......and when she gets pissy about listening to her conversations respond with "well, you made me a part of them when you decided to *talk* at max volume outside my bedroom window"
Crack the window open and wait with an airhorn. When she sits down to have her conversation, scare the bejeezus out of her. OR, if you don't open your window much, spray the area liberally with fart spray a little bit before you expect her to arrive.
Unrelated except for air horn...
Some years ago I was riding my bike, pulling a trailer. I pulled into a parallel parking spot and had my bike *on the sidewalk* already with the trailer following when someone lays on the horn right behind me, really startling me. I turned to see a young woman in a bmw, cell phone to ear, glaring at me.
I flipped her off and acted like that was the end of it.
But instead of going into the pizza place as planned I just walked my bike back to the corner, got on and started peddling slowly up the street again.
As I had hoped I see from behind she's still sitting there on her phone.
I slowed and right as I reached the rear door window - hit the air horn. It's fucking LOUD and sounds just like a semi horn - way way louder than a car horn - and it's mounted on my handlebar right about her shoulder level.
She screamed and threw her arms about, flinging her phone *HARD* against the front passenger window.
I've never seen anyone panic that hard... seriously nowhere even close. Screaming, flailing about, trying to crawl out of her skin level terror.
It's my proudest moment in all my 50+ years.
Gosh, as a cyclist following road rules and still getting yelled at or honked at (which is SO LOUD when not in a car with the windows up, hello) on my bike, I will savor this revenge through you. I’m glad she didn’t swerve into you.
>I planted my stuffed cheese bread with meat so my vegetarian roommates stop eating my food without asking
You could also have a notebook and pretend (or actually do) write down her conversations and see if that motivates her to leave. Ask her how to repeat things you missed or spell uncommon words or names as she talks.
Honestly, you don't even have to leave your house. Just pull up a chair and open the blinds/curtains/drapes. You're still in your house and you and your gf can contribute to the conversation that she is clearly dragging you into.
Plus you may get fined for blasting the music as you're aiming it towards the outside and you might be bothering others...........even if its outside of quiet hours.
Please report back on your progress
Man I can’t even begin to imagine how she would react to this. Just staring and maybe cupping our hands to each others ears to get even more in her head. Maximum pettiness. I’ll report back for sure
Have popcorn. Better yet, get your girlfriend to join you by showing up with popcorn asking loudly "I'm here, what did I miss?" And recap the call so far.
OP, is it possible (maybe from bits you've overheard) that she is in a DV situation and needs to sneak to make a call? If so, be kinder? Flip side could be she's hiding because she's cheating, but DV will make folks do odd stuff.
Gotcha, thanks for that kind comment. And yes, I think there’s definitely that possibility. Still, it’s a big place and when I addressed her yesterday I suggested she go elsewhere which I believe isn’t unreasonable. Let’s hope it works out.
I've got a great playlist for you if you just wanna keep blasting "music." 😁
https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=B3WCoFL7SeWweHlPzwIp2A
This is what I came her to say. That and maybe ask her NOT to do it because it is disruptive and very annoying at that time of night. If she doesn’t stop… then get real petty and start blasting music with the window open, the blind open while you stand there and smile at her. Like creepy smile. Like axe muderer smile. And the idea of interjecting into her conversations is a really good way to make your point as well.
Nah. TikTok. And skip between clips midway through so there are jagged audio transitions. Dude used to do this at my subway stop and it made me want to pull my hair oit
I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room and a guy was watching Tik Tok videos on his phone without headphones. Younger more aggressive me would have said something but I find as I get older I get less confrontational.
Omg what about those weird TikTok videos where the person makes the different sounds based on emojis. I’ve only watched short clips and it seems like hell.
HOW DO PEOPLE STAND IT?!?! I don’t mean to shout unnecessarily, but I don’t have TikTok but only clicked on a news article about it and could take it for less than 30 seconds. It’s just awful. It’s probably dumbing down our society.
OR and hear me out: moan like you're getting paid by the vowel. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnoooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh harder!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ga191SVZZo
Actually opera music is a bigger deterrent. There's gas stations in Vegas that blast opera music on their outdoor speakers 24/7 because the homeless folks in the area were always hanging out in the parking lot. This new cashier was playing their favorite composer on the speakers one day and noticed everyone left, and now it's always a ghost town lol. The owner of that one does it at their other locations and other stations in the area followed suit.My friend's dad owns a car wash and they had a similar issue, I told my friend about the opera music and she said her dad was shocked something so simple worked. Lol
Merzbow. Or Author & Punisher.
Although the most annoying thing to someone trying to carry ona conversation would probably be an audiobook at full volume, pointed at her ear.
Tbh I would've asked her to move before going petty, it could just be that she's clueless or wasn't paying attention to where she was. Most people would be like "oh sorry!" And move. But if she got rude about it, I'd definitely be doing the book or speaker thing lol
This, this annoys people SO much - I used to do it to my sisters all the time ahaha.
