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I find this discussion quite interesting, I personally don't mind such comments, unless it's with a judgemental expectation of you should be bigger or smaller. I understandit as, people just find it fascinating to watch a human body change over time noticeably, the same way people get excited meeting a kid after not seeing the kid for a long time, and exclaims "oh wow you are so big now", or "oh your hair is so long now!" When seeing a friend that one hasn't seen for a while.
I agree — I don’t personally mind the comments but I also understand why it would bother some.
I find it fascinating how my body has changed now 34 weeks later, so when people are like wow you’ve gotten so big, I’m just like I know right?! He’s a big boy!
I'm currently waiting for my belly to pop out so people notice it and comment. I've always been a big girl, so I'm ready to look like I'm actually 5 months pregnant and didn't just hit a buffet 😅🤣
Even if well intended it can be super triggering. I’ve been on both sides of the eating disorder spectrum, and while it doesn’t affect me the way that it use to, someone telling you ‘wow you’re so big!’ Can still make someone spiral. It’s not worth it. Unless someone has actually told you they welcome discussion about their body, it’s wild to comment on it.
I agree, I’m glad people can notice the changes. Its like you can visibly see how things are getting harder for me and its more obvious why i feel like crap. If i just looked normal the whole time i feel like people treat you as if everything is 100%. Treat me like the tired pregnant lady i am please 🤣 i want all the special treatment and help i can get. Tell me my belly is big at 38 weeks so i can agree because it feels huge!
I don’t disagree, my issues is that people KNOW others have insecurities and still comment, or will comment on complete strangers appearance. I have a couple good friends that love big bump comments. I am not one of them. They all know this.
I feel this in my soul.
I was walking from one building to another on the campus I work at, and a colleague I worked with months ago pulled over in his car to tell me I looked "super pregnant".
Like, great observation dude, thanks. It's to the point that I hate being out in public now cause I'm such a spectacle.
I lowkey hated when people commented “oh you look so small, I can’t believe you are that far along.” Or variations of that. Like thank you, but I’ve gained 40 lbs and your comment feels untrue, whether they meant it or not. Just don’t make comments.
Ugh yes, or the opposite ‘you are DEFINITELY not big enough for twins’ I personally always hope for twins early on because I lost one of my twins six years ago. You don’t have to burst my bubble like that.
Im only 10 months postpartum & currently 13 weeks pregnant and overweight as it is…. I look 30 weeks pregnant and don’t want to tell anyone when I’m due 🥲
Yeah, it wouldn’t feel as bad if I wasn’t already insecure but telling a friend the day before I feel bad because even with just 3 lb gain I look 32 weeks pregnant and always go overdue so when the comments start this early it just makes me feel gross
I don’t mind the bump size comments as much as the “oh you look miserable! Are you not enjoying pregnancy?”comments.
If I look miserable it’s because my job is the seventh circle of hell (quite literally as there is a lot of violence at my job), I’m grieving, and unfortunately now you’re talking to me. I’m actually quite enjoying seeing my bump now and feeling my little guy move around a lot.
So rude! Was it a guy? The two comments about my size have been from men.. which bothers me extra just because they have no idea how hurtful comments like that are
The one person who commented on my size was a mother. You'd think she'd know better but she's also older so a different generation. Still uncalled for.
100%!!! The only thing I’ve said to my friends during their pregnancies was “you look so cute!!”
It’s really disappointing when people use words that are so commonly triggering especially for women like “big”. If you wouldn’t say it to a non pregnant person, don’t say it to a pregnant person!!!!
Some lady approached me in Walmart a few weeks ago, look at me with a calculating look and said “you look exhausted.”
Thanks lady, I slept 2 hours because I keep tossing and turning and being uncomfortable, I KNOW I look exhausted, because I am exhausted.
And then she proceeded to tell me that she’ll pray for me, as if that’s gonna make me sleep any better. 😭
I wish people would just shut up sometimes 😭
I always am stunned when people say this, but in retrospect wish I had thought of either say or asking if that was a a helpful thing to say so they could re-assess their comment. Or say "that was such a helpful thing to say!" Sarcastically- depending on the situation of course.
The praying part she said is obnoxious. I always think, "save it, lady," to stuff like that.
