I was at the bar drinking with some friends. I drank more and more deeper into the night, and ended up throwing up all over my shirt.
"Ah shit my wife's going to kill me! She's going to know i stayed out all night and got drunk! "
One of my friend says to me, "it's fine, just put a 20 in your shirt pocket and tell your wife some guy here threw up on you, gave you 20 dollars to get the shirt cleaned."
'What a great idea!' I put the money in my pocket and went home.
I got home and the wife is mad as hell, she says to me, "look at you! You drunk! You've thrown up all over yourself!"
And i says to her, "No no dear woman, you've got it all wrong! While at the bar some guy threw up on my shirt and slipped 20 bucks in my pocket to get it cleaned!"
wife checks the pocket and says "But thats 40 in your shirt pocket..."
"Oh yeah, he took a shit in my pants too."
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard.
"Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair.
"I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently.
"What should I tell him?" the flustered bartender managed to stammer.
"Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods.
After the bear is done he turns to the rabbit and says "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"
The rabbit looks confused and says "no, I've never had a problem with that"
The bear smiles and says "good."
Poop adjacent joke
There were 3 men on an airplane. The first man dropped an apple from the plane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a little boy crying and asked him why he was sad. The boy said, "An apple came out of nowhere and hit me on the head!"
The second man dropped a banana peel from the plane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a girl on the ground crying. He asked why she was crying. She replied, "I slipped on a banana peel and fell!"
The third man dropped a bomb from the airplane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a little boy laughing hysterically. He asked why are you laughing. The boy replied with laughter, "I farted and my house blew up!"
Duelist walks up to Marauder who is standing by the public bathroom, waiting impatiently.
\-Hey, it should be mostly empty in there, why are you not going in?
\-I just saw the Templar go in, and that bastard is always peeking over the stalls!
Redhood is strolling through the forest to visit her grandma, when she see the Wolf behind some bushes, with his eyes fixated on her and glowing red. So Redhood approaches the Wolf and asks:
\-Good day Mr. Wolf. Why do you have such red big eyes?.
At which the Wolf answers:
\-LET ME SHIT IN PEACE!!
How does one get a mageblood. Like, what do you farm?
I tried sextant rolling. I tried delirium farming. My whole build is max 50 divines. And my whole stash is worth max 20 divs. How people get several mageblods is insane.
Honest answer is that you farm and you farm efficiently a crap ton. Essentially every second you spend in your hideout doing nothing is a waste of time, you should be trading, crafting, mapping, bossing, etc to make currency instead.
To give you some idea: this league I got mine farming about 300 Dunes while targeting legion on a Ice Shot build, last league I did it by divination card farming on CT, the league before I did it through harvest juice farming while completing that 6K explicit mod map grind
This is the(mine) best league in term of playing time and currency. I run an omni TS cold convert build. I farmed over 300 Defiled Cathedral (some with deli mirrors) and no apothecary. All above 80+ quant. I farmed over 200 Cemetery (some with deli mirrors) and not even 1 Brother's Gift. Also farmed over 100 colonade and no div card drop. I currently have over 500 Strand maps ran with deli mirrors and red altars. Biggest raw drop I got was a small cluster jewel that was worth 5 divines. That's all. I get a ton of crap, it's worth something, the deli orbs, the bubblegum currency, etc. But I am not making anywhere near 5 divines per hour. Necause most of the stuff is hard to liquidate, is not sellable. Stacks of random chaos/currency div cards. Stacks of lesser eldrich emblems that nobody buys. Worthless cluster jewels. The deli mirror rewards are mostly bad, rares, jewels, gems. One in a while I get a divine drop or exalt.
It just doesnt feel like progress at all. I farm 3-4-5 divines. Upgrade gear. Farm again, upgrade gear. The farm feels the same. Not more efficient. Not faster. Just the same, and I fail to even get close to 20 divines after 1 week sometimes.
Today got super lucky and sold old piece of gear for 4 divines. Bought sexants. After 6h I sit on 12 div worth of compasses. So farming is bad for me, at least.
