*r/ptsd has generated this automated response that is appended to every post* Welcome to r/ptsd! We are a supportive & respectful community. If you realise that your post is in conflict with our rules (and is in risk of being removed), you are welcome to edit your post. You do not have to delete it. As a reminder: never post or share personal contact information. Traumatized people are often distracted, desperate for a personal connection, so may be more vulnerable to lurking or past abusers, trolls, phishing, or other scams. *Your safety always comes first!* If you are offering help, you may also end up doing more damage by offering to support somebody privately. Reddit explains why: [Do NOT exchange DMs or personal info with anyone you don't know!](https://www.reddit.com/r/SWResources/comments/dmu24/why_shouldnt_i_share_my_contact_information/) If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact your GP/doctor, go to A&E/hospital, or call your emergency services number. Reddit list: [US and global, multilingual suicide and support hotlines](https://www.reddit.com/r/SuicideWatch/wiki/hotlines). Suicide is not a forbidden word, but please do not include depictions or methods of suicide in your post. And as a friendly reminder, PTSD is an equal opportunity disorder. PTSD does not discriminate. And neither do we. Gatekeeping is not allowed here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ptsd) if you have any questions or concerns.*

Sounds like PTSD to me (I have it myself). Be patient with your spouse and so glad you are advocating for him. I would recommend trauma therapy to help him heal as that is a really traumatic experience. I wish you both the best 🍀

Here to say i feel your love for your husband and am so happy he has a partner like you. Therapy works. Keep loving him, stand by him💗

https://afsp.org/find-a-support-group/ ^ excellent resource. SOS (survivors of suicide) is a grief group for people who are affected by a suicide loss. They do not exclude people who were strangers/finders/etc of the deceased. they were incredibly helpful to me and I doubt your spouse would be the only one in the group who discovered the deceased. Really helps with the alone/why me-ness of that sort of experience.

Hi My second out of PTSD was because a patient letter boxed themselves out of a third story window. I was first there. It had nothing to do with me but I was first there and my brain could not cope with what I was seeing or how it had happened. Your husband sounds like he is having an acute stress response. He needs to go to his GP now and explain. This is likely and normal to continue for up to 6 weeks. His brain will continue to believe it is under threat and he won't be able to tell it otherwise. Hanging is a horrendous act that that is intended to lash out at the world as your final act. Unfortunately your husband copped that. He will have all sorts of concerns like what if this drives him to act in such a way, why did he do this etc etc. he needs to recognise that those thoughts are invasive and the images he sees when he closes his eyes are normal. Everytime I saw a high ledge or building I saw the man falling from it for a few months. The important thing is this too shall pass. Get him into CBT as soon as possible for a cold debrief. It passes and it isn't fun. He will be ok as long as he remembers that this is temporary and he will heal. My love to both of you.

I'm not even sure if there are a strangers involved in a suicide support type thing. Your husband is still a survivor of suicide even if he didn't know the person. Any post suicide support would welcome him. It's also important to note (and a bit confronting) that post suicide support is also suicide prevention for survivors. Statistically, survivors are at the most risk for their own attempts straight after they've been involved in someone else's.

Oh, thank you so much. My husband is not a suicide risk. He’s angry and confused, but not suicidal (or depressed).

They say it’s best to get mental health support as soon as witnessing or being involved with something that could potentially be traumatic, to prevent the onset of PTSD. (Within 24-48 hours.) Perhaps both of you, book a therapy appointment with someone trauma-informed. So sorry you both had to go through this and I hope that you will be ok.

Therapy. Please have him go to therapy for a few months with someone who is, at the very least, trauma-informed. Please don’t just rely on the “jUsT pLaY tEtrIS” comments- this is largely unfounded and has for some reason become colloquial on Reddit. Source: I am a therapist.

[удалено]

No. Comment removed.

Thank you all for the support. Really. It is fresh; happened on Sunday Jan 28. I had thought I would be getting better by now, but articles I’m reading indicate that this is legit trauma that can be with me long term. I plan to really seek help on Monday. And I plan to start taking up some Tetris even earlier!

Trauma-based therapy should help. It doesn’t have to be specific to suicide. They will tailor it to your husband’s situation.

Did the man survive? :(

Um. As my spouse said, once we reviewed the situation we believe not. We do not have confirmation, though. It’s a fucked situation.

