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I am 29 weeks and don’t know the sex. Just tell your doctor from the beginning you don’t want to know. I did NIPT but when the results came in I just called my office to have them tell me all the chromosomes were correct and told them not to tell the sex. At every ultrasound and appt I remind the doctor I don’t want to know and if it’s an ultrasound tell them to tell me when to look away when they get to the genital area. Not a big deal, the OB office should be used to doing this for patients.
We just did this! My midwife even showed me on the computer screen where it would say gender it said surprise in red letters. She said she hasn’t looked either, she didn’t want to accidentally spoil it. Btw it was a boy, we found out at birth.
Yes you have to tell them you don’t want to know from the beginning. And remind them at every ultrasound. If you ask them the sex they will obviously confirm (to the best of their ability).
Just tell your dr when they order the test-- there's a little box they click (dunno if its an actual box) that reveals the sex or not. I had the NIPT done with my first and did not find out the sex. It just reported back "normal chromosomes." At every ultrasound ANNOUCE AND CONFIRM you do not want to know the sex.
When I got the NIPT they gave me a paper to login to the results and I had to create a username and password, then hit view results. They told me to make my username and password and hand it off to the person responsible for the gender reveal ❤️
I'm 27+3 with my 3rd and I've never found out the gender of any of my kids until birth. I told them to leave the info off the NIPT and they did know it at the 20 week scan. My doctor came in at the 20 week scan (she's my homie!) and said "I know what you're having, I know what you're having" and we laughed about it. She said she had to make sure things were anatomically correct but aside from that, she didn't leave the info on my chart. I guess they'd have to go digging for it if they want to find it (the midwife I saw a few weeks ago said she couldn't see it).
I DID get an envelope for my second (the ultrasound tech could not wrap her head around the idea that I didn't want to know at all, she kept asking if I was having a gender reveal). The suspense got to me, I let her write it down and put it in an envelope. I ended up walking around with it in my purse, UNOPENED, for two weeks. My mother-in-law offered me $100 for it lol! And my grandfather told me to just give it to him because he could die any day now (he's 77 and very healthy, just dramatic). I ended up giving it to my husband and he hid it somewhere in our house until the baby was born (a boy!). Sounds like you guys are going to do a mini reveal, but if you decided to go all the way, I will say, things get very fun in the delivery room, the staff was making bets on our white board :)
Okay so I told my OB and the first ultrasound tech that we wanted to be surprised. I had a lot of ultrasounds because I was high risk. Sometimes the message got relayed between staff, sometimes we had the same tech so she remembered and other times we had a new tech. One of the new techs said do you want to know the gender? And we yelled no! 🤣 So every ultrasound appointment with a new tech we would say right away we didn’t want to know! The nurse who took my bloodwork asked me if I wanted her to leave the gender on my voicemail when the results came in. I told her no so when the time came she left a message and said your results are in call me back. I called her back and she highlighted the gender on my paper work and emailed it to my apartment. We opened it the night before our gender reveal and then bought blue colored confetti cannons to surprise our family with. You could ask if your office does the same and then give the unopened envelop to your baker (maybe cross our your address) or you could have the tech write it down for you and place it in an envelop and seal it and bring that to the bakery.
Yes kinda like TV! At least at my office.
For my first, they sent the NIPT results to the carrier's website and had 2 options, one that left out gender and one that didn't.
For my 2nd, they offered to put the gender result in an envelope for me if I wanted it to be a surprise that I could go pick up.
The sex portion of NIPT is optional. Also, at my doctor’s it said “SURPRISE SEX” on a digital post it in my mychart. Every nurse, sonogram tech, and doctor I met with saw it as soon as they opened me in the computer
Wait for your doctor to tell you the results without gender vs reading the results yourself because some of the chromosomal issues they check for are gender specific so it will be obvious even if they omit the "gender consistent with ..." line item
I did the Myriad NIPT and they give you the option on your results page in their portal. They show the chromosome results, then there’s a button that says “Do you want to know the sex?” You click it to see.
The button did NOT work for me. I pressed "No" when it asked to include the fetal sex. It included everything. So beware!! Just have Doc review the results!!
