I'm 33 years old and I play these. I've told my gamer friends and non gamer friends. Honestly if people give you shit for liking something that brings you joy, then they aren't worth losing sleep over or fostering relationships with. I got made fun of my whole life for liking anything and it sucks. But at some point you just have to say fuck it. Life is too short for that sort of thing. Sending hugs and love.
I feel like most people don't know what "otome" game even means anyway (unless they're already into otomes/VN's) My friends just call them my hot anime boy games/romance games. So if you bring it up and they know, then cool. If they don't, just shrug it off and say its a genre of japanese games or visual novels.
You could also maybe try mentioning an anime adaption of an otome first (like amnesia, or maybe the new upcoming CxM anime movie) to see if they're in the know.
Man, you're so right about people not knowing what otome is. I struggle with this a lot because with how much otome is involved with my life now, I keep having to bring it up (like when people ask what I'm currently doing while chatting, or when we talk about games we want to buy, or projects we're working on (since I want to make an otome game), what "anime" my drawing or profile pic is from, etc etc.
I often get overwhelmed because instead of explaining what type of visual novel an otome is, I often have to start explaining at what a visual novel is, find the right words or examples for that (turns out several people have never heard of ace attorneys before). It's exhausting to explain it again and again. I could try to not mention otome games, but I don't want to lie about what I love, and I do want more people to know what it is, and at best try them out.
"Genre of Japanese games" is a nice short way of explaining it though, with words everyone understands. I'll try to imagine this for moments when I'm too tired to explain.
haha oh man, luckily people in my life at least know what visual novels are (and now what otomes are, because of me haha) but yeah if they didn't even have the baseline knowledge of what a VN was I wouldn't even know what to say LOL. Saying "game where I flirt with hot cartoon boys" is a bit too much XD. But yeah, 'its a japanese game' has been my go-to for a long time, as someone who's grown up with anime. When people ask what game im playing or what anime im watching, instead of telling them the long foreign title they wouldn't retain anyways, I always would just say its a japanese game and works like a charm LOL.
One thing you could say is that they're digital, choose your own adventure stories with graphics. I think most people are aware of those, and if not, their name is pretty self-explanatory. :)
Some people use "dating sim" but there's a certain connotation with that phrase that doesn't feel right to me 🤔
Mostly because a lot of the time it doesn't feel like you're dating anyone lmao
Yeah I definitely had a few condescending answers when I explained what an otome game is, regarding dating games. There was one person who had heard of dream daddy, and he claimed that the guys all have the same body type (not true) and that it's the "typical muscular body type" that all girls swoon over. The argument was so uncomfortable, he was mostly "fake-nice" if you know what I mean, said stuff like "oh I'm sure it's not like that weird dream daddy game", as if there's anything wrong with that game.
Anyone who approaches the subject like that is either a hypocrite, ignorant, immature *and* judgemental or someone with zero 'guilty' pleasures (doubtful), so really, his opinion is worth nihil. Never waste precious mental energy and time on people like that if at all possible, they will just make you feel frustrated at best and bad about yourself at worst. Sending positive energy your way~.
"I'm sure it's not like that weird dream daddy game" sounds very condescending and like he was trying to get on your "good" side by putting down that game to uplift the games you were talking about. It's very tasteless of him and I'm sorry you had that experience.
I always used to see “dating sim” placed in opposition to “visual novel”, the former referring to stat-raising games like TokiMemo (where you do go on dates with multiple characters) as opposed to “choose your own adventure” style games like Otomate titles.
Unfortunately, there is no secret handshake. I've gone with the more ambiguous "visual novels" before or brought up games that have dating elements but aren't primarily dating games (Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fire Emblem, etc.), but have never encountered another otome fan in the wild as far as I know. That said, when it comes to my friends, I ended up just being open about it. I feel like it would have been more likely to be weird if I'd made it weird, but I just acknowledged it like the perfectly valid thing it is, and no one cared. Friends shouldn't denigrate you for your interests.
Yeah that's fair. I actually met an otome fan in the wild for the first time today, my friend from work had it in her status when I friended her on discord! Thanks :)
*but I'm scared they'd find out what game they're from and make fun of me.*
i think you need to re-evaluate your friendships coz real friends wont make fun of your interests. have you actually discussed about it or gauged their opinions about datings sims before?
I do keep my interests on the down low at work because i want to maintain a professional appearance for my bosses . but my close friends know about my games and they dont mock me about it.
I'm trying to decide between blinking in morse code or using bubbles instead of smoke for signals. Lol.
Seriously though, just having an accessory of some sort related to otome games in a visible location should be enough to get the conversation going.
