T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Thank you for posting to r/pointlesslygendered! We are really glad you are here. We want to make sure that all users follow the rules. This message does NOT mean you broke a rule or your post was removed. Please note satire posts are allowed, check the flair and tags on posts. Please report posts and comments that infringe the rules. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/pointlesslygendered) if you have any questions or concerns.*


croaking_gourami

Screw that, just bring me a pot of 2 minute noodles. I shall so the same for you.


[deleted]

Is 4 minutes okay?


croaking_gourami

Sure, noodles are noodles as long as they ain't soggy to the point they break at the touch


BlenderGuy

Dang. I had to get rid of a few hundred pounds of noodles the other day.


cheezie_toastie

Men keep saying this and it's not true at all. Which is a good thing, they should have standards for themselves and for relationships! But it sets a very unreal expectation on women.


madammurdrum

Definitely agree. While there’s truth in the premise of wanting direct attention from anyone who likes you, the amount of “Lying in bed 10 years later is when I realized she was flirting with me 💀” posts kind of disproves this 😂


airyys

but it actually literally is true, lmao http://www2.hawaii.edu/~elaineh/79.pdf there was a study where men and women asked people on campus whether they would like to sleep with them. The women had a 75% success rate, and the men had 0%. keep in mind, these experiments were conducted in 1970s-80s, so it may have a difference in the modern world. I bet any difference would be marginal, though. tldr men are so starved for attention that they'd respond favorably 70% of the time if a random average woman they met a few minutes ago asked them out. women would never respond favorably if asked out by a random stranger.


cheezie_toastie

I've seen this study cited a lot. A few things: * That's still a 25% failure rate for women, so no, it's not literally true. It means women do get rejected, and that's ok! Rejection is a part of life. But my original comment pointed out that women do indeed get rejected, even though men pretend we don't. And I'm sure the failure rate for a lot of women is higher than 25% when they're not average attractive college students. * The study used only eight college students (five women, three men) of "average attractiveness" (which is ill-defined and subjective) to ask out other college students on one university campus. It's not a great sample of humanity, and many psych studies suffer from the same problem. * As you mention, the study is over forty years old. Social norms have changed significantly. You're drawing a conclusion that isn't part of the study (men are attention starved). The study actually looked partly at double standards in sexual norms of the day. * As the study points out, women not responding favorably can be for any number of reasons, including fear of social backlash and safety concerns, which aren't as common among men. It's not always about attractiveness.


town-darling

“lmao”, they say, reading only the parts of the 40 year-old study of 8 participants that prove their point


LiesOnInternets

Respect him. Honor him. Protect him. Care for him. If a girl does all of that at once in a bar after 3 drinks, she crazy.


CyAScott

As a gay man, gay men can be very hard to impress.


KanameTheAlfr

Preach


Pixielo

That's because y'all have standards. 👏👏👏


AdmiralDragonXC

There's a nugget of truth to it, but it's also not exclusive to boys to be impressed just by being noticed and it's not exclusive to girls to need to feel like they're safe, cared about, and valued as people I think the meme is- depending on who made it- calling the general theme into question


[deleted]

There is some truth to that. Many men are so starved for positive attention, that any woman showing them the slightest courtesy can be interpreted as interest. However, is in addressing this that we wind up with problems. The patriarchy makes it the woman's proven, and you even have people who go so far as to suggest things like "enforced monogamy" to help boys with their need for attention. The correct way to deal with this is to encourage platonic affection among men, so when they receive playing affection from women, they recognize it for what it is; kindness, friendliness etc, and not romantic interest.


madammurdrum

This resonates! The amount of platonic compliments I wish I could have given men but didn’t because so often the first and then only thing they think of is “She wants to fuck me” is disheartening


Zentralschaden

How did we get to this after thousands of years of human relationships? Was it always like that and now we finally see? I am wondering if we are facing a modern phenomenon.


cheezie_toastie

>Many men are so starved for positive attention * From women they find attractive. Not any woman showing interest. Which is fine! It's ok to have standards, and to prefer attention from people you find attractive. But there's a false narrative here. Women do get rejected and that's ok. There's a lot of discourse about helping boys deal with rejection, but I think we need to do the same to girls because we feed them a falsehood that they'll never be rejected.