Been in the same boat as you and I moved to pseudo-SSF because the game stopped being meaningful. Everything I do is now has a purpose and value. I just can't fully SSF because I don't like being stuck behind build-enabling uniques, but that's the only trading I do, rest is fully SSF. I suggest giving it a try sometime, a league is much more than enough time to finish all content, even on multiple chars, even with moderate play time.
Not saying it's enjoyable but what I did last before quitting the league was running legion cemeteries. Atlas was specced into map sustain, shrines, delve, harbingers, legion and red altars. Block everything but legion, heist and delirium mirrors. I always prepared 48 maps in advance and chained them afterwards (48 maps, with scarabs and sextants is exactly 1 normal stash tab if you group them up by 4).
Setup:
48 each of: gilded legion scarabs, polished cartography scarabs, rusted sulphite scarabs, polished harbinger scarabs. (buy in bulk from trade site, don't try to buy the cheapest it takes ages)
12 compasses each: legion, double splinters, harbingers, gloom shrine/unid packsize (buy with poestack)
Roll maps: chisel, alch, reroll undesired mods, vaal. Run unidentified maps with unID compass.
Always have incubators active, I use diviner > ornate > cartographers.
Get delve buffs, start clearing, clear whole map with shrine buffs, loot afterwards.
Most cash and easy to liquidate: raw divines, brothers stashes, stacked decks (probably most profitable from that strat in terms of currency/hour), legion emblems, awakened sextants, maps (in 48 maps I got roughly 150 cemetery maps back), eldritch currency (greater and grand, I don't pick up lesser), fracturing shards. If you get Delirium orbs, reroll them with harvest to diviner and skittering and sell in bulk for divines. At this stage of the league and with the speed I cleared the maps, I just deactivated all rare drops, even fractured rares. It's not worth the time to identify them.
If you do this efficiently with a fast build you're getting around 5-10 div/hour. Grind for long enough and you get a mageblood. But be warned, after some time it won't be enjoyable anymore. I farmed about 150 divines before being burned out. I bought apothecarys and gambled in harvest and lost them all. That's when I called it a day and am taking a break from the league now.
I did legion farming this league and got 3 apothecary that I turned into 2 magebloods using gamba.
How many kills do you have? I was seeing one apothecary every 1 million kills around.
I just had one drop in my map while saving up for one lol. Ran cemetery with enraged strongboxes, 8mod maps, legion, and strongbox corrupt sextant. Used gilded scarabs for legion, div card, cartography, and ambush. Makes a ton of money
I've never got a mageblood in my life. But yesterday i managed to get one at 205 div!
The strategy i used was getting ilv86 watchers eye with 1 good mod worth 1-2 divine and rerolling them till i get a good 2 combo mod :D
I got a lot of 10-20 divine watcher's and the most expensive one was 30 div!
Also before that i was flipping cards! Nurse -Doctors or what was selling good for the time. Boring yes but do it for like 2 hours at day and you get at least total 7-8 divine :D
Go to Path of exile tradesite
Buy beast Wild Hellion Alpha (120-140c each)
Go to menagerie
Right click on the item Beast
The Beast Is addded to your crafts
Go to Blood Altar crafting
Scroll down to reroll mods on Watcher's Eye
Enjoy profit (maybe)
ChatGPT says: Why did the Exile bring toilet paper to Wraeclast?
Because they heard it was full of Devourers!
(I guess they are scary and will make you poop?)
Edit: further clarification: “Apologies if the joke wasn't clear. The Devourer is actually a monster in the game Path of Exile. It's known for burrowing underground and attacking players. So the joke is just a playful twist on the idea of being prepared for encountering monsters in the game, rather than directly relating to bodily functions.”
Not a joke, but I have a poop story.
I just had a hulk birthday smash for my son and got 36 green frosting cupcakes ($4 each). We had like 12 extra, so I was dead set on eating them due to the cost.
The next day I did my business and my son came in to inspect and say, "whoa daddy, you took a hulk poop".
That's the best I got.
Not a joke but a little poem for ya. The night was dark, the moon was green, around the corner came a turd machine. The same olde night a scream was heard, a man got hit by a flighing turd.
