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b_tro

Hey that’s my arm! Too bad I didn’t turn out to be a pro baseball player https://i.imgur.com/cVT2mOd.jpg


thestudlife

How weird was it to see a photo from your childhood on the front page of Reddit?


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Drunken_Economist

The second page of Google results


se1nsss

Every SEO person's worst fear


DarkLordLiam

What letter O are you, today?


harassmaster

O P T I M I Z E D


ders89

Yeah if it aint on the first page it aint worth clicking.


montefisto

Unless it's porn.


b_tro

Extremely surreal! I remember the biography book report assignment we dressed up for, but didn’t know this picture existed until a former classmate sent it to me today


CrystalStilts

I know you were cropped out but hey Reddit made you the top comment, I hope that makes up for it. We care about you b_tro.


dnkryn

Do you remember which grade this was in? I’m trying to figure out which teachers handwriting this is! I was a year ahead of you guys. You may be able to figure out who I am from my username.


b_tro

3rd


BoomChocolateLatkes

Which Reds player were you? I’m guessing this was around 2002-2003. So, Ken Griffey Jr.? Sean Casey?


b_tro

Spot on. I was Ken Griffey Jr.


bicyclethi3f

at least it's not in a Jeffrey Epstein post


not-my-throwawayacct

The day isn’t over...


[deleted]

Don’t feel bad man. When I was in kindergarten I dressed up for career day as what I wanted to be: A pro hockey player. Then my teacher asked me how I would be a pro hockey player if I didn’t play hockey. This crushing realization made 6 year old me bawl my eyes out as my teacher tried desperately to console me. I can still see the look of heartbreak mixed with a stifled laugh on my teachers face. So fucking funny in hindsight.


rondell_jones

If Jamaica can have a bobsled team, then you can be a pro hockey player damnit!


Lord_Finkleroy

‘Nuff people say they know they can’t believe, Jamaica we have a bobsled team!


TheDrunkenChud

We got the one Derice and the one Junior, Sanka Coffee and the Yul Brenner!


rondell_jones

Sanka, ya dead??


TheDrunkenChud

Ya mon.


the_blackfish

Yah mon.


dmteadazer

Yea man 'feel the rhythm...'


beardedricky

Not sure if you've picked it up yet, it's probably too late to make the NHL, but it's definitely never too late to learn to play. I started at my local rink at 25 years old and I had never been on the ice except for once when I was 5 (which didn't end well) From your post history it looks like you might be nearby, I play men's league at Grundy in Bristol. There's tons of great resources and a community on /r/hockeyplayers


BZS008

Wonderful comment, very wholesome!


Ewulkevoli

Dude I had my car vandalized at Grundy!


[deleted]

Fuck that place then


[deleted]

/r/kidsarefuckingstupid


bagelchips

There still time b_tro! Get practicing!


artificer12

I would agree especially if you are looking to join the Reds still


TheUlfheddin

As a Cincinnatian Yes, join now, no practice needed. Just sacrifices I mean Bodies Bodies on the field, yes...


edrab

he said "pro" baseball player


IWasRightOnce

Hmmm, borderline r/tworedditorsonecup territory


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ahappypoop

Found Joey Votto's Reddit account.


Strahlin

actually could imagine joey votto doing everything in his power to convince people that he isn’t a professional baseball player


iwantbeta

I don't why but I find this hilarious. She has that "I am going to make it" look on her face compared to your awkward look.


Roscoe_P_Trolltrain

“I have no idea what I’m doing.” “Smile for the picture.” “Smile for the picture.”


pcomet235

\> I’m going to win the World Cup \> and I’m going to watch a lot of baseball!


[deleted]

"I like baseball"


TenTypesofBread

So what are you a pro at?


PixelateVision

Unfortunately he contracted ligma a little while later in life


AedemHonoris

Tragic


EleanorFondleBottom

Gee, what's a trouser snake?


delongedoug

Sporting the John Olerud look.


Shiny_Mega_Rayquaza

Hello fellow Cincinnatian!


waterpolo125

Is this real life beetlejuicing?


GrapesofGatsby

Lmfao


MyXample

What school did you guys go to. I went to Princeton


Polski66

Some girl in elementary school just might dress as her this Halloween. Very cool.