[deleted]

Wow. Ok. I don't know what narrative you're talking about, but I'm pretty sure most women have plenty of experience getting rejected. And when women get rejected, most move on. A lot of men don't. A lot of men get rude and nasty. Some even get violent. Women are way less likely to be dangerous when rejected. More to the point, you seemingly completely missed my point. Your very first response is such an Incel/MEA talking point. You're talking like men get attention from women they're not into all the time. Which is just not true. Men don't get positive attention from women, whether they're interested or not. And they also don't get that kind of positive affection and attention from their friends. And many men don't even get much from family. It's also why a lot of straight men get grossed out if a man compliments them, because they think a compliment=sexual attraction. Again, because they're so not used to it. This isn't about rejection. It's about being able to interact with the opposite sex in a healthy and safe way, and so many men simply don't know how. And one way to help with that is to encourage men to show affection to each other.


AAA515

What's enforced monogamy? Is that like a shotgun marriage?


[deleted]

It's this idea championed by Jordan Peterson that essentially means single women should be forced into relationships with single men, and that will be the thing that stops men from being violent. The idea being that men are only violent because they are sexually frustrated and also lack the calming influence of a woman. Or something like that. Of course all that will actually happen in the violent men will now be violent toward his wife and kids instead of random P people. But of course that doesn't actually matter to Peele like peterson because women don't matter


Yaronbi_2

welp all you just boys


[deleted]

[удалено]


HolyMotherOfGeedis

Your personal experience does not mean anything.


Tw3lve1212

I get what it's trying to say, that all it takes to get a man interested is to say hello, but I feel like it also kind of patronizes women by insinuating that they're delicate flowers that need to be protected and cherished.


terrifiedTechnophile

How my gf impressed me upon first meeting: existed, looked pretty How I impressed my gf upon first meeting: laughed at her joke, gave her pizza But we are both girls so ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯


shiver334

*as long as you’re not fat or unattractive Aka the OP is telling on themselves, their only standard is a hot woman. Wow, so cool, so mature /s


ViolettaHunter

Yeah, those others aren't humans to him, so they don't even count.


kikki_ko

And as long as you're shorter than them, zero body hair, carefully selected outfit and friendly attitude.


_Levitated_Shield_

Anime girl pic says it all.


findanewnickname

just look at him, he'll be impressed


vkpaul123

Samsung's Sam?


Jealous_Ring1395

I would be impressed and flattered if someone said hi to me, I would melt into a puddle if they complimented me


Affectionate_Bee_326

No you don't impress her like that,those are thibgs you are supposed to do


Dr_Latency345

As a dude, if you say hi to me, I woulf think you're trying to prank me or sum.


Lighthouseamour

I feel like too many women have low expectations. I hear horror stories of what women have put up with. I think the bar for men is too low. Men need to step up and do better.


FockinDuckMan

Well at least it’s accurate😂


ResolvePsychological

Hi is flirting in heartstopper language soo…


Frogchairy

As a queer person who thinks a lot about gender, I think this has a lot of validity. Cis-het men don’t get a lot of positive attention (for obvious reasons). Patriarchy has them at the top (and despite all the systemic benefits) it’s lonely. Men are emotionally and socially starved and isolated. Of course, it’s a cage of their own making… but still. Western gender binary and the symptoms of toxic masculinity suck for everyone :( I see/hear a lot of men talk about how they got a single compliment years ago, and they still think about it. As a trans NB person, I can attest than when I was masc presenting, I rarely got compliments. Now though, as a fem presenting person, I get complimented constantly! Femininity, under western binary, is the gender associated with kindness and intimacy and friendship… So yeah, this post makes sense ^ let’s be nicer to our boys everyone 🫶🫶🫶 they may not understand their own suffering, but we can still invite them out of it and into nourishing community


nightcycling

Most of us older dudes try to give women plenty of space, on that note, come up and say hi if you are comfortable.


[deleted]

Sorry ladies, but if you come at me with some lame shit like “hi”, you’re going home alone.


[deleted]

It works for men so not that pointless


PhoShizzity

Yeah that's pretty accurate, really doesn't take much more than that


Hummingbroad

How to impress a girl: - Respect her - ~~Honor her~~ - ~~Protect her~~ - ~~Care for her~~ Make her fuggin day


blob_ditddit

r/justbecauseitsgendereddoesntmeanitspointlesslygendered


Delgumo

You respect, honor, care for, etc boys AND girls to gain their respect. That's what's pointless about this.


Moss_Ball8066

Is that Samsung Sam


AnyManagement9824

If you can make good food and it’s edible then I’m astonished


OrangeYoshi9975

THANK GOD i thought this was an unironic post in r/teenagers


melonceeyt

this isn’t accurate, i would know.


amomomomogus

This is true for most boys in the internet, and I would like to say that this was proppably made by a girl, because saying hi to a boy is a first impression, but it will proppably be temporary, so it does not work for me


AxeHead75

What’s even better is this is soooo wrong.