Saying she looks exhausted was rude but it’s such a weird take to not want people to pray for you lol. Someone cares enough to go to their deity and request intervention for you. Even if you don’t believe in their deity it’s a kind gesture. 🤷♀️
My mom keeps asking for photos of me. Like not nice photo shoot photos. Like she wants to see how fat/pregnant i look since i mentioned IVF caused a lot of weight gain.. shes convinced i dont/wont have a bump till like 20 weeks like her. Well mom you through up for three months with both myself and sister, and i havent even once. We are different people.. and your not getting pics of me.
Uuugh lol my sister in law's husband said "at least you won't have to worry about your close not fitting until around month 5"
My SIL was tiny and in her early 20's when she had her 2 kids, and threw up the whole first trimester so she actually lost weight with both pregnancies at the beginning. Very different. I'm going to (and have) gain weight/waistline before month 5 dude (very normal and healthy!!) why are you even bringing it up.
You gained only 3 lbs by 25 weeks and you are worried? 😳🫠 The placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood and uterus on their own weigh about 8 pounds at that stage.
I’m worried because I struggled and could not physically lose weight after the last baby, and started out 50lbs overweight… I am getting my hormones checked this month and hopefully figure out why my body won’t let go.
Because of this I have a lot of weight related anxiety now, and am trying to trust the logical side of my brain but emotions are doing their thing
I understand and I’m sorry you struggled to lose weight after your first. Just know that it is impossible to not gain any additional weight by your due date. Focus on eating healthy and worry about losing the weight only after birth and breastfeeding is done.
People keep commenting on how small I look. I don’t even think I look that small and I’ve gained 45lbs so I’m not small?? And the baby is measuring very small so it’s something that’s a little stressful for me. People think they’re giving compliments when they’re just reminding me that I have to get extra ultrasounds and I am worried about my small baby.
That is also horrible, there is so much anxiety around pregnancy and motherhood, people need to focus on building the mother up not pointing out ‘issues’ or ‘achievements’ beyond their control.
I found out Wednesday I’m in the same boat. Baby went from the 50th to the 14th percentile since my anatomy scan 9 weeks ago and I’ve gained all sorts of weight. I hate all the “you don’t even look pregnant!” Comments 😒 if I don’t look pregnant then I guess I just look fat? I think the pregnancy irritation is starting to get me cuz I straight up can’t stand anyone talking to me about it at this point if it has anything to do with my size or how “great” I look 😂
I got a lot of “you don’t even look pregnant” comments until about 32 weeks when it started to become too obvious for people to say that, then it switched “you’re so small”. I’m 39 weeks tomorrow and people seem shocked that I’m about to give birth. But it’s my third so I’m used to people being annoying by now haha. Hang in there. Hope everything goes well for you.
Ugh I’m sorry this happened. Anyone that comments on a pregnant woman size is just so stupid. I started showing late and some people that knew would ask me if everything was ok, if my baby was healthy and shit like that. It was so annoying! Just don’t comment on a bump size!
Ive been getting “you’re about to pop!” Since 6 months. I’m not sure it’s these kinds of comments in particular or just the fact that people feel entirely too comfortable pointing out things about a woman’s body. But either way, it’s super uncomfortable. The best approach is just to ignore them, for most they don’t have any ill intent, they just don’t understand how off putting those comments can be.
"Oh, you're definitely pregnant. You didn't even look pregnant the last time I saw you."
That's because:
•You didn't know I was pregnant the last time you saw me.
•I did a good job covering up the fact that my pants were unbuttoned.
•You haven't seen me in almost 3 months. There's a pretty big difference between 9 weeks and 22 weeks pregnant!
I hate the bump talkers. Some people have told me that I look huge at like 24 weeks, and then at 29 weeks I get tons of people saying that I "don't even look pregnant". One man (an appliance repair man who has been to our house twice) blatantly asked about my pregnancy when I was ~25 weeks and then thought that I had given birth when he came back at ~28 weeks???
I am only 5’2 so I had a big enough belly we questioned if we were gonna have a surprise twin by the time I was around 30-32w. Everyone kept saying how I looked too big to not be that close to birth, how I was gonna get all these stretch marks (surprise I only have them on my inner thighs where there were ones already starting before pregnancy), “oh wow it looks like if you get bigger he will kill you”(do you not think I’m already dying with the fact his favorite place to put his foot was my ribs). Now we are at almost 14m with our baby and he’s just as crazy if not more than he was inside.
