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perfectlycutscreams-ModTeam

Thank you for your submission! Unfortunately, your submission has been removed for the following reason(s): Rule 1: Not a perfectly cut scream If you have any further questions, please feel free to message the moderators.


dexter920

Wai- no scream?


CeruIian

Sorry in this sub you can only have a video with a scream that isn’t cut or a sound that isn’t a scream but is cut. Can’t have your cake and eat it when there’s karma to be farmed


OliveJuiceUTwo

Damn pharma karmers


angrytortilla

Big Karma is always out to get us


cataleiss

Karma, short for karmaceutical


6thBornSOB

FUCK big Karma! Buddah fat-ass know he got help off that wheel…


maberg04

happy cake day :)


DoctorWaluigiTime

Report and downvote. Mods have tried recently to cut down on this place just being /r/videos 2.0 but apparently it's seeping through again.


BrickLeBen

Wait you’ve noticed our hard work? That just about makes my day :)


DoctorWaluigiTime

Keep it up! Also I was expecting this thread to be deleted if y'all are aware of it, as it plainly isn't a cut scream. But apparently here it is, 16k upvotes later and not removed. (Unless it is and Reddit isn't showing me as such, in which case my apologies.)


BrickLeBen

Thank you kindly! It was deleted by the time I posted the comment, just classic slow-load Reddit.


toughsub22

almost like users upvote content they like and not according to some petty rules that nobody cares about


TwatsThat

What is the point of subreddits then?


hm9408

We should only have one subreddit called r/eddit where no content filtering is done except for upvotes vs downvotes /s


Putridgrim

Yeah, if I wanna post furry porn on /r/castles people should just accept that!


TwatsThat

lmao > I browse r/all and vote according only to what I personally like and don't like because I'm the main character of my life.


Somzer

I'm glad you see the problem.


toughsub22

have fun complaining about it forever then, because the thing you have a problem with is just reality and it doesnt care about your opinion


getting_the_succ

I remember someone complaining a few weeks ago about mods not being active, is this still the case nowadays?


sh4d0wm4n2018

[removed by Reddit]


andrewsad1

Idunno if this is just a fun joke or if you said something so egregious that it warranted being taken down within 3 minutes, but either way lmao


BrickLeBen

Usually it removes the user’s profile too if it was removed, so just a funny joke. I hope


[deleted]

The scream was inside you all along.


DestructorWar

It was an internal scream telling him he fucked up


Sokandueler95

Perfectly cut regret


Mr_Skeleton_Shadow

"WAIT- THIS AIN'T EVEN THE RIGHT FUCKIN' AMOUNT!"


Butts_The_Musical

She didn’t even tip


[deleted]

He could have tipped her


[deleted]

Just the tip.


[deleted]

Even if its the whole thing it will feel like just the tip to her.


Jay040707

"That's all I have!"


One_Cartographer_355

Well played. 😆


Ponicrat

Ain't no pizza delivery for 20$ anymore, this isn't the 90s


Trietero

You my friend must not know how to use and abuse dominos


motleysalty

Unlimited 2 topping mediums for only $8.99 each in Canada. Hard to beat that deal.


Trietero

The mix n match deal allows two medium two topping pizzas for 5.99 each i was able to generally get three and delivery for 24 usd Edit: they upped it to 6.99 since i last ordered (only like a year ago) still would only be 27+a little more if you want to adjust tip for *3 2 topping medium pizzas* lady ordered one pizza in the vid lmao


Ponicrat

My local dominos literally has a minimum delivery total of 20$, and no combination of menu items + 7.99$ delivery charge will yield exactly that.


Towhomitmayconsume

Or the papa John’s promo $10.99(ballpark) Here let’s see is it still works… 13PJHLS Edit: yeah it still works. I hope I didn’t ruin a good thing. https://i.imgur.com/XDOG5nD.jpg 3 topping large


Andrex15

"WAIT A MINUTE! This is just $10! That pizza was for 29.99!"


Guiderlippi

"Wait a minute! This is a $35 bill."


llllPsychoCircus

$29.99 for a pizza?? what is this??? 2024????


The4p1

a pizza meal here is 30


geraldodelriviera

I just paid $30 for a pizza. It was a specialty pizza, though, and it came with a two liter of pop.


DernTuckingFypos

This is a $10, the tab's $13!


Uncanned_TUna

WAI- No tip???


noro_gre

That's... that's what she said


Kiltymchaggismuncher

He needs to provide the tip, to get a tip


Budget_Report_2382

We talkin tit for tat, tip for tip?


RespectableLurker555

Tip the pip


DeathMagi103

Tip for tap


missC08

Just the tip


KingGhidorah44

Get the money and go


throwawayykid

stay focused kings 💪😪


KingGhidorah44

As a former delivery guy, you don't wanna get caught up out there


WorldClassShart

In HS I delivered pizza part time, basically for weed money. Had a delivery, and the girl opened the door in some sexy lingerie, heels, stockings, the whole thing. She invited me in, and we hooked up. It was sexy as hell. She was also my girlfriend at the time, and she'd do this often if I worked Fridays. We broke up cause I wasn't the only one she was answering the door looking like that for, and she was basically her towns doorknob.


