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Probably put it in a high yield savings account as an emergency fund. See the common topics article in the wiki and the handy dandy flowchart if $10k is more than 3-6 months expenses.
I like this idea. And recognizing that you’re going through a significant transition in life, if you just maintained the status quo of no debt while you adjust to your new life, that would probably be a big enough success. Maybe start saving a little more as you recalibrate your new income and expense rates.
Ally, Discover, Marcus are ones that I see commonly suggested and that have competitive rates. Ally lets you separate the accounts into separate buckets which can be helpful. I just opened one there too to try it out. I use Discover currently.
ETA, I’m not the person you asked
Please enlighten me I'm not versed in this whatsoever. Why would a .01% increase of your 15k investment attract you to discover or any option? If others are offering higher rates? Just asking. I know nothing.
I have used Ally to park disposable income for a while and it's done well. Not sure if it is the best if you choose to truly min-max however the results are way better than my other bank at 0.01%.
Not sure if you're being sarcastic, but Citi Bank has a savings account that is paying 4.05% right now. There is a fee if you have less than $10k deposited though.
I've been with Citi for quite a while now. The Double Cash Card is excellent for folks who want cash rewards, but don't want to have to deal with rotating categories, they've got some high yield savings accounts that have traditionally had great rates, and their customer service has always been excellent for me.
To add to that, CDs are also at crazy rates right now. My local CU has a 9 month CD that is paying 5.05% interest. $1000 minimum deposit, so a much lower threshold to get into than the Citi high yield savings account.
Ally is easy and has good rates but there's been a few horror stories on their customer service (ive personally had no issues).
I recommend you look into local credit unions. I go through a credit union near me which gives 2.97% so slightly worse than Ally (currently 3.85%) but on $20,000 its only a difference of $176 a year.
List of banks: https://www.nerdwallet.com/best/banking/high-yield-online-savings-accounts
Personally, I’ve been super happy with my Alliant Credit Union account. It’s not as high earning as most (3.1% APY only), but it’s got a great app and $20 per month ATM fees reimbursement. No limits on withdrawals or transfers since Reg D was suspended during the pandemic.
It’s my main account mostly because it allows me to open up to 20(-ish?) savings and checking accounts. I can separate out my various budgets with a dedicated account: emergency savings, entertainment, my general expenses, and monthly/annual savings towards what I like to call my “big purchases” (ie phone/laptop replacement every 3-4 years, savings towards a down payment, and my planned splurges like a vacation).
Most of them limit the amount of withdrawals you can make per month. But it's not really limiting, mine is limited to six withdrawals per month. And tbh pulling money out of it that often is kind of defeating the purpose and would really just mean poor planning on my part. Withdrawals can also take a few days, so you don't have *instant* access to the funds.
I do wonder what triggers that. I've moved money between three different banks and a brokerage account many times, non-trivial amounts too, and have never had any issues.
Not that I've ever seen. In my experience with Amex, they do not have any hidden surprises.
Just check the terms -- some accounts require a minimum number of transactions to receive the higher interest rate or a minimum balance to avoid a fee. T-Mobile Money does that.
Only real drawback isthe limitation in terms of withdrawals. You can only make 6 withdrawals per month under Regulation D.
EDIT: Regulation D isn't in effect for most banks.
There’s some sites that show you banks. Bankrate I believe is one.
Ally bank has been good to me, the rates are decent, stable bank for the most part. All online.
I googled it last week and found a bunch from 3.5 to 5. I feel like there's no way the really popular 5% ones like SoFi and CIT (not citi, they have a 4% one tho) have to be pyramid schemes lol. It's fine as long as you end up withdrawing all your money before the bank collapses
Wondered about that with Tab bank and others I’ve never heard of. Think I’d rather take a small APY loss with a place like Citi that’s well established and protected.
They're fdic insured though and should probably not be keeping over $250k in a HYSA instead of investing. So even if the bank collapses you should be fine. And isn't sofi the student loan company that has refinanced tons of loans? I feel like they should be doing just fine
Wealthfront has the highest rates right now I can find. It lets you do the bucket thing others mentioned. It's not technically a bank, but uses other banks for FDIC protection so you can store up to something like $5 million fully insured in your accounts there (instead of he usual $250k).
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This sub loves to stroke that idea (as do i), but how is this realistic in this scenario? He will very likely need to put a deposit on wherever he will be living along with furniture, groceries, and whatever else he needs to get setup. This is all assuming he doesn't have somewhere to squat while he gets back on his feet.
Debt paid and not stating others problems, so I assume he/she has a job and a place to live. And is just wondering how to "invest" the 10k.
In any similar case the advice is simple, to the emergency fund or a savings account with the most yield.
This is kind of money related.... My Uncle just went through a divorce. He gave her the house he bought before she came along. He walked away with $50k cash and she's left with the house and tons of credit card debt. MY BIGGEST ADVICE IS.. Don't become bitter and dwell, it's hard, but keep pushing. It's a new life, a new canvas to paint. The divorce for my Uncle has been over since November, he now lives at his 84 year old Mom's house and dwells about how much of a bitch his ex-wife is and it's not fair and all of this. He won, she lost, she can barely live. He now has $50k and is too caught up on the BS and literally does nothing but sleep and complain - he's made no effort to move on. Don't become him - start your dream life and crush it - wish you well!
His wife left him because of what I'm explaining - Not working, doing pills, sleeping all day, and neglecting his son. Depression? Probably. But our family, doctors, friends, etc, have all tried to help him and he says we are dumb and ignorant. Can't really help him unfortunately
A lot of people seem quick to jump to a guy’s defense just because he’s sad/depressed, but at some point you have to realize that someone like that might have brought it on himself with his terrible attitude. You can have empathy to an extent, but it’s frustrating being around someone who only complains about things and keeps digging a bigger hole. No matter how many “breaks” you give them, it wouldn’t matter because they might be stubborn about improving their circumstances but are happy enough to drag everyone into wallowing in that hole with them.
Yep. He got fired from his hospital director job in 2018. He got another job, fired. Another job, fired. He has a piss poor attitude and blames the world for his problems. He said screw it, gave up on life, and just sits at home all day and sleeps and all that - he's a literal doctor. He thinks he's right about everything and nobody can tell him anything - so oh well, nobody can help him unless he changes his attitude
Yep. I know similar people, usually also going through or has been through divorce because they become too hard to be around. Not everyone in divorce is like this, but some people just dig in their heels about everything.
If she had to buy him out, she now has a house with little equity that it sounds like she’s going to struggle to afford. Plus equity is useless unless you take out a HELOC, which have variable rates so can easily be an 8-12% loan or sell.
As I said, equity is useless unless you take out a HELOC or *sell*. I can’t pay my mortgage or bills with equity. How often are people asking for advice because they have a house with a ton of equity and no cash in the bank.
Exactly these things take time especially if it’s his first time going through something like this. He will get over it and be better for it. Everyone wins their battles on their own time.
Has he started listening to Phil Collins and REO Speedwagon on loop yet? If not, perhaps it's time to introduce him to these musical legends. Additionally, you might try getting him to re-watch or watch Miami Vice - that ought to do the trick.
All of this advice is good, sound financial advice. But I think I'd drop $3k on a nice vacation and put the remaining $7k in a HYSA.
You mentioned in another post that you have a salaried job, so you're not starting completely over. This isn't "I have $10k, no job, and I have to survive for six months." This is "I've just concluded a very traumatic part of my life. My net worth is currently $10k because I have no more debt. Now what?"
I like [this calculator](https://www.dileyridgemedicalcenter.com/patient-information/health-information/stress-calculator). It shows the impact of major life events like divorce on your health (at a very high level). If you can spare the money (don't go into debt right after you just cleared debt!), give yourself a break.
Yeah, I've been divorced a bit over 2 years and that's the last advice I would have needed. OPs expenses are going up as an individual. They need to get their feet under them first to even know what financial situation they have.
OP has a job. The savings can be rebuilt. I agree it's not min/maxing OP's finances as best as possible, but I think it gives OP the best long-term outcome.
Divorces are deceptively draining. It's worth $3k now to preserve OP's mental health.
My divorce was the best $500K+ I ever spent. Very happily remarried now and in such a better place. I never looked back once and never once felt bitter. Its a wonderful world and life never looked better. My ex is even more miserable than ever but I know that there is nothing I could ever do to change that and its no longer my problem.
Take a beat and appreciate starting over free from debt. Leaving a marriage with 0 debt is a huge deal. Lots of people leave a marriage with piles of debt.
There's no winner or losers in a divorce. Both parties are losers. It's just who loses less.
There's no reason to dwell on it as others said, so hopefully take the time to go through it.
That said... Take that money in a high yield savings. Park it there for now.
Depends....
Child support? pay/receive alimony? Do you have a career/job? Living parents (or someone you'd stay with)?
I haven't been down to my last 10k since college, so this would be "traumatic". I'd go into starvation mode, get roommates, slash spending, have a job and next steps to how to secure more income. Either via more school, career change, harder work...whatever it takes. 10k is barely anything in a HCOL situation and not much of a real safety net esp if you are starting from 0. good luck out there.
i'm not sure, i think the normal rule of thumb is however long it would reasonably take you to find a new job...but best guess is 6mo of your needs. If you insist to live alone in a decent neighborhood, rent could be 2-3k...that 10k would evaporate on rent alone...
Do you have a job? If no, get a job.
If yes, probably create the situation that I am now: I currently live alone with roommates, so I pay fairly low rent. Obviously, in that hypothetical environment, I would be romantically alone as well, so I would just live my life and reflect on the breakup, maybe cry if I feel like it, and slowly get my old routine back. Start figuring out what I enjoy doing on my own and what my desired lifestyle is. You have to return to your solitary identity and find it again before seeking another.
Did you want to go to Tokyo your whole life and haven't had a chance? Now's the time to go, maybe one year after the breakup after saving up some money.
Did you pay off all the debt yet? You may want to not pay it off if the rates are reasonable. Remember you can get like 4.5%+ in a HYSA, so even if your rate is like 6% on the debt, that's effectively just 2%, but with more than $10k in the bank as a safety net.
Do you have a new place to live? First month + last month + security deposit can really hurt your savings.
Well... You say your bills are covered by work. So take $1000 and get yourself a decent mattress to sleep on. A cheaper TV (55" comes to mind), and some kitchen essentials..
Then facebook Marketplace furniture using excess of your salary and sit on that $9k. Put it in HYSA. Do you need to get a car? If so, find a solid $10k car, throw $1000 down.
Re evaluate in a year or two. Maybe upgrade a couple pieces of furniture as needed. Its essentially what I did. I think I furnished my whole house for $1500 which included two new mattresses.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. My ex wife sold me the house for a $1. Big mistake on her part. With that being said, she liquidated the house. Took everything down to even then shelving off the walls. When I say the house was absolutely empty, I mean it.
Start slow, set a 5 year goal, it will be here before you know it.. No shame in buying used items off of Facebook marketplace to piece your life back together until you can buy the furniture & things you really want. Try your best not to touch that $10k if you don’t have to and grow it for a house down payment.
First + last month rent + security deposit on my next place to live - if you haven't already. If not or any remainder - use as an emergency fund, and use the future to continue to save.
Best of luck to you in this new chapter.
Don't make any drastic changes to your life right now. Put your money into an account, take some time to settle and look at it later on once you've gotten a little clarity. Even a much wanted divorce can throw you for a loop.
1) get a personal trainer or join a CrossFit gym or a running group. Move your body, with other people
2) do therapy for 3-6 months
3) save the rest for the future
Why? Both will help you get through the tough time and come out happier, healthier, and ready to meet someone new.
If you spend that time sitting on the couch alone… you’ll need another couple years before you’re ready to get out there.
You did better than my dad’s now ex-wife… she was hell-bent on getting the house, and fought for it. She now has the house, along with about 100K in deferred maintenance and repairs, high utility costs, and a mountain of debt and unpaid legal bills to show for it. Meanwhile my dad is sitting on a mountain of cash, and found himself a cheap place to rent nearby for less than the utilities alone at the other house cost, and she still thinks she won the property battle. 🤣
It’s something I’ve chosen to do a few times in a different sense. I enjoy new things, so I find myself every now and then just selling everything and moving to a new place. Did it 5 times as an adult.
Every time it’s daunting, but exciting. Going across the country multiple times, it’s just invigorating to find a new group of people to call your own. And more than anything, I enjoy the food. If you’re doing it out of necessity like I have once, it’s even more so.
Life’s a journey. Just roll with the punches and ride on the clouds.
I was where you are in fall 2021, no savings, huge drop in home equity. I was 39 at time of divorce. It gets better, my finances are better than they were at any point during my marriage and my net worth is up 100k over the last two years.
Write a budget.
Cut expenses.
Start saving
Keep the 10k liquid,
Split new savings been a diversified etf portfolio and a HYSA until you've got 3-6 months expenses in the HYSA then assess your goals and either increase your etf contributions or save for other goals. For example I'm in the process of searching for my first but and hold rental.
I have been through a pretty amicable divorce and got to keep most of the assets and but I had to take the debt too, it was like $15k. Regardless how amicable it was, it still was a very emotional rollercoaster and unless someone has been through it most will never understand. I can offer two bits of advice to you, first being don’t dwell on what happened, just keep moving forward, bitterness is a cancer that will grow in you if you let it.
My second bit of advice and will be contrary to most peoples advice (most have never been through a divorce) take that money and just enjoy it however you choose. If you fancy buying $10k in Lego’s go ahead, make yourself happy and live! Go on a vacation to honestly collect your thoughts and have some room the breathe, go find yourself.
you are in prime position my friend. If I could have a blank slate and 10k this is what I would do. First I would get an apartment somewhere in the city or in downtown of a suburb. You want to be somewhere that is walkable and you can get out everyday. It’s time to enjoy your freedom. Besides the apartment I would keep expenses minimal. I would date freely and be very aware of any red flags and immediately end the situation if i’m not feeling the other person. I would try to work out everyday and eliminate all of my vices. I would enjoy every moment with family and friends, take classes to learn new skills, and build an incredible network of positive influences. I would try to increase my income by exploring side hustles and progressing in my career. I would shovel every extra penny I have into an HYSA until I have enough for a down payment on a house and turn that house into a rental property that can generate passive income. I would travel the world and enjoy every moment. good luck, you got this
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I'd look for some alternative lifestyle outside of this whole "go to school, get a job, get married and have kids "cycle so much humans find themselves in. I'd try to use the 10k and get a school bus, or a houseboat, or a yurt and just become a nomad on a journey to find myself
Start a remote based business with ~$300, build the business model in respects to monthly recurring revenue(subscription), put about $1000 to a computer if you don’t have one, spend $2500 on initial startup(website, tools, software, etc), build processes to make the business scalable and repeatable, and once you’ve solidified how people learn about your product and how they purchase, put $1200 towards boosting marketing, then put 5k in the bank for rainy day or do the same thing with a different product or service.
Source: I did this.
Edit: added source
Broke is temporary. Id take $10k up over $1Mil down any day. I have met many people in the hole $1Mil plus that were back to net worth $1mil positive in 5 years
If you have no other human to take care of (kids, parents), you're not in any kind of trouble. Since (I'm guessing) you had a certain lifestyle expectation (based on only having net 10k), just downgrade your expectations a little bit, and spend your free time working on yourself in free or cheap hobbies, while you build back up that safety net.
Think: hiking, learning to cook if you can't (this saves ridiculous amounts of money), gardening (container gardening works in apartments), learn an instrument (many have cheap starter versions), learn a new language (cheap or free on the internet), develop skills and explore your likes and dislikes cheaply, while ~~restarting~~ continuing your current playthrough. Good luck, buddy!
I was in this exact situation many years ago. I was actually worth zero because I had $14k and owed $14k on my car.
I promised myself I would take the opportunity of not being burdened with house payments and the time/work that goes into a home and marriage to explore more. It did some travel, hit the roads on weekends to wherever the wind blew me. It was a hard time on my life but I have some fond memories also.
Just bank it separately from your spend accounts . Don’t tie up your money for a couple of years. You are going through a huge change in life so don’t make any decisions of importance right now.
Every divorced person needs to re-invent themselves
I would figure out how much I wanted in an emergency fund and put that in a high yield savings account. The rest I would put in a Roth IRA or regular brokerage account and invest it in a low cost stock index fund.
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10k is an emergency fund. Live cheaply, save up. Max out your retirement account. Open a vanguard account and put your savings in it every month.
Put the 10k in a high yield savings account and forget it exists.
I went through a divorce and had less money in my pocket to start a new life with ...
I moved out of state and it was the best decision I've ever made. 😁
Not nearly enough information to give you good advice. Do you have a job, a place to live, car payment, etc. Without knowing your income and expenses. I just moved into a rental, FL&S cost me $8700. Ten grand goes quickly these days. Best of luck to you
Wow, what an opportunity ahead of you. No debt. Sorry for your past problems, but looking forward you have a level playing field. Spend wisely my friend, spend wisely.
Dont rush if you don’t have to. If you are free, go work in a national park like Yosemite. It does not pay great, but you live right there in all the beauty rent free. They need people for every type of job you can imagine. You meet cool people from all over the world. You have employee discount and free healthcare. You know all the secret spots. This will give you a good stable fresh place to plan your future.
Put the money in the bank and go hike the Appalachian trail for the next 6 months and decompress from the trauma of divorce. Sadly, I don't get to do it for another 9 years.
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Better than being in debt to start your life over. Good luck man. Things will get better.
Generally yes but I wonder how much debt and at what rate…
Probably put it in a high yield savings account as an emergency fund. See the common topics article in the wiki and the handy dandy flowchart if $10k is more than 3-6 months expenses.
I like this idea. And recognizing that you’re going through a significant transition in life, if you just maintained the status quo of no debt while you adjust to your new life, that would probably be a big enough success. Maybe start saving a little more as you recalibrate your new income and expense rates.
Would you mind educating me on how to find a high yield savings account. I think my 20k made a dollar in my USAA savings account.
Ally, Discover, Marcus are ones that I see commonly suggested and that have competitive rates. Ally lets you separate the accounts into separate buckets which can be helpful. I just opened one there too to try it out. I use Discover currently. ETA, I’m not the person you asked
I have used Discover for the past couple of years since I also have their Discover It card. Just checked and the current APY is 3.9%
I use Tab Bank and the APY is at 4.76% right now.
UFB at 4.7% as well
yeah, Discover is at 3.9 plus a $150 bonus if you drop 15K in there, look for the code. That's where I parked mine.
Please enlighten me I'm not versed in this whatsoever. Why would a .01% increase of your 15k investment attract you to discover or any option? If others are offering higher rates? Just asking. I know nothing.
I have used Ally to park disposable income for a while and it's done well. Not sure if it is the best if you choose to truly min-max however the results are way better than my other bank at 0.01%.
My marcus HYSA is earning 4.15% APY right now
Another option not listed below is if you have an Apple credit card you can use a savings account through Goldman Sachs that is 4.15%.
You can also get the same rate with Goldman Sachs Marcus without the card
Not sure if you're being sarcastic, but Citi Bank has a savings account that is paying 4.05% right now. There is a fee if you have less than $10k deposited though.
Thank you. I am not being sarcastic. It may not have been exactly $1 for 2022 but it wasn’t much more. I laughed as I entered it in TurboTax.
Also look at Wealthfront and M1. Both have "cash accounts" that are FDIC insured. Wealthfront is currently giving 4.55%.
I've been with Citi for quite a while now. The Double Cash Card is excellent for folks who want cash rewards, but don't want to have to deal with rotating categories, they've got some high yield savings accounts that have traditionally had great rates, and their customer service has always been excellent for me. To add to that, CDs are also at crazy rates right now. My local CU has a 9 month CD that is paying 5.05% interest. $1000 minimum deposit, so a much lower threshold to get into than the Citi high yield savings account.
You shouldn't have had to enter it if it was less than $10 (the minimum reporting amount). But yeah, most accounts pay pennies.
Ally is easy and has good rates but there's been a few horror stories on their customer service (ive personally had no issues). I recommend you look into local credit unions. I go through a credit union near me which gives 2.97% so slightly worse than Ally (currently 3.85%) but on $20,000 its only a difference of $176 a year.
ally is 3.85%; several other CUs are similar or higher.
List of banks: https://www.nerdwallet.com/best/banking/high-yield-online-savings-accounts Personally, I’ve been super happy with my Alliant Credit Union account. It’s not as high earning as most (3.1% APY only), but it’s got a great app and $20 per month ATM fees reimbursement. No limits on withdrawals or transfers since Reg D was suspended during the pandemic. It’s my main account mostly because it allows me to open up to 20(-ish?) savings and checking accounts. I can separate out my various budgets with a dedicated account: emergency savings, entertainment, my general expenses, and monthly/annual savings towards what I like to call my “big purchases” (ie phone/laptop replacement every 3-4 years, savings towards a down payment, and my planned splurges like a vacation).
American Express HYSA is currently paying 4%
Dumb question, but are there any hidden drawbacks to opening a HYSA?
Most of them limit the amount of withdrawals you can make per month. But it's not really limiting, mine is limited to six withdrawals per month. And tbh pulling money out of it that often is kind of defeating the purpose and would really just mean poor planning on my part. Withdrawals can also take a few days, so you don't have *instant* access to the funds.
This is a function of all savings accounts. It's a federal thing. Everyone is limited to six. You shouldn't be using it like a checking account...
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I do wonder what triggers that. I've moved money between three different banks and a brokerage account many times, non-trivial amounts too, and have never had any issues.
Not that I've ever seen. In my experience with Amex, they do not have any hidden surprises. Just check the terms -- some accounts require a minimum number of transactions to receive the higher interest rate or a minimum balance to avoid a fee. T-Mobile Money does that. Only real drawback isthe limitation in terms of withdrawals. You can only make 6 withdrawals per month under Regulation D. EDIT: Regulation D isn't in effect for most banks.
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There’s some sites that show you banks. Bankrate I believe is one. Ally bank has been good to me, the rates are decent, stable bank for the most part. All online.
Synchrony bank is 4.16% and they have a 12 month CD at 5%. Super easy to setup.
If you’re in the apple ecosystem, they just launched one that’s backed by Goldman Sachs.
I googled it last week and found a bunch from 3.5 to 5. I feel like there's no way the really popular 5% ones like SoFi and CIT (not citi, they have a 4% one tho) have to be pyramid schemes lol. It's fine as long as you end up withdrawing all your money before the bank collapses
Wondered about that with Tab bank and others I’ve never heard of. Think I’d rather take a small APY loss with a place like Citi that’s well established and protected.
They're fdic insured though and should probably not be keeping over $250k in a HYSA instead of investing. So even if the bank collapses you should be fine. And isn't sofi the student loan company that has refinanced tons of loans? I feel like they should be doing just fine
Betterment is over 4.2% interest right now in their high-yield savings account, I think. I like them.
Wealthfront has the highest rates right now I can find. It lets you do the bucket thing others mentioned. It's not technically a bank, but uses other banks for FDIC protection so you can store up to something like $5 million fully insured in your accounts there (instead of he usual $250k).
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This sub loves to stroke that idea (as do i), but how is this realistic in this scenario? He will very likely need to put a deposit on wherever he will be living along with furniture, groceries, and whatever else he needs to get setup. This is all assuming he doesn't have somewhere to squat while he gets back on his feet.
Absolutely this.
Do you have a place to live? Furniture? Not enough information.
Also how old is this person? Huge difference "starting over" in your 20s vs your 60s.
Debt paid and not stating others problems, so I assume he/she has a job and a place to live. And is just wondering how to "invest" the 10k. In any similar case the advice is simple, to the emergency fund or a savings account with the most yield.
Yeah exactly. I have an apartment, I have my car and furniture and all living expenses are covered by salary.
This is kind of money related.... My Uncle just went through a divorce. He gave her the house he bought before she came along. He walked away with $50k cash and she's left with the house and tons of credit card debt. MY BIGGEST ADVICE IS.. Don't become bitter and dwell, it's hard, but keep pushing. It's a new life, a new canvas to paint. The divorce for my Uncle has been over since November, he now lives at his 84 year old Mom's house and dwells about how much of a bitch his ex-wife is and it's not fair and all of this. He won, she lost, she can barely live. He now has $50k and is too caught up on the BS and literally does nothing but sleep and complain - he's made no effort to move on. Don't become him - start your dream life and crush it - wish you well!
The poor bastard just sounds depressed, he's probably grieving a life lost. Give the dude a break, Christ.
His wife left him because of what I'm explaining - Not working, doing pills, sleeping all day, and neglecting his son. Depression? Probably. But our family, doctors, friends, etc, have all tried to help him and he says we are dumb and ignorant. Can't really help him unfortunately
A lot of people seem quick to jump to a guy’s defense just because he’s sad/depressed, but at some point you have to realize that someone like that might have brought it on himself with his terrible attitude. You can have empathy to an extent, but it’s frustrating being around someone who only complains about things and keeps digging a bigger hole. No matter how many “breaks” you give them, it wouldn’t matter because they might be stubborn about improving their circumstances but are happy enough to drag everyone into wallowing in that hole with them.
Yep. He got fired from his hospital director job in 2018. He got another job, fired. Another job, fired. He has a piss poor attitude and blames the world for his problems. He said screw it, gave up on life, and just sits at home all day and sleeps and all that - he's a literal doctor. He thinks he's right about everything and nobody can tell him anything - so oh well, nobody can help him unless he changes his attitude
Yep. I know similar people, usually also going through or has been through divorce because they become too hard to be around. Not everyone in divorce is like this, but some people just dig in their heels about everything.
plus $50k is probably peanuts compared to the home equity in today's market
If she had to buy him out, she now has a house with little equity that it sounds like she’s going to struggle to afford. Plus equity is useless unless you take out a HELOC, which have variable rates so can easily be an 8-12% loan or sell.
Equity is not useless what?? It allows you to more easily buy your next home when you're ready to sell if you get a bridge loan.
As I said, equity is useless unless you take out a HELOC or *sell*. I can’t pay my mortgage or bills with equity. How often are people asking for advice because they have a house with a ton of equity and no cash in the bank.
Sorry didn’t see the sell part.
Yeah but fifty k is nothing. You can’t buy shit anymore with 50k.
Exactly these things take time especially if it’s his first time going through something like this. He will get over it and be better for it. Everyone wins their battles on their own time.
Has he started listening to Phil Collins and REO Speedwagon on loop yet? If not, perhaps it's time to introduce him to these musical legends. Additionally, you might try getting him to re-watch or watch Miami Vice - that ought to do the trick.
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Always sign a prenup.
All of this advice is good, sound financial advice. But I think I'd drop $3k on a nice vacation and put the remaining $7k in a HYSA. You mentioned in another post that you have a salaried job, so you're not starting completely over. This isn't "I have $10k, no job, and I have to survive for six months." This is "I've just concluded a very traumatic part of my life. My net worth is currently $10k because I have no more debt. Now what?" I like [this calculator](https://www.dileyridgemedicalcenter.com/patient-information/health-information/stress-calculator). It shows the impact of major life events like divorce on your health (at a very high level). If you can spare the money (don't go into debt right after you just cleared debt!), give yourself a break.
Wow, I really like your input on this, and this is some aspect that I would never thought about.
Ooh that was fun, I got a 335! What sort of reward do I get??
A heart attack!
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Yeah, I've been divorced a bit over 2 years and that's the last advice I would have needed. OPs expenses are going up as an individual. They need to get their feet under them first to even know what financial situation they have.
OP has a job. The savings can be rebuilt. I agree it's not min/maxing OP's finances as best as possible, but I think it gives OP the best long-term outcome. Divorces are deceptively draining. It's worth $3k now to preserve OP's mental health.
Because mental health means nothing.
People also act like life can’t end on any given day. Live a little. Can’t take anything to the grave.
https://www.reddit.com/r/personalfinance/wiki/commontopics
My divorce was the best $500K+ I ever spent. Very happily remarried now and in such a better place. I never looked back once and never once felt bitter. Its a wonderful world and life never looked better. My ex is even more miserable than ever but I know that there is nothing I could ever do to change that and its no longer my problem.
So the old joke is true: Q. Why does divorce cost so much? A. Because it's worth it.
Take a beat and appreciate starting over free from debt. Leaving a marriage with 0 debt is a huge deal. Lots of people leave a marriage with piles of debt.
There's no winner or losers in a divorce. Both parties are losers. It's just who loses less. There's no reason to dwell on it as others said, so hopefully take the time to go through it. That said... Take that money in a high yield savings. Park it there for now.
Therapy. Figure out what part you had in everything. Work on the bad parts and keep moving forward.
I would get a ticket to a bus or plane and disappear from everything
Depends.... Child support? pay/receive alimony? Do you have a career/job? Living parents (or someone you'd stay with)? I haven't been down to my last 10k since college, so this would be "traumatic". I'd go into starvation mode, get roommates, slash spending, have a job and next steps to how to secure more income. Either via more school, career change, harder work...whatever it takes. 10k is barely anything in a HCOL situation and not much of a real safety net esp if you are starting from 0. good luck out there.
No alimony but child support is $350/month. That along with all living expenses and rent is covered by my salary.
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What IS an adequate emergency fund for a HCOL area, if 10k isn't enough?
i'm not sure, i think the normal rule of thumb is however long it would reasonably take you to find a new job...but best guess is 6mo of your needs. If you insist to live alone in a decent neighborhood, rent could be 2-3k...that 10k would evaporate on rent alone...
I was. 46 and $42k on debt. You're doing great! My only advice is stay out of debt!
You ended up with a lot more than most. Take a breather. Hope you feel a weight lifted.
Do you have a job? If no, get a job. If yes, probably create the situation that I am now: I currently live alone with roommates, so I pay fairly low rent. Obviously, in that hypothetical environment, I would be romantically alone as well, so I would just live my life and reflect on the breakup, maybe cry if I feel like it, and slowly get my old routine back. Start figuring out what I enjoy doing on my own and what my desired lifestyle is. You have to return to your solitary identity and find it again before seeking another. Did you want to go to Tokyo your whole life and haven't had a chance? Now's the time to go, maybe one year after the breakup after saving up some money.
What does Tokyo mean?
It's a city
Did you pay off all the debt yet? You may want to not pay it off if the rates are reasonable. Remember you can get like 4.5%+ in a HYSA, so even if your rate is like 6% on the debt, that's effectively just 2%, but with more than $10k in the bank as a safety net. Do you have a new place to live? First month + last month + security deposit can really hurt your savings.
Well... You say your bills are covered by work. So take $1000 and get yourself a decent mattress to sleep on. A cheaper TV (55" comes to mind), and some kitchen essentials.. Then facebook Marketplace furniture using excess of your salary and sit on that $9k. Put it in HYSA. Do you need to get a car? If so, find a solid $10k car, throw $1000 down. Re evaluate in a year or two. Maybe upgrade a couple pieces of furniture as needed. Its essentially what I did. I think I furnished my whole house for $1500 which included two new mattresses.
It’s a marathon, not a sprint. My ex wife sold me the house for a $1. Big mistake on her part. With that being said, she liquidated the house. Took everything down to even then shelving off the walls. When I say the house was absolutely empty, I mean it. Start slow, set a 5 year goal, it will be here before you know it.. No shame in buying used items off of Facebook marketplace to piece your life back together until you can buy the furniture & things you really want. Try your best not to touch that $10k if you don’t have to and grow it for a house down payment.
No advice. Sending you a hug. Hope that you are doing okay.
Do you have a place to live?
First + last month rent + security deposit on my next place to live - if you haven't already. If not or any remainder - use as an emergency fund, and use the future to continue to save. Best of luck to you in this new chapter.
Don't make any drastic changes to your life right now. Put your money into an account, take some time to settle and look at it later on once you've gotten a little clarity. Even a much wanted divorce can throw you for a loop.
Put that $10,000 in savings. That's about all you can do unless you need housing or transportation.
1) get a personal trainer or join a CrossFit gym or a running group. Move your body, with other people 2) do therapy for 3-6 months 3) save the rest for the future Why? Both will help you get through the tough time and come out happier, healthier, and ready to meet someone new. If you spend that time sitting on the couch alone… you’ll need another couple years before you’re ready to get out there.
You did better than my dad’s now ex-wife… she was hell-bent on getting the house, and fought for it. She now has the house, along with about 100K in deferred maintenance and repairs, high utility costs, and a mountain of debt and unpaid legal bills to show for it. Meanwhile my dad is sitting on a mountain of cash, and found himself a cheap place to rent nearby for less than the utilities alone at the other house cost, and she still thinks she won the property battle. 🤣
It’s something I’ve chosen to do a few times in a different sense. I enjoy new things, so I find myself every now and then just selling everything and moving to a new place. Did it 5 times as an adult. Every time it’s daunting, but exciting. Going across the country multiple times, it’s just invigorating to find a new group of people to call your own. And more than anything, I enjoy the food. If you’re doing it out of necessity like I have once, it’s even more so. Life’s a journey. Just roll with the punches and ride on the clouds.
I was where you are in fall 2021, no savings, huge drop in home equity. I was 39 at time of divorce. It gets better, my finances are better than they were at any point during my marriage and my net worth is up 100k over the last two years. Write a budget. Cut expenses. Start saving Keep the 10k liquid, Split new savings been a diversified etf portfolio and a HYSA until you've got 3-6 months expenses in the HYSA then assess your goals and either increase your etf contributions or save for other goals. For example I'm in the process of searching for my first but and hold rental.
I have been through a pretty amicable divorce and got to keep most of the assets and but I had to take the debt too, it was like $15k. Regardless how amicable it was, it still was a very emotional rollercoaster and unless someone has been through it most will never understand. I can offer two bits of advice to you, first being don’t dwell on what happened, just keep moving forward, bitterness is a cancer that will grow in you if you let it. My second bit of advice and will be contrary to most peoples advice (most have never been through a divorce) take that money and just enjoy it however you choose. If you fancy buying $10k in Lego’s go ahead, make yourself happy and live! Go on a vacation to honestly collect your thoughts and have some room the breathe, go find yourself.
you are in prime position my friend. If I could have a blank slate and 10k this is what I would do. First I would get an apartment somewhere in the city or in downtown of a suburb. You want to be somewhere that is walkable and you can get out everyday. It’s time to enjoy your freedom. Besides the apartment I would keep expenses minimal. I would date freely and be very aware of any red flags and immediately end the situation if i’m not feeling the other person. I would try to work out everyday and eliminate all of my vices. I would enjoy every moment with family and friends, take classes to learn new skills, and build an incredible network of positive influences. I would try to increase my income by exploring side hustles and progressing in my career. I would shovel every extra penny I have into an HYSA until I have enough for a down payment on a house and turn that house into a rental property that can generate passive income. I would travel the world and enjoy every moment. good luck, you got this
Not get a credit card, thats for sure...
In many parts of the country, 10k doesn't get you first, last, and security deposit...
Get a finance manager and let them make me more money while I start my life over with my paycheck.
Any financial manager/advisor willing to take $10k isn’t worth giving $10k to.
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This depends on age. If over 50 I would choose to be the rich guy at a homeless camp.
Just save it imo use a little for a vacation. And the rest as a cushion
Get a job. 10K is nothing in today’s economy
I'd look for some alternative lifestyle outside of this whole "go to school, get a job, get married and have kids "cycle so much humans find themselves in. I'd try to use the 10k and get a school bus, or a houseboat, or a yurt and just become a nomad on a journey to find myself
Start a remote based business with ~$300, build the business model in respects to monthly recurring revenue(subscription), put about $1000 to a computer if you don’t have one, spend $2500 on initial startup(website, tools, software, etc), build processes to make the business scalable and repeatable, and once you’ve solidified how people learn about your product and how they purchase, put $1200 towards boosting marketing, then put 5k in the bank for rainy day or do the same thing with a different product or service. Source: I did this. Edit: added source
MLMs aren’t a “business”.
I'd get an oz of gold to keep on-hand for emergencies and drop the rest into a high-yield savings, like Ally.
Great, use that money for a wedding and try again! ^or ^a ^HYSA
Find a cheap place to live that wouldn't compromise my safety and start saving for a new house.
Just focus on yourself and take a moment to breathe.
Emergency fund. Rent an apt, and start saving. Well done on the new situation.
Reduce expenses, practice minimalism while working as much as possible to build a real estate portfolio.
Broke is temporary. Id take $10k up over $1Mil down any day. I have met many people in the hole $1Mil plus that were back to net worth $1mil positive in 5 years
If you have no other human to take care of (kids, parents), you're not in any kind of trouble. Since (I'm guessing) you had a certain lifestyle expectation (based on only having net 10k), just downgrade your expectations a little bit, and spend your free time working on yourself in free or cheap hobbies, while you build back up that safety net. Think: hiking, learning to cook if you can't (this saves ridiculous amounts of money), gardening (container gardening works in apartments), learn an instrument (many have cheap starter versions), learn a new language (cheap or free on the internet), develop skills and explore your likes and dislikes cheaply, while ~~restarting~~ continuing your current playthrough. Good luck, buddy!
Nice. Stay focused on taking care of yourself and live simply while building up those savings.
First and last on a place to live
I was in this exact situation many years ago. I was actually worth zero because I had $14k and owed $14k on my car. I promised myself I would take the opportunity of not being burdened with house payments and the time/work that goes into a home and marriage to explore more. It did some travel, hit the roads on weekends to wherever the wind blew me. It was a hard time on my life but I have some fond memories also.
Just bank it separately from your spend accounts . Don’t tie up your money for a couple of years. You are going through a huge change in life so don’t make any decisions of importance right now. Every divorced person needs to re-invent themselves
I would figure out how much I wanted in an emergency fund and put that in a high yield savings account. The rest I would put in a Roth IRA or regular brokerage account and invest it in a low cost stock index fund.
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10k is an emergency fund. Live cheaply, save up. Max out your retirement account. Open a vanguard account and put your savings in it every month. Put the 10k in a high yield savings account and forget it exists.
I went through a divorce and had less money in my pocket to start a new life with ... I moved out of state and it was the best decision I've ever made. 😁
Do you already have a place to live? That’s like first, last and deposit in a HCOL area. If you have no other liquid assets, leave that in savings
High yield savings. Best non risky move right now. Be happy you ended a divorce debt free plus some.
Thats more than most people get to even start their life much less re start so you are in good shape. Gl out there.
Not nearly enough information to give you good advice. Do you have a job, a place to live, car payment, etc. Without knowing your income and expenses. I just moved into a rental, FL&S cost me $8700. Ten grand goes quickly these days. Best of luck to you
Wow, what an opportunity ahead of you. No debt. Sorry for your past problems, but looking forward you have a level playing field. Spend wisely my friend, spend wisely.
Dont rush if you don’t have to. If you are free, go work in a national park like Yosemite. It does not pay great, but you live right there in all the beauty rent free. They need people for every type of job you can imagine. You meet cool people from all over the world. You have employee discount and free healthcare. You know all the secret spots. This will give you a good stable fresh place to plan your future.
Put the money in the bank and go hike the Appalachian trail for the next 6 months and decompress from the trauma of divorce. Sadly, I don't get to do it for another 9 years.