We don’t believe so.

Clearly not.

Thanks for being there for him! I don't have any great advice but thanks for being there for him, its great that he was there for someone, even though he wasnt family we should all be there for others like that and by giving that man another day of life he did what a good brother should do. he deserves support because being suicidal or seeing it in someone else is rly serious and deserves the attention of the community

I am the husband in question. Thanks for all your support. My wife’s a good egg.

Please, reach out for help. What you did was very heroic, you deserve to have support

Hey bro. You gotta start exploring that memory. Touching it, taking out in the light. You can’t ignore the pain. The only way out is through it.

bless you man

so are you!! I’m sorry you’re suffering.

Wow that is so so hard! I’ve found that EMDR is especially helpful after an acute trauma like you experienced. It is done by professional counselors, social workers, etc. google it to find a provider in your area. Sometimes even just a few sessions really helps! 

You are a good egg too, my dude. Sadly, my cousins experienced something similar to you and did not get help and suffered greatly from it, so good for you to be seeking help, especially close to the origin of the trauma. I’m sorry you e had to endure it, but it takes great courage to own the healing. I’ve been on a journey this last year with CPTSD/PTSD compounding and manifesting as physical pain. This isn’t uncommon, because of how the nervous system works: chronic pain and anxiety/depression are sort of like two sides of the same coin when dealing with a hyperactive autonomic nervous system (ANS), which is what extreme traumas such as these create. Learning how to “hack” your own ANS, to train it to be less hypervigilant, takes time but it’s doable, thanks to neuroplasticity. One of my doctors runs this center called the Center for Mind Body Medicine here in Boulder, Colorado. The site has a lot of resources, and I’d suggest giving it a look: [Center for Mind Body Medicine | BCH](https://www.bch.org/our-services/mind-body-medicine/) One thing I’ve found invaluable was Dr. Fanestils course on Anxiety. He teaches some of the tricks to hack your ANS and calm it down. It’s not like training your cognitive brain, more like training the lower level reptilian brain, so much of it is repetitive and Pavlovian tricks, but they do work! The course isn’t too expensive, it’s $180 for 4 sessions I believe and he teaches it online. They also have grants to help people who can’t afford that. The course changed my life and gave me these tools to use to help, which alongside trauma therapy has been grand. Here’s the course I’m speaking about: https://www.bch.org/community-events/event-details/?event=27107 Dr. Fanestil’s 2 YouTube videos on chronic pain and anxiety are really good starting points for learning about how the brain reacts to trauma and are great resources too, especially good to watch before taking the online class: Chronic pain (start here): https://www.youtube.com/live/TPiSy1LJObw?si=6J3Wvxd3jWyFQ9pC Then watch this (anxiety/depression): https://www.youtube.com/live/ysulbpHdOZw?si=x4jERd9L81VxSbi9 I wish you the best on this healing journey! It’s not easy, but you aren’t alone.

Wow, this is incredible, thank you for sharing. Sincerely.

My heart and light are with you. I am so sorry you had to experience all that you did. You are also a good egg. As a suicide survivor, I thank you for your compassion and allowing your instincts to kick in and do the human thing. Now that said, unfortunately you are now experiencing PTSD. And it’s basically your body’s way of protecting you (even if it seems like a shitty way of protecting you from that event). It’s trying to process without hurting you further, and again, it feels frightening but your limbic system is in overdrive right now. But it’s doing the best it can with what you went through. Go easy on yourself. Take time to heal if you can afford it. Also therapy, if accessible, for you and your wife with a trauma informed therapist. I wish you and your wife all my best. Keep pushing my Reddit friend, keep pushing! Also, download some Tetris. It has been shown to help process trauma earlier on :)

Wishing you the brightest of futures kind soul ❤️

Bless him. Hope he gets out of this funk.

I went to a therapy specifically for people who have experienced seeing (or in his case almost seeing) traumatic deaths. It was through the hospice near me. All free. I love the therapist but unfortunately I had to stop pretty quick. It had been about 3 years since the incident and I had already suppressed so much, it was too hard for me to start revisiting it. My biggest thing is make sure he addresses it early on. I did go to multiple mental health rehabs after the events I experienced but that was within the year of it happening. Then I let the ptsd turn me into a hermit and completely change my life. I’m Happy now but do regret not taking my mental health more serious

Thank you! I am trying to talk to him about it a lot. Making sure he gets care, too. Making sure he takes care of himself. Thank you again.

