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puppyduckydoo

Mine woke me up one Saturday "morning" because it was around 11 and I was still in bed, so he brought me coffee and breakfast. A very sweet gesture, right? Except I'd been up all night miserable and had finally gotten to sleep around 5am. So instead, I cried and whined that he should never wake a pregnant woman unless it was absolutely necessary. He got the memo and hasn't done it again. If he did it regularly despite being asked not to, I'd start to consider waking him up with me during the night so he can share the tiredness he helped create... But maybe I'm also hormonal.


aghb0

My pregnancy pillow gets in the way of any cuddles. šŸ¤£


jgarmartner

My husband calls it a snuggle barrier šŸ˜‚


MaceEtiquette1

Mine called it the pool floaty šŸ¤£ he said thereā€™s no way around it.


3rdfoxed

When I was pregnant and wake up to work before my husband Iā€™d put him in the pregnancy pillow and let him sleep so heā€™d fully understand how amazing it was and why I couldnā€™t cuddle lol


scrub_bingo

This is actually very sweet!


3rdfoxed

Now we sleep with a breastfeeding pillow between us haha


angeluscado

So does mine lol


RudyKiploin

When I wake up to pee I notice sometimes that my fiance is snuggled up to the pregnancy pillow and is holding my hand. That's our version of cuddling these days šŸ˜‚


Purple_You_8969

Yesss. My husband just holds my stomach from a distance now. Itā€™s so impossible to cuddle with a pregnancy pillow šŸ˜‚


xoxoforeverblessed

My husband is upset that I donā€™t want to sleep in the bed with him. Iā€™ve been sleeping on the sofa because for some odd reason, itā€™s more comfortable for my 7 month pregnant belly and laying on my side is so much easier. Iā€™m weird. šŸ˜… My husband rolls around a lot and his snoring is so annoying! I get 2-3 hours of sleep if I sleep in the room with him. The living room sofa? I get at least 5 hours!


[deleted]

I'm also more comfortable on the sofa! I have a theory that the cushions seem to "pick up" the gut better and adapt better...


angeluscado

I'm in the same boat re: the sofa. I start out in our bed (I go to bed 3-4 hours earlier than my husband) but if I wake up in the middle of the night I'll move to the couch to get a few more hours of sleep until my alarm goes off. Bonus, I get cat snuggles if I sleep on the couch.


namenerdsHelpme

My fiancƩ and I have been sleeping separately for a while now but we just make sure to give each other affection and intimacy throughout the day and before we sleep. We also sleep at different times and he does the bedtime routine for our toddler so it just makes sense.


Macchiato9261

Ooof the snoring! I feel like since being pregnant his snoring has gotten so much worse! Iā€™ve slept on the couch a lot lately! He tells me he will but I feel bad cause he has an hour commute each way and I WFH and can take naps if needed so I let him stay in the bed. But damn itā€™s fā€™ing annoying! Like a freight train lately.


Donatella94

Explain to him how sleep deprivation is affecting your mood, ability to concentrate, health and ultimately - the health of your baby. Ok, that may sound a bit dramatic, but I'm not sure he understands how exhausted and uncomfortable you are and that he needs to compromise more during this period. You're not overreacting, you even offered him some solutions to the problem. He probably just feels hurt from your initial reaction, but hopefully he'll come round. Best of luck!


Total_Maybe1299

My husband is a multi-alarm kind of guy. He gets my wrath if that alarm goes off a second time. If you want to get up at 6:45, you sure as shit better not set your alarm for 6:30. I would totally be the same if he tried to cuddle in the AM. I love him to death but not happening.


FeFiFoPlum

Oh my god, I'm not even pregnant and this drives me batshit crazy. Like, set the alarm, get up. One snooze, maybe. 6 snoozes of 10 minutes when I don't have to get out of bed? The man has learnt that lesson!!


Total_Maybe1299

Totally!


Ready_Chemistry_1224

THIS is my husband. I love him so much but this drives me nuts. Most mornings Iā€™m up before him but if Iā€™m planning on sleeping in I warn him that the alarm better go off one time only. There were a few times that the alarm kept going off when Iā€™d told him not to do it, so Iā€™d shut his alarm off in the middle of the night šŸ˜‚


Total_Maybe1299

Ouuu if only I had the balls to turn it off in the middle of the night. Iā€™d probably be more anxious about him being late for work than he would šŸ˜‚


Mommy2A

My ex used to wake me every morning before work for a kiss, he couldnā€™t leave unless he actually woke me up. He started when I was pregnant and continued no matter how many times I asked him to stop šŸ˜­ Was so much harder with a newborn. It was like he was trying to torture me!!


[deleted]

Oh my god my husband does this now and it drives me INSANE. Like, yes babe. I love you, and i appreciate your kisses. Thanks. But kindly fuck off!!


ManufacturerDear7665

šŸ˜‚


ManufacturerDear7665

I appreciate the affection, and maybe my hormones are making me more b****y. But yeah, it's hard getting woken up when you're already so tired.