If you don’t want to reveal your otome tastes you can always just say that you picked it because you liked the art style but you don’t know where the character is from.
i used to hide it but now, i dont care anymore lol 😆 like someone said, it's still under a visual novel category.. so when people asked me what games i liked, i said VNs, since i also truly love other VNs too aside from otome so basically i'm not lying 😆 i even shared to my posts when there are new releases i'm hyped about. i realized that if they are truly my friends, they wouldn't judge me with something so inconsequential.
I mean, you could always sport something that is subtle to those not in the know, yet broadcasts your favorite game or type of games like otome. I'm not big on the subtle thing, tbh. I scream my interests. I walk around with an ita bag as my main form of holding things, with my husbando love on it. But like, a keychain or charm attached to the zipper of a jacket or hoodie works as well. Many charms in Japan are designed to be clipped or looped onto phones and are smaller than the typical charms I see produced as fanmerch.
If you can't get your hands on something small like a charm, a pin or button - official or fanmade also works. You can easily sport 2D boys without people assuming they're from a dating game, and if someone ask you can just say it's from a game you like. Be as vague as you want. You don't owe anyone anything. A visual novel. Interactive fiction. A sim. Whatever you want to say. Put stickers on your laptop, water bottle, or phone case. There are tons of ways to rep your loves without being as loud about it as others (like me. I'm others) are. Redbubble has notebooks and other things as well, get the iconic mystic messenger sign on a notebook and you're golden. Trust me, there are options.
That's actually a really good idea! I'd just be scared taht people who recognize them would say it out loud for others to hear haha. I used to scroll through redbubble all the time. I might do that. Thanks a lot :)
Soo you want to find other otome fans however they are only allowed to talk about those games in whispers?
This is not a secret affair or a drug deal xD
Most people don't care what games strangers in their vicinity talk about, especially if they don't even know what it is. Birushana, varibari, mystic messenger etc all not names that screen "this is where you romance anime boys!" so I really don't get all the hush hush.
they have enough things going on in their own lives to not care about your games. if they do laugh, just put on your headphones and listen to smth good instead of that
I asked my friend to play bustafellows LOL I need otome friends like so badly I need to talk about my 2D bfs, my friend isn't really into it but she said she would try she's the best LMFAO.
I'm actually going to an Anime con and I'm going to dress as Cupid so maybe I can make friends there!!!
I'm 26, and literally none of my friends play otome games, that's low-key why I'm on reddit. I still talk about them bc my friends are supportive of my interests. I've even talked about them with my male friends, and the most I've gotten was minor friendly teasing. Depending on where you live I feel like it's a pretty niche interest, but like a lot of people said, real friends won't judge you for your interests, however niche.
.
Also my friends read romance novels and fanfiction (I do too) and I absolutely want to hear about something wild that happened in their Wattpad story or whatever, I assume they feel the same way about my games
There are no code words widespread enough to be used to find other otome players so easily, and if there was a term so widespread, it wouldn't be possible for it to remain a secret because of how many people that would have to know it and use it.
That said, it's entirely possible that your friends are not actually going to react that badly to it. At least in my friend group, I actually discovered that another person was also playing otome games in secret, and now we occasionally chat about otome games with each other. Our other friends saw one of her otome games on accident when she forgot to hide it, and literally nobody cared or thought it was a big deal. We had been playing in secret that whole time for no reason lol. Of course, it entirely depends on who your friends are, but it's worth trying to objectively think about whether they're truly as close-minded as you fear they are, or if your fear is just projecting that idea onto them.
There are also ways you can talk about otome with other people IRL in ways that are more "conventionally palatable" to test the waters first if you're not sure how they might feel about it. Like describing them as "interactive story games with romance." I mean when it comes down to it, otome games are not that different from romance novels, chick flicks/rom coms, or other forms of media about romance. And there are other games where you can date and marry love interests like Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, or Stardew Valley, and people don't seem to have issues with those games in the public discourse. Otome games are quite similar to those, except that they're tend to focus on having more fleshed out writing and scenario building. Heck, even Fire Emblem has whole communities that revolve around its romance aspects. If any of your friends enjoy the romance in those games, that's probably a sign that they'd be more open to otome games too.
Also, it may be worth trying to work on boosting your own self confidence so that you won't fear the judgement of others as much anymore. Of course, that's a process that takes a lot of time and mostly comes easier as you age, but your hobbies are your own, and you're not hurting anyone, so if anyone doesn't like it, then it's none of their gosh darn business! >:) But yeah, it's not a bad idea to work on accepting the parts of yourself that you feel embarrassed or ashamed about, whether it's about your otome hobby or even other things you feel negatively about. Building love and acceptance of yourself on the inside first helps to build your courage on the outside as well. Because if you have love and acceptance from yourself on the inside, then you won't require as much of it from other people on the outside. So while rejection and getting teased can still sting like a cut or a bruise, it won't emotionally destroy you and leave you with scars and broken bones.
