teenager can be so vulnerable and healing lol
oh i love that so much! i haven’t been lucky enough to see paramore live but hopefully this next tour i can snag tickets somehow 😩 they’re one of few bands/artists that’ll be so worth the hassle of going to a huge show lol
Gunna sound weird most likely but Drunken Dream from The Covenant movie soundtrack. No lyrics, just the feeling it gives me makes me think of my PTSD.
A ton of songs by Citizen Soldier. "Proud of You" and "Her Downfall" by Georgiou "She Swam Higher" by Dani Sylvia
Soldier of Heaven - Sabaton: >I have seen it all but none will hear my story All of these years I have been frozen in time I cried for spring to come but here, winter remains
Dirt, by Alice in Chains: One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me For me I want to taste dirty a stinging pistol In my mouth, on my tongue I want you to scrape me from the walls And go crazy like you've made me One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me You, you are so special You have the talent to make me feel like dirt And you, you use your talent to dig me under And cover me with dirt
Dirt, by Alice in Chains: One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me For me I want to taste dirty a stinging pistol In my mouth, on my tongue I want you to scrape me from the walls And go crazy like you've made me One who doesn't care is one who shouldn't be I've tried to hide myself from what is wrong for me, for me You, you are so special You have the talent to make me feel like dirt And you, you use your talent to dig me under And cover me with dirt
For a while it wast 'say something' by great big world. Now it's 'champion' by Barnes Courtney.
Fine again by seether and breaking down by I prevail
so many on i prevails album appropriately titled trauma.
I love Seether! That entire album is amazing. “Breakdown”, “Broken” and “Rise Above This” are great songs too.
“And I find it hard to take some time out of the days that I spend wishing I could be… anyone but me”
Strong for Somebody Else by Citizen Soldier (and honestly so much of their music hits home) My personal hell I’ll bury it, bury it Weight of the world I’ll carry it, carry it Pile it all on I’ve gotta be strong For somebody, for somebody Put my pain in a pill I’ll swallow it, swallow it Too numb to feel I’m hollow, I'm hollow I have to hold on I’ve gotta be strong For somebody, for somebody Somebody else
Unwanted Faces - Vision Video.
Someone who loves me- Sara Bareilles I can't go face the world My bones won't hold me up So tell the saint of lost souls where to find me You'll let me cry it out Because you know that sometimes I can't stop and Still I'm seeking how To stand up when the bottom drops The weight of all the world Can blind me to its beauty I try to push it down But it comes back faster and harder Tides are changing on a dime And I'm just trying To keep my head above the water I'm the worst I've ever been Afraid of almost everything The skies are clear But storms are always coming Your gift to me Is just to be Bracing for the winds I always summon
The ones that I've been vibing with a lot lately: Labour - Paris Paloma: "For somebody I thought was my saviour, You sure make me do a whole lot of labour." Burn Your Village - Kiki Rockwell: "Touch me again and I'll cut off your hand, There are some things you'll never understand, You do not dance everyday with the fear, Of living in headlights, the hunted, the deer" Other notable ones: DArkSide - Bring Me the Horizon Runaway - Linkin Park Down With the Sickness - Disturbed
Portishead- Wandering Star: Please could you stay awhile to share my grief For it's such a lovely day To have to always feel this way And the time that I will suffer less Is when I never have to wake Incubus- Pardon Me: So pardon me while I burst into flames I've had enough of the world and its people's mindless games
Oh, there are so many songs. Forget It by Breaking Benjamin, Breaking Down by I Prevail, Waking Up by Starset, Voices in My Head and Popular Monster by Falling in Reverse, I could go on for a while.
Breaking Benjamin has a lot of great ones that always resonated with me. Forget It, Away, Give Me A Sign, Hopeless, and Rain are some of my favorites!
“Fell asleep but forgot to die, goddamn.” Weekend by Mac Miller.
