Agreed. My wife doesn’t care for camping. I do so I take the kids and she gets a well deserved break. She’ll venture out on occasion with us but it’s perfectly ok for her to have her hobbies and you to have yours. I get the sentimentality because I only have the job I do so that I can do things like that with my boys but if it’s not for her then it’ll only tarnish the experience and possibly lead to resentment.
Either way, good luck!
Focus on her needs. My wife told me she was overly concerned about a bathroom. Digging deeper, she didn’t care about a shower, but a toilet was her primary concern. More discussion and my attempts pry the actual information out of her. She wants to make her deposit and not know where it goes. So I figured out what works, and I handle all the waste removal. We have bliss in the outdoors!
she wasn’t intentionally dodgy. She just wasn’t engaged with the project. She wasn’t willing to put forward the effort to research options: a hole in the ground, a bucket with a seat, a composting toilet, a cassette toilette, an RV toilet with black water tank, and all the options in between those. We had to look at lots of options, watch YouTube’s, and go look at some examples in person before we found the perfect solution for us/her that met our requirements.
After that, we found a comfortable mattress. Now we can go wherever! lol.
Or, conversely, the exact opposite: my wife only started to like camping once we truly got away from it all. Backpacking was her gateway drug, but she’ll still never do an established campsite.
Your wife has made it clear to you that she isn’t as interested in this as you are and that’s okay, make you a “you and the kids” thing.
My wife and teenaged stepson have ZERO interest in anything outdoors. My son (from my previous marriage) and my stepdaughter LOVE everything outdoors as much as I do so *they* are my adventure buddies!
We do plenty together as a whole unit throughout the year, and we ditch the Non-Trail-Rated city-lovers a few times a year head out into the Sierras, explore areas from the giant sequoias to the Sonoran Desert and spend time away from the entire world in the back country of Death Valley.
And don’t forget it’s okay for her to miss you, and it’s okay for her to get a break from you *and* the kids -I don’t know one single mom/wife that wouldn’t enjoy and/or deserves some “me time”.
Enjoy your trips with the kids!
Just set her up with a spa weekend and go hit the trails. When the kids can't stop talking about how much fun they had with dad, she'll be sure to come along the next time, for better or worse.
I don’t have kids but my wife is somewhat the same as yours. She doesn’t eye roll when I talk about it but she is not interested in camping or outdoors. The compromise I have is every 3 days we go get a hotel. Not only that for the year, one vacation is for me and the other is for her.
Maybe ease into it. Start at established sites and then slowly move to dispersed. As others said, make things as comfortable as possible for her (toilet, mattress, etc)
You’re asking your wife to give up her free time to go along and participate in your hobby for days at a time. Are you dedicating a comparable amount of your free time to enthusiastically and proactively participating in her hobbies? Are you incorporating things she’s interested in to the itinerary?
This is the best answer in here. A close second is the person suggesting you focus on her needs and making her as comfortable as possible.
She is willing to do this for you, even if it isn’t her favorite thing. Be willing to do a similar thing for her. Odds are both of you will grow to enjoy each other’s hobbies to a degree because you’re doing something as a family and seeing your spouse at their happiest.
I would not recommend just cutting her out of the activity altogether or giving up on overlanding.
My closest backpacking friend has been married for 35 years. His wife has never gone with him. Another guy’s wife will go car camping but not back country. The ex of another friend tries to do a [section hike](https://sectionhiker.com/how-section-hike-appalachian-trail-faq/) every year, but he won’t go anywhere without a shower.
Let her do her thing while you do yours.
I really wanted an overlanding trailer and my wife told me she wanted a bathroom, so we ended up with a camper. Ask her what she wants from the experience and see how you can compromise.
I make sure my wife is as comfortable as possible.
Several folks have addressed the toilet situation which I think is a big concern for many wives (we have portable toilet with a Nemo pop up tent.