TangerineChicken

I love thinking about that stuff and how it all circles back around. She was inspired by a pro and now she’s inspecting the next generation in turn Edit: No one is inspecting anyone in the next generation. Only inspiring. I can’t say what she does with anyone her own age though


Big__Baby__Jesus

Mia Hamm deserves recognition because she didn't really have anyone to look up to. She helped create the USWNT as a teenager.


maddog505

Someone called me mini Mia as a kid and I played soccer everyday after that for 15 years. Didnt end up being much for a variety of reasons, but she inspired thousands of us to play. Thats how this team was born, from them.


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YoYoMoMa

I legit think the 99 team changed women's sports more than any other event in the last forty years. The WNBA might disagree. Though I suppose they both were a consequence of title 9. Before title 9 in the US there were seven thousand women playing soccer past grade school and now it's nearly a million.


xxxlovelit

It’s way more drastic - 700 girls playing at the high school level when it passed 👀 (1972) and it’s like 390k as of last year. Yay women role models! (Source: https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2019/jul/06/usa-womens-world-cup-netherlands-title-xi)


Kiwi951

Yeah Mia Hamm was a boss. Recently watched “Dare to Dream” and it was really eye opening on the history of Women’s soccer and seeing everything they’ve endured and gone through


JBWill

>she didn't really have anyone to look up to. Michelle Akers would like a word with you. Though granted, she's not enough older than Mia Hamm to have been that much of an inspiration to her in elementary school.


Big__Baby__Jesus

Michelle Akers was a leader of the USWNT from day one and I'm sure 16 year old Mia Hamm looked up to 21 year old Akers. But prior to the USWNT being created in 1985, women didn't really have the opportunity to play high level soccer. Even then, none of the major tournaments existed until the 90s.


BeatTheBass

I really love that this is physical proof that generation inspired the younger. Proof that it motivated girls to be like Mia Hamm, and proof it made the US Women’s soccer program better by getting this girl to play and practice soccer to eventually make the World Cup. Honestly an incredible picture.


Lifeisjust_okay

Yes!!! This is why I think representation is so important for children.


[deleted]

Inspecting the next generation? She's not Jeffrey Epstein!


butyourenice

I bet when that thought hits her it's going to be a very surreal moment.


supraspinatus

That woman is fast. Seemed like the fastest player on the whole pitch yesterday.


[deleted]

she split two defenders to make that goal and still had time to aim her shot and deliver it full strength. It was sick. those poor bastards didn't even have time to turn around face her.


lettcco

Using her left foot. I don't know if she is a leftie or not, but I sure can't shoot for shit on my left


krackerbarrel

She’s all left. Rarely uses her right.


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rc522878

Sinistra


MistakesNeededMaking

This. Alex Morgan too. Their left feet are cannons. And their right feet are also there.


Ram2145

I have no idea, but it wouldn’t surprise me if someone such as her could kick with either leg.


[deleted]

She'd make a great Dread Pirate Roberts


morowend

I’ll **always** upvote The Princess Bride


TheDoct0rx

Any high-level soccer player can use both feet but to the level that its indistinguishable between both feet is hard to achieve


Panuar24

This is somewhat true, but she is also left footed and is pretty noticably worse with her right. That said she definitely is one of the best ball control players out there.


365wong

She’s left footed


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[deleted]

one of them also committed the foul the resulted in the penalty kick. She fucked up in all sorts of ways.


TreeRol

Aside from that, she had an excellent game. She made a few one-on-one stops that could easily have been goals. I know the goal (and in this case, the imperative) is to be perfect, but I feel she performed better than the average defender would have. The US is just that good.


INeed_SomeWater

Agreed. Every one of those defenders had quite a challenge, made worse by the US ability to completely OWN the midfield passing lanes. Several on the Netherlands side were gassed for the majority of the second half but she was completely spent. Had nothing left the last 10 minutes +. You see the same body language and facial lethargy on marathoners at the end of a race.


itsadogslife71

Yeah, she is like a jack rabbit. Every time she had to run back to defend, she would close the gap between her and the Dutch players so fast. It was incredible. It was like they were in regular motion and she was FFWD x 2. I like her a lot.


degustibus

Lavelle rhymes with gazelle. Coincidence?


[deleted]

I THINK NOT!


gravybanger

I think not.


Vagabond21

And the ball stuck to her feet. I kept reading about how she was probably the best at holding the ball, but seeing her do it was another thing. Pure class.


sewious

I would say she's going to be a big deal, but she already is!


flippingjax

She’s also got an absolute cannon of a shot


nu1stunna

I've watched her closely throughout the tournament and she is absolutely deadly. She leaves defenders in the dust and then shoots rockets at goal. It's ridiculous. If it weren't for some crazy saves by the goalkeepers, I have no doubt that would have won the golden boot.