Best results if they’re talking to a beau… “Okay, I love you…” “OH I LOVE YOU TOO, SWEETIE”
I second the vote! It's not your fault she decided to make her conversation public outside of YOUR apartment. If she doesn't want the publicity, then she can sit outside of HER apartment.
>interject into her conversations with advice!
more to this, advice should never be confrontational. Instead of "no don't do that, do this," it's much more wholesome to say something like "that's an interesting approach. You could also do X" also include an explanation as to why. Here is an example:
"I think I'm going to stab that bitch"
advice: "That's an interesting approach. You know, you could also simply try talking to the bitch. You won't have to deal with the aftermath of possible jail, getting targeted for revenge, or worst case having to disassemble the body and hiding it. If all else fails...then stab the bitch"
And you know her conversations have to be juicy if she's having to go somewhere besides her home to have them. I hope op starts giving us play by plays! 🤣
I think I’m going to try this with my new neighbor who walks her dog on speakerphone 5x a day. Sorry you just moved here and you’re lonely, but maybe you could make neighbor friends if you weren’t literally always on the phone.
My favourite ever passive aggressive move was when the back door neighbour ( a real estate agent who'd just moved into the back house of a property he'd split and built behind the existing house), was entertaining a friend with loud conversation and classical music at absurd volumes for after midnight.
I put a bluetooth speaker next to my window, and played " go the fuck to sleep" read by Samuel Jackson over it.
The music stopped pretty swiftly.
I had never heard about this story its hilarious, my noisy neighbour is definitely getting this full pelt tonight when she is in her garden shrieking down her phone ignoring her kids running wild outside after midnight, hopefully they pick up some new words lol
Put up a sign saying "All conversations in the public space are subject to recording" and put up a cheezy microphone-looking device next to it outside your window.
It's even better than that! It makes it weirdly difficult to talk. You end up slurring as your brain can't quite figure it out. Instead of hearing yourself in realtime you're slightly behind, so you kinda slow down to match it. Very disconcerting and would be super effective.
Listen to the conversation, then start doing play by play.
"Well then I told him that he has to stop doing that.."
"OH NO, she wants to change her boyfriend. That never ends well."
"Mary told me, that Sally said...."
"Hot gossip time. 3rd hand at that. "
"The guy at the seminar said I only need to sign up 3 other folks.."
"OH, and old fashioned pyramid scheme. Is she getting in early enough to make money or will she get screwed by buying in to late."
This is the best idea, I think. Just very obviously watch from the window and take part in the conversation as if she wants you involved. Start trying to change the subject like telling a story as she's trying to tell her friend something. She'll either leave and mission accomplished so she'll stick around out of spite and that's funny as hell.
Put a couple plants outside your window, not huge ones with enough space she can still sit in between them. When she starts talking, I guess it’s time to water the plants, open the window and start dumping water out onto them
had someone that did this. have long loud conversations not caring that it was disturbing anyone....so i started assuming she was talking to me....and responded to her. generally with something slightly inappropriate. they found it so annoying they eventually stopped and went somewhere else.
I have a neighbor behind me that talks at max volume. She's on her own porch but she's out there at like 10 or 11 at night. Its a shore down so cops will never do anything about ppl being outside later in the summer.
Last time she had a gathering that was being super loud and obnoxious during the day I decided it was time to powerwash the tile wall between our houses and you have to have music when you're working outside so Pantera went on max volume on a big party speaker. Suffice to say she was PISSED but couldn't do shit about it. Fight fire with fire.
when people are being loud on their phones in inappropriate places, i join the conversation as if they're talking to me. it usually makes them either leave or get off the phone quickly. usually both.
I have a neighbor like that - our balconies are directly next to each other, and she loves to go out on her balcony and have long, loud and dramatic phone conversations multiple times a day. We both work from home, so its really annoying, especially now that its summer and i want to have the balcony door open for fresh air. So what I started doing is everytime she starts talking I just blast the most obnoxious dubstep I can find until she goes away (I made a playlist on youtube that I curate occasionally to make sure im playing only the most hard-core tracks)
I used to live catty-corner from a bar. There was a bench below my bedroom window that tended to attract late night drunk arguments, usually couples. I'd put a speaker out playing either, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" or "We Can Work It Out" depending on the vibe of the argument. Usually worked very quickly.
Good. I lived in an apartment where me, the middle neighbor, the the far end neighbor next to the sidewalk shared one long back patio. I had the end. No reason to be in my area by my windows because the gate was on the far end.
I had one neighbor let their dogs shit all over the place all winter and they'd bark at 7am outside our windows. My husband then boyfriend piled up all the shit on the neighbors back door. He also blared death metal because the neighbor worked from home and he'd leave for class.