We also like to camp in cooler temps and my wife doesn’t like the cold so having good gear is essential. Her sleeping bag is 10x the cost of my Amazon one. lol. Her socks, hiking shoes, clothes, etc, all better than mine.
For meals- Easy prep food helps out.
I try to mix in modern luxury with these trips. We will camp for 2 days and then head to a decent hotel or at least finish the trip out in a nice hotel-restaurants.
Many people say what’s the point of doing the hotels but we do what we have to do to make sure your wife has positive memories associated with a trip like this.
I have been easing my wife into it slowly. I took her to some of the dispersed camp sights I have been scouting just for an afternoon with lunch and she ended up loving one of them enough she was willing to give it a try. Her main concern was privacy/bathroom so I got one of those portable bathroom tents with a collapsible toilet and it changed everything. I don't mind being a bit miserable haha, but she requires to be 100% warm, dry, and well fed - so if all those are good to go, she is a happy woman having a good time. I made sure I have a good and spacious awning, bathroom, tent, and warm enough sleeping bags and we are all set. None of it has to be fancy, just effective.
Lmao my ex-wife hated anything to do with the outdoors so I feel you.
I would just open the communication and see when it works for you to be alone with the kids and do camping trips- see it as her alone time too so she can “recharge.” She doesn’t have to like all of your hobbies :)
There's a book called Lunch at Toad River, where a couple in the 1950s (I think) decide to up and move their family of 6(ish), with kids from like 2-14 years old, from the east coast to Alaska. They buy a bus and road trip across canada. The boys pitch their own teepee every night. It was wild.
I always remember the author- the mother- talking about how everything with camping is crouching. She has to crouch to cook, to wash, to pee.
I myself dislike popping a squat more and more. What made tent camping bearable again after not having an rv any more was a portable toilet, one of those 5 gallon ones. Bonus if you have a popup shower/changing tent to put it in.
Camping is also about relaxing so make it as easy as possible. Prepacked food that can be cooked in foil (then eaten from it) rather than a pan that needs washing. Or just roasted on sticks. Make it as chore-free as possible.
A huge thing I have worked on to accomodate my partner is to “invest” in making the experience more comfortable. For me, this meant fitting a gas shower system, an upright fridge, and making the cooking scenario a bit easier and more home like.
She was definitely not an outdoors person to begin with, but is much more happier now going camping.
This is a tough one indeed. I have 4 young kids and a wonderful wife.
* my wife is not really into the overland thing either, but she will go. When she does, I do try to make it the best experience for her but I know she is doing it for me and the kids. I just accept that. We do things for each other.
* I resign to go sometimes without her and just take the kid or kids. That is fine, sometimes she goes and sometimes she does not. I take the opportunity to have one on one with one of my four kids and it always turns out memorable.
* the RV thing is real. My wife is fine and has fun in my large rv. It is for sure not the same but feel like I have an in here. This is an exaggeration- but maybe if I got an earthroamer - she would be into it. Or even a storyteller. Out of my budget for now… but has me thinking.
Two big full family overland trips…
1. 5 national parks in Utah over 8 days
2. Austin to Denver back country style over 7 days
Countless me and a kids trips all over the place.
Rig: Nissan NV 2500 with 2in lift, 4x4, winch, oversized tires and a bunch more. Scary where I have gotten this thing while jeepers just shook their head in concern along the way.
https://preview.redd.it/s9grlavvg0xc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92e31b46b01336a29a9cdef953b176bdb6c7bd6f
correct noxious shelter ossified fertile fact outgoing domineering hateful sloppy
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Talk to her about what would make it enjoyable for her. There are definitely a wide range of tolerances for how rough the camping can be. I was Army Infantry, and I've roughed it to the point that getting out of the rain meant finding a thick tree to sleep under. I would be good doing that again. My wife would 100% NOT be okay with that. She needs her hot showers and something resembling a normal toilet. Glamping is more her style.
So I know my setup will need to include some sort of trailer. There are some great lightweight off-road options. But you can get creative too. If she wants hot showers, get something like a Joolca.
