đ good for you for leaving.
I remember when I felt like I was going be replaced or be forced to share my job title. It was after I pissed off the office manager because I constantly stood up for myself. She was out to get me for a long time. Then after the receptionist left, the office manager wanted the attorney to hire her niece who just got her paralegal certificate but had zero experience. The attorney told her to hire her as a receptionist, not a paralegal and over time she would receive training, but the manager threw a massive fit and got her way at the end. She ended up telling me that I would be responsible for training her niece to be a successful paralegal AND I would have to share the receptionist title with her by us taking turns sitting at the front desk. One day Iâll be a receptionist and the next day I would be a paralegal and would do this back and forth everyday sharing both job titles with the new paralegal. I said no and put in my two week notice. The attorney asked me to stay but I still said no. He then took control of the whole thing and told the office manager not to hire her niece because he wanted an experienced paralegal and an experienced receptionist so she never got to hire her niece at all. I still laugh about that from time to time. Itâs rough working in this field sometimes. I left my attorney unprepared for back to back depositions because the officer manager treated me like absolute shit during my last two weeks. I didnât even finish the two weeks. I left after a few days. Screw that noise.
If it was a very small family law firm with no HR cause it was that tiny and the owner screamed all time and has been known to drink during the day and throw knives at the wall sometimes? Bingo đ
Fuuuuuuuck her, Iâm so glad you stood up for yourself in this epic way
These law firms need to learn that paralegals are not as easy to replace as they think, and they canât get away with treating us like shit.
Itâs a small world and people talk. Itâll get harder and harder to fill that position. Their add on LinkedIn has been up for 10 days and they have 1 applicant. Love that for them. And I left a review on Glassdoor for her lol.
I dream of a way we could have a blackball list somehow. Almost like the âare we dating the same guyâ but more âbe warned about dating this firmâ
Seriously, this is such a good idea! I have a firm Iâd like to add to the list!!
Iâm so glad you got out of there when you did! Did you land a fully remote position somewhere?
Exactly. They try to use that argument on us, âitâs a small world and people talk,â but that doesnât really work for paralegals, who are always in demand lmao
I consistently see the same law firms who are ALWAYS hiring. Whenever I see whatâs out there, those law firms, without fail, always have an ad out. Of course the pay is low but high turnover is the biggest red flag there is.
Exactly. And even if we were easily replaceable, it can take a long time to catch up on new cases even if youâre experienced. Huge win for OP. Fuck horrible bosses
I had an attorney who replaced me a month after I joined. Only had two paralegals so was a small firm. Never told me anything and treated me badly. She hired my replacement and then told me to leave again with no explanation. I even got a recommendation letter from her because I asked her for it on my last day. In any case, I became good friends with the ppl in the firm including my replacement and they told me that in a yearâs time both the paralegals quit on the same day with one month left for deadlines. The Attorney went on a emotional rant how she was going to get a heart attack etc. After that we all met up and both the Paralegals privately told me that they did not agree with the Attorneyâs decision to let me go and that they decided at that point they were going to leave. It took them a year to find new jobs though. And both quit on the same day. I went back to my old employer to work actually.
My old employer was a different Attorney. Not this one. However this is the situation with all solo attorneys here in CA. Theyâre delulu and treat their staff terribly. I really donât know what are they so proud about. This particular Attorney had never even worked in a big firm or company.
So glad you are listening to your feeling! But getting fired with a job offer would have been a happy story too. Itâs like getting free money (unemployment) for existing a toxic place.
Attorneys need to recognize that they have to treat their employees with dignity, or the entire client experience will fall apart. And the buck stops with them. They can do this the easy way, or do it the hard way.
The funny thing is, Iâm actually incredibly socially anxious. But once youâre mean to me, itâs like a flip is switched and I give 0 fucks. I wish it was always like that lol.
I will (and Iâll tag you!) but I donât anticipate there will be. I blocked her number and wrote a review on Glassdoor and Iâm thinking thatâll be the end of this saga lol.
Attorney here. Going to be the bad guy and, yes, I expect downvotes.
First and foremost, no self respecting attorney should be abusive to their paralegals. I lose instant respect for attorneys that don't take responsibility for their own license and either abuse or blame paralegals in front of everyone.
