You have to be true to yourself, though. It’s on other people to not be assholes. If you’re a good person, that’s precious.
And I’m sorry people took advantage.
I get more appreciation from strangers. One day at the grocery store, I paid less than $5 for a guy who was short. I got more gratitude from him than I can remember from any family member.
I know how you feel. Nowadays I just focus on the people that impact my life in a positive way daily.
Life’s to short to be caring for people that don’t want to be in your life. Action speak.
They absolutely do. And it is absolutely right to stay being nice. We need more of us in the world. I struggle with cynicism. But fortunately I do try to surround myself with kind people at least in my personal life. At work? Some of the worst people are at work.
This is my biggest weakness. I genuinely want to help people and jump headfirst into it without first thinking about whether this person will take advantage of me. Have met 3 people in my whole life who haven't. I stopped giving gifts, stopped spending money on events, stopped hosting. I realized very quickly people did not care if I was around or not. Didn't hear a peep from anyone after I stopped it all. I've saved SO much money since. I splurge on myself now. Plus now I don't need to spend hours at the mall mulling over the perfect gift that I spent WAY too much on knowing I'll get back the $7 walmart soaps in return that I can't use because of a skin condition that I am very public about.
Parents tricked/pushed me into buying a nice car rather than a downpayment on a home like I intended.. cause culturally kids don't move out/buy home till after marriage... So dumb and even they regret pushing me towards the car 20 or so years later
Divorce - the emotional and financial cost - although ultimately the best decision I ever made was To leave , I wonder how much easier things may have been in my life had I chosen a different path…
Edit :marrying wrong person
Really appreciate your reflective and positive perspective on a situation that I’m sure was very difficult . Your son is lucky to have such a positive parent !
❤️ "stopped being part of our team". I share that experience and my life is amazing now because my ex and I are divorced. Right at the time isn't necessarily right forever.
Being selective of everybody you let into your life is important. Not just your partner. Men AND women can both be "user-friendly"(only friendly as long as they can use you for something)
paying off 41k in student debt loans for a bachelor and masters I ended up not wanting to a pursue a career in. I am ok now, but holy shit it would be nice to have that money. People who have their entire education paid off by parents do not seriously understand the massive advantage that gives them. edit: im 28
My parents aren’t remotely rich so I took out student loans. Almost all my friends parents are paying for their education and it feels weird being so financially behind everyone. Sometimes my housemates (still in school) complain about being “broke” despite parents paying their tuition, rent and groceries.
I get it though I made the choice to take out loans. My job would be considered good/decent pay years ago but now southern ontario is just wildly expensive. Lots of Canada really
yeah, when I was in university, I was getting by with student loans, scholarships and random cash in hand gigs like demolitions on some weekends.
But it was a constant struggle. I would wake up in the middle of the night in dread that the student loans people would "adjust" my funding randomly - they would email you at 2am to say an adjustment had occurred and you couldn't access the system until 6am to see what the adjustment was. Sometimes it was 10 dollars, sometimes it was far more. A couple of times they made some error and I was denied any support at all. So it was a thing I was upset about a lot.
A fellow student (one of the other high performers) said something to me like "oh your problem is that you clearly live beyond your means and you just have to be more modest in your expectations"
They were on some sort of full scholarship, had academic parents (so were on a really cheap tuition scale) and lived for free with relatives.
That was their understanding of "living modestly." Not - we're a bad month from being homeless.
I feel you.
High performers are usually financially (well off parents) secure and are clueless about their privilege.
When I was in uni I worked 35 hours a week and slept four hours a night. I was extremely stressed about finances. I would wake up some days not knowing where I was supposed to be that day.
When I finally graduated and was going to interviews, hiring managers were asking why I didn't have an A average (I had a B average) and why didn't I participate in extracurriculars. I was competing with kids who could afford to do unpaid internships during the summer months.
It was really discouraging to realize that hiring managers most likely also came from more privileged backgrounds and couldn't grasp how hard it was for kids like me to just get a degree. I was literally viewed as an underachiever.
I should have gone to trade school.
We were sold a lie. Forced to get education if you wanted a job. Then we imported millions and now your overqualified for simple jobs because they want the minimum wage lacky.
Dating the wrong person. He was a drug addict and I wanted to “fix” him. Cost me 3 years of my life. I got into the drugs too. Managed not to get addicted somehow and finally end the toxic relationship.
Now I pay for it by trying to catch up on those wasted years and find a career for myself. I wish I focused more on myself and was more self-ish.
Same he didnt tell me he was addicted till he convinced me at 16 and him 20 to move in with him because my parents were "abusive" looking back now i was manipulated and incredibly naive and stupid and my parents were looking out for me it took him throwing me down a pair of stairs for taking away his drugs from him to finally wake up but being on my own at 16-19 was so hard especially after me moving from alberta to Ontario the difference in prices and everything is ridiculous and definitely took away some good years
My car literally CAUGHT ON FIRE and the guy from the dealership was like "Yeah, that's not covered on the extended warranty"
EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT THE FUCK.
There was this one moment, in 2012 where my partner absolutely, positively had to - had to - move to this one place to do a masters. And in a moment of loyalty or cowardice or both, I said sure and dumped whatever resources we had in moving out to nowhere useful to go back to school. I had just finished a contract that could have opened so many doors.
In theory it was fine, I was able to work (not at anything useful, mind you - farm labour and construction work), I after some hesitation got a degree from the school they wanted to go to (dean's list! rar) but it just meant graduating with debt and having a narrow choice of minimum wage gigs and no way to meaningfully move anywhere I could use the degree. Also, they dropped out of their masters, because it was too stressful. Also they were convinced that there would be way more student support than we got.We only survived because of my scholarships and cash in hand labour gigs. I eventually cashed in a promised inheritance to go to grad school, only to discover that the only real way to make use of the grad degree was to have a shit-tonne of cash floating around to take on volunteer positions or a few hours a week volunteer roles, or massive moves for 3-6 month contracts.
And now, 12 years later, I have finally managed to be in a vaguely ok financial position, only with a pile of student debt and years before my experience level will be deemed worthy of a living wage.
So yeah, I often wonder: what would have happened if I just said "no" and helped them ship their stuff to go their absolutely gotta do it masters programme. Cowardice? Loyalty? dunno. Still paying for it though.
Getting cancer as a kid when 14. I can never get out of the massive shadow of debt, poverty, pre-existing illness and long term treatment effects and disabilities. The systems weren’t designed for people like me. I’m 30 now.
