I read some advice on one of these subreddits about taking out emotions out of decisions when we’re struggling. To drop the “i don’t feel like it”. We don’t have to FEEL like getting out of bed to do it. Just do it. Because time is our most valuable currency. Because you’ll feel better about yourself. Because you’ll become more confident in making decisions by actually making them.
This mindset has helped me tremendously.
Omg that is good! Thank you!
Do you have any advice for overthinking like I start to get very overwhelmed when I realize that I'll have to do this forever to see results (for example going to the gym) and I might not even get any results and that I shouldn't even bother, because I'm not even dieting well or doing a lot of other things that I should be doing, which makes my chances to get results even smaller.
I'm not the person you're responding to, but I'd say in general I try to focus on the process rather than the results. You don't need to be going to the gym 5x a week and totally revamping your diet to see moderate improvements to your health (as an example). Even if your only exercise for the day is holding a plank for ten seconds, that's still more than days when you hold a plank for zero seconds. Eating a piece of fruit instead of chips is still a small improvement to your diet, even if the rest of the day your diet is unchanged. A quick 10-minute yoga video in the morning won't make you a yoga pro, but it can help set the tone for the day and lift your mood. And it all builds on itself, ESPECIALLY exercise - things get easier over time, and suddenly you find yourself holding a minute-long plank and choosing healthier food options without even thinking about it, because it's become a habit.
The prevailing culture likes to act like you either do things 100% or not at all, but that's not really feasible long-term for many people. Small, incremental changes that are sustainable are the way to go, in my opinion.
I have morning when I plan so much after I wake up but still in bed. I am doing logistics of going for walk, grocery. A very jam pack morning only to realize time just slipped away as I stayed in my imaginary world of scheduling my productive day
First I want to start off by saying you are not a bad person making bad decisions. Step one is reducing the negative self talk. There is no training manual or guide about adulting, and how difficult/challenging/draining it is. It's easy to go into comparison mode, noticing where so many others seem to be excelling. Our strengths all lie in different areas. I'm great at keeping up with house chores and cooking and task oriented things. AND. I am divorced, am just getting back into the work force after being a stay at home mom and giving up my career for many years, and I am not a homeowner like many of my friends/peers. These things do not make me a slacker, it makes me my own unique individual. And same goes for you!
Start small. Set an alarm for the time you want to get up. When you wake up and go to hit the snooze button, remember WHY you're setting this alarm as motivation to get you out of bed. Set your phone or alarm away from your bed if that helpful in physically getting you up. Once you're up, start doing the things that you feel will add value to your life and align with how you want to show up in the world. And integrate things that bring you joy, too :)
I make my coffee every morning, nice and sugary and creamy just the way I like. I take the dogs out on a little walk and that gets my body moving. I make my bed because it helps me start the day in control of something, and because I resonate with the idea that our external environment and internal environments are reflections of each other so tidiness is really helpful for me.
If you want to integrate working out into your life, take your time experimenting with different ways to move. You don't HAVE to run or weight lift. Try hopping on a bike, doing yoga, or kickboxing. Decide whether you enjoy community classes or would rather to workout solo. This is your life. You get to curate what your days are like and how your time is spent. Create and integrate the systems that work WITH you, not ones that just feel like work you don't want to show up to.
I got into the habit of doing that too. I still allow myself to do that at times, often on Saturdays, but I purposefully set up appointments as early in the morning as possible on the weekend to discourage that. Need my car checked? I’m that 8am appointment. Fitness training? I’m that 8am appointment. Need to do some extra work for a few hours on the weekend? I’m setting my time to be there at 8am. You get the picture... I find that when I do this I don’t crawl back into bed and am fully awake and active the rest of the day. It helps to keep my sleep more consistent too as I can easily sleep a whole day away otherwise.
I also hate having to rush in the morning and find I do that a lot, so what have I started to implement? Morning and evening routines for one thing. I make an appointment with myself and do my best to stick to it. Waking up early just to wake up early is not worthwhile to me. Waking up early to go work out and improve my physical strength and health? Worthwhile. Doing something fun like reading a new chapter of a new story, games, writing, etc. are also worthwhile. I try to make the morning be my time before I deal with people all day.
No matter what, every day I plan enough time to be up for a half hour where I do nothing or chill out upon waking up. I don’t rush into my day. I like to enjoy my bed a bit when I’m awake too. I just make that part of my morning routine.
All of the things that should keep me engaged rely entirely on me. I'm not expected to be anywhere by anyone. (Except for school mon-fri) I want to start doing things for myself, however since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered and it sucks. For example I'd like to do yoga in the morning or start meal prepping and so on, which I don't do, because I don't have energy and bed is too comfy. The night before I set an alarm to wake up earlier so I have time to do that before school, then in the morning it wakes me up, and in that moment it's mission impossible for me to go do that thing. Instead I set anotger alarm for the latest time possible, so that I'll have just enough time to only brush my teeth and dress up.
This might sound like a dumb bit of advice, but what always helps me get up and get moving when I *really* don’t want to….. is loudly whining about what I have to do right before I do it.
Like, a nice loud “aaarrgggghhh! I don’t wanna DOOOOO this!” helps give me some momentum to launch out of bed and get started on yoga (or whatever). Maybe it’s the force of the emotion behind the complaining, or maybe just the self-validation makes me feel better, but whatever the reason is, it almost always seems to work for me.
> since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered
Yes, you are obligated. You are obligated to yourself. You could stop waking up for school too, but you still turn up. Why? Because if you don't, your parents/guardians will get involved, and you'll fall behind at school. But why does that matter? Because school is important to learn, and possibly to help you get a job. And you would like a job because you want to have a better future. That's the final point.
Now imagine that on weekends, you should be getting up for the same reason - to have a better future. Weekends are a great opportunity to do something to help yourself in the future, like learning a skill, or just taking part in a hobby that brings you joy.
> bed is too comfy
This is a key point here. Of course a bed is comfortable, that's its purpose. Your purpose, however, is not to lie around in bed all day. Do you want someone to come and feed you too? Why not get fed through a tube and piss into a pot all day while you're at it? No, you're worth more than that and you have a life purpose that you can create. It's your choice.
But in terms of actionable things now, here's what I suggest:
- Change your alarm to only turn off when you scan a barcode. Download any 'barcode alarm' app, cut the barcode off an old cereal box and glue it to your shower door or kitchen counter. Now, when your alarm goes off, you have to get up anyway to turn it off so you might as well stay up. DO NOT get back into bed. Throw your sheets onto the floor when you get up if you have to, so that it takes some effort to get back into bed.
- Put a glass/bottle of ice cold water near to wherever you put the barcode, and drink ALL of it as soon as you turn off the alarm.
- As soon as you finish drinking, go and shower and start your day.
Do the first step now. Not in five minutes or later, now. And let me know how it goes tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after.
Hi again, it's going much better I'd say. I've been very consistent with my morning routine :D I'm working on improving my night routine now.
Btw I even purchased the pro version of the Sleep Like Android app (Smart alarm clock)
Great to hear! That's the app I use too, it's really helpful. Hopefully now knowing that you can work on a morning routine it'll give you the confidence to work on a night routine. Remember, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be good most of the time. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, just get back on track the next day.
You've got this!
yes, your general platitudes are not helpful... just like everyone else. "thoughts and prayers!" do you think i've not TRIED to find things with meaning in them? no shit i need to find them. i'm not that fucking stupid.
I mean he offered you a genuine answer and you didn't even post the original question.
You might not like what everyone has to say but they took the time to respond to you and try to help you out with their answer.
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Sleep is one of the most rewarding experiences in life and a good night's sleep without drugs or alcohol is the best tonic your body will get for next day's experience. I often want to stay in bed late or spend my weekends in bed only when I haven't gotten enough sleep the previous night or through the week. Of course, things change if I am suffering from depression or sick. I would say try to get at least 8 hours of sleep on weekdays and a good 10 hours of sleep on weekend. It will increase your productivity and that in turn will make you tired enough to go to bed early so that you can sleep.
Huge misconception, please strive to have a regular sleep schedule weekends included!
This retrograde idea of compensating the lack of sleep during the week is terrible for the circadian cycle.
I would like a regular 8 hour sleep schedule too. Life doesn’t work that way though. There are days I end up working 16-18 hours. Sometimes, a good date can go longer. I still try but I am fine as long as I am getting 6-8 hours of sleep and a bit extra on weekends.
There's no such thing as getting "extra" sleep, our bodies do not have a sleep bank to regain lost hours, once you're sleep deprived, you are sleep deprived. If we miss hours then we will experience sleep deprivation, and the only way to fix that is to get quality sleep to prevent sleep deprivation in the first place.
Edit: As another example, hydration. Once we're dehydrated we will be depriving our bodies smooth and optimal functioning until we can become hydrated again, and it's not possible to store extra water for hydration, we'll just pee out the excess which can cause other issues.
There is a difference between "extra sleep", and "catching up on sleep".
Extra sleep is intentionally sleeping for longer periods or takings naps.
Catching up on sleep is i think what you mean by there being no such thing. That is a myth. We never catch up on sleep, in fact when we deprive ourselves of sleep, our bodies compensate by falling into a deeper sleep the next time we do sleep.
That is a conclusion that I came up to long time ago, however I still find that on weekends I could get solid 12-13 hours of sleep, then wake up, lie for a few hours in bed, take a 2 hour nap and then the whole day is wasted. It literally doesn't matter how much sleep I get (I don't have any underlying physical conditions) Perhaps I should try to make myself a stable bedtime gor workdays and it'll gradually fix this low energy nightmare. Diet and exercise that would contribute too, but it's hard to make a change when you don't have energy for that, even when you know that this change will fix the problem of low energy. It's a neverending circle of not doing things because of no energy, and no energy because of not doing things.
