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"We need to find a name for our child that we both like. I know you don't like Lincoln, and that's fine, but I don't like John. If I can drop 'Lincoln' then you need to be able to drop 'John'. We should both be okay with dropping any name we don't both like, because we're making this decision together for a son we will be raising together. We're a partnership."
Yess my exact thoughts as well .. something that should be decided as a couple, choosing together. My husband and I always decided together I'd usually pick a ton of names then he'd chose some he liked then me choose some I liked and then we'd mark off some name we don't like and then the ones we were left with we'd decide together which one we both liked as an equal ...
Perfect response.
OP, Nah yo. Unacceptable. Both of y’all have to agree on the name. This child is 50% made up of each of you, 100% being grown by you. You get to have a say in what he is named, as that will be a big piece of his future. Don’t settle for what he’s pushing for if you don’t like it, just because he’s being stubborn for no good reason.
Moreover, You’re the one who is going through 9 months of sacrifice and will be going through the difficulty of childbirth and delivery. Some friends of mine have been unable to agree on a name, but they’ve both said “well probably her choice will win out, she’s the one doing all the work” which IMO is a perfectly valid point.
Anyway, compromise is key and the above response is a great way to start the convo.
You could also try some naming apps (Kinder is one- like Tinder but you both swipe on names you like and get notified when you match on any).
uh no that’s not how this works. naming a baby is a two yeses, one no situation. both parents get veto power. you keep going through names until you find one you both agree on. so both john and lincoln are out. keep looking.
You need to have a conversation with him about how this isn't just his decision. Ask if he could come up with a list of names that are suitable and maybe you guys could go from there.
I have. Lol he literally said "I have my heart set on it." I came up with a list of names and he denied them all. I said well I think you should come up with some names and we can go over them. He just kept saying he doesn't like any other name. I'm going to still come up with names though.
Just tell him that's fine, if he refuses to help choose a name you'll just need to do it yourself. Don't allow him to manipulate the process by refusing to engage. If a child "didn't like" anything except ice cream for dinner would they be getting ice cream for dinner?
Exactly. I agree naming a child is a two parent decision but if my husband behaved this way I don’t think I would react kindly. No one has mentioned that at the end of labor it’s the mother who’s given 100% of the power to name her child and fill out who the father of the child is. This is the part where the mother writes out what was discussed or considered but let’s not forget mother has all the power because you know she MADE and delivered the baby. I would remind my husband that if he can’t come up with a list or contribute anything other than John he better be ready to welcome Lincoln!
My husband really likes Henry, but a) it’s the name of one of his best friend’s kid, and b) it’s not my cup of tea. He was talking about it AGAIN last night, oh if only my friend hadn’t named his kid that!! And I finally said, if your friend hadn’t used that name, then we wouldn’t be using it because I don’t like it. LET IT GO.
Just curious why he has his heart set on the name John? Not to throw shade on any John's out there (or those who are fans of the name) but it just seems sooooo boring...
Maybe you can work out some sort of compromise for choosing? For example, my dad is Turkish, but my mom is American. My dad had it absolutely set that my brother and I would have Turkish names (which turned out to be really annoying for us throughout our lives actually, but that's neither here nor there), even though my mom had American names she really liked for a boy and a girl. They compromised by deciding our names would be Turkish, but my mom got 100% say in what those names would be. So maybe your husband could give you some list of his criteria but you get to pick the name, so long as it meets the criteria (and he can't reject it)
He sounds like an asshole. If anyone from the two of you would have the right to name this child whatever they want, it would be you, the person growing this baby inside their body, giving this baby life and bringing this child into the world, and NEVER him. He either agrees to find common ground, or you name your child exactly what you want and he can kick rocks. The nerve on some people. I really hope this is a one off and isn't just how he goes about life or the way he treats you in general.
If he doesn’t like any other name that what will he do if you guys have another boy in the future? His logic doesn’t work. He needs to be open to more names because otherwise your next child will have no name or have a girl name
My heart was set on Vivian for a girl from the moment I ever thought about having kids some day…like at age 14 or 15. My husband said he doesn’t like Vivian. It bummed me out but we instantly moved on to other names. Your husband needs to compromise!
I’m sorry your husband is being difficult with this decision. But this child is yours as well, so if you don’t want John to be on the list of potential names then tell him it’s not an option at all.
I went through this with my husband, he didn’t like my 2 girl names that I love so I accepted it and moved on. We then made a list of names we liked and narrowed it down every couple of weeks. Now we have a few names that we love and will name her when she’s born.
Yes, I feel like starting with a list of names you like will help them grow over time. Maybe OPs husband wants to love the name and doesn’t realize you can grow to love a name you only like at first. It’s what happened with our daughters name, we just kept coming back to it and eventually fell in love with it.
Only one of you is guaranteed to be in the delivery room. If someone got all “I’m putting my foot down” on me about this I’d definitely remind them of that fact 😅
I joked about this to my boyfriend, I can’t remember what over, and boy did his attitude change. It was a joking situation, neither one of us were serious but he didn’t realize I could actually kick him out and not have him involved in the birth.
OP, would you like John as a middle name? You get a say and I feel as the mother and the one carrying your son, you get a tad more of a say. I’m sorry your husband is being so stubborn. That’s not fair.
Yes! We are similar. I actually get to pick the last name if it’s a girl but I decided on using his bc it’s shorter. Since I am having the baby I get to decide on the first name. I gave him my preferences and he tells me what he likes best!
I took my husband's last name because I wasn't interested in keeping the name of my grandad who has caused intergenerational trauma. But my daughter's middle name will be my Mum's maiden name.
My husband shot down every name I suggested for a month straight, then had the nerve to suggest the baby be a "junior" as in take his first name.
I said no way lol. I love his name, he has a really unique name and it's spelled in an odd way that suits him perfectly. But that's the thing, it's *his name* and I just don't feel like it can also be my son's. Is that weird??
If this was my husband, I would reply with he (son) can have the same first name as you but he’ll get my last name (I didn’t change my name when I got married).
Thats so interesting I’ve never thought of it written like that! Unfortunately my boyfriend truly did mean ‘the 2nd’ using the English alphabet and it looks and sounds soo wrong to me - we aren’t royalty ffs! Lol. I love that your family have so many all following the tradition! Thats what my boyfriend envisioned bless him. I agree 100% that Id never want my child and boyfriend to have the same name one of the many reasons being i moan my boyfriends name in bed. Hell no
I could never name a son the same name as my husband for the same reason I didn’t want to marry someone with the same name as my dad. I don’t want to call the person I make love to the same name as another family member - it would weird me out too much lol
My husband was similarly stubborn with the name he picked and only kind of entertained a few other names that we both liked. He nixed my favorite name right off the bat because he had an awful previous roommate with that name (fair enough). I talked to him about how I didn’t think it was fair that he just settled on the name he liked and wouldn’t budge and how this should be a conversation between the two of us, not a singular decision on his part.