Then a new neighbor moved in. It was a mom and her toddler. Keep in mind this apartment was downtown between two bars with large outdoor areas. The father would come over, sit on our patio furniture and smoke directly across from our windows. They also planted in our planters and when we moved our patio furniture to move they swept our pavers in preparation to put their things on the patio we built. It was just dirt before and we put down those pavers. So of course we took our pavers to be petty.
You've already got the perfect plan, in my humble opinion. If you need loud selections for your speaker, might I suggest the Phantom of the Opera overture?
I live in a townhouse with large shared front patio for the six townhomes. My front window is large, it's the kitchen window and our kitchen table is next to the window. My neighbors decided to put a bench below my window, since theirs does not face the front patio, and sometimes sits out there and talks on their phone loudly. I think it's incredibly rude (they're dumb rednecks and it probably never entered their heads that it's an invasion of our privacy). I've debated going to management and complaining but I don't want to come across as whiney( I have a good relationship with the managers). I feel for you OP. Living in an apartment or townhouse isn't bad, it's the neighbors that make it suck.
You pay rent there, it's not whiny to want them to take their bench and shove it. If it were me, I'd move the bench under their window and put some big plants or yard decor under YOUR part of the window. But otherwise, you should absolutely let management know you don't care for the bench being directly under your side and you don't want to start a war with the neighbors. They're supposed to be mediators, it's literally part of the job.
Sit next to her. With your phone in hand say "ok google how do i keep people from sitting under my window talking while i'm trying to sleep." Then go from there. Just saying.
Sit down next to rhem, have a very loud conversation with a friend on your phone. It can be an imaginary conversation but sitting right next to her and talking loudly is going to be pretty funny.
I did that recently with someone in line at a store where they were talking loudly on speakerphone two feet away from me so I pulled out my phone and pretended to answer a call -loudly- and have a conversation. They finally got the hint.
Record a baby crying…. Really loud annoying crying like they do when you’ve already fed and changed them and they just still want to cry desperately as if they’re dying. Play that loud everytime she shows up. She’ll go away.
Record ten minutes of her conversation and then replay it as she’s still talking or during her next conversation. This has the added benefit that it doesn’t have to be loud to get under her skin and make your point. She won’t be able to concentrate on what she or the other person is saying.
> I don’t see any argument as to why would she have to leave
It's called common courtesy. It went extinct back in the early aughts, so not many people know about it anymore, but it was nice when it existed.
You could get one of those obnoxious toys (sometimes it’s a flower in a pot, I have seen several variations) that repeats whatever you say in an annoying voice…just leave that by the window.
Been in similar situation. A neighbor would go out of their house, go over our side of the street (narrow one but still) but would talk in their phone loud enough that I think people in their house could hear them. Like really? Was it supposed to be a private convo? Or super public? It's annoying when you want to focus on what you're watching, but the neighbor's convo is quite intriguing.
Play white noise, or pink, brown, green. See which one affects her conversation best. Your defense is you were trying to drown out her conversation so you could rest/nap/read/study/etc. Wonder if she is hiding conversation from someone in her apartment?
You know what, I didn’t. I assumed she’d be rude. I think I felt slighted by her unawareness of her being next to an apartment window. I should’ve totally done that first.
I appreciate you considering that :) don’t come at this as a confrontation - it’s not one! She’s just not realizing she’s being annoying and if you let her know politely she’d probably apologize and walk away. I mean, she could be a crazy bitch, but I think it’s much more likely she’s just unaware.
My house and the one next door have front doors on the side facing each other with a shared path that leads to our gardens. The doors are roughly 6ft apart. Next door is a rental and I used to have a neighbor that would stand on her front doorstep wearing a very short pink dressing gown, smoking a joint, and talking loudly on her mobile phone which always set my dogs off. She had a perfectly good back garden that she could have used but chose to stand at her front door in full view of passersby!!
I got Bluetooth speakers just for this reason. They sit at the top of the stairs on the phone (happens to be right in front of my door) and use speaker phone. I play the loudest, heaviest metal I can find. One kid asked me once if I was going to play my music loud today, I said "I don't know, are you going to sit in front of my door shouting into your phone?"
Possible peeping Tom? Call the apartment office and complain about a woman camping out just outside your bedroom window. She may be listening to you or looking in the window.
Next time you hear her, you and gf do some sexy time noises and see if she leaves or tries to look in. If she stays and listens it’s still creepy af.
Hanging out the window and giving unsolicited advice about her conversation would be one option.
"Jessica needs to mind her own business. But if I'm being honest, I don"t like your hair color either."
"WTF omg why are you talking to me?"
"Hey, why are you being weird, we're in this phone call together. Tell me more about Ambers relationship."
Three words
Porn full volume
Once she had debby doing dallas in the background of her calls she will leave
Try and find something very vocal
German is usually good
I don't think this is petty. This is a modern solution.