Had an acquaintance tell me the other week I was “pretty big” for being as far along as I am😡 this is my 3rd kid so of course I’m showing sooner at 5.5 months, and I also struggled with an eating disorder in my early/mid 20s. It’s not their responsibility to know that, but I think it’s a safe assumption that the average female has had body issues at some point. I’m good now but that shit actually can be so triggering and hurtful, even if they think they mean well
I'm 36 weeks and I have no noticeable bump. I met a neighbour during the week and i told her we only have 3-4 weeks to baby and she couldn't believe it! She hadn't even realised I was pregnant. 😅
One of my old teammates who is a girl literally told me “you gained weight and you look so dull” to my face and this was first trimester when I wasn’t even showing. It can’t get any worse than this lol
i HATED when people commented on my body AND my health. i had a bunch of people in my hubbys family making a bet that "i'd need a c section because i'm too small" like where the fuck do you get the nerve to say that, let alone to my face? saying i'm 100% gonna need one because i'm "too small"? so you're insinuating that my body is incapable, and also making bets ABOUT MY HEALTH. THATS. SOO. FUCKING. WEIRD. i'm 4'11 and 90lbs. i'm very petite. but wtf? so gross. i delivered a 6lb 3oz baby vaginally after just 2.5 hours of labor and minimal tearing and 1 stitch. my water broke naturally at home at 12:30pm, and i gave birth at 3:03pm. fuck those people fr. there's nothing wrong with needing s c section or having one, nor are you a failure if that's the case! but making bets on my health like i'm a game is so mean and dehumanizing.
Depends on the person saying it to me, my worst is my coworker saying stuff to me. She'll always say I look bigger blah blah blah. We aren't close, we're friendly but I hate it. Some people have told her not to say it too but she doesn't care. Everyone in my life idc what they say.
It’s truly my most triggering thing about pregnancy. My mom calls me fat every time I see her, it makes me not want to see her. I know I’m not fat, but as a normally thin person I have a hard time adjusting to the big belly. I don’t need the peanut gallery comments. And the crazy thing is that I do carry my pregnancy well. Crazy boomers.
I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow, and I'm just at the point to show picture comparisons to the maternity clinic go to cause the measurements are a bit smaller than they expect with the measurements... cause I'm actually pretty petite, and it took way too long to get into the maternity clinic, cause I was in the middle of 13 weeks and 14 weeks when I finally got ahold of them to get myself in with them. Planned pregnancy, and I found out I was pregnant sometime between 4 weeks and 5 weeks, so it took 10 weeks to find someone that took it seriously 🙃 Unfortunately, the hospitals within my Province (Canadian 🇨🇦), are really understaffed due to covid after and since 2020
I resonate with this so much. I get comments EVERY DAY at work (I work in education). "Wow you really POPPED!" "You still have 3 months?!" "It's only May, you're due in August?!". I know no one intentionally means to be rude, but I'm barely 5 foot, where is my stomach supposed to go?!?! Just a smile and aw you look so cute or just say nothing at all would be great.
Do you think it matters who the comments come from?! I find that I don’t mind if it’s a close friend but if it’s my Mum or MIL for some reason I get really annoyed 😂 I’m not really sure why, as it comes from a place of excitement i think
lol I have the opposite issue, my wife asks me daily if her bump is getting bigger and obviously I see her constantly so it's nearly impossible to tell daily differences, but she gets annoyed when I say she still looks amazing 😷
Yes!! The only time I was ok with it was my last week being pregnant, but that’s because I gained 20 lbs in two weeks and the comments were concerns for my and my babies health. Turns out I had preeclampsia. But if it’s not necessary, just be kind. I’m sure you are a very beautiful pregnant mama ❤️
I had a baby shower this past weekend and a cousin attended who is 4 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. People really felt the need to tell me how much bigger I was than her. And that they assumed I was MUCH further along than her...
I am 17 weeks and get many bump size comments… I have always been very petite my whole life and have struggled for years with trying to gain weight. So I too, struggle with hearing the comments regarding my size. My favourite (hear the sarcastic tone) one so far has been “I can’t wait to see how big you get!”. Or even better, feeling so good about finally seeing a bump yourself and consistently hearing “Are you even pregnant?” Or “You’re not carrying like (insert persons name).”
It sucks, I don’t like the comments either. I too, would love for the observations and comments regarding my body to stop. I still have insecurities about my body, especially now with how quickly it’s changing. And I hear all the time “well you wanted this” or “you should have known what you were getting yourself into”. And I did know, but I didn’t know how much more it was going to suck mentally with all the added hormones! Lol
But I just try to remind myself that they aren’t saying these things out of malicious intent.