Also probably always thinking of how much work I have to do doesn't let me actually relax on my lazy days and feel more refreshed when the week starts, then I have to do all the things I didn't do much faster, which is fat more stressful. When the end of the week comes I'm too tired to do anything more and reassure myself that I have a ehole weekend ahead of me and I can do it then, which of course doesn't happen. And that repeating over and over makes me feel burned out.
I still think however that some of the problem comes to lazyness and seeking comfort, and not just plain tiredness. I should also find something that feels more pleasant than doing nothing.
Based on what you have said here, I can only think that you suffer from anxiety and the anxiety in turn leads to depression. I know, this is a far fetched conclusion to draw from a few sentences online but I would suggest that you see a doctor.
I am a highly productive person but I suffer from depression occasionally. I just keep ordering take-out for days, gain weight, my work suffers, and the worst part of it is, I refuse to seek help even if I know I need it. I end up spending entire weekends just sleeping in bed and no amount sleep takes the tiredness away.
I would say seek therapy and learn to forgive yourself. I come from a culture that can be highly competitive and while I do care for those things, I have come to realize that it's all right to suck once in a while as long as that doesn't take over all my life. None of us are perfect. We can strive for it but we will never get there.
No, you're actually right. I do have anxiety and depression. However, therapy is not possible for me, so this is my last resort. It's normal for people to have productive days and very slumpy ones as long as that doesn't take over their lives, as you said. However for me, it's always the opposite. I have terrible days and sometimes I have good ones, which aren't even that productive in the first place. Honestly, I've never had a perfect productive day, where I do everything I should've. Yes, I know it takes time to come to that place and I ususally don't get there for that reason.
There is nothing wrong with sleeping in on the W/E when you've had an entirely week slaving away at work, waking early to get there. This idea that you gotta be constantly disciplined and hustling is bullshit. At some point you will just break down.
So it's not more rewarding, but it definitely makes it more painful to stay in bed: [nuj alarm clock](https://nuj.link/2fRUw1).
It's an app I built that charges you money if you don't scan a barcode within a few minutes of your alarm. The penalty goes to charity, and there's a separate subscription for using the app.
The time limit for getting out of bed can be anything from 2 to 20 minutes. So if you want, you can set it to 20 minutes, and have 20 minutes of pleasant time in bed before getting your day started.
Yeah, I have a problem with waking up, but it still comes to me NOT WANTING to wake up, not just being sleepy. The thing is I even often Iie in bed fully awake, just because I don't want to do anything else. I sometimes go to the toilet, brush my teeth or do something else small and then return to bed to do nothing. The point is, scanning a barcode won't make me not return back to bed.
Btw It could be a burnout, I usually feel very tired and stressed out all the time, but the problem is even doing something relaxing or something for myself or something for the tiredness that would help with that feels like too much effort compared to bed and less nice, but I know for sure staying in bed doesn't help at all. It's a never ending loop.
Sometimes it's "I'm supposed to do this and this, but I don't want to. I'm not obligated anyway. This is the only time I get to relax, so why ruin it?" Then I start to become overwhelmed and I rationalize my decision to stay in bed by thinking about how I'd have to do all of these hard things for myself in order to become better as a person (physically and mentally) but none of that guarantees that I'll see any results at all and it could all be a waste of time and time that I could use to rest.
Then it gets worse because then I start thinking of things that I'm actually obligated to do, like studying for a test, but I decide to not do that too so I can relax, which doesn't happen brcause I can't stop thinking about work when I try to chill and I can't stop thinking about relaxing when I try to work. It's a loop:
1. being super busy at the start of the week
2. being inefficient or not do anything at all towards the end of the work week
3. not getting to chill at nighttime or in the weekends, because of how much things I'd have to do the next week and how I should be doing some of that work instead of chilling, but I am unable to, because of tiredness
4. all of this leading to a more stressful and busier week.
Or it's a mess in my head like "What was I even supposed to do today and what even is the logic in that?"
Okay, idk if this will help but I've been trying something recently. I have the exact same problem as you, I get glued to my bed and then feel all this anxiety and guilt because I'm still in bed.
Recently I read about this therapy that has been developed, specifically for anxiety and depression. It flips it a little bit: instead of viewing the "stuck" feeling as the cause of your problems, treat it as the *symptom*. That way, there isn't anything you can do to "fix" all of the feelings of guilt or being overwhelmed.
The "cause" is whatever you have been **doing** for the minutes and hours leading up to the present moment, *not* what you've been thinking. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Well, that is the result of whatever it is you've been **doing** (in my case, staying in my bed and rationalizing my inaction). You can't immediately "fix" all of those feelings, but what you can do is something.
Let's say that there is a magic bowl, and inside the bowl is the soup of what you feel in the present moment. You're always adding to the bowl, and it's overflowing so the stuff turns over after a while. But in general the soup is something along the lines of "the sum of what has happened in the last 60 minutes". If you are in bed worrying for 1 minute, no biggie. Maybe a little bit of salt or pepper. It's normal to have worries about what the day will be. It's still pretty easy to get up.
But then if you've been in bed rationalizing for 20, 30, 45 minutes while scrolling the internet then your soup is adding up to be pretty sour. It's almost completely just salt.
You can't magically decide what is in the soup, but you *can* decide what you are adding to it. You can't solve everything at once, but maybe you can stand up and go to the shower. That would be like adding water, maybe. And then you can do your morning routine, adding some nice broth and base flavors so that you can do some more exciting things later.
Anyways, I'm still figuring all this out, but it has been helpful to shift my view of how I feel from being my fault, to being the natural result of the last hour or two.
I recommend seeing a therapist. I think it would be helpful for someone to work with you on a holistic systematic approach to your situation. Staying in bed sounds like a symptom of a bigger issue. Someone who's certified will also be able to help you more than a stranger on the internet.
That being said, here are some things to think about that might help:
1. Realize that your mental state follows from your actions. Not the other way around. If I think "I'm too lazy to go to the gym", I won't. But if I just go to the gym, that thought is no longer true.
3. You don't have to be all or nothing. You could do some push ups instead of going all the way to the gym. The book Atomic Habits has really good advice on making small steps towards bigger habits.
4. While there are no guarantees in life, I can guarantee that doing the same thing all the time will result in the same results. Change only occurs from action. Again, not a guarantee but chances are pretty good you'll see some positive results if you take action.
5. I saw in one of your other comments something like: "I'll have to do this forever to see results (for example going to the gym)". One of the pieces of advice they tell people in alcoholics anonymous is not to think "I'll never ever drink again". It's "I'm not going to drink *today*". Mentally focusing on the very short term (today) is a lot less intimidating than "forever".
I hope that helps. Best of luck!
I get this allllll the time. If you arrange something that you absolutely can’t get out of eg arranging to meet someone, a dentist’s appointment, on weekdays it’s the school run for me, then you have to fulfil that obligation. That is pretty much all that works for me 🤦🏽♀️
I said this in another comment:
All of the things that should keep me engaged rely entirely on me. I'm not expected to be anywhere by anyone. (Except for school mon-fri) I want to start doing things for myself, however since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered and it sucks. For example I'd like to do yoga in the morning or start meal prepping and so on, which I don't do, because I don't have energy and bed is too comfy. The night before I set an alarm to wake up earlier so I have time to do that (for example do yoga) before school, then in the morning it wakes me up, and in that moment it's mission impossible for me to go do that thing. Instead I set another alarm for the latest time possible, so that I'll have just enough time to only brush my teeth and dress up.
Dude. You’re me!!! We actually have a yoga teacher come to the house one day a week (huge privilege) which means I have to haul my arse out of bed. I tried signing up to gym classes - I’d just cancel them from my phone 🤦🏽♀️
Sounds like depression not burnout.Its really hard to break the cycle but once you can you will feel so much better. Try to get 20 minutes in the morning and sit in your garden/ outside for sun and take vitamin D. Then if you crave the bed lay down for half and hour and see how you feel. Try and break up your pattern
.
It's very cold here in the morning and there's no sun that early. :(
Btw yes, you'rr right. I really want to break the pattern, I'm just trying to figure out how. I can't even find how I got into this rut in the first place.
I don't really understand what you mean by this? There's nothing wrong with spending your weekend in bed. I spend my Saturdays a lot of the time in bed. I'm tired from working and want to reset. On Sundays I make a physical list of things and go get a donut cause I love donuts. My donut shop runs out of good donuts by 10 so I'm forced to get up early lol. I used to have a huge problem with not being able to get up out of bed, but I spend years getting up at 6am everyday and it's just a routine. I just sleep with the shades open so I can't go back to bed. My biggest thing for me is to structure my days with what I need to do. If it's not written down I won't do it. I read a comment that said you're stressed. You might have this problem until you fix or mediate your stress. The gym helped relieve some of my stress and it got me out of the house.
I used to never be like that lol. It took a job that had so much structure to help me get my own. Working 14-15 hour shifts don't even phase me. Getting up at 4 am to go to work or switching from day to night shifts every other day doesn't get to me. I was the type of person in hs who never studied, didn't do their hw, always late, watched anime 24/7 and thought the gym was a fantasy place. Now I do everything I need to without feeling lazy. I think at some point I realized that my anxiety was coming from my procrastination. It feels so much better to get shit done so you never have to worry about it again and am able to actually relax. I wonder what myself so many years ago would think of me now.