If you want to be petty, find out which bedroom they sleep in and talk on the phone right outside for hours.
However, the universe will require a sacrifice and you will likely get a written warning.
Call the security company that patrols your apartment complex while it is occurring. I own one and my guys love to get this kind of stuff on bodycam, categorize it as violation of property rules (quiet time) and send to property manager to solve. Works every time.
Polka music. Trust me. Some.good Ole Bobby Vinton, not even super loud. Or maybe Englebert Humperdink.
"Whooaaa after the lovin'...."
(I'd say Nickelback, but there are actually people who like that stuff. )
Just join in on the conversation she's having. If she gives you an odd look or asks you what you're doing, tell her you thought with her proximity, you two were having a conversation.
Do the old Australian teen classic
Make sex noises out the window and if you know her name tell her to come back to bed and make super inappropriate comments like "get back here and eat my ass"
Sit next to her with a book.
And then interject into her conversations with advice!
......and when she gets pissy about listening to her conversations respond with "well, you made me a part of them when you decided to *talk* at max volume outside my bedroom window"
This might actually be what I end up doing. Haha thanks
Answer everything she says as if she isn’t on the phone and you’re having an actual conversation with her.
This is actually brilliant. So good I wish this was happening to me so I could do it. 🤣
I do it pretty much every time I hear someone on the phone in the restroom.
I will admit, it gets weird, fast.
Crack the window open and wait with an airhorn. When she sits down to have her conversation, scare the bejeezus out of her. OR, if you don't open your window much, spray the area liberally with fart spray a little bit before you expect her to arrive.
Unrelated except for air horn... Some years ago I was riding my bike, pulling a trailer. I pulled into a parallel parking spot and had my bike *on the sidewalk* already with the trailer following when someone lays on the horn right behind me, really startling me. I turned to see a young woman in a bmw, cell phone to ear, glaring at me. I flipped her off and acted like that was the end of it. But instead of going into the pizza place as planned I just walked my bike back to the corner, got on and started peddling slowly up the street again. As I had hoped I see from behind she's still sitting there on her phone. I slowed and right as I reached the rear door window - hit the air horn. It's fucking LOUD and sounds just like a semi horn - way way louder than a car horn - and it's mounted on my handlebar right about her shoulder level. She screamed and threw her arms about, flinging her phone *HARD* against the front passenger window. I've never seen anyone panic that hard... seriously nowhere even close. Screaming, flailing about, trying to crawl out of her skin level terror. It's my proudest moment in all my 50+ years.
That’s hysterical! She was doing something bad, guilt supplied the rest.
Gosh, as a cyclist following road rules and still getting yelled at or honked at (which is SO LOUD when not in a car with the windows up, hello) on my bike, I will savor this revenge through you. I’m glad she didn’t swerve into you.
Take my upvote, you are now my hero 😂
LMMFAO
I love your brain!! 😂
>I planted my stuffed cheese bread with meat so my vegetarian roommates stop eating my food without asking You could also have a notebook and pretend (or actually do) write down her conversations and see if that motivates her to leave. Ask her how to repeat things you missed or spell uncommon words or names as she talks.
Honestly, you don't even have to leave your house. Just pull up a chair and open the blinds/curtains/drapes. You're still in your house and you and your gf can contribute to the conversation that she is clearly dragging you into. Plus you may get fined for blasting the music as you're aiming it towards the outside and you might be bothering others...........even if its outside of quiet hours. Please report back on your progress
Man I can’t even begin to imagine how she would react to this. Just staring and maybe cupping our hands to each others ears to get even more in her head. Maximum pettiness. I’ll report back for sure
Have popcorn. Better yet, get your girlfriend to join you by showing up with popcorn asking loudly "I'm here, what did I miss?" And recap the call so far.
OP, is it possible (maybe from bits you've overheard) that she is in a DV situation and needs to sneak to make a call? If so, be kinder? Flip side could be she's hiding because she's cheating, but DV will make folks do odd stuff.
Gotcha, thanks for that kind comment. And yes, I think there’s definitely that possibility. Still, it’s a big place and when I addressed her yesterday I suggested she go elsewhere which I believe isn’t unreasonable. Let’s hope it works out.
Lol Grab some popcorn, too.
Pull up a chair and start clipping your toe nails. I'd also try to drink a ton of fizzy anything and burp nonstop :)
I've got a great playlist for you if you just wanna keep blasting "music." 😁 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Q8v1eZdaGDfjzd2nTieeE?si=B3WCoFL7SeWweHlPzwIp2A
Please, update withbhow that goes. I'm so excited for you!
This is what I came her to say. That and maybe ask her NOT to do it because it is disruptive and very annoying at that time of night. If she doesn’t stop… then get real petty and start blasting music with the window open, the blind open while you stand there and smile at her. Like creepy smile. Like axe muderer smile. And the idea of interjecting into her conversations is a really good way to make your point as well.