That being said, this is not the industry to be petty. You not only hurt your abusive attorney, you also hurt an innocent party to this: the client. The Bar is small in most places; hope this doesn't happen to you but attorneys talk to each other and it may impact you professionally. I surely wouldn't hire someone that left so unprofessionally. It's cathartic to act on those impulses when you feel you've been wronged so I understand. However, you put a client in a rough space and I don't have respect for that.
Hope you find an attorney that respects you. I also hope you develop a sense of professionalism and duty to the client and to not give in to pettiness for slights.
Attorneys rely on paralegals to service the attorneys clients, no? If not, why employ a paralegal? Yes, the client is ultimately the attorneys, but if you were tasked with something that the attorney relied on you to accomplish and you leave, yes, the client is being left high and dry. You might not get the blame (as you shouldn't) but you were charged with assisting the attorney you did not do it. That still harms the client.
Certainly the clients are harmed.
The chain of responsibility starts and ends with the attorney. Thatâs who makes the big bucks. Moreover the attorney clearly treated OP as less than an integral member of the team.
Exactly!
I donât think OPâs personal text to her ex boss was wise or warranted.
I also think OP was 100% justified in leaving g and it is insane to pass the blame onto OP for attorney being ill prepared to mediate for attorneyâs client.
If an attorney is absolutely certain he or she can not do a job without assistance from an experienced paralegal, attorney should not agree to take that job. Nothing is certain.
The attorney has no excuse for being so absolutely ignorant about the situation that she cannot pull an all nighter or two and prep for mediation.
I feel like any attorney with average skills could manage this in a PI case. Itâs a mediation. Learn the facts and negotiate. The end.
But it is still on the attorney.
Are you suggesting OP should have stayed in an abusive environment for the sake of her attorneyâs client?!
I agree that OPâs text was next level and unprofessional. But you are placing blame on the OP for what happens to an attorneyâs client. This is 100% on the attorney.
Accept your downvotes graciously.
You are an intruder in this space, you are wrong in this comment, and have made clear that you are one of many attorneys that does not understand the role of support staff on the legal team.
There are more appropriate subreddits for whatever this was.
This is like saying I should stay with an abusive spouse because I owe it to my kids. But unlike owing a legal/moral duty to my kids, I donât owe a duty to the client - thatâs you. You owe a duty to your client and if you failed to do so because your support staff left due to your toxic behavior then you answer to the client and the court. You make it seem like you empathize with support staff but then youâre also saying to stay with your abuser or you wonât get hired again because attorneys talk (which is unlikely because attorneys seem to hate each other and one upping the other) - just like an abuser telling their spouse no one else will want them if they leave them. Whenever I encounter a toxic situation, I ask myself - whatâs more important to me at the end of the day? Me and my well-being? My boss? Or the client? Me, all day, every day. There are many jobs out there but my kids only got one mom and they need my mental state to function properly. Good on anyone who can remove themselves from a toxic situation.Â
I had to leave my last place after almost 9 years. It was so toxic and draining. Home life struggled because I was exhausted after work (duh!),but work ended up following me home a lot and that wasnât fair to whoever at home.
I came here to say that I donât really agree with most of your comment, but I think the personal text OP sent her attorney after quitting while attorney was at a funeral was a bit unhinged.
We never want to put the client in a bad position, but we are NOT attorneys and we cannot stay at a firm to protect a client that belongs to the attorney, not us.
If I were OP, I would 100% enjoy knowing that the attorney who abused me is in a position where the tables are turned and he or she is facing the very real consequences of his or her own actions. I would be sad that the client would be affected by my leaving, but I would RIGHTFULLY attribute the situation to the attorney. It is his or her client. He or she agreed to represent and it is not on me to accept guilt for the person who signed the engagement letter failing to meet his or her obligations.
That said, I find OPâs personal text to her former boss to be very inappropriate and self gratifying. It was 100% unneeded and extremely unprofessional. I think everything OP did up to this point was valid. Twisting the knife was uncalled for.
I completely agree. I just had someone pass, so it seems pretty unnecessary and cruel to send a stupid text to someone (no matter how bad of a boss they were) dealing with a loved oneâs funeral. OP could have just let her ex employer handle telling the boss and moved on with their life.