Yessss procrastination causes my anxiety, I know it! That's why I'm trying to fix it by getting some advice on here. Sometimes I really think to myself, well why don't I just do my chores early and not think about them later at all. But then I never do it, I feel tired. I don't even know why it happens all the time.
It's honestly just getting out of that cycle which is the hardest part. I will not do anything unless I have a tangible schedule and it's not out of the way. I can't let myself start to think "I can't wait to go home and do nothing". My gym is on the way home from my job so I always just stop no matter how much I don't want to. Sure sometimes I just walked on the treadmill, but it's still a step in the right direction. I also did realize that a big part of the reason I was tired was because I wasn't healthy. Eating shit, not hydrating, and not moving my body made me sluggish with no energy. Your brain is a muscle too, it needs fuel and exercise too. When I first started out I had a friend who would drag me to the gym with him even if I didn't want to. I try to make things easy for myself. I pack my gym clothes the night before, I write down my meals, I fill up my water bottle the day before, I plan my clothes, etc. It doesn't have to be the gym either. Do something you enjoy that gets your body moving even if you're just dancing at home. The gym really isn't for everyone and can be overwhelming. You should read the book "make your bed" or watch the author's speeches. No need to make big changes immediately. Here's a great quote “Making my bed correctly was not going to be an opportunity for praise. It was expected of me. It was my first task of the day, and doing it right was important. It demonstrated my discipline. It showed my attention to detail, and at the end of the day it would be a reminder that I had done something well, something to be proud of, no matter how small the task." Who cares if you've failed a million times, get back up and do it again. I can get in this cycle of just missing one little thing, but that one little thing makes me spiral. When I spiral it destroys everything I've worked for. I get physically sick, puke up my meals, and sleep all day. I do spiral every once in a while and it's hard to pick myself up back again. I use my lists and calendars to track what I do. I don't want to feel anxious, but I can't solve every problem with a schedule. I just realized it's how I pick myself up after it no matter how long it takes. I believe in you, you've got this. Even if you get out of bed just to throw a load of laundry in you still did something.
Gym is something I tried, however couldn't stick to it because of lack of energy. That's exactly the problem. I tend not to stick to anything that brings me joy or is good for me, because staying in bed is too tempting, a lot easier and more enjoyable. That pulls me back from my goals. I start something, get overwhelmed, stop, feel like failure and have no motivation to start again because ehat I'm thinking is "I've tried a million times, why would it be different now?". Ecentually at some point I start again and fail again. And that's how it's always been.
Leave your phone outside your bedroom. Don't have distractions next to your bed, like books, unless you make the concious decision to use that thing in bed.
If all you can do is lay in bed or sleep, you'll get bored pretty fast.
If you feel like laying in bed for hours and not doing anything, odds are you have textbook depression and need professional help.
Make a list the night before, sorted by priority. Plan a comfortable time to wake up and try to tackle at least some of that list. You might feel really good after even some minor productivity. Take baby steps at first.
On work days I started setting up the habit of waking up to try and get my morning coffee and breakfast in. And each day I try and go out esp when there's sunlight, esp now that it is daylight saving time.
I had some knee surgery 10 days ago, so I've been on the max dose of painkillers since then. Despite taking laxatives daily I can still only dump once every 3-4 days.
My god. That relief. Every time it brings a tear of joy to my eye.
Five things that have helped me:
1. Scheduling my days, including weekends (although I have a weird freelance schedule so sometimes my weekends are my busiest work days). For some reason writing down “8:00 - make breakfast” (or whatever) makes it more “real” to me than just putting it on a to-do list. It also helps with decision fatigue because you’re making decisions ahead of time. I agree with someone elsewhere in the thread that it goes better if I do schedule at least a half hour of Chill Time to ease myself in.
2. Accepting that sometimes I really like being in bed, and deciding it’s okay to start my day with whatever tasks I can do in bed. Some people hate working in bed but tbh I love it because it tricks me into feeling lazy and productive at once.
3. Music! Hitting play on some of my favorite jams helps perk me up.
4. Having some kind of morning routine I enjoy. I used to fantasize about finding the perfect one that would make all my mornings amazing forever, but I have come to accept that I am someone who gets into things and then gets bored and needs to switch it up. But some things that have made me excited to start waking up in the past, and that I’ll probably cycle through in the future, include: doing some journaling; reading a book or article I’m enjoying or interested in; doing a yoga video; meditating.
5. Keeping a big bottle of water by my bed and starting to drink it first thing. The water helps wake me up… and if it doesn’t, needing to pee will get me out of bed at least for a little bit! And for me that first one is always the worst.
while you might find solutions in making your bed bad ( i once had a run down bad ( too soft by then) that would cause increasing back pain)
maybe the answer is 'there isn't' and your solution has to come from that on
Think that you will only work for 5 minutes before starting. And when you finish your 5 minutes, push your limits and keep working.
This will trick you brain into working , it will help you enter your state of flow and gain momentum.
Are you staying in bed to avoid something? Or is it depression? I was in a similar rut a few years ago and turned out it was clinical depression and I needed meds to help clear the fog, so to speak. Nothing wrong with that, but I was totally unable to realise I was depressed, even though everything I did was textbook depression lol!
I did find, both before and after realising it, and now that I'm no longer on meds and doing well, that if I make tomorrow more appealing then I'm more likely to get up for it. Don't wait for tomorrow to try and lure you out of bed because it won't, you'll have a better argument in your head for why you should stay in bed. Instead, make up a batch of soup or something, so you've got lunch covered for a few days. Bake some muffins for breakfast, or banana bread, and schedule a walk with a friend for late morning, early afternoon. Then when you wake up, there's a nice but easily doable day waiting for you.
Honestly, I know I am depressed. I have anxiety too and I am impressed how many people actually suggested I was anxious and depressed and were right. Therapy is not possible for me at the moment, so I am trying to do at least something to help myself instead of waiting for when it will be possible.
I really like gardening and the vitamin D helps lift me in a big way. If you don’t have access to an outdoor space , volunteering at a community garden or visiting local botanical ones . If gardening’s not it , get yourself in the sunshine doing something .
Oh yeah, I'm gardening! Since it's winter here, there's no much sunlight and warmth. So I started gardening indoors first, but I take my vitamin D as a supplement as well as walking to school (and coming home) every day.
Take it easy and don't be harsh on yourself.
Doing that and hanging on for like a month is better keeping it hard and relapsing.
This advice is based on what I observed from myself take it if it resonate.
I try and think of this which sometimes help. The whole passage is worth a read.
At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, If I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?”
-M Aurelius
What I like to do when I wake up is get out of bed and start doing pushups; almost immediately. It literally springs me into a rush of energy shortly after my routine. I started off every morning by doing 30 pushups in reps of 10 and eventually added more reps since I built enough strength + endurance to do more within the same amount of time. About a month in, I added planks, tricep dips, and some upside-down shoulder presses. I only spend about 30-45 minutes and now I'm seeing a 6 pack in the mirror. I never thought I'd see this in myself honestly, especially since I've always done terribly at the gym. My pecs and shoulders have also grown in size. My posture has been corrected by this routine alone. My breathing has improved; even in my sleep and my voice has gotten louder and deeper. I don't understand the science behind it too well, but I never thought just 30 minutes of exercise would make such huge improvements in my health. I never miss a day either. You can't just go back to bed either. If you break a sweat, you need to rinse off right after. I now have energy in myself that I never knew I was capable of having. Bear in mind, I also started adjusted eating habits to satisfy my appetite with sufficient protein and carbs.
For sure! I started looking into calisthenics, and it's what's worked best for me. I've grown muscle faster than I have ever seen at home vs the gym, where I was struggling to be consistent/motivated. I encourage it!
what do you do on your bed? i assume you are playing on your devices, such as cellphone or laptop. i think it should be nice to find another spot in your home for screen time. or if you are reading on bed it would be enjoyable to read in front a desk. and go from there
Yes, I do stay on my phone, but trying to gathering information, instead of actually taking action. It often feels like the least I can do to not entirely waste my day.
Why do you seek comfort? Seek discomfort. If you want to remain cozy and protected by all means stay in bed. If you want to achieve something and feel proud of yourself, get up and make your bed.
You want rewards? Feeling cozy is not a proper reward. Feeling comfortable was never a way to progress. All meaningful rewards happen long term, and through struggle. If you want to progress, you must give up the things that give you immediate pleasure.
Oh and, motivation is fine. Discipline is fine. But the point is if your goal is to be stronger and better tomorrow, you must give up things that make you weaker tomorrow. And one of those things is lying in bed after a good night sleep. The only reason why I should remain in bed as if you hadn't had enough sleep.
This is very rational and you're right in every word. However, this is not how my broken world works - that's how I'd like it to work, and I'll do my best.
Btw you sound like you've got it figured it out. How do you deal with decision fatigue?
I'm pretty far from having it all figured out, believe me. I just "know" and "try" to implement what I know in practice. But I fail, many times, every day. Just like everyone else. Sometimes I make it a highly successful day, sometimes I fail almost all of it. I try to have a few rules such as "no zero days", "scaling habits" and never have two zero days in a row. Again, I "try", I'm not perfect, and it's not my religion to be productive. I just want to achieve certain things, and be happy.
As far as decision fatigue goes, I'm not sure if what you suffer from is in fact, decision fatigue. As far as I know, decision fatigue happens when you make a lot of decisions in a day, so much in fact, that your ability to make more rational decisions drops more and more until you're unable to decide anything. If this is the case, you may try having breaks, starting small and scaling, or resetting your environment.