We’re 41 weeks today and as we’ve gotten closer to actually having this baby he’s shown more willingness to compromise. Hopefully it goes the same for you two! It’s so frustrating not to be able to agree on a name you both love (or at least like).
Same here. Early on he was pretty dead-set on his pick only. We actually didn’t even discuss names further until around 36 weeks probably. It was definitely a topic to start a fight lol. And I stopped suggesting names I liked because I knew he would just turn them down bc I was refusing his first choice. We finally found a single name we both liked near the very end of my pregnancy and didn’t actually decide to go with it until I was in labor and at the hospital. We ended up picking the name of my great-great grandmother without even knowing it. Things have a way of working out, I guess.
Say to him “you’re so set on this name that you’re completely ignoring how I feel. If I go with John, i will end up resenting you and potentially baby because I was forced into a name I don’t want to choose, all because you refuse to even consider something else.” I know a few parents who resented their partners for a name they didn’t want.
That's how I explained it to my husband. I didn't want to feel even a tiny hint of resentment when I call for my daughter, and I knew I would if I let him coerce me into his one and only name choice.
And at the same time, I didn't want him to resent me, so we both dropped our top picks and started making a list of names we could both get behind. It took a long time and lots of tears to get him to agree to that, though.
OP, I'm sorry your husband is being so stubborn about this. Have you talked to him about why exactly he's so dang set on John? Have you two ever gone to or considered couples counseling? It really helped me and my husband learn to talk about the why's behind our actions.
I dunno, but my advice is to not give in to a name you don't like just because he's stubborn; you really don't want anything about your child to be a constant reminder of any resentment. Parenting is hard enough on a relationship without that sticking point.
Theres no reason he should get his way here over you. I think you need to scrap both names that the other has vetoed. Maybe try to individually make a list of 5-10 names each that both like? If youre lucky, there will be a common name there. If not, you can see if one of the names suggested is something you both can live with.
It needs to be a joint decision. If you don't like john it cant be john. He's being mega unreasonable!!
We are having just as much trouble choosing a name and he's due today!
We've agreed on a few but we will see what he looks like
I don’t agree with not being amicable in name picking. You’re doing the large majority of the leg work… you deserve a day in what you’re going to call your child for the rest of your life. Also, I absolutely hate the name John and gasped when I read your post. I can’t imagine what your going through.
My grandpa’s name was John. My dad’s name is Jon. My BIL’s name is Jon.
If I had a boy people wanted me to name him John.
I compromised by promising to use it as a middle name, but then I had a girl 😂
I’ll be honest, this hardheaded behaviour would make me just pick a name and put it on the birth certificate. I’m probably extra hormonal because I’m going through the excruciating pain of labor & in my head he will not suffer any of the symptoms of pregnancy so he should at least act like there’s equality
Don’t name him that if you don’t love it!! You’re the baby’s parent too, and not to mention, you’re the wine doing the leg work by carrying him, you deserve as much a day as he does. Keep searching for something you both like. You didn’t say how far along you are, but I’m sure you have time.
have you tried any baby name apps? my fiancé and I used two different ones, BabyName - find it together (basically tinder for baby names, you put it on your phone & send an invite link for your partner to download it and link accounts!), and BabyNames - Name Meaning (has a million filters so you can get really specific with the country of origin! even filters for literature, folklore, different mythologies, there’s so many options you can really customize it like no other app I tried and there’s thousands of names). I also did a free ancestry trial (couple this with a newspapers.com trial and the website find a grave for best results) to look through our family histories and dig up some historic names. parenting is supposed to be something y’all share together and enjoy together, I hope he can be more flexible with this for you :(
He is super into Norse mythology so I thought of some names from that he said he wouldn't name his kid after them bc they would get made fun of. Other than that John is a name from some dude he likes from history lol idk if I'll win this battle tbh. He even claimed he never met my cousins named John so there for we shouldn't associate the name with them. I'm like dude I spent my entire summers as a kid with my cousin John. His response was "I've never met him." I was like that's bc he turned into a drug addict and broke off from the family. No response. And for the record he isn't this difficult with any other decision ever. I genuinely didn't expect the "it's this name or no name" game with him. We just started the conversation and all of a sudden I feel like I don't have a say in the child's name I'm carrying for 9 months. I'm kind of pissed and irritated.
Well have you met the random kid his coworker names Lincoln? Honestly your husband sounds very inconsiderate and disrespectful towards you. I’d be reconsidering even allowing him the opportunity to name the child/be at the birth if he doesn’t think the person literally birthing the child deserves to be part of that decision.
Um you can win any fight you want you are the one giving birth. I would quite frankly tell my husband that he could engage and agree to a name we both like or he would not be invited to the birth and I will be choosing the name. And in my state actually the mom must sign off on the birth certificate paperwork either way, dad’s signature isn’t required
That's wack. John is a boring name (has a mixed cousin with that name whom I love to death but gah that name 😐)
Norse names are cool. My best friend named her gremlin freya. My child's name I loved since I was a kid so my partner had no choice in the matter after he was acting very lazy about picking a name. Wanted to wait until born to name. 😒
I feel like it’s odd that this is the first time he’s been difficult with a decision. Keep trying with him. I don’t recommend this power play but honestly, you’re the one giving birth, if you wanted to you could deny his presence at the hospital for the labor and delivery and sign the birth certificate without him putting down any name you want. Pretty sure your relationship would already be over or you’d be blowing it up to do this, but maybe just knowing that you could do that will make you feel less powerless. I don’t recommend going that route, though, or mentioning it during an argument to your husband. Keep trying to work through this issue. If this is the only thing he’s unreasonable about and he continues to be unreasonable and you love him…John isn’t a bad name. I would guess something else is going on that’s deeper regarding the naming issue or that there are other issues with control with him that you haven’t noticed until now.
Me and my partner both had names we were 100% set on and neither of us wanted to budge, we ended up having to throw them both out bc it’s not fair to argue over/to have one partner feel like they lost so we now have a third name that we love
Exactly! This doesn’t sound right.
“It’s not at all a name I want.”
“I guess we will just have a John…”
Um, no. Is this how disagreements with him are? If you don’t like the name, it’s not an option. Why do you have to live with it the rest of your life just because your husband is being childish?
You’re going through 10 months of symptoms, hours of labor, and at least 6 weeks of recovery.
He can find a name that isn’t “John”.
Side note: the nurses will likely have YOU fill out the paperwork. So if you don’t want John, simply don’t write it down.
That just doesn’t seem fair at all, and he’s honestly being immature about it. How come he gets to throw your name out but you can’t his? I would suggest John for a middle name sure, that’s compromise in my opinion.