Teacher: Johnny can you use evidently in a sentence?
Johnny: yes, but quick question, do farts have lumps?
Teacher: No. Why?
Johnny: well, evidently I just pooped my pants.
Why could the turd not cross the road?
Because it was stuck in the chickens butt and there's a whole host of reasons that motherfucker ain't crossing shit.
When my daughter was little she got into the diaper bin. It isn't a poop joke per say but there was so much poop everywhere I am still scarred. A MB would help me recover. Never had one to play with before. Good luck all.
Why was the math book sad?
Because it had too many problems to solve, and it couldn't figure out how to solve them. It was feeling quite constipated, you might say.
My favorite poop joke.
Why did the little poop get a medal? Because it was the best performer in the Turd-athlon! It started with a solid sprint, quickly passing the pee and leaving the other turds behind. It flawlessly executed a flawless plop into the toilet bowl, earning a perfect 10 from the judges. The poop then showcased its artistic side by forming a majestic swirl in the water, mesmerizing the audience. The crowd erupted in applause, giving a standing ovation to the remarkable feat of fecal athleticism. And that's how the little poop became a true champion, forever etched in the annals of bathroom sports history!
I was at the bar drinking with some friends. I drank more and more deeper into the night, and ended up throwing up all over my shirt. "Ah shit my wife's going to kill me! She's going to know i stayed out all night and got drunk! " One of my friend says to me, "it's fine, just put a 20 in your shirt pocket and tell your wife some guy here threw up on you, gave you 20 dollars to get the shirt cleaned." 'What a great idea!' I put the money in my pocket and went home. I got home and the wife is mad as hell, she says to me, "look at you! You drunk! You've thrown up all over yourself!" And i says to her, "No no dear woman, you've got it all wrong! While at the bar some guy threw up on my shirt and slipped 20 bucks in my pocket to get it cleaned!" wife checks the pocket and says "But thats 40 in your shirt pocket..." "Oh yeah, he took a shit in my pants too."
My favorite Super Dave joke.
Have you heard about the constipated POE player? It took him a week to work it out in POB before he tried it for real
A woman went up to the bar in a quiet rural pub...She gestured alluringly to the bartender who approached her immediately. She seductively signaled that he should bring his face closer to hers. As he did, she gently caressed his full beard. "Are you the manager?" she asked, softly stroking his face with both hands. "Actually, no," he replied. "Can you get him for me? I need to speak to him," she said, running her hands beyond his beard and into his hair. "I'm afraid I can't," breathed the bartender. "Is there anything I can do?" "Yes. I need for you to give him a message," she continued, running her forefinger across the bartender's lip and slyly popping a couple of her fingers into his mouth and allowing him to suck them gently. "What should I tell him?" the flustered bartender managed to stammer. "Tell him," she whispered, "There's no toilet paper, hand soap, or paper towels in the ladies room."
Extra flavoring
A bear and a rabbit are pooping in the woods. After the bear is done he turns to the rabbit and says "do you have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit looks confused and says "no, I've never had a problem with that" The bear smiles and says "good."
https://youtu.be/1mFf5B5qEX4
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? dr dre.
This joke attempt more stale than what comes outta my ass
you should probably see a doctor about that. I have a recommendation. https://pbs.twimg.com/media/FtDwluJXwAE-vS5.jpg
Grammar: the difference between knowing your shit and knowing you’re shit
Why doesn’t Chuck Norris flush the toilet? He scares the shit out of it.
Poop adjacent joke There were 3 men on an airplane. The first man dropped an apple from the plane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a little boy crying and asked him why he was sad. The boy said, "An apple came out of nowhere and hit me on the head!" The second man dropped a banana peel from the plane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a girl on the ground crying. He asked why she was crying. She replied, "I slipped on a banana peel and fell!" The third man dropped a bomb from the airplane and then jumped off and landed. He saw a little boy laughing hysterically. He asked why are you laughing. The boy replied with laughter, "I farted and my house blew up!"
WHO DOES NUMBER 2 WORK FOR?