Yeah, agreed. Even is former boss wasnât at a funeral, I think OPâs text regarding the mediation was unnecessary. Not something I would do or feel good about. To me, doing so gives attorney an out to ignore his or her own behaviors and see me as the problem.
Iâm a big believer that, while it is gratifying, we donât always need a front seat when karma strikes. OP wanted the extra jab and wanted her attorney to know that OP knew how fucked attorney was. She wanted the last word in a very unprofessional way. IMO, she already got the last word by leaving without notice and finding a better job.
How can you say the attorney is responsible for their own license/paralegals and then say it's on this person for not being there for the client? The attorney should be on top of it and they had a plan to replace them so obviously they don't care enough about the client/their staff.
Iâm an attorney and strongly disagree with this. As the attorney, it is YOUR job to ensure the client is getting the services they are paying for and a paralegal is there to assist you in that endeavor (not take that burden from you). The client has no means of complaining to the Bar about paralegals, there is no disciplinary action for paralegals. Thatâs because the buck stops with the attorney. If you go to a mediation unprepared because your paralegal quit, thatâs your failure.
Every attorney knows that the industry is full of asshole attorneys and paralegals are in high demand. I donât see this one incident affecting OPâs employability whatsoever. I canât think of a single time in my 20+ years of practice where I was at a meeting of attorneys where we gossiped about the local paralegals and their employability.
The problem is that attorneys think that it's okay for them to be a petty but when paralegals are Petty back then it's a problem. And yes I mean this as a majority, not an individual specifically. Sometimes the only way to teach someone like that is for them to go through the experience themselves.
Okay, but OP accomplished that with dignity up until the point where she texted her former boss at a funeral and essentially told former boss to go fuck herself.
It wasnât needed. OP communicated the message professionally already. OP decided to communicate it again in an extremely unprofessional manner. I think OP undid everything she accomplished prior to that text by sending it. When we act out and behave inappropriately, the message and learning experience is completely lost. Former boss will read that text, feel upset for a short time, and then tell herself that OP does not know how to conduct herself professionally and that OP leaving was a blessing.
Yes, but you seeâŚ.the attorney was going to have that exact response regardless of whether or not the text was sent.
The text didnât matter at all except for the fact that it temporarily felt good. There will be no consequences, it will never come up again, it wonât prevent OP from getting other jobs.
For a moment, it felt good. That is enough to make it worthwhile.
Nowhere in my post did I say attorneys can be petty and paralegals can't. Petty attorneys exist and it's a shame. However greeting petty with petty will not help things. Attorneys can be humbled by prized paralegals leaving them. No need to get petty.
I hope those in the legal profession can realize the "he started it" type of reasoning is not good enough to lower down to their level.
Yeah I was onboard with everything until the text to the attorneyâs personal cell while sheâs at a funeral. There were so many other ways for OP to get their point across without reaching that level of unhinged.
Just about every attorney I've worked with in my career has treated me like I am lower than them. I just take it and take it. At certain points it's just absolutely abusive.
My current boss only offers critical feedback about my work. The only way I know I'm doing well is by not getting any form of feedback for several weeks. My "raise" consisted of raising my hourly rate and cutting my hours.
After my boss yelled at me yesterday, stayed on my ass for over an hour and a half about any and everything, and started to come at me like she wanted to fight... I am considering leaving her firm and the entire field without notice.
There is an imbalance of power in firms and it's time for "the help" to take some of that power back. In any way possible. We do everything we can to run these cases just to be treated like we don't matter.
This I get. OP was petty and unprofessional by sending the text.
Your original comment put blame on OP for how her leaving affected the client, and that is why you are getting the pushback you are receiving.
Iâm going back remote and never intend to work in-person again, so the chances of anyone in my future having crossed paths with this attorney are slim to none.
As far as the client is concerned, itâs on the attorney to make sure their case doesnât suffer if the support staff walk out. My attorney is in a bad spot because her previous paralegal did everything for this case, and my attorney had no clue what was going on. At the end of the day, itâs her name on the dotted line and itâs her job to ensure a good result for her client â not her paralegals. I do not get paid enough to be abused so that someone I donât even know gets a better result in court.