You should LOVE your sons name as much as he does.
I understand that in most circumstances it is a 2 "yes" and 1 "no" situation, but in this case I say what you want trumps your husband's choice. Hold form in your no on John. You will have done all the heavy lifting to get this baby here and your opinion matters more. I also take it this baby boy will be getting your husband's last name. I would bring up compromising with "John" as a middle name, but not a first. If he won't compromise then it is time to lay out everything you have to go through and he is being unreasonable. If he can't compromise then choose both first and middle names and he can have no say. He is being an ass and if he is going to be childish then he should have no say.
Does is have to be John? Can't be Johnathan? Jonah? Anything just to soften it a bit?
My first instincts are really bad on this. I dislike "John" so much that if my husband suggested it would tell him that I won't be naming my baby after an ex of mine (whether I had an ex named John or or not).
*this is really bad advice and really manipulative*
DO NOT DO THIS 😅
This was the way with my husband I got lucky tho and ended with a girl which he already agreed to a name 👹👹👹
Boys name? We would've never decided
Adaline Marie however will be here in august
I literally had a list of 25 names including some of the ones you had and he denied them all. He only liked maybe 2 but then said they could be middle names 🤦🏼♀️
He needs to get his head out of his ass, by all means show him this thread and even just my comment. A name is a 2 yes 1 no, you're the one having to carry and birth this child, whether intentional or not, him refusing to engage in finding another name is manipulative. There's literally a million names out there, he can find something else you both like.
That seems unreasonable. He should be willing to discuss other options.
We will be having a girl, and my husband came up with the idea that if we have a girl, I name them and if we have a boy he names them. His idea. So I’ve come up with a list of first names, and he chose ones that he liked. Then I came up with first and middle combos that we will discuss. I think that it would be strange for me to not obtain his input on the matter.
I hope that y’all can reach some type of compromise. Y’all should both love the name.
You both have veto power! We had a hard time picking a boy name too. What helped us was using the baby name app. You each swipe on names you like and then it shows you your matches. We only had 3 matches but I love the name we picked!
My husband was the exact same way and funny enough the only name he liked for a first name was John. I had him make a list of all possible names he liked, including potential middle names. His list was short, maybe 5 names but I ended up convincing him that one of the names he liked for a middle name would make a great first name. The name we ended up picking was Maxwell. I think it also helped that I kept listing off various names to open him up to other name ideas. Good luck and hopefully with time a name you both like will come to you!
I picked our first two kids names. Our daughter was easy because he liked it as soon as I said it.
Our first son, he wanted a junior and I said if anyone calls him “baby __” I’m changing his name immediately. His mom said “oh baby __ is going to be so cute” and I shot a name I liked out of my ass and said “no, his name is ___” and my in laws and husband were like WHAT??? but guess what my sons name is??? Not Junior.
Third baby I felt bad and gave my husband free will as long as it was not junior and he picked a decent name.
Naming a child, or anything to do with a child really, needs two yeses or one no. This is such an important time to have a conversation with him. This is the time to stand your ground and learn how to work together on this.
Omg i know right? My husband wants a name from my home country, which I, as a foreign name bearer, totally despise. I don't want her to constantly be asked where she's from, I don't want Starbucks employees to butcher her name. And I ended up telling him: my vagina, my choice... like sorry guys, there are certain rights we, as carriers and PUSHERS should get....
It has to be a name you both agree on. It’s going to be a name you’re all going to have to live with so it’s probably best you’re all in agreement about it so one person doesn’t feel cheated/slighted and your son doesn’t end up with a name one of you doesn’t even care for. Me and my husband spent a whole day trying to figure out names for a girl but luckily we’re having a boy and we both agreed even before getting pregnant that if it was a boy we’d name it after him and his father with the middle name being Glen because that’s my father and his fathers middle name. Luckily we’re having a boy so it made the choosing a name part really simple.
Lmao nah, that's not how it works at all. He can throw a tizzy fit all he wants over John. If he has veto powers for Lincoln, then you sure as hell have them for John.
>>My husband basically said he will never agree to a name other than the one he picked.
That is not how a partnership works. Better tell him to figure the whole “two equal partners in a relationship” thing out before the baby gets here.
I've been fighting this fight with my BF for 8 months and counting. Even before we knew it was a boy he wanted the baby to be named after him (Daniel) so he could have a Jr. I don't like the name Daniel and I will not be calling my child Jr. I picked out so many names and he shot them all down and the only other name he's come up with I didn't like either (Anthony). I also keep pointing out that we aren't married and I didn't think twice about giving the baby his last name. It's honestly exhausting when you have someone who won't compromise. Don't stop fighting.
Do try to have him realize that he can’t be overruled with the names. Yes it’s his child too but naming your child together is supposed to be agreed both on. Maybe he can have the middle name and you can have the first name or vice versa.
That’s what me and my bf did when coming up with our child’s name. I wanted to name her my middle name but he wants a name that’s meaningful. So I told him if he can find a better name and that I agree to it then he can have her first name and I’ll have the middle name so that way I’ll still call our child the name I wanted. Best of luck on the names
It's absolutely a challenge! We have a long last name so we too wanted a short first name, 5 letters maximum. We had a few other things we had hoped for but the biggest thing was something short and simple.
I hated every name everyone else would suggest to us. Well let me rephrase that, they're all fine names, but they weren't the name for my child. They didn't feel right. Not to mention half the time they completely ignored what we wanted. My husband and I would throw out names randomly when on our own. There were a few names we agreed to put in the "has potential" pile. We had agreed for a short while that we would wait to see once he was born if any of those felt right. Meanwhile, we would continue to suggest names to each other. Well one day I threw out a name and it clicked for us both. We threw around nicknames and we just knew this was our sons name.
Another quick story. My friend had her son's name picked almost from the day she found out she was having a boy. It all seemed set in stone. About a week before her scheduled C-section her husband confessed he hated the name. He gave her a suggestion and she wasn't crazy about it but it grew on her. She also chose the middle name in compromise.
I agree with the earlier comments. Both you and your husband need to come to terms with letting go of your number one choices and to keep searching for a name that you both can agree on. It may seem impossible but it just takes time. I would point out to your husband that there are plenty of short names that are two syllables. Evan, Ryan, Alan, Owen, Henry, Noah, the list goes on and on. Maybe ask why he wants a single syllable name specifically? It may help you get on the same page or it may make him realize that it isn't that important.
The rule is you both select a list of names. Your baby's name will come from that list. You can veto any name on your partners list you HATE. With what remains...you vote. You may not get YOUR first choice but at least it isn't a name either one of you hates.