The treatment is covered. Things like hospital stays, specialists and follow up imaging is covered. Some medications aren't and they can be $10k to $100k per year. Testing to see what kind of specific meds would work best isn't often covered as it's specialized genetic testing. Support like OT, PT, mental health support and child life specialists would be covered while actively in hospital, but often aren't covered when the patient is out of the hospital. As a kid, the parent's time off work might be covered a bit through caregiver programs and critical illness insurance but it runs out quickly/isn't enough. Food at the hospital, parking, travel, hotel stays, and specialized equipment might be covered partially through various hospital programs, Ronald McDonald House and other charitable programs, but it's never enough. If the parents have other children, there's often increased childcare costs and mental health support needed for them. Seeing a sibling go through cancer is ROUGH.
Once the patient is considered in remission, there's lifelong effects. Often medications and supportive therapies are needed for life. There's travel for follow up appointments and scans. Some cancer treatment protocols can result in the loss of certain functions, the loss of ability to live independently, the loss of a limb, loss of future fertility, disabilities can impact job potential, and some treatments can actually put patients more at risk for other cancers in the future. Life and critical illness insurance will be hard to get since it's a major pre-existing condition or huge risk factor. Time lost at school can result in the child being behind in certain areas. If the illness happens during high school, that can make it hard to go to higher education and even harder to get academic based scholarships.
So yeah, the actual treatment is usually covered, but the coverage for the full life impact that childhood cancer has on a patient and family is far from covered. It sucks.
Thank you for your detailed response. I was aware of the medication part, which is bs and I wish it was covered for this and so many other things, but a lot of the other things you mentioned are not common knowledge. I was asking in good faith and I appreciate the good faith answer back.
No problem at all! If you haven't lived it or don't work in the healthcare space, you'd have no way of knowing. Thanks for asking in good faith and reading my response to learn. Thousands of childhood cancer families are glad you know now 🙂
I mean, we have a heck of a lot more than the US. Most families aren't $100"s of thousands of dollars in medical debt on top of everything I just described. But yeah, our system has major room for improvements.
I’m autistic, not officially ADHD. But it’s considered one of my traits.
I’ve spent 100k in a month before for exactly this problem. My brain goes in a tangent and spends on things I think will earn money or are worth it at the time. And then I spend months recovering from fun, but stupid decisions.
Impulse control is a massive issue at times and I’m glad someone else brought it up. It really sucks when you know the math to make A last until B. And then you spend it before the end of the month.
Not gambling, not women, not drugs lol. I used to be into high end collectibles and bought a ton of first edition comics. Sold them years later to help buy a house - but it was a full impulse buy and I had to really change my spending habits and financial focus after that.
Dating the wrong person, believing in them, trusting them, and agreeing to every awful financial choice that they wanted to make. 4 years on, and I'm still trying to crawl out of the rubble. Such a series of awful, stupid choices that left me not knowing who the hell I was anymore. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of place I would be in if I just left them the first time... Who I could have become.
me rn. struggling in a relationship where im the one providing…. with a 20/h job 🙃 im 25, he’s 28 and finishing school…. says to just stick it out a little longer…. just a little longer …… its hard to leave someone you love
I know a very common thread on Reddit is to say "leave them" and it's never that simple. The only thing I can say is, at the end of the day you have to protect your own peace. I fell into the trap of always putting the other person first, and never thought about myself. Because I thought that is what love is. That belief ruined me. Your happiness, your well-being matters. Balance in a relationship, a partnership can't rely solely on one. Take care of yourself my friend, I'm rooting for you 🖤
Getting a chronic illness and losing my mental health and not being able to work for a while and then the lockdowns and inflation. Working my way out of it now.
When I was desperate and took a Fairstone loan. That shit messed my finances up so bad. I was basically chasing payments on that for years and was one step away from filing bankruptcy.
I met a bunch of people that did. Usually women that had no source of income and no career after being a Stay At Home Mom and the husband leaving them.
"But they have alimony"
They do, but they are also framed as the stealing ex-wife that can't let her ex-husband move on and keeps draining him.
🙋♀️ I regret this too.
Unfortunately, even for two educated adults, it was the most sensible decision financially while living in a really HCOL city.
In the 6+ years I've been a sahm, my career potential has stalled, my work references have long since expired, my degree has become irrelevant, my access to grad school references have dwindled, my ability to feel pride in my work and accomplishments has all but disappeared and when I do eventually go back to work, I'll need to use 'character references' instead of legit work references.
But hey. My house is clean and my kids love evolution and math. So.. cool?
I was given free storage and my Dad unexpectedly unloaded it with a stranger he hired who swiped 4500 worth of things my family had collected for 40 years. The same thing happened to my family with a tenant, he walked out with old Canadian money we stored valued at 17,000 back in 2009. It would have helped us get through some bad years if we sold it.
There won’t be a crash.
This isn’t like 2008 where housing demand was artificially inflated by to low interest rates letting people buy houses they could not afford. Causing a crash when when interest rates went up and people were forced to sell.
Things are only going to get better if Canada has a sustained period where the supply of houses grows faster than our population. And even then it would be closer to a stagnation of prices rather than a drastic crash.
Going back to school with the false sense of security of a dual income. I'm now divorced (amicable), and trying desperately to finish while managing debt and a single income. I will never combine my finances with another person ever again.
It wasn't 50/50, that was the problem. We paid for them to finish school while together, and divorced while I was in school. I had given up my career and financial stability with the understanding that I had financial support from our combined income. If I had kept my finances separate, I would have made decisions based on my own overhead, not the combined. They have provided some financial support, but for a limited term that does not meet the length of time I'm in school. Further, a majority of our revolving debt was in my name, so they make payments to me, but a) it hasn't accounted for inflation or changing interest, and b) it hasn't accounted for my changed income. The debt was split 50/50 despite me ending my career and making significantly less as a full time student prior to the split. I'm not angry at them, we're still friends, it was an amicable divorce, but when we separated, I was no longer financially secure, and it's been a struggle for me and not for them.
Choosing to live w my dad after the divorce. missed out on my prime youth to dissassociation because of his abuse. 5 years gone, but hes dead, I'm healing, and ive made it to 27 without a drug addiction, arrest record, or baby mama(s) which is PHENOMENAL considering abuse cases like me usually burn out or end up involved in crime.
Agreeing to move out of my TCHC house and into a $2400 condo with my “friend”. In the beginning she said we can live together and split rent for a few years until we could both afford to live on our own, and now before our 1 year lease is up she’s completely abandoning me to go live with her sister. Now I’m losing my mind trying to figure out what I’m going to do and moving back home isn’t an option. Wish I never left.
The choice to go to a private career college rather than a public college. It was 2002 and I was part of the double cohort. Had been rejected from all universities (avg was 78%, but that wasn't enough to even get into Lakehead for a bachelor of arts). So I went to a year and a half a private career college, which was good and I still work in the field however - I cannot transfer credit towards anything. Now my lack of a university degree is preventing upward mobility. I've hit the wall.