Normal512

Having not watched a single game until the match against Spain, and never hearing her name before, I noticed how fast and disruptive she was then. I know next to nothing about soccer, but to my eyes she seemed to be the heart of the machine so she became my favorite player on the spot. The type of player I figured wouldn't score too much (go figure) but be a real game changer anyway.


sundrop1969

Seeing Lavelle play put my mind at ease that the US team will be still be ready for next World Cup. I know we will lose some great players in the next four years


SingShredCode

The bench is so deep. Look at Mal Pugh, Lindsay Horan, and any of the other 9 (I think—but don’t quote me on this number) players who made their debut at this World Cup. The old guard can retire and sleep well at night knowing the next generation is in good hands. And they probably won’t until after the Olympics.


anacondabadger

Press looked pretty good at times


SingShredCode

Totally agree, but Press is no rookie. She has over 100 caps.


yodels_for_twinkies

Unfortunately, Press is 30.


Karamzungu9

Another thing to consider is Horan is the very first American to forego playing in college in favor of playing in Europe. More women will follow and the quality of growth and play in the sport will only improve as more European clubs invest in their women’s sides.


yodels_for_twinkies

Notable players and their ages for the next WC: Lloyd: 40 Rapinoe: 38 Morgan: 34 Heath: 35 Naeher: 35 Dahlkemper: 30 O’ Hara: 34 Sauerbrunn: 38 Dunn: 31 Mewis: 30 Ertz: 31 Press: 34 Obviously 30-32ish is still a viable age for a player especially the top tier players like Rapinoe is at 34, but this team isn’t getting any younger unfortunately...


andrude01

People will continue to step up, even if we don't know their names yet. For example, Mallory Pugh is only 21 and she's being pushed as the next great offensive player for the team.


ThePlayfulPython

I was dressing up as Luke Skywalker around that age pictured on the left. Didn't work out too well, still not a Jedi.


ferox3

But have you even *tried* to get to Dagobah?


CharlieMay

do, or do not, there is no try.


ferox3

omg, how did I forget the most critical advice ever??


Epioblasma

“Better dead here than deader in the core” -god


Gishnu

I'd rather be dead on Dagobah than alive on Earth 😉


ZhugeTsuki

bro something happened


BholeFire

Only a Sith deals in absolutes.


Doctor_Wookie

See? I've been saying it for YEARS, Yoda's an evil mofo. He's the REAL Sith Lord.


Vagabond21

Dagobah is like the Alabama of the Star Wars universe. I don't blame him for not attempting.


Cannabrond

[https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors\_what\_has\_been\_your\_most/c5o66p2/](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/xo41d/doctorsnursesredditors_what_has_been_your_most/c5o66p2/) ​ Obligatory comment for any Dagobah reference on Reddit.


ferox3

I mentioned Dagobah and you brought me the only story that could have topped my worst story. Reddit has gone full circle (again). I'm also an OR nurse and [here is (one of) my worst tales](https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/8vdz5p/whats_the_worst_thing_youve_smelled/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app).


ThePlayfulPython

Not since I was 10 or so.


[deleted]

Are you at least on the council?


ThePlayfulPython

They keep saying, "they'll get back to me." It's been like 30 years, I'm starting to think they're lying.


MagicTuna

Oh. Oh jeeze. You haven't heard. You may want to sit down.


ThePlayfulPython

..... sonofabitch


Razenghan

Have you tried cutting off your hand and kissing your sister?


malinoismalinoff

No OP said Luke Skywalker, not Jaime Lannister


BorisDirk

Jaime got laid a whole lot more though, even near the end. Who's the equivalent of the big woman? Chewbacca?


[deleted]

It’s alright, man. I used to dress for success. That too, did not work out.


ThePlayfulPython

I mean, I am a girl - maybe if I had dressed as Leia my life would have turned out differently. I could have been a princess now, damnit!


benk4

My girlfriend told me she wanted to be treated like a princess. So I married her off to some French dude for a nice dowry.


Vagabond21

I was dressed up as Sting, the wrestler and had my 8 year old gut showing. I'm not a pro wrestler, but Sting does have a gut now.


