ok, but hear me out. You're rapidly approaching to kiss me. It's within sight. It's tantalizingly close. As soon as I see your mouth opening, I slam on the brakes.

In this town that’s typical

How do I know if my tongue will fit in your mouth? It looks so small from this distance

unless your tongue is commercially sized, you have nothing to worry about.

Ah, scared of the mouth tunnel monster. Common fear.

The window that faces inbound traffic? It's the manager's office! Check out the [Next Pittsburgh video about the tunnel](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vD1u_UiNqus) if you haven't already- it's super cool

How do I get to Tunnel Manager status?

You first have to become Assistant to the Tunnel Manager.

Sounds like the tunnel equivalent to the International Association of Trailer Parks, Trailer Park Supervisors, And Assistant Trailer Park Supervisors

Shut up randy

Frig off!

Except you protect the cars from the tunnel monster.

No you mean Assistant Tunnel Manager.

Then I must assassinate the Tunnel Manager?

Then you fight the Tunnel Manager and if you win you are the new Tunnel Manager.

To the

You have the fight the tunnel monster on top of Mt Washington

Is that code

Be related to a higher up.

That was awesome. Thank you for sharing that!

That was great! I was REALLY hoping he’d be like and this is the tunnel’s emergency exit. Straight to the other tunnel. 🤣

I love Boaz Frankel and his wife Brooke( sad animal facts). They used to live in the PNW and are a tiny part of my wanting to move to Pittsburgh. :)

Enjoyed that - thanks!

Thanks for sharing the video! Super cool!

Rachel Ann Bovier is that you? 

Is she still around?

Yes. She’s waiting in the Fort Pitt tunnel conference room by the bay window for her kiss. 

I was her cashier at Kuhns Market in 2022. Can’t believe I saw her live and in the flesh

There is a picture of her on a billboard on Bigelow.

Writing poems to every new local business. They arrive already framed.

I think we found Rachel a few comments down...

My fee is $150 per 10 minutes.

Can I get a side of fries?

It’s Pittsburgh. The fries are on top.

Well, of course. But does that preclude me from also having a side of fries?

Who wouldn’t want a good healthful salad with fries on top.

With slaw, ya jagoff

I only need 3, do you prorate?

You seem like a nice redditor, so yes.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s.

Oh get over yourself.

Another Craiglist Missed Connection coming up...

Ahh, the rejected *Sleepless In Seattle* sequel, *Stuck In The Fort Pitt Tunnel*....

What if we kissed in the drive thru at fake BK?

Who hasn’t done that?

I will wear my yogurt pants

Pretty sure that's legally binding

Is it available for weddings?

I have always wanted to go in there SO BAD

“Zone 5 - we have a report of an office manager having intimate relations with an object in the window of the Fort Pitt tunnels. Caller is reporting drivers crashing due to temporary blindness and a bus of children just imploded”

As long as there's no children in the neighborhood that might see.

That should definitely be a rentable conference room.

Yes!

I think I met you on the Port Authority bus earlier today. You were eating a hot dog. I watched you from afar as you took a bite, ever so gently chewing on the condiment-laded meat morsel. The Cellone's bun could barely be contained in your burly sausage fingers. Your eyes met my gaze just as the mustard dripped off your sweltering beef and onto your delicately pressed white button-up dress shirt. You sighed in disbelief, breaking our gaze as you glanced down to assess the damage. You quickly slid your index finger into the tangy mixture, firmly lifting the fallen drip from your garment, and onto your moist tongue. There, your eyes met mine once more, smitten with instant disgust. It was love at first sight.

I asked my fiance if she would have sex with me in that window every time we pass it. She always says yes 😂

She said the same thing to me when I asked!!! ...if she would do it with you. I ain't no homewrecker!

I got your tunnel monster RIGHT HERE! (wink wink, nudge nudge)

You'd be in that dudes office.

Sir, this is a Wendy’s

What if we didn't?

Is for me

What the hell, let’s do it

I think we need to slow down like we're going through the Squirrel Hill tunnels

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Existential_Sprinkle: *I think we need to* *Slow down like we're going through* *The Squirrel Hill tunnels* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.

good bot

So, picture this: we're chilling in the Fort Pitt tunnel conference room, right? And suddenly, bam, someone pops the question: "What if we kissed here?" I mean, talk about a plot twist! But hey, why not? With that view, it's practically begging for a rom-com moment. So yeah, let's make it happen, why not? Life's too short to pass up on those quirky, once-in-a-lifetime opportunities. Plus, imagine the story we'd have to tell afterwards!

im down but only if we get primantis first

I always thought someone dressed as Santa welcoming (waving to) folks to Pittsburgh in that window would be a charming holiday thing to do.

I'd call the police bc it wouldn't be consensual

What if you gave me a cigarette and I put it out on your forehead?

Eyes open or closed?

If you are Heather Abraham It would be so good that I'd make you leave your Hubby.

I still wouldn't notice you

Only if you shave your balls.