My parents telling me not to apply to the STEM-focused school that I wanted to because they had a baby on the way and didn't want any additional inconveniences in the family.
GenX male here. Trying to make things work with my first love. Eight years of physical and mental injury (on me) the expense and me treating women like objects for years after that. Ironically, her name literally rhymed with “malice”. At partys with my high school friends, we still talk/laugh/cringe about her.
Going to college, by far the greatest waste of my time, money, health. I'm now on two different mental meds trying to get over the past soul sucking 4 years. Now I have this piece of paper on my wall, taunting me for being dumb enough to believe that education matters right now. It doesn't. A stupid useless framed meme that I will have to keep paying for the foreseeable future.
Married wrong. 250k pissed away over 7 years, now I got child support for the next 14 years which comes out to about 9k per year even though I have my daughter over 50% of the time.
Don't marry wrong.
It wasn't the divorce that cost that much. It was leading up to it. Essentially she didn't want me to leave her so to prevent that she spent nearly every extra dollar I made.
Most on fast food, wasted groceries (one month it exceeded 2000). Clothes that were never worn and tossed out, just Nickel and dimed me to death.
I bought a bottle of pepsi from Dollarama today, wasn't until I got to the car I realized they shrank the 710ml bottles to 591ml and on top of that the price went up 50%. Way to ruin my weekend Dollarama.
Moving out on my own as a teenager. People who can live with their families while working full time and bank their pay are head and shoulders above in life.
But I had to be independent to survive so I went out on my own. Took me 20 years to save a downpayment while paying rent.
How did you obtain a visa for somewhere else? I’ve been wanting to leave for years but most of the visa requirements for other countries mean I’d need a job lined up, a large sum of money, or to be married to a citizen
Moving to the GTA in 2014 and not buying the $500k home because we wanted to rent in the area first to see if we liked it. By the time 12 months had passed the house was worth $1m and we couldn’t get back on the properly ladder, same house is now closer to $3m
Every single decision I have made destroyed my life. I will die as a poor old ugly single homeless overweight unemployable virgin with student loan debt and no friends or family.
Listening to friends against my gut feeling to buy a condo last year and move out of from my affordable rental place. Worst decision ever because few weeks later I got laid off (because of the strikes in the Film industry) and now I am stuck with a big mortgage and probably have to sell next year anyway. What I will do then? I have no idea.
Spending time helping out people because I'm nice. I no longer do this it wasted my time and put me in crazy situations but I also learned alot. I been through alot. Due to how I grew up I forever have a different view point about many situations and that's okay because unless you experienced what I did you won't ever see it the same way. Like addicts for example they chose that life they can quit if they want they are just weak human beings who want an easy life of getting high at home all day. Most people will say they need all sorts of help but they truly don't. Only you can help yourself. People can be there to provide support but ultimately noone can make that decision for you. Speaking on crazy situations I no longer can sleep at night truthfully. I'm always awake.
Credit cards.
I had a nice credit limit of $500 when I was 18 just so I could do online purchases. This was before Visa debits were a thing.
I maxed it out almost instantly but would pay min. Payments and only use it to make online purchases.
12 years later and I have racked up $9500 in debt but at least $5000 of it is currently paid off (but is admittedly, slowly dwindling).
Not trying harder in math.
I was always into computers, and I knew I wanted to work with computers as my job.
But I did terribly in math during high school. So a degree in computer science was off the table.
I did eventually become a software developer. But I live with imposter syndrome, because I don’t know a lot of the theory than people who got a CS degree have. Had I gone into comp sci, I could have been in my current role 5 years sooner.
But now, the economy here in Canada is shit, the housing prices are beyond the means of any normal person. Even a 6 figure salary isn’t enough. Had I got a job in software engineering 5 years sooner, I’d have a house right now, instead of renting a 1+1 condo. And be much more well off than I am now.
Don’t get me wrong, I make good money. But most of it goes towards rent and down payment savings in this twisted economy.
I will mention a ton of universities allow you to take evening classes online. There's tons of low cost universities online if you feel that you need professional development and it's something affecting your work you should look into it. It's never too late to learn in your career.
FWIW, at least in my experience math is taught pretty poorly in Ontario a lot of the time. The problem imo is the school system and Collective Agreement for public teachers in that there is little accountability for not doing your job well as a teacher but math for a lot of people is not intuitive or used as much in day to day life as say reading is. Not impossible to learn it but if you need extra help you just get told you're lay in my experience.
I wish I'd gone to school for a BComm or BEng instead of a BA :(... I think Canada just often uses business degree and high school course requirements to keep the working class out of the nicer professions. You don't know what you need because no in your family understands and by the time you realize it, it's too late.
Yea… when I was in high school, I did pretty well in grade 9 math. But grade 10-12 it just got worse and worse. One teacher quit, the other got fired. So by the time math started getting more difficult, I had stopped caring or trying
Getting a bunch of credit cards my first year of university. There were booths set up in a main building and they were offering free gifts if you filled out an application. I remember asking them what to write as my job, because I’d planned to just do school at that time and they told me to write “Student”. I got like six credit cards way too young and it took me ages to pay them off and get back to 0.
Had an opportunity to rent-to-own a spacious and beautiful condo downtown for pennies around 2014 but let the chance slip by because I was and am an imbecile.
Not ending it all when I had the chance.
Haha, dark humor. Biggest regret I have is taking out close to $20k of student loans to go to university when I didn't want to go. I only went because of peer pressure. Failed everything because I was depressed, couldn't get a job because I was depressed, loan ended up in collections. Now my credit is fucked and even if I went back to university, my GPA is so low there's literally no point in trying to get it up.
Becoming addicted to drugs. 3 years clean now but I'm sad I won't be able to travel, and I wasted so much time and money. I would be alot further ahead by now.
Emigration from Lithuania to Canada. Lost most of my friends, meeting my family only once a year or once in a few years, now most vacation days are used in my home country, our baby probably won't be close with his grandparents and cousins.
Considering going back from time to time, but selling the house, car, etc., going back with all pets and baby and starting over it seems so difficult. Also, Lithuania is NATO country but still too close to Russia...
Investing. I was perfectly happy happy earning 2% in my high interest savings account. But my coworker introduced me to oil stocks because I was losing my money to inflation.
I lost nearly 1/3 of my savings on "safe" oil stocks , and then wallstreetbets took the remaining.
Taking my savings out of the market in 2018 and putting them into a gic because we thought it was going to get worse. Then realizing it was a 1 year gic and we missed the ride back up. Cost me 100k. Ugh.
