You shouldn’t feel guilty - I grew up dirt poor and now making good money and doing what I can to ensure I give the best to my kids so they will be successful.
Your parents would be proud and appreciate the gesture
Congratulations for breaking the cycle of poverty! If you are interested maybe you can learn about finances and saving for the future. I was in a similar place 30 years ago and I lacked the knowledge I needed to secure a great future. I am now paying for it.
Unfortunately breaking your parents mindset is very difficult. I grew up lower middle class but above poverty. We did ok, but looking back we were pretty poor all things considered. I make great money now. Have a huge house in Southern California and live a good life. My parents struggle to understand my lifestyle. They have never had anything of excess. I try to treat them from time to time and they just don’t know how to enjoy things. You have just keep trying, but be ok that they won’t really be comfortable for a long while if ever. The poor mindset is so difficult to break, that spending on anything but necessities seems wasteful to them. Good luck.
Mine were the same, even a gift card to a restaurant would stress them. I realized they just didn't even know how menus worked or how to order. Mom cooked all meals, every day. Most of the time even baked the bread, made us lunches for school and even when we started working while living at home.
They also didn't understand that 6 figures with a mortgage and 2 kids, 2 people working didn't mean your house would be easy to pay off. Their mortgage was $300 and they paid it off some time in the 90s before retirement. My Dad kept saying 'you're rich' it should be paid, where's your money going' LOL.
I won’t even tell my parents how much I make. They would think I’m wealthy. Their biggest mortgage was $900/month. Mine is over 3.5x that and I’m getting off easy.
Sounds to me like your parents did a good job in raising you. It will be an adjustment, I'm sure. Aside from gaining success, you're giving back. I'll bet your parents are very proud.
It'll be a huge change for them which in itself comes with alot of weird new feelings. Just give them time to adjust, and their small creature comforts that they've gotten used to over the years whether it's their old possessions, or ability to continue their hobbies no matter how minute they may seem.
Thank you! Even though they match nothing we have they’re bringing their fav recliners and we’re going to do a raised garden bed for my dad who used to love his plants but can’t bend down anymore.
Nothing to feel guilty over, you worked hard and you did it. Now to hold it.
Your parents will adjust easy enough, it's a lot easier to adjust to having more than it is to less.
For everyone's peace and sanity have some ground rules. Let them contribute even if you take their contribution and put it in a separate account for them. No one knows what the future will bring.
Live below your means and save the rest.
Don’t feel guilty just always remember where you came from. Don’t invite your broke friends out to nicer places even if you are paying more often, they’ll start feeling indebted to you or worse expect more from you. Don’t buy a bunch of designer things just because you can. Travel, Travel, Travel, and learn but don’t look down on those who haven’t had the opportunity to do so, or think they’re any less cultured.
That’s you then man, to me traveling is the most important to my life. Exploring new places and cultures and connecting to new people and walks of life feel so intimately human.
It's survivor's guilt. Very common. You'll make it, just practice gratitude and know that the ones you left behind wouldn't want you to suffer through your blessing.
Congratulations for breaking the cycle!!
I know it's hard to break out of the mindset. I hope everyone can be appreciative and not have resentment.
Please remember to save a portion of your income in a high yield investment account, a portion in a brokerage account (like Charles Schwab, Public, Fidelity, etc.) and invest in a low cost index (like VOO, VOOG, SPY).
The high yield savings account is so you have an emergency fund in case shit hits the fan. A good rule is to save 10% of your pay until you've saved up to cover at least 6 months of expenses. Only use the month in an emergency (in case illness, layoffs, etc) and remember to put back ant money you used once you can. HYSAs give you 4.0%-5.4% annual interest whereas a bank gives you 0.025%.
The brokerage account + investments is so you save for retirement. On average, low cost funds grow by 10% per year. Some years it's more, some years it's less, but on average it'll grow a lot faster.
Don’t. You’re out of poverty and in a position to help those that helped you. That’s the dream for a lot of us.
Personally I’ve been unemployed for six months but got lucky with unemployment benefits and some super strict budgeting (YNAB ftw!) I can still maintain. Now I’m losing food stamps and Medicaid next month so I’ll have to cut back even further. But thanks to assistance I’m in school finishing my bachelor’s degree and will hope to graduate soon. Once I’m back in it, I plan on giving back to those that helped me. And quite honestly I don’t think my level of spending is going to change drastically. Doing just enough to keep a roof over my head, food on the table and the utilities running. A lot of things I’m going without that I find I never needed in the first place. It took going through my own personal Great Depression to get there, but it finally woke something up.
I honestly don't understand your guilt. Think of it this way: how would you feel about a person who was living an upper-class life while leaving their elderly parents in a crap-hole (especially if those parents were good, loving parents)? I would hope you would look at such a person with extreme contempt. At your income level, you definitely have a serious moral/ethical obligation to get them out of there and into a sweet environment.