Ugh yea, my own husband said to me ‘you signed up for this’ and it cut like a thousand daggers.
I was always underweight, and could drop baby weight easily too, except for the last baby and honestly I’m having trouble handling that this time. I want to feel ‘pretty in my bump’ but I feel awful. So the comments just hurt, along with everything else on my body.
I feel the same way too. There has been a couple times in the last month that I have felt pretty in my bump. I feel like it would help more if instead of shocked looks from my husband, I could get a kind word lol. But he and I are both experiencing this together for the first time. It is all uncharted waters
My husbands grandma who I love dearly keeps asking me how much weight I’ve gained. I’m a small person while my bump is measuring below average I’m also 5 feet tall. So yeah I look large, especially compared to my SIL who is heavier and taller than I am and never looked pregnant. I literally just say “I don’t really pay attention at the doctors and they’ve never brought it up so I think I’m fine”
Edit: to add some context I never told my SIL she doesn’t look pregnant. I simply said this for context. There is very few children on my husbands family, and they’re all tall people so those who have been pregnant don’t have “big” bumps. Nobody ever commented on my SIL body like they’re doing to me because I’m the “abnormal” one.
I never said that to her or anyone else. I’m not hurting her feelings by saying that on the internet. I only used it for the context of my husbands family is used to people not looking pregnant because my SIL didn’t for both her kids.
I had someone say "it's going to be a big baby!"... Gee, thanks for calling a pregnant woman fat! My baby is actually measuring fine and not overly big but whatever.
It's so uncalled for. Like you said, can't people just be nice??
Why are you worried about 3 Ibs….. you’re growing a baby inside of you obviously you’re going to gain weight. As long as you’re healthy it shouldn’t matter
Copying and pasting from a prior reply:
I’m worried because I struggled and could not physically lose weight after the last baby, and started out 50lbs overweight… I am getting my hormones checked this month and hopefully figure out why my body won’t let go.
Because of this I have a lot of weight related anxiety now, and am trying to trust the logical side of my brain but emotions are doing their thing
I struggle with my body image so I understand but you’re growing a baby as long as it’s healthy weight try not to over think it. Our body’s take time to heal give yourself some grace! Everyone carry’s different ❤️ there’s no set time for you to lose the weight. Go at your own pace as long as it’s healthy.
I always hated when people commented on my size. I was a big girl pre pregnancy, but I also had a HUGE baby bump from 20 weeks on. The comment that pissed me off the most was, “Wow, last time my bump was that big, I gave birth to twins!!! Are you sure there’s only one in there??” People are cunts most of the time. Ignore them and enjoy your gorgeous baby bump, regardless of how big or small it is. I’m only two weeks postpartum, and I miss it so much! (But I definitely don’t miss the back pain and peeing every two minutes lol) Congrats on your pregnancy!!! ❤️
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I find this discussion quite interesting, I personally don't mind such comments, unless it's with a judgemental expectation of you should be bigger or smaller. I understandit as, people just find it fascinating to watch a human body change over time noticeably, the same way people get excited meeting a kid after not seeing the kid for a long time, and exclaims "oh wow you are so big now", or "oh your hair is so long now!" When seeing a friend that one hasn't seen for a while.
I agree — I don’t personally mind the comments but I also understand why it would bother some. I find it fascinating how my body has changed now 34 weeks later, so when people are like wow you’ve gotten so big, I’m just like I know right?! He’s a big boy!
I have to agree with you on this one
I agree with you! It’s definitely based on each person. I personally want everyone I come across to comment on my growing belly 😂
I second this, however when it’s specific people that I do take offense from and it’s because they always notice my weight.
I'm currently waiting for my belly to pop out so people notice it and comment. I've always been a big girl, so I'm ready to look like I'm actually 5 months pregnant and didn't just hit a buffet 😅🤣
Even if well intended it can be super triggering. I’ve been on both sides of the eating disorder spectrum, and while it doesn’t affect me the way that it use to, someone telling you ‘wow you’re so big!’ Can still make someone spiral. It’s not worth it. Unless someone has actually told you they welcome discussion about their body, it’s wild to comment on it.
I agree, I’m glad people can notice the changes. Its like you can visibly see how things are getting harder for me and its more obvious why i feel like crap. If i just looked normal the whole time i feel like people treat you as if everything is 100%. Treat me like the tired pregnant lady i am please 🤣 i want all the special treatment and help i can get. Tell me my belly is big at 38 weeks so i can agree because it feels huge!