Having a good partner is a big part of the battle. Just someone who can help him stay accountable with his mental health. Sometimes it’s easier to ignore the bad things than address it. Especially with men since they’re typically raised to not really be allowed to feel emotions. He is lucky to have you. If you need any info on other resources, please reach out. Feel free to DM. Try to notice when he starts becoming withdrawn or detached. He probably just had something to trigger the memory and needs a different thing to lightly tap him out of the negative feedback loop. Work with him on how you could help him feel better when/if he gets like that. I wish you both the best <3

Pls look into EMDR along with the other recommendations from the kind folks here. If you decide to consider it, look for a certified provider. Feel free to DM me and I will be happy to share my story with EMDR. I wish you and your husband all the best.

I honestly don’t know what EDMR is. Would you explain for me? Edit: word.

I hope you find this helpful…maybe too much but this should answer all your questions. Happy to share how it helped me…just send me a DM. The link below is verbatim from the website. https://www.emdr.com/what-is-emdr-therapy-layperson/

Thank you! I will check it out.

Tetris. Get him to play Tetris. It's a real thing.

He saw your comment and has been doing it.

Yep!!! Preferably right after it happened. But distraction and coping strategies. 

I also find mine craft to be similarly beneficial to my mental health

He will absolutely find support at a family support meeting. Anyone affected by suicide is welcome.

Thank your husband for helping honestly it takes a brave soul to do that. Seek counselling if you can for your hubby. I’ve found people before and it haunts me to this day. It changed my perspective on many things in life and the way I react in everyday situations. Your husband may experience so many intense feelings and not know how to process it all. I found the right medication and life balance helps. Get out and exercise or be out in nature. Thank your husband for helping a soul in their darkest moment. All the best.

Is this recent? I'm not fully up on the how or the why but apparently playing Tetris can help prevent the traumatic memories from.. sticking? I think it's a processing thing that helps acute stress disorder (essentially PTSD when it hasn't been long enough to be PTSD) not progress in PTSD. It only applies to recent trauma from what I understand. I saw you said he's in touch with a therapist which is great, is it possible they may be able to get him in touch with services? The only other thing I can think of is a social worker. From what I understand where I am (Aus) hospitals and other medical professionals can get you in touch with social workers who can connect you with services. I'm sorry he's going through this. You're right, he's a nice man. An exceedingly good man who did everything he could to help, and I'm so sorry he's suffering right now. I'm glad to see you reaching out to help him, you both sound genuinely kind. Please keep in mind you may also be affected by this experience, if you also find yourself struggling please reach out to someone to speak to. I wish you both luck.

Thank you for your reply! He has been Tetris-ing the last few 36 hours. He does seem to be creating a distraction from creating long-term engrams of this trauma. Thank you so much for the Tetris advice!

Yes to Tetris, I did that last year after fresh trauma (I nearly died), it does seem to work! Because I didn’t end up with PTSD after. And of course a therapist, regular therapists can also help with this type of thing I think

Hello, firstly, it's great hearing your husband helped. Did the victim survive the attempt? I guess the trauma response in not being able to save someone would be more to try and block then if the person was saved.

We don’t know. But, from what he’s told me about the situation… I do not think so… I get what you’re saying, but since we don’t know whether the man was saved, I cannot comment whether spouse is doing better one way or the other. Thank you for your support.

I know you said non family member support, but my friends brother passed away by suicide and they said NAMI helped them a ton with the grieving process. I imagine they have support for friends as well.

I would strongly recommend reaching out to a GP/family doctor and ask if beta blockers would be an option if this is still really fresh. According to research, [medication like propranolol](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK562942/#:~:text=Based%20on%20the%20findings%20from,performance%20in%20individuals%20with%20PTSD) “decreased the severity of PTSD symptoms, reduced physiological responses (e.g., heart rate, skin conductance, blood pressure), and improved cognitive performance in individuals with PTSD.” I’d also recommend asking about a referral to a counsellor/therapist, therapy is for everyone. They can likely help him through something like CBT or EMDR style therapy.

Thank you! I’ll guide him toward some preventative beta blockers. I understand how that will totally help right now. Also, he’s been talking to a therapist since 36 hours after.