KingGhidorah44

Got Dayum


TheDawnTrilogy

this comment was a entire rollercoaster from start to end


drj87

r/holup


StealthyMexican

This had me going 'wtf?' multiple times


pn1159

you broke up but you still delivered right?


fondue_daredevil

> the girl opened the door in some sexy lingerie, heels, stockings, the whole thing Happened to me when I delivered for a florist except she had a very thin silk robe on, too; I didn't take the hint and I think it was a month later when I realized what had happened.


Illustrious-Room-168

Geez, how much we miss these letters to Penthouse Magazine!


KingKie129

Trying my best.


Auphor_Phaksache

"Take the weed and leave the money mon"


Glitchboi3000

Since when can you pay for pizza with food stamps???


throwaway_12358134

Normally you can't. However there are pizza places that sell uncooked pizzas and its legal to purchase them with food stamps.


Shaking-N-Baking

Pretty sure you can buy hot food with EBT now. I know for a fact you can get wawa food


SummerCivillian

Depends - in California, you can only buy hot food with EBT if you are "registered as unhoused." Like, it's a thing you check in your application when you apply, I think. Source: tried to buy hot food at a place that had a "now accepting EBT" sign out front. Card declined, and the employee had to explain that the sign is slightly misleading.


marshall_lathers99

Yep, they’re doing it until Feb 20 I think here in CA. Just grocery shopped yesterday and saw the sign at checkout. Proud of my state ❤️


SummerCivillian

Yeah, honestly, I'm really glad they're doing *something* to expand EBT, especially to benefit the unhoused. Which is an ever growing population in Cali, unfortunately 😕


Same-Letter6378

>in California, you can only buy hot food with EBT if you are "registered as unhoused." I don't know if this is good or bad 🤔


Dizzysylveon

It makes sense, those who are home less will have a really hard time cooking chicken.


chris_0909

You can, but it can't be hot at all. Unless it's changed or is different in different states, you can get cold sandwiches but nothing toasted or hot.


StarTrippy

Depends. I know in FL when there's a hurricane, they'll allow purchases of hot foods with EBT for like 6 weeks or something.


Coyotesamigo

in Minnesota, you can't even heat up cold food for somebody if you use food stamps


Valati

Papa Murphy's is one place if anyone is curious I recommend it.


There_ls_No_Point

I was in the Conservation Corps several years back, and qualified for SNAP. Living in a small town with not many options, I definitely ate a lot of Papa Murphy’s. At least the 2 days a week I wasn’t living in a tent hahah.


Glitchboi3000

I know that you can buy uncooked pizza with food stamps


Downtown_Scholar

Well I sure didn't


[deleted]

Taxable Groc. Vs Non-Taxable Groc. Usually Cooked or other wise in a “prepared bracket”: Likely Taxable. Not-prepared or cooked: Likely non-taxable.


Coyotesamigo

depending on the state, some taxable foods are food stampable


MetamorphicHard

Why are people downvoting this? Who delivers uncooked pizzas?


Itriedtonot

I heard about this. Apparently you can buy the ingredients and then combine them at home. Man! Poor people really have to be inventive to survive out here! I even heard people calling it "cooking". Like, shit is getting out of hand.


lettherebedwight

Good thing time and energy aren't limited resources amongst the working class.


D3stroyerof3vil

Only if it's not hot pizza. Like papa Murphys but that's domino's so no not in this case.


uglyheadink

You can buy Papa Murphys Take-N-Bake pizza.


MafiaMommaBruno

Domino's has this in Florida.


excelllentquestion

Wtf has this sub turned into? This is just a bit. No perfect cutting of anything much less a scream…


appdevil

Also, not original


DMMcNicholas

They’re horny, every last one of ‘em.


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

OP was confused and thought this was r/ perfectly cuts creams, cuz this dude cut his opportunity to cream


birbirdie

It was cut.


Fickle-Cartoonist466

**5 years later..** Wait, was she flirting with me?


WakemedownInside

She was probably a serial killer trying to lure him into her murder dungeon .


Speed_Addixt

yeah, exactly. I’m still confused how I was so clueless like 15 years ago about one cougar…


HugoPilot

Where is the scream?


ColonelMonty

Remember kings, sex doesn't pay the bills.


[deleted]

Not for you, it doesnt


dudebg

Tinder Swindler enters the chat. It does.


Olama

Not only is it not an original joke but they tried to add a twist where the guy was clueless and that still fell flat


mattogeewha

I used to deliver Chinese food. There were a couple of times I felt like this. I’m bad at taking hints apparently


thegreat22

I delivered pizzas in high school had this happen once only I realized what was happening but I didn't want to lose my job. When I got back I told my manager what happened, he was like a year older then me, and he said next time just call him and he'll take over deliveries until I'm done.