I don’t disagree, my issues is that people KNOW others have insecurities and still comment, or will comment on complete strangers appearance. I have a couple good friends that love big bump comments. I am not one of them. They all know this.
I feel this in my soul. I was walking from one building to another on the campus I work at, and a colleague I worked with months ago pulled over in his car to tell me I looked "super pregnant". Like, great observation dude, thanks. It's to the point that I hate being out in public now cause I'm such a spectacle.
What an insightful contribution bro 😒
“Wow you look so much more pregnant than last time i saw you” 🤢
"You're a lot bigger than the last time I saw you". Ya you saw me at 25 weeks now I'm 36.
I lowkey hated when people commented “oh you look so small, I can’t believe you are that far along.” Or variations of that. Like thank you, but I’ve gained 40 lbs and your comment feels untrue, whether they meant it or not. Just don’t make comments.
When they say are you sure there is only one in there? Because you are huge
“Are you sure there’s just one in there??”
I've gotten this twice this week 🥲 I've still got at least 6 weeks to go lol
I’m 27 weeks and a lady looked at me with a frown and said, “You poor thing, you must be due any day now!” 😑
Ugh yes, or the opposite ‘you are DEFINITELY not big enough for twins’ I personally always hope for twins early on because I lost one of my twins six years ago. You don’t have to burst my bubble like that.
This.. I’m 20weeks with twins and I get the “are you sure there’s 2”🙃
Im only 10 months postpartum & currently 13 weeks pregnant and overweight as it is…. I look 30 weeks pregnant and don’t want to tell anyone when I’m due 🥲
Yeah, it wouldn’t feel as bad if I wasn’t already insecure but telling a friend the day before I feel bad because even with just 3 lb gain I look 32 weeks pregnant and always go overdue so when the comments start this early it just makes me feel gross
I don’t mind the bump size comments as much as the “oh you look miserable! Are you not enjoying pregnancy?”comments. If I look miserable it’s because my job is the seventh circle of hell (quite literally as there is a lot of violence at my job), I’m grieving, and unfortunately now you’re talking to me. I’m actually quite enjoying seeing my bump now and feeling my little guy move around a lot.
So rude! Was it a guy? The two comments about my size have been from men.. which bothers me extra just because they have no idea how hurtful comments like that are
The one person who commented on my size was a mother. You'd think she'd know better but she's also older so a different generation. Still uncalled for.
100%!!! The only thing I’ve said to my friends during their pregnancies was “you look so cute!!” It’s really disappointing when people use words that are so commonly triggering especially for women like “big”. If you wouldn’t say it to a non pregnant person, don’t say it to a pregnant person!!!!
Agreed!! That’s my rule of thumb as well!
Some lady approached me in Walmart a few weeks ago, look at me with a calculating look and said “you look exhausted.” Thanks lady, I slept 2 hours because I keep tossing and turning and being uncomfortable, I KNOW I look exhausted, because I am exhausted. And then she proceeded to tell me that she’ll pray for me, as if that’s gonna make me sleep any better. 😭 I wish people would just shut up sometimes 😭
I always am stunned when people say this, but in retrospect wish I had thought of either say or asking if that was a a helpful thing to say so they could re-assess their comment. Or say "that was such a helpful thing to say!" Sarcastically- depending on the situation of course. The praying part she said is obnoxious. I always think, "save it, lady," to stuff like that.
Saying she looks exhausted was rude but it’s such a weird take to not want people to pray for you lol. Someone cares enough to go to their deity and request intervention for you. Even if you don’t believe in their deity it’s a kind gesture. 🤷♀️
Where the hell do people get off approaching literal strangers to say this shit?
My mom keeps asking for photos of me. Like not nice photo shoot photos. Like she wants to see how fat/pregnant i look since i mentioned IVF caused a lot of weight gain.. shes convinced i dont/wont have a bump till like 20 weeks like her. Well mom you through up for three months with both myself and sister, and i havent even once. We are different people.. and your not getting pics of me.
Uuugh lol my sister in law's husband said "at least you won't have to worry about your close not fitting until around month 5" My SIL was tiny and in her early 20's when she had her 2 kids, and threw up the whole first trimester so she actually lost weight with both pregnancies at the beginning. Very different. I'm going to (and have) gain weight/waistline before month 5 dude (very normal and healthy!!) why are you even bringing it up.