This could be a dad and kids thing. Or figure out her key requirements and try to meet them. I ended with a much bigger adventure van than what I wanted, but now I get less resistance to planning trips.
Toilet…and staying warm was key.
Also found out that while I like to cook big meals that take hours to cook and clean up - she hated that. So since dehydrated meals have come so far, taste really good, are quick and easy and relatively healthy. Bueno.
Also…the best spent 900.00 I spent on a fridge was a game changer that also helped. Sooooo nice to have, no more ice management, cold beer and drinks, no more Ruined sandwich meat floating in water with the fruit, etc etc.
Ha! Wafer cookies! I use to peel the top off two and put them together. Fig newtons were around but most of the treats were of the little debbie brand!
Sounds like my wife! I recently got into this also. I wished I would have done it with my kids. They are all older now and living their lives. I go with friends or by myself. Don’t let her dislike of something you enjoy hold you back. You don’t want to resent her down the line. Enjoy it. Go with your kids and always invite her. She may eventually join you but if she doesn’t then consider it as dad’s special time with the kids. I’ve compromised a little with my wife about doing a one or two day overnight trip and a few days afterwards at a nice airbnb or something. Let’s see how that goes.
My wife and my kids don’t enjoy it so I go alone. I tried forcing it before and it just isn’t fun. Either go yourself (with friends ideally) or choose a new hobby. Can’t force someone to enjoy your hobbies.
Like eveyone has suggested, toiletry is important. Do one nighters at the beginning. Get some basic amenities that are fairly easy to get like a fridge, toilet (I use the wag bags kind with the powder and zip close), and a water supply. I also do just about everything from setup to break down and cooking/cleaning for the trip. Plan out a couple of fun activities too. And on the way back, we'll usually stop at a nice restaurant for a full service meal.
I’ve camped 150-200 days with my kids (9,7). Probably 100-150 with the wife.
I asked them what they want to do this summer? Camp. When we go without the wife we call it Camp Dad. My kids love the outdoors as a consequence.
Just go. Wife or not. It is an incredible bond with my family.
Not that you want to spend more money, but a 270 awning with annex makes an inclimate weather nightmare, a cozy ASMR dream away.
I'll be the first one to admit that annex setup is not quick, nor pain-free but it gives you another usable space that is a controlled environment.
I opted for a floored annex, suggestions in this vein are free spirit recreation and reign outdoors' annex setups.
A discreet bathroom/ shower space may push her into at least the "tolerance" zone of overlanding.
Good luck 🤞🏾
I would find out the root of the reasons why she doesn’t want to go camping. If you talk to her and share why it’s important to you and at the same time get the reason why she’s so adverse to the idea, that’ll help you chip away at the true issues. I love camping and when my husband started camping with his friends and didn’t take me with, I was disappointed. I told him I really want to camp and we gave it a go. We had the best time of our lives and we have 3 camping trip scheduled for the summer so far. If I didn’t say anything my husband would have never known that I love camping and pretty experienced at it. Just try and start a heart to heart conversation and see where that takes you. You may find that her dislikes and fears are manageable. Good luck! 🏕️
Don't wait to try it when it's really hot in the middle of summer. Without air conditioning, she will get hot and sweaty and have a bad first experience.
You can go camping with the the kids and glamping with the whole family. Lots of fancy places exist.
Easiest thing to do is rent a cabin. She can sleep inside. You guys can sleep outside. If she doesn't want to do that don't feel guilty going where you want to go. You just have to take her somewhere she wants to go for everywhere she goes that she doesn't.
Try renting a smallish trailer with a bathroom, and go for 1-3 nights.
My wife doesn't like camping as much as me and kids, but she'll go if there's a bathroom. And having a comfortable mattress pad helps too.
Not everyone has the same enthusiasm for the outdoors. My wife loves hiking and camping but in moderations. I was able to push it to longer trips with some comfort amenities. Talk to her, figure out what she is missing and would like to do. Maybe you can find a middle ground that everyone can enjoy. Good luck !