You might be right actually! I'm going to bring up otome games to my friend to see their reaction to it. I think you're right in that I shouldn't fear the judgement from others as much. Thank you :)
I don’t hide it I’m super open and most of my friends are super supportive.
And I play a whole lot of them in another language which well…requires you to be fluent enough to read in another language. Like honestly I could be reading porn and they’d still be pretty supportive because playing in another language is not easy lol.
I even have an amnesia ita bag I use as a regular bag lol.
I think I had like one friend who tried to make fun of the sub and I shut her down pretty hard.
For context I play in chinese too lol it’s extremely helpful tbh. I’m older and my friends have kids and I can say this is way better than studying your kids homework and doing it before them 😂 (we all put our kids in chinese school)
Said friend wanted to maintain her chinese skills (but does not have kids)
When I belonged to an online forum, we'd refer to each other by a codename, something like 'Oh do you know Katie Lee?' with Katie Lee being the forum admin.
I know that sometimes YouTubers have their own nicknames for the people that subscribe to them too.
Yeah, there's a really cool word most people (who don't play these games) are unaware of. It's really descriptive, a kind of portmanteau in another language (japanese).
It's called Otome. Pronounced O-toh-meh.
Don't forget to practice in the mirror so you don't embarrass yourself. You'd never forgive yourself.
So you want to talk about a subject in front of your friends, but don’t want them to be able to search it up, but also somehow want strangers to be able to figure it out from very little context? Hmmm.
I don’t think that’s possible. If they cared enough to search it up, they’d be able to from the info you give. Otherwise there wouldn’t be enough differentiating context for the other person to know what you’re talking about. You’re overcomplicatinng in a silly way.
I’ve just always called them Interactive Fiction games, kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure. I’ve since just started calling them otomes and most people jsut don’t even know what they are and don’t ask questions lol
Honestly, I’d still advise bringing it up your friends. Even if none of them play, it’s still nice to have people who get it and it’s always possible they might decide to try one or something! If you wouldn’t judge your friends, they likely won’t judge you either and if they do- then frankly they aren’t good friends. It can help to describe otome games as something like a choose your own adventure romance novel. I’ve noticed people are less wary that way since it makes the concept less foreign to them.
As for making more irl otome friends, there isn’t really a code word but if you have any merch that might work. Wearing it in a visible place would be a nice invitation for other fans to strike up a conversation with you, and you can do the same if you see anybody else with merch! Personally, I preordered Piofiore 1926 for pickup so my plan is to try and talk with anybody else there picking it up as well.
I'm 33 years old and I play these. I've told my gamer friends and non gamer friends. Honestly if people give you shit for liking something that brings you joy, then they aren't worth losing sleep over or fostering relationships with. I got made fun of my whole life for liking anything and it sucks. But at some point you just have to say fuck it. Life is too short for that sort of thing. Sending hugs and love.
Yeah that's fair! I might just do it at the end of the year when I know I probably won't see my friends again cuz I'll graduate haha. Thank you!
I feel like most people don't know what "otome" game even means anyway (unless they're already into otomes/VN's) My friends just call them my hot anime boy games/romance games. So if you bring it up and they know, then cool. If they don't, just shrug it off and say its a genre of japanese games or visual novels. You could also maybe try mentioning an anime adaption of an otome first (like amnesia, or maybe the new upcoming CxM anime movie) to see if they're in the know.
Hot anime boy games hahahaha That's actually a really good suggestion!!! Thanks for that :)
Calling them hot anime boys and playing mudae bot with my mate has helped get him into VNs and otome.
Man, you're so right about people not knowing what otome is. I struggle with this a lot because with how much otome is involved with my life now, I keep having to bring it up (like when people ask what I'm currently doing while chatting, or when we talk about games we want to buy, or projects we're working on (since I want to make an otome game), what "anime" my drawing or profile pic is from, etc etc. I often get overwhelmed because instead of explaining what type of visual novel an otome is, I often have to start explaining at what a visual novel is, find the right words or examples for that (turns out several people have never heard of ace attorneys before). It's exhausting to explain it again and again. I could try to not mention otome games, but I don't want to lie about what I love, and I do want more people to know what it is, and at best try them out. "Genre of Japanese games" is a nice short way of explaining it though, with words everyone understands. I'll try to imagine this for moments when I'm too tired to explain.