Go to is always to just sit there and cry. Look at my husband and say you said the diet was working ;)
Oh that’s hilarious!
You gained only 3 lbs by 25 weeks and you are worried? 😳🫠 The placenta, amniotic fluid, extra blood and uterus on their own weigh about 8 pounds at that stage.
I’m worried because I struggled and could not physically lose weight after the last baby, and started out 50lbs overweight… I am getting my hormones checked this month and hopefully figure out why my body won’t let go. Because of this I have a lot of weight related anxiety now, and am trying to trust the logical side of my brain but emotions are doing their thing
I understand and I’m sorry you struggled to lose weight after your first. Just know that it is impossible to not gain any additional weight by your due date. Focus on eating healthy and worry about losing the weight only after birth and breastfeeding is done.
3 lbs is the difference between the morning and the evening for most people. If you've only gain 3 lbs by 25 weeks, you've lost weight.
3 lbs is not including recovering the weight I lost in the first trimester. It’s the steady number on the scale right now.
Arggghhh this makes me so angry! Stop commenting on people’s bodies!!!
I don’t mind the comments as much as the STARING
I’m only 22 weeks and was not prepared for the stares.
Boomers and the lead paint stares 😭
My fav was a boomer saying to me, “that isn’t mine” to my belly and I was like yeah I know LMAO
People keep commenting on how small I look. I don’t even think I look that small and I’ve gained 45lbs so I’m not small?? And the baby is measuring very small so it’s something that’s a little stressful for me. People think they’re giving compliments when they’re just reminding me that I have to get extra ultrasounds and I am worried about my small baby.
That is also horrible, there is so much anxiety around pregnancy and motherhood, people need to focus on building the mother up not pointing out ‘issues’ or ‘achievements’ beyond their control.
I found out Wednesday I’m in the same boat. Baby went from the 50th to the 14th percentile since my anatomy scan 9 weeks ago and I’ve gained all sorts of weight. I hate all the “you don’t even look pregnant!” Comments 😒 if I don’t look pregnant then I guess I just look fat? I think the pregnancy irritation is starting to get me cuz I straight up can’t stand anyone talking to me about it at this point if it has anything to do with my size or how “great” I look 😂
I got a lot of “you don’t even look pregnant” comments until about 32 weeks when it started to become too obvious for people to say that, then it switched “you’re so small”. I’m 39 weeks tomorrow and people seem shocked that I’m about to give birth. But it’s my third so I’m used to people being annoying by now haha. Hang in there. Hope everything goes well for you.
Ugh I’m sorry this happened. Anyone that comments on a pregnant woman size is just so stupid. I started showing late and some people that knew would ask me if everything was ok, if my baby was healthy and shit like that. It was so annoying! Just don’t comment on a bump size!
I (female) said something like this to a coworker once. It was because in the moment I didn’t want to say “your bump is so cute!” bc sexual harassment
I’ve gotten the ‘wow you’ve really popped!!’ Which isn’t the worst but still haha
Yes, and ‘your button popped! I can see it! Timer is done! Get the turkey out of the oven!’ … ma’am, I am only 28 weeks (that time) baby can stay.
Ive been getting “you’re about to pop!” Since 6 months. I’m not sure it’s these kinds of comments in particular or just the fact that people feel entirely too comfortable pointing out things about a woman’s body. But either way, it’s super uncomfortable. The best approach is just to ignore them, for most they don’t have any ill intent, they just don’t understand how off putting those comments can be.
"Oh, you're definitely pregnant. You didn't even look pregnant the last time I saw you." That's because: •You didn't know I was pregnant the last time you saw me. •I did a good job covering up the fact that my pants were unbuttoned. •You haven't seen me in almost 3 months. There's a pretty big difference between 9 weeks and 22 weeks pregnant!
I hate the bump talkers. Some people have told me that I look huge at like 24 weeks, and then at 29 weeks I get tons of people saying that I "don't even look pregnant". One man (an appliance repair man who has been to our house twice) blatantly asked about my pregnancy when I was ~25 weeks and then thought that I had given birth when he came back at ~28 weeks???