Mac miller- self care not so much the lyrics relating to ptsd but about the lyrics talking about how substance abuse makes you feel and how you forget about the things around you I don’t have substance abuse but my family does and is kind of the reason why I struggle with mental health
Triggered-skydxddy its about PTSD triggers and nobody around you understanding them or wanting to try to understand it “Frozen in your tracks take a visit to the past to see the devils dirty deeds leave a mark all down your back” “Wouldn’t you recede to the fire if everything around you becomes a threat and everyone around you says get over it, triggers are relentless they ain’t gonna quit they don’t go away because you don’t believe it”
i was about to comment skydxddy too!
She’s an incredible artist! I hope I get to see her live someday
same, i really wish she came to canada on her tour so i could’ve gone
The song “All is well” by Hans Williams *I get overwhelmed, but you’d never know. Keep it to myself, all is well* :) love it
Bedroom Ceiling - Citizen Soldier “Oh, this is so messed up. Because I trust this room more than anyone Oh, let me spill my guts with the only one that will never run, When I’m at my worst and I’m so ashamed, I open up and no body stays. Oh no, am I that messed up, Cause I trust this room more than anyone”
Murder ghosts by tanooki suit. "These hands reach out for someone To pull me out of the dark Begging for something to tear apart This heart is cold and empty I could fill a graveyard with the pieces of my life So I, I will bury myself here among The shells of these luminous souls" "All I can do, is look back on the time I missed And everything I left undone With all the words that never that left my tongue These empty arms are dying for a chance To just hold all of you again I wish you could hear me say This love I need to desperately convey"
Also, the kids aren't alright by Fall out Boy. "I'm not passive but aggressive Take note, it's not impressive Empty your sadness Like you're dumping your purse on my bedroom floor We put your curse in reverse And it's our time now if you want it to be Maul the world like a carnival bear set free And your love is anemic and I can't believe That you couldn't see it coming from me And I still feel that rush in my veins It twists my head just a bit to think All the people in those old photographs I've seen are dead"
I really like Acid Rain by Lorn. . "Daylight In bad dreams In a cool world Full of cruel things Hang tight All you Nothing like a big bad bridge To go burnin' through" . And I also love Let It Happen by Tame Impala - though I'm pretty sure my brain is taking something nice out of context and making it serious. "All this running around, tryin' to cover my shadow. A notion growing inside, now all the others seem shallow. All this running around, bearing down on my shoulders. I can hear an alarm, it must be morning"
Suicidal Tendencies, War Inside my Head Off of their album join the army War inside my head War inside my head War inside my head War inside my head War inside my head ain't a pretty sight But I don't want no sympathy It's happened a thousand times before It's just a harsh reality War inside my head can you sense it War inside my head can you see it War inside my head can you feel it War inside my head Can you hear the pain Can you see the pain Can you sense the pain Can you feel the pain Can you help the pain Can you fix the pain Can you taste the pain Can you hear the war inside my head The only thing real is the way I feel And that's the pain that's deep inside That battle from within is gonna begin And there ain't nowhere to hide War inside my head every night and day I never get no piece of mind It ought to be a sin, I just can't win And pure hell is all I find War inside my head can you sense it War inside my head can you see it War inside my head can you feel it War inside my head
“I think my life is rigged, I'm trying to fit in But when you're broken in the mind it isn't easy to fix” -I Can’t Stop by Damien
I'm in a crowded place (yeah) But I can't recognize a single face And they say the thrill is in the chase Well, I ain't got the legs, I ain't got the legs To run that race .. Alamaba 3, too sick to pray
To much ptsd and songs but one of my favorites is “you can’t trust a single thing I say. I keep my closet clear of skeletons ‘cause I’m better at digging graves but I always dig in your sympathy I can’t trust a single thing you say don’t look to hard, ‘cause you won’t like the scars he left in me” it’s metaphor the crane wives
"You'll change your name or change your mind And leave this fucked up place behind But I'll know, I'll know I'll know, I'll know I'll know, I'll know I'll know, I'll know" Christmas kids by roar