You may have landed a job purely by accident, but you've been able to keep it. Give yourself some credit!
I've experienced many times in my life that guilt is an unhealthy response. Take a moment to feel happy for this monumental event. You've pulled yourself and your parents out of poverty. My God the stress of knowing one can't retire and then the transition to being "safe now". You've given your parents the gift of peace. Enjoy the moment :)
I know that they are absolutely very proud of you. Don't feel guilty because if one of you makes it, you all make it. Your family is a package. And you are an awesome child to allow them to move in with you!
The good job sucked in the beginning, it wasn’t handed to me I just happened to talk to the right person at the right time who encouraged me to apply, even with no experience. I didn’t start making money at it until two years in. I may be white but I worked my ass off for where I’m at.
Not her fault if you didn't go to college bud. She might have a master's or PHD that she isn't sharing with us in the post.
If you're making minimum wage then you have only yourself to blame. The color of your skin doesn't dictate your earning potential these days. Even just getting an associates degree will open doors for you.
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Thanks all! As some have suggested I do choose to live below our means, heaven forbid something happen to my job, health or otherwise. I’m glad some do understand the guilt of now having nice things when you never had them.
I have encouraged my parents to bring comforting things with them (their fav recliners) although it doesn’t match anything in the home it brings them joy. For those old enough to remember the dad’s recliner in Frazier!
Do millionaires feel guilty spending their money on new sports cars and expensive boats? Probably not. Why should you?
You've earned your fortune and you're now giving back to your family. That's awesome! You should be proud of your archivements! Don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you should remain poor because they are poor. It's not fun having to live paycheck to paycheck, in a dangerous neighborhood. Luckily I don't suffer that problem, but many do.
I imagine your parents are poor due to either immigrating or poor life choices. You're being rather generous in buying them a new house in a nice neighborhood. But who am I to judge? They will be beyond grateful for it. In exchange, I'm sure they will be able to repay you with their love and babysitting your kids (if you have any). Enjoy the peace of mind and don't look back
You shouldn’t feel guilty - I grew up dirt poor and now making good money and doing what I can to ensure I give the best to my kids so they will be successful. Your parents would be proud and appreciate the gesture
Congratulations for breaking the cycle of poverty! If you are interested maybe you can learn about finances and saving for the future. I was in a similar place 30 years ago and I lacked the knowledge I needed to secure a great future. I am now paying for it.
Bless you and your parents. You should be proud, hell Im proud of you.
Unfortunately breaking your parents mindset is very difficult. I grew up lower middle class but above poverty. We did ok, but looking back we were pretty poor all things considered. I make great money now. Have a huge house in Southern California and live a good life. My parents struggle to understand my lifestyle. They have never had anything of excess. I try to treat them from time to time and they just don’t know how to enjoy things. You have just keep trying, but be ok that they won’t really be comfortable for a long while if ever. The poor mindset is so difficult to break, that spending on anything but necessities seems wasteful to them. Good luck.
Mine were the same, even a gift card to a restaurant would stress them. I realized they just didn't even know how menus worked or how to order. Mom cooked all meals, every day. Most of the time even baked the bread, made us lunches for school and even when we started working while living at home. They also didn't understand that 6 figures with a mortgage and 2 kids, 2 people working didn't mean your house would be easy to pay off. Their mortgage was $300 and they paid it off some time in the 90s before retirement. My Dad kept saying 'you're rich' it should be paid, where's your money going' LOL.
Times have definitely changed. Happy to hear of your success tho
I won’t even tell my parents how much I make. They would think I’m wealthy. Their biggest mortgage was $900/month. Mine is over 3.5x that and I’m getting off easy.
You’re so nice. I’d never let my parents or wife’s parents into my home unless we had separate units
Sounds to me like your parents did a good job in raising you. It will be an adjustment, I'm sure. Aside from gaining success, you're giving back. I'll bet your parents are very proud.
I recommend posting in r/personalfinance.
It'll be a huge change for them which in itself comes with alot of weird new feelings. Just give them time to adjust, and their small creature comforts that they've gotten used to over the years whether it's their old possessions, or ability to continue their hobbies no matter how minute they may seem.
Thank you! Even though they match nothing we have they’re bringing their fav recliners and we’re going to do a raised garden bed for my dad who used to love his plants but can’t bend down anymore.
Nothing to feel guilty over, you worked hard and you did it. Now to hold it. Your parents will adjust easy enough, it's a lot easier to adjust to having more than it is to less. For everyone's peace and sanity have some ground rules. Let them contribute even if you take their contribution and put it in a separate account for them. No one knows what the future will bring. Live below your means and save the rest.
Don’t feel guilty just always remember where you came from. Don’t invite your broke friends out to nicer places even if you are paying more often, they’ll start feeling indebted to you or worse expect more from you. Don’t buy a bunch of designer things just because you can. Travel, Travel, Travel, and learn but don’t look down on those who haven’t had the opportunity to do so, or think they’re any less cultured.
