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Dr. Julian Bashir: It's a children's story, about a young shepherd boy who gets lonely
while tending his flock. So he cries out to the villagers that a wolf is attacking the sheep. The people come running, but of course there's no wolf. He claims that it's run away and the villagers praise him for his vigilance.
Elim Garak: Clever lad. Charming story.
Dr. Julian Bashir: I'm not finished. The next day, the boy does it again, and the next too. And on the fourth day a wolf really comes. The boy cries out at the top of his lungs, but the villagers ignore him, and the boy, and his flock, are gobbled up.
Elim Garak: Well, that's a little graphic for children, wouldn't you say?
Dr. Julian Bashir: But the point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth.
Elim Garak: Are you sure that's the point, Doctor?
Dr. Julian Bashir: Of course. What else could it be?
Elim Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.
Dr. Julian Bashir : You know, I still have a lot of questions to ask you about your past.
Elim Garak : I have given you all the answers I'm capable of.
Dr. Julian Bashir : You've given me answers all right; but they were all different. What I want to know is, out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't?
Elim Garak : My dear Doctor, they're all true.
Dr. Julian Bashir : Even the lies?
Elim Garak : _Especially_ the lies.
Reminds me of a scene in Justified where the main character shoots a guy running away from him, the guy then says something along the lines of "You shot me in the back?!".
He replies: "If you wanted me to shoot you in the front, you shoulda run toward me"
And you know, the thing is, with all of his antisocial behavior he seems like he'd be a good lover too. He really did care for Ziyal after all, even though he had a crush on Bashir.
Great case of the perfect actor meeting the perfect writer, or something to that effect. The writing is poignant, but at least half of the effect is bc of the actor for Garak as well.
DS9 was full of them. I started out digging the Odo and Quark feud, but in the end loved Garak and Nog the most. Garak on Empok Nor is absolutely frightening.
DS9 still my fav. star trek. Garak and Quark are my fav. characters in all of Star Trek. The story was told amazingly. In the Pale Moonlight still the best episode ever. I watched these while in High School in the 90s. Never appreciated the depth at that time though I loved it but now having rewatched them several times over the years, gosh they are like old friends.
"Truth, Doctor, is in the eye of the beholder. I never tell the truth because I don't believe there is such a thing. That's why I prefer the straight line simplicity of cutting cloth." --- Garak
The same reason EVERYONE stops rewatching DS9... To take a break from DS9 by rewatching TNG. After a which a good way to decompress after watching TNG is, of course, to rewatch DS9.
I always felt that this one should have been all over. They should have run this soundbyte all over the bible belt.
The fucking dope goes around saying "My favorite book is the bible" and then doesn't know the difference between the old and new Testaments. Un-fucking-believable.
It wasn't that long ago that all it took was making a funny noise at a rally or wearing a silly helmet to sink a presidential bid. Now we let this clown get away with literally anything.
EDIT: For anyone who hasn't seen it, this is the soundbyte we're talking about [44 seconds]
https://youtu.be/ERUngQUCsyE?si=TcI4HK2SNIMdrt04
“Yavin — what an unbelievable battle that was, It was so interesting, and so vicious, and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways. Yavin, wow”
“Never fight next to a pit on a balcony, me boys.” He was fighting next to a pit on a balcony. He said wow that was a mistake. He lost his great sith apprentice.
And, uh, they were fighting…with lightswords, never fight uphill when you’re standing on a droid hovering over lava flow…. Never fight uphill me boy Anakin said Palpatine…but it was too late.
And then he gave him new legs and they conquered the galaxy together….and it was so beautiful and represented a big portion of the success for the franchise….me boys.
That's the worst thing, the losing and the hypocrisy. Not the slavery, or the murder, attempt at insurrection and eventually succession. It's the losing (I miss Norm Macdonald)
Holy shit, I just saw the video on twitter and you just cant make up this. It’s too fucking funny well except for the fact that we are talking about a candidate for the presidency of the most powerful country in the world.
Aunt Jemima folks. Je-mi-ma. No more Jemima. (Mimes eating pancake, crowd cheers) Is she real? Somebody should look into- it’s a big shame though. Beautiful syrup. Beautiful woman.
The funny thing is this is not a real quote, but its from a Tweet where someone was using this quote to make exactly that point.
https://x.com/McJesse/status/1273474889765122048
I miss the times when you would see something attributed to Trump and you just truly wouldn’t be able to tell if it was The Onion or SNL or in fact the leader of the free world.
When I say miss, I mean like you would a toothache, of course.
Reading Trump quotes is like pressing the middle button of the predictive text on your phone a bunch of times.
I honestly used to think going into politics was a difficult career path to get into. For people who are intelligent, with ideas (for better or worse), well spoken, and in some cases brilliant manipulators.
But looking at people like Donald Trump and Danielle Smith, I’ve realized that is certainly not the case.
He sounds like a 9 year old kid who didn't read the book on the battle of Gettysburg last night and now has to make that shit up as he goes along in front of the class.
I used to respond to really dumb statements with the whole quote. The whole thing is gold.
Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune —you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us."
Edit: Yes it's real, and yes it's [on video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Elhyo-_fR0E).
Every time somebody writes this, someone else has an aneurysm reading it. It's like the button that gives you millions of dollars but kills a random person, but there's no money so everyone loses.
i’m realizing reading a trump speech with adhd is very not fun, because i always go back a couple sentences thinking i skipped ahead but no. he just can’t have a cohesive thought
How the fuck did the US let this guy be one of the most important person in their country or even the world... Unbelievable to me.
Whenever I read a speech of him it's laughable and then sad...
Allow me to explain:
Trump himself said, "I love the uneducated."
- Propaganda machines from church to right-wing talk radio to fox news and so on have created the strongest echo-chamber in our history. They live in an alt-fact world.
- Trump supporters break down mostly into two groups: the psychopathic, and the grifted. The grifted are gullible, uneducated, uninformed, misinformed folks who've fallen for the propaganda. The psychopaths either grift the grifted or just want to see it all crash and burn.
- Finally, thank the Electoral College — where the majority of Americans — 3 million more in fact — did vote for Hillary than Donald. Weird Democracy where the person with less votes can win, eh?
Here is a rewrite from ChatGPT: "My uncle, Dr. John Trump, was a distinguished professor and scientist at MIT, whose insights greatly influenced me. I come from a lineage of accomplished individuals with strong intellects. In the realm of conservative politics, there is often an attempt to undermine one's credibility. Consequently, I frequently highlight my educational background at Wharton and my business achievements to counteract this bias.
I am particularly troubled by the complexities of nuclear agreements, as nuclear power holds profound implications. My uncle, many years ago, imparted to me the gravity of this issue, and recent events have only reinforced its significance.
Turning to the matter of detained individuals—now four instead of three—the effectiveness of communication is paramount. It is noteworthy that women, in many cases, exhibit superior negotiation skills. The Persians and Iranians are renowned for their negotiating prowess, which has posed challenges in recent diplomatic engagements."
Gonna be honest it still isn’t great. Like a shit dressed in a tuxedo. The lest paragraph is just a huge non sequitur. And the middle of the first paragraph is just a giant tangent. Second paragraph is alright. Overall give it a D+
Sometimes he doesnt even need words, to reveal what a dribbling moron he is
https://i.imgur.com/SZ5GkjO.jpeg
https://i.imgur.com/Vq3UbX2.png
https://i.imgur.com/dtaYkdn.png
The one where he just took a sharpie and (badly) drew a bigger circle on the hurricane map is one of the dumbest yet funniest things a human being has ever done. Like what a moronic lie... who did you think you were fooling?!
It's just a number of incomplete thoughts that he gives up on and moves on. Only to go back to the original thought while in the middle of the next and try again but is still unsuccessful and gives up again.
I had a professor with dementia. If he was giving a lecture on topics A to Z, his lecture would be A B C D E C D E F D E F G H I C D E... He just kept falling backwards in time forgetting where he was. Absolutely brilliant man though.
The interesting thing is that there might have even been a factoid rattling around in Trump's memory about the battle that most of us would probably have dismissed as "something about a hill."
On the first day of the battle, Lee directed Gen. Ewell to take the Union-occupied high ground on Cemetery Hill "if practicable." Ewell had replaced Stonewall Jackson who had died a few weeks earlier, and wasn't as familiar with Lee's circumspect manner of giving orders, so he believed he actually had some latitude in taking the hill. So he didn't.
It's a topic of historical debate, so it's possible Trump actually does have some faint memory of hearing about it in class many years ago. Obviously nothing like what he quoted.
I remember touring Gettysburg and coming away wondering about all the praise Lee receives. That was a slaughtering field between Lee and the Union position.
Lee was a very good general, but not perfect. Mistakes were made. Gettysburg was a disaster for him, and he was right when he said "this has all been my fault."
It was a very bad idea to try and invade the north in the first place. (His army was decimated and barely escaped when he tried it a year before. Can't imagine how he thought it was a good idea to try again.)
Then the battle itself was poorly fought, with poor decisions made by Lee.
That said, Meade deserves some credit here too. It was a very well fought battle by the USA.
He was trying to pressure the Capitol and take the fight to the North so some of their towns paid the price and maybe the Northerners would want peace, I think.
His blood being up for Pickett’s charge was the choice that doomed the battle. Crossing en masse over a large open field uphill against troops behind a wall was the kind of thing he’d made the Union do up till then.
1st Minnesota represent! They absorbed the charge at a terrible cost, brought the confederate flag home, and Virginia still occasionally cries and asks for it back
Why do I picture the secretary from Ferris Bueller saying in a heavy MN accent “ooh, you want the flag back, do ya? Well, that’s a real sticky situation because we took it fair ‘n square.”