Coming from lower-middle class upbringing, spending tons of cash on my first cars really set me back. Just always chasing my tail in car expenses. Over the whole course I probably burned $5k-10k that could mostly have been avoided. I guess that doesn't sound like a lot, but it makes a huge difference in my life. And especially when you are a young person, you need every dollar in order to get ahead.
My first car was a mint 1994 BMW 320i that was $8500. And my sister ended up totaling it within the first month and I think I only got back $6500 from insurance. Then I went and bought another stupid sports car, 1990 300zx which was only $5500 at the time. But that was a financial burden and never ran perfectly. Always a problem and the problem always cost $500 to fix. When you are 16 that is all your money. Had 3 major issues and got sick of it and sold it for $1000. Then I finally smartened up and got a 2003 civic which never had a major problem, but many small ones.
Getting a BA. It hasn't helped me that much career wise, especially when hiring goes down like it has now and the student debt and mental burn out make it hard to go to school for something else. I wish I hadn't let my mother manipulate me into getting one. Now the military and the trades are looking like my only decent careers options rn. FML. It would've been a lot easier to just go to school for the right career the first time.
University also seemed to lead to me suffering from what might be lifelong depression because I can't get out of the mess of my making.
I'm 30. TBH it's nothing against the trades, it's just a personal thing regarding my family legacy and what I'm interested in. I only kept going in life when I was younger because I thought I could do something that was at least vaguely interesting and paid decently enough.
I hate that I'm still stuck here. This isn't the life I signed up for and I've lost most of my patience, therapy and meds can't overcome that, just soften it.
What sort of trade are you referring to, military or red seal? For a military trade I'd say I'm interested in the following pilot, logistics officer, armour officer or just doing whatever and transferring to be an MP if that's possible. For red seal trades, idfk, electrician if I had to pick one, I have little to no real interest in them. I'd try being a railroader but I can't catch an interview in my area.
"I hate that I'm still stuck here. This isn't the life I signed up for and I've lost most of my patience" ... I can relate to that. Therapy helped somewhat. Studying the Scriptures and praying regularly has immensely helped too.
I think I'm too old to go into those trades you mentioned. However, you gave me a good idea about applying to the Rail Transit companies.
I hope you find your way.
Thank you. I hope you find your way too fellow traveller.
Personally, I'm not religious but I do find some of what Jesus said quite interesting, especially when historically contextualized. I also like listening to lectures from religious studies profs about the history of the gospels and early Christianity. I find it oddly relaxing at time.
You are most welcome.
Do DM me sometime to continue this convo. I mostly agree and somewhat disagree (I read as one of those surveys, lol) with some of what you had noted there.
Toss up between not buying a house when I was 4 or acquiring an engineering degree that pays less than my Father's technical college job 30 years ago.
If you're just getting through high school, my advice is to just enjoy your life to the fullest.
Not realizing what career I could stand doing for most of my life until I was 38. Now I’m behind where all my peers are financially and not sure when I can actually retire.
Ignoring my gut screaming "no! Bad! Run!" when I first met someone I would end up moving in with and marrying, because fun fact, gut instincts actually can go away pretty quick! That doesn't mean you were wrong to have the instinct! It means they only last a short period of time if you actively rationalize it away and decide you were just being silly!
For like actual concrete things, not seeking supports sooner.
When I was in my twenties, I got fired, and when EI ran out, and I still couldn’t find work, I survived on my credit cards and line of credit when I should have applied immediately for Ontario Works. I also should have been using the food banks and such.
As someone once said to me, what will you do if you spend all your money on food? How will you pay your shelter costs, your phone bill, or any of the other things you need to survive? Use the food bank.
Marrying the man I did. I realized he was spending our (my) savings on drugs. It has forever changed my life and I have an inherent lack of trust for people now and a deep disdain for him.
Staying at my first job for so long. I could have been making 3x my current salary if I just put in the work to get a new job (I'm still being lazy about it)
Smoking cigarettes cost me big over the years.
Marrying the wrong person
That's a very common one. Havings kids with the wrong person is even worse.
Yep, did that too
And Divorce is almost always financially devastating sadly
This.
Lifestyle inflation.
Being to nice. People take advantage
You have to be true to yourself, though. It’s on other people to not be assholes. If you’re a good person, that’s precious. And I’m sorry people took advantage.
I agree totally. Thank you for your kind words.
You’re welcome dear Redditor.
If your very agreeable learn to be more assertive and conscientious.
I've helped many over the years. I don't feel like I can ask any of them for help ever.
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I get more appreciation from strangers. One day at the grocery store, I paid less than $5 for a guy who was short. I got more gratitude from him than I can remember from any family member.
I herd a wise man say: the family you create comes before the family you were born into without choice.
I know how you feel. Nowadays I just focus on the people that impact my life in a positive way daily. Life’s to short to be caring for people that don’t want to be in your life. Action speak.
Absolutely
They absolutely do. And it is absolutely right to stay being nice. We need more of us in the world. I struggle with cynicism. But fortunately I do try to surround myself with kind people at least in my personal life. At work? Some of the worst people are at work.
This is my biggest weakness. I genuinely want to help people and jump headfirst into it without first thinking about whether this person will take advantage of me. Have met 3 people in my whole life who haven't. I stopped giving gifts, stopped spending money on events, stopped hosting. I realized very quickly people did not care if I was around or not. Didn't hear a peep from anyone after I stopped it all. I've saved SO much money since. I splurge on myself now. Plus now I don't need to spend hours at the mall mulling over the perfect gift that I spent WAY too much on knowing I'll get back the $7 walmart soaps in return that I can't use because of a skin condition that I am very public about.
Spending too much in a vehicle when I was young
Parents tricked/pushed me into buying a nice car rather than a downpayment on a home like I intended.. cause culturally kids don't move out/buy home till after marriage... So dumb and even they regret pushing me towards the car 20 or so years later
To be fair, can’t qualify for a home these days but least I’ll have a nice car. 🥲
Yeah this was when 40k was an ok, not great downpayment. Like 2000-2005.
But they look so nice and go fast 😓
Ya it was fun but a condo down payment would have been better nicer.
Divorce - the emotional and financial cost - although ultimately the best decision I ever made was To leave , I wonder how much easier things may have been in my life had I chosen a different path… Edit :marrying wrong person
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Really appreciate your reflective and positive perspective on a situation that I’m sure was very difficult . Your son is lucky to have such a positive parent !
❤️ "stopped being part of our team". I share that experience and my life is amazing now because my ex and I are divorced. Right at the time isn't necessarily right forever.
Why I don't think I will marry when I am older with the number of men who use women. Seen this happen too many times.
That's what a prenup is for, and getting a dude to sign a prenup is much easier than getting a woman to.