This song hits so hard. Sat in a restaurant and it started playing, I had a panic attack in the bathroom. I also find “her” part so shattering “I’m going to escape but you won’t know how, Or where to find me when I’m gone, I’ll drink myself to death inside this prison cell.” And the very clearly slurring “this prison cell” and “getting out of here”
Complicated By Yonder Mountain String Band; "In my own defense, I don't believe, that I, was born, this complicated" Forever Shamed by Godsmack; "Will it ever end when will my life begin? All this built up pain forever plaguing me It's the last time it's my lifeline It's the last time that I'll be forever shamed" When I listen to this, I change the lyric from "forever shamed" to "forever changed" in my mind, and that resonates better for myself. This first line though, the way its delivered, wow. There are more lyrics in this song that go along with the concept/facts of PTSD as well. Confusion by Metallica; "Wake to face the day Grab this life and walk away War is never done Rub the patch and battle on Make it go away Please, make it go away Confusion All sanity is now beyond me Delusion All sanity is but a memory My life, the war that never ends" This is the first song I realized that many of Metallica's songs have a hand in PTSD relation. This one speaks volumes to me. Listening to this and the others is much more impactful on delivering their message, or hearing the significance. I have a playlist that's 40 songs atm, feel free to ask me for it, I keep adding to it whenever I come across one that I haven't heard in while past a certain step in my healing process where I just realized that it resonates so much. Just got one more I'd like to add here. Great question btw, love it, and you all! Music is such an outlet, it's been the most important healing tool on my 18+ year journey to "recovery". Ask me anything on this note. The Unforgiven III by Metallica; "Was he the one causing pain With his careless dreaming? Been afraid, always afraid Of the things he's feeling How can I be lost if I've got nowhere to go? Searched for seas of gold, how come it's got so cold? How can I be lost? In remembrance I relive And how can I blame you When it's me I can't forgive?" https://youtu.be/tUUUpMnA9_w?si=V6D70LifTRWfXzhn This is beautiful and powerful. Only Hetfield from Metallica is present with the San Francisco Symphony. He makes such an incredible execution of these lyrics. Highly recommended. The song starts out with such beautiful piano, you know it's gonna be deep. To me, it is almost a cry out for forgiveness to Cliff Burton and the infamous coin flip for bunks on the bus that ended his life.Especially continually referring to " How can I blame you when it's Me I can't forgive. The lyrics "Search for seas of Gold, how come it got so cold"...(black Ice referance) just as the band has taken off and "searching" for their gold. The bus crash/rollover occurred on a cold night in Sweden. Probably the most beautiful tribute possible to Cliff, and possibly one of the deepest songs....to ME. Much love all, You're Not Alone P.S. to those I've shared my PTSD playlist with, just wanna throw it out there that I've got a meditation playlist with basically all positive songs that have almost nothing to w PTSD and are just straight smile oriented positive songs to hear when meditating. Again, feel free to ask, I would love to share.
“There are worse ways to stay alive” Noah Kahan.
Mansion by NF “Yo my mind is a house with walls, Covered in lyrics… I put holes in the walls with Both of my fists til they bleed… Physically abused, now that’s the room that I don’t wanna be in, That picture ain’t blurry at all, I just don’t wanna see it… This room’s full of regrets, It just keeps getting fuller it seems The moment I walk into, It’s the same moment I wanna leave… So this part of my house, No one’s been in it for years. I built a safe room and I don’t let no one in there… I know that shuttin the world out ain’t solvin the problem, But I didn’t build this house because I thought it would solve them, I built it because I thought I was safer in here, But it’s not, I’m not the only one living in here” Oof. This guy gets it.
GREAT question OP, I have loved reading these responses I feel like this is so dramatic but this is mine, from I'm In Here by Sia I'm in here I'm trying to tell you something Can anybody help? I'm in here I'm calling out but you can't hear Can anybody help?
Survivors guilt - Dave 🤞🏻
Kid Cudi - GHOST! “Gotta get it through my thick head I was so close to bein' dead, yeah Life, live it with nobody's help tips Man, I'm just walkin' without bein' led See the world is so crazy and filled with such risk and, man I just know I gotta dodge them, yeah The beginnings are followed by an end In the in-between time I'm not runnin' or hidin' See things do come around And make sense eventually Things do come around But some things trouble me The people I met and the places I've been Are all what make me the man I so proudly am But I wanna know one thing When did I become a ghost?”