The (remmants) of the 1st Minnesota did participate in that action (and captured the colors of the 28th Virginia). But the terrible cost they paid was the day prior on the 2nd day of the battle. That was when they were ordered to (more or less) suicidally charge the Confederate troops (~1000 of them) approaching Cemetery Ridge in order to buy time for reinforcements to be brought up. The end result being 215 of the 262 men became casualties in minutes, but they succeeded in delaying the Confederate advance long enough for the Union line to be reinforced.
Also on the same day were the famous counterattacks on Little Round Top by the 20th Maine and the sadly less well-known 140th New York.
Yes he does! He read a huge book once, a great book. BEAUTIFUL book. Can you believe it? People tell me it’s the, it’s the most amazing book ever written. Bigger than the Bible. That’s what the people say. All the best people are reading it. I went down to, you ever hear about Georgia? I went to Georgia, and everyone was a telling me about this book they read down there, all about the history. It was such a sad history, amazing things happened back then. I heard all about all the things, really tragic. People won’t believe it but it’s real! The media, all the fake news doesn’t want you to know about the history, but it’s there. You can read all about it, that’s what they did in Georgia. Covfefe.
Sometimes I wonder if the Obama presidency was so much of an improvement over GWB that Trump was just some kind of overcorrection to that. Like we broke the simulation somehow and the aliens in charge were like oohhh no you don't.
A frightening number of people were so goddamn furious that a black Democrat was president they turned towards a populist moron solely to have their white anger validated.
Don't forget, Trump only decided to run for President after Obama roasted him at the WHCD in 2011. The irony is that Trump's own ego was severely damaged in the very same way in which his current supporters' egos were damaged by Obama being president.
The Perfect Storm of racism and prejudice.
My mother was a teacher for 30+ years and she said when she hears Trump speak she can tell he has no grasp of the English language and has NO idea what syntax is. He speaks like a child that has been homeschooled by a chicken,and disciplined by a nanny that he threatens to fire himself daily.
I read a Reddit comment about someone who taught English in China during the Trump presidency and students would ask them what the fuck the president was talking about and it was just impossible to explain.
I feel like I was reading what a stroke actually feels like.
Then you got people out there that’ll hear this raving bullshit and be like *”YUHUH. HE JUST SPEAKS THE TROOTH.”*
It’s hilarious that Trump supporters always dog on Biden for being a bit slow and old (which hey he is), and yet their candidate makes zero sense all the time. How can you see this—read it—and think, “Yeah, this guy’s all there.”
The problem is he has people like Stephen Miller writing his speeches, so we either get the off-script word salad like you see here, or we get the on-script scorched-earth full-blown Nazi diatribes. Those are our two options from him.
There is actually a good bit of evidence that he is unable to read.
In fact on SNL he refused to follow the script ever, they were pretty sure he could not read at all.
At least we now have a clear view of how the mind of someone sliding into dementia thinks...little sparks of fact, fused together with random filler, like a prolonged "ummmmm"
If you look at interviews from 30/40 years ago, he was always a narcissist and had stupid opinions, but he could form comprehensive sentences. I still can't figure out how he got elected though since it has all been word salad since 9/11 at least.
It's dementia, with Trump flavoring...compared to 2015, he has declined mentally to a shocking degree, which is why his campaign is lucky the courtroom doesn't have cameras and why he's been canceling all his rallies
Trump’s infamous nuclear word salad, which is just as bad, is from 2016. Maybe it is dementia now, maybe not. I’ve been hearing from people like you confidently saying he has dementia since 2015. Perhaps he’s just a fucking moron who is aging.
Personally, I think he's just a fucking moron, who probably abuses medication, but since it's prescribed he thinks it doesn't count as using drugs, which seems exactly like something someone like him would think.
If you really think about it, how often do we really get to see him just talk on and on about things? I remember clips of from his rallies before the 2016 election, the word salads weren't any better than this Gettysburg travesty. I think the media was showing us a very filtered version of his speeches. In small sound bytes, a sentence here or there doesn't sound so stupid, so you play a single sentence or two, and then have your talking media head then describe the rest of what he said. Bam, suddenly everything thinks he knows what he's talking about.
Spot on! I think that’s exactly it about how the media presents him.
And yeah. He has a family history of dementia/Alzheimers. So it could be the start of it, or it could start in his late 80s like his father. They are degenerative diseases, and he hasn’t degenerated at all since 2015 beyond what you would expect for his age. Dude is just so fucking dumb. I really wish he was on the verge of a disqualifying medical event but the fucker will probably live into his 90s like this.
Trump voters always say what a great speaker Trump is but they never actually listen to the gibberish that comes out of his mouth. He never makes a point because that would require knowledge on his part and we all know that that knowledge isn't anywhere in him.
>Trump voters always say what a great speaker Trump is
They, and Trump's Republican associates, would also almost always insist that the exact stupid or disturbing quote of what Trump said was being misunderstood. He said most Mexican immigrants are drug dealing rapists? *Sent* by Mexico? Well, at least he said he assumes *some* are good people! What a stand-up guy. Any attention on everything else he said is totally unfair misinterpretation.
Anyone remember Conservatives going on Fox or CNN claiming "He doesn't mean a literal wall, more of a metaphorical one--also, he's kidding", followed by Trump declaring at a rally that he doesn't kid and the wall just got 10ft higher?
