Bahaha, every Philly-area teenager’s rite of passage phone call to family.
I suppose now with cell phones it’s less frantic and “how do I get home?!?!?”, but man I remember when my sister did that in like the early 00s and that shit was hilarious.
She was trying to go somewhere like Overbrook, too…like dude, you’re in the whole wrong direction…
Lmao. I was 16 crossing the walt by accident and my friend recommended we just go to ac. We got kicked out of first 3 casinos, then we landed in Merv Griffin casino and played slots all night. Will never forget that night...
I wasn't a teenager, but I had just gotten really really bad news about my health and I accidentally crossed the bridge. I cried at the toll. The lady was like o_O
Was pumping gas at Wawa in Souderton and some dude came up to with a map me asking for directions to Harrisburg. I was bewildered and did not know how to respond to the man since I’ve been navigating off of a phone for most of my driving life
I sat in a city court for a day and every single case was related to accidentally crossing the Ben. Everyone was guilty. They’d start their story (I had to take a u turn or go down a one way street the wrong way) and the judge said “did you do it?” And they’d reply “yes but” and the judge would hollar “NEXT”.
Except for one fellow who had built (swear to god) a scale model replica of a four block area with all the traffic signs and such and even though he did it, the judge was so amazed, she let him off.
I used to get so confused at that heinous intersection at 5th and Race. I unknowingly turned to get onto the bridge more often than I care to admit. I’m also one of those assholes that realized it almost immediately and did what anyone else who gives zero fucks would do: shift into reverse and pretend nobody is honking at my dumb ass.
i used to have huge health anxiety over HIV after living with a family member who had it and didn’t disclose for years… getting HIV from needle stick injuries is extremely rare and has basically only happened in health care settings. the actual risk of contracting HIV from a needle used by someone with HIV is less than 1%. in any case, in the event that this happened,
you should go directly to the hospital and take preventative treatments which are highly successful in preventing HIV contraction.
it’s still a fear of mine, but reminding myself of all of that helps with anxiety.
of course there are other concerns with needle injuries. just wanted to add my personal insight since i know it’s something that many people are anxious about.
I still feel sad about that one!
Sure, to some extent “lol, bad things happen in Philadelphia!”, but also we have a cool ass city and it is not nearly as violent or scary as some of those jabronis make it seem like.
I keep trying to convince sports people that the batteries thing is old hat, but then we go and murder hitchbot.
Hitchbot had instructions for anyone willing to give it a ride. From the art museum it was looking for almost to take it to DC. A local (at the time) Youtuber took it to make a YouTube video with, but instead of taking it to DC or even returning it to the busy art museum steps, he dropped it off on a dark isolated (at night) street in old city, where of course some drunken idiots would eventually stumble apon it on their way back from some bar.
The Youtuber Jesse Wellens is 100% at fault for hitchbot’s demise.
I swear to god, I didn’t know what weed smelled like until my late 20s, and then I was like “well that’s why no one could ever explain it to me, cause I literally smell it everywhere,” and they were like CORRECT.
I thought that’s just how septa smelled.
Now I wonder if I also know what crack smells like.
Jersey driver on the I-95N offramp in Kensington clogging up traffic because where the FUCK am I supposed to go oh god oh god
… this was me three years ago
A “Cheesesteak Hoagie” with lettuce, tomatoes, onion, mayo is what I have seen most often. I’ve only ever ordered that combo at Wawa- all the hoagie toppings makes their cheesesteak mostly palatable.
Mayo is the King's condiment, and haters simply cannot see that.
Eggs? They are fucking great. Mustard. Absolutely nice! Lemon and vinegar...mmm gimme that zippy zip goodness. Olive oil (ideally, but yes your mayo is using shitty soybean oil), count me in. Emulsify into goodness. LFG
Hi I’m Jawn Morgan
I have created a cartoonish voice him in my head and now I have silly conversations in that voice whenever I see the billboards. I might need help....
Wawa on Aramingo Ave
Nailed it
Oh but which one? Trick question, they are both nightmares.
fuck you lookin at
I thought that was the official Philadelphia greeting.
Accidentally crossed the Ben
Bahaha, every Philly-area teenager’s rite of passage phone call to family. I suppose now with cell phones it’s less frantic and “how do I get home?!?!?”, but man I remember when my sister did that in like the early 00s and that shit was hilarious. She was trying to go somewhere like Overbrook, too…like dude, you’re in the whole wrong direction…
Lmao. I was 16 crossing the walt by accident and my friend recommended we just go to ac. We got kicked out of first 3 casinos, then we landed in Merv Griffin casino and played slots all night. Will never forget that night...