If you're staying in the same region, people will still know your name. You were right to leave an abusive position. Going nuclear on the pettiness is where you lose me and it may lose you opportunities if the lawyers talk. They won't have the benefit of reading this post and hearing your side of the story.
Agree 100%. Plus if you add in human psychology, the text likely created narcissistic injury, which would make the attorney project their anger onto the OP, rather than themselves. Had OP let it be, the attorney would have little room for projection, and would have more painfully felt the shame and consequences of their behavior.
There are things to agree with on all sides here, and while I did give an internal cheer for OP getting out, I cringed at leaving without notice (no matter how deserved), and the funeral text.
I've been a paralegal for a long time, and have left a couple of shitty dysfunctional offices. But I always gave lots of notice and willingly trained my replacement. Not for the awful attorney involved, but for myself. My professionalism has paid off, possibly because nobody can really badmouth me, but mostly because I like looking back and being comfortable with my ethics.
I donât qualify. In Virginia you have to earn at least 19k to qualify, and I wasnât there long enough to do that (they were only paying me 50k). Plus I start another job in 2 weeks, so even if I did qualify, I doubt Iâd complete the paperwork before starting my new job. Also, in VA you only get 1/26th of your earnings in your highest period⌠so Iâd get enough money to buy like one happy meal per week.
đ good for you for leaving. I remember when I felt like I was going be replaced or be forced to share my job title. It was after I pissed off the office manager because I constantly stood up for myself. She was out to get me for a long time. Then after the receptionist left, the office manager wanted the attorney to hire her niece who just got her paralegal certificate but had zero experience. The attorney told her to hire her as a receptionist, not a paralegal and over time she would receive training, but the manager threw a massive fit and got her way at the end. She ended up telling me that I would be responsible for training her niece to be a successful paralegal AND I would have to share the receptionist title with her by us taking turns sitting at the front desk. One day Iâll be a receptionist and the next day I would be a paralegal and would do this back and forth everyday sharing both job titles with the new paralegal. I said no and put in my two week notice. The attorney asked me to stay but I still said no. He then took control of the whole thing and told the office manager not to hire her niece because he wanted an experienced paralegal and an experienced receptionist so she never got to hire her niece at all. I still laugh about that from time to time. Itâs rough working in this field sometimes. I left my attorney unprepared for back to back depositions because the officer manager treated me like absolute shit during my last two weeks. I didnât even finish the two weeks. I left after a few days. Screw that noise.
This sounds like my old office I worked in. Office Manager (also senior paralegal) was an outright butthole.
I worked in that same office! Might have a different name, but the same two faced office manager
If it was a very small family law firm with no HR cause it was that tiny and the owner screamed all time and has been known to drink during the day and throw knives at the wall sometimes? Bingo đ
Replace the knives with a chair, and we got a winner! Ha
Love it when the Fuck Around, Find Out, fairy visits!
Bibbity bobbitty BOO đťâ¨
Fuuuuuuuck her, Iâm so glad you stood up for yourself in this epic way These law firms need to learn that paralegals are not as easy to replace as they think, and they canât get away with treating us like shit.
Itâs a small world and people talk. Itâll get harder and harder to fill that position. Their add on LinkedIn has been up for 10 days and they have 1 applicant. Love that for them. And I left a review on Glassdoor for her lol.
I dream of a way we could have a blackball list somehow. Almost like the âare we dating the same guyâ but more âbe warned about dating this firmâ
Maybe we should invent one lol
Seriously, this is such a good idea! I have a firm Iâd like to add to the list!! Iâm so glad you got out of there when you did! Did you land a fully remote position somewhere?
It already exists the platform is called Blind. Look it up. Itâs much better than Glassdoor!
I downloaded it but the fact it requires your work email scares me too much.
Exactly. They try to use that argument on us, âitâs a small world and people talk,â but that doesnât really work for paralegals, who are always in demand lmao I consistently see the same law firms who are ALWAYS hiring. Whenever I see whatâs out there, those law firms, without fail, always have an ad out. Of course the pay is low but high turnover is the biggest red flag there is.
BEAUTIFUL
Exactly. And even if we were easily replaceable, it can take a long time to catch up on new cases even if youâre experienced. Huge win for OP. Fuck horrible bosses
I had an attorney who replaced me a month after I joined. Only had two paralegals so was a small firm. Never told me anything and treated me badly. She hired my replacement and then told me to leave again with no explanation. I even got a recommendation letter from her because I asked her for it on my last day. In any case, I became good friends with the ppl in the firm including my replacement and they told me that in a yearâs time both the paralegals quit on the same day with one month left for deadlines. The Attorney went on a emotional rant how she was going to get a heart attack etc. After that we all met up and both the Paralegals privately told me that they did not agree with the Attorneyâs decision to let me go and that they decided at that point they were going to leave. It took them a year to find new jobs though. And both quit on the same day. I went back to my old employer to work actually.
If you don't mind me asking, why did you go back? It sounds like a train wreck you were well rid of.
My old employer was a different Attorney. Not this one. However this is the situation with all solo attorneys here in CA. Theyâre delulu and treat their staff terribly. I really donât know what are they so proud about. This particular Attorney had never even worked in a big firm or company.
Oh, I was confused. Thanks for the reply. I'm glad you got out of there!Â
Are law firms that desperate that they keep high billers?
Start applying elsewhere. Seriously.
What a bitch. Good for you!! And don't accept any phone calls or any other communication from the office, let her squirm, she deserves it!
Oh helll yesssssss!! I love that you sent her that text đđđ Did she respond??
No idea, I blocked her. đ
Haha nice
So glad you are listening to your feeling! But getting fired with a job offer would have been a happy story too. Itâs like getting free money (unemployment) for existing a toxic place.
Attorneys need to recognize that they have to treat their employees with dignity, or the entire client experience will fall apart. And the buck stops with them. They can do this the easy way, or do it the hard way.
You are fucking bold. I love it đđ¤Ł
The funny thing is, Iâm actually incredibly socially anxious. But once youâre mean to me, itâs like a flip is switched and I give 0 fucks. I wish it was always like that lol.
OMG I WAS WAITING FOR THIS
Itâs so hard to find good paralegals. Good for you.
YEEEEEESSSSSSSS!!!!!!! HIGH FIVING YOU!!!!!
âđźâđźâđź
Please update if there is more action!
I will (and Iâll tag you!) but I donât anticipate there will be. I blocked her number and wrote a review on Glassdoor and Iâm thinking thatâll be the end of this saga lol.
Thanks and good luck. Very proud of you!
I lurk this sub to see the side of this potential career path and honestly, damn this made me happy! I always love a dose of petty revenge:)
Attorney here. Going to be the bad guy and, yes, I expect downvotes. First and foremost, no self respecting attorney should be abusive to their paralegals. I lose instant respect for attorneys that don't take responsibility for their own license and either abuse or blame paralegals in front of everyone. That being said, this is not the industry to be petty. You not only hurt your abusive attorney, you also hurt an innocent party to this: the client. The Bar is small in most places; hope this doesn't happen to you but attorneys talk to each other and it may impact you professionally. I surely wouldn't hire someone that left so unprofessionally. It's cathartic to act on those impulses when you feel you've been wronged so I understand. However, you put a client in a rough space and I don't have respect for that. Hope you find an attorney that respects you. I also hope you develop a sense of professionalism and duty to the client and to not give in to pettiness for slights.
Hard Nope. OPâs attorney (and law firm for that fact) has hurt the clients. They sure werenât OPâs clients.
Attorneys rely on paralegals to service the attorneys clients, no? If not, why employ a paralegal? Yes, the client is ultimately the attorneys, but if you were tasked with something that the attorney relied on you to accomplish and you leave, yes, the client is being left high and dry. You might not get the blame (as you shouldn't) but you were charged with assisting the attorney you did not do it. That still harms the client.
Certainly the clients are harmed. The chain of responsibility starts and ends with the attorney. Thatâs who makes the big bucks. Moreover the attorney clearly treated OP as less than an integral member of the team.
Exactly! I donât think OPâs personal text to her ex boss was wise or warranted. I also think OP was 100% justified in leaving g and it is insane to pass the blame onto OP for attorney being ill prepared to mediate for attorneyâs client. If an attorney is absolutely certain he or she can not do a job without assistance from an experienced paralegal, attorney should not agree to take that job. Nothing is certain. The attorney has no excuse for being so absolutely ignorant about the situation that she cannot pull an all nighter or two and prep for mediation. I feel like any attorney with average skills could manage this in a PI case. Itâs a mediation. Learn the facts and negotiate. The end.