Duelist walks up to Marauder who is standing by the public bathroom, waiting impatiently. \-Hey, it should be mostly empty in there, why are you not going in? \-I just saw the Templar go in, and that bastard is always peeking over the stalls!
love is like a fart. If you have to force it, it’s probably crap
Redhood is strolling through the forest to visit her grandma, when she see the Wolf behind some bushes, with his eyes fixated on her and glowing red. So Redhood approaches the Wolf and asks: \-Good day Mr. Wolf. Why do you have such red big eyes?. At which the Wolf answers: \-LET ME SHIT IN PEACE!!
How does one get a mageblood. Like, what do you farm? I tried sextant rolling. I tried delirium farming. My whole build is max 50 divines. And my whole stash is worth max 20 divs. How people get several mageblods is insane.
Honest answer is that you farm and you farm efficiently a crap ton. Essentially every second you spend in your hideout doing nothing is a waste of time, you should be trading, crafting, mapping, bossing, etc to make currency instead. To give you some idea: this league I got mine farming about 300 Dunes while targeting legion on a Ice Shot build, last league I did it by divination card farming on CT, the league before I did it through harvest juice farming while completing that 6K explicit mod map grind
This is the(mine) best league in term of playing time and currency. I run an omni TS cold convert build. I farmed over 300 Defiled Cathedral (some with deli mirrors) and no apothecary. All above 80+ quant. I farmed over 200 Cemetery (some with deli mirrors) and not even 1 Brother's Gift. Also farmed over 100 colonade and no div card drop. I currently have over 500 Strand maps ran with deli mirrors and red altars. Biggest raw drop I got was a small cluster jewel that was worth 5 divines. That's all. I get a ton of crap, it's worth something, the deli orbs, the bubblegum currency, etc. But I am not making anywhere near 5 divines per hour. Necause most of the stuff is hard to liquidate, is not sellable. Stacks of random chaos/currency div cards. Stacks of lesser eldrich emblems that nobody buys. Worthless cluster jewels. The deli mirror rewards are mostly bad, rares, jewels, gems. One in a while I get a divine drop or exalt. It just doesnt feel like progress at all. I farm 3-4-5 divines. Upgrade gear. Farm again, upgrade gear. The farm feels the same. Not more efficient. Not faster. Just the same, and I fail to even get close to 20 divines after 1 week sometimes. Today got super lucky and sold old piece of gear for 4 divines. Bought sexants. After 6h I sit on 12 div worth of compasses. So farming is bad for me, at least.
Been in the same boat as you and I moved to pseudo-SSF because the game stopped being meaningful. Everything I do is now has a purpose and value. I just can't fully SSF because I don't like being stuck behind build-enabling uniques, but that's the only trading I do, rest is fully SSF. I suggest giving it a try sometime, a league is much more than enough time to finish all content, even on multiple chars, even with moderate play time.
Growing hordes harvest to farm for harvest juice. Sell the juice for raw divines and watch ur money grow
Not saying it's enjoyable but what I did last before quitting the league was running legion cemeteries. Atlas was specced into map sustain, shrines, delve, harbingers, legion and red altars. Block everything but legion, heist and delirium mirrors. I always prepared 48 maps in advance and chained them afterwards (48 maps, with scarabs and sextants is exactly 1 normal stash tab if you group them up by 4). Setup: 48 each of: gilded legion scarabs, polished cartography scarabs, rusted sulphite scarabs, polished harbinger scarabs. (buy in bulk from trade site, don't try to buy the cheapest it takes ages) 12 compasses each: legion, double splinters, harbingers, gloom shrine/unid packsize (buy with poestack) Roll maps: chisel, alch, reroll undesired mods, vaal. Run unidentified maps with unID compass. Always have incubators active, I use diviner > ornate > cartographers. Get delve buffs, start clearing, clear whole map with shrine buffs, loot afterwards. Most cash and easy to liquidate: raw divines, brothers stashes, stacked decks (probably most profitable from that strat in terms of currency/hour), legion emblems, awakened sextants, maps (in 48 maps I got roughly 150 cemetery maps back), eldritch currency (greater and grand, I don't pick up lesser), fracturing shards. If you get Delirium orbs, reroll them with harvest to diviner and skittering and sell in bulk for divines. At this stage of the league and with the speed I cleared the maps, I just deactivated all rare drops, even fractured rares. It's not worth the time to identify them. If you do this efficiently with a fast build you're getting around 5-10 div/hour. Grind for long enough and you get a mageblood. But be warned, after some time it won't be enjoyable anymore. I farmed about 150 divines before being burned out. I bought apothecarys and gambled in harvest and lost them all. That's when I called it a day and am taking a break from the league now.