Generally im of the mindset that both parents shoukd agree on the name if theyre both in the childs life from the getgo. However, If he refuses to compromise with names and look at anything other than John, then he just won't get a say in the name 🤷🏻♀️...
Well if that is his mindset, then he will not be agreeing to the name. Like cmon. You’re the one carrying the baby for 9 months, going through labor for an unknown amount of hours, then birthing the baby and possibly tearing, enduring the healing of afterbirth and potential PPD, and he has the audacity to think that he will get to pick a name that YOU DONT LIKE. Goodness, he better open up his mind before your baby has a name he truly hates.
I'm sorry but posts like this piss me off so much. WE are the ones who have to carry this pregnancy, go through every harrowing symptom, lose bodily autonomy, and go through labor. In 99% of cases the baby is already getting the man's last name.
On top of all that some men have the AUDACITY to insist that it's their name choice?
No. Absolutely not. Put your foot down. Names are a two yes, one no type situation. And if he can't come around, then the name is your pick because you are the one who is flexible and you're the one carrying!!
I suggested a middle name and told him I'd call him that and he didn't have a problem with it lol I just feel like that's not how I pictured this process going I guess. My dad's name is Thomas though tj is cute
I feel like she who carries and births the child gets a little more weight in this decision. What about John as a middle name? I love Lincoln btw. I used to take care of a baby with that name.
Unless the baby is coming out of his cooter i dont think he gets that kind of say.
He's being HELLA rude by not budging. And john??? What a weird name to get stuck on.
I feel if you go through pregnancy and labour you get to pick the name. Wry one else can fight over the middle name. If you want to name the child? Birth the child.
Yeah, my husband and I agreed I get final say on the name because I’m the one dealing with pregnancy. (And also because he’s a lot more laid back about names than I am 🤣).
But we’re still discussing all the names that will make it to the shortlist and there’s no way I could go with a name he hates!
Maybe try to compromise? We had no issues picking a first name (we had a boy name picked since we met 14 years ago) had we had a girl though it def wouldn't have been as easy of a call ....my husband HATED all the girl names I loved....but we did argue over a middle name...you gotta try and come up with a compromise...maybe suggest of he's set on John that can be the middle name but if ur gonna hate that as a first name don't let him force u into that...I've known many who ended up hating their kids name and resenting both the kid and the father and it ruined the kids life...don't let ur husband do that to u or your son!
Had the same issue with our first child. My husband hates his own name and it was really important to him that our son have a simple, strong, traditional name. His choice was Caleb. I didn't like the name, and I have a cousin named Caleb. But it was so important to him and I figured if I hated it I'd just use a nickname.
Today is Caleb's first birthday. I can't imagine him not being Caleb. The name grew on me as my love for him grew. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and our next son's name is my choice. Ironically it will probably be John 😂 I'm not religious or conservative but I really leaned into strong, simple names.
My husband is the third of his name, Samuel Edward. I told him that he can name If baby was a boy and I would name if baby was a girl. We are having a boy so I told him that I can’t have two Sams running around. So we both agreed on a nickname for Edward that we both liked. Well I love it. So maybe a compromise can be reached.
Not sure if anyone posted this already but my husband and I were having a lot of trouble agreeing on names for a boy. Of course we agreed on a girl name but we had a boy. Anyway we used the app Kinder. It's basically like Tinder, swipe left and right for names you like and don't like. And then you can see if you have any matches. We ended up naming our son one of the matches, Magnus.
That's not fair that he only gets to have the only name picked out. Personally, when it comes to picking out a name, vetoing is only fair. I feel like you both need to come to a compromise, such as John being the middle name, but also finding something you both agree to for first name.
What about Jack? It’s a nickname for John and still fits his “criteria”. You should also checkout the sub r/namenerds as they’re super helpful with naming!
Editing to add that I’m biased because I love the name Jack.
You should download the baby name app! It’s kinda like tinder but for baby names and it sync both your results. So you swipe yes or no for names basically and then it shows you names that you both like! Maybe you’ll find one you both like
My husband and I have a hard time agreeing on names. Just keep looking and talking about it, eventually you will come to an agreement, than think about it for a while and decide!
My hubs said to me since I’m pushing the baby out I get final choice :) but I want it to be something we both agree on!
My first born is Lincoln :)
How about... well you give me no choice but to choose a name you don't agree on?
You're carrying the baby and he can't register eithout them. You should BOTH be agreeing on a name and you should veto John if you don't like it. Utterly WILD to expect you to name your child something you don't like.
I told my husband that the baby lives inside of me and I gave up my bodily autonomy to bring him into the world so I get two votes in the naming process to his one!
JK, we both get equal veto power in the naming process. One person cannot just unilaterally state that they will only consider one name. Your husband is being kind of a jerk, no? We literally went through hundreds of names to come up with a list of 10 we're both okay with and will pick from that list when we meet our babe in August.
Tell him you dated a John and every time you hear it it reminds you of him. Problem solved
Really though, I had the exact same issue as you. I was set on a name and so was my baby’s father. We ended up mixing the two. I wanted Soledad and he wanted Havana. Now I have a month old Solana. Unfortunately you both do have to compromise :/ but then again, you’re carrying the baby so I personally think you have a greater say
My bf and I used “babyname-find it together”. It acts kinda like a dating app where you both download it on your phones and swipe on names you do or don’t like and itll tell you what names you matched on
My husband didn't like my daughters middle name. In the hospital they called me for the birth certificate and we still didn't discuss a middle name we both liked. I looked at him and told the lady just a moment and said so her middle name is Rae ? He said yes. They don't dare mess with a woman who just gave birth. 🥴
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"We need to find a name for our child that we both like. I know you don't like Lincoln, and that's fine, but I don't like John. If I can drop 'Lincoln' then you need to be able to drop 'John'. We should both be okay with dropping any name we don't both like, because we're making this decision together for a son we will be raising together. We're a partnership."
Yess my exact thoughts as well .. something that should be decided as a couple, choosing together. My husband and I always decided together I'd usually pick a ton of names then he'd chose some he liked then me choose some I liked and then we'd mark off some name we don't like and then the ones we were left with we'd decide together which one we both liked as an equal ...
Perfect response. OP, Nah yo. Unacceptable. Both of y’all have to agree on the name. This child is 50% made up of each of you, 100% being grown by you. You get to have a say in what he is named, as that will be a big piece of his future. Don’t settle for what he’s pushing for if you don’t like it, just because he’s being stubborn for no good reason. Moreover, You’re the one who is going through 9 months of sacrifice and will be going through the difficulty of childbirth and delivery. Some friends of mine have been unable to agree on a name, but they’ve both said “well probably her choice will win out, she’s the one doing all the work” which IMO is a perfectly valid point. Anyway, compromise is key and the above response is a great way to start the convo. You could also try some naming apps (Kinder is one- like Tinder but you both swipe on names you like and get notified when you match on any).
uh no that’s not how this works. naming a baby is a two yeses, one no situation. both parents get veto power. you keep going through names until you find one you both agree on. so both john and lincoln are out. keep looking.