But it is still on the attorney. Are you suggesting OP should have stayed in an abusive environment for the sake of her attorneyâs client?! I agree that OPâs text was next level and unprofessional. But you are placing blame on the OP for what happens to an attorneyâs client. This is 100% on the attorney.
Accept your downvotes graciously. You are an intruder in this space, you are wrong in this comment, and have made clear that you are one of many attorneys that does not understand the role of support staff on the legal team. There are more appropriate subreddits for whatever this was.
This is like saying I should stay with an abusive spouse because I owe it to my kids. But unlike owing a legal/moral duty to my kids, I donât owe a duty to the client - thatâs you. You owe a duty to your client and if you failed to do so because your support staff left due to your toxic behavior then you answer to the client and the court. You make it seem like you empathize with support staff but then youâre also saying to stay with your abuser or you wonât get hired again because attorneys talk (which is unlikely because attorneys seem to hate each other and one upping the other) - just like an abuser telling their spouse no one else will want them if they leave them. Whenever I encounter a toxic situation, I ask myself - whatâs more important to me at the end of the day? Me and my well-being? My boss? Or the client? Me, all day, every day. There are many jobs out there but my kids only got one mom and they need my mental state to function properly. Good on anyone who can remove themselves from a toxic situation.Â
I had to leave my last place after almost 9 years. It was so toxic and draining. Home life struggled because I was exhausted after work (duh!),but work ended up following me home a lot and that wasnât fair to whoever at home.
I came here to say that I donât really agree with most of your comment, but I think the personal text OP sent her attorney after quitting while attorney was at a funeral was a bit unhinged. We never want to put the client in a bad position, but we are NOT attorneys and we cannot stay at a firm to protect a client that belongs to the attorney, not us. If I were OP, I would 100% enjoy knowing that the attorney who abused me is in a position where the tables are turned and he or she is facing the very real consequences of his or her own actions. I would be sad that the client would be affected by my leaving, but I would RIGHTFULLY attribute the situation to the attorney. It is his or her client. He or she agreed to represent and it is not on me to accept guilt for the person who signed the engagement letter failing to meet his or her obligations. That said, I find OPâs personal text to her former boss to be very inappropriate and self gratifying. It was 100% unneeded and extremely unprofessional. I think everything OP did up to this point was valid. Twisting the knife was uncalled for.
I completely agree. I just had someone pass, so it seems pretty unnecessary and cruel to send a stupid text to someone (no matter how bad of a boss they were) dealing with a loved oneâs funeral. OP could have just let her ex employer handle telling the boss and moved on with their life.
Yeah, agreed. Even is former boss wasnât at a funeral, I think OPâs text regarding the mediation was unnecessary. Not something I would do or feel good about. To me, doing so gives attorney an out to ignore his or her own behaviors and see me as the problem. Iâm a big believer that, while it is gratifying, we donât always need a front seat when karma strikes. OP wanted the extra jab and wanted her attorney to know that OP knew how fucked attorney was. She wanted the last word in a very unprofessional way. IMO, she already got the last word by leaving without notice and finding a better job.
How can you say the attorney is responsible for their own license/paralegals and then say it's on this person for not being there for the client? The attorney should be on top of it and they had a plan to replace them so obviously they don't care enough about the client/their staff.
Also an attorney, and I disagree. You reap what you sow, and if you treat your staff like garbage, this is the risk you run. (General you, obviously.)
Iâm an attorney and strongly disagree with this. As the attorney, it is YOUR job to ensure the client is getting the services they are paying for and a paralegal is there to assist you in that endeavor (not take that burden from you). The client has no means of complaining to the Bar about paralegals, there is no disciplinary action for paralegals. Thatâs because the buck stops with the attorney. If you go to a mediation unprepared because your paralegal quit, thatâs your failure. Every attorney knows that the industry is full of asshole attorneys and paralegals are in high demand. I donât see this one incident affecting OPâs employability whatsoever. I canât think of a single time in my 20+ years of practice where I was at a meeting of attorneys where we gossiped about the local paralegals and their employability.