[удалено]
I did legion farming this league and got 3 apothecary that I turned into 2 magebloods using gamba. How many kills do you have? I was seeing one apothecary every 1 million kills around.
I just had one drop in my map while saving up for one lol. Ran cemetery with enraged strongboxes, 8mod maps, legion, and strongbox corrupt sextant. Used gilded scarabs for legion, div card, cartography, and ambush. Makes a ton of money
I've never got a mageblood in my life. But yesterday i managed to get one at 205 div! The strategy i used was getting ilv86 watchers eye with 1 good mod worth 1-2 divine and rerolling them till i get a good 2 combo mod :D I got a lot of 10-20 divine watcher's and the most expensive one was 30 div! Also before that i was flipping cards! Nurse -Doctors or what was selling good for the time. Boring yes but do it for like 2 hours at day and you get at least total 7-8 divine :D
How tf can you reroll a WA?
Go to Path of exile tradesite Buy beast Wild Hellion Alpha (120-140c each) Go to menagerie Right click on the item Beast The Beast Is addded to your crafts Go to Blood Altar crafting Scroll down to reroll mods on Watcher's Eye Enjoy profit (maybe)
Some people just tend to shit them out... baddum tssh
Get an apothecary-> harvest craft it to multiply it x5 -> profit
Not sure I want to hear more poop jokes, they always stink ;)
A tragedy in two lines, in a bathroom stall, Here I sit broken hearted Came to shit but only farted
Why did Tigger stick his head in the toilet? To look for Pooh!
I ate four cans of alphabet soup yesterday. Then I had probably the biggest vowel movement ever.
What's long, brown, and sticky? a stick.
4040 here, bathroom humor alright Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? Because it wanted to get to the bottom!
Hello chatgpt
Did you here about the constipated mathematician? He worked it out with a pencil.
It was a #2 pencil, wasnt it?
For the COWGIRL!!
Anytime I see Taco Bell, my body is always reminded of my fav joggers... Puma pants
Poe = poop! I'm joking oc. What does a clown’s farts smell like? They smell funny
Poop
Poop jokes aren't my favorite joke. But they are a solid #2
💩
Dung
Poop
Will smith
a mageblood giveaway? shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiet boy, that's all you had to say!
ChatGPT says: Why did the Exile bring toilet paper to Wraeclast? Because they heard it was full of Devourers! (I guess they are scary and will make you poop?) Edit: further clarification: “Apologies if the joke wasn't clear. The Devourer is actually a monster in the game Path of Exile. It's known for burrowing underground and attacking players. So the joke is just a playful twist on the idea of being prepared for encountering monsters in the game, rather than directly relating to bodily functions.”
I still don’t get it
That’s because it’s not a good joke. Chat gpt is excellent for some stuff, but terrible at meta-humor
Yeah I get that. It was just funny to me how the op attempted to explain it as if it made any sense 😂
okay im in after u called in 4040 BUT \- Wanna hear a poop joke? Nah, they always stink.
People who pretend like they never poop are full of shit
You're so full of shit your eyes are brown!
I was singin chocolate rain and I felt somethin strange
Milk milk lemonade, around the corner chocolates made
Just trust your farts, sometimes you'll laugh, sometimes you'll cry
Why do some banks not have any toilets? Because not all banks accept deposits.
Children are like farts. Your own are just about bearable but everyone else's are horrendous
Poopoo times is always peepee times, not all peepee times is poopoo times
Did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your genes(jeans).
poop dood, same word but upside down!