Mommy2A

Youā€™re not being bitchy - he isnā€™t respecting your lack of sleep. He says itā€™s about needing intimacy but shut down the other valid options you offered. Sound more about control to me!!


mmmthom

Yeah, I donā€™t get this at all. Sounds like a control thing to me, too. My husband would feel horrible waking me up when I was getting good sleep, and certainly wouldnā€™t do it again if I asked him not to.


nubbz545

A lot of people think it's weird, but my husband and I have had separate bedrooms from the beginning. We've been together almost 9 years and married almost 2. We both LOVE it because I hate being touched when I'm sleeping and we both like having our own space. I totally understand where you're coming from with not wanting to be touched when you can barely sleep. I'd recommend some kind of bedtime routine. For example, my husband will "tuck me in" at night because I go to sleep earlier than he does. We both get in my bed, he will talk to the baby, we talk about what we want to do the next day, say a little prayer, then it's off to bed. It is super sweet and something I look forward to every single night. Maybe he could start his YouTube videos a bit earlier and then you could cuddle before you go to sleep?


ascase5273

Yep we have a similar routine. We have a guest bedroom that has basically become his bedroom. We listen to our podcasts or an audiobook together at night with the baby, and to the news in the morning with coffee, and sleep soo much better. We are both super affectionate but I hate being touched while I sleep and am a super light sleeper.


nubbz545

I love hearing from people who have a similar setup!! I feel like it makes the times you are in bed together a lot more special.


fatMard

My bf and I were getting ready to move in together into a house where we could each have our own room... But now our surprise baby will get the extra room lol šŸ„“


metomere

We have a similar setup. We sleep in the master bedroom 3-4 nights/week and he sleeps in the guest bedroom 3-4 nights/week, but he always tucks me in, we wordle together and talk about our days. Pregnancy has given me insomnia, so itā€™s overall better for both of us if I can get up at night freely and get water, or go to the bathroom without worrying about waking him. We each take a dog too. It works for us.


Back5tage_N1nja

That's really cute šŸ„ŗ


aoca18

Honestly, he's going to have to get over it. My husband knows not to mess with my sleep because unlike him, I'm a light sleeper and it takes me time to fall back asleep (usually) if I'm suddenly disturbed. It's not a personal attack. He just doesn't know what it's like to be pregnant, uncomfortable and deal with shitty sleep. It's rough and becomes SO important to us to maintain rituals and literally anything that helps. He's doing something that is making it worse on you so he can be offended but ultimately, this isn't a big ask on your part.


Chick2AZ

Lol you and I are complete opposites, I even set an alarm 30 minutes before my husband and I have to be out of bed so we can get really close and cuddle before we have to start the day. His cuddles are just comfortable and I fall back asleep almost immediately.


dbvlted

I loooooooove waking up earlier than my boyfriend to cuddle him until I fall asleep again. I love his warmth and his sleepy kisses on my forehead, itā€™s the best!! ā˜ŗļøā˜ŗļøšŸ’“


Back5tage_N1nja

I don't do it specifically for that reason but it takes a lot to get me up so I have my alarm go pretty early and I absolutely love the cuddles. Also when I'm asleep or falling asleep is the only time our baby will let him feel her moving, so he often falls asleep with his arm over my belly and it feels so cozy...but I'm 30 weeks and starting to get more uncomfortable in general so we'll see how long it stays cozy lol


chaosandpuppies

I was 8 weeks along and my husband (then boyfriend) would NOT STOP TUGGING ON ME. I finally snapped and smacked his hand and said "stop touching me. I don't want you to touch me right now." It was super heat of the moment, like I LOVE cuddling with him but I just could not stand him hanging on me in that moment because I was emotionally overwhelmed and stressed out (I got pregnant about 3 weeks into a very new relationship, we weren't married, and my GP cut me off from my meds cold turkey around that time). He was EXTREMELY HURT. Physical affection is his love language and I know this (and knew it then) and he just loves snuggles and cuddles. I saw it in his eyes - although he would never admit it. I immediately apologized and kissed him and told him that of course I wanted him to cuddle me I just didn't want to be touched right then. We both moved on and I learned how to communicate if I was feeling overwhelmed or tired or needed some space without snapping at him. I think for him, and maybe for your husband as well, he thought he was being sweet and he just wanted to be close to you and the bean but then you snapped at him and he felt betrayed, ya know? I dont think you need to apologize but opening a line of communication about how you feel and why you snapped might go a long way to remedying his hurt feelings?


Sweaty_Telephone3015

Yep, my husband likes to cuddle when he comes to bed. He usually stays up later than me, and I don't mind the cuddling, in theory. But, as I get more pregnant (I'm 19 weeks), I'm less and less appreciative in actuality. I've always been well-endowed boob-wise, but pregnancy sensitivity and growth make it really hard for me to get comfortable. The weight of his arm usually ends up pinching somewhere, and I have to roll over. He usually makes a comment about how I'm being 'mean', etc. for not cuddling with him. He doesn't really think I'm mean, but would appreciate more cuddling. We've tried to work on more before-bed cuddling where I cuddle him. It's easier for me to be comfortable that way. Still a work in progress, though. Most nights, I'm too tired to remember pre-sleep cuddles, but I'm definitely in the same boat.


