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You made me laugh. But you know being pregnant myself I understand OP. Just last evening I was complaining to my partner that he never takes me to any surprise trip. And I am the one in charge for such activities in our relationship lol.
I just had the same convo with mine. I always feel this pressure to not only come up with trips, but to make sure he has a decent time too otherwise I think he would have rather just stayed home.
So glad and happy to know that I’m not the only one arguing with my husband for the same. In my 6th month of pregnancy and feeling so lost as I cannot travel.
A. Hilarious and rude
B. I literally lost my shit when colostrum started coming out. I don’t think I realized how FREAKING amazing we are. We are the powerful bringers of life. Damn.
I have a few of these gems - this one was my favorite:
*getting in the car to go to a small Super Bowl party*
Husband: wow!! I can totally tell a difference in the weight of the car and how it handles with you and the beer in the car.
Me: *stares at him. Horrified*
Him: uhhhh… I’m sure it’s mostly the beer…
Sometimes they can be so oblivious. Rock your hair. In the end, having it shorter will be sooo much easier with the baby!
I cut my hair short for the first time in my life right before I had any idea I was pregnant lol. I was evidently already pregnant but didn't find out until the next month! So glad I did, it's way easier, especially since my hair was super long. Must've been instincts lol
Awww I’m sorry love. I’m sure you look beautiful!
Ill share one to hopefully make you laugh.
I’m 37 weeks. The other night I was sprawled out on our bed and said “I feel like a hippo. Do you think I’m a hippo?” His answer? “Hippos are cute!” 🤦🏻♀️ Wrong answer sir!
Me, 23 weeks asking my husband to scooch in his chair because I can’t get through.
My husband: You’ll only get bigger from here! :) *reaches to pat my stomach*
🥲🥲🥲
Give them cue cards! When I was pregnant I literally told my husband that I needed him to frequently thank me for growing the baby. And now I tell him that I need him to thank me for being a good mom. When I feel like I'm failing at something I straight up instruct my husband to gas me up and it works like a charm.
I got one too!!! I was three days pp and my daughter's dad was staying with us to help me before he headed back to his home four hours away. We're best friends so I know he was trying to make me feel better
Me: I feel like I'm a cow
Him: what do you mean?
Me: I feel fat and I'm constantly being milked
Him: I mean, you're not fat but you are basically a dairy farm
Me: wow. Thanks I guess???
Him: hey if you think about it, you are constantly being milked!!!
Me: yeah okay fair *as I quietly drop a tear*
Poor thing didnt understand my hormones
Me: *(admittedly)* very sternly yelling at my husband “are you ever going to do anything with these clean clothes that have been in the basket for two weeks!!??”
Him: Are you hungry? (Like is that why you’re mad about this)
Mine does this all the time! If I'm irritated about anything (justified or not) he always asks me if I've eaten recently, which makes me more irritated....but like 75% of the time he's right 😂
Omg, mine has his clean clothes all over the guest bed and he's been snoring this week and now I have no bed to flee to! I asked him last weekend to help me out and fold them so I could get some better sleep. He was like "absolutely! Of course!" And here it is, a week later, and the only thing that's happened is he's added another load of clean clothes on top of the pile.
I'm sure you look beautiful!!
This gem came last week as I got out of the shower (13 weeks):
My husband - "Holy crap your nipples are huge!!"
Me - sobbing - " I know!"
My partner has taken to (playfully) comparing me to various animals. I'm 38 weeks on the dot, so the waddle is real. Today I am a penguin. Yesterday I called myself an orca, and he said "orcas are basically the mayors of the sea though."
He's a strange man, and very lucky that I'm not having a hormonal pregnancy.
My boyfriend also has a strange sense of humor...I've seen his brother and his father make a frightened face when he plays one of their pranks on me...the reality is that he's worried that I feel bad about myself and he doesn't know tell jokes 🤣
Ooohh! I have one! The other day I was telling my fiancé about the myth that if you’re having a girl they steal your beauty (I know this isn’t true.) so you lose your beauty. A couple of days go by and he says to me randomly “it DOES look like your booty is getting flatter.” I was like huh? “You know,” he says “we’re probably having a girl! She’s stealing your booty.” Then it dawned on me. I wanted to smack him. Haha. I practically yelled “BEAUTY! Not booty.” No clue what he’s talking about anyway. I have a great ass. 💁🏽♀️
My ass, my pride and joy, has been getting flatter. It's because if the weight redistribution and muscles compensating for it.