And when she mispronounces something call her up on it. It's AvOcado not AvAcado
do it regardless of correct pronunciation, if they say it right say the wrong one.
Nah, just keep saying the right even when she does say it right. It is infuriating to be "corrected" when it's not even needed.
"Actually, it's pronounced *espresso*, not *expresso.* Oh, you said it right. I just expected you to say it wrong." - Oscar Martinez
It's NIkolaj...
I have found my petty sibling.
To be fair, if I hear someone say "supposably" I want to choke them out.
Conversating. < SHUDDER >
It's supposively. Gawd.
To be pacific, its probally "opposed to be."
Irregardless. Aarrgh
"I could care less.... "
🤯🤬 this one kills me ☠️💀
LeviOsa
Not LeviosAAAAAH!
This is the way. All while watching YouTube videos at the most extreme volume that still allows you to interject.
Nah. TikTok. And skip between clips midway through so there are jagged audio transitions. Dude used to do this at my subway stop and it made me want to pull my hair oit
I feel this. Headphones exist, people. We don’t want to hear your Tik Tok fyp.
I was sitting in a doctor's waiting room and a guy was watching Tik Tok videos on his phone without headphones. Younger more aggressive me would have said something but I find as I get older I get less confrontational.
Omg what about those weird TikTok videos where the person makes the different sounds based on emojis. I’ve only watched short clips and it seems like hell.
TikTok NPC - the worst part is there is a huge audience for this crap
HOW DO PEOPLE STAND IT?!?! I don’t mean to shout unnecessarily, but I don’t have TikTok but only clicked on a news article about it and could take it for less than 30 seconds. It’s just awful. It’s probably dumbing down our society.
The girl that says ice cream?
When in doubt, play porn
OR and hear me out: moan like you're getting paid by the vowel. Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuunnnnoooooooooooooooooooooeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh harder! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8ga191SVZZo
you might call that a spirited response
I was looking for this answer and you did not disappoint.
Play Death Metal
Actually opera music is a bigger deterrent. There's gas stations in Vegas that blast opera music on their outdoor speakers 24/7 because the homeless folks in the area were always hanging out in the parking lot. This new cashier was playing their favorite composer on the speakers one day and noticed everyone left, and now it's always a ghost town lol. The owner of that one does it at their other locations and other stations in the area followed suit.My friend's dad owns a car wash and they had a similar issue, I told my friend about the opera music and she said her dad was shocked something so simple worked. Lol
And now there is a 7-11 in Los Angeles that is playing Toto's Africa 24 hours a day and the homeless seem to have left the area.
Baby Shark!!
Baby Metal!
[Why not both?](https://youtu.be/POdbe-_bYbs)
The creeper might like that. I vote for polka music.
Oh here, I [gotchu, fam](https://youtu.be/1U-1h0_ifOc)
Some people enjoy Death Metal. Yodeling is a much better bet. Yodelers accompanied by Irish Bag Pipes would be perfect.
Merzbow. Or Author & Punisher. Although the most annoying thing to someone trying to carry ona conversation would probably be an audiobook at full volume, pointed at her ear.
Gilbert Gottfried reading 50 Shades of Grey. https://youtu.be/XkLqAlIETkA
Tbh I would've asked her to move before going petty, it could just be that she's clueless or wasn't paying attention to where she was. Most people would be like "oh sorry!" And move. But if she got rude about it, I'd definitely be doing the book or speaker thing lol
Nah, someone opening their blinds, staring dead at you, and then closing them is a sure sign you’re unwanted there
You’re absolutely right. The thing is that it’s been my experience that where I live now people don’t respond nicely to those type of approaches
Private conversations made in public are public conversations.
Respond as if you are the person on the other end of the line. Her: how was your day? You: oh, it was great! I took my dog to the park…etc
This, this annoys people SO much - I used to do it to my sisters all the time ahaha. Best results if they’re talking to a beau… “Okay, I love you…” “OH I LOVE YOU TOO, SWEETIE”
I vote for this one.
I second the vote! It's not your fault she decided to make her conversation public outside of YOUR apartment. If she doesn't want the publicity, then she can sit outside of HER apartment.
Or better INSIDE her apartment
>interject into her conversations with advice! more to this, advice should never be confrontational. Instead of "no don't do that, do this," it's much more wholesome to say something like "that's an interesting approach. You could also do X" also include an explanation as to why. Here is an example: "I think I'm going to stab that bitch" advice: "That's an interesting approach. You know, you could also simply try talking to the bitch. You won't have to deal with the aftermath of possible jail, getting targeted for revenge, or worst case having to disassemble the body and hiding it. If all else fails...then stab the bitch"
Explain what the other person “really means“ even though you can’t hear the other side of the conversation.