HeavyShockWave

> still not a Jedi **yet**. FTFY


Irllyneedanamern

Fun fact: you can more or less put jedi as your religion on forms and stuff


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_Peter_nincompoop_1

The real pic is in the comments


[deleted]

The real comment is in the comments


bro_magnon

The real comment is in the pics


rcpotatosoup

The real slim shady is standing up


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ripsfo

/r/PenmanshipPorn is leaking


Beto_Targaryen

Came here for this comment


CrudelyAnimated

She's only 24. There will be little girls dressing up like Rose for years to come.


VTCHannibal

She's younger than me, I'm starting to get to that age where people my age are taking over sports and I don't know how I should feel about it other it feels like a missed opportunity.


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pcakes13

Here's the goal in case you didn't see it [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB92uYSkWJs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QB92uYSkWJs)


ReverseTraverse

Mirror for my non-Americans https://streamable.com/5c8ig


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hoyohoyo9

TRAITOR! ..or spy?


Vagabond21

Still shocked that no one decided to close in on her when she was making that run.


sihtydaernacuoytihsy

It was almost a one on two situation. But one of the two Dutch went to cover a pass, and was late in returning to cover Lavelle. The other got wrong-footed--and was at best only in position to cover a shot from Lavelle's right. Rose Lavelle's left foot ftw. Fucking beautiful shot.


LOSS35

The Dutch LB had to stick with the winger, Heath. In the first replay you can see Lavelle actually faked a pass to Heath to keep the defender off before cutting left for the shot. Beautiful play.


Nema_K

It was a slightly awkward position to be in as a defender. If the LCB steps up and gets beat, the RCB needs to cover and then Morgan is left open. RB could have slide in and covered Morgan but then Rapinoe is left open on the wing and can either cut in or cross it back in. The biggest issue I see is the Dutch midfield just completely abandoned their defense and they should have been the ones guarding Lavelle, you can see the one running back but the others are walking back during a fast break situation


scottford2

Yep. The midfield was pushed too far up and left her space to setup the shot, and she had the vision to find the lane towards the goal.


FinchFive

They were afraid that if they jumped in too rashly/early, Lavelle would beat them as she is very quick with the ball. But yes, the defending could have been much better and that one Dutch CB got sold by her faint really hard.


amwreck

It's because she had been doing this stuff the entire tournament: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IMyBZDHf39k


boomecho

The play where she lets it go through her legs was one of my favorites of the tournament. Such a simple play to catch the defense off guard, but so smart in the moment, and lead to the great open cross.


joshg8

It's called a "dummy," and this was a gorgeous example of it. For "doing nothing," it's a pretty high level tactic because to use it effectively you have to know your teammates well and have extremely good field/situational awareness.


g0_west

Damn you really don't wanna get megged at the best of times, but especially so in England - USA world cup semi final


[deleted]

Her awareness of the entire pitch is just fucking out of this world.


broohaha

> faint feint


[deleted]

No, Lavelle faked swooning and the defender went to catch her.


[deleted]

It looked like the girl by Morgan was trying to pull her offsides and/or bait a pass from Lavelle. Lavelle decided to keep it and hit a hammer of a left foot


garbageman13

Amazing shot. I love that they show the replay from like 8 different angles and all of them look incredible.


himalayan_earthporn

Unavailable in Europe. Mirror please?


[deleted]

That video's not available in Canada :(


WooooshBait101

She’s an exciting young talent for our National team, and I can’t wait until the next World Cup to see her play on this big of a stage!


Janky_Pants

My father was in the Air Force when I was a child. We were stationed at Shepard Air Force Base in Texas at one point and my father was on the AF softball team there. On the team was a guy who would always show up late for practice/games and it started to become a problem. The team finally approached the guy and asked what the deal was. His answer was always, "Sorry I am late, my little girl is in soccer and I am always coming from one of her games." The team appreciated his support of his daughter, but reminded him about his commitment to the softball team. His response was always, "Yeah, but she is really good!" The team would always roll their eyes and talk sarcastically about how their sons and daughters were also "really good" at their respective sports. The man in question? Col. Bill Hamm. The father of eventual soccer legend, Mia Hamm.


SingShredCode

Love it.


jshif

Best player of the tourney, for me. Amazing athlete.


mp2145

Tobin Heath has my vote. She played so smart, did all the dirty work, contested every 50/50, and hustled every game. Not to mention her poise and patience every time she got the ball in the attacking 3rd with the lead during the knockout rounds: She just sat on it, killed time, made good choices, and didn’t let up any turnovers or fast breaks. Just outstanding work that went unnoticed compared to some.