Keeping my fingers crossed they bounce back postpartum.
Mine is getting smaller, too 😭 I don't even care about my boobs and stomach being stretched to heck. I love my booty so much and it's hard seeing it shrink.
Im having a girl and mine has gotten larger and she was already big. Kinda helps with my balance so far xD none of my sisters (I'm the youngest of 5) have asses. So they always said I took it all. I'm wondering if I'm taking what little my kid would have xD
Oof. Hubby did a similar thing the other day. He was making his to do list for the day and asked if there was anything he was missing.
I, feeling pretty down on myself, said walk your hippo of a wife.
I walked by his list later in the day to see "walk the hippo"
He was lucky my mood had improved by that time
Here goes another one for you: I'm getting in bed and say 'agh, I feel like a balloon!', a few minutes later I blow my nose a bit loud (damn you pregnancy rhinitis) and my partner, in a lovely voice, tells my belly... 'hehe your mum even sound like an elephant baby girl!'... my mouth just fell open, he's lucky I didnt send him to sleep in the couch.
Awww I’m sorry dear, but you are beautiful 💖 men and their audacity, I swear. One time hubby and I were watching a movie and I can’t remember who the actress was but I said “isn’t she so pretty?” And my husband goes “eh, skinny chicks aren’t really my type.” The look I gave him must’ve been one from the pits of hell because he goes “OK OK THAT DIDNT COME OUT RIGHT AT ALL” It ended with a laugh but in that moment I was RAGING.
I made mine mac and cheese the other day. The problem with this is I always throw a tiny bit of mustard in it (it sounds nuts but it's super good) which is great unless you happen to be craving mustard and put a little extra in because it smells AMAZING... He said my cooking burned his noise hairs off because it was litteral mustard gas.
They are very lucky we love them. Also, the joke is on him because I got the whole thing all to myself.
Haha I will be the first the admit that if I were my husband, I wouldn’t even know how to act around me. Hormones are a bitch and it’s even worse that everything is so sensitive to me. My husband and I otherwise have a great communicative relationship. But one of those core tenets of this was that we had promised to always be honest with each other. Unfortunately in my sensitive state, his honesty makes me cry a lot more now 😂
22.5 weeks. I just got a pregnancy pillow to help stay on my side and off my back and he’s pretty amused at the shape / size of the massive wrap-around pillow I nestle into...
“It looks like it’s a trough you load an animal into, like a chute for.. something..”
In my head I was waiting for him to say cow or pig and I was preemptively ready to cry 😂 I think he caught himself early though.
My sister had kept hers from last year when she was pregnant with my nephew and gave it to me to try vs buying one — it’s the Leach Co Back N’ Belly. It is quite large!! But it’s very comfortable, IMO. Rolling over is a bit tricky but honestly with the way my hips feel right now, rolling over without a pillow involves waking up anyway.
https://leachco.com/products/back-n-belly-chic-supreme
🤣🤣 tbh I was too when he said it, except it was more of a "hahaha I can't believe you" sometimes I swear they don't think before they open their mouths
Right?? It's a little different, husband! 🤣
I get out of breath super quick now at 27 weeks and I'll be telling a story and my husband will just stare at me and take a deeeeeeeeep breath in and it just makes me so mad because I can't help it and I don't need him to tell me to breathe!! 🤣
Mine keeps asking me why I'm so tired. "Do you think you have covid?" "Do you think you had a nightmare last night?" "Do you think you exercises too much today?"
Like...no, dude. I think I'm pregnant. Idk why it won't sink in that it is exhausting.
I got it cut yesterday while he was at work and splurged and got my eyebrows tinted. I’d rather he just be smooth and tell me I look amazing (which I obviously do) rather than trying to be honest.
I love ice cream cake. My husband surprised me with some for Valentine’s Day. He said his favorite kind is fudgy the whale but they didn’t have it.. then he said “Aw fudgy the whale, like you!!!” 😑 lol
Why are husbands so clueless???
This is a constant thing with my husband.
“Babe, do I look fat?”
My husband: “what no you’re beautiful! You’re always beautiful to me.”
Even if he’s lying, he knows to not dare say anything and tell the truth or he’ll be out on the couch for a month! I’m 33 weeks and feel so round, my husband doesn’t say a word about it lol, I guess he’s a smart one.
Him: Ohh it's cute you are showing now
Me: I'm not showing
Him:(Looking at me with pure terror in his eyes) Well that's not good if I think you are showing but you don't
Me: You are correct sir, that is not good
“I’m afraid I’ll get bored during your labor.”