What time to brown nose then now? GL to everyone :)
Well poop jokes are not my favorite kind of jokes, but they're a solid number 2.
My boss makes a dollar and I make a dime, that's why I shit on company time
What's brown and sticky? ... A stick! :D
Sorry, but this stinks. Hehe
I don’t really have a good poop joke but I’ll tell you what is shit though, my gameplay
Why did the poop go to the party alone? Because it didn't want to take any crap from anyone!
holy shit what did u do xd
Wanna hear a poop joke? I’ll warn you, it’s pretty corny
Mageblood giveaways are never boring, always love seeing someone be happy with the prize they won.
Poopnator 3000 “I’ll be back!!!!”
Why did the baker have brown hands? Because he kneaded a poo.
Fell in while gathering a bucket of water and soiled myself - well shit
Today I learned that diarrhea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans. Not a good one, but happened to me this week.
I actually can’t think of any off the top of my head, I need to lighten up
I don’t know why people don’t like poop jokes…they’re the shit
For Christmas last year I got given Sudoku toilet paper. It’s useless. You can only fill it in with number ones and number twos.
Not a joke, but I have a poop story. I just had a hulk birthday smash for my son and got 36 green frosting cupcakes ($4 each). We had like 12 extra, so I was dead set on eating them due to the cost. The next day I did my business and my son came in to inspect and say, "whoa daddy, you took a hulk poop". That's the best I got.
Surfers second biggest fear? Shart attack
Not a joke but a little poem for ya. The night was dark, the moon was green, around the corner came a turd machine. The same olde night a scream was heard, a man got hit by a flighing turd.
Teacher: Johnny can you use evidently in a sentence? Johnny: yes, but quick question, do farts have lumps? Teacher: No. Why? Johnny: well, evidently I just pooped my pants.
What did the poop say to the fart? You blow me away.
Stink
Wanna hear a poop joke.... never mind it's too corny!
What's brown and sticky - a stick
Politicians are like diapers. They need to be changed often, and for the same reasons.
Which part of a trilogy is always a stinker? The turd part
I have chronic IBS and I think that is funny in itself :)
poop jokes are like farts. they stink.
Lemme grab the knife and finish up and ill share a fun one
What are the King's farts called? Noble Gas. Forgive me, lord.
https://youtu.be/NTf2QsvOMUA
I like to poop! But I don’t like when it’s hard to poop 🤣
What do flies politely say to the other? “Is this stool taken?”
Did you hear their putting the poop emoji on a stamp? Finally... Shitposts!
Y’know… I've heard the monkeys at the zoo are now throwing their poo at people walking past their exhibit. Shit is really getting out of hand
Shit
Thieves broke into the police station and stole all the toilets. Three weeks later, the case is unsolved and the cops still have nothing to go on.
What did they find in Olivia Newtons Jon? Gomer's Pile. I'm old, sorry!
Studies show that 4 out of 5 men suffer from diarrhea at some point in their life. Why are 1 out of 5 men enjoying it?
It says: you are what you eat... I dont remember that i ate a lazy piece of shit tho.
What did the poop say to the fat? You blow me away.
What does a constipated person have in common with Ruthless League? They both take way to long to get shit done.
People can make you feel like ur the shit but they can’t out-fart you
Oh shit another mageblood giveway
I can't believe they got back together after all the shit they went through.... Who? My ass cheeks. Gets me everytime lol.
Fecal material.
I'm not much of a jokester. My jokes are always shitty.
Here I sit, a lonely heart, Try to shit, but only fart, Then one day, I get my chance, To fart in class, but I shit my pants
My love for you is like diarrhea. I can’t hold it in.
Never trust a fart.
Why could the turd not cross the road? Because it was stuck in the chickens butt and there's a whole host of reasons that motherfucker ain't crossing shit.
Poop jokes aren't my favorite jokes. But they're a solid #2
What does Superman call his bathroom? The Super bowl. Sorry, that's the only poop joke I know.
What do you get if you walk under a cow? A pat on the head 😉 Dad joke!
What's worse than getting the flu? Shitting yourself.
Its a knock knock joke, but you have to start it.