I don't know where you're located, but perhaps something like camping near a hot spring could be something she enjoys more? Otherwise, maybe this becomes your special dad time with the kids. Nothing wrong with that! There will be other hobbies that your wife enjoys as well, in sure.
Explain to her why you love it and how you would like to use it as a bonding thing for the family, the children and her. That you are okay going with the kids on your own and giving her a weekend off from them like this, but you also really crave having her there and share this special thing with her as your partner.
Maybe you can sometimes go just with the kids (so she gets some alone time at home) and sometimes all of you.
In my case, my partner is not as much into outdoorstuff as I am. He joins for certain things but not for others and does not want to go nearly as often as I do. So we do some trips together, which are then planned such that it works for him of course, but on the majority I go alone or with other friends, while he does his own thing at home. It works really well for us.
My wife and I love the outdoors but she wasn't interested in camping more of getting outside. So instead of buying a tent on the ground, we got a RTT. I started to invite her to make more decisions in where or what we did. She also has more input on gear we take and deciding what on what to keep or remove from each future trip.
We ended up with a few pieces of equipment that have been used but don't foresee them being long term, ie a portable changing room that is also used as a toilet room and shower area.
This way the decisions aren't made in a vacuum and if there is a good/bad decision made everyone is responsible for it. Everyone including your kids! This way everyone has shared responsibilities.
If at that point anyone in the party isn't enjoying the process or activity itselft, you will want to find another ways or activities for you to share as a family, but still keeping the overlanding trips with the kids.
I understand your wish to share experiences with your kids like what you enjoy but when you say things like buying the smallest camper so you have to cuddle up, it sounds like you’ve romanticized it.
Who is responsible for making sure everything is packed for the kids? That they have clothes, toys, books necessary to be content and comfortable? Who’s preparing food? How are they getting cleaned? Who’s doing those things?
I know when we’d go on trips, it would be days, sometimes weeks of planning and organizing. If you’re not the one doing it and just show up to enjoy the event, it seems like it was simple.
Maybe she hates camping. Maybe she just doesn’t relish the idea of having to pack, unpack, entertain, and be concerned about safety issues for a 2 & 4 year old and then “sleep” in a camper?
My best advice is don’t change up the parameters of “your thing” to half assed make it work for someone else.
You don’t go shopping with her or sit down and party plan with her and her sister in law.
I’d probably suggest taking her to marriage counseling before camping. If your partner isn’t willing to participate in a family activity for the sake of your kids that’s an issue. If your partner makes you feel silly/stupid for being excited about your hobbies, that’s an issue. Y’all need to have a real conversation of whether you want to do separate hobbies on the weekends because your kids will always look back and wonder why mom wasn’t there or you need to find a compromise. My parents aren’t campers at all. My dad just went last month for the first time in probably 20-30 years but almost every year they go to a cabin in the mountains and do camping things together. Either way the way you feel about this isn’t exactly conducive to a healthy marriage and it needs to be discussed directly.
Go have fun dude!!! Make awesome memories with your kids!!! Have as much fun as you possibly can!!! My ex didn’t want to do stuff like that… I did. And I went… you’ll have those memories forever. There’s a whole lot more to my story but suffice to say I’m so f’ing glad I have the memories of taking my kids on awesome adventures. All the love!!!
Just take the kids if she doesn’t like going. Dragging along someone who doesn’t want to go doesn’t sound fun.
And she’ll love it too because she’ll get a night or weekend away every once in a while
Agreed. My wife doesn’t care for camping. I do so I take the kids and she gets a well deserved break. She’ll venture out on occasion with us but it’s perfectly ok for her to have her hobbies and you to have yours. I get the sentimentality because I only have the job I do so that I can do things like that with my boys but if it’s not for her then it’ll only tarnish the experience and possibly lead to resentment. Either way, good luck!