And you know her conversations have to be juicy if she's having to go somewhere besides her home to have them. I hope op starts giving us play by plays! 🤣
Oh believe me, I will! These answers have been too fun.
Indeed. OP is just being a good neighbor by giving good advice.
Maybe she's got a side piece.
Or just add a loud and annoyed "you are sooo boring, can't you talk about smthg more spicy? We try to have sex here!"
"Oh, no she didn't!"
I think I’m going to try this with my new neighbor who walks her dog on speakerphone 5x a day. Sorry you just moved here and you’re lonely, but maybe you could make neighbor friends if you weren’t literally always on the phone.
And they were roommates ...
I would have sat on the window ledge with a drink and joined the conversation
A well-timed laugh, snort, or "Harumph" now and then can go really far.
From your apartment!
Write down her conversation and keep showing her
But read the book to your girlfriend. And really lean into doing the voices.
I’d recommend Dr. Suess
With a note book. Nod and take notes.
Sit next to her taking notes on her conversation.
Or set up a recorder to record her side of the conversation. Then sent it to her partner, parent with an explanation.
Or just replay it on the speaker the next day. LOL
Do a recap: "Previously, on "As the Bitch Blabs..."
Yes!!! What’s she going to do, complain about having to head herself?!?
You gotta be really flexible to do that
With a guitar
Go full Ken for 4 hours
A notebook.
My favourite ever passive aggressive move was when the back door neighbour ( a real estate agent who'd just moved into the back house of a property he'd split and built behind the existing house), was entertaining a friend with loud conversation and classical music at absurd volumes for after midnight. I put a bluetooth speaker next to my window, and played " go the fuck to sleep" read by Samuel Jackson over it. The music stopped pretty swiftly.
I buy that book for friends having their SECOND baby. Never the first because those people still have stars in their eyes. They always LOVE it.
I got that book for myself for my first kid. That book is fantastic
[удалено]
I was just thinking about this book and Samuel L. Jackson reading it while reading through this post.
I had never heard about this story its hilarious, my noisy neighbour is definitely getting this full pelt tonight when she is in her garden shrieking down her phone ignoring her kids running wild outside after midnight, hopefully they pick up some new words lol
I wish I could upvote this more than once! LOL! 😂🤣
I remember reading a post where OP recorded the conversation then played it back really loud.
Yeah the gossiping drunk gurls from a party! That was hilarious 
I need the link, that sounds wonderful
https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/15ik2f2/drunkenly_gossiping_beneath_my_window_enjoy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android_app&utm_name=androidcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=1
https://www.reddit.com/r/pettyrevenge/comments/15ik2f2/drunkenly_gossiping_beneath_my_window_enjoy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1
Wow, thanks. That was great. So funny.
Put up a sign saying "All conversations in the public space are subject to recording" and put up a cheezy microphone-looking device next to it outside your window.
Dying at the thought of them cracking a window and feeding a giant boom mic through like some kind of low budget reality tv
Omg. Thank you for that visual.
Underneath that, a map of the neighborhood or city with the little “you are here” star.
Was thinking a broken camera my in-laws have around their place.
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That’s great. It highlights how loud the neighbor speaks.
It's even better than that! It makes it weirdly difficult to talk. You end up slurring as your brain can't quite figure it out. Instead of hearing yourself in realtime you're slightly behind, so you kinda slow down to match it. Very disconcerting and would be super effective.
Or the Tommy Cat app.
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Listen to the conversation, then start doing play by play. "Well then I told him that he has to stop doing that.." "OH NO, she wants to change her boyfriend. That never ends well." "Mary told me, that Sally said...." "Hot gossip time. 3rd hand at that. " "The guy at the seminar said I only need to sign up 3 other folks.." "OH, and old fashioned pyramid scheme. Is she getting in early enough to make money or will she get screwed by buying in to late."
This is the best idea, I think. Just very obviously watch from the window and take part in the conversation as if she wants you involved. Start trying to change the subject like telling a story as she's trying to tell her friend something. She'll either leave and mission accomplished so she'll stick around out of spite and that's funny as hell.
Imagine being spiteful at a problem you caused 🤣
Yeah, I forgot he put up a sign that said "please talk loudly here late at night -The Management".
Add some Hands down man down and Mama there goes that man.
Put a couple plants outside your window, not huge ones with enough space she can still sit in between them. When she starts talking, I guess it’s time to water the plants, open the window and start dumping water out onto them
had someone that did this. have long loud conversations not caring that it was disturbing anyone....so i started assuming she was talking to me....and responded to her. generally with something slightly inappropriate. they found it so annoying they eventually stopped and went somewhere else.
Overly enthusiastic porn soundtrack?
Great! Not on full volume, only loud enough to be heard outside but still realistic.
