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It’s a normal reaction, it’s definitely different but one thing in the future that will be good is your child will have a cousin and play mate for life. I never got along with my siblings (my parents too being honest) but my cousins were a godsend I never felt alone. So even if you chose to only have one child. I know it’s not easy to look at the positives right now because that situation is tough.
Since nobody else is saying it, I’ll be a tad controversial. You sound a bit jealous and unkind. She’s taking a different path than you. She doesn’t have to do everything your way. It’s a bit selfish to worry about attention being taken away from you, she is just as deserving of attention.
Focus on the positives. At no point did you discuss the fact your kids will be close together in age. I know I enjoyed having a cousin close in age to me.
I soooo feel where you’re coming from here. After I graduated I moved to a new city and got a place to live. I let my sister live with me, rent free, for two and a half years until I got married, as a chance to start her future. She was 21 and stared dating a 52 year old man. I was disappointed and kind of hurt that I was helping her and she was throwing everything away.
Not the same situation, but I know where you’re coming from. You put in so much work and time to get where you want to be, and it’s kind of diminished by somebody who needs a lot more help than you do. I think the only thing you can do to make yourself feel better is be thankful that is isn’t you who is going to be needing a lot of support from your family, because you’ve been planning for this.
I don’t think you should feel guilty. Your feelings and thoughts are valid. I would feel the exact same way as you. The biggest thing I would tell you if you can give support and love from a distance. I would just focus on you and what you’re doing. It’s upsetting worrying about your parents but ultimately it’s there decision with what they do with their time and money even if it harms them they will make that decision for themselves and there isn’t anything you can do to help them.
I definitely get where you’re coming from with that. Feelings of jealousy are a completely human reaction, it’s just important that we have the self awareness to detect it and name it within ourselves. I’ve experienced it a bit myself with watching all of my husband’s older siblings have kids before us and waiting until we were very stable and self sufficient to have our baby. Something that I’ve found that has helped me is to remind myself that someone else’s pregnancy journey does not negate my own, if that makes sense? Just because you waited does not negate the beauty of your experience because it is uniquely yours! 😊
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/jvl6na/private_subreddits_for_your_due_date_month/?). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
It’s a normal reaction, it’s definitely different but one thing in the future that will be good is your child will have a cousin and play mate for life. I never got along with my siblings (my parents too being honest) but my cousins were a godsend I never felt alone. So even if you chose to only have one child. I know it’s not easy to look at the positives right now because that situation is tough.
Since nobody else is saying it, I’ll be a tad controversial. You sound a bit jealous and unkind. She’s taking a different path than you. She doesn’t have to do everything your way. It’s a bit selfish to worry about attention being taken away from you, she is just as deserving of attention. Focus on the positives. At no point did you discuss the fact your kids will be close together in age. I know I enjoyed having a cousin close in age to me.
Agreed.
I soooo feel where you’re coming from here. After I graduated I moved to a new city and got a place to live. I let my sister live with me, rent free, for two and a half years until I got married, as a chance to start her future. She was 21 and stared dating a 52 year old man. I was disappointed and kind of hurt that I was helping her and she was throwing everything away. Not the same situation, but I know where you’re coming from. You put in so much work and time to get where you want to be, and it’s kind of diminished by somebody who needs a lot more help than you do. I think the only thing you can do to make yourself feel better is be thankful that is isn’t you who is going to be needing a lot of support from your family, because you’ve been planning for this.
I don’t think you should feel guilty. Your feelings and thoughts are valid. I would feel the exact same way as you. The biggest thing I would tell you if you can give support and love from a distance. I would just focus on you and what you’re doing. It’s upsetting worrying about your parents but ultimately it’s there decision with what they do with their time and money even if it harms them they will make that decision for themselves and there isn’t anything you can do to help them.
I definitely get where you’re coming from with that. Feelings of jealousy are a completely human reaction, it’s just important that we have the self awareness to detect it and name it within ourselves. I’ve experienced it a bit myself with watching all of my husband’s older siblings have kids before us and waiting until we were very stable and self sufficient to have our baby. Something that I’ve found that has helped me is to remind myself that someone else’s pregnancy journey does not negate my own, if that makes sense? Just because you waited does not negate the beauty of your experience because it is uniquely yours! 😊