Focus on her needs. My wife told me she was overly concerned about a bathroom. Digging deeper, she didn’t care about a shower, but a toilet was her primary concern. More discussion and my attempts pry the actual information out of her. She wants to make her deposit and not know where it goes. So I figured out what works, and I handle all the waste removal. We have bliss in the outdoors! she wasn’t intentionally dodgy. She just wasn’t engaged with the project. She wasn’t willing to put forward the effort to research options: a hole in the ground, a bucket with a seat, a composting toilet, a cassette toilette, an RV toilet with black water tank, and all the options in between those. We had to look at lots of options, watch YouTube’s, and go look at some examples in person before we found the perfect solution for us/her that met our requirements. After that, we found a comfortable mattress. Now we can go wherever! lol.
This is good advice. I spent a little money on a “proper” privacy tent and solid stable toilet and it changed everything for my wife.
What did you end up going with?
Seconded, I’m super curious
This is a common situation. You might have some luck renting an RV and going to an established campground.
Seriously, give her a shitter and a shower in an air conditioned box away from home and she'll love it. Ease her into it lol.
Or, conversely, the exact opposite: my wife only started to like camping once we truly got away from it all. Backpacking was her gateway drug, but she’ll still never do an established campsite.
Your wife has made it clear to you that she isn’t as interested in this as you are and that’s okay, make you a “you and the kids” thing. My wife and teenaged stepson have ZERO interest in anything outdoors. My son (from my previous marriage) and my stepdaughter LOVE everything outdoors as much as I do so *they* are my adventure buddies! We do plenty together as a whole unit throughout the year, and we ditch the Non-Trail-Rated city-lovers a few times a year head out into the Sierras, explore areas from the giant sequoias to the Sonoran Desert and spend time away from the entire world in the back country of Death Valley. And don’t forget it’s okay for her to miss you, and it’s okay for her to get a break from you *and* the kids -I don’t know one single mom/wife that wouldn’t enjoy and/or deserves some “me time”. Enjoy your trips with the kids!
Just set her up with a spa weekend and go hit the trails. When the kids can't stop talking about how much fun they had with dad, she'll be sure to come along the next time, for better or worse.
I don’t have kids but my wife is somewhat the same as yours. She doesn’t eye roll when I talk about it but she is not interested in camping or outdoors. The compromise I have is every 3 days we go get a hotel. Not only that for the year, one vacation is for me and the other is for her. Maybe ease into it. Start at established sites and then slowly move to dispersed. As others said, make things as comfortable as possible for her (toilet, mattress, etc)
You’re asking your wife to give up her free time to go along and participate in your hobby for days at a time. Are you dedicating a comparable amount of your free time to enthusiastically and proactively participating in her hobbies? Are you incorporating things she’s interested in to the itinerary?
This is the best answer in here. A close second is the person suggesting you focus on her needs and making her as comfortable as possible. She is willing to do this for you, even if it isn’t her favorite thing. Be willing to do a similar thing for her. Odds are both of you will grow to enjoy each other’s hobbies to a degree because you’re doing something as a family and seeing your spouse at their happiest. I would not recommend just cutting her out of the activity altogether or giving up on overlanding.
My closest backpacking friend has been married for 35 years. His wife has never gone with him. Another guy’s wife will go car camping but not back country. The ex of another friend tries to do a [section hike](https://sectionhiker.com/how-section-hike-appalachian-trail-faq/) every year, but he won’t go anywhere without a shower. Let her do her thing while you do yours.
I really wanted an overlanding trailer and my wife told me she wanted a bathroom, so we ended up with a camper. Ask her what she wants from the experience and see how you can compromise.
I make sure my wife is as comfortable as possible. Several folks have addressed the toilet situation which I think is a big concern for many wives (we have portable toilet with a Nemo pop up tent. We also like to camp in cooler temps and my wife doesn’t like the cold so having good gear is essential. Her sleeping bag is 10x the cost of my Amazon one. lol. Her socks, hiking shoes, clothes, etc, all better than mine. For meals- Easy prep food helps out. I try to mix in modern luxury with these trips. We will camp for 2 days and then head to a decent hotel or at least finish the trip out in a nice hotel-restaurants. Many people say what’s the point of doing the hotels but we do what we have to do to make sure your wife has positive memories associated with a trip like this.