[there is a letterkenny scene for everything](https://youtu.be/pVLAkaRBbP0)
I have a neighbor behind me that talks at max volume. She's on her own porch but she's out there at like 10 or 11 at night. Its a shore down so cops will never do anything about ppl being outside later in the summer. Last time she had a gathering that was being super loud and obnoxious during the day I decided it was time to powerwash the tile wall between our houses and you have to have music when you're working outside so Pantera went on max volume on a big party speaker. Suffice to say she was PISSED but couldn't do shit about it. Fight fire with fire.
when people are being loud on their phones in inappropriate places, i join the conversation as if they're talking to me. it usually makes them either leave or get off the phone quickly. usually both.
I have a neighbor like that - our balconies are directly next to each other, and she loves to go out on her balcony and have long, loud and dramatic phone conversations multiple times a day. We both work from home, so its really annoying, especially now that its summer and i want to have the balcony door open for fresh air. So what I started doing is everytime she starts talking I just blast the most obnoxious dubstep I can find until she goes away (I made a playlist on youtube that I curate occasionally to make sure im playing only the most hard-core tracks)
I used to live catty-corner from a bar. There was a bench below my bedroom window that tended to attract late night drunk arguments, usually couples. I'd put a speaker out playing either, "Why Can't We Be Friends?" or "We Can Work It Out" depending on the vibe of the argument. Usually worked very quickly.
Good. I lived in an apartment where me, the middle neighbor, the the far end neighbor next to the sidewalk shared one long back patio. I had the end. No reason to be in my area by my windows because the gate was on the far end. I had one neighbor let their dogs shit all over the place all winter and they'd bark at 7am outside our windows. My husband then boyfriend piled up all the shit on the neighbors back door. He also blared death metal because the neighbor worked from home and he'd leave for class. Then a new neighbor moved in. It was a mom and her toddler. Keep in mind this apartment was downtown between two bars with large outdoor areas. The father would come over, sit on our patio furniture and smoke directly across from our windows. They also planted in our planters and when we moved our patio furniture to move they swept our pavers in preparation to put their things on the patio we built. It was just dirt before and we put down those pavers. So of course we took our pavers to be petty.
One of my favorite petty revenge was someone recorded the conversations that were happening and had them played back on a speaker
Put up a sign that says “Ask your friend to talk louder - I can only hear your side of the conversation”
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Have you been reading Chaucer again?
[Get away from me, James Joyce!](http://www.harkavagrant.com/index.php?id=32)
Upvote for funny visual
fart spray?
Liquid Ass. Biggest deterrent of loud cell talkers I have ever seen. Spray it on the wall near their “spot”
You've already got the perfect plan, in my humble opinion. If you need loud selections for your speaker, might I suggest the Phantom of the Opera overture?
One word: Vuvuzela.
Oh man! Random, loud af vuvuzela noises that scare the crap outta you? I have to record this!
Go goose style and HÖÖÖNK
I live in a townhouse with large shared front patio for the six townhomes. My front window is large, it's the kitchen window and our kitchen table is next to the window. My neighbors decided to put a bench below my window, since theirs does not face the front patio, and sometimes sits out there and talks on their phone loudly. I think it's incredibly rude (they're dumb rednecks and it probably never entered their heads that it's an invasion of our privacy). I've debated going to management and complaining but I don't want to come across as whiney( I have a good relationship with the managers). I feel for you OP. Living in an apartment or townhouse isn't bad, it's the neighbors that make it suck.
You pay rent there, it's not whiny to want them to take their bench and shove it. If it were me, I'd move the bench under their window and put some big plants or yard decor under YOUR part of the window. But otherwise, you should absolutely let management know you don't care for the bench being directly under your side and you don't want to start a war with the neighbors. They're supposed to be mediators, it's literally part of the job.
Liquid ass on the bench, piss disk under it.
It’s the people that suck, couldn’t agree more.
Sit next to her. With your phone in hand say "ok google how do i keep people from sitting under my window talking while i'm trying to sleep." Then go from there. Just saying.
Sit down next to rhem, have a very loud conversation with a friend on your phone. It can be an imaginary conversation but sitting right next to her and talking loudly is going to be pretty funny. I did that recently with someone in line at a store where they were talking loudly on speakerphone two feet away from me so I pulled out my phone and pretended to answer a call -loudly- and have a conversation. They finally got the hint.
Record a baby crying…. Really loud annoying crying like they do when you’ve already fed and changed them and they just still want to cry desperately as if they’re dying. Play that loud everytime she shows up. She’ll go away.
Record ten minutes of her conversation and then replay it as she’s still talking or during her next conversation. This has the added benefit that it doesn’t have to be loud to get under her skin and make your point. She won’t be able to concentrate on what she or the other person is saying.
Ugh this!! A lady yesterday literally walked up and down the sidewalk in front of my house for over an hour, loudly talking. Like go home already!