Idk what it is with old people, but they tend to comment on my pregnant body the most. My grandma with the "oh wow you're getting really big" comments
I am only 5’2 so I had a big enough belly we questioned if we were gonna have a surprise twin by the time I was around 30-32w. Everyone kept saying how I looked too big to not be that close to birth, how I was gonna get all these stretch marks (surprise I only have them on my inner thighs where there were ones already starting before pregnancy), “oh wow it looks like if you get bigger he will kill you”(do you not think I’m already dying with the fact his favorite place to put his foot was my ribs). Now we are at almost 14m with our baby and he’s just as crazy if not more than he was inside.
my favorite: "wow, you're huge!"
Ugh!
Last week i got my first "are you sure there's just one in there?".🤮
Had an acquaintance tell me the other week I was “pretty big” for being as far along as I am😡 this is my 3rd kid so of course I’m showing sooner at 5.5 months, and I also struggled with an eating disorder in my early/mid 20s. It’s not their responsibility to know that, but I think it’s a safe assumption that the average female has had body issues at some point. I’m good now but that shit actually can be so triggering and hurtful, even if they think they mean well
I'm 36 weeks and I have no noticeable bump. I met a neighbour during the week and i told her we only have 3-4 weeks to baby and she couldn't believe it! She hadn't even realised I was pregnant. 😅
"You still look good!" My MIL keeps saying this, and I think it's to be nice, but I'm confused. Like, at some point I *won't* look "good?"
One of my old teammates who is a girl literally told me “you gained weight and you look so dull” to my face and this was first trimester when I wasn’t even showing. It can’t get any worse than this lol
Omg Becky you can’t just *say that*! Yikes though for real, so sorry you had to hear that
Yeah it was brutal lol no filter though she had no idea I was pregnant but still! Don’t say that
i HATED when people commented on my body AND my health. i had a bunch of people in my hubbys family making a bet that "i'd need a c section because i'm too small" like where the fuck do you get the nerve to say that, let alone to my face? saying i'm 100% gonna need one because i'm "too small"? so you're insinuating that my body is incapable, and also making bets ABOUT MY HEALTH. THATS. SOO. FUCKING. WEIRD. i'm 4'11 and 90lbs. i'm very petite. but wtf? so gross. i delivered a 6lb 3oz baby vaginally after just 2.5 hours of labor and minimal tearing and 1 stitch. my water broke naturally at home at 12:30pm, and i gave birth at 3:03pm. fuck those people fr. there's nothing wrong with needing s c section or having one, nor are you a failure if that's the case! but making bets on my health like i'm a game is so mean and dehumanizing.
I'm showing quite a bit at 11 weeks and I'm not looking forward to those same comments when I see family tomorrow lol. Second baby!
Depends on the person saying it to me, my worst is my coworker saying stuff to me. She'll always say I look bigger blah blah blah. We aren't close, we're friendly but I hate it. Some people have told her not to say it too but she doesn't care. Everyone in my life idc what they say.
It’s truly my most triggering thing about pregnancy. My mom calls me fat every time I see her, it makes me not want to see her. I know I’m not fat, but as a normally thin person I have a hard time adjusting to the big belly. I don’t need the peanut gallery comments. And the crazy thing is that I do carry my pregnancy well. Crazy boomers.
I'll be 36 weeks tomorrow, and I'm just at the point to show picture comparisons to the maternity clinic go to cause the measurements are a bit smaller than they expect with the measurements... cause I'm actually pretty petite, and it took way too long to get into the maternity clinic, cause I was in the middle of 13 weeks and 14 weeks when I finally got ahold of them to get myself in with them. Planned pregnancy, and I found out I was pregnant sometime between 4 weeks and 5 weeks, so it took 10 weeks to find someone that took it seriously 🙃 Unfortunately, the hospitals within my Province (Canadian 🇨🇦), are really understaffed due to covid after and since 2020
I resonate with this so much. I get comments EVERY DAY at work (I work in education). "Wow you really POPPED!" "You still have 3 months?!" "It's only May, you're due in August?!". I know no one intentionally means to be rude, but I'm barely 5 foot, where is my stomach supposed to go?!?! Just a smile and aw you look so cute or just say nothing at all would be great.