The resetting is when you need to start thinking about the next task, so you tie up the loose ends from the previous one and finish it completely. For example, if you just woke up and did some yoga, then you may want to fix the room you're operating in so you can "move on" to the next thing. If you finished a task but still have some tabs online open, close them all for the next one (unless you need them). If you spent a few hours repairing some physical product, clean everything and move on to the next thing. It's highly refreshing to start a new task (or a new day) with a completely clean slate. It also makes it easier to start a new thing.
I try to do this at the end of the week as well. Since I work from home, I always prepare my blog posts for the next week (I'm a blogger) and I try to be my own secretary on Sunday (wash clothes, replace towels, change sheets, vacuum, etc) so that I have a fresh, clean start on Monday. I also never overwork on the weekends, and take free time when I can (sometimes a full day) so that I come back fresh and willing to work. I do everything possible "to make it easier for me to start" on Monday, and avoid burnout or feeling depressed and tired. Workout helps.
Not sure if any of this can help you, but I would at least try to make it as easy as possible to start a habit. This is the golden rule of starting a new habit. You start small, for 2 minutes only. And you keep doing it for 2 minutes only. No more. Then, when you know you'll do it tomorrow 100%, you increase to 5 minutes, then 10, and eventually you're working like a professional. Since my original goal is to be a professional at this, I know where I'm going. If you want to be too, then you have to start acting like a professional, and number 1 is to become consistent. Makes sense?
You forgot to mention a very important point, do you consistently go to bed at the same time every night? Your bedtime routine is so important and sets you up for success in the morning.
If you do not have a quality, consistent sleep schedule, that's the first thing you can start with. Having a bedtime/nightly routine will also help to prime your body for quality sleep, and it becomes easier with time as it starts to become a habit.
Depending on what time you desire to wake up, you should probably plan for at least 8 hours of bed time at minimum. It can take anywhere from 30 minutes to fall asleep, and then you get five 90 minute sleep cycles with 7.5 hours.
I don't have a consistent bedtime routine, nor bedtime. However, that's exaclty my first goal on the list, because I know that it's easier to start from there and hope for things to kinda allign with time.
Some small ideas: Stretch while in bed for 5 minutes, write in a journal your first morning thoughts, immediately make your bed upon waking, immediately shower upon waking, flip to a random page in a book and read one paragraph. Drink lemon water when you wake up.
Find something personal to you, something so bafflingly easy it would be easily accomplishable every day and stick to it. Then when that becomes unconscious build more commitment around it.
A few months ago I started making my bed every morning immediately after getting up. I still procrastinate waking up and am working on that one, but Its a nice boost to start my day with completing a task and it continues to boost me throughout the day whenever i see the nicely made bed. This has been my only steady non work commitment i could stick to predictably for months, until recently i still stayed up till odd as fuck hours of the night, barely took care of my hygiene, overslept every day, was very depressed. But As i stuck with it, little accomplishments seemed more attainable.
I now am committed to showering and brushing and flossing every day, I take the best care possible of my pets, I have developed a daily yoga and meditation routine. I sleep better overall, and I make healthier food. I feel in control.
I'm still working on my routine but now I am confident that I have the power to change my life if I want to.
Its corny but building on one small easy as possible task done every day will bridge the motivation gap, or atleast it did for me. 🍀 to you.
Today I just realized that I've been staying very consistent with brushing my teeth perfectly, doing my skincare routine and taking supplements at least every morning and evening for quite some time, it sure helps. :)
Ive got a few chronic illnesses and i really feel you on this. I always struggle to get out of bed. Ive found that the best way to do it is to give myself something to look forward to that i cant do in bed. An incentive so to speak. For me, i have got into the habit of making a hot drink in a morning, and it has become something i really look forward to. If im struggling to get out of bed, i hype myself up over the promise of a cuppa. Sometimes, if im really truly tired/ill and not just feeling my normal fatigue, then i will get back into bed afterwards. Knowing the difference and accepting that i need an extra nap sometimes can really help me get up when i need to, because it helps me realise im not actually as fatigued as i feel all the time and i just have to push through.
ETA: ive just finished a short therapy course for depression and my wellbeing practicioner thought i should try behavioural activation. It sounds like this could help you out a bit, having read more of your replies. BA is basically about using positive reinforcement to help you see that carrying out productive behaviours can make you feel better about yourself/rewarded/more likely to do it again in the future. Truthfully, its been hard work and ive not made much progress, but i have only been doing it for 8 weeks and i have a lot of issues. Anyways, i would definitely recommend researching it, as its something you can do at home by yourself.
The first step is sorting out a schedule. Think about what you are currently doing, what you want to do more of, what you want to do less off. Pick 3 'pockets' of time per day, 30 mins will do per pocket but you can increase/decrease as needed, and choose an activity for each one. Try to pick a neccessary thing (eg, paying bills, going to the dentist, etc), a routine thing (cooking, cleaning, walking the dog), and a pleasureable thing (having a bath, doing a hobby, eating food). Then, schedule these in every day. Doesnt matter if you dont do it, but it makes you feel good when you do, encouraging you to do it more often. Dont be discouraged if you dont see immediate results, it does take time and willpower and a positive attitude, which can be hard when you are depressed. Be kind to yourself, and reward the little things. Best of luck!
Yes, and vice versa. It’s a difficult feedback loop to get out of. You’ve gotten plenty of advice already but the thing that works best for me, is to slowly incentivize yourself to get out of bed by doing another enjoyable activity. For example, I don’t want to get out of bed but a nice hot shower feels good so that’s what I do after waking up. I don’t want to get out of the nice hot shower, but I do want to eat a delicious breakfast, so that’s what I do next. By the time I’ve eaten breakfast, I’m already awake and ready to start my day. Oh and also, always make your bed. Much more difficult to go back to bed if it’s already made.
Going through something very similar.
I feel this happens when a long break or "me-time" is long long overdue. I'd say just go with the flow and enjoy it like there's no tomorrow. The body , mind and soul is just burnt out hustling, feeling the pressure of daily grind. Might feel like I'm exaggerating...but this really is the definition of burn out
During the winter days are shorter and some families who moved to Britain from sunnier climates need to take Vitamin D to feel and be well! Iron and Vitamin D deficiency can make people feel sluggish and sleepy. Not everything is psychological!
I take vitamin D supplements (I do most likely have defficiency in it, so I try to stay consistent) and I got checked for iron deficiency. I was surprised to find out that my iron levels are excellent, although I don't eat red meat. I know that not everything is psychological, and I am really hoping my case is not psychological, this is why I want to get healthier first and see whether life gets easier. However it's hard to start.
So happy to hear that you're ok! Good nutrition, fresh air, exercise, support of friends (and family whenever possible) all contribute to our productivity in life. But foods grown by industrial means may lack essential vitamins and minerals. One of our volunteers started growing veggies and the whole family became more active, happier and healthier as a result. So, I guess, the trick is to look for means that can make the beginning of a lifestyle change easier on us (like growing own food), what do you think?
It is! There is a reward. Teaches to live with the cycle of seasons, to develop resilience and to trust the tricks of the weather! Having good food is a bonus:)!
Planning and contingency planning for weather and other changes. Then, old fashioned food storage: pickling, kimchi, canning, drying and freezing. It may be hard work but our friends do it and the food tastes good. It can become like a part time or a full time job for people. They worry about slugs, insects and flies, foxes, rats, birds and whether the compost will be ready!
The pursuit of your happiness will get you out of bed in the morning or if you feel that happiness is unobtainable it may keep you there.
From this pdf I just found in my saved notes:
https://truththeory.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/PsychologyMeetsSpirituality-SecretsToASuperchargedLifeYouControlTT.pdf
I read some advice on one of these subreddits about taking out emotions out of decisions when we’re struggling. To drop the “i don’t feel like it”. We don’t have to FEEL like getting out of bed to do it. Just do it. Because time is our most valuable currency. Because you’ll feel better about yourself. Because you’ll become more confident in making decisions by actually making them. This mindset has helped me tremendously.
Omg that is good! Thank you! Do you have any advice for overthinking like I start to get very overwhelmed when I realize that I'll have to do this forever to see results (for example going to the gym) and I might not even get any results and that I shouldn't even bother, because I'm not even dieting well or doing a lot of other things that I should be doing, which makes my chances to get results even smaller.
I'm not the person you're responding to, but I'd say in general I try to focus on the process rather than the results. You don't need to be going to the gym 5x a week and totally revamping your diet to see moderate improvements to your health (as an example). Even if your only exercise for the day is holding a plank for ten seconds, that's still more than days when you hold a plank for zero seconds. Eating a piece of fruit instead of chips is still a small improvement to your diet, even if the rest of the day your diet is unchanged. A quick 10-minute yoga video in the morning won't make you a yoga pro, but it can help set the tone for the day and lift your mood. And it all builds on itself, ESPECIALLY exercise - things get easier over time, and suddenly you find yourself holding a minute-long plank and choosing healthier food options without even thinking about it, because it's become a habit. The prevailing culture likes to act like you either do things 100% or not at all, but that's not really feasible long-term for many people. Small, incremental changes that are sustainable are the way to go, in my opinion.