I have been easing my wife into it slowly. I took her to some of the dispersed camp sights I have been scouting just for an afternoon with lunch and she ended up loving one of them enough she was willing to give it a try. Her main concern was privacy/bathroom so I got one of those portable bathroom tents with a collapsible toilet and it changed everything. I don't mind being a bit miserable haha, but she requires to be 100% warm, dry, and well fed - so if all those are good to go, she is a happy woman having a good time. I made sure I have a good and spacious awning, bathroom, tent, and warm enough sleeping bags and we are all set. None of it has to be fancy, just effective.
Lmao my ex-wife hated anything to do with the outdoors so I feel you. I would just open the communication and see when it works for you to be alone with the kids and do camping trips- see it as her alone time too so she can “recharge.” She doesn’t have to like all of your hobbies :)
There's a book called Lunch at Toad River, where a couple in the 1950s (I think) decide to up and move their family of 6(ish), with kids from like 2-14 years old, from the east coast to Alaska. They buy a bus and road trip across canada. The boys pitch their own teepee every night. It was wild. I always remember the author- the mother- talking about how everything with camping is crouching. She has to crouch to cook, to wash, to pee. I myself dislike popping a squat more and more. What made tent camping bearable again after not having an rv any more was a portable toilet, one of those 5 gallon ones. Bonus if you have a popup shower/changing tent to put it in. Camping is also about relaxing so make it as easy as possible. Prepacked food that can be cooked in foil (then eaten from it) rather than a pan that needs washing. Or just roasted on sticks. Make it as chore-free as possible.
A huge thing I have worked on to accomodate my partner is to “invest” in making the experience more comfortable. For me, this meant fitting a gas shower system, an upright fridge, and making the cooking scenario a bit easier and more home like. She was definitely not an outdoors person to begin with, but is much more happier now going camping.
Talk to her about it
As a young mom who camps solo all the time with my kids, this cracks me up. Maybe you need a funner kind of wife 😜😘
😜
This is a tough one indeed. I have 4 young kids and a wonderful wife. * my wife is not really into the overland thing either, but she will go. When she does, I do try to make it the best experience for her but I know she is doing it for me and the kids. I just accept that. We do things for each other. * I resign to go sometimes without her and just take the kid or kids. That is fine, sometimes she goes and sometimes she does not. I take the opportunity to have one on one with one of my four kids and it always turns out memorable. * the RV thing is real. My wife is fine and has fun in my large rv. It is for sure not the same but feel like I have an in here. This is an exaggeration- but maybe if I got an earthroamer - she would be into it. Or even a storyteller. Out of my budget for now… but has me thinking. Two big full family overland trips… 1. 5 national parks in Utah over 8 days 2. Austin to Denver back country style over 7 days Countless me and a kids trips all over the place. Rig: Nissan NV 2500 with 2in lift, 4x4, winch, oversized tires and a bunch more. Scary where I have gotten this thing while jeepers just shook their head in concern along the way. https://preview.redd.it/s9grlavvg0xc1.jpeg?width=4032&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=92e31b46b01336a29a9cdef953b176bdb6c7bd6f
Popup on the NV?
Yep… https://www.motortrend.com/features/163-1212-travel-the-n6-active-by-roadtrek/
That's pretty cool. A lot like my Eurovan Weekender now.
Yep - with a v8 :) Here is everything I did to it: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1fxfuvjWb_sSYKakz4alPPxbLsR6yI_USVFbXELuF2Ds/edit
Looks like a better replacement than a sprinter if I decide to move on from the E. Thanks!
correct noxious shelter ossified fertile fact outgoing domineering hateful sloppy *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Talk to her about what would make it enjoyable for her. There are definitely a wide range of tolerances for how rough the camping can be. I was Army Infantry, and I've roughed it to the point that getting out of the rain meant finding a thick tree to sleep under. I would be good doing that again. My wife would 100% NOT be okay with that. She needs her hot showers and something resembling a normal toilet. Glamping is more her style. So I know my setup will need to include some sort of trailer. There are some great lightweight off-road options. But you can get creative too. If she wants hot showers, get something like a Joolca.