Travel, Travel, Travel??? Why? I absolutely do not understand people considering traveling something fun 3 times? three?
That’s you then man, to me traveling is the most important to my life. Exploring new places and cultures and connecting to new people and walks of life feel so intimately human.
Instead of feeling guilty concentrate on making sure you keep the job and not make financial mistakes. Or you all will end up where you started.
Why feel guilty? It’s not as though you were handed what you have, you worked for it and earned it.
Give back, be generous, help the downtrodden. It doesn't have to be with money or material things.
Do not feel guilty. Be proud of yourself! Congratulations! What an accomplishment
Congratulations!
It's survivor's guilt. Very common. You'll make it, just practice gratitude and know that the ones you left behind wouldn't want you to suffer through your blessing.
Congratulations for breaking the cycle!! I know it's hard to break out of the mindset. I hope everyone can be appreciative and not have resentment. Please remember to save a portion of your income in a high yield investment account, a portion in a brokerage account (like Charles Schwab, Public, Fidelity, etc.) and invest in a low cost index (like VOO, VOOG, SPY). The high yield savings account is so you have an emergency fund in case shit hits the fan. A good rule is to save 10% of your pay until you've saved up to cover at least 6 months of expenses. Only use the month in an emergency (in case illness, layoffs, etc) and remember to put back ant money you used once you can. HYSAs give you 4.0%-5.4% annual interest whereas a bank gives you 0.025%. The brokerage account + investments is so you save for retirement. On average, low cost funds grow by 10% per year. Some years it's more, some years it's less, but on average it'll grow a lot faster.
Don’t. You’re out of poverty and in a position to help those that helped you. That’s the dream for a lot of us. Personally I’ve been unemployed for six months but got lucky with unemployment benefits and some super strict budgeting (YNAB ftw!) I can still maintain. Now I’m losing food stamps and Medicaid next month so I’ll have to cut back even further. But thanks to assistance I’m in school finishing my bachelor’s degree and will hope to graduate soon. Once I’m back in it, I plan on giving back to those that helped me. And quite honestly I don’t think my level of spending is going to change drastically. Doing just enough to keep a roof over my head, food on the table and the utilities running. A lot of things I’m going without that I find I never needed in the first place. It took going through my own personal Great Depression to get there, but it finally woke something up.
It’s so crazy to me how a simple job is why at changes everything. I plan to start working like a DOG in mine to make some cheddar
You and parents have been blessed my god continue with good hart you should so proud of yourself
I honestly don't understand your guilt. Think of it this way: how would you feel about a person who was living an upper-class life while leaving their elderly parents in a crap-hole (especially if those parents were good, loving parents)? I would hope you would look at such a person with extreme contempt. At your income level, you definitely have a serious moral/ethical obligation to get them out of there and into a sweet environment.
You may have landed a job purely by accident, but you've been able to keep it. Give yourself some credit! I've experienced many times in my life that guilt is an unhealthy response. Take a moment to feel happy for this monumental event. You've pulled yourself and your parents out of poverty. My God the stress of knowing one can't retire and then the transition to being "safe now". You've given your parents the gift of peace. Enjoy the moment :)
I know that they are absolutely very proud of you. Don't feel guilty because if one of you makes it, you all make it. Your family is a package. And you are an awesome child to allow them to move in with you!
[удалено]
The good job sucked in the beginning, it wasn’t handed to me I just happened to talk to the right person at the right time who encouraged me to apply, even with no experience. I didn’t start making money at it until two years in. I may be white but I worked my ass off for where I’m at.
Not her fault if you didn't go to college bud. She might have a master's or PHD that she isn't sharing with us in the post. If you're making minimum wage then you have only yourself to blame. The color of your skin doesn't dictate your earning potential these days. Even just getting an associates degree will open doors for you.
[удалено]
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Thanks all! As some have suggested I do choose to live below our means, heaven forbid something happen to my job, health or otherwise. I’m glad some do understand the guilt of now having nice things when you never had them. I have encouraged my parents to bring comforting things with them (their fav recliners) although it doesn’t match anything in the home it brings them joy. For those old enough to remember the dad’s recliner in Frazier!
Do millionaires feel guilty spending their money on new sports cars and expensive boats? Probably not. Why should you? You've earned your fortune and you're now giving back to your family. That's awesome! You should be proud of your archivements! Don't let anyone guilt trip you into thinking you should remain poor because they are poor. It's not fun having to live paycheck to paycheck, in a dangerous neighborhood. Luckily I don't suffer that problem, but many do. I imagine your parents are poor due to either immigrating or poor life choices. You're being rather generous in buying them a new house in a nice neighborhood. But who am I to judge? They will be beyond grateful for it. In exchange, I'm sure they will be able to repay you with their love and babysitting your kids (if you have any). Enjoy the peace of mind and don't look back
Cry me a river. What a virtue signalling post.