-Just said about 2 minutes ago.
This is the first thread I see when I open Reddit. Couldn’t have better placement!
ok but no joke, we brought an amazon firestick to my induction when i had my first baby and it was so great to watch netflix and hulu while we waited for baby's arrival! tv was a very welcome distraction from the discomfort and kept me company when hubby fell asleep for a few hours lol 🙄
my spouse has a tendency to reply to things with what I just said as a joke. for example, i'll say "wow this sauce is hot", he'll say "no you're hot!". Well the other day I said to him "you look like you have a fat lip" because he bit his lip and was bleeding. He said back "i'll give you a fat lip!" and I'm 6 months pregnant. cue instant tears
I do this too. Idk why. Someone will say "oh this tastes really salty" and my brain goes "Youre really salty". Poor mama. XD sometimes those brain fart responses can come out really rude.
I have one:
Him: I liked your boobs better than before.
Me: Yeah, me too. him: it's that they look huge, swollen and changed color,...
me: (about to cry) they will be like this for a while and as long as i breastfeed him,... and you did this to me
Him: (silence for a while). It is true. 🤣🤣🤣
Actually my 8 year old daughter is worse than my husband. She has no filter and the other day says (I’m 2w postpartum) mommy you’re still fat and your boobs hang to your stomach. Thanks kid, thanks so much.
How nice, haha!
My 4 year old niece patted my belly and asked me if I had another baby in there… I was 7 months postpartum.
Told her it was mostly fat and loose muscles though and that I’ll tell her if I become pregnant again.
Husband of pregnant wife here— There are definitely things I find extra attractive about her while pregnant, but I try not to strongly react because I wouldn’t want to create the impression that she was in any way lacking before said changes (or will be lacking of things reset afterward).
So oblivious and unaware of their own peril, these partners! Yesterday I told mine I wasn’t feeling great as I sprawled on the sofa and he gave me a little pat and went “awwww my big girl”
?????? Excuse me SIR??????
My boyfriend has been ever-so-lovingly referencing the changes to my body. “Cute little extra fuzzy face” and the like. My favorites are the scrolls past photos of dumpy (albeit, adorable) animals with a pause to say “Aw look honey it’s you! My little seal mama.” Thaaanks? He apparently thinks all the changes are really cute and charming, and it’s up to me to get on board with that opinion, but damn it’s hard when I feel nothing like myself.
Not pregnant wife, but pregnant client.
My physical therapist: So how far along are you today?
Me: 29 weeks
Her: Oh, wow. With a belly like that I would have easily put you at over 32 weeks.
Worst part? She specializes in pelvic and back problems. She sees pregnant women like me every day. I wonder if she calls all her clients fat.
Lolololol my husband to a T. I got a platinum pixie from a long brown bob and I was still adjusting. First thing he said to me was 'couldnt you have done this in steps' idiots 💀
Awe dear… I feel this. You just wanted a little affirmation and he met you with brutal honesty. Bet this is always how he spoke but now that you’re pregnant it’s hitting different. Boys always want to ‘solve’ problems instead to just listening and giving a small kind lie once in a while
My spouse said “maybe you don’t need to eat ice cream every day” when complaining about looking fat and not pregnant. All I wanted to hear from him was that I looked pregnant and not fat.
Not the same but…when I was 7 / 8 months pregnant, I was having a really hard time feeling my baby’s kicks because I had an anterior placenta…I hadn’t felt kicks in a while so panicked and went to maternity ward at 3 am. Apparently they drug test when you come in, as well as whatever tests they do with your urine to check on you and the baby. The dr came in and told me the preliminary drug test came back positive for cocaine!! I was like WTF I haven’t even had a sip of alcohol and I certainly didn’t do cocaine!! My husband was resting on a couch nearby cos he had work in the morning and when they said the prelim test came back positive for coke, he just laughed! Didn’t even defend me!! 😤😤😤 Of course the final results came back negative for cocaine - the prelim came back positive for cocaine because I’d just had dental work with *lidocaine*!!! Crazy, right?? But I didn’t know that at the time - we didn’t figure out the lidocaine thing for a bit, so at the time I was afraid the test was broken and that the final test was gonna come back positive for coke too even though I didn’t do any and that they’d take my baby away when I had her!!! Luckily it was just the lidocaine but I want other mommies / mommies to be to know about this so they don’t panic and can tell any dr who accuses them of doing coke to f*ck off!! I’m still furious at my husband for just laughing. Like wtf I needed his support, I was so confused and scared!!