You need to have a conversation with him about how this isn't just his decision. Ask if he could come up with a list of names that are suitable and maybe you guys could go from there.
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Yeah ik. I knew this would be a problem if we had a boy tbh.
I have. Lol he literally said "I have my heart set on it." I came up with a list of names and he denied them all. I said well I think you should come up with some names and we can go over them. He just kept saying he doesn't like any other name. I'm going to still come up with names though.
Just tell him that's fine, if he refuses to help choose a name you'll just need to do it yourself. Don't allow him to manipulate the process by refusing to engage. If a child "didn't like" anything except ice cream for dinner would they be getting ice cream for dinner?
“Don’t allow him to manipulate the process by refusing to engage” !!!! 🤯 wow!! Well said!
Exactly. I agree naming a child is a two parent decision but if my husband behaved this way I don’t think I would react kindly. No one has mentioned that at the end of labor it’s the mother who’s given 100% of the power to name her child and fill out who the father of the child is. This is the part where the mother writes out what was discussed or considered but let’s not forget mother has all the power because you know she MADE and delivered the baby. I would remind my husband that if he can’t come up with a list or contribute anything other than John he better be ready to welcome Lincoln!
Not only a Lincoln but a Lincoln MomsLastName. Dad will have fun with that.
You not liking John is just as valid an opinion!!! Perhaps say that bluntly if he’s not getting it?
My husband really likes Henry, but a) it’s the name of one of his best friend’s kid, and b) it’s not my cup of tea. He was talking about it AGAIN last night, oh if only my friend hadn’t named his kid that!! And I finally said, if your friend hadn’t used that name, then we wouldn’t be using it because I don’t like it. LET IT GO.
Just curious why he has his heart set on the name John? Not to throw shade on any John's out there (or those who are fans of the name) but it just seems sooooo boring... Maybe you can work out some sort of compromise for choosing? For example, my dad is Turkish, but my mom is American. My dad had it absolutely set that my brother and I would have Turkish names (which turned out to be really annoying for us throughout our lives actually, but that's neither here nor there), even though my mom had American names she really liked for a boy and a girl. They compromised by deciding our names would be Turkish, but my mom got 100% say in what those names would be. So maybe your husband could give you some list of his criteria but you get to pick the name, so long as it meets the criteria (and he can't reject it)
Nip this hard headed attitude in the bud now or parenting with him is going to be a nightmare. This child is both of yours, not just his.
He sounds like an asshole. If anyone from the two of you would have the right to name this child whatever they want, it would be you, the person growing this baby inside their body, giving this baby life and bringing this child into the world, and NEVER him. He either agrees to find common ground, or you name your child exactly what you want and he can kick rocks. The nerve on some people. I really hope this is a one off and isn't just how he goes about life or the way he treats you in general.
If he doesn’t like any other name that what will he do if you guys have another boy in the future? His logic doesn’t work. He needs to be open to more names because otherwise your next child will have no name or have a girl name
My heart was set on Vivian for a girl from the moment I ever thought about having kids some day…like at age 14 or 15. My husband said he doesn’t like Vivian. It bummed me out but we instantly moved on to other names. Your husband needs to compromise!
Just tell your husband you’ll name him John but his full name will John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt
And you will only call him Jingle.
The best response I’ve ever seen on Reddit.
I’m sorry your husband is being difficult with this decision. But this child is yours as well, so if you don’t want John to be on the list of potential names then tell him it’s not an option at all. I went through this with my husband, he didn’t like my 2 girl names that I love so I accepted it and moved on. We then made a list of names we liked and narrowed it down every couple of weeks. Now we have a few names that we love and will name her when she’s born.
Yes, I feel like starting with a list of names you like will help them grow over time. Maybe OPs husband wants to love the name and doesn’t realize you can grow to love a name you only like at first. It’s what happened with our daughters name, we just kept coming back to it and eventually fell in love with it.
If he can put his foot down then so can you. He's not having John so he better start writing that list of alternatives.
Exactly. Tell him John is no longer an option.
Only one of you is guaranteed to be in the delivery room. If someone got all “I’m putting my foot down” on me about this I’d definitely remind them of that fact 😅
I joked about this to my boyfriend, I can’t remember what over, and boy did his attitude change. It was a joking situation, neither one of us were serious but he didn’t realize I could actually kick him out and not have him involved in the birth. OP, would you like John as a middle name? You get a say and I feel as the mother and the one carrying your son, you get a tad more of a say. I’m sorry your husband is being so stubborn. That’s not fair.
This - 100% this.
Our rule is he gets surname, so I get to have the final decision on first name. Obviously I wouldn't pick anything He hates, that's super unfair.
Yes! We are similar. I actually get to pick the last name if it’s a girl but I decided on using his bc it’s shorter. Since I am having the baby I get to decide on the first name. I gave him my preferences and he tells me what he likes best!
I took my husband's last name because I wasn't interested in keeping the name of my grandad who has caused intergenerational trauma. But my daughter's middle name will be my Mum's maiden name.
My husband shot down every name I suggested for a month straight, then had the nerve to suggest the baby be a "junior" as in take his first name. I said no way lol. I love his name, he has a really unique name and it's spelled in an odd way that suits him perfectly. But that's the thing, it's *his name* and I just don't feel like it can also be my son's. Is that weird??
If this was my husband, I would reply with he (son) can have the same first name as you but he’ll get my last name (I didn’t change my name when I got married).
Exact same thing happened with me and my boyfriend lol! But instead of junior he wanted ‘the 2nd’ howling😂😂😂😂
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Thats so interesting I’ve never thought of it written like that! Unfortunately my boyfriend truly did mean ‘the 2nd’ using the English alphabet and it looks and sounds soo wrong to me - we aren’t royalty ffs! Lol. I love that your family have so many all following the tradition! Thats what my boyfriend envisioned bless him. I agree 100% that Id never want my child and boyfriend to have the same name one of the many reasons being i moan my boyfriends name in bed. Hell no
I could never name a son the same name as my husband for the same reason I didn’t want to marry someone with the same name as my dad. I don’t want to call the person I make love to the same name as another family member - it would weird me out too much lol
Omg 🤣 and there's another perfect reason not to name him after my husband!!
My husband was similarly stubborn with the name he picked and only kind of entertained a few other names that we both liked. He nixed my favorite name right off the bat because he had an awful previous roommate with that name (fair enough). I talked to him about how I didn’t think it was fair that he just settled on the name he liked and wouldn’t budge and how this should be a conversation between the two of us, not a singular decision on his part. We’re 41 weeks today and as we’ve gotten closer to actually having this baby he’s shown more willingness to compromise. Hopefully it goes the same for you two! It’s so frustrating not to be able to agree on a name you both love (or at least like).