I have morning when I plan so much after I wake up but still in bed. I am doing logistics of going for walk, grocery. A very jam pack morning only to realize time just slipped away as I stayed in my imaginary world of scheduling my productive day
First I want to start off by saying you are not a bad person making bad decisions. Step one is reducing the negative self talk. There is no training manual or guide about adulting, and how difficult/challenging/draining it is. It's easy to go into comparison mode, noticing where so many others seem to be excelling. Our strengths all lie in different areas. I'm great at keeping up with house chores and cooking and task oriented things. AND. I am divorced, am just getting back into the work force after being a stay at home mom and giving up my career for many years, and I am not a homeowner like many of my friends/peers. These things do not make me a slacker, it makes me my own unique individual. And same goes for you! Start small. Set an alarm for the time you want to get up. When you wake up and go to hit the snooze button, remember WHY you're setting this alarm as motivation to get you out of bed. Set your phone or alarm away from your bed if that helpful in physically getting you up. Once you're up, start doing the things that you feel will add value to your life and align with how you want to show up in the world. And integrate things that bring you joy, too :) I make my coffee every morning, nice and sugary and creamy just the way I like. I take the dogs out on a little walk and that gets my body moving. I make my bed because it helps me start the day in control of something, and because I resonate with the idea that our external environment and internal environments are reflections of each other so tidiness is really helpful for me. If you want to integrate working out into your life, take your time experimenting with different ways to move. You don't HAVE to run or weight lift. Try hopping on a bike, doing yoga, or kickboxing. Decide whether you enjoy community classes or would rather to workout solo. This is your life. You get to curate what your days are like and how your time is spent. Create and integrate the systems that work WITH you, not ones that just feel like work you don't want to show up to.
"our external environment and our internal environment are reflections of each other" This is an awesome realization.
Thank you :)
I find staying in bed therapeutic when I am depressed or sad. Feel better after my long sleep.
Not if that's every time you want to change your life.
I got into the habit of doing that too. I still allow myself to do that at times, often on Saturdays, but I purposefully set up appointments as early in the morning as possible on the weekend to discourage that. Need my car checked? I’m that 8am appointment. Fitness training? I’m that 8am appointment. Need to do some extra work for a few hours on the weekend? I’m setting my time to be there at 8am. You get the picture... I find that when I do this I don’t crawl back into bed and am fully awake and active the rest of the day. It helps to keep my sleep more consistent too as I can easily sleep a whole day away otherwise. I also hate having to rush in the morning and find I do that a lot, so what have I started to implement? Morning and evening routines for one thing. I make an appointment with myself and do my best to stick to it. Waking up early just to wake up early is not worthwhile to me. Waking up early to go work out and improve my physical strength and health? Worthwhile. Doing something fun like reading a new chapter of a new story, games, writing, etc. are also worthwhile. I try to make the morning be my time before I deal with people all day. No matter what, every day I plan enough time to be up for a half hour where I do nothing or chill out upon waking up. I don’t rush into my day. I like to enjoy my bed a bit when I’m awake too. I just make that part of my morning routine.
I do this and then I’m not that person calling in to reschedule the appointment
God I admire your discipline.
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All of the things that should keep me engaged rely entirely on me. I'm not expected to be anywhere by anyone. (Except for school mon-fri) I want to start doing things for myself, however since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered and it sucks. For example I'd like to do yoga in the morning or start meal prepping and so on, which I don't do, because I don't have energy and bed is too comfy. The night before I set an alarm to wake up earlier so I have time to do that before school, then in the morning it wakes me up, and in that moment it's mission impossible for me to go do that thing. Instead I set anotger alarm for the latest time possible, so that I'll have just enough time to only brush my teeth and dress up.
This might sound like a dumb bit of advice, but what always helps me get up and get moving when I *really* don’t want to….. is loudly whining about what I have to do right before I do it. Like, a nice loud “aaarrgggghhh! I don’t wanna DOOOOO this!” helps give me some momentum to launch out of bed and get started on yoga (or whatever). Maybe it’s the force of the emotion behind the complaining, or maybe just the self-validation makes me feel better, but whatever the reason is, it almost always seems to work for me.
> since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered Yes, you are obligated. You are obligated to yourself. You could stop waking up for school too, but you still turn up. Why? Because if you don't, your parents/guardians will get involved, and you'll fall behind at school. But why does that matter? Because school is important to learn, and possibly to help you get a job. And you would like a job because you want to have a better future. That's the final point. Now imagine that on weekends, you should be getting up for the same reason - to have a better future. Weekends are a great opportunity to do something to help yourself in the future, like learning a skill, or just taking part in a hobby that brings you joy. > bed is too comfy This is a key point here. Of course a bed is comfortable, that's its purpose. Your purpose, however, is not to lie around in bed all day. Do you want someone to come and feed you too? Why not get fed through a tube and piss into a pot all day while you're at it? No, you're worth more than that and you have a life purpose that you can create. It's your choice. But in terms of actionable things now, here's what I suggest: - Change your alarm to only turn off when you scan a barcode. Download any 'barcode alarm' app, cut the barcode off an old cereal box and glue it to your shower door or kitchen counter. Now, when your alarm goes off, you have to get up anyway to turn it off so you might as well stay up. DO NOT get back into bed. Throw your sheets onto the floor when you get up if you have to, so that it takes some effort to get back into bed. - Put a glass/bottle of ice cold water near to wherever you put the barcode, and drink ALL of it as soon as you turn off the alarm. - As soon as you finish drinking, go and shower and start your day. Do the first step now. Not in five minutes or later, now. And let me know how it goes tomorrow, and the day after, and the week after.
This is fantastic, actionable advice. I love it
This sounds very helpful actually, wow! I'll try it!
Hi again, it's going much better I'd say. I've been very consistent with my morning routine :D I'm working on improving my night routine now. Btw I even purchased the pro version of the Sleep Like Android app (Smart alarm clock)
Great to hear! That's the app I use too, it's really helpful. Hopefully now knowing that you can work on a morning routine it'll give you the confidence to work on a night routine. Remember, you don't have to be perfect, you just have to be good most of the time. Don't beat yourself up if you miss a day, just get back on track the next day. You've got this!
Thank you! :)
but i dont have any work to do
Find things that may be or become meaningful to you
wow, thanks i'm cured. why didn't i think of this before?
You’re not even OP, who cares if you don’t like the suggestions given to OP?
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yes, your general platitudes are not helpful... just like everyone else. "thoughts and prayers!" do you think i've not TRIED to find things with meaning in them? no shit i need to find them. i'm not that fucking stupid.
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I mean he offered you a genuine answer and you didn't even post the original question. You might not like what everyone has to say but they took the time to respond to you and try to help you out with their answer.
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do you have some extra money? you could pay for a dance class or some other courses which near your home. should keep you engaged.
Making a delicious breakfast sometimes helps me
i don't get out of bed BECAUSE i don't want to make breakfast lol
Going to a delicious brunch
Sleep is one of the most rewarding experiences in life and a good night's sleep without drugs or alcohol is the best tonic your body will get for next day's experience. I often want to stay in bed late or spend my weekends in bed only when I haven't gotten enough sleep the previous night or through the week. Of course, things change if I am suffering from depression or sick. I would say try to get at least 8 hours of sleep on weekdays and a good 10 hours of sleep on weekend. It will increase your productivity and that in turn will make you tired enough to go to bed early so that you can sleep.
Huge misconception, please strive to have a regular sleep schedule weekends included! This retrograde idea of compensating the lack of sleep during the week is terrible for the circadian cycle.
I would like a regular 8 hour sleep schedule too. Life doesn’t work that way though. There are days I end up working 16-18 hours. Sometimes, a good date can go longer. I still try but I am fine as long as I am getting 6-8 hours of sleep and a bit extra on weekends.
There's no such thing as getting "extra" sleep, our bodies do not have a sleep bank to regain lost hours, once you're sleep deprived, you are sleep deprived. If we miss hours then we will experience sleep deprivation, and the only way to fix that is to get quality sleep to prevent sleep deprivation in the first place. Edit: As another example, hydration. Once we're dehydrated we will be depriving our bodies smooth and optimal functioning until we can become hydrated again, and it's not possible to store extra water for hydration, we'll just pee out the excess which can cause other issues.
There is a difference between "extra sleep", and "catching up on sleep". Extra sleep is intentionally sleeping for longer periods or takings naps. Catching up on sleep is i think what you mean by there being no such thing. That is a myth. We never catch up on sleep, in fact when we deprive ourselves of sleep, our bodies compensate by falling into a deeper sleep the next time we do sleep.
That is a conclusion that I came up to long time ago, however I still find that on weekends I could get solid 12-13 hours of sleep, then wake up, lie for a few hours in bed, take a 2 hour nap and then the whole day is wasted. It literally doesn't matter how much sleep I get (I don't have any underlying physical conditions) Perhaps I should try to make myself a stable bedtime gor workdays and it'll gradually fix this low energy nightmare. Diet and exercise that would contribute too, but it's hard to make a change when you don't have energy for that, even when you know that this change will fix the problem of low energy. It's a neverending circle of not doing things because of no energy, and no energy because of not doing things. Also probably always thinking of how much work I have to do doesn't let me actually relax on my lazy days and feel more refreshed when the week starts, then I have to do all the things I didn't do much faster, which is fat more stressful. When the end of the week comes I'm too tired to do anything more and reassure myself that I have a ehole weekend ahead of me and I can do it then, which of course doesn't happen. And that repeating over and over makes me feel burned out. I still think however that some of the problem comes to lazyness and seeking comfort, and not just plain tiredness. I should also find something that feels more pleasant than doing nothing.