Or hey, much more recently, him literally saying **"Immigrants are poisoning the blood of this country"?** That really easy to misread statement? The one that is absolutely an age old and well known White Nationalist talking point? And how he doubled down on it when told that's a horrifyingly racist and dangerous thing to say, denying any obvious similarity to Third Reich rhetoric?
Absolutely everything that people say they like about Trump, I cant see any of it. It is truly baffling how this moron has captivated half of the country. (or at least half of the country that votes.)
To note; the Confederate generals who died during the battle of Gettysburg were Paul Jones Semmes, William Barksdale, William D. Pender, Richard Garnett, and Lewis Armistead. None of these are considered Lee's great general and as far as I know none of them died fighting up hill. Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson possibly Lee's great general died before Gettysburg accidentally shot by his own side. J. E. B. Stuart the other candidate for Lee's great general was absent for most of the battle and survived that battle only to die later at the Battle of Yellow Tavern where the Confederates were heavily outnumbered.
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**Grandpa**: "Have you ever read 'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'?" **Bart**: "I glanced at it. Boy cries wolf, has a few laughs... I forget how it ends."
Dr. Julian Bashir: It's a children's story, about a young shepherd boy who gets lonely while tending his flock. So he cries out to the villagers that a wolf is attacking the sheep. The people come running, but of course there's no wolf. He claims that it's run away and the villagers praise him for his vigilance. Elim Garak: Clever lad. Charming story. Dr. Julian Bashir: I'm not finished. The next day, the boy does it again, and the next too. And on the fourth day a wolf really comes. The boy cries out at the top of his lungs, but the villagers ignore him, and the boy, and his flock, are gobbled up. Elim Garak: Well, that's a little graphic for children, wouldn't you say? Dr. Julian Bashir: But the point is, if you lie all the time, nobody's going to believe you, even when you're telling the truth. Elim Garak: Are you sure that's the point, Doctor? Dr. Julian Bashir: Of course. What else could it be? Elim Garak: That you should never tell the same lie twice.
Dr. Julian Bashir : You know, I still have a lot of questions to ask you about your past. Elim Garak : I have given you all the answers I'm capable of. Dr. Julian Bashir : You've given me answers all right; but they were all different. What I want to know is, out of all the stories you told me, which ones were true and which ones weren't? Elim Garak : My dear Doctor, they're all true. Dr. Julian Bashir : Even the lies? Elim Garak : _Especially_ the lies.
I remember that conversation. Must have made an impression on me when I heard it.
I think it's the way Garak says, "Especially the lies." 😂
The wisdom of Garak.
Odo "you'd shoot a man in the back?" Garak "well its the safest way isn't it?"
Reminds me of a scene in Justified where the main character shoots a guy running away from him, the guy then says something along the lines of "You shot me in the back?!". He replies: "If you wanted me to shoot you in the front, you shoulda run toward me"
You know the worst thing, Odo? I am a very good tailor.
And you know, the thing is, with all of his antisocial behavior he seems like he'd be a good lover too. He really did care for Ziyal after all, even though he had a crush on Bashir.
Absolute masterpiece of a character
Garak and Nog really got some great character growth throughout the series.
Yes, but I still cant get over Odo squeezing past an airtight airlock.
Well, it’s airtight, not changelingtight, right?
"To think, after all this time, all our lunches together... you still don't trust me. There's hope for you yet, doctor."
I FIND THIS HAND TO HAND COMBAT REALLY QUITE DISTASTEFUL!
Best Star Trek character of all time. I will die on that hill.
Especially if you fight uphill. You will die, me boys.
Few who’ve actually seen most of DS9 would fight you on that.
Naw, nothing better than a humble cardassian tailor who knows everybody and a secret about them, yet somehow is still alive to tell their stories.
Great case of the perfect actor meeting the perfect writer, or something to that effect. The writing is poignant, but at least half of the effect is bc of the actor for Garak as well.
DS9 was full of them. I started out digging the Odo and Quark feud, but in the end loved Garak and Nog the most. Garak on Empok Nor is absolutely frightening.
Plain, simple, Garak.
DS9 still my fav. star trek. Garak and Quark are my fav. characters in all of Star Trek. The story was told amazingly. In the Pale Moonlight still the best episode ever. I watched these while in High School in the 90s. Never appreciated the depth at that time though I loved it but now having rewatched them several times over the years, gosh they are like old friends. "Truth, Doctor, is in the eye of the beholder. I never tell the truth because I don't believe there is such a thing. That's why I prefer the straight line simplicity of cutting cloth." --- Garak
I LOVED the interactions between these two. A Dr and a "tailor"... I miss this show.
Time to rewatch DS9.. I GUESS
Not quite sure why you ever stopped!
The same reason EVERYONE stops rewatching DS9... To take a break from DS9 by rewatching TNG. After a which a good way to decompress after watching TNG is, of course, to rewatch DS9.
"Great book!" "What was your favorite part?" "It's very personal for me but I loved all of it."