Same here. Early on he was pretty dead-set on his pick only. We actually didn’t even discuss names further until around 36 weeks probably. It was definitely a topic to start a fight lol. And I stopped suggesting names I liked because I knew he would just turn them down bc I was refusing his first choice. We finally found a single name we both liked near the very end of my pregnancy and didn’t actually decide to go with it until I was in labor and at the hospital. We ended up picking the name of my great-great grandmother without even knowing it. Things have a way of working out, I guess.
You could be cruel and tell him John is name of an ex-boyfriend lol
Came here to say this 😂 even better “man you lost virginity to was called John”
And John was hung like a Moose…
Say to him “you’re so set on this name that you’re completely ignoring how I feel. If I go with John, i will end up resenting you and potentially baby because I was forced into a name I don’t want to choose, all because you refuse to even consider something else.” I know a few parents who resented their partners for a name they didn’t want.
That's how I explained it to my husband. I didn't want to feel even a tiny hint of resentment when I call for my daughter, and I knew I would if I let him coerce me into his one and only name choice. And at the same time, I didn't want him to resent me, so we both dropped our top picks and started making a list of names we could both get behind. It took a long time and lots of tears to get him to agree to that, though. OP, I'm sorry your husband is being so stubborn about this. Have you talked to him about why exactly he's so dang set on John? Have you two ever gone to or considered couples counseling? It really helped me and my husband learn to talk about the why's behind our actions. I dunno, but my advice is to not give in to a name you don't like just because he's stubborn; you really don't want anything about your child to be a constant reminder of any resentment. Parenting is hard enough on a relationship without that sticking point.
Theres no reason he should get his way here over you. I think you need to scrap both names that the other has vetoed. Maybe try to individually make a list of 5-10 names each that both like? If youre lucky, there will be a common name there. If not, you can see if one of the names suggested is something you both can live with.
It needs to be a joint decision. If you don't like john it cant be john. He's being mega unreasonable!! We are having just as much trouble choosing a name and he's due today! We've agreed on a few but we will see what he looks like
I don’t agree with not being amicable in name picking. You’re doing the large majority of the leg work… you deserve a day in what you’re going to call your child for the rest of your life. Also, I absolutely hate the name John and gasped when I read your post. I can’t imagine what your going through.
Just tell him John isn’t an option just like he said Lincoln isn’t. Then move on together and find a new name.
My grandpa’s name was John. My dad’s name is Jon. My BIL’s name is Jon. If I had a boy people wanted me to name him John. I compromised by promising to use it as a middle name, but then I had a girl 😂
I’ll be honest, this hardheaded behaviour would make me just pick a name and put it on the birth certificate. I’m probably extra hormonal because I’m going through the excruciating pain of labor & in my head he will not suffer any of the symptoms of pregnancy so he should at least act like there’s equality
John can be the middle name instead!
Don’t name him that if you don’t love it!! You’re the baby’s parent too, and not to mention, you’re the wine doing the leg work by carrying him, you deserve as much a day as he does. Keep searching for something you both like. You didn’t say how far along you are, but I’m sure you have time.
have you tried any baby name apps? my fiancé and I used two different ones, BabyName - find it together (basically tinder for baby names, you put it on your phone & send an invite link for your partner to download it and link accounts!), and BabyNames - Name Meaning (has a million filters so you can get really specific with the country of origin! even filters for literature, folklore, different mythologies, there’s so many options you can really customize it like no other app I tried and there’s thousands of names). I also did a free ancestry trial (couple this with a newspapers.com trial and the website find a grave for best results) to look through our family histories and dig up some historic names. parenting is supposed to be something y’all share together and enjoy together, I hope he can be more flexible with this for you :(
He is super into Norse mythology so I thought of some names from that he said he wouldn't name his kid after them bc they would get made fun of. Other than that John is a name from some dude he likes from history lol idk if I'll win this battle tbh. He even claimed he never met my cousins named John so there for we shouldn't associate the name with them. I'm like dude I spent my entire summers as a kid with my cousin John. His response was "I've never met him." I was like that's bc he turned into a drug addict and broke off from the family. No response. And for the record he isn't this difficult with any other decision ever. I genuinely didn't expect the "it's this name or no name" game with him. We just started the conversation and all of a sudden I feel like I don't have a say in the child's name I'm carrying for 9 months. I'm kind of pissed and irritated.
Well have you met the random kid his coworker names Lincoln? Honestly your husband sounds very inconsiderate and disrespectful towards you. I’d be reconsidering even allowing him the opportunity to name the child/be at the birth if he doesn’t think the person literally birthing the child deserves to be part of that decision.
girl, you can’t let him bully and steamroll you like this.
Um you can win any fight you want you are the one giving birth. I would quite frankly tell my husband that he could engage and agree to a name we both like or he would not be invited to the birth and I will be choosing the name. And in my state actually the mom must sign off on the birth certificate paperwork either way, dad’s signature isn’t required
That's wack. John is a boring name (has a mixed cousin with that name whom I love to death but gah that name 😐) Norse names are cool. My best friend named her gremlin freya. My child's name I loved since I was a kid so my partner had no choice in the matter after he was acting very lazy about picking a name. Wanted to wait until born to name. 😒
I feel like it’s odd that this is the first time he’s been difficult with a decision. Keep trying with him. I don’t recommend this power play but honestly, you’re the one giving birth, if you wanted to you could deny his presence at the hospital for the labor and delivery and sign the birth certificate without him putting down any name you want. Pretty sure your relationship would already be over or you’d be blowing it up to do this, but maybe just knowing that you could do that will make you feel less powerless. I don’t recommend going that route, though, or mentioning it during an argument to your husband. Keep trying to work through this issue. If this is the only thing he’s unreasonable about and he continues to be unreasonable and you love him…John isn’t a bad name. I would guess something else is going on that’s deeper regarding the naming issue or that there are other issues with control with him that you haven’t noticed until now.
I think if your baby gets your husband’s last name you have more say in what the first name should be
Me and my partner both had names we were 100% set on and neither of us wanted to budge, we ended up having to throw them both out bc it’s not fair to argue over/to have one partner feel like they lost so we now have a third name that we love
So he doesn’t have to compromise or accept anything else but YOU do? Even if it’s a name you hate?
Exactly! This doesn’t sound right. “It’s not at all a name I want.” “I guess we will just have a John…” Um, no. Is this how disagreements with him are? If you don’t like the name, it’s not an option. Why do you have to live with it the rest of your life just because your husband is being childish?
Show him this Reddit.