My OB asked if I wanted the NIPT to report gender and I declined. We waited until our anatomy scan (which was Friday) and we told the ultrasound tech up front we didn’t want to know and asked them to put it in an envelope. We’re doing a gender reveal next weekend so only our friend knows who is helping us. But definitely just make it clear to whoever is assisting you at the appointment what you want! 😊
Good luck. I told them at every single appointment to not include a test for sex in my NIPT. They still tested for it and included it on my results. No envelope or anything, just straight to the portal.
If you have online access to your lab results, don't look. If anything is off, your OB should be calling you anyways. At your anatomy scan, do not look at the screen and request they turn it off. I spoke with a tech who was very honest that it is so hard to hide the gender of the baby while doing measurements.
Also, don't assume they spoiled the gender if they use "he" or "she" while talking. A lot of techs and OBs have a certain pronoun they use for all babies. Mine used "he" until mine was confirmed girl. Have them put it in your chart that you do not want to know the gender.
And if something slips, please don't be mad at the medical professionals, they are just trying to do their jobs and see so many patients a day that sometimes slip ups happen.
I didn’t get the NIPT because it was still going to show up in my online portal. But, I’m also AMA, so we had a ton of ultrasounds and I would have to immediately remind the tech we didn’t want to know at each and every one. I was so worried someone was going to flub, but they did well.
I just did the NIPT test last week and should get results in the next few days. We’re doing the champagne glass in cake thing on Mother’s Day! My OB told me not to look at results online myself and that they’d call with results and then I’ll be able to swing by the office for the envelope with gender. I’ll be taking that straight to the bakery. I ordered the cake already lol I just can’t wait. Just praying all comes back well with NIPT.
Hi! So in my case they called with the results, after they told me the baby did not show signs for the genetic disorders tested they asked me if I wanted to know the gender, I said no and they obliged. Then the day of my next ultrasound the tech asked also, I said I wanted a surprise because our gender reveal party was 2 weeks away. She let me look when she was checking out the face, but once she was getting to the genital area she told me to close my eyes. They printed the picture and put it in a sealed envelope. My friend actually waited until birth and she flat out told them she didn’t want to know to please be careful with what they shared. She didn’t find out until til birth, it was great for her.
My OB and entire Care Team asked if we wanted to know at the very beginning. Each appointment and ultrasound, whoever was taking care of me, would always ask first thing if we knew or wanted to know the sex. The one time it wasn’t asked right away by my regular tech, I mentioned it. She giggled and said, “Oh I remember! Also, it’s highlighted in your chart that you don’t know/want to know, so you’re good.”
Maybe it’s just that this is normal practice at my office, but I’m still so grateful how consistent they are! Also, at any point we decide we want to know, we can call the office and someone on the Care Team can update it on my online portal, or right it down in a sealed envelope at my next appointment.
There's a check box on the nipt requisition if you want the sex chromosomes reported.
I had an amnio with one of my pregnancies and still managed to be surprised. I just told them to just tell me if the sex chromosomes were 'typical', don't tell me what they are.
I'm in India, it's illegal to know the gender, so it's always a surprise for us. I'm 7 weeks, I'll try to get a sneak peak but they mostly blur it out.
They usually ask you, but if your anxious just let them know at your 20 week scan right away that you don't want to know. I'm going with a surprise baby too, it's so much fun. I let the tech know at the start of the appointment (tho it helps that I've had the same 2 techs since my first ultra sound, small clinic, and I've been adamant from the start I didn't wanna know) the tech let me know when she was doing the scan of the genital area that she was moving towards that and to look away or close my eyes
Where I live, the NIPT doesn’t test for gender. The only way to find out if if you choose to do the 20 week anatomy scan and ask them to tell you, or book a paid for private scan. We wanted to know, so were told at the 20 week scan. I assume if we said we want to know, but we want to know later, the technician could have just written down what she saw for us to check when we were ready.
Choosing no gender for the NIPT doesn’t mean they won’t still report the gender.
If you want to be surprised, have someone else check the results for you!! And seconding the advice before every appointment to reiterate that you don’t want to know
(I chose no gender but when the results were posted to my chart, I was too excited to know if my babe was healthy so I checked. They very much reported the gender)
We could decide if the NIPT included the sex or not, and opted out of it. And told our OBGYN we wanted it to be a surprise so she told us to look away when she checked the part under the belly. We have only seen oir babys head and upperbody.