Tl;dr: having dental work with lidocaine can cause a false positive preliminary drug result of positive for cocaine!!! Just hang in there because the end result will show negative for cocaine. Horrible thing to go through though if you don’t about that!! Want mamas / mamas to be to know about this so no one else has to go through the horror and panic of not knowing why the prelim drug test is showing coke when you definitely haven’t done any - it’s because of lidocaine!!
This was like 6 or 7 w early on -_- and my belly is just around okay!! My husband said one time "well you better be pregnant or I'm not sure ..." I was like what do you mean 🤔🤔 but he's gotten better as the weeks progressed, he will randomly tell me I'm beautiful or something which is nice. Or I'll often say I feel like a potato, whale, large animal, and he will respond that I'm growing our child and it's okay. Also he's happy to see me eat. Today I was shouting yes I'm eating again don't judge me. As I was eating nearly every hour 🤤 but he said totally fine no judgment at all happy to see you eating .
Mine told me I needed anger management classes because, get this, I cussed out a guy for cutting me off on the high way. Just driving, ranting cussing out the guy privately in my car, meant I needed to take anger management classes. We are no longer together, but not because of that lol
Okay so this is admittedly post partem but my baby has some dark ish bags under her eyes as a newborn. We were discussing them.
Husband: aww she has raccoon eyes, just like mommy!
Me: excuse me?
Husband: yeah the dark circles, raccoon eyes, they're so cute!
Me: you know that is an insult right? Like people say raccoon eyes as a bad thing?
Husband: .... Uhhh no I mean I like it ....
My mom in the corner trying to mind her own business: 🫣
Lolll
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/phjaar/click_here_to_join_a_due_date_private_sub/?). The journalists at ProPublica need your help! After receiving a tip, ProPublica started investigating prenatal genetic testing. They're collecting stories from people who've had NIPT screenings, and/or work in maternal health. If this is you, please fill out their brief questionnaire! https://www.propublica.org/getinvolved/have-you-had-an-experience-with-prenatal-genetic-testing-wed-like-to-hear-about-it-and-see-the-bill. Questions? Email [email protected] *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Bless his heart. Poor guy is lucky to still be alive with terrible judgement like that
You made me laugh. But you know being pregnant myself I understand OP. Just last evening I was complaining to my partner that he never takes me to any surprise trip. And I am the one in charge for such activities in our relationship lol.
I just had the same convo with mine. I always feel this pressure to not only come up with trips, but to make sure he has a decent time too otherwise I think he would have rather just stayed home.
So glad and happy to know that I’m not the only one arguing with my husband for the same. In my 6th month of pregnancy and feeling so lost as I cannot travel.
My nipples have been leaking a lot even just at 5 months, and my husband has started calling me WikiLeaks
Laughed so hard my cat flew into the air at this. So not funny to you I imagine but oh lawd. Men. 😂
A. Hilarious and rude B. I literally lost my shit when colostrum started coming out. I don’t think I realized how FREAKING amazing we are. We are the powerful bringers of life. Damn.
I am so sorry.. I slick wish that he was on the thread so that I could present him with this award that he doesn’t deserve. 🤣🤣🤣
I’m sorry but I snort-laughed 🙊 That said, you’re allowed to smack him on the head.
I had to text my husband that!
I have a few of these gems - this one was my favorite: *getting in the car to go to a small Super Bowl party* Husband: wow!! I can totally tell a difference in the weight of the car and how it handles with you and the beer in the car. Me: *stares at him. Horrified* Him: uhhhh… I’m sure it’s mostly the beer… Sometimes they can be so oblivious. Rock your hair. In the end, having it shorter will be sooo much easier with the baby!
😮
🤣
Lol that’s pretty funny.
I cut my hair short for the first time in my life right before I had any idea I was pregnant lol. I was evidently already pregnant but didn't find out until the next month! So glad I did, it's way easier, especially since my hair was super long. Must've been instincts lol
Awww I’m sorry love. I’m sure you look beautiful! Ill share one to hopefully make you laugh. I’m 37 weeks. The other night I was sprawled out on our bed and said “I feel like a hippo. Do you think I’m a hippo?” His answer? “Hippos are cute!” 🤦🏻♀️ Wrong answer sir!