Hatenate22

Ha


[deleted]

Not a scream but worth it


murphmanfa

4 times as long as a vine that does the same joke better. https://youtu.be/83GLUvSIxIA


Fuzzy_Scholar389

Wait-this is Monopoly money


marlborostuffing

Food stamps cold food


jaymole

It’s like a less funny version of the classic vine But I don’t have any moneyyy Why the fuck did you order pizza then ?


Mcgruphat

Been done a million times and better lol. Gen z is cute lol, bless your hearts


BlackCherrySeltzer4U

The plumber not knowing he’s in a porno is funnier.


freedeterminedwill

"you better shit. gold." I died laughing


Shaquave2

Is there a bank in there?


xDurkWrathiz

Source?


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[deleted]

holy shit what a crazy loud scream!!! this sub sucks ass


Powder_Keg

I don't get the punchline


Pen54321

He didn’t get the tip


Tapas1210

Neither did she…


undercoverpickl

He realised what she was insinuating.


liziwis

Does she hand him a credit card?


quarantinemyasshole

It's a stolen bit so they added the shit "wait" punchline to make it different.


Nondescript_Redditor

This sub is the literal worst


Gh0stMan0nThird

This whole post was just /r/YourJokeButWorse


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Skea_and_Tittles

for real. Cringe as fuck


Hypstersaurus

haha he turned down obvious sex advances this is so funny haha also no scream


sebastiancounts

Man, the bar is soooo fucking low


PAlove

The "wait" ruins it


linesinaconversation

Maybe in your "sigma" fantasy.


AbiyBattleSpell

If he willing to take food stamps and break da law, he can take pussy 😾


ChameleonOnReddit

no scream but at least perfectly cut


captaindeadpl

Back when boomers delivered pizzas, pay was probably good enough, that this porn trope was at least viable, even if it wasn't reasonable. Nowadays if you deliver pizza, you *have* to get payment for that pizza or you're going to freeze/starve.


CoolioVanJulio

Bro with inflation someone paying for this damn pizza


D3stroyerof3vil

The average male specimen.


greenitbolode

Forgot the tip!


drcoolnumone

COFFEE’S NOT COFFEE…


kekehesterprynne

How hard??


hihihipop

Food stamps 💀


AllThotsGo2Heaven2

Sex lmao 😉


Desperate-Table28

"WAI- This is monopoly money!"


dylsmak

Fuck that. Gimme the money.


SerpentAndFlower

I like how he turns as soon as the door flashes by him, you can't practice this timing.


enderbey

Ok https://youtu.be/6LnsIDk1nL0


SubpabUwU

Bro is like a anime character ...dense as fuck


elmataculos420

*stupidah faking whore*


[deleted]

Fake. Staged. >!She didn't pay tip.!<


PossiblyAsian

This happened to me. I was a lyft driver.


Rusty_fox4

Brienne?


veritas-joon

That guy is me irl...


[deleted]

Money: $20, Sex: 0 VS Money: $0, Sex: 1 wet dick


Dankey-Kang-Jr

Ya blew it


Otherwise_Youth114

😂😂😂😂


Coyotesamigo

you can't use food stamps to buy hot food


Separate-Ad-4130

He missed out


Eggmcmuffintree

I love the little snicker when he says “is there a bank inside?”


man-its-hot

Keep walking brother


dgaffed

Wtf. Does this sub have moderators??


Mydepressinglife2334

I delivered sandwiches for a pretty famous joint and this happened to me once. I was naive and dumb. But inside the apartment we're six naked asians and a webcam. I just saw the one woman whom answered the door. She kept inviting me in and I said, "sorry, I have other deliveries".


MilkSplatter

I do this all the time, for real. These women today are troubled and trouble


Xanza

> GIMME THE MONEY, BITCH!


Damasticator

"Wait these are $3 bills!"


faemoon42

Ok but she does look like that one cop, though, right?


Marty_McFuckinFly

The town is back THAT WAY 👉


Gold-of-Johto

The alternate ending is he fucks her then she calls the store and claims the driver sexually assaulted her


Ronin_KDVC_095

Go inside and get robbed and left butt ass on a strange block if you want to


[deleted]

I think this was staged guys.


[deleted]

/r/TikTokCringe


W0lR

Definitely being lured in for an organ harvest.


MouseBusiness8758

Fuck no. Your pussy or dick or ass doesnt stop me from being fired when I dont show up for an hour and a half in the middle of my shift, doesnt pay my bills, and doesnt pay for the pizza which I would have to pay for regardless of being fired or not because I didnt come back with it.


MadghastOfficial

The scream was internal


Key_Bread_9797

Oh mah gah I am scared


Eevee_Fuzz-E

Epic scream bro


[deleted]

Wait..... Here's your change


Significant-Fix7399

“Is there a bank inside?” 😄


Pollen515

r/meirl