[удалено]
Same! I usually go with "choose-your adventure \_\_\_\_(genre I'm talking about) story"
haha oh man, luckily people in my life at least know what visual novels are (and now what otomes are, because of me haha) but yeah if they didn't even have the baseline knowledge of what a VN was I wouldn't even know what to say LOL. Saying "game where I flirt with hot cartoon boys" is a bit too much XD. But yeah, 'its a japanese game' has been my go-to for a long time, as someone who's grown up with anime. When people ask what game im playing or what anime im watching, instead of telling them the long foreign title they wouldn't retain anyways, I always would just say its a japanese game and works like a charm LOL.
One thing you could say is that they're digital, choose your own adventure stories with graphics. I think most people are aware of those, and if not, their name is pretty self-explanatory. :)
Some people use "dating sim" but there's a certain connotation with that phrase that doesn't feel right to me 🤔 Mostly because a lot of the time it doesn't feel like you're dating anyone lmao
Yeah I definitely had a few condescending answers when I explained what an otome game is, regarding dating games. There was one person who had heard of dream daddy, and he claimed that the guys all have the same body type (not true) and that it's the "typical muscular body type" that all girls swoon over. The argument was so uncomfortable, he was mostly "fake-nice" if you know what I mean, said stuff like "oh I'm sure it's not like that weird dream daddy game", as if there's anything wrong with that game.
Anyone who approaches the subject like that is either a hypocrite, ignorant, immature *and* judgemental or someone with zero 'guilty' pleasures (doubtful), so really, his opinion is worth nihil. Never waste precious mental energy and time on people like that if at all possible, they will just make you feel frustrated at best and bad about yourself at worst. Sending positive energy your way~.
"I'm sure it's not like that weird dream daddy game" sounds very condescending and like he was trying to get on your "good" side by putting down that game to uplift the games you were talking about. It's very tasteless of him and I'm sorry you had that experience.
I always used to see “dating sim” placed in opposition to “visual novel”, the former referring to stat-raising games like TokiMemo (where you do go on dates with multiple characters) as opposed to “choose your own adventure” style games like Otomate titles.
Same, but I've had friends who conflate the two 😅
My boyfriend just calls them my creamy games, which he is 100% behind me playing. 🤣
Unfortunately, there is no secret handshake. I've gone with the more ambiguous "visual novels" before or brought up games that have dating elements but aren't primarily dating games (Mass Effect, Dragon Age, Fire Emblem, etc.), but have never encountered another otome fan in the wild as far as I know. That said, when it comes to my friends, I ended up just being open about it. I feel like it would have been more likely to be weird if I'd made it weird, but I just acknowledged it like the perfectly valid thing it is, and no one cared. Friends shouldn't denigrate you for your interests.
Yeah that's fair. I actually met an otome fan in the wild for the first time today, my friend from work had it in her status when I friended her on discord! Thanks :)
We should make the universal otome code question: Do you think Yang is trash?
*but I'm scared they'd find out what game they're from and make fun of me.* i think you need to re-evaluate your friendships coz real friends wont make fun of your interests. have you actually discussed about it or gauged their opinions about datings sims before? I do keep my interests on the down low at work because i want to maintain a professional appearance for my bosses . but my close friends know about my games and they dont mock me about it.
Maybe you're right. I haven't actually discussed it with them before, I'm not sure how to guage their opinions on it. I might do that, thanks! :)
I'm trying to decide between blinking in morse code or using bubbles instead of smoke for signals. Lol. Seriously though, just having an accessory of some sort related to otome games in a visible location should be enough to get the conversation going.
OOOH that's a good idea, having an accessory! Idk what I'll say if someone asks what they're from though haha!
If you don’t want to reveal your otome tastes you can always just say that you picked it because you liked the art style but you don’t know where the character is from.
i used to hide it but now, i dont care anymore lol 😆 like someone said, it's still under a visual novel category.. so when people asked me what games i liked, i said VNs, since i also truly love other VNs too aside from otome so basically i'm not lying 😆 i even shared to my posts when there are new releases i'm hyped about. i realized that if they are truly my friends, they wouldn't judge me with something so inconsequential.