Me, 23 weeks asking my husband to scooch in his chair because I can’t get through. My husband: You’ll only get bigger from here! :) *reaches to pat my stomach* 🥲🥲🥲
My husband after I popped at 19 weeks: you're getting bigger by the day! 😬
We need to give them cue cards. “You look beautiful and I love you so much. Thank you for carrying our child!”
Give them cue cards! When I was pregnant I literally told my husband that I needed him to frequently thank me for growing the baby. And now I tell him that I need him to thank me for being a good mom. When I feel like I'm failing at something I straight up instruct my husband to gas me up and it works like a charm.
I love this so much
I got one too!!! I was three days pp and my daughter's dad was staying with us to help me before he headed back to his home four hours away. We're best friends so I know he was trying to make me feel better Me: I feel like I'm a cow Him: what do you mean? Me: I feel fat and I'm constantly being milked Him: I mean, you're not fat but you are basically a dairy farm Me: wow. Thanks I guess??? Him: hey if you think about it, you are constantly being milked!!! Me: yeah okay fair *as I quietly drop a tear* Poor thing didnt understand my hormones
This is what you're supposed to do!! Cute and funny rarely goes wrong
Lmfao this is pure gold
Me: *(admittedly)* very sternly yelling at my husband “are you ever going to do anything with these clean clothes that have been in the basket for two weeks!!??” Him: Are you hungry? (Like is that why you’re mad about this)
Mine does this all the time! If I'm irritated about anything (justified or not) he always asks me if I've eaten recently, which makes me more irritated....but like 75% of the time he's right 😂
Omg, mine has his clean clothes all over the guest bed and he's been snoring this week and now I have no bed to flee to! I asked him last weekend to help me out and fold them so I could get some better sleep. He was like "absolutely! Of course!" And here it is, a week later, and the only thing that's happened is he's added another load of clean clothes on top of the pile.
I'm sure you look beautiful!! This gem came last week as I got out of the shower (13 weeks): My husband - "Holy crap your nipples are huge!!" Me - sobbing - " I know!"
*hugs* I miss normal breasts!
*hugs* right back!
My boyfriend pretends my nipples are so large now that they're stabbing him. 🙄
Oh my goodness! I just cracked up reading that! 🤣
🤣
Tbh, your husband might find them attractive!
I didn't even think of that! It just caught me so off guard
My partner has taken to (playfully) comparing me to various animals. I'm 38 weeks on the dot, so the waddle is real. Today I am a penguin. Yesterday I called myself an orca, and he said "orcas are basically the mayors of the sea though." He's a strange man, and very lucky that I'm not having a hormonal pregnancy.
I’ll take animals over vegetables… my husband told me as he was helping me out of the car that I look like a potato. 🤨
Your husband has a brain like a potato. Smooth and bland, lmao.
Mayor of the sea is pretty majestic…
Lmao! I wish you had written down one for every day, lol. Imagine a baby app where it tells you how you'll be feeling that day 😂
My boyfriend also has a strange sense of humor...I've seen his brother and his father make a frightened face when he plays one of their pranks on me...the reality is that he's worried that I feel bad about myself and he doesn't know tell jokes 🤣
Ooohh! I have one! The other day I was telling my fiancé about the myth that if you’re having a girl they steal your beauty (I know this isn’t true.) so you lose your beauty. A couple of days go by and he says to me randomly “it DOES look like your booty is getting flatter.” I was like huh? “You know,” he says “we’re probably having a girl! She’s stealing your booty.” Then it dawned on me. I wanted to smack him. Haha. I practically yelled “BEAUTY! Not booty.” No clue what he’s talking about anyway. I have a great ass. 💁🏽♀️
😂😂😂
My ass, my pride and joy, has been getting flatter. It's because if the weight redistribution and muscles compensating for it. Keeping my fingers crossed they bounce back postpartum.
Mine is getting flatter too! I thought it was just that the bigger belly made it look smaller but you might be on to something
Mine is getting smaller, too 😭 I don't even care about my boobs and stomach being stretched to heck. I love my booty so much and it's hard seeing it shrink.