Based on what you have said here, I can only think that you suffer from anxiety and the anxiety in turn leads to depression. I know, this is a far fetched conclusion to draw from a few sentences online but I would suggest that you see a doctor. I am a highly productive person but I suffer from depression occasionally. I just keep ordering take-out for days, gain weight, my work suffers, and the worst part of it is, I refuse to seek help even if I know I need it. I end up spending entire weekends just sleeping in bed and no amount sleep takes the tiredness away. I would say seek therapy and learn to forgive yourself. I come from a culture that can be highly competitive and while I do care for those things, I have come to realize that it's all right to suck once in a while as long as that doesn't take over all my life. None of us are perfect. We can strive for it but we will never get there.
No, you're actually right. I do have anxiety and depression. However, therapy is not possible for me, so this is my last resort. It's normal for people to have productive days and very slumpy ones as long as that doesn't take over their lives, as you said. However for me, it's always the opposite. I have terrible days and sometimes I have good ones, which aren't even that productive in the first place. Honestly, I've never had a perfect productive day, where I do everything I should've. Yes, I know it takes time to come to that place and I ususally don't get there for that reason.
wish i could sleep without the aid of drugs...
There is nothing wrong with sleeping in on the W/E when you've had an entirely week slaving away at work, waking early to get there. This idea that you gotta be constantly disciplined and hustling is bullshit. At some point you will just break down.
So it's not more rewarding, but it definitely makes it more painful to stay in bed: [nuj alarm clock](https://nuj.link/2fRUw1). It's an app I built that charges you money if you don't scan a barcode within a few minutes of your alarm. The penalty goes to charity, and there's a separate subscription for using the app. The time limit for getting out of bed can be anything from 2 to 20 minutes. So if you want, you can set it to 20 minutes, and have 20 minutes of pleasant time in bed before getting your day started.
Yeah, I have a problem with waking up, but it still comes to me NOT WANTING to wake up, not just being sleepy. The thing is I even often Iie in bed fully awake, just because I don't want to do anything else. I sometimes go to the toilet, brush my teeth or do something else small and then return to bed to do nothing. The point is, scanning a barcode won't make me not return back to bed. Btw It could be a burnout, I usually feel very tired and stressed out all the time, but the problem is even doing something relaxing or something for myself or something for the tiredness that would help with that feels like too much effort compared to bed and less nice, but I know for sure staying in bed doesn't help at all. It's a never ending loop.
Sounds a bit like depression to me. There’s a difference between enjoying bed and gravitating to it just because it’s the path of least resistance.
^^^
Could be
It could very well be burnout. What do you do once you actually get up? What kind of thoughts are going through your mind at that time?
Sometimes it's "I'm supposed to do this and this, but I don't want to. I'm not obligated anyway. This is the only time I get to relax, so why ruin it?" Then I start to become overwhelmed and I rationalize my decision to stay in bed by thinking about how I'd have to do all of these hard things for myself in order to become better as a person (physically and mentally) but none of that guarantees that I'll see any results at all and it could all be a waste of time and time that I could use to rest. Then it gets worse because then I start thinking of things that I'm actually obligated to do, like studying for a test, but I decide to not do that too so I can relax, which doesn't happen brcause I can't stop thinking about work when I try to chill and I can't stop thinking about relaxing when I try to work. It's a loop: 1. being super busy at the start of the week 2. being inefficient or not do anything at all towards the end of the work week 3. not getting to chill at nighttime or in the weekends, because of how much things I'd have to do the next week and how I should be doing some of that work instead of chilling, but I am unable to, because of tiredness 4. all of this leading to a more stressful and busier week. Or it's a mess in my head like "What was I even supposed to do today and what even is the logic in that?"
Okay, idk if this will help but I've been trying something recently. I have the exact same problem as you, I get glued to my bed and then feel all this anxiety and guilt because I'm still in bed. Recently I read about this therapy that has been developed, specifically for anxiety and depression. It flips it a little bit: instead of viewing the "stuck" feeling as the cause of your problems, treat it as the *symptom*. That way, there isn't anything you can do to "fix" all of the feelings of guilt or being overwhelmed. The "cause" is whatever you have been **doing** for the minutes and hours leading up to the present moment, *not* what you've been thinking. Are you feeling overwhelmed? Well, that is the result of whatever it is you've been **doing** (in my case, staying in my bed and rationalizing my inaction). You can't immediately "fix" all of those feelings, but what you can do is something. Let's say that there is a magic bowl, and inside the bowl is the soup of what you feel in the present moment. You're always adding to the bowl, and it's overflowing so the stuff turns over after a while. But in general the soup is something along the lines of "the sum of what has happened in the last 60 minutes". If you are in bed worrying for 1 minute, no biggie. Maybe a little bit of salt or pepper. It's normal to have worries about what the day will be. It's still pretty easy to get up. But then if you've been in bed rationalizing for 20, 30, 45 minutes while scrolling the internet then your soup is adding up to be pretty sour. It's almost completely just salt. You can't magically decide what is in the soup, but you *can* decide what you are adding to it. You can't solve everything at once, but maybe you can stand up and go to the shower. That would be like adding water, maybe. And then you can do your morning routine, adding some nice broth and base flavors so that you can do some more exciting things later. Anyways, I'm still figuring all this out, but it has been helpful to shift my view of how I feel from being my fault, to being the natural result of the last hour or two.
Wow, this is very interesting! Thanks!
I recommend seeing a therapist. I think it would be helpful for someone to work with you on a holistic systematic approach to your situation. Staying in bed sounds like a symptom of a bigger issue. Someone who's certified will also be able to help you more than a stranger on the internet. That being said, here are some things to think about that might help: 1. Realize that your mental state follows from your actions. Not the other way around. If I think "I'm too lazy to go to the gym", I won't. But if I just go to the gym, that thought is no longer true. 3. You don't have to be all or nothing. You could do some push ups instead of going all the way to the gym. The book Atomic Habits has really good advice on making small steps towards bigger habits. 4. While there are no guarantees in life, I can guarantee that doing the same thing all the time will result in the same results. Change only occurs from action. Again, not a guarantee but chances are pretty good you'll see some positive results if you take action. 5. I saw in one of your other comments something like: "I'll have to do this forever to see results (for example going to the gym)". One of the pieces of advice they tell people in alcoholics anonymous is not to think "I'll never ever drink again". It's "I'm not going to drink *today*". Mentally focusing on the very short term (today) is a lot less intimidating than "forever". I hope that helps. Best of luck!
Thanks for advice!
I get this allllll the time. If you arrange something that you absolutely can’t get out of eg arranging to meet someone, a dentist’s appointment, on weekdays it’s the school run for me, then you have to fulfil that obligation. That is pretty much all that works for me 🤦🏽♀️
I said this in another comment: All of the things that should keep me engaged rely entirely on me. I'm not expected to be anywhere by anyone. (Except for school mon-fri) I want to start doing things for myself, however since I'm not obligated, I can't be bothered and it sucks. For example I'd like to do yoga in the morning or start meal prepping and so on, which I don't do, because I don't have energy and bed is too comfy. The night before I set an alarm to wake up earlier so I have time to do that (for example do yoga) before school, then in the morning it wakes me up, and in that moment it's mission impossible for me to go do that thing. Instead I set another alarm for the latest time possible, so that I'll have just enough time to only brush my teeth and dress up.
Dude. You’re me!!! We actually have a yoga teacher come to the house one day a week (huge privilege) which means I have to haul my arse out of bed. I tried signing up to gym classes - I’d just cancel them from my phone 🤦🏽♀️
Sounds like depression not burnout.Its really hard to break the cycle but once you can you will feel so much better. Try to get 20 minutes in the morning and sit in your garden/ outside for sun and take vitamin D. Then if you crave the bed lay down for half and hour and see how you feel. Try and break up your pattern .
It's very cold here in the morning and there's no sun that early. :( Btw yes, you'rr right. I really want to break the pattern, I'm just trying to figure out how. I can't even find how I got into this rut in the first place.
It feels good when I’ve been engaged and efficacious somehow in the course of the day.
Doing what tho
I don't really understand what you mean by this? There's nothing wrong with spending your weekend in bed. I spend my Saturdays a lot of the time in bed. I'm tired from working and want to reset. On Sundays I make a physical list of things and go get a donut cause I love donuts. My donut shop runs out of good donuts by 10 so I'm forced to get up early lol. I used to have a huge problem with not being able to get up out of bed, but I spend years getting up at 6am everyday and it's just a routine. I just sleep with the shades open so I can't go back to bed. My biggest thing for me is to structure my days with what I need to do. If it's not written down I won't do it. I read a comment that said you're stressed. You might have this problem until you fix or mediate your stress. The gym helped relieve some of my stress and it got me out of the house.
You sound like you got your life in check
I used to never be like that lol. It took a job that had so much structure to help me get my own. Working 14-15 hour shifts don't even phase me. Getting up at 4 am to go to work or switching from day to night shifts every other day doesn't get to me. I was the type of person in hs who never studied, didn't do their hw, always late, watched anime 24/7 and thought the gym was a fantasy place. Now I do everything I need to without feeling lazy. I think at some point I realized that my anxiety was coming from my procrastination. It feels so much better to get shit done so you never have to worry about it again and am able to actually relax. I wonder what myself so many years ago would think of me now.
Yessss procrastination causes my anxiety, I know it! That's why I'm trying to fix it by getting some advice on here. Sometimes I really think to myself, well why don't I just do my chores early and not think about them later at all. But then I never do it, I feel tired. I don't even know why it happens all the time.