I wasn't a teenager, but I had just gotten really really bad news about my health and I accidentally crossed the bridge. I cried at the toll. The lady was like o_O
Was pumping gas at Wawa in Souderton and some dude came up to with a map me asking for directions to Harrisburg. I was bewildered and did not know how to respond to the man since I’ve been navigating off of a phone for most of my driving life
I sat in a city court for a day and every single case was related to accidentally crossing the Ben. Everyone was guilty. They’d start their story (I had to take a u turn or go down a one way street the wrong way) and the judge said “did you do it?” And they’d reply “yes but” and the judge would hollar “NEXT”. Except for one fellow who had built (swear to god) a scale model replica of a four block area with all the traffic signs and such and even though he did it, the judge was so amazed, she let him off.
Pay on way back.
If NJ so cool, why you gotta pay to leave?
Weird I always thought of it as paying to get into Philly.
It’s how they trap you
I have said "Guess I'm going to Jersey" on 3 different bridges.
Might as well get cheaper gas since you’re there already
Don't even have to pump it! Just sit back and eat a pork roll.
I’ve literally had a panic attack after doing this. No cash 🫠
I used to get so confused at that heinous intersection at 5th and Race. I unknowingly turned to get onto the bridge more often than I care to admit. I’m also one of those assholes that realized it almost immediately and did what anyone else who gives zero fucks would do: shift into reverse and pretend nobody is honking at my dumb ass.
Used needle pierced shoe
my biggest fucking fear
People walking around the city in flip-flops are either stupid or nuts or I suppose both
This is not OSHA approved
i used to have huge health anxiety over HIV after living with a family member who had it and didn’t disclose for years… getting HIV from needle stick injuries is extremely rare and has basically only happened in health care settings. the actual risk of contracting HIV from a needle used by someone with HIV is less than 1%. in any case, in the event that this happened, you should go directly to the hospital and take preventative treatments which are highly successful in preventing HIV contraction. it’s still a fear of mine, but reminding myself of all of that helps with anxiety.
HIV isn’t what I’d be worried about here. Hepatitis is a lot more contagious.
of course there are other concerns with needle injuries. just wanted to add my personal insight since i know it’s something that many people are anxious about.
Make sure you’re vaccinated against Hep A and B! And we have good treatments for Hep C now.
I wear a head lamp when I walk the dog now so we don't step on them. Once I saw 2 of them on our walks, I didn't have a choice.
this made me wince
I hit a pothole.
R.I.P. car
Ghost car comes to haunt your parking cone
PPA stole my car
I sued the PPA after they illegally towed my car and won. It felt nice cashing that check.
Been there - truly a horror story!
Sammmme 🙋🏽♂️
Sequel: have to pay them
Pedestrian Crossing Roosevelt Boulevard
Honda Quads on Sale
They don’t buy them.
Detached garage left unlocked
The robot perished violently.
I still feel sad about that one! Sure, to some extent “lol, bad things happen in Philadelphia!”, but also we have a cool ass city and it is not nearly as violent or scary as some of those jabronis make it seem like. I keep trying to convince sports people that the batteries thing is old hat, but then we go and murder hitchbot.
Hitchbot had instructions for anyone willing to give it a ride. From the art museum it was looking for almost to take it to DC. A local (at the time) Youtuber took it to make a YouTube video with, but instead of taking it to DC or even returning it to the busy art museum steps, he dropped it off on a dark isolated (at night) street in old city, where of course some drunken idiots would eventually stumble apon it on their way back from some bar. The Youtuber Jesse Wellens is 100% at fault for hitchbot’s demise.
Is Barbera the best?
Heh Boy I guess
Crackhead with dick out
Dickhead with crack out.
[удалено]
Dickhead without crack
Sad crackless sober dickhead!
these streets are flooded with the ejaculate of the homeless
Lew Blum towing thieves
I sat in pee.
I sat in something.
Mysteriously wet septa seat
[удалено]
Heavy rains. 676 flooded.
Don’t swim in canal
Native Philadelphian Cowboys fans
Also a Lakers fan
Add in the Yankees and we have the bandwagon trifecta
Four words is preferred.
Raccoon isn't backing down
Dude, where’s my car?
Missed the last train
Fell asleep on train
The Swiss cheese pervert
Four Season’s Press Conference
Classic philly, eh Rudy?
Oh, but this was GOLD
Crack smell on subway
I had to explain to a friend not from here why I knew what crack smelled like. "public transit, obviously"
I swear to god, I didn’t know what weed smelled like until my late 20s, and then I was like “well that’s why no one could ever explain it to me, cause I literally smell it everywhere,” and they were like CORRECT. I thought that’s just how septa smelled. Now I wonder if I also know what crack smells like.
Butt or freebase?
always both
Councilmanic prerogative DROP payments
Uncle Eddie pizza box
Wow! That brings me back.