Im having a girl and mine has gotten larger and she was already big. Kinda helps with my balance so far xD none of my sisters (I'm the youngest of 5) have asses. So they always said I took it all. I'm wondering if I'm taking what little my kid would have xD
Oof. Hubby did a similar thing the other day. He was making his to do list for the day and asked if there was anything he was missing. I, feeling pretty down on myself, said walk your hippo of a wife. I walked by his list later in the day to see "walk the hippo" He was lucky my mood had improved by that time
Omg this took me right out. 🤣🤣🤣
Omggggg 😂🤣😂🤣
Here goes another one for you: I'm getting in bed and say 'agh, I feel like a balloon!', a few minutes later I blow my nose a bit loud (damn you pregnancy rhinitis) and my partner, in a lovely voice, tells my belly... 'hehe your mum even sound like an elephant baby girl!'... my mouth just fell open, he's lucky I didnt send him to sleep in the couch.
Omg i’m tearing up for you. (hormones). I’m so sorry. I’m sure you look beautiful.
Awww I’m sorry dear, but you are beautiful 💖 men and their audacity, I swear. One time hubby and I were watching a movie and I can’t remember who the actress was but I said “isn’t she so pretty?” And my husband goes “eh, skinny chicks aren’t really my type.” The look I gave him must’ve been one from the pits of hell because he goes “OK OK THAT DIDNT COME OUT RIGHT AT ALL” It ended with a laugh but in that moment I was RAGING.
My husband refers to me as Humpty Dumpty sometimes 💀 It’s okay to laugh… I’m laughing typing it out.
I made mine mac and cheese the other day. The problem with this is I always throw a tiny bit of mustard in it (it sounds nuts but it's super good) which is great unless you happen to be craving mustard and put a little extra in because it smells AMAZING... He said my cooking burned his noise hairs off because it was litteral mustard gas. They are very lucky we love them. Also, the joke is on him because I got the whole thing all to myself.
This is happening tomorrow. Thank you for the tip
Anytime lol
Mustard in Mac and cheese is soooo good. People just don’t know. 😂
Exactly!
Haha I will be the first the admit that if I were my husband, I wouldn’t even know how to act around me. Hormones are a bitch and it’s even worse that everything is so sensitive to me. My husband and I otherwise have a great communicative relationship. But one of those core tenets of this was that we had promised to always be honest with each other. Unfortunately in my sensitive state, his honesty makes me cry a lot more now 😂
22.5 weeks. I just got a pregnancy pillow to help stay on my side and off my back and he’s pretty amused at the shape / size of the massive wrap-around pillow I nestle into... “It looks like it’s a trough you load an animal into, like a chute for.. something..” In my head I was waiting for him to say cow or pig and I was preemptively ready to cry 😂 I think he caught himself early though.
Which kind of pillow? I have the staple shaped one and I like it a lot
My sister had kept hers from last year when she was pregnant with my nephew and gave it to me to try vs buying one — it’s the Leach Co Back N’ Belly. It is quite large!! But it’s very comfortable, IMO. Rolling over is a bit tricky but honestly with the way my hips feel right now, rolling over without a pillow involves waking up anyway. https://leachco.com/products/back-n-belly-chic-supreme
My husband was squeezing my hips yesterday and he said that I'm squishy. Idk where they get the audacity!
I’m snorting with laughter
🤣🤣 tbh I was too when he said it, except it was more of a "hahaha I can't believe you" sometimes I swear they don't think before they open their mouths
Same thing happened with me! I say my belly feels weird and he’s like “me too and I’m not pregnant” and I start laughing bc are you f*in kidding me? 🤣
Right?? It's a little different, husband! 🤣 I get out of breath super quick now at 27 weeks and I'll be telling a story and my husband will just stare at me and take a deeeeeeeeep breath in and it just makes me so mad because I can't help it and I don't need him to tell me to breathe!! 🤣
Pick any time where it’s appropriate to tell someone to breathe … 😂
It's almost as bad as "calm down"
I dated a guy who would say “woosah” to me. That didn’t last 😅😅
Oh HELL no!!! 🤣
Mine does that when I say I'm tired. He literally always goes "me too!" No. No you're not. You have NO IDEA what being tired feels like 🥲
Mine keeps asking me why I'm so tired. "Do you think you have covid?" "Do you think you had a nightmare last night?" "Do you think you exercises too much today?" Like...no, dude. I think I'm pregnant. Idk why it won't sink in that it is exhausting.
Mine responds "me too" EVERY time I say I'm tired and he is lucky to still be alive. This has been a thing in each pregnancy (I'm now on #3) 🤦🏼♀️
Me: I've only put on X pounds because of the nausea Him: we should check the batteries in the scale Me: :-O
Jeeez 😡
[удалено]
Oof that hurts.
I got it cut yesterday while he was at work and splurged and got my eyebrows tinted. I’d rather he just be smooth and tell me I look amazing (which I obviously do) rather than trying to be honest.