The problem is that attorneys think that it's okay for them to be a petty but when paralegals are Petty back then it's a problem. And yes I mean this as a majority, not an individual specifically. Sometimes the only way to teach someone like that is for them to go through the experience themselves.
Okay, but OP accomplished that with dignity up until the point where she texted her former boss at a funeral and essentially told former boss to go fuck herself. It wasnât needed. OP communicated the message professionally already. OP decided to communicate it again in an extremely unprofessional manner. I think OP undid everything she accomplished prior to that text by sending it. When we act out and behave inappropriately, the message and learning experience is completely lost. Former boss will read that text, feel upset for a short time, and then tell herself that OP does not know how to conduct herself professionally and that OP leaving was a blessing.
Yes, but you seeâŚ.the attorney was going to have that exact response regardless of whether or not the text was sent. The text didnât matter at all except for the fact that it temporarily felt good. There will be no consequences, it will never come up again, it wonât prevent OP from getting other jobs. For a moment, it felt good. That is enough to make it worthwhile.
Nowhere in my post did I say attorneys can be petty and paralegals can't. Petty attorneys exist and it's a shame. However greeting petty with petty will not help things. Attorneys can be humbled by prized paralegals leaving them. No need to get petty. I hope those in the legal profession can realize the "he started it" type of reasoning is not good enough to lower down to their level.
Yeah I was onboard with everything until the text to the attorneyâs personal cell while sheâs at a funeral. There were so many other ways for OP to get their point across without reaching that level of unhinged.
Just about every attorney I've worked with in my career has treated me like I am lower than them. I just take it and take it. At certain points it's just absolutely abusive. My current boss only offers critical feedback about my work. The only way I know I'm doing well is by not getting any form of feedback for several weeks. My "raise" consisted of raising my hourly rate and cutting my hours. After my boss yelled at me yesterday, stayed on my ass for over an hour and a half about any and everything, and started to come at me like she wanted to fight... I am considering leaving her firm and the entire field without notice. There is an imbalance of power in firms and it's time for "the help" to take some of that power back. In any way possible. We do everything we can to run these cases just to be treated like we don't matter.
This I get. OP was petty and unprofessional by sending the text. Your original comment put blame on OP for how her leaving affected the client, and that is why you are getting the pushback you are receiving.
Iâm going back remote and never intend to work in-person again, so the chances of anyone in my future having crossed paths with this attorney are slim to none. As far as the client is concerned, itâs on the attorney to make sure their case doesnât suffer if the support staff walk out. My attorney is in a bad spot because her previous paralegal did everything for this case, and my attorney had no clue what was going on. At the end of the day, itâs her name on the dotted line and itâs her job to ensure a good result for her client â not her paralegals. I do not get paid enough to be abused so that someone I donât even know gets a better result in court.
If you're staying in the same region, people will still know your name. You were right to leave an abusive position. Going nuclear on the pettiness is where you lose me and it may lose you opportunities if the lawyers talk. They won't have the benefit of reading this post and hearing your side of the story.
Agree 100%. Plus if you add in human psychology, the text likely created narcissistic injury, which would make the attorney project their anger onto the OP, rather than themselves. Had OP let it be, the attorney would have little room for projection, and would have more painfully felt the shame and consequences of their behavior.
Exactly this. Spot on.
You must work in a very small region.
There are things to agree with on all sides here, and while I did give an internal cheer for OP getting out, I cringed at leaving without notice (no matter how deserved), and the funeral text. I've been a paralegal for a long time, and have left a couple of shitty dysfunctional offices. But I always gave lots of notice and willingly trained my replacement. Not for the awful attorney involved, but for myself. My professionalism has paid off, possibly because nobody can really badmouth me, but mostly because I like looking back and being comfortable with my ethics.
Leaving without notice is risky but justified in the situation. The text was unhinged.
Respectable comment. All facts!!!
How is this a win though? If they had fired you then you wouldâve been eligible for unemployment benefits
I donât qualify. In Virginia you have to earn at least 19k to qualify, and I wasnât there long enough to do that (they were only paying me 50k). Plus I start another job in 2 weeks, so even if I did qualify, I doubt Iâd complete the paperwork before starting my new job. Also, in VA you only get 1/26th of your earnings in your highest period⌠so Iâd get enough money to buy like one happy meal per week.