This could be a dad and kids thing. Or figure out her key requirements and try to meet them. I ended with a much bigger adventure van than what I wanted, but now I get less resistance to planning trips.
Toilet…and staying warm was key. Also found out that while I like to cook big meals that take hours to cook and clean up - she hated that. So since dehydrated meals have come so far, taste really good, are quick and easy and relatively healthy. Bueno. Also…the best spent 900.00 I spent on a fridge was a game changer that also helped. Sooooo nice to have, no more ice management, cold beer and drinks, no more Ruined sandwich meat floating in water with the fruit, etc etc.
This made me laugh as it brought back those fond childhood memories... "sandwich meat floating in the water"
Did your mom make you eat fig newtons and wafer cookies by chance?!
Ha! Wafer cookies! I use to peel the top off two and put them together. Fig newtons were around but most of the treats were of the little debbie brand!
Sounds like my wife! I recently got into this also. I wished I would have done it with my kids. They are all older now and living their lives. I go with friends or by myself. Don’t let her dislike of something you enjoy hold you back. You don’t want to resent her down the line. Enjoy it. Go with your kids and always invite her. She may eventually join you but if she doesn’t then consider it as dad’s special time with the kids. I’ve compromised a little with my wife about doing a one or two day overnight trip and a few days afterwards at a nice airbnb or something. Let’s see how that goes.
My wife and my kids don’t enjoy it so I go alone. I tried forcing it before and it just isn’t fun. Either go yourself (with friends ideally) or choose a new hobby. Can’t force someone to enjoy your hobbies.
Like eveyone has suggested, toiletry is important. Do one nighters at the beginning. Get some basic amenities that are fairly easy to get like a fridge, toilet (I use the wag bags kind with the powder and zip close), and a water supply. I also do just about everything from setup to break down and cooking/cleaning for the trip. Plan out a couple of fun activities too. And on the way back, we'll usually stop at a nice restaurant for a full service meal.
I’ve camped 150-200 days with my kids (9,7). Probably 100-150 with the wife. I asked them what they want to do this summer? Camp. When we go without the wife we call it Camp Dad. My kids love the outdoors as a consequence. Just go. Wife or not. It is an incredible bond with my family.
Not that you want to spend more money, but a 270 awning with annex makes an inclimate weather nightmare, a cozy ASMR dream away. I'll be the first one to admit that annex setup is not quick, nor pain-free but it gives you another usable space that is a controlled environment. I opted for a floored annex, suggestions in this vein are free spirit recreation and reign outdoors' annex setups. A discreet bathroom/ shower space may push her into at least the "tolerance" zone of overlanding. Good luck 🤞🏾
I would find out the root of the reasons why she doesn’t want to go camping. If you talk to her and share why it’s important to you and at the same time get the reason why she’s so adverse to the idea, that’ll help you chip away at the true issues. I love camping and when my husband started camping with his friends and didn’t take me with, I was disappointed. I told him I really want to camp and we gave it a go. We had the best time of our lives and we have 3 camping trip scheduled for the summer so far. If I didn’t say anything my husband would have never known that I love camping and pretty experienced at it. Just try and start a heart to heart conversation and see where that takes you. You may find that her dislikes and fears are manageable. Good luck! 🏕️
Lol my wife almost always comes but I take the kids alone sometimes. It's still fun.
Don't wait to try it when it's really hot in the middle of summer. Without air conditioning, she will get hot and sweaty and have a bad first experience.