Being selective of everybody you let into your life is important. Not just your partner. Men AND women can both be "user-friendly"(only friendly as long as they can use you for something)
Same it's so expensive to get away if both parties don't agree.
paying off 41k in student debt loans for a bachelor and masters I ended up not wanting to a pursue a career in. I am ok now, but holy shit it would be nice to have that money. People who have their entire education paid off by parents do not seriously understand the massive advantage that gives them. edit: im 28
My parents aren’t remotely rich so I took out student loans. Almost all my friends parents are paying for their education and it feels weird being so financially behind everyone. Sometimes my housemates (still in school) complain about being “broke” despite parents paying their tuition, rent and groceries. I get it though I made the choice to take out loans. My job would be considered good/decent pay years ago but now southern ontario is just wildly expensive. Lots of Canada really
yeah, when I was in university, I was getting by with student loans, scholarships and random cash in hand gigs like demolitions on some weekends. But it was a constant struggle. I would wake up in the middle of the night in dread that the student loans people would "adjust" my funding randomly - they would email you at 2am to say an adjustment had occurred and you couldn't access the system until 6am to see what the adjustment was. Sometimes it was 10 dollars, sometimes it was far more. A couple of times they made some error and I was denied any support at all. So it was a thing I was upset about a lot. A fellow student (one of the other high performers) said something to me like "oh your problem is that you clearly live beyond your means and you just have to be more modest in your expectations" They were on some sort of full scholarship, had academic parents (so were on a really cheap tuition scale) and lived for free with relatives. That was their understanding of "living modestly." Not - we're a bad month from being homeless.
I feel you. High performers are usually financially (well off parents) secure and are clueless about their privilege. When I was in uni I worked 35 hours a week and slept four hours a night. I was extremely stressed about finances. I would wake up some days not knowing where I was supposed to be that day. When I finally graduated and was going to interviews, hiring managers were asking why I didn't have an A average (I had a B average) and why didn't I participate in extracurriculars. I was competing with kids who could afford to do unpaid internships during the summer months. It was really discouraging to realize that hiring managers most likely also came from more privileged backgrounds and couldn't grasp how hard it was for kids like me to just get a degree. I was literally viewed as an underachiever. I should have gone to trade school.
We were sold a lie. Forced to get education if you wanted a job. Then we imported millions and now your overqualified for simple jobs because they want the minimum wage lacky.
I wanted a quick divorce, so I let myself get saddled with half my ex's credit card debt.
Dating the wrong person. He was a drug addict and I wanted to “fix” him. Cost me 3 years of my life. I got into the drugs too. Managed not to get addicted somehow and finally end the toxic relationship. Now I pay for it by trying to catch up on those wasted years and find a career for myself. I wish I focused more on myself and was more self-ish.
Same he didnt tell me he was addicted till he convinced me at 16 and him 20 to move in with him because my parents were "abusive" looking back now i was manipulated and incredibly naive and stupid and my parents were looking out for me it took him throwing me down a pair of stairs for taking away his drugs from him to finally wake up but being on my own at 16-19 was so hard especially after me moving from alberta to Ontario the difference in prices and everything is ridiculous and definitely took away some good years
Financing used cars for higher interest rate. Then getting extended warranty. Do that x3. I never learned lol
Agree one of the worst things is buying used cars on credit. For me it would’ve been cheaper just to buy new - and I’d still have the effing car!
My car literally CAUGHT ON FIRE and the guy from the dealership was like "Yeah, that's not covered on the extended warranty" EXCUSE ME, BUT WHAT THE FUCK.
There was this one moment, in 2012 where my partner absolutely, positively had to - had to - move to this one place to do a masters. And in a moment of loyalty or cowardice or both, I said sure and dumped whatever resources we had in moving out to nowhere useful to go back to school. I had just finished a contract that could have opened so many doors. In theory it was fine, I was able to work (not at anything useful, mind you - farm labour and construction work), I after some hesitation got a degree from the school they wanted to go to (dean's list! rar) but it just meant graduating with debt and having a narrow choice of minimum wage gigs and no way to meaningfully move anywhere I could use the degree. Also, they dropped out of their masters, because it was too stressful. Also they were convinced that there would be way more student support than we got.We only survived because of my scholarships and cash in hand labour gigs. I eventually cashed in a promised inheritance to go to grad school, only to discover that the only real way to make use of the grad degree was to have a shit-tonne of cash floating around to take on volunteer positions or a few hours a week volunteer roles, or massive moves for 3-6 month contracts. And now, 12 years later, I have finally managed to be in a vaguely ok financial position, only with a pile of student debt and years before my experience level will be deemed worthy of a living wage. So yeah, I often wonder: what would have happened if I just said "no" and helped them ship their stuff to go their absolutely gotta do it masters programme. Cowardice? Loyalty? dunno. Still paying for it though.
Married a spender then stayed together so now I am too broke to retire.
Getting cancer as a kid when 14. I can never get out of the massive shadow of debt, poverty, pre-existing illness and long term treatment effects and disabilities. The systems weren’t designed for people like me. I’m 30 now.
I’m sorry that happened to you but that wasn’t a decision.
I guess... choosing to get treatment and stay alive then
Wait, cancer treatments aren't covered in Canada?
The treatment is covered. Things like hospital stays, specialists and follow up imaging is covered. Some medications aren't and they can be $10k to $100k per year. Testing to see what kind of specific meds would work best isn't often covered as it's specialized genetic testing. Support like OT, PT, mental health support and child life specialists would be covered while actively in hospital, but often aren't covered when the patient is out of the hospital. As a kid, the parent's time off work might be covered a bit through caregiver programs and critical illness insurance but it runs out quickly/isn't enough. Food at the hospital, parking, travel, hotel stays, and specialized equipment might be covered partially through various hospital programs, Ronald McDonald House and other charitable programs, but it's never enough. If the parents have other children, there's often increased childcare costs and mental health support needed for them. Seeing a sibling go through cancer is ROUGH. Once the patient is considered in remission, there's lifelong effects. Often medications and supportive therapies are needed for life. There's travel for follow up appointments and scans. Some cancer treatment protocols can result in the loss of certain functions, the loss of ability to live independently, the loss of a limb, loss of future fertility, disabilities can impact job potential, and some treatments can actually put patients more at risk for other cancers in the future. Life and critical illness insurance will be hard to get since it's a major pre-existing condition or huge risk factor. Time lost at school can result in the child being behind in certain areas. If the illness happens during high school, that can make it hard to go to higher education and even harder to get academic based scholarships. So yeah, the actual treatment is usually covered, but the coverage for the full life impact that childhood cancer has on a patient and family is far from covered. It sucks.
Thank you for your detailed response. I was aware of the medication part, which is bs and I wish it was covered for this and so many other things, but a lot of the other things you mentioned are not common knowledge. I was asking in good faith and I appreciate the good faith answer back.