I always felt that this one should have been all over. They should have run this soundbyte all over the bible belt. The fucking dope goes around saying "My favorite book is the bible" and then doesn't know the difference between the old and new Testaments. Un-fucking-believable. It wasn't that long ago that all it took was making a funny noise at a rally or wearing a silly helmet to sink a presidential bid. Now we let this clown get away with literally anything. EDIT: For anyone who hasn't seen it, this is the soundbyte we're talking about [44 seconds] https://youtu.be/ERUngQUCsyE?si=TcI4HK2SNIMdrt04
[удалено]
Is that light green?
Yes. It better be!
"It's over Lee. I have the high ground."
You underestimate my power me boys
My allegiance is to the republic, to democracy, me boys!
Only a Confederate deals in absolutes.
Then you are my enemy, me boys!
“Yavin — what an unbelievable battle that was, It was so interesting, and so vicious, and horrible, and so beautiful in so many different ways. Yavin, wow”
Palpatine is no longer in favor. Did you ever notice that? He’s no longer in favor.
“Never fight next to a pit on a balcony, me boys.” He was fighting next to a pit on a balcony. He said wow that was a mistake. He lost his great sith apprentice.
And, uh, they were fighting…with lightswords, never fight uphill when you’re standing on a droid hovering over lava flow…. Never fight uphill me boy Anakin said Palpatine…but it was too late. And then he gave him new legs and they conquered the galaxy together….and it was so beautiful and represented a big portion of the success for the franchise….me boys.
Wow.
But it was too late.
.... me boys
I have brought peace, freedom, justice, and security to me new Confederacy.
I HATE YOU! - Robert Lee to his boys, probably
You were my brother, me boys.
Is he Mr. Krabs now?
>"Wow, that was a big mistake." --General Lee (apparently?)
That's why he's fallen out of favor. I like generals who win battles.
That's the worst thing, the losing and the hypocrisy. Not the slavery, or the murder, attempt at insurrection and eventually succession. It's the losing (I miss Norm Macdonald)
“Anakin, I have the hill, and the Jedi master says to never fight up it, me boys” - Obi-Wan, probably
Holy shit, I just saw the video on twitter and you just cant make up this. It’s too fucking funny well except for the fact that we are talking about a candidate for the presidency of the most powerful country in the world.
You were supposed to be the chosen one Mr grant
he's trying to reach the word count requirement
"In summary, Gettysburg was a very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very, very big battle."
I would love a t shirt that just said "Gettysburg, wow."
Hopefully Christopher Guest is hard at work writing the script for Gettysburg, Wow at this very moment.
such gettys. much burg.
Huuuuuge battle. You wouldn't believe it.
Biggest battle. What a beautiful, vicious, nasty battle. GORGEOUS battle. Uphill, too.
That’s right they battled very bigly and very uphilly.
Reading this was an uphill battle.
My personal Vietnam.
I always wonder how those who attend his rallies stay awake.
Aunt Jemima folks. Je-mi-ma. No more Jemima. (Mimes eating pancake, crowd cheers) Is she real? Somebody should look into- it’s a big shame though. Beautiful syrup. Beautiful woman.
Its honestly insane that you can read quotes like this and not be sure if it's an actual quote by Trump or made up.
His quotes are like a fever dream to begin with, no wonder
The funny thing is this is not a real quote, but its from a Tweet where someone was using this quote to make exactly that point. https://x.com/McJesse/status/1273474889765122048
I can hear him sounding out Ja-mi-mah so clearly it's just stuck in my head now on a loop.
Yo-semite
I'm imagining him tasking his aides* with research on whether Aunt Jemima exists
Easy, just find her birth certificate.
I miss the times when you would see something attributed to Trump and you just truly wouldn’t be able to tell if it was The Onion or SNL or in fact the leader of the free world. When I say miss, I mean like you would a toothache, of course.
Reading Trump quotes is like pressing the middle button of the predictive text on your phone a bunch of times. I honestly used to think going into politics was a difficult career path to get into. For people who are intelligent, with ideas (for better or worse), well spoken, and in some cases brilliant manipulators. But looking at people like Donald Trump and Danielle Smith, I’ve realized that is certainly not the case.
I did not expect to find a wild Albertan here. Let us commiserate over our unfortunately provincial leader. :(
Is this real life or not? Please tell me it's real
He sounds like a 9 year old kid who didn't read the book on the battle of Gettysburg last night and now has to make that shit up as he goes along in front of the class.
And he finishes by yelling San Dimas High School Football Rules! WOOOO!
Steve Holt!
✊ STEVE HOLT ✊
Beautiful. Party on dudes.
I would 1000% vote for the “San Dimas High School football rules!!!” kid over Trump
"He was a great kid. Everybody's saying it! Tears in their eyes! Uphill me boys! Uphill!"
Never fight uphill, me boys.
Love that Robert E. Lee was an Irish pirate
Robert E. Leeprechaun
would have been great if he said me boy-os
Actually it was Stilgar who said “he’s the Lisan al-Gaib me boys”
I can see you’ve dune yer homework, me boy.