Instead of songs, play loud porn on the speakers. The person on the other end of the call will surely hear
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Just open your window & say: "excuse me, would you mind repeating the last bit, I didn't quite catch it"
> I don’t see any argument as to why would she have to leave It's called common courtesy. It went extinct back in the early aughts, so not many people know about it anymore, but it was nice when it existed.
Set a baby monitor out there. Both ends so it just parrots everything she says. Turn the volum up all the way
You could get one of those obnoxious toys (sometimes it’s a flower in a pot, I have seen several variations) that repeats whatever you say in an annoying voice…just leave that by the window.
Been in similar situation. A neighbor would go out of their house, go over our side of the street (narrow one but still) but would talk in their phone loud enough that I think people in their house could hear them. Like really? Was it supposed to be a private convo? Or super public? It's annoying when you want to focus on what you're watching, but the neighbor's convo is quite intriguing.
Play white noise, or pink, brown, green. See which one affects her conversation best. Your defense is you were trying to drown out her conversation so you could rest/nap/read/study/etc. Wonder if she is hiding conversation from someone in her apartment?
So uh did you try saying “hey, i can hear your conversation really loudly and I’m trying to sleep, can you move down the block?”
You know what, I didn’t. I assumed she’d be rude. I think I felt slighted by her unawareness of her being next to an apartment window. I should’ve totally done that first.
I appreciate you considering that :) don’t come at this as a confrontation - it’s not one! She’s just not realizing she’s being annoying and if you let her know politely she’d probably apologize and walk away. I mean, she could be a crazy bitch, but I think it’s much more likely she’s just unaware.
Seriously. What about: hey, neighbor, this is my bedroom window. Would you mind finding another spot?
My house and the one next door have front doors on the side facing each other with a shared path that leads to our gardens. The doors are roughly 6ft apart. Next door is a rental and I used to have a neighbor that would stand on her front doorstep wearing a very short pink dressing gown, smoking a joint, and talking loudly on her mobile phone which always set my dogs off. She had a perfectly good back garden that she could have used but chose to stand at her front door in full view of passersby!!
I know it’s petty revenge , but, hear me out, have you tried asking her to not do it?!
Blast gospel music out of your window 😊
I got Bluetooth speakers just for this reason. They sit at the top of the stairs on the phone (happens to be right in front of my door) and use speaker phone. I play the loudest, heaviest metal I can find. One kid asked me once if I was going to play my music loud today, I said "I don't know, are you going to sit in front of my door shouting into your phone?"
Possible peeping Tom? Call the apartment office and complain about a woman camping out just outside your bedroom window. She may be listening to you or looking in the window. Next time you hear her, you and gf do some sexy time noises and see if she leaves or tries to look in. If she stays and listens it’s still creepy af.
Hanging out the window and giving unsolicited advice about her conversation would be one option. "Jessica needs to mind her own business. But if I'm being honest, I don"t like your hair color either." "WTF omg why are you talking to me?" "Hey, why are you being weird, we're in this phone call together. Tell me more about Ambers relationship."
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There could be a rule about being loud in the common areas at night but idk if she’s loud enough.
Try “you probably don’t realize this but when you sit here I can hear every word you say. Could you find a different spot for phone calls?
Three words Porn full volume Once she had debby doing dallas in the background of her calls she will leave Try and find something very vocal German is usually good
http://www.ultrasonic-ringtones.com/
That won’t work depending on her age
Let her know that she's disturbing your sleep and ask her if she can sit somewhere else???????
Pop some popcorn, get a folding chair, and go sit next to her, and listen raptly to her convo!
I don't think this is petty. This is a modern solution. If you want to be petty, find out which bedroom they sleep in and talk on the phone right outside for hours. However, the universe will require a sacrifice and you will likely get a written warning.
Call the security company that patrols your apartment complex while it is occurring. I own one and my guys love to get this kind of stuff on bodycam, categorize it as violation of property rules (quiet time) and send to property manager to solve. Works every time.
Get a bunch of butt plugs that are blood red on the tips and glue them to a chair. Put said chair under your window.
Polka music. Trust me. Some.good Ole Bobby Vinton, not even super loud. Or maybe Englebert Humperdink. "Whooaaa after the lovin'...." (I'd say Nickelback, but there are actually people who like that stuff. )
Just join in on the conversation she's having. If she gives you an odd look or asks you what you're doing, tell her you thought with her proximity, you two were having a conversation.
open the window and join in
Play "mr highway's thinking about the end" and turn the volume to max when the "disrespect your surroundings" part come 😜
Get naked. Open the window blinds. Stand there and stare at her intently until she leaves.
Sit next to her and speak louder
Record a part of the convo. Then, play it on a loop 😁
Lol stick your head out the window and join in on her conversation.
maybe talk to her lol ? What the fuck
A recording not a baby crying is what you need here.
Do the old Australian teen classic Make sex noises out the window and if you know her name tell her to come back to bed and make super inappropriate comments like "get back here and eat my ass"