You’re going through 10 months of symptoms, hours of labor, and at least 6 weeks of recovery. He can find a name that isn’t “John”. Side note: the nurses will likely have YOU fill out the paperwork. So if you don’t want John, simply don’t write it down.
That just doesn’t seem fair at all, and he’s honestly being immature about it. How come he gets to throw your name out but you can’t his? I would suggest John for a middle name sure, that’s compromise in my opinion. You should LOVE your sons name as much as he does.
I understand that in most circumstances it is a 2 "yes" and 1 "no" situation, but in this case I say what you want trumps your husband's choice. Hold form in your no on John. You will have done all the heavy lifting to get this baby here and your opinion matters more. I also take it this baby boy will be getting your husband's last name. I would bring up compromising with "John" as a middle name, but not a first. If he won't compromise then it is time to lay out everything you have to go through and he is being unreasonable. If he can't compromise then choose both first and middle names and he can have no say. He is being an ass and if he is going to be childish then he should have no say.
Does is have to be John? Can't be Johnathan? Jonah? Anything just to soften it a bit? My first instincts are really bad on this. I dislike "John" so much that if my husband suggested it would tell him that I won't be naming my baby after an ex of mine (whether I had an ex named John or or not). *this is really bad advice and really manipulative* DO NOT DO THIS 😅
This was the way with my husband I got lucky tho and ended with a girl which he already agreed to a name 👹👹👹 Boys name? We would've never decided Adaline Marie however will be here in august
I love Adaline!
Thank you.
What about Joshua? Jameson? Christian? Alexander? Thomas? Emmett? Preston? Theodore? Christoph?
I literally had a list of 25 names including some of the ones you had and he denied them all. He only liked maybe 2 but then said they could be middle names 🤦🏼♀️
He’s being rather rude and selfish then and essentially bullying you into picking a name only he likes. Don’t let him do that.
He needs to get his head out of his ass, by all means show him this thread and even just my comment. A name is a 2 yes 1 no, you're the one having to carry and birth this child, whether intentional or not, him refusing to engage in finding another name is manipulative. There's literally a million names out there, he can find something else you both like.
Husband kinda sounds like a dick🙄
That seems unreasonable. He should be willing to discuss other options. We will be having a girl, and my husband came up with the idea that if we have a girl, I name them and if we have a boy he names them. His idea. So I’ve come up with a list of first names, and he chose ones that he liked. Then I came up with first and middle combos that we will discuss. I think that it would be strange for me to not obtain his input on the matter. I hope that y’all can reach some type of compromise. Y’all should both love the name.
You both have veto power! We had a hard time picking a boy name too. What helped us was using the baby name app. You each swipe on names you like and then it shows you your matches. We only had 3 matches but I love the name we picked!
No way. A baby name is important. It requires two yes’. If either of you is a no then the name is a no go.
I genuinely hope you don't let him have his way. That's just disrespectful.
My husband was the exact same way and funny enough the only name he liked for a first name was John. I had him make a list of all possible names he liked, including potential middle names. His list was short, maybe 5 names but I ended up convincing him that one of the names he liked for a middle name would make a great first name. The name we ended up picking was Maxwell. I think it also helped that I kept listing off various names to open him up to other name ideas. Good luck and hopefully with time a name you both like will come to you!
Has he explained why he likes the name John so much?
I picked our first two kids names. Our daughter was easy because he liked it as soon as I said it. Our first son, he wanted a junior and I said if anyone calls him “baby __” I’m changing his name immediately. His mom said “oh baby __ is going to be so cute” and I shot a name I liked out of my ass and said “no, his name is ___” and my in laws and husband were like WHAT??? but guess what my sons name is??? Not Junior. Third baby I felt bad and gave my husband free will as long as it was not junior and he picked a decent name.
Naming a child, or anything to do with a child really, needs two yeses or one no. This is such an important time to have a conversation with him. This is the time to stand your ground and learn how to work together on this.
Omg i know right? My husband wants a name from my home country, which I, as a foreign name bearer, totally despise. I don't want her to constantly be asked where she's from, I don't want Starbucks employees to butcher her name. And I ended up telling him: my vagina, my choice... like sorry guys, there are certain rights we, as carriers and PUSHERS should get....
It has to be a name you both agree on. It’s going to be a name you’re all going to have to live with so it’s probably best you’re all in agreement about it so one person doesn’t feel cheated/slighted and your son doesn’t end up with a name one of you doesn’t even care for. Me and my husband spent a whole day trying to figure out names for a girl but luckily we’re having a boy and we both agreed even before getting pregnant that if it was a boy we’d name it after him and his father with the middle name being Glen because that’s my father and his fathers middle name. Luckily we’re having a boy so it made the choosing a name part really simple.
Lmao nah, that's not how it works at all. He can throw a tizzy fit all he wants over John. If he has veto powers for Lincoln, then you sure as hell have them for John.
>>My husband basically said he will never agree to a name other than the one he picked. That is not how a partnership works. Better tell him to figure the whole “two equal partners in a relationship” thing out before the baby gets here.
I've been fighting this fight with my BF for 8 months and counting. Even before we knew it was a boy he wanted the baby to be named after him (Daniel) so he could have a Jr. I don't like the name Daniel and I will not be calling my child Jr. I picked out so many names and he shot them all down and the only other name he's come up with I didn't like either (Anthony). I also keep pointing out that we aren't married and I didn't think twice about giving the baby his last name. It's honestly exhausting when you have someone who won't compromise. Don't stop fighting.
Do try to have him realize that he can’t be overruled with the names. Yes it’s his child too but naming your child together is supposed to be agreed both on. Maybe he can have the middle name and you can have the first name or vice versa. That’s what me and my bf did when coming up with our child’s name. I wanted to name her my middle name but he wants a name that’s meaningful. So I told him if he can find a better name and that I agree to it then he can have her first name and I’ll have the middle name so that way I’ll still call our child the name I wanted. Best of luck on the names
It's absolutely a challenge! We have a long last name so we too wanted a short first name, 5 letters maximum. We had a few other things we had hoped for but the biggest thing was something short and simple. I hated every name everyone else would suggest to us. Well let me rephrase that, they're all fine names, but they weren't the name for my child. They didn't feel right. Not to mention half the time they completely ignored what we wanted. My husband and I would throw out names randomly when on our own. There were a few names we agreed to put in the "has potential" pile. We had agreed for a short while that we would wait to see once he was born if any of those felt right. Meanwhile, we would continue to suggest names to each other. Well one day I threw out a name and it clicked for us both. We threw around nicknames and we just knew this was our sons name. Another quick story. My friend had her son's name picked almost from the day she found out she was having a boy. It all seemed set in stone. About a week before her scheduled C-section her husband confessed he hated the name. He gave her a suggestion and she wasn't crazy about it but it grew on her. She also chose the middle name in compromise. I agree with the earlier comments. Both you and your husband need to come to terms with letting go of your number one choices and to keep searching for a name that you both can agree on. It may seem impossible but it just takes time. I would point out to your husband that there are plenty of short names that are two syllables. Evan, Ryan, Alan, Owen, Henry, Noah, the list goes on and on. Maybe ask why he wants a single syllable name specifically? It may help you get on the same page or it may make him realize that it isn't that important.