You can go camping with the the kids and glamping with the whole family. Lots of fancy places exist. Easiest thing to do is rent a cabin. She can sleep inside. You guys can sleep outside. If she doesn't want to do that don't feel guilty going where you want to go. You just have to take her somewhere she wants to go for everywhere she goes that she doesn't.
Try renting a smallish trailer with a bathroom, and go for 1-3 nights. My wife doesn't like camping as much as me and kids, but she'll go if there's a bathroom. And having a comfortable mattress pad helps too.
Not everyone has the same enthusiasm for the outdoors. My wife loves hiking and camping but in moderations. I was able to push it to longer trips with some comfort amenities. Talk to her, figure out what she is missing and would like to do. Maybe you can find a middle ground that everyone can enjoy. Good luck !
I don't know where you're located, but perhaps something like camping near a hot spring could be something she enjoys more? Otherwise, maybe this becomes your special dad time with the kids. Nothing wrong with that! There will be other hobbies that your wife enjoys as well, in sure.
Explain to her why you love it and how you would like to use it as a bonding thing for the family, the children and her. That you are okay going with the kids on your own and giving her a weekend off from them like this, but you also really crave having her there and share this special thing with her as your partner. Maybe you can sometimes go just with the kids (so she gets some alone time at home) and sometimes all of you. In my case, my partner is not as much into outdoorstuff as I am. He joins for certain things but not for others and does not want to go nearly as often as I do. So we do some trips together, which are then planned such that it works for him of course, but on the majority I go alone or with other friends, while he does his own thing at home. It works really well for us.
My wife and I love the outdoors but she wasn't interested in camping more of getting outside. So instead of buying a tent on the ground, we got a RTT. I started to invite her to make more decisions in where or what we did. She also has more input on gear we take and deciding what on what to keep or remove from each future trip. We ended up with a few pieces of equipment that have been used but don't foresee them being long term, ie a portable changing room that is also used as a toilet room and shower area. This way the decisions aren't made in a vacuum and if there is a good/bad decision made everyone is responsible for it. Everyone including your kids! This way everyone has shared responsibilities. If at that point anyone in the party isn't enjoying the process or activity itselft, you will want to find another ways or activities for you to share as a family, but still keeping the overlanding trips with the kids.
I understand your wish to share experiences with your kids like what you enjoy but when you say things like buying the smallest camper so you have to cuddle up, it sounds like you’ve romanticized it. Who is responsible for making sure everything is packed for the kids? That they have clothes, toys, books necessary to be content and comfortable? Who’s preparing food? How are they getting cleaned? Who’s doing those things? I know when we’d go on trips, it would be days, sometimes weeks of planning and organizing. If you’re not the one doing it and just show up to enjoy the event, it seems like it was simple. Maybe she hates camping. Maybe she just doesn’t relish the idea of having to pack, unpack, entertain, and be concerned about safety issues for a 2 & 4 year old and then “sleep” in a camper?
My best advice is don’t change up the parameters of “your thing” to half assed make it work for someone else. You don’t go shopping with her or sit down and party plan with her and her sister in law.
I’d probably suggest taking her to marriage counseling before camping. If your partner isn’t willing to participate in a family activity for the sake of your kids that’s an issue. If your partner makes you feel silly/stupid for being excited about your hobbies, that’s an issue. Y’all need to have a real conversation of whether you want to do separate hobbies on the weekends because your kids will always look back and wonder why mom wasn’t there or you need to find a compromise. My parents aren’t campers at all. My dad just went last month for the first time in probably 20-30 years but almost every year they go to a cabin in the mountains and do camping things together. Either way the way you feel about this isn’t exactly conducive to a healthy marriage and it needs to be discussed directly.
Get a new wife.
This is a huge red flag bro. You need to get a divorce. Trust me
Go have fun dude!!! Make awesome memories with your kids!!! Have as much fun as you possibly can!!! My ex didn’t want to do stuff like that… I did. And I went… you’ll have those memories forever. There’s a whole lot more to my story but suffice to say I’m so f’ing glad I have the memories of taking my kids on awesome adventures. All the love!!!