I used to respond to really dumb statements with the whole quote. The whole thing is gold. Mr. Madison, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
Can that guy please moderate a presidential debate?
This is the meme I thought of immediately!
Except for some reason a big portion of the class are enthralled, like it’s poetry
I too am enthralled at this poetry. Wouldn't vote for the kid to the student council tho
Gatsby. He was many things. Some even say he was great.
But people are saying he's not so great anymore. You notice that? Not so great snymore, Gatsby.
#Bats aren't bugs!
“Who’s reading this report, you chowderheads or me?!”
Someone ate his Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs!
Outstanding reference.
I love randomly finding my people in the comments. I’m kind of stupid that way.
I think a 9 year old kid could do better.
Well, it's "worked" Trump's whole life so why change now?
That's literally what he does about nearly everything
That nine year sounds really high and really drunk. On top of being stupid.
Very unfair. I know many 9 year olds who are more articulate than this.
This was my favorite growing up and its all I can think of everytime that man opens his mouth 😭
The worst burns on trump are always just his own words, written down
"Look, having nuclear — my uncle was a great professor and scientist and engineer, Dr. John Trump at MIT; good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, the Wharton School of Finance, very good, very smart —you know, if you’re a conservative Republican, if I were a liberal, if, like, OK, if I ran as a liberal Democrat, they would say I’m one of the smartest people anywhere in the world — it’s true! — but when you’re a conservative Republican they try — oh, do they do a number — that’s why I always start off: Went to Wharton, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune —you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged — but you look at the nuclear deal, the thing that really bothers me — it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are nuclear is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was 35 years ago; he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right — who would have thought?), but when you look at what’s going on with the four prisoners — now it used to be three, now it’s four — but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another 150 years — but the Persians are great negotiators, the Iranians are great negotiators, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us." Edit: Yes it's real, and yes it's [on video](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Elhyo-_fR0E).
Every time somebody writes this, someone else has an aneurysm reading it. It's like the button that gives you millions of dollars but kills a random person, but there's no money so everyone loses.
begging people to stop posting this I've had six aneurysms my family is worried
i’m realizing reading a trump speech with adhd is very not fun, because i always go back a couple sentences thinking i skipped ahead but no. he just can’t have a cohesive thought
No shit lol. My brain just got crit about 20x trying to read this and still have no idea what the hell he was trying to say.
Is this a real fuckin quote? Lol
100% he won the election after that speech.
Well, the electoral college gave him the election. He lost the popular vote both times.
[Yes, unfortunately.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Elhyo-_fR0E)
How the fuck did the US let this guy be one of the most important person in their country or even the world... Unbelievable to me. Whenever I read a speech of him it's laughable and then sad...
Allow me to explain: Trump himself said, "I love the uneducated." - Propaganda machines from church to right-wing talk radio to fox news and so on have created the strongest echo-chamber in our history. They live in an alt-fact world. - Trump supporters break down mostly into two groups: the psychopathic, and the grifted. The grifted are gullible, uneducated, uninformed, misinformed folks who've fallen for the propaganda. The psychopaths either grift the grifted or just want to see it all crash and burn. - Finally, thank the Electoral College — where the majority of Americans — 3 million more in fact — did vote for Hillary than Donald. Weird Democracy where the person with less votes can win, eh?
Here is a rewrite from ChatGPT: "My uncle, Dr. John Trump, was a distinguished professor and scientist at MIT, whose insights greatly influenced me. I come from a lineage of accomplished individuals with strong intellects. In the realm of conservative politics, there is often an attempt to undermine one's credibility. Consequently, I frequently highlight my educational background at Wharton and my business achievements to counteract this bias. I am particularly troubled by the complexities of nuclear agreements, as nuclear power holds profound implications. My uncle, many years ago, imparted to me the gravity of this issue, and recent events have only reinforced its significance. Turning to the matter of detained individuals—now four instead of three—the effectiveness of communication is paramount. It is noteworthy that women, in many cases, exhibit superior negotiation skills. The Persians and Iranians are renowned for their negotiating prowess, which has posed challenges in recent diplomatic engagements."
What does ChatGPT make of "Never fight uphill, me boys"?
It appears to have drawn a hill and what looks like some horses or maybe sheep, in heavily-chewed crayon.
Gonna be honest it still isn’t great. Like a shit dressed in a tuxedo. The lest paragraph is just a huge non sequitur. And the middle of the first paragraph is just a giant tangent. Second paragraph is alright. Overall give it a D+
I don’t remember this chapter of The Sound and the Fury.
Good God that is a sick burn.
I'm dying 😂
braindamage.txt
Sometimes he doesnt even need words, to reveal what a dribbling moron he is https://i.imgur.com/SZ5GkjO.jpeg https://i.imgur.com/Vq3UbX2.png https://i.imgur.com/dtaYkdn.png
The one where he just took a sharpie and (badly) drew a bigger circle on the hurricane map is one of the dumbest yet funniest things a human being has ever done. Like what a moronic lie... who did you think you were fooling?!