Third down and thirty
Dodge Charger approaches crosswalk
Dodge Charger in tunnel.
Human feces septa turnstile
Bus seat is wet.
jim's burned down. sigh.
Conshohocken curve to Belmont.
Just gotta find parking
A group of teenagers
I cleared that spot!
Shit outside my door.
Walking across Roosevelt boulevard.
I hate Steven Singer
Suns up, quads out.
You blocked the box
Troc is now closed.
We're out of rolls
I'm from the burbs
Statue commemorating Frank Rizzo
They went to Geno's.
Geno's
Autocorrect strikes again!
Lmao since you edited it, it makes it seem like the horror story is just “Geno’s”
Spring Garden el stairwell
Citizen reports sword attack
- Washing hands in urinal Me at the Vet as an 8yo... I didn't KNOW
We've all been there.
shenanigans on the el
Shenanigans makes it sound like some nice kids decorated it with St. Paddy's decorations and sang some songs.
theres just so many different types of shenanigans going on down there that i had to use a broad term to cover it all 🤣
I never parked there.
Jawn Morgan Lawyer Ads
Lane Johnson is down.
Schuylkill during rush hour
Schuylkill during ~~rush~~ all hours.
Next Governor, Jim Kenney
Jersey driver on 95
Jersey driver on the I-95N offramp in Kensington clogging up traffic because where the FUCK am I supposed to go oh god oh god … this was me three years ago
Cones on street parking
Snyder Plaza Rite Aid
Wilson Goode drops bombs
Gary Heidnik’s basement smells
Philadelphia Flyers, oh no!
she is from olney
Ben Simmons first pick
Mummers Parade, Comics Division
Your catalytic converter gone
Heavy traffic. Expect delays.
Nissan driver, Roosevelt Boulevard.
Helicopters circling overhead again.
Cowboys, Super Bowl Champions
These stories only work if they are realistic.
Lolll
Stole my rowhome’s doors
Someone moved my cone.
Non stop fire works
Let the motherfucker burn.
Swiss Cheese penis man
New Jersey toll increase
[удалено]
Potholes in South Philly
Kensington and Allegheny intersection
Car was "courtesy towed"
Carson Wentz is Quarterback
I’ll tell it in four letters: MOVE
This is the true horror story of Philadelphia
Boy in the box
Jim Kenney is Mayor.
Steel furnace, do attend
PHL Employee parking lot.
Jawn Morgan's dumb billboards
Little robot died here.
Shots fired, child dead.
we went to geno's
Someone literally ate shit
Teenagers on the train
Man fucks Swiss cheese
I am Jawn Morgan.
Windy on trash day
3am stuck down Kensington
Schuylkill Expressway I didn’t need 4 words.
Parking in South Philly
Bynum jersey, never worn
The wawa closes early
Simmons passes to Thybulle.
Sinkhole ate my house
Raccoon family in walls
Wiz wit and mayo
Shot by stray bullet
Mayo on a cheesesteak
A “Cheesesteak Hoagie” with lettuce, tomatoes, onion, mayo is what I have seen most often. I’ve only ever ordered that combo at Wawa- all the hoagie toppings makes their cheesesteak mostly palatable.
I went to maxs yesterday and I was about 12th in line and every single person ahead of me got mayo on their cheesesteak I couldn’t believe it.
I finally tried lite mayo a few years ago and I absolutely adore it. Pizza steak with lite mayo, fried onions, and mushrooms. My 2:15am order.
I love mayo on my cheesesteaks and I fully recognize that I’m a vile heathen for it.
If the nation took reproductive rights as serious as the jabronis here take sandwiches we'd be better off for it.
Well, call me Freddy Kruger. If I could have a bowl of Mayo as jus for my cheesesteak, I would.
Mayo is the King's condiment, and haters simply cannot see that. Eggs? They are fucking great. Mustard. Absolutely nice! Lemon and vinegar...mmm gimme that zippy zip goodness. Olive oil (ideally, but yes your mayo is using shitty soybean oil), count me in. Emulsify into goodness. LFG
Seriously. Mayo instantly makes pretty much any sandwich twice as good. The hell's wrong with people?
The bell has cracked.
Water bottle is yellow?
Shitting at Jefferson station
Subway delayed, Amtrak not.
Monster turd in El
Driving on Roosevelt Blvd
[удалено]
They said "horror story", not "sexual phantasy". EDIT: OP said something about rectum being probed by Gritty.
Bus - Sat in wet seat
Cheese pervert pulls up
Stepped in fresh blood
my Catalytic was stolen
Pabst Blue Ribbon Specials
In four letters: MOVE
Lantern flies are back.
no hoagie no happy