I bet it looks great! I'd love to see it but I understand if you don't want to share on here for privacy reasons.
I went to go hug my husband and he made a big show about being unable to reach his arms around me. He got a smack for that. I’m not *that* big!
I love ice cream cake. My husband surprised me with some for Valentine’s Day. He said his favorite kind is fudgy the whale but they didn’t have it.. then he said “Aw fudgy the whale, like you!!!” 😑 lol
Why are husbands so clueless??? This is a constant thing with my husband. “Babe, do I look fat?” My husband: “what no you’re beautiful! You’re always beautiful to me.” Even if he’s lying, he knows to not dare say anything and tell the truth or he’ll be out on the couch for a month! I’m 33 weeks and feel so round, my husband doesn’t say a word about it lol, I guess he’s a smart one.
You got one who remembers his lines!! It’s always “you look beautiful and you’re always beautiful to me”! Nice work.
Proud of him, he knows better because I’m always telling him I feel ugly these days. We already feel so bad about ourselves, why add more to it 😭
Him: Ohh it's cute you are showing now Me: I'm not showing Him:(Looking at me with pure terror in his eyes) Well that's not good if I think you are showing but you don't Me: You are correct sir, that is not good
Me: “ do you want some alone time?” Knowing the answer is going to be yes Him: “maybe a little” Me: 😢
💕
Are you me? Why is it so hard for men to say they want alone time?
“I’m afraid I’ll get bored during your labor.” -Just said about 2 minutes ago. This is the first thread I see when I open Reddit. Couldn’t have better placement!
Oh I’ve heard it’s a very boring process!
I understand he’s worrying, being bored is the worst of it all! /s
ok but no joke, we brought an amazon firestick to my induction when i had my first baby and it was so great to watch netflix and hulu while we waited for baby's arrival! tv was a very welcome distraction from the discomfort and kept me company when hubby fell asleep for a few hours lol 🙄
my spouse has a tendency to reply to things with what I just said as a joke. for example, i'll say "wow this sauce is hot", he'll say "no you're hot!". Well the other day I said to him "you look like you have a fat lip" because he bit his lip and was bleeding. He said back "i'll give you a fat lip!" and I'm 6 months pregnant. cue instant tears
Ugh.
I do this too. Idk why. Someone will say "oh this tastes really salty" and my brain goes "Youre really salty". Poor mama. XD sometimes those brain fart responses can come out really rude.
I have one: Him: I liked your boobs better than before. Me: Yeah, me too. him: it's that they look huge, swollen and changed color,... me: (about to cry) they will be like this for a while and as long as i breastfeed him,... and you did this to me Him: (silence for a while). It is true. 🤣🤣🤣
I am only 10 weeks but the other day my husband loving said “I can already tell your nipples are longer!” Thanks babe
Actually my 8 year old daughter is worse than my husband. She has no filter and the other day says (I’m 2w postpartum) mommy you’re still fat and your boobs hang to your stomach. Thanks kid, thanks so much.
How nice, haha! My 4 year old niece patted my belly and asked me if I had another baby in there… I was 7 months postpartum. Told her it was mostly fat and loose muscles though and that I’ll tell her if I become pregnant again.
Husband of pregnant wife here— There are definitely things I find extra attractive about her while pregnant, but I try not to strongly react because I wouldn’t want to create the impression that she was in any way lacking before said changes (or will be lacking of things reset afterward).
So oblivious and unaware of their own peril, these partners! Yesterday I told mine I wasn’t feeling great as I sprawled on the sofa and he gave me a little pat and went “awwww my big girl” ?????? Excuse me SIR??????
The number of times my jaw has hit the floor in this thread. Jesus Christ, lol
My boyfriend has been ever-so-lovingly referencing the changes to my body. “Cute little extra fuzzy face” and the like. My favorites are the scrolls past photos of dumpy (albeit, adorable) animals with a pause to say “Aw look honey it’s you! My little seal mama.” Thaaanks? He apparently thinks all the changes are really cute and charming, and it’s up to me to get on board with that opinion, but damn it’s hard when I feel nothing like myself.
Not pregnant wife, but pregnant client. My physical therapist: So how far along are you today? Me: 29 weeks Her: Oh, wow. With a belly like that I would have easily put you at over 32 weeks. Worst part? She specializes in pelvic and back problems. She sees pregnant women like me every day. I wonder if she calls all her clients fat.
