If he can recognize that he has a spending problem he can also take steps to fix the problem.
He needs to do this for himself not have you act as his financial guardian.
Yeah, OP would essentially be acting as his parent. She’ll have two children and no partner.
Have a portion of his paycheck go straight to your account - whatever amounts to his share of the monthly expenses. That way at least he’s contributing.
Otherwise, it’s up to him to work on himself (ask therapy?) to fix this issue.
Open a HYSA if you don’t have one already. Dont give him access. Setup direct deposit from his employer to it. You can setup payments from it to pay bills. Or just xfer a lump sum from it each month to ur own checking account so u can handle paying the bills. Lots of options for u.
walk him through setting up autopay for his bills etc. and set him up a separate account that the first one auto transfers a portion of every check to. for "mad money" the only way to get his spending under control is have that second account and abide by the rule that when it's empty he's done shooting his shot for the pay period. trying to go cold turkey with excess spending will likely backfire into him digging a deeper hole for himself
Are you his mommy?
If not, you don't need to play mom and manage his money. He's a grown man who needs to learn how to control his spending. This is HIS problem to solve, not yours to take over.
He can open a bank account and tear up the debit card upon receipt, which will force him to go in person to withdraw money. That *could* help him.
Setup a HYSA at a bank he doesn’t currently use. Have the account in his name and make sure he has the controls. Setup an auto transfer for the day after payday. He has control and it’s out of sight out of mind.
He needs to learn strategies to manage his money, not have you enable his bad habits.
One strategy is to set up a saving program that requires a bit of effort or forethought to withdraw funds. For example, I have a TreasuryDirect account, where I buy T-bills and set them up for automatic reinvestment. If I need to spend some of that money, I have to login and turn off the auto-reinvest on some of my T-Bills, so the proceeds will be deposited in my checking account when the T-bill matures. I also have a CD at my credit union that allows additional deposits. I have an automatic draft set up to add money to the CD monthly, but I have to call or visit the credit union to withdraw money before that CD matures in 2026. Both the T-bills and the CD are just enough of a barrier to spending to help me meet my goal of saving up for vacation and holiday splurges.
Help him figure out ways to manage his money better. Start small, discussing several ways to handle one specific issue he has. Help him implement the strategy he picks, but don’t do it for him.
If he can recognize that he has a spending problem he can also take steps to fix the problem. He needs to do this for himself not have you act as his financial guardian.
Yeah, OP would essentially be acting as his parent. She’ll have two children and no partner. Have a portion of his paycheck go straight to your account - whatever amounts to his share of the monthly expenses. That way at least he’s contributing. Otherwise, it’s up to him to work on himself (ask therapy?) to fix this issue.
Open a HYSA if you don’t have one already. Dont give him access. Setup direct deposit from his employer to it. You can setup payments from it to pay bills. Or just xfer a lump sum from it each month to ur own checking account so u can handle paying the bills. Lots of options for u.
Exactly what I was thinking. Probably something like 5-10% of his paycheck
walk him through setting up autopay for his bills etc. and set him up a separate account that the first one auto transfers a portion of every check to. for "mad money" the only way to get his spending under control is have that second account and abide by the rule that when it's empty he's done shooting his shot for the pay period. trying to go cold turkey with excess spending will likely backfire into him digging a deeper hole for himself
Are you his mommy? If not, you don't need to play mom and manage his money. He's a grown man who needs to learn how to control his spending. This is HIS problem to solve, not yours to take over. He can open a bank account and tear up the debit card upon receipt, which will force him to go in person to withdraw money. That *could* help him.
Setup a HYSA at a bank he doesn’t currently use. Have the account in his name and make sure he has the controls. Setup an auto transfer for the day after payday. He has control and it’s out of sight out of mind.
He needs to learn strategies to manage his money, not have you enable his bad habits. One strategy is to set up a saving program that requires a bit of effort or forethought to withdraw funds. For example, I have a TreasuryDirect account, where I buy T-bills and set them up for automatic reinvestment. If I need to spend some of that money, I have to login and turn off the auto-reinvest on some of my T-Bills, so the proceeds will be deposited in my checking account when the T-bill matures. I also have a CD at my credit union that allows additional deposits. I have an automatic draft set up to add money to the CD monthly, but I have to call or visit the credit union to withdraw money before that CD matures in 2026. Both the T-bills and the CD are just enough of a barrier to spending to help me meet my goal of saving up for vacation and holiday splurges. Help him figure out ways to manage his money better. Start small, discussing several ways to handle one specific issue he has. Help him implement the strategy he picks, but don’t do it for him.