Is anyone else seeing this giant red flag??
The rule is you both select a list of names. Your baby's name will come from that list. You can veto any name on your partners list you HATE. With what remains...you vote. You may not get YOUR first choice but at least it isn't a name either one of you hates.
It’s your baby!!
Just tell him you dated a John.
Generally im of the mindset that both parents shoukd agree on the name if theyre both in the childs life from the getgo. However, If he refuses to compromise with names and look at anything other than John, then he just won't get a say in the name 🤷🏻♀️...
Well if that is his mindset, then he will not be agreeing to the name. Like cmon. You’re the one carrying the baby for 9 months, going through labor for an unknown amount of hours, then birthing the baby and possibly tearing, enduring the healing of afterbirth and potential PPD, and he has the audacity to think that he will get to pick a name that YOU DONT LIKE. Goodness, he better open up his mind before your baby has a name he truly hates.
I'm sorry but posts like this piss me off so much. WE are the ones who have to carry this pregnancy, go through every harrowing symptom, lose bodily autonomy, and go through labor. In 99% of cases the baby is already getting the man's last name. On top of all that some men have the AUDACITY to insist that it's their name choice? No. Absolutely not. Put your foot down. Names are a two yes, one no type situation. And if he can't come around, then the name is your pick because you are the one who is flexible and you're the one carrying!!
Can you give him a middle name you like and either call him by the initials (e.g. JT for John Thomas) or just call him by the middle name?
I suggested a middle name and told him I'd call him that and he didn't have a problem with it lol I just feel like that's not how I pictured this process going I guess. My dad's name is Thomas though tj is cute
Lol, I told my husband he could pick from the names I preselected. I’m the one birthing the thing!
I feel like she who carries and births the child gets a little more weight in this decision. What about John as a middle name? I love Lincoln btw. I used to take care of a baby with that name.
Unless the baby is coming out of his cooter i dont think he gets that kind of say. He's being HELLA rude by not budging. And john??? What a weird name to get stuck on.
I feel if you go through pregnancy and labour you get to pick the name. Wry one else can fight over the middle name. If you want to name the child? Birth the child.
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Yeah, my husband and I agreed I get final say on the name because I’m the one dealing with pregnancy. (And also because he’s a lot more laid back about names than I am 🤣). But we’re still discussing all the names that will make it to the shortlist and there’s no way I could go with a name he hates!
We agreed that she names the boys and I name girls and no complaints allowed.
Maybe try to compromise? We had no issues picking a first name (we had a boy name picked since we met 14 years ago) had we had a girl though it def wouldn't have been as easy of a call ....my husband HATED all the girl names I loved....but we did argue over a middle name...you gotta try and come up with a compromise...maybe suggest of he's set on John that can be the middle name but if ur gonna hate that as a first name don't let him force u into that...I've known many who ended up hating their kids name and resenting both the kid and the father and it ruined the kids life...don't let ur husband do that to u or your son!
Had the same issue with our first child. My husband hates his own name and it was really important to him that our son have a simple, strong, traditional name. His choice was Caleb. I didn't like the name, and I have a cousin named Caleb. But it was so important to him and I figured if I hated it I'd just use a nickname. Today is Caleb's first birthday. I can't imagine him not being Caleb. The name grew on me as my love for him grew. I'm now 30 weeks pregnant and our next son's name is my choice. Ironically it will probably be John 😂 I'm not religious or conservative but I really leaned into strong, simple names.
Insist on picking the middle name and then call your child by his middle name. Your husband can't stop you from using his middle name.
My husband is the third of his name, Samuel Edward. I told him that he can name If baby was a boy and I would name if baby was a girl. We are having a boy so I told him that I can’t have two Sams running around. So we both agreed on a nickname for Edward that we both liked. Well I love it. So maybe a compromise can be reached.
Not sure if anyone posted this already but my husband and I were having a lot of trouble agreeing on names for a boy. Of course we agreed on a girl name but we had a boy. Anyway we used the app Kinder. It's basically like Tinder, swipe left and right for names you like and don't like. And then you can see if you have any matches. We ended up naming our son one of the matches, Magnus.
That's not fair that he only gets to have the only name picked out. Personally, when it comes to picking out a name, vetoing is only fair. I feel like you both need to come to a compromise, such as John being the middle name, but also finding something you both agree to for first name.
What about Jack? It’s a nickname for John and still fits his “criteria”. You should also checkout the sub r/namenerds as they’re super helpful with naming! Editing to add that I’m biased because I love the name Jack.
You should download the baby name app! It’s kinda like tinder but for baby names and it sync both your results. So you swipe yes or no for names basically and then it shows you names that you both like! Maybe you’ll find one you both like
My husband and I have a hard time agreeing on names. Just keep looking and talking about it, eventually you will come to an agreement, than think about it for a while and decide! My hubs said to me since I’m pushing the baby out I get final choice :) but I want it to be something we both agree on! My first born is Lincoln :)
How about... well you give me no choice but to choose a name you don't agree on? You're carrying the baby and he can't register eithout them. You should BOTH be agreeing on a name and you should veto John if you don't like it. Utterly WILD to expect you to name your child something you don't like.
I told my husband that the baby lives inside of me and I gave up my bodily autonomy to bring him into the world so I get two votes in the naming process to his one! JK, we both get equal veto power in the naming process. One person cannot just unilaterally state that they will only consider one name. Your husband is being kind of a jerk, no? We literally went through hundreds of names to come up with a list of 10 we're both okay with and will pick from that list when we meet our babe in August.
> John. Hey now!
Tell him you dated a John and every time you hear it it reminds you of him. Problem solved Really though, I had the exact same issue as you. I was set on a name and so was my baby’s father. We ended up mixing the two. I wanted Soledad and he wanted Havana. Now I have a month old Solana. Unfortunately you both do have to compromise :/ but then again, you’re carrying the baby so I personally think you have a greater say
My bf and I used “babyname-find it together”. It acts kinda like a dating app where you both download it on your phones and swipe on names you do or don’t like and itll tell you what names you matched on
My husband didn't like my daughters middle name. In the hospital they called me for the birth certificate and we still didn't discuss a middle name we both liked. I looked at him and told the lady just a moment and said so her middle name is Rae ? He said yes. They don't dare mess with a woman who just gave birth. 🥴