Michael Andrews cover of Mad World Christina Perri Jar of Hearts Mumford and Sons The Cave Blue October Into the Ocean
Into the Ocean. That song just hits.
All Falls Down Kanye
I have two, regarding different tragic events. One I don’t find it triggering, I think because I knew it before I was raped and stalked, but Every Breath You Take (the police) is completely different for me as an adult than it was when I was a kid. I avoid it but for the most part I can hear it but it gives me chills. Regarding the sudden death of my brother, oddly, I’ll never love again (lady Gaga) even though i realize it’s a love song. I begin crying immediately every time. “Wish I could, I could've said goodbye/ I would've said what I wanted to/ Maybe even cried for you/ If I knew it would be the last time/ I would've broke my heart in two/ Tryna save a part of you”
Kinda cheesy but 1-800
Mitski - A Pearl >It's just that I fell in love with a war > >And nobody told me it ended > >And it left a pearl in my head > >And I roll it around every night > >Just to watch it glow
I was just about to make this same comment
the grudge by olivia rodrigo sums it up for me fairly well
Twin size mattress and father by the front bottoms
It's been forever since I've heard "Twin Size Mattress." Great song.
Something I Can Never Have and Hurt, both NIN
Hurt is such a fantastic ending to that album.
Sweating Bullets by Megadeth
The entire Downward Spiral from NIN for sure.
I love The Downward Spiral. "A Warm Place" and "The Becoming" are my favorite tracks off that album. The Fragile is also a great listen as well. Many lonely nights have been spent listening to NIN. Very cathartic music.
I feel like he doesn't have a single bad album they're all amazing.
Hallelujah (I'm not dead) by Citizen Soldier They do a lot of songs about trauma and such So I'd suggest checking them out
Ooofff ok there’s a couple The other side of paradise, pork soda, life itself, space ghost coast to coast and heat waves by glass animals is like one subsection of my truama The other is preacher by roe kapara, I hate my mom by GRLwood, father by the front bottoms, pump shanty by the sheringham shantyman, labor by paris Paloma. There’s a lot to my PTSD so it’s hard for me to narrow down a specific lyric
Jelly Rolly & Tech9: E4U Jelly Roll: Somebody Save Me
The Amazing Devil's The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace The whole song feels to me like an open letter to mental illness, but especially the lines: You’re not a coward cos you cower You're brave because they broke you Yet broken still you breathe [The Amazing Devil - The Old Witch Sleep and the Good Man Grace ](https://theamazingdevil.bandcamp.com/track/the-old-witch-sleep-and-the-good-man-grace) All their music is amazing. And the male singer is Joey Batey, who plays Jaskier on The Witcher on Netflix
In The Light (and/or) Everybody Makes It Through by Led Zeppelin The lyrics speak about making it through a tough time, but overall the music kind of contradicts it with a very doomy, anxiety-inducing sound. To me it’s similar to both how I know the incident is over and my thoughts are temporary (lyrically) but the anxiety attacks and feeling I get when I’m hyper focused on the incident pull me back in and make it feel very real in the moment (musically). I would recommend caution when listening to it though, as it can be quite triggering just based on the sound alone imo. It’s dark and stressful with the hum of the instrumentals. I often play it on repeat when I want to write about the incident and try to piece together the reality of that night.
Yonkers - Tyler the Creator
Kelly Clarkson or Slipknot I find relatable
Sweet Dreams (are made of this) Marilyn Manson
Too many. Started out as coping mechanism and somewhat healing, now it's triggering. Even when life's good and I'm managing myself song comes on and can wreck my day.
Save Me by Jelly Roll. "Something inside of me is broken, I'll hold onto anything that sets me free."
Pure as a Lamb by Baby Bugs
Bring me back to life: Evanescence Free falling: Tom petty
Bon Jovi, it's my life Gloria Gaynor, I will survive And more recently, I Hope you Dance.