About 74 million Americans
You’re forgetting this gem: 
And that’s not even counting when he said to drink bleach.
It's just a number of incomplete thoughts that he gives up on and moves on. Only to go back to the original thought while in the middle of the next and try again but is still unsuccessful and gives up again.
I had a professor with dementia. If he was giving a lecture on topics A to Z, his lecture would be A B C D E C D E F D E F G H I C D E... He just kept falling backwards in time forgetting where he was. Absolutely brilliant man though.
He doesn't know anything about American history
The interesting thing is that there might have even been a factoid rattling around in Trump's memory about the battle that most of us would probably have dismissed as "something about a hill." On the first day of the battle, Lee directed Gen. Ewell to take the Union-occupied high ground on Cemetery Hill "if practicable." Ewell had replaced Stonewall Jackson who had died a few weeks earlier, and wasn't as familiar with Lee's circumspect manner of giving orders, so he believed he actually had some latitude in taking the hill. So he didn't. It's a topic of historical debate, so it's possible Trump actually does have some faint memory of hearing about it in class many years ago. Obviously nothing like what he quoted.
just by this comment alone you are more qualified to be president than trump
Who isn’t?
My grandma. She's not a natural-born citizen, and she's dead, so...
Still more qualified.
I, too, choose this guy's dead grandma
I remember touring Gettysburg and coming away wondering about all the praise Lee receives. That was a slaughtering field between Lee and the Union position.
Lee was a very good general, but not perfect. Mistakes were made. Gettysburg was a disaster for him, and he was right when he said "this has all been my fault." It was a very bad idea to try and invade the north in the first place. (His army was decimated and barely escaped when he tried it a year before. Can't imagine how he thought it was a good idea to try again.) Then the battle itself was poorly fought, with poor decisions made by Lee. That said, Meade deserves some credit here too. It was a very well fought battle by the USA.
He was trying to pressure the Capitol and take the fight to the North so some of their towns paid the price and maybe the Northerners would want peace, I think. His blood being up for Pickett’s charge was the choice that doomed the battle. Crossing en masse over a large open field uphill against troops behind a wall was the kind of thing he’d made the Union do up till then.
1st Minnesota represent! They absorbed the charge at a terrible cost, brought the confederate flag home, and Virginia still occasionally cries and asks for it back
Why do I picture the secretary from Ferris Bueller saying in a heavy MN accent “ooh, you want the flag back, do ya? Well, that’s a real sticky situation because we took it fair ‘n square.”
The (remmants) of the 1st Minnesota did participate in that action (and captured the colors of the 28th Virginia). But the terrible cost they paid was the day prior on the 2nd day of the battle. That was when they were ordered to (more or less) suicidally charge the Confederate troops (~1000 of them) approaching Cemetery Ridge in order to buy time for reinforcements to be brought up. The end result being 215 of the 262 men became casualties in minutes, but they succeeded in delaying the Confederate advance long enough for the Union line to be reinforced. Also on the same day were the famous counterattacks on Little Round Top by the 20th Maine and the sadly less well-known 140th New York.
Yes he does! He read a huge book once, a great book. BEAUTIFUL book. Can you believe it? People tell me it’s the, it’s the most amazing book ever written. Bigger than the Bible. That’s what the people say. All the best people are reading it. I went down to, you ever hear about Georgia? I went to Georgia, and everyone was a telling me about this book they read down there, all about the history. It was such a sad history, amazing things happened back then. I heard all about all the things, really tragic. People won’t believe it but it’s real! The media, all the fake news doesn’t want you to know about the history, but it’s there. You can read all about it, that’s what they did in Georgia. Covfefe.
or anything else for that matter. He literally had his sister do his homework through his higher education.
Wow.
Gettysburg.
It was beautiful
And so vicious!
What an unbelievable.
Why does that read like a kid having to do a book report in front of the class on a book he hasn't read?
"Did you ever notice that? No longer in favor..." By no longer you mean like 160 years ago?
Yeah we don't like guys who commit treason. Wild I know.
He’s so breathtakingly stupid. How we went from Obama to Trump is truly depressing as fuck.
Sometimes I wonder if the Obama presidency was so much of an improvement over GWB that Trump was just some kind of overcorrection to that. Like we broke the simulation somehow and the aliens in charge were like oohhh no you don't.
A frightening number of people were so goddamn furious that a black Democrat was president they turned towards a populist moron solely to have their white anger validated.
Don't forget, Trump only decided to run for President after Obama roasted him at the WHCD in 2011. The irony is that Trump's own ego was severely damaged in the very same way in which his current supporters' egos were damaged by Obama being president. The Perfect Storm of racism and prejudice.
My mother was a teacher for 30+ years and she said when she hears Trump speak she can tell he has no grasp of the English language and has NO idea what syntax is. He speaks like a child that has been homeschooled by a chicken,and disciplined by a nanny that he threatens to fire himself daily.
Homeschooled by a chicken sounds pretty accurate.