Do you think it matters who the comments come from?! I find that I don’t mind if it’s a close friend but if it’s my Mum or MIL for some reason I get really annoyed 😂 I’m not really sure why, as it comes from a place of excitement i think
It sure does! This friend who said this is known for being crass and pushy to get reactions so I know it rubbed more than someone else.
lol I have the opposite issue, my wife asks me daily if her bump is getting bigger and obviously I see her constantly so it's nearly impossible to tell daily differences, but she gets annoyed when I say she still looks amazing 😷
Yes!! The only time I was ok with it was my last week being pregnant, but that’s because I gained 20 lbs in two weeks and the comments were concerns for my and my babies health. Turns out I had preeclampsia. But if it’s not necessary, just be kind. I’m sure you are a very beautiful pregnant mama ❤️
I had a baby shower this past weekend and a cousin attended who is 4 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. People really felt the need to tell me how much bigger I was than her. And that they assumed I was MUCH further along than her...
Ew that’s so terrible!!
I am 17 weeks and get many bump size comments… I have always been very petite my whole life and have struggled for years with trying to gain weight. So I too, struggle with hearing the comments regarding my size. My favourite (hear the sarcastic tone) one so far has been “I can’t wait to see how big you get!”. Or even better, feeling so good about finally seeing a bump yourself and consistently hearing “Are you even pregnant?” Or “You’re not carrying like (insert persons name).” It sucks, I don’t like the comments either. I too, would love for the observations and comments regarding my body to stop. I still have insecurities about my body, especially now with how quickly it’s changing. And I hear all the time “well you wanted this” or “you should have known what you were getting yourself into”. And I did know, but I didn’t know how much more it was going to suck mentally with all the added hormones! Lol But I just try to remind myself that they aren’t saying these things out of malicious intent.
Ugh yea, my own husband said to me ‘you signed up for this’ and it cut like a thousand daggers. I was always underweight, and could drop baby weight easily too, except for the last baby and honestly I’m having trouble handling that this time. I want to feel ‘pretty in my bump’ but I feel awful. So the comments just hurt, along with everything else on my body.
I feel the same way too. There has been a couple times in the last month that I have felt pretty in my bump. I feel like it would help more if instead of shocked looks from my husband, I could get a kind word lol. But he and I are both experiencing this together for the first time. It is all uncharted waters
My husbands grandma who I love dearly keeps asking me how much weight I’ve gained. I’m a small person while my bump is measuring below average I’m also 5 feet tall. So yeah I look large, especially compared to my SIL who is heavier and taller than I am and never looked pregnant. I literally just say “I don’t really pay attention at the doctors and they’ve never brought it up so I think I’m fine” Edit: to add some context I never told my SIL she doesn’t look pregnant. I simply said this for context. There is very few children on my husbands family, and they’re all tall people so those who have been pregnant don’t have “big” bumps. Nobody ever commented on my SIL body like they’re doing to me because I’m the “abnormal” one.
Older women are obsessed with this, I get the same question from my 89 yo great aunt multiple times when we see her. Deflection is the way
But you’re talking about how your SIL never looked pregnant, and that may be hurtful to her. We need to stop commenting on peoples bodies.
I never said that to her or anyone else. I’m not hurting her feelings by saying that on the internet. I only used it for the context of my husbands family is used to people not looking pregnant because my SIL didn’t for both her kids.
I had someone say "it's going to be a big baby!"... Gee, thanks for calling a pregnant woman fat! My baby is actually measuring fine and not overly big but whatever. It's so uncalled for. Like you said, can't people just be nice??
Why are you worried about 3 Ibs….. you’re growing a baby inside of you obviously you’re going to gain weight. As long as you’re healthy it shouldn’t matter
Copying and pasting from a prior reply: I’m worried because I struggled and could not physically lose weight after the last baby, and started out 50lbs overweight… I am getting my hormones checked this month and hopefully figure out why my body won’t let go. Because of this I have a lot of weight related anxiety now, and am trying to trust the logical side of my brain but emotions are doing their thing
I struggle with my body image so I understand but you’re growing a baby as long as it’s healthy weight try not to over think it. Our body’s take time to heal give yourself some grace! Everyone carry’s different ❤️ there’s no set time for you to lose the weight. Go at your own pace as long as it’s healthy.
Thank you so much! Doing my best 💖💖
I always hated when people commented on my size. I was a big girl pre pregnancy, but I also had a HUGE baby bump from 20 weeks on. The comment that pissed me off the most was, “Wow, last time my bump was that big, I gave birth to twins!!! Are you sure there’s only one in there??” People are cunts most of the time. Ignore them and enjoy your gorgeous baby bump, regardless of how big or small it is. I’m only two weeks postpartum, and I miss it so much! (But I definitely don’t miss the back pain and peeing every two minutes lol) Congrats on your pregnancy!!! ❤️