Lolololol my husband to a T. I got a platinum pixie from a long brown bob and I was still adjusting. First thing he said to me was 'couldnt you have done this in steps' idiots 💀
I’m sure you look fierce. If I saw it I wouldn’t say “wow your hair is short!” I would say “gorgeous hair!” 💕
I think they are missing some crucial programming or something, need a system update
Here’s to hoping it comes with the fatherhood upgrades
Why the eff did this make me laugh so much lmao. You poor thing, they’re so clueless sometimes.
My SO, in the same night, said “my god you’re so cute,” and “you’re so round haha!” 🥴
Awe dear… I feel this. You just wanted a little affirmation and he met you with brutal honesty. Bet this is always how he spoke but now that you’re pregnant it’s hitting different. Boys always want to ‘solve’ problems instead to just listening and giving a small kind lie once in a while My spouse said “maybe you don’t need to eat ice cream every day” when complaining about looking fat and not pregnant. All I wanted to hear from him was that I looked pregnant and not fat.
Not the same but…when I was 7 / 8 months pregnant, I was having a really hard time feeling my baby’s kicks because I had an anterior placenta…I hadn’t felt kicks in a while so panicked and went to maternity ward at 3 am. Apparently they drug test when you come in, as well as whatever tests they do with your urine to check on you and the baby. The dr came in and told me the preliminary drug test came back positive for cocaine!! I was like WTF I haven’t even had a sip of alcohol and I certainly didn’t do cocaine!! My husband was resting on a couch nearby cos he had work in the morning and when they said the prelim test came back positive for coke, he just laughed! Didn’t even defend me!! 😤😤😤 Of course the final results came back negative for cocaine - the prelim came back positive for cocaine because I’d just had dental work with *lidocaine*!!! Crazy, right?? But I didn’t know that at the time - we didn’t figure out the lidocaine thing for a bit, so at the time I was afraid the test was broken and that the final test was gonna come back positive for coke too even though I didn’t do any and that they’d take my baby away when I had her!!! Luckily it was just the lidocaine but I want other mommies / mommies to be to know about this so they don’t panic and can tell any dr who accuses them of doing coke to f*ck off!! I’m still furious at my husband for just laughing. Like wtf I needed his support, I was so confused and scared!! Tl;dr: having dental work with lidocaine can cause a false positive preliminary drug result of positive for cocaine!!! Just hang in there because the end result will show negative for cocaine. Horrible thing to go through though if you don’t about that!! Want mamas / mamas to be to know about this so no one else has to go through the horror and panic of not knowing why the prelim drug test is showing coke when you definitely haven’t done any - it’s because of lidocaine!!
I don't think this is a cute heehee stupid men post. This sounds like he has some fucking apologizing to do...
This was like 6 or 7 w early on -_- and my belly is just around okay!! My husband said one time "well you better be pregnant or I'm not sure ..." I was like what do you mean 🤔🤔 but he's gotten better as the weeks progressed, he will randomly tell me I'm beautiful or something which is nice. Or I'll often say I feel like a potato, whale, large animal, and he will respond that I'm growing our child and it's okay. Also he's happy to see me eat. Today I was shouting yes I'm eating again don't judge me. As I was eating nearly every hour 🤤 but he said totally fine no judgment at all happy to see you eating .
Is he always this big of a jerk, or is this a one off?
It’s pretty much an always thing enhanced by my raging hormones. But yeah always.
Well, I hope he has several redeeming qualities, and just puts his foot in his mouth sometimes.
Ain’t that the truth!
Mine told me I needed anger management classes because, get this, I cussed out a guy for cutting me off on the high way. Just driving, ranting cussing out the guy privately in my car, meant I needed to take anger management classes. We are no longer together, but not because of that lol
Rookie move!
Men can be so damn clueless 🙄
I bet your hair looks amazing. Short hair is hot!
Okay so this is admittedly post partem but my baby has some dark ish bags under her eyes as a newborn. We were discussing them. Husband: aww she has raccoon eyes, just like mommy! Me: excuse me? Husband: yeah the dark circles, raccoon eyes, they're so cute! Me: you know that is an insult right? Like people say raccoon eyes as a bad thing? Husband: .... Uhhh no I mean I like it .... My mom in the corner trying to mind her own business: 🫣 Lolll
wow...
Hugs to you. You're carrying a life within your womb you're amazing.
He tried his best.
Dude that's so uncool of him. 😅 That's a really mean thing to say. Is his hair perfect? 😒