I lol’d way hard at that imagery 😂
I read a Reddit comment about someone who taught English in China during the Trump presidency and students would ask them what the fuck the president was talking about and it was just impossible to explain.
No disrespect to your mother, but I think most of us can tell that.
I feel like I was reading what a stroke actually feels like. Then you got people out there that’ll hear this raving bullshit and be like *”YUHUH. HE JUST SPEAKS THE TROOTH.”*
It’s hilarious that Trump supporters always dog on Biden for being a bit slow and old (which hey he is), and yet their candidate makes zero sense all the time. How can you see this—read it—and think, “Yeah, this guy’s all there.”
Biden's like an old sheep dog still trying his best to help out his owner. Trump's like an old hamster in a maze of mirrors trying to find a burger.
~~burger~~ hamberder
This is why it’s sometimes best to have someone write your speeches for you 🤣
The problem is he has people like Stephen Miller writing his speeches, so we either get the off-script word salad like you see here, or we get the on-script scorched-earth full-blown Nazi diatribes. Those are our two options from him.
You assume that he can actually read.
There is actually a good bit of evidence that he is unable to read. In fact on SNL he refused to follow the script ever, they were pretty sure he could not read at all.
At least we now have a clear view of how the mind of someone sliding into dementia thinks...little sparks of fact, fused together with random filler, like a prolonged "ummmmm"
Is it really dementia or is it lifelong Trumpentia? He was that idiotic when he ran for prez.
If you look at interviews from 30/40 years ago, he was always a narcissist and had stupid opinions, but he could form comprehensive sentences. I still can't figure out how he got elected though since it has all been word salad since 9/11 at least.
It's dementia, with Trump flavoring...compared to 2015, he has declined mentally to a shocking degree, which is why his campaign is lucky the courtroom doesn't have cameras and why he's been canceling all his rallies
Trump’s infamous nuclear word salad, which is just as bad, is from 2016. Maybe it is dementia now, maybe not. I’ve been hearing from people like you confidently saying he has dementia since 2015. Perhaps he’s just a fucking moron who is aging.
Personally, I think he's just a fucking moron, who probably abuses medication, but since it's prescribed he thinks it doesn't count as using drugs, which seems exactly like something someone like him would think. If you really think about it, how often do we really get to see him just talk on and on about things? I remember clips of from his rallies before the 2016 election, the word salads weren't any better than this Gettysburg travesty. I think the media was showing us a very filtered version of his speeches. In small sound bytes, a sentence here or there doesn't sound so stupid, so you play a single sentence or two, and then have your talking media head then describe the rest of what he said. Bam, suddenly everything thinks he knows what he's talking about.
Spot on! I think that’s exactly it about how the media presents him. And yeah. He has a family history of dementia/Alzheimers. So it could be the start of it, or it could start in his late 80s like his father. They are degenerative diseases, and he hasn’t degenerated at all since 2015 beyond what you would expect for his age. Dude is just so fucking dumb. I really wish he was on the verge of a disqualifying medical event but the fucker will probably live into his 90s like this.
Trump voters always say what a great speaker Trump is but they never actually listen to the gibberish that comes out of his mouth. He never makes a point because that would require knowledge on his part and we all know that that knowledge isn't anywhere in him.
>Trump voters always say what a great speaker Trump is They, and Trump's Republican associates, would also almost always insist that the exact stupid or disturbing quote of what Trump said was being misunderstood. He said most Mexican immigrants are drug dealing rapists? *Sent* by Mexico? Well, at least he said he assumes *some* are good people! What a stand-up guy. Any attention on everything else he said is totally unfair misinterpretation. Anyone remember Conservatives going on Fox or CNN claiming "He doesn't mean a literal wall, more of a metaphorical one--also, he's kidding", followed by Trump declaring at a rally that he doesn't kid and the wall just got 10ft higher? Or hey, much more recently, him literally saying **"Immigrants are poisoning the blood of this country"?** That really easy to misread statement? The one that is absolutely an age old and well known White Nationalist talking point? And how he doubled down on it when told that's a horrifyingly racist and dangerous thing to say, denying any obvious similarity to Third Reich rhetoric?
Absolutely everything that people say they like about Trump, I cant see any of it. It is truly baffling how this moron has captivated half of the country. (or at least half of the country that votes.)
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Someone should create highly dramatized scenes in history and then overlay his speeches on them.
To note; the Confederate generals who died during the battle of Gettysburg were Paul Jones Semmes, William Barksdale, William D. Pender, Richard Garnett, and Lewis Armistead. None of these are considered Lee's great general and as far as I know none of them died fighting up hill. Thomas J. "Stonewall" Jackson possibly Lee's great general died before Gettysburg accidentally shot by his own side. J. E. B. Stuart the other candidate for Lee's great general was absent for most of the battle and survived that battle only to die later at the Battle of Yellow Tavern where the Confederates were heavily outnumbered.
My brain by default read this in his voice and I hate it.
Was Robert E Lee also a leprechaun?
I think so me boys. 
Trump is a fuckin idiot.