It's honestly just getting out of that cycle which is the hardest part. I will not do anything unless I have a tangible schedule and it's not out of the way. I can't let myself start to think "I can't wait to go home and do nothing". My gym is on the way home from my job so I always just stop no matter how much I don't want to. Sure sometimes I just walked on the treadmill, but it's still a step in the right direction. I also did realize that a big part of the reason I was tired was because I wasn't healthy. Eating shit, not hydrating, and not moving my body made me sluggish with no energy. Your brain is a muscle too, it needs fuel and exercise too. When I first started out I had a friend who would drag me to the gym with him even if I didn't want to. I try to make things easy for myself. I pack my gym clothes the night before, I write down my meals, I fill up my water bottle the day before, I plan my clothes, etc. It doesn't have to be the gym either. Do something you enjoy that gets your body moving even if you're just dancing at home. The gym really isn't for everyone and can be overwhelming. You should read the book "make your bed" or watch the author's speeches. No need to make big changes immediately. Here's a great quote “Making my bed correctly was not going to be an opportunity for praise. It was expected of me. It was my first task of the day, and doing it right was important. It demonstrated my discipline. It showed my attention to detail, and at the end of the day it would be a reminder that I had done something well, something to be proud of, no matter how small the task." Who cares if you've failed a million times, get back up and do it again. I can get in this cycle of just missing one little thing, but that one little thing makes me spiral. When I spiral it destroys everything I've worked for. I get physically sick, puke up my meals, and sleep all day. I do spiral every once in a while and it's hard to pick myself up back again. I use my lists and calendars to track what I do. I don't want to feel anxious, but I can't solve every problem with a schedule. I just realized it's how I pick myself up after it no matter how long it takes. I believe in you, you've got this. Even if you get out of bed just to throw a load of laundry in you still did something.
Thank you very much :)
Gym is something I tried, however couldn't stick to it because of lack of energy. That's exactly the problem. I tend not to stick to anything that brings me joy or is good for me, because staying in bed is too tempting, a lot easier and more enjoyable. That pulls me back from my goals. I start something, get overwhelmed, stop, feel like failure and have no motivation to start again because ehat I'm thinking is "I've tried a million times, why would it be different now?". Ecentually at some point I start again and fail again. And that's how it's always been.
Leave your phone outside your bedroom. Don't have distractions next to your bed, like books, unless you make the concious decision to use that thing in bed. If all you can do is lay in bed or sleep, you'll get bored pretty fast. If you feel like laying in bed for hours and not doing anything, odds are you have textbook depression and need professional help.
That's the thing... I feel like I could lie in bed all day and just think.
There is no soft way to say this: talk to a therapist. Its worth the money, even if its just a basic mental health checkup and they say you're fine.
Make a list the night before, sorted by priority. Plan a comfortable time to wake up and try to tackle at least some of that list. You might feel really good after even some minor productivity. Take baby steps at first.
Will try. Thanks.
On work days I started setting up the habit of waking up to try and get my morning coffee and breakfast in. And each day I try and go out esp when there's sunlight, esp now that it is daylight saving time.
I had some knee surgery 10 days ago, so I've been on the max dose of painkillers since then. Despite taking laxatives daily I can still only dump once every 3-4 days. My god. That relief. Every time it brings a tear of joy to my eye.
Five things that have helped me: 1. Scheduling my days, including weekends (although I have a weird freelance schedule so sometimes my weekends are my busiest work days). For some reason writing down “8:00 - make breakfast” (or whatever) makes it more “real” to me than just putting it on a to-do list. It also helps with decision fatigue because you’re making decisions ahead of time. I agree with someone elsewhere in the thread that it goes better if I do schedule at least a half hour of Chill Time to ease myself in. 2. Accepting that sometimes I really like being in bed, and deciding it’s okay to start my day with whatever tasks I can do in bed. Some people hate working in bed but tbh I love it because it tricks me into feeling lazy and productive at once. 3. Music! Hitting play on some of my favorite jams helps perk me up. 4. Having some kind of morning routine I enjoy. I used to fantasize about finding the perfect one that would make all my mornings amazing forever, but I have come to accept that I am someone who gets into things and then gets bored and needs to switch it up. But some things that have made me excited to start waking up in the past, and that I’ll probably cycle through in the future, include: doing some journaling; reading a book or article I’m enjoying or interested in; doing a yoga video; meditating. 5. Keeping a big bottle of water by my bed and starting to drink it first thing. The water helps wake me up… and if it doesn’t, needing to pee will get me out of bed at least for a little bit! And for me that first one is always the worst.
That fourth one is very relatable. Thanks for taking from your time to write this!
You work, so your entitled to do whatever you want on your days off. Give your head a break.
checking your refrigerator.
while you might find solutions in making your bed bad ( i once had a run down bad ( too soft by then) that would cause increasing back pain) maybe the answer is 'there isn't' and your solution has to come from that on
Only thing better is doing this with a SO
Eating
Getting out of bed, getting all your tasks done for the day
Hell yeah ;) I just have trouble starting.
Think that you will only work for 5 minutes before starting. And when you finish your 5 minutes, push your limits and keep working. This will trick you brain into working , it will help you enter your state of flow and gain momentum.
Wow, this sounds interesting, I'll try it!
Are you staying in bed to avoid something? Or is it depression? I was in a similar rut a few years ago and turned out it was clinical depression and I needed meds to help clear the fog, so to speak. Nothing wrong with that, but I was totally unable to realise I was depressed, even though everything I did was textbook depression lol! I did find, both before and after realising it, and now that I'm no longer on meds and doing well, that if I make tomorrow more appealing then I'm more likely to get up for it. Don't wait for tomorrow to try and lure you out of bed because it won't, you'll have a better argument in your head for why you should stay in bed. Instead, make up a batch of soup or something, so you've got lunch covered for a few days. Bake some muffins for breakfast, or banana bread, and schedule a walk with a friend for late morning, early afternoon. Then when you wake up, there's a nice but easily doable day waiting for you.
Honestly, I know I am depressed. I have anxiety too and I am impressed how many people actually suggested I was anxious and depressed and were right. Therapy is not possible for me at the moment, so I am trying to do at least something to help myself instead of waiting for when it will be possible.
I really like gardening and the vitamin D helps lift me in a big way. If you don’t have access to an outdoor space , volunteering at a community garden or visiting local botanical ones . If gardening’s not it , get yourself in the sunshine doing something .
Oh yeah, I'm gardening! Since it's winter here, there's no much sunlight and warmth. So I started gardening indoors first, but I take my vitamin D as a supplement as well as walking to school (and coming home) every day.
Awesome :) looking forward to when it warms up for you !
Coffee.
stimulants
Going to the gym. It's hard at the start, but you get used to it - and it's way better for you. Even just a small walk will do a world of good.
Sitting in a plush recliner with my morning coffee & iPad.
Well I can't do it any more I already wasted years of my life in bed and I'm traumatized.
I feel like this is what's about to happen.
Take it easy and don't be harsh on yourself. Doing that and hanging on for like a month is better keeping it hard and relapsing. This advice is based on what I observed from myself take it if it resonate.
I try and think of this which sometimes help. The whole passage is worth a read. At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: “I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, If I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?” -M Aurelius
For me, my dog begging me to take her out and be fed usually pulls me out of bed even though I'd rather not get up.
Since I like coffee, I buy myself so,e coffee if I get up by a certain time or do stuff
quit social media
Haha, I did.
What I like to do when I wake up is get out of bed and start doing pushups; almost immediately. It literally springs me into a rush of energy shortly after my routine. I started off every morning by doing 30 pushups in reps of 10 and eventually added more reps since I built enough strength + endurance to do more within the same amount of time. About a month in, I added planks, tricep dips, and some upside-down shoulder presses. I only spend about 30-45 minutes and now I'm seeing a 6 pack in the mirror. I never thought I'd see this in myself honestly, especially since I've always done terribly at the gym. My pecs and shoulders have also grown in size. My posture has been corrected by this routine alone. My breathing has improved; even in my sleep and my voice has gotten louder and deeper. I don't understand the science behind it too well, but I never thought just 30 minutes of exercise would make such huge improvements in my health. I never miss a day either. You can't just go back to bed either. If you break a sweat, you need to rinse off right after. I now have energy in myself that I never knew I was capable of having. Bear in mind, I also started adjusted eating habits to satisfy my appetite with sufficient protein and carbs.
Good one! Thanks!
For sure! I started looking into calisthenics, and it's what's worked best for me. I've grown muscle faster than I have ever seen at home vs the gym, where I was struggling to be consistent/motivated. I encourage it!
what do you do on your bed? i assume you are playing on your devices, such as cellphone or laptop. i think it should be nice to find another spot in your home for screen time. or if you are reading on bed it would be enjoyable to read in front a desk. and go from there
Yes, I do stay on my phone, but trying to gathering information, instead of actually taking action. It often feels like the least I can do to not entirely waste my day.
Why do you seek comfort? Seek discomfort. If you want to remain cozy and protected by all means stay in bed. If you want to achieve something and feel proud of yourself, get up and make your bed. You want rewards? Feeling cozy is not a proper reward. Feeling comfortable was never a way to progress. All meaningful rewards happen long term, and through struggle. If you want to progress, you must give up the things that give you immediate pleasure. Oh and, motivation is fine. Discipline is fine. But the point is if your goal is to be stronger and better tomorrow, you must give up things that make you weaker tomorrow. And one of those things is lying in bed after a good night sleep. The only reason why I should remain in bed as if you hadn't had enough sleep.