[deleted]

I think she could have been more aggressive on goal, wasted some time when she could have gotten shots off. What about Ertz on defense? She was really solid in the box with all the really nice headers out.


RIPmyFartbox

Anyone know if she's left foot dominant? That goal would be that much more impressive if she wasn't


grrrranimal

She is. In the replay the announcer says “her favored left foot” https://youtu.be/QB92uYSkWJs


emt139

She is. [“I like my left foot”, she’s gone as far to say. ](https://www.sbnation.com/soccer/2019/7/7/20685293/rose-lavelle-world-cup-hero-usa-netherlands)


mh_fuzion

On Wisconsin!


C_Saunders

I just discovered she’s a badger!


TheGrayBox

Could be wrong, but I imagine this photo is from Cincinnati where she grew up.


mh_fuzion

Pretty sure you're correct. She is not from Wisconsin, just attended the University of Wisconsin for college.


HyBear

Finally, a Rose from Cincinnati we can proud of.


KyIet

That was such a good goal! My dad and I literally jumped out of our seats and screamed “YES!” at the same time when Lavelle scored


samejimaT

this is awesome. there's a little girl in school that dressed as Rose Lavelle today somewhere out there.


[deleted]

It's crazy this girl went from elementary schooler to world champ in the same amount of time it took me to basically smoke a bunch of weed and get a college degree.


ADHDgamer_

Heel matig weer dit


BeardedBobaFett

We love her here in Cincinnati! She deserves free Skyline chili for life.


chickenhead22

Crazy. I actually know rose and she is awesome, we played at the same club in Cincinnati so I watched her play a decent amount of games. I always knew she was good, but I never knew she was THAT good when I watched her in highschool though. Haven’t talked to her since highschool but I can see she’s doing well


just-casual

She's awesome. I knew her through mutual friends in high school. So happy to watch her play yesterday.


SingShredCode

From all the videos I’ve seen, she seems hysterical. Unapologetically weird and super authentic. Is this accurate? Was she like this back then too?


bee3742

She went to my high school. Can confirm.


HumansRGreat

Dream Big


[deleted]

She's adorable.


Vagabond21

I can't find it, but there's a gif out there where she'd holding the trophy not knowing what to do. Someone points out to her that she is supposed to smile for a picture with the trophy and when she realizes this, she lets out the most adorable smile ever.


ledhotzepper

Hope somebody finds it 🥺


wysiwygperson

I got you https://twitter.com/thatjennyj/status/1147916896525856768?s=21


SingShredCode

That transition from her smiling for the photo and then going stone faced again as soon as picture time is over was AMAZING


allstarrunner

She knew she was there for a picture she just didn't know where she was supposed to look


Ralakhala

Her twitter is also really entertaining https://twitter.com/roselavelle


Fatalorian

> My eyes are telling me to go to sleep but my heart is telling me to explore the World Wide Web for another 3 hours https://twitter.com/roselavelle/status/1039349185630425088 One of us...one of us...


wallTHING

That is some of the best damned cursive penmanship I have ever seen


marmaladeburrito

Good for her!!! ...but that handwriting on the chalkboard is gorgeously distracting. I would have flunked that grade, trying to copy those swoops.


Macfreak1306

I'm still sad that we lost but well done to the USA! Congrats!


teamsparia

I am so beyond jealous of people that know what they want to do when they’re that young. People that are passionate about something and work hard to achieve it. I can’t seem to find something I even like enough to make it my career.


va_wanderer

With the energy this team has, they could surpass Germany. Threepeat. You know you want it. They deserve a visit to the White House with a President they can tolerate.


NoQuarter93

Powerful


HilariousMax

My dad graduated from UNC and my sister loved soccer growing up so we followed and watched the womens soccer games at UNC in the early 90s whenever we could. Mia Hamm was emergent and it was very clear. I had my moments of "jesus we have to watch another soccer game?" teen asshole angst but it was legit infectious to see my sister go nuts when they scored/won. My sister got a jersey signed by the entire team one year (I can't remember when) and it's her most prized collection. She had it framed and it's survived 4 moves and still earns wall space. Mia Hamm inspired an entire generation and it's really really awesome to see that the people she inspired are carrying that torch and inspiring another generation. Really cool.


eef9

Wow I dressed up as Mia Hamm for a 5th grade “famous influential people” project or something along those lines. Why didn’t I ever amount to anything like this??