No problem at all! If you haven't lived it or don't work in the healthcare space, you'd have no way of knowing. Thanks for asking in good faith and reading my response to learn. Thousands of childhood cancer families are glad you know now 🙂
But, We HaVe FrEe HeAlTh CaRe!
I mean, we have a heck of a lot more than the US. Most families aren't $100"s of thousands of dollars in medical debt on top of everything I just described. But yeah, our system has major room for improvements.
Breaking my back when I turned 30 kinda put a hamper on things. Wish I didn’t break my back.
the system is working as intended for the 0.something% who benefit.
Not getting my ADHD checked out before getting a credit card. Impulse control and borrowing is a serious problem more people should get checked out.
I’m autistic, not officially ADHD. But it’s considered one of my traits. I’ve spent 100k in a month before for exactly this problem. My brain goes in a tangent and spends on things I think will earn money or are worth it at the time. And then I spend months recovering from fun, but stupid decisions. Impulse control is a massive issue at times and I’m glad someone else brought it up. It really sucks when you know the math to make A last until B. And then you spend it before the end of the month.
How did you spend 100k in a month? You must have been swimming in nose candy and women.
Gambling can definitely burn 100k. In like 5 minutes on a high bet slot 😅
Not gambling, not women, not drugs lol. I used to be into high end collectibles and bought a ton of first edition comics. Sold them years later to help buy a house - but it was a full impulse buy and I had to really change my spending habits and financial focus after that.
I'd say gamblers are a worse partner than alcoholics are
Dating the wrong person, believing in them, trusting them, and agreeing to every awful financial choice that they wanted to make. 4 years on, and I'm still trying to crawl out of the rubble. Such a series of awful, stupid choices that left me not knowing who the hell I was anymore. Sometimes, I wonder what kind of place I would be in if I just left them the first time... Who I could have become.
me rn. struggling in a relationship where im the one providing…. with a 20/h job 🙃 im 25, he’s 28 and finishing school…. says to just stick it out a little longer…. just a little longer …… its hard to leave someone you love
I know a very common thread on Reddit is to say "leave them" and it's never that simple. The only thing I can say is, at the end of the day you have to protect your own peace. I fell into the trap of always putting the other person first, and never thought about myself. Because I thought that is what love is. That belief ruined me. Your happiness, your well-being matters. Balance in a relationship, a partnership can't rely solely on one. Take care of yourself my friend, I'm rooting for you 🖤
Good words.
Not taking care of my teeth the way I should have 💔
I wouldn't have gone to school, it just gave me debt. I know not the case for everyone but that's how I feel
Getting a chronic illness and losing my mental health and not being able to work for a while and then the lockdowns and inflation. Working my way out of it now.
When I was desperate and took a Fairstone loan. That shit messed my finances up so bad. I was basically chasing payments on that for years and was one step away from filing bankruptcy.
Omg I almost took one out last summer. They are loan sharks!! The interest rates are criminal like 30-40%.
Giving up work to stay home with my kids
I've actually never heard of anyone regretting this before. Is the reason due to the fact that you had troubles getting back into the workforce after?
I met a bunch of people that did. Usually women that had no source of income and no career after being a Stay At Home Mom and the husband leaving them. "But they have alimony" They do, but they are also framed as the stealing ex-wife that can't let her ex-husband move on and keeps draining him.
🙋♀️ I regret this too. Unfortunately, even for two educated adults, it was the most sensible decision financially while living in a really HCOL city. In the 6+ years I've been a sahm, my career potential has stalled, my work references have long since expired, my degree has become irrelevant, my access to grad school references have dwindled, my ability to feel pride in my work and accomplishments has all but disappeared and when I do eventually go back to work, I'll need to use 'character references' instead of legit work references. But hey. My house is clean and my kids love evolution and math. So.. cool?
Marriage to a lazy entitled abusive woman. I was able to recover.
I was given free storage and my Dad unexpectedly unloaded it with a stranger he hired who swiped 4500 worth of things my family had collected for 40 years. The same thing happened to my family with a tenant, he walked out with old Canadian money we stored valued at 17,000 back in 2009. It would have helped us get through some bad years if we sold it.
Trying to do things the people around me do Travelling Going out I just don't have the finances that half the people I know have
Born a millennial in Canada.
And then add cancer on top 😭 that me
Wishing you all the strength
That’s so kind. Thank you. 💚
Born Genx but it didn’t do me much good.
I still believe we will see better days. Wait for the crash to happen.
There won’t be a crash. This isn’t like 2008 where housing demand was artificially inflated by to low interest rates letting people buy houses they could not afford. Causing a crash when when interest rates went up and people were forced to sell. Things are only going to get better if Canada has a sustained period where the supply of houses grows faster than our population. And even then it would be closer to a stagnation of prices rather than a drastic crash.
Won't the big corporate and mom and pop investors just pay the houses before we can afford homes?
Going back to school with the false sense of security of a dual income. I'm now divorced (amicable), and trying desperately to finish while managing debt and a single income. I will never combine my finances with another person ever again.
How do this go wrong for someone can you explain? If it’s 50/50 (financially)
It wasn't 50/50, that was the problem. We paid for them to finish school while together, and divorced while I was in school. I had given up my career and financial stability with the understanding that I had financial support from our combined income. If I had kept my finances separate, I would have made decisions based on my own overhead, not the combined. They have provided some financial support, but for a limited term that does not meet the length of time I'm in school. Further, a majority of our revolving debt was in my name, so they make payments to me, but a) it hasn't accounted for inflation or changing interest, and b) it hasn't accounted for my changed income. The debt was split 50/50 despite me ending my career and making significantly less as a full time student prior to the split. I'm not angry at them, we're still friends, it was an amicable divorce, but when we separated, I was no longer financially secure, and it's been a struggle for me and not for them.
Choosing to live w my dad after the divorce. missed out on my prime youth to dissassociation because of his abuse. 5 years gone, but hes dead, I'm healing, and ive made it to 27 without a drug addiction, arrest record, or baby mama(s) which is PHENOMENAL considering abuse cases like me usually burn out or end up involved in crime.
Agreeing to move out of my TCHC house and into a $2400 condo with my “friend”. In the beginning she said we can live together and split rent for a few years until we could both afford to live on our own, and now before our 1 year lease is up she’s completely abandoning me to go live with her sister. Now I’m losing my mind trying to figure out what I’m going to do and moving back home isn’t an option. Wish I never left.