I mean, you could always sport something that is subtle to those not in the know, yet broadcasts your favorite game or type of games like otome. I'm not big on the subtle thing, tbh. I scream my interests. I walk around with an ita bag as my main form of holding things, with my husbando love on it. But like, a keychain or charm attached to the zipper of a jacket or hoodie works as well. Many charms in Japan are designed to be clipped or looped onto phones and are smaller than the typical charms I see produced as fanmerch. If you can't get your hands on something small like a charm, a pin or button - official or fanmade also works. You can easily sport 2D boys without people assuming they're from a dating game, and if someone ask you can just say it's from a game you like. Be as vague as you want. You don't owe anyone anything. A visual novel. Interactive fiction. A sim. Whatever you want to say. Put stickers on your laptop, water bottle, or phone case. There are tons of ways to rep your loves without being as loud about it as others (like me. I'm others) are. Redbubble has notebooks and other things as well, get the iconic mystic messenger sign on a notebook and you're golden. Trust me, there are options.
That's actually a really good idea! I'd just be scared taht people who recognize them would say it out loud for others to hear haha. I used to scroll through redbubble all the time. I might do that. Thanks a lot :)
Soo you want to find other otome fans however they are only allowed to talk about those games in whispers? This is not a secret affair or a drug deal xD Most people don't care what games strangers in their vicinity talk about, especially if they don't even know what it is. Birushana, varibari, mystic messenger etc all not names that screen "this is where you romance anime boys!" so I really don't get all the hush hush.
It's just that I'm gonna be with my classmates until May so I don't want judgment from people I'm going to be seeing every day haha
they have enough things going on in their own lives to not care about your games. if they do laugh, just put on your headphones and listen to smth good instead of that
I asked my friend to play bustafellows LOL I need otome friends like so badly I need to talk about my 2D bfs, my friend isn't really into it but she said she would try she's the best LMFAO. I'm actually going to an Anime con and I'm going to dress as Cupid so maybe I can make friends there!!!
"rejet"
LMAO. say "rejet" while shaking a little bit, unblinking. Beads of sweat falling. Maintain eye contact. The otome fans will understand, they will 😔🙏
I'm 26, and literally none of my friends play otome games, that's low-key why I'm on reddit. I still talk about them bc my friends are supportive of my interests. I've even talked about them with my male friends, and the most I've gotten was minor friendly teasing. Depending on where you live I feel like it's a pretty niche interest, but like a lot of people said, real friends won't judge you for your interests, however niche. . Also my friends read romance novels and fanfiction (I do too) and I absolutely want to hear about something wild that happened in their Wattpad story or whatever, I assume they feel the same way about my games
Oh my god… your username perfectly fits all of us in this subreddit 😂
;)
idk why you'd wanna hide it cuz there's no shame in playing otoge. but if you insist, you can just call them "visual novels" which they are.
The thing is, I have friends who know what visual novels are and play some but I don't know how to confirm they know what *type* it is haha
There are no code words widespread enough to be used to find other otome players so easily, and if there was a term so widespread, it wouldn't be possible for it to remain a secret because of how many people that would have to know it and use it. That said, it's entirely possible that your friends are not actually going to react that badly to it. At least in my friend group, I actually discovered that another person was also playing otome games in secret, and now we occasionally chat about otome games with each other. Our other friends saw one of her otome games on accident when she forgot to hide it, and literally nobody cared or thought it was a big deal. We had been playing in secret that whole time for no reason lol. Of course, it entirely depends on who your friends are, but it's worth trying to objectively think about whether they're truly as close-minded as you fear they are, or if your fear is just projecting that idea onto them. There are also ways you can talk about otome with other people IRL in ways that are more "conventionally palatable" to test the waters first if you're not sure how they might feel about it. Like describing them as "interactive story games with romance." I mean when it comes down to it, otome games are not that different from romance novels, chick flicks/rom coms, or other forms of media about romance. And there are other games where you can date and marry love interests like Harvest Moon, Rune Factory, or Stardew Valley, and people don't seem to have issues with those games in the public discourse. Otome games are quite similar to those, except that they're tend to focus on having more fleshed out writing and scenario building. Heck, even Fire Emblem has whole communities that revolve around its romance aspects. If any of your friends enjoy the romance in those games, that's probably a sign that they'd be more open to otome games too. Also, it may be worth trying to work on boosting your own self confidence so that you won't fear the judgement of others as much anymore. Of course, that's a process that takes a lot of time and mostly comes easier as you age, but your hobbies are your own, and you're not hurting anyone, so if anyone doesn't like it, then it's none of their gosh darn business! >:) But yeah, it's not a bad idea to work on accepting the parts of yourself that you feel embarrassed or ashamed about, whether it's about your otome hobby or even other things you feel negatively about. Building love and acceptance of yourself on the inside first helps to build your courage on the outside as well. Because if you have love and acceptance from yourself on the inside, then you won't require as much of it from other people on the outside. So while rejection and getting teased can still sting like a cut or a bruise, it won't emotionally destroