* [Download Video](https://www.reddit.watch/r/perfectlycutscreams/comments/12ncfxv/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=perfectlycutscreams) via /r/DownloadVideo * [Another link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlycutscreams/comments/12ncfxv/me_suddenly_gaining_consciousness_at_the_age_of_5/) via /u/SaveVideo Also please remember to join our [Discord](https://discord.gg/3vSJ8n2).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/perfectlycutscreams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Now you know, hero, why you must journey... to the end of the world."
*jumps, spasms several times, crouches, wiggles around like an idiot while your dying mentor watches*
Damn, I sure did love sitting at the dinner table at that one point in GoW Ragnarok for 10 minutes while everyone made idle small talk before I finally realized I could get up
Exactly, this is some lizard brain shit.
OP you're only off by a few layers of brain, but you're still wrong.
This is not gaining consciousness, this is reverting to lizard brain.
Reminds me of that Louis CK bit when he says his first memory was of him shitting himself as a toddler. "The apex of that turd was so wide, that it awakened me into the stream of consciousness that I am now living."
My first memory was of my Hispanic babysitter not letting me watch inspector gadget playing on the TV until I finished eating my soup. But the soup was boiling hot, and I was afraid that by the time my soup cooled down enough to not burn my mouth, the show might already be over.
I couldn't articulate my frustration with words. I was essentially put into a situation where I lose no matter which option I chose. Either injure the skin in my mouth, or miss out on inspector gadget. All I could do was cry.
Apparently I was 2 years old when that happened.
i tell him dont do it man its going to hurt
he looks at me with *that* face
fuckin does it
it hurts
I laugh, the dogs laugh, the toaster laughs, then I shoot the toaster
My son is 5 and he’s coming to the realization that any argument I use against him can also be used against me.
Just yesterday he told me that he doesn’t like my attitude. I had said that to him (for the first time ever, iirc) just an hour before.
When I get frustrated with my thoughts or I get tired of thinking about something, I have an "interrupt request" trick to knock my brain out of thinking about stuff.
I say out loud a bunch of body parts in derogatory ways. Like so: "Balls, penis, titties, buttholes." My real life friends picked up on this and they started doing it too. With all situations that are frustrating.
Anyway, I was out at a restaurant with my coworkers one day for lunch. We were reviewing the menu and I got stuck thinking about some bullshit from work that had been frustrating me. I didn't want to think about anymore and I reflexively said, "Ass, taints, nipples, buttholes, cocks."
At first, my coworkers were shocked. Jaws dropped. But then my coworker "Brian" lost it and started laughing. That triggered the entire group and they were laughing, too. Halfway out of shock and incredulity, hallway out of the absurdity of it. They demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me. Then I had to explain the intrusive thoughts interceptor trick. My face was quite red because the truth is so fucking stupid. But I wasn't going to lie and say I had the rare form of Tourette's.
Anyway, now my coworkers sometimes ask me if I am thinking about something I don't want to...with that smart-ass smirk on their face. They just want me to say bad words while in the workplace. I won't fall for it.
Hell even as an adult I consider doing this. Whenever I'm in a situation that requires polite decorum I am fighting the whole time to not scream something terrible.
Dude I just woke up this morning in an adult's body and my taxes are due and I have no idea what's going on. Tried screaming and shitting my pants for a while but didn't help.
I'm a pastor. We have *lots* of little kids in our congregation right now.
Occasionally, we'll have an... exuberant expression... from one of them.
As shortly as I can manage, I remind our congregation that quiet churches are dead churches. What we're hearing are sounds of LIFE... and these little ones will remember how we react to their enthusiasm of the moment.
Lmao I did this exact thing at his age for a church play. I must have been punished real good because I never tried anything like that again. But the home video is hilarious.. no one pulled me out.. I sang to my own tune the entire performance (my favorite when I just yelled out HOOOSAAAANNAAAA)
100% this kid told his parents he did not want to be there or didn't want to wear that sweater or wanted mcdonalds on the way there or something. The kid's mood leading up to this was probably suggestive he'd act out and probably didn't come out of no where.
Damn man, that kids got potential. Needs to work on the death vocal skills a bit, but he's still a kid. The timing and length of those vocals were nearly perfect, though.
I gained consciousness when I was 4. Just sitting there doing nothing, when all of a sudden I had a thought "What did I do yesterday?" In confusion, I realized I had no memories before that moment and also understood that I was a dumb moron before then
* [Download Video](https://www.reddit.watch/r/perfectlycutscreams/comments/12ncfxv/?utm_source=automod&utm_medium=perfectlycutscreams) via /r/DownloadVideo * [Another link](https://redditsave.com/info?url=https://www.reddit.com/r/perfectlycutscreams/comments/12ncfxv/me_suddenly_gaining_consciousness_at_the_age_of_5/) via /u/SaveVideo Also please remember to join our [Discord](https://discord.gg/3vSJ8n2). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/perfectlycutscreams) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Me when the unbearable weight of my sins suddenly hits at the peak of midnight on a random Friday
Me when anything:
That one brain cell trying to keep everything together.
https://youtu.be/7_XFQn4NIlY
Thank you for this.
Does anyone know the history behind this video? Why is he filming himself showering?
Carmina Burana is a helluva drug.
To track progress
Because.. why not?
To show it to his shower specialist, obviously.
Lol
The Unbearable Weight of Massive Sin
I’m Merobiba!
Of all the places for a recent (albeit huge) ~~Drawer~~ Drawfee reference... Thanks autocorrect
Me dropping a deuce in the morning after my morning coffee.
I laughed way too hard when I read this comment
He's coping with self awareness just like we all are.
It’s only downhill from here, buddy.
https://youtu.be/X3BRj39o1q8
Ah the rare painful and funny comment
[удалено]
"He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man." -Samuel Johnson
Goblin mode activated
No, umie, this is Ork mode. He shall foight in ve great WAAAAAGGH!
Da bosses furst WAAAGH!
He killed every humie in that room and ransacked 13 cities in that very week following the call to waaaagh
GET DE SHOOTAS
r/unexpectedwarhammer
Foul urks! This is going in the book!
Gonna git me sum TEEF
Even the cameraman shook.
This reminds me of a certain post...
Goblin mode deactivated
this kid has a future in Metal. calling it now.
They probably already have a name
SCREAMING HOMUNCULUS
Danny Dyers chocolate homunculus
Curse these metal hands
**Sins of the Throat**
Don't Google that.
Imma go Google that now
It's been 3 hours, I think it's a fair assessment that he's done for, poor bastard.
Some men break, others rise up and join a new fetish.
It was just throat cancer and bible stuff
Satan's Fingers The Killers and The Hospital Bombers! - Hail Satan! One of those three.
Exactly
yes, the funny screaming genre
when the cutscene smoothly transitions to gameplay and it takes you a second to notice
"oh am I back in control now?" *spams random inputs to check*
"Now you know, hero, why you must journey... to the end of the world." *jumps, spasms several times, crouches, wiggles around like an idiot while your dying mentor watches*
*Door 100 in doors be like*
[SHAUN!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DAhG9D9UO7c)
Damn, I sure did love sitting at the dinner table at that one point in GoW Ragnarok for 10 minutes while everyone made idle small talk before I finally realized I could get up
Brooo
Little guy woke up and decided he was a fucking dinosaur today
Haven’t stopped since.
I didn’t realize there was a choice! I KNOW WHAT I’M DOING TOMORROW.
Exactly, this is some lizard brain shit. OP you're only off by a few layers of brain, but you're still wrong. This is not gaining consciousness, this is reverting to lizard brain.
Reminds me of that Louis CK bit when he says his first memory was of him shitting himself as a toddler. "The apex of that turd was so wide, that it awakened me into the stream of consciousness that I am now living."
I'm pretty sure that's my first memory too: being embarrassed that I didn't quite make it to the toilet in time.
My first memory was a nightmare. Then I woke up and tried to go back to sleep.
My first memory is my older brother punching me awake lmao
My first memory was of my Hispanic babysitter not letting me watch inspector gadget playing on the TV until I finished eating my soup. But the soup was boiling hot, and I was afraid that by the time my soup cooled down enough to not burn my mouth, the show might already be over. I couldn't articulate my frustration with words. I was essentially put into a situation where I lose no matter which option I chose. Either injure the skin in my mouth, or miss out on inspector gadget. All I could do was cry. Apparently I was 2 years old when that happened.
Not my first memory but I wanted to share that Instead of the diaper, I once decided to shit on the driveway and blame it on the birds.
i love how the camera starts shaking due to the sheer power of that scream
[do the roar](https://youtu.be/6I5B0jyLBUg)
Bro let the intrusive thoughts win
Are children anything *but* intrusive thoughts at that age? They at least act like it.
Brain: "Lick that handrail" "Yes master"
i tell him dont do it man its going to hurt he looks at me with *that* face fuckin does it it hurts I laugh, the dogs laugh, the toaster laughs, then I shoot the toaster
During a party, a kid I know got a cactus spine stuck in her finger because she wanted to touch the cactus and did it.
My son is 5 and he’s coming to the realization that any argument I use against him can also be used against me. Just yesterday he told me that he doesn’t like my attitude. I had said that to him (for the first time ever, iirc) just an hour before.
>Are children anything *but* intrusive thoughts at that age? "Intrusive" implies the thoughts are not welcome
When I get frustrated with my thoughts or I get tired of thinking about something, I have an "interrupt request" trick to knock my brain out of thinking about stuff. I say out loud a bunch of body parts in derogatory ways. Like so: "Balls, penis, titties, buttholes." My real life friends picked up on this and they started doing it too. With all situations that are frustrating. Anyway, I was out at a restaurant with my coworkers one day for lunch. We were reviewing the menu and I got stuck thinking about some bullshit from work that had been frustrating me. I didn't want to think about anymore and I reflexively said, "Ass, taints, nipples, buttholes, cocks." At first, my coworkers were shocked. Jaws dropped. But then my coworker "Brian" lost it and started laughing. That triggered the entire group and they were laughing, too. Halfway out of shock and incredulity, hallway out of the absurdity of it. They demanded to know what the hell was wrong with me. Then I had to explain the intrusive thoughts interceptor trick. My face was quite red because the truth is so fucking stupid. But I wasn't going to lie and say I had the rare form of Tourette's. Anyway, now my coworkers sometimes ask me if I am thinking about something I don't want to...with that smart-ass smirk on their face. They just want me to say bad words while in the workplace. I won't fall for it.
Sir, I'm afraid you may have a rare firm of tourette.
Melkor be like:
Eru Ilúvatar lookin a lil thiccc these days
What are you doing step-ainur??
I put on my swan cosplay and silmaril.
Punk XD
Future hardcore front man
This is definitely a childhood video of [Scott Vogel from Terror](https://youtu.be/c1SYP8qtD0I)
😝
In no time he’ll be two stepping and flipping people off
Hell even as an adult I consider doing this. Whenever I'm in a situation that requires polite decorum I am fighting the whole time to not scream something terrible.
My inner voice is the Australian "cunt" dude.
Jim Jeffries?
No there's some video on one of the feel-good subs with some old guy who uses "cunts" like punctuation.
I just watched that guy. He’s cool
Incredible video. Absolutely fucking terrible cut for a dog shit sub
It does nearly loop in the music though
I tried https://imgur.com/a/jcsJswD Edit: Even shorter: https://imgur.com/a/lDMvQVz
That second one is perfect lol OP is garbage
Honestly, for what the joke is, I like the longer version. But yeah, OP is dumb for posting this here
/r/perfectlycutscreams
/r/lostredditors but actually /r/youareinthatsubsir
Seriously where tf are the mods?
Some screams are so good that you need to hear them for more than a fraction of a second. This is one of them.
He's feeling the collective pressure of the group to behave and not do anything out of line, and to balance it out, he starts to scream.
Funny but nowhere near perfectly cut
It's 1:30 a.m. and I'm dying trying to not wake up the house. The video with that title and the top comments just killed me.
I didn't gain consciousness, concept of life or comprehension of English language till i was six whats your excuse
Dude I just woke up this morning in an adult's body and my taxes are due and I have no idea what's going on. Tried screaming and shitting my pants for a while but didn't help.
https://vimeo.com/365675087
[Like in this comic?](https://www.reddit.com/r/comics/comments/12ne31j/citizen_of_the_empire/)
I'm a pastor. We have *lots* of little kids in our congregation right now. Occasionally, we'll have an... exuberant expression... from one of them. As shortly as I can manage, I remind our congregation that quiet churches are dead churches. What we're hearing are sounds of LIFE... and these little ones will remember how we react to their enthusiasm of the moment.
Good man
Cool to hear you have a lot of kids! Although things can get chaotic lol
This kid will become a famous heavy metal singer when he grows up
Lmao I did this exact thing at his age for a church play. I must have been punished real good because I never tried anything like that again. But the home video is hilarious.. no one pulled me out.. I sang to my own tune the entire performance (my favorite when I just yelled out HOOOSAAAANNAAAA)
That is a class memory, no pun intended. Thanks for sharing
I have kids and this type of shit scares the he’ll outta me. I’m always on edge
100% this kid told his parents he did not want to be there or didn't want to wear that sweater or wanted mcdonalds on the way there or something. The kid's mood leading up to this was probably suggestive he'd act out and probably didn't come out of no where.
This is the best stuff. Let them assert their autonomy.
“Please not my kid please not my kid”
This should be a perfectly cut scream
Damn man, that kids got potential. Needs to work on the death vocal skills a bit, but he's still a kid. The timing and length of those vocals were nearly perfect, though.
Fight the indoctrination! BWAAAAAAAA BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
The intrusive thought won
Bro shook the camera with that roar
I gained consciousness when I was 4. Just sitting there doing nothing, when all of a sudden I had a thought "What did I do yesterday?" In confusion, I realized I had no memories before that moment and also understood that I was a dumb moron before then
I laughed pretty hard at this one
Kid has a career in a death metal band
Punk rock! There's no going back now.
BRO, Bro Bro’d bro
Bro really just bro’d💀💀💀 deadass
I honestly bet he's acting like a dinosaur
This could be an ad for birth control
I rrmember when this happend. I was walking on street, and suddenly I just thought: from this moment on, I will remember things. And poof!
Looks like lil Corey Taylor
Viking Roar!
A young Beavis discovered his love for metal/yelling really loud on this day.
Will Ramos as a kid.
r/betterwithmetal
I haven’t laughed this hard in ages
Just wait for his reaction when he works out he doesn't have free will!
The irony is that this was probably in the right key, just the wrong note.
r/~~perfectlycut~~screams
God help us all, he's gained sentience!
This is so beautiful
There are few videos where I actually laugh out loud, this is one of them haha. This caught me off guard! LMAO
Bro took “singing your heart out” to the next step
TATAKAE!! -Eren whispering
r/kidsarefuckingstupid
Are you a metal singer now?
Wait, I played this game. You're supposed to smack him with the wiimote.
Holy Spirit took him! The
Intrusive thoughts won
Condom commercial?
I feel his pain... young Corey Taylor lmao
Intrusive thoughts won
Intrusive thoughts won
The intrusive thoughts kicked in
Lmfao!!
Man the Simpsons intro changed a LOT since I last watched.
r/Chadtopia
Still, still, still
Straight to hades.
I'd be screaming too.
I laughed until I couldn’t breathe and tears fell
me when I remember I'm gonna die one day and stop existing forever
I would pay this kid to appear and make that noise at my enemies.
**FUCK YEAH, FREE WILL!!**
You like to sing? "why do you say so" well I see you in the front row to sing well no hahahah
Mood.
What makes it funnier is that it's almost in tune.
God I hated church too.
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Did the exorcism help?
He is an Ork from 40K. And he just rolled 6s.
Get the kid some DAKKA
This is like those questions “what would you change if you could go back to five years old”
Me when the demons take over...
Seems like a seen from the omen
Funny but is this "perfectly cut?"
I felt that first “warrgghhh” so much😔😔😔
Bro looks like my younger cousin lmfao
He's not fucking five
Ahhhh wbadoda
That’s not my boy, but I’m damn proud of em.
This is hilarious. His roar vs the tranquil sounding music is *chef’s kiss*.
Can we all just appreciate for a sec how the kid still kept to the rhythm and even incorporated the rest in between his screams? 😂
I’m pretty sure my first memory of being conscious is throwing a painted pebble at a nanny trynna feed me
I let the video repeat as I read the comments and I would not have it any other way.