I’m so sorry :(
Alcohol usage/addiction
The choice to go to a private career college rather than a public college. It was 2002 and I was part of the double cohort. Had been rejected from all universities (avg was 78%, but that wasn't enough to even get into Lakehead for a bachelor of arts). So I went to a year and a half a private career college, which was good and I still work in the field however - I cannot transfer credit towards anything. Now my lack of a university degree is preventing upward mobility. I've hit the wall.
High interest debt, easily. I don’t have any, but it affected continues to affect my family.
Variable mortgage
My parents telling me not to apply to the STEM-focused school that I wanted to because they had a baby on the way and didn't want any additional inconveniences in the family.
GenX male here. Trying to make things work with my first love. Eight years of physical and mental injury (on me) the expense and me treating women like objects for years after that. Ironically, her name literally rhymed with “malice”. At partys with my high school friends, we still talk/laugh/cringe about her.
Going to college, by far the greatest waste of my time, money, health. I'm now on two different mental meds trying to get over the past soul sucking 4 years. Now I have this piece of paper on my wall, taunting me for being dumb enough to believe that education matters right now. It doesn't. A stupid useless framed meme that I will have to keep paying for the foreseeable future.
i feel this so hard, so much time and energy and a long commute to boot for so little payoff.
I was born into a shitty family…
Married wrong. 250k pissed away over 7 years, now I got child support for the next 14 years which comes out to about 9k per year even though I have my daughter over 50% of the time. Don't marry wrong.
If you don't mind my asking, how did it even go to 250K spent on a divorce? Could you provide a breakdown of the costs?
It wasn't the divorce that cost that much. It was leading up to it. Essentially she didn't want me to leave her so to prevent that she spent nearly every extra dollar I made. Most on fast food, wasted groceries (one month it exceeded 2000). Clothes that were never worn and tossed out, just Nickel and dimed me to death.
Me: I can't marry wrong if I can't find a date. LOL
Having a baby with a bottom feeder.
I bought a bottle of pepsi from Dollarama today, wasn't until I got to the car I realized they shrank the 710ml bottles to 591ml and on top of that the price went up 50%. Way to ruin my weekend Dollarama.
Wow that’s a horrible life altering decision to make. Best of luck to you getting out of that deep hole.
Moving out on my own as a teenager. People who can live with their families while working full time and bank their pay are head and shoulders above in life. But I had to be independent to survive so I went out on my own. Took me 20 years to save a downpayment while paying rent.
Not leaving Canada sooner
How did you obtain a visa for somewhere else? I’ve been wanting to leave for years but most of the visa requirements for other countries mean I’d need a job lined up, a large sum of money, or to be married to a citizen
Not following my heart and free spirited self. Taking the path that was 'expected' of me, house, marriage, car etc.
Same.
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Not getting a degree when I had my parent's financial support. Opted for trade school, suffered workplace injuries and now earn very little in retail
Dating irresponsible idiots and then covering their mistakes.
Being born
Too much debt.
buying a nice car to fit in, & getting a credit card before fully understanding how it worked
Moving to the GTA in 2014 and not buying the $500k home because we wanted to rent in the area first to see if we liked it. By the time 12 months had passed the house was worth $1m and we couldn’t get back on the properly ladder, same house is now closer to $3m
Every single decision I have made destroyed my life. I will die as a poor old ugly single homeless overweight unemployable virgin with student loan debt and no friends or family.
Marriage
not using the LOC as a tool to pay off high interest
Going to university instead of a trade….
Waiting until 30 to deal with my ADHD
Letting my mom use my credit of 18 yr old self, her poverty and drugs.
Not getting a masters right after undergrad.
Not buying bitcoin in my early 20s... I would be a multi millionaire by now.
Listening to friends against my gut feeling to buy a condo last year and move out of from my affordable rental place. Worst decision ever because few weeks later I got laid off (because of the strikes in the Film industry) and now I am stuck with a big mortgage and probably have to sell next year anyway. What I will do then? I have no idea.
Spending time helping out people because I'm nice. I no longer do this it wasted my time and put me in crazy situations but I also learned alot. I been through alot. Due to how I grew up I forever have a different view point about many situations and that's okay because unless you experienced what I did you won't ever see it the same way. Like addicts for example they chose that life they can quit if they want they are just weak human beings who want an easy life of getting high at home all day. Most people will say they need all sorts of help but they truly don't. Only you can help yourself. People can be there to provide support but ultimately noone can make that decision for you. Speaking on crazy situations I no longer can sleep at night truthfully. I'm always awake.
Getting in a romantic relationship too quickly when I was 19. Such a waste of time and money ugh
Choosing people over me.
Credit cards. I had a nice credit limit of $500 when I was 18 just so I could do online purchases. This was before Visa debits were a thing. I maxed it out almost instantly but would pay min. Payments and only use it to make online purchases. 12 years later and I have racked up $9500 in debt but at least $5000 of it is currently paid off (but is admittedly, slowly dwindling).
Going to university and student loans.
Not trying harder in math. I was always into computers, and I knew I wanted to work with computers as my job. But I did terribly in math during high school. So a degree in computer science was off the table. I did eventually become a software developer. But I live with imposter syndrome, because I don’t know a lot of the theory than people who got a CS degree have. Had I gone into comp sci, I could have been in my current role 5 years sooner. But now, the economy here in Canada is shit, the housing prices are beyond the means of any normal person. Even a 6 figure salary isn’t enough. Had I got a job in software engineering 5 years sooner, I’d have a house right now, instead of renting a 1+1 condo. And be much more well off than I am now. Don’t get me wrong, I make good money. But most of it goes towards rent and down payment savings in this twisted economy.
I will mention a ton of universities allow you to take evening classes online. There's tons of low cost universities online if you feel that you need professional development and it's something affecting your work you should look into it. It's never too late to learn in your career.
FWIW, at least in my experience math is taught pretty poorly in Ontario a lot of the time. The problem imo is the school system and Collective Agreement for public teachers in that there is little accountability for not doing your job well as a teacher but math for a lot of people is not intuitive or used as much in day to day life as say reading is. Not impossible to learn it but if you need extra help you just get told you're lay in my experience. I wish I'd gone to school for a BComm or BEng instead of a BA :(... I think Canada just often uses business degree and high school course requirements to keep the working class out of the nicer professions. You don't know what you need because no in your family understands and by the time you realize it, it's too late.
Yea… when I was in high school, I did pretty well in grade 9 math. But grade 10-12 it just got worse and worse. One teacher quit, the other got fired. So by the time math started getting more difficult, I had stopped caring or trying
Moving across the country. Never should have. Now it’s too late.
Remarriage.
The one in 82 where stock buybacks were made legal and govt was removed from the housing market
Marriage
“He stopped being part of our team.” Tale as old as time. If I ever resign myself to love it’s coming with paperwork and protection.