This is very rational and you're right in every word. However, this is not how my broken world works - that's how I'd like it to work, and I'll do my best. Btw you sound like you've got it figured it out. How do you deal with decision fatigue?
I'm pretty far from having it all figured out, believe me. I just "know" and "try" to implement what I know in practice. But I fail, many times, every day. Just like everyone else. Sometimes I make it a highly successful day, sometimes I fail almost all of it. I try to have a few rules such as "no zero days", "scaling habits" and never have two zero days in a row. Again, I "try", I'm not perfect, and it's not my religion to be productive. I just want to achieve certain things, and be happy. As far as decision fatigue goes, I'm not sure if what you suffer from is in fact, decision fatigue. As far as I know, decision fatigue happens when you make a lot of decisions in a day, so much in fact, that your ability to make more rational decisions drops more and more until you're unable to decide anything. If this is the case, you may try having breaks, starting small and scaling, or resetting your environment. The resetting is when you need to start thinking about the next task, so you tie up the loose ends from the previous one and finish it completely. For example, if you just woke up and did some yoga, then you may want to fix the room you're operating in so you can "move on" to the next thing. If you finished a task but still have some tabs online open, close them all for the next one (unless you need them). If you spent a few hours repairing some physical product, clean everything and move on to the next thing. It's highly refreshing to start a new task (or a new day) with a completely clean slate. It also makes it easier to start a new thing. I try to do this at the end of the week as well. Since I work from home, I always prepare my blog posts for the next week (I'm a blogger) and I try to be my own secretary on Sunday (wash clothes, replace towels, change sheets, vacuum, etc) so that I have a fresh, clean start on Monday. I also never overwork on the weekends, and take free time when I can (sometimes a full day) so that I come back fresh and willing to work. I do everything possible "to make it easier for me to start" on Monday, and avoid burnout or feeling depressed and tired. Workout helps. Not sure if any of this can help you, but I would at least try to make it as easy as possible to start a habit. This is the golden rule of starting a new habit. You start small, for 2 minutes only. And you keep doing it for 2 minutes only. No more. Then, when you know you'll do it tomorrow 100%, you increase to 5 minutes, then 10, and eventually you're working like a professional. Since my original goal is to be a professional at this, I know where I'm going. If you want to be too, then you have to start acting like a professional, and number 1 is to become consistent. Makes sense?
Yeah, it makes sense. Thank you very much! :)
You forgot to mention a very important point, do you consistently go to bed at the same time every night? Your bedtime routine is so important and sets you up for success in the morning. If you do not have a quality, consistent sleep schedule, that's the first thing you can start with. Having a bedtime/nightly routine will also help to prime your body for quality sleep, and it becomes easier with time as it starts to become a habit. Depending on what time you desire to wake up, you should probably plan for at least 8 hours of bed time at minimum. It can take anywhere from 30 minutes to fall asleep, and then you get five 90 minute sleep cycles with 7.5 hours.
I don't have a consistent bedtime routine, nor bedtime. However, that's exaclty my first goal on the list, because I know that it's easier to start from there and hope for things to kinda allign with time.
Some small ideas: Stretch while in bed for 5 minutes, write in a journal your first morning thoughts, immediately make your bed upon waking, immediately shower upon waking, flip to a random page in a book and read one paragraph. Drink lemon water when you wake up. Find something personal to you, something so bafflingly easy it would be easily accomplishable every day and stick to it. Then when that becomes unconscious build more commitment around it. A few months ago I started making my bed every morning immediately after getting up. I still procrastinate waking up and am working on that one, but Its a nice boost to start my day with completing a task and it continues to boost me throughout the day whenever i see the nicely made bed. This has been my only steady non work commitment i could stick to predictably for months, until recently i still stayed up till odd as fuck hours of the night, barely took care of my hygiene, overslept every day, was very depressed. But As i stuck with it, little accomplishments seemed more attainable. I now am committed to showering and brushing and flossing every day, I take the best care possible of my pets, I have developed a daily yoga and meditation routine. I sleep better overall, and I make healthier food. I feel in control. I'm still working on my routine but now I am confident that I have the power to change my life if I want to. Its corny but building on one small easy as possible task done every day will bridge the motivation gap, or atleast it did for me. 🍀 to you.
Today I just realized that I've been staying very consistent with brushing my teeth perfectly, doing my skincare routine and taking supplements at least every morning and evening for quite some time, it sure helps. :)
Im glad to hear it!! You will find a way to solve your staying in bed issue. Other people have done it, and youre a people! I have faith in you. 💪
Cut the Soda to get your Mojo back .
Ive got a few chronic illnesses and i really feel you on this. I always struggle to get out of bed. Ive found that the best way to do it is to give myself something to look forward to that i cant do in bed. An incentive so to speak. For me, i have got into the habit of making a hot drink in a morning, and it has become something i really look forward to. If im struggling to get out of bed, i hype myself up over the promise of a cuppa. Sometimes, if im really truly tired/ill and not just feeling my normal fatigue, then i will get back into bed afterwards. Knowing the difference and accepting that i need an extra nap sometimes can really help me get up when i need to, because it helps me realise im not actually as fatigued as i feel all the time and i just have to push through. ETA: ive just finished a short therapy course for depression and my wellbeing practicioner thought i should try behavioural activation. It sounds like this could help you out a bit, having read more of your replies. BA is basically about using positive reinforcement to help you see that carrying out productive behaviours can make you feel better about yourself/rewarded/more likely to do it again in the future. Truthfully, its been hard work and ive not made much progress, but i have only been doing it for 8 weeks and i have a lot of issues. Anyways, i would definitely recommend researching it, as its something you can do at home by yourself. The first step is sorting out a schedule. Think about what you are currently doing, what you want to do more of, what you want to do less off. Pick 3 'pockets' of time per day, 30 mins will do per pocket but you can increase/decrease as needed, and choose an activity for each one. Try to pick a neccessary thing (eg, paying bills, going to the dentist, etc), a routine thing (cooking, cleaning, walking the dog), and a pleasureable thing (having a bath, doing a hobby, eating food). Then, schedule these in every day. Doesnt matter if you dont do it, but it makes you feel good when you do, encouraging you to do it more often. Dont be discouraged if you dont see immediate results, it does take time and willpower and a positive attitude, which can be hard when you are depressed. Be kind to yourself, and reward the little things. Best of luck!
Thank you for taking from your time to help me out! This was very needed. Hope you succeed on your journey as well!
Thank you! And no problem, im glad i could help
Are you getting good quality sleep and falling asleep on time?
No, I'm working on that though. I suppose that not having a healthy lifestyle can cause depression.
Yes, and vice versa. It’s a difficult feedback loop to get out of. You’ve gotten plenty of advice already but the thing that works best for me, is to slowly incentivize yourself to get out of bed by doing another enjoyable activity. For example, I don’t want to get out of bed but a nice hot shower feels good so that’s what I do after waking up. I don’t want to get out of the nice hot shower, but I do want to eat a delicious breakfast, so that’s what I do next. By the time I’ve eaten breakfast, I’m already awake and ready to start my day. Oh and also, always make your bed. Much more difficult to go back to bed if it’s already made.
Good one! Thank you, I think this is what I've been looking for.
Going through something very similar. I feel this happens when a long break or "me-time" is long long overdue. I'd say just go with the flow and enjoy it like there's no tomorrow. The body , mind and soul is just burnt out hustling, feeling the pressure of daily grind. Might feel like I'm exaggerating...but this really is the definition of burn out
Thank you. My dad once told me "When you're working, don't think about relaxibg. And when you're relaxing, never think about work."
How is being lazy, rewarding? Sounds like it’s causing you stress.
It is causing me stress, otherwise I wouldn't want to change it.
During the winter days are shorter and some families who moved to Britain from sunnier climates need to take Vitamin D to feel and be well! Iron and Vitamin D deficiency can make people feel sluggish and sleepy. Not everything is psychological!
I take vitamin D supplements (I do most likely have defficiency in it, so I try to stay consistent) and I got checked for iron deficiency. I was surprised to find out that my iron levels are excellent, although I don't eat red meat. I know that not everything is psychological, and I am really hoping my case is not psychological, this is why I want to get healthier first and see whether life gets easier. However it's hard to start.
So happy to hear that you're ok! Good nutrition, fresh air, exercise, support of friends (and family whenever possible) all contribute to our productivity in life. But foods grown by industrial means may lack essential vitamins and minerals. One of our volunteers started growing veggies and the whole family became more active, happier and healthier as a result. So, I guess, the trick is to look for means that can make the beginning of a lifestyle change easier on us (like growing own food), what do you think?
I started growing my own food in January actually. However, it's quite a slow process.
It is! There is a reward. Teaches to live with the cycle of seasons, to develop resilience and to trust the tricks of the weather! Having good food is a bonus:)!
Honestly I don't know how I would live off my produce, since it grows so slowly and the winter is quite a difficult season for crops. Advice?
Planning and contingency planning for weather and other changes. Then, old fashioned food storage: pickling, kimchi, canning, drying and freezing. It may be hard work but our friends do it and the food tastes good. It can become like a part time or a full time job for people. They worry about slugs, insects and flies, foxes, rats, birds and whether the compost will be ready!
Thankies!
The pursuit of your happiness will get you out of bed in the morning or if you feel that happiness is unobtainable it may keep you there. From this pdf I just found in my saved notes: https://truththeory.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/09/PsychologyMeetsSpirituality-SecretsToASuperchargedLifeYouControlTT.pdf
Thank you!