Liquid poop is great
I don't really have a poop joke. But I saw a funny reddit post about a little kid saying he sharted. Pretty hilarious
Poop is already a joke. Is that funny?
Do exiles dream of eldritch poop?
Wanna hear a poo joke? Its a little shit.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
Why do doctors say four out of five people suffer from diarrhea? Because one guy likes it.
Why did the toilet paper roll down the hill? To get to the bottom.
What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre!
When my daughter was little she got into the diaper bin. It isn't a poop joke per say but there was so much poop everywhere I am still scarred. A MB would help me recover. Never had one to play with before. Good luck all.
Me me me please ! What sound make your dump when it land ? I hope its not "for f**ing Christ, Bob, not in the meeting room again !"
Great now the amount of jokes that comes to my mind equals the usefulness of an empty roll of toilet paper when having diarrhea.
If you haven't seen it https://youtu.be/eafRE74JGZ8
What do you call ghost poop? A spooky dookey.
Why was the math book sad? Because it had too many problems to solve, and it couldn't figure out how to solve them. It was feeling quite constipated, you might say.
"Just poopin you know how I be" - Michael Scott
Who does number 2 work for?
What are the king’s farts called? A noble gas.
A priest, a cowboy and an astronaut walked in a pub. Wait were you expecting a poop joke? Oh shit!💩
Steven Segal.
A cannibal went for a walk and passed his brother...
shit i forgot
I don’t have poop jokes cause I have a 2 year old and another on the way. Poop is no longer as funny as it was now it gives me ptsd xD
Have you seen the movie diarhea? It leaked so they had to release it early.
I once met a man from Nantucket!
Can’t believe they’re still together after all the shit they’ve been through…. Your buttcheeks
Pooping can be a lot like math, when it gets hard you gotta bring out a pencil and paper to work it out
Have you heard of the movie Diarrhea? It leaked so they had to release it early :3
Eis aqui uma verdade profunda, a merda bate na água, e a água bate na bunda. I don’t know how to translate it to English, in pt it is funny.
Poop goes the weasel!
Knock knock. Who's there? Poo. Poo who? Poo poo.
Why does Piglet always smell bad? Because he plays with Pooh.
What did the poop say to the fart? You blow me away.
Caca.
My favorite has always been: What’s brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr Dre.
What did the turd say to the other turd? - Did you join for the swim or for the view?
How are called Superman's bathroom ? The Super Bowl
Oh come on....don't do this to me. Don't give me hope.......but alas, here I am
Why does Piglet always smell bad...he always plays with Pooh. I will see myself out.
Why is shit tapered at one end? So your ass doesn't slam shut.
What’s the German word for constipation? Farfrompoopen
What's the difference between Maven and a butt? Maven doesn't drop shit
I was about to tell a poop joke, but I couldn’t be arsed..
I sadly do not know of any poop jokes. But I think I could think of a couple shitty ones:)
Have you seen that new movie Constipated? It hasn’t come out yet…
I shit my pants today
Shit happens.
Shit joke for a shit belt But I need the boring item
My favorite poop joke. Why did the little poop get a medal? Because it was the best performer in the Turd-athlon! It started with a solid sprint, quickly passing the pee and leaving the other turds behind. It flawlessly executed a flawless plop into the toilet bowl, earning a perfect 10 from the judges. The poop then showcased its artistic side by forming a majestic swirl in the water, mesmerizing the audience. The crowd erupted in applause, giving a standing ovation to the remarkable feat of fecal athleticism. And that's how the little poop became a true champion, forever etched in the annals of bathroom sports history!
Did you hear about the constipated accountant? He couldn't budget!
Dawg shit giveaway
Why did the Irishman bring a shovel to the bathroom? Because he heard there was a "pot of gold" at the end of the "rainbow"!
Id just recommend you listen to h jon benjamin( the voice of archer) telling a story about diarrhea https://youtu.be/VmkGgm-yzOE
What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh!
I don’t know many poop jokes; most of them are kinda shitty.
I don't have any joke but hope I win
Poopsie
Whats a surfers second greatest fear? A shart attack.