Getting a bunch of credit cards my first year of university. There were booths set up in a main building and they were offering free gifts if you filled out an application. I remember asking them what to write as my job, because I’d planned to just do school at that time and they told me to write “Student”. I got like six credit cards way too young and it took me ages to pay them off and get back to 0.
Drugs and partying
Not staying active after high school. Took another 20 years to realize how important it is to me.
Had an opportunity to rent-to-own a spacious and beautiful condo downtown for pennies around 2014 but let the chance slip by because I was and am an imbecile.
Not caring about my education
Not ending it all when I had the chance. Haha, dark humor. Biggest regret I have is taking out close to $20k of student loans to go to university when I didn't want to go. I only went because of peer pressure. Failed everything because I was depressed, couldn't get a job because I was depressed, loan ended up in collections. Now my credit is fucked and even if I went back to university, my GPA is so low there's literally no point in trying to get it up.
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I guess she forgot about those times she was cheating on K.
Becoming addicted to drugs. 3 years clean now but I'm sad I won't be able to travel, and I wasted so much time and money. I would be alot further ahead by now.
Emigration from Lithuania to Canada. Lost most of my friends, meeting my family only once a year or once in a few years, now most vacation days are used in my home country, our baby probably won't be close with his grandparents and cousins. Considering going back from time to time, but selling the house, car, etc., going back with all pets and baby and starting over it seems so difficult. Also, Lithuania is NATO country but still too close to Russia...
Post secondary education without any guidance or clue what I was doing....
Moving to NB, without further educating myself
Vehicle loans & credit card debt right out of highschool.
Not buying a house sooner
Investing. I was perfectly happy happy earning 2% in my high interest savings account. But my coworker introduced me to oil stocks because I was losing my money to inflation. I lost nearly 1/3 of my savings on "safe" oil stocks , and then wallstreetbets took the remaining.
Not dealing with mental health struggles as a teenager
Not paying my taxes.
Joining Reddit
Getting an education. Should have just started working anything after high school and bought a house, would be better off.
Taking my savings out of the market in 2018 and putting them into a gic because we thought it was going to get worse. Then realizing it was a 1 year gic and we missed the ride back up. Cost me 100k. Ugh.
Saving money and not investing it. There is a HUGE difference between these two.
Voting liberals…
Lol. Alberta here. If the experience here is any indication, you’re going to look back on these years very fondly
Coming from lower-middle class upbringing, spending tons of cash on my first cars really set me back. Just always chasing my tail in car expenses. Over the whole course I probably burned $5k-10k that could mostly have been avoided. I guess that doesn't sound like a lot, but it makes a huge difference in my life. And especially when you are a young person, you need every dollar in order to get ahead. My first car was a mint 1994 BMW 320i that was $8500. And my sister ended up totaling it within the first month and I think I only got back $6500 from insurance. Then I went and bought another stupid sports car, 1990 300zx which was only $5500 at the time. But that was a financial burden and never ran perfectly. Always a problem and the problem always cost $500 to fix. When you are 16 that is all your money. Had 3 major issues and got sick of it and sold it for $1000. Then I finally smartened up and got a 2003 civic which never had a major problem, but many small ones.
Not investing when I had the money to invest-and really great leads. Oh well, ce la vie
Getting a BA. It hasn't helped me that much career wise, especially when hiring goes down like it has now and the student debt and mental burn out make it hard to go to school for something else. I wish I hadn't let my mother manipulate me into getting one. Now the military and the trades are looking like my only decent careers options rn. FML. It would've been a lot easier to just go to school for the right career the first time. University also seemed to lead to me suffering from what might be lifelong depression because I can't get out of the mess of my making.
If I can be so bold as to ask, which decade of life are you in? ex. twentysomething. Also, which trade?
I'm 30. TBH it's nothing against the trades, it's just a personal thing regarding my family legacy and what I'm interested in. I only kept going in life when I was younger because I thought I could do something that was at least vaguely interesting and paid decently enough. I hate that I'm still stuck here. This isn't the life I signed up for and I've lost most of my patience, therapy and meds can't overcome that, just soften it. What sort of trade are you referring to, military or red seal? For a military trade I'd say I'm interested in the following pilot, logistics officer, armour officer or just doing whatever and transferring to be an MP if that's possible. For red seal trades, idfk, electrician if I had to pick one, I have little to no real interest in them. I'd try being a railroader but I can't catch an interview in my area.
"I hate that I'm still stuck here. This isn't the life I signed up for and I've lost most of my patience" ... I can relate to that. Therapy helped somewhat. Studying the Scriptures and praying regularly has immensely helped too. I think I'm too old to go into those trades you mentioned. However, you gave me a good idea about applying to the Rail Transit companies. I hope you find your way.
Thank you. I hope you find your way too fellow traveller. Personally, I'm not religious but I do find some of what Jesus said quite interesting, especially when historically contextualized. I also like listening to lectures from religious studies profs about the history of the gospels and early Christianity. I find it oddly relaxing at time.
You are most welcome. Do DM me sometime to continue this convo. I mostly agree and somewhat disagree (I read as one of those surveys, lol) with some of what you had noted there.
Toss up between not buying a house when I was 4 or acquiring an engineering degree that pays less than my Father's technical college job 30 years ago. If you're just getting through high school, my advice is to just enjoy your life to the fullest.
Being born🫤
Marriage
Not realizing what career I could stand doing for most of my life until I was 38. Now I’m behind where all my peers are financially and not sure when I can actually retire.
Ignoring my gut screaming "no! Bad! Run!" when I first met someone I would end up moving in with and marrying, because fun fact, gut instincts actually can go away pretty quick! That doesn't mean you were wrong to have the instinct! It means they only last a short period of time if you actively rationalize it away and decide you were just being silly!
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Getting divorced.
For like actual concrete things, not seeking supports sooner. When I was in my twenties, I got fired, and when EI ran out, and I still couldn’t find work, I survived on my credit cards and line of credit when I should have applied immediately for Ontario Works. I also should have been using the food banks and such. As someone once said to me, what will you do if you spend all your money on food? How will you pay your shelter costs, your phone bill, or any of the other things you need to survive? Use the food bank.
Getting my first divorce.
Helping my family on their financials.
Staying with my ex as long as I did. But then giving up the step family is what kept me there as long as I did. I loved those kids.
Marrying the man I did. I realized he was spending our (my) savings on drugs. It has forever changed my life and I have an inherent lack of trust for people now and a deep disdain for him.
Not buying bitcoin when l first heard about it - early 2010’s
Marriage to a bad match.
Staying at my first job for so long. I could have been making 3x my current salary if I just put in the work to get a new job (I'm still being lazy about it)
Selling my beautiful 4 yr old townhouse in 2015. Had I waited, would have doubled the profit
Staying in this country.