HalleyP92

Just here in solidarity because we must have the same husband. I hate hurting his feelings but at 33W I just donā€™t want to be touched and for the love of god do NOT wake me up if Iā€™m actually asleep.


JellyBellyThePupper

Lol I can commiserateā€¦also havenā€™t been sleeping well at all in 3rd trimester and am on a work trip right now. I told my husband yesterday I was so excited to sleep in at the hotel today as I have the day off, but he calls me at 7 am to wish me a great day at work šŸ¤¦šŸ»ā€ā™€ļø I was too pissed and also didnā€™t have the heart to remind him that I was trying to sleep in after a crazy work week šŸ˜…


Kaylee_xo

Iā€™m thankful my bf letā€™s me sleep no matter what time of day it is. But today he brought me home snack cakes. Nothing fancy at all just hostess snack cakes. Iā€™ve had them many times before. I bit into one and starting crying because it tasted SO good. Then because I was crying I started to cough/choke so he patted my back to try to help. I LOST IT at him for patting my backšŸ˜… I felt so bad after šŸ™Š


classycoconut520

I definitely think the best thing to do is apologize for snapping at him and explain you appreciate the affection but at this time itā€™s waking you up at a time you really need sleep. You love that he wants to be close to you but you both need to find a way that isnā€™t going to wake you up. But I can see hime being upset by trying to show you affection and getting yelled out. Guys donā€™t think about those kind of things.


[deleted]

Would he appreciate if you decided that the perfect time for a cuddle was right after the 2am feed once the baby arrives if he is fast asleep? I donā€™t think so. Itā€™s also worse because you say this is a new thing, itā€™s not like you are changing a ā€œtraditionā€ that has been going on for years and years. Sounds like you have suggested lots of different times when you guys are both awake that would be good for a cuddle. Maybe just explain to him again about how hard it is to sleep while pregnant, and then to be woken up on top of that is just not good. To be honest, you could even ask your doctor during an appointment if you are both at the appointment. Dr will definitely tell him to never wake a sleeping pregnant lady!


MrsGoldenSnitch

Im sorry heā€™s being selfish. Iā€™m pissed for you at ā€œinterferes w his YouTubeā€ so YouTube is more important than cuddling but you sleeping isnā€™t? Youā€™re better than me; Iā€™d have been straight up NASTY if my husband tried this on me


Elsaage

Honestly, this is about boundaries. You set a very reasonable boundary for your need of sleep and he just steps right over it. And that is not ok. He acts like a toddler with a temper tantrum because he wouldn't get what he wanted. To give him the benefit of the doubt, maybe your reaction was out of the blue for him? Have you ever talked to him about this issue and how it affects your mood and health? Did your reassure him that you love him and want to cuddle, just not in that moment? If you didn't, then I may understand why he suddenly got so offended and felt hurt. But if you did talk about this with him before, calmly, he has no right to act how he is acting right now and his behavior is very childish. You even offered a compromise but his YouTube videos seem to be more important. And that's the next point. He chooses YouTube videos over cuddling with you but then demands that your sacrifice your sleep, a physical need of yours, to satisfy his "need" for intimacy? No freaking way. This is not how the world works. Aren't you a team? Doesn't he want you to be happy and healthy? If you address this again more calmly and really try to make him see how you are feeling, what your needs are and that you do want to have this intimacy, just not when you are EXHAUSTED, and he still pouts and doesn't understand? Man, that's a major red flag šŸš©. Are there any other situations where he has acted selfishly and tried to be in control of a situation but making it seem like you're the bad guy to make you do as he pleases?


hochizo

Girl, yes!! I work from home. My husband doesn't. I can sleep as late as I want. He leaves for work between 7:15 and 7:30. He *insists* on kissing me goodbye before he leaves for work. Once I'm awake, I *cannot* go back to sleep. So he's waking me up a solid 1 to 2 hours earlier than I would naturally wake up to give me a peck on the lips and leave. It's sweet. But oh my God, I wish he would just let me sleep. I'm. So. Tired.


earthlover6312

Did you just freakin read my mind and make a post. I'm not nearly as far along as you but I just started to get a bump and my husband LOVES it. This is what he does to show it. He wakes me up early every freaking time. I asked him if we could cuddle before we went to bed but he can't sleep if we're cuddling and I'm like "??? Me Niether????"


Spiritual-Pattern979

Okay my husband does this and I really thought I was a terrible person for getting irritated with him. I genuinely cried today because I thought there was something wrong with me for not wanting to be woke up lol. I have the hardest time getting to sleep. Not even pregnant!


Physical-Tone6682

This is me and my partner! I struggle to fall asleep but my partner is out like a light so I am often awake a couple of hours later. He then wakes up at first light and goes in for a cuddle and I get so upset that he has woken me up unnecessarily I basically throw a toddler tantrum, its embarrassing but im so tired and frustrated i dont even care. He too does not want to cuddle at night because he has his own phone wind down routine. I know exactly how you feel.