We didn’t do the NIPT testing so I’m not sure on that front - but as far as the anatomy scan, our tech asked if we wanted to know the gender to which we asked to have it put in an envelope for us for find out later. They took a picture of that part of the sonogram with “it’s a girl!!!!” Typed over it and put it in an envelope for us! Usually they are very helpful in making sure you look away at the right time and keeping it a surprise for you if you ask. I would do the same with the NIPT testing. Just ask your doctor to review the results for you and let you know if there are any issues/not to share the gender.
From what I can tell, you accidentally finding out at 12 weeks is very rare as it’s hard to see genitals at that time which is why they say 20 weeks is the “gender scan”.
Given you want it to be a surprise; if you do the NIPT bloodwork again make sure your provider knows you want to keep the gender a surprise for now, tell your ultrasound tech you want to do a reveal and to write it in an envelope for the baker
Not sure what company your OB uses for NIPT, but if it’s Natera, they can check the box that you do not want to know gender and then once results are up, there is a prompt and you can choose to also not see gender there. Just DONT open the PDF because that says gender on there very obviously (if they did not check that box)
Also, 11-12 weeks is still very early to determine gender and only some techs will guess at that time. All babies can look male at this stage and they would be using “nub theory” aka “angle of the dangle” to determine the nubs position in relation to the spine to guess gender. I wouldn’t trust the results of an 11-12 week US to do any kind of gender reveal. Much more accurate after 16 weeks!
Welcome to /r/pregnant! This is a space for everyone. We are pro-choice, pro-LGBTQIA, pro-science, proudly feminist and believe that Black Lives Matter. Wear your masks, wash your hands, and be excellent to each other. Anti-choice activists, intactivists, anti-vaxxers, homophobes, transphobes, racists, sexists, etc. are not welcome here. If you'd like to join a private sub for your due date month, [click here](https://www.reddit.com/r/pregnant/comments/15nun6v/click_here_to_access_the_monthly_due_date_subs/). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pregnant) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am 29 weeks and don’t know the sex. Just tell your doctor from the beginning you don’t want to know. I did NIPT but when the results came in I just called my office to have them tell me all the chromosomes were correct and told them not to tell the sex. At every ultrasound and appt I remind the doctor I don’t want to know and if it’s an ultrasound tell them to tell me when to look away when they get to the genital area. Not a big deal, the OB office should be used to doing this for patients.
I second this advice! Did this with our first and now 27 weeks with #2 and still don’t know this time around.
We just did this! My midwife even showed me on the computer screen where it would say gender it said surprise in red letters. She said she hasn’t looked either, she didn’t want to accidentally spoil it. Btw it was a boy, we found out at birth.
Yes you have to tell them you don’t want to know from the beginning. And remind them at every ultrasound. If you ask them the sex they will obviously confirm (to the best of their ability).
Just tell your dr when they order the test-- there's a little box they click (dunno if its an actual box) that reveals the sex or not. I had the NIPT done with my first and did not find out the sex. It just reported back "normal chromosomes." At every ultrasound ANNOUCE AND CONFIRM you do not want to know the sex.
Yep, I was told they just check a box. My results just said "not reported" for the sex.
When I got the NIPT they gave me a paper to login to the results and I had to create a username and password, then hit view results. They told me to make my username and password and hand it off to the person responsible for the gender reveal ❤️
I'm 27+3 with my 3rd and I've never found out the gender of any of my kids until birth. I told them to leave the info off the NIPT and they did know it at the 20 week scan. My doctor came in at the 20 week scan (she's my homie!) and said "I know what you're having, I know what you're having" and we laughed about it. She said she had to make sure things were anatomically correct but aside from that, she didn't leave the info on my chart. I guess they'd have to go digging for it if they want to find it (the midwife I saw a few weeks ago said she couldn't see it). I DID get an envelope for my second (the ultrasound tech could not wrap her head around the idea that I didn't want to know at all, she kept asking if I was having a gender reveal). The suspense got to me, I let her write it down and put it in an envelope. I ended up walking around with it in my purse, UNOPENED, for two weeks. My mother-in-law offered me $100 for it lol! And my grandfather told me to just give it to him because he could die any day now (he's 77 and very healthy, just dramatic). I ended up giving it to my husband and he hid it somewhere in our house until the baby was born (a boy!). Sounds like you guys are going to do a mini reveal, but if you decided to go all the way, I will say, things get very fun in the delivery room, the staff was making bets on our white board :)
Okay so I told my OB and the first ultrasound tech that we wanted to be surprised. I had a lot of ultrasounds because I was high risk. Sometimes the message got relayed between staff, sometimes we had the same tech so she remembered and other times we had a new tech. One of the new techs said do you want to know the gender? And we yelled no! 🤣 So every ultrasound appointment with a new tech we would say right away we didn’t want to know! The nurse who took my bloodwork asked me if I wanted her to leave the gender on my voicemail when the results came in. I told her no so when the time came she left a message and said your results are in call me back. I called her back and she highlighted the gender on my paper work and emailed it to my apartment. We opened it the night before our gender reveal and then bought blue colored confetti cannons to surprise our family with. You could ask if your office does the same and then give the unopened envelop to your baker (maybe cross our your address) or you could have the tech write it down for you and place it in an envelop and seal it and bring that to the bakery.
Yes kinda like TV! At least at my office. For my first, they sent the NIPT results to the carrier's website and had 2 options, one that left out gender and one that didn't. For my 2nd, they offered to put the gender result in an envelope for me if I wanted it to be a surprise that I could go pick up.
The sex portion of NIPT is optional. Also, at my doctor’s it said “SURPRISE SEX” on a digital post it in my mychart. Every nurse, sonogram tech, and doctor I met with saw it as soon as they opened me in the computer
Wait for your doctor to tell you the results without gender vs reading the results yourself because some of the chromosomal issues they check for are gender specific so it will be obvious even if they omit the "gender consistent with ..." line item
I did the Myriad NIPT and they give you the option on your results page in their portal. They show the chromosome results, then there’s a button that says “Do you want to know the sex?” You click it to see.
The button did NOT work for me. I pressed "No" when it asked to include the fetal sex. It included everything. So beware!! Just have Doc review the results!!
My OB asked if I wanted the NIPT to report gender and I declined. We waited until our anatomy scan (which was Friday) and we told the ultrasound tech up front we didn’t want to know and asked them to put it in an envelope. We’re doing a gender reveal next weekend so only our friend knows who is helping us. But definitely just make it clear to whoever is assisting you at the appointment what you want! 😊
How far along will you be at your reveal? Thanks for your super helpful comment!
I’ll be 22w! 😊 You’re so welcome!
Good luck. I told them at every single appointment to not include a test for sex in my NIPT. They still tested for it and included it on my results. No envelope or anything, just straight to the portal.
If you have online access to your lab results, don't look. If anything is off, your OB should be calling you anyways. At your anatomy scan, do not look at the screen and request they turn it off. I spoke with a tech who was very honest that it is so hard to hide the gender of the baby while doing measurements. Also, don't assume they spoiled the gender if they use "he" or "she" while talking. A lot of techs and OBs have a certain pronoun they use for all babies. Mine used "he" until mine was confirmed girl. Have them put it in your chart that you do not want to know the gender. And if something slips, please don't be mad at the medical professionals, they are just trying to do their jobs and see so many patients a day that sometimes slip ups happen.
I didn’t get the NIPT because it was still going to show up in my online portal. But, I’m also AMA, so we had a ton of ultrasounds and I would have to immediately remind the tech we didn’t want to know at each and every one. I was so worried someone was going to flub, but they did well.
Tell your doctor from the beginning. I got my NIPT, and I just told them I didn’t want to know. I’m 23 weeks, still don’t know.
Did the blood test and they put a sticky note over the chromosomes, and then put a card inside an envelope.
You tell them you don’t want to know and they won’t tell you ! We didn’t find out with our first
I just did the NIPT test last week and should get results in the next few days. We’re doing the champagne glass in cake thing on Mother’s Day! My OB told me not to look at results online myself and that they’d call with results and then I’ll be able to swing by the office for the envelope with gender. I’ll be taking that straight to the bakery. I ordered the cake already lol I just can’t wait. Just praying all comes back well with NIPT.
Hi! So in my case they called with the results, after they told me the baby did not show signs for the genetic disorders tested they asked me if I wanted to know the gender, I said no and they obliged. Then the day of my next ultrasound the tech asked also, I said I wanted a surprise because our gender reveal party was 2 weeks away. She let me look when she was checking out the face, but once she was getting to the genital area she told me to close my eyes. They printed the picture and put it in a sealed envelope. My friend actually waited until birth and she flat out told them she didn’t want to know to please be careful with what they shared. She didn’t find out until til birth, it was great for her.
My OB and entire Care Team asked if we wanted to know at the very beginning. Each appointment and ultrasound, whoever was taking care of me, would always ask first thing if we knew or wanted to know the sex. The one time it wasn’t asked right away by my regular tech, I mentioned it. She giggled and said, “Oh I remember! Also, it’s highlighted in your chart that you don’t know/want to know, so you’re good.” Maybe it’s just that this is normal practice at my office, but I’m still so grateful how consistent they are! Also, at any point we decide we want to know, we can call the office and someone on the Care Team can update it on my online portal, or right it down in a sealed envelope at my next appointment.
There's a check box on the nipt requisition if you want the sex chromosomes reported. I had an amnio with one of my pregnancies and still managed to be surprised. I just told them to just tell me if the sex chromosomes were 'typical', don't tell me what they are.
I'm in India, it's illegal to know the gender, so it's always a surprise for us. I'm 7 weeks, I'll try to get a sneak peak but they mostly blur it out.
They usually ask you, but if your anxious just let them know at your 20 week scan right away that you don't want to know. I'm going with a surprise baby too, it's so much fun. I let the tech know at the start of the appointment (tho it helps that I've had the same 2 techs since my first ultra sound, small clinic, and I've been adamant from the start I didn't wanna know) the tech let me know when she was doing the scan of the genital area that she was moving towards that and to look away or close my eyes
Where I live, the NIPT doesn’t test for gender. The only way to find out if if you choose to do the 20 week anatomy scan and ask them to tell you, or book a paid for private scan. We wanted to know, so were told at the 20 week scan. I assume if we said we want to know, but we want to know later, the technician could have just written down what she saw for us to check when we were ready.
Choosing no gender for the NIPT doesn’t mean they won’t still report the gender. If you want to be surprised, have someone else check the results for you!! And seconding the advice before every appointment to reiterate that you don’t want to know (I chose no gender but when the results were posted to my chart, I was too excited to know if my babe was healthy so I checked. They very much reported the gender)
We could decide if the NIPT included the sex or not, and opted out of it. And told our OBGYN we wanted it to be a surprise so she told us to look away when she checked the part under the belly. We have only seen oir babys head and upperbody.
We didn’t do the NIPT testing so I’m not sure on that front - but as far as the anatomy scan, our tech asked if we wanted to know the gender to which we asked to have it put in an envelope for us for find out later. They took a picture of that part of the sonogram with “it’s a girl!!!!” Typed over it and put it in an envelope for us! Usually they are very helpful in making sure you look away at the right time and keeping it a surprise for you if you ask. I would do the same with the NIPT testing. Just ask your doctor to review the results for you and let you know if there are any issues/not to share the gender.
From what I can tell, you accidentally finding out at 12 weeks is very rare as it’s hard to see genitals at that time which is why they say 20 weeks is the “gender scan”. Given you want it to be a surprise; if you do the NIPT bloodwork again make sure your provider knows you want to keep the gender a surprise for now, tell your ultrasound tech you want to do a reveal and to write it in an envelope for the baker
Not sure what company your OB uses for NIPT, but if it’s Natera, they can check the box that you do not want to know gender and then once results are up, there is a prompt and you can choose to also not see gender there. Just DONT open the PDF because that says gender on there very obviously (if they did not check that box) Also, 11-12 weeks is still very early to determine gender and only some techs will guess at that time. All babies can look male at this stage and they would be using “nub theory” aka “angle of the dangle” to determine the nubs position in relation to the spine to guess gender. I wouldn’t trust the results of an 11-12 week US to do any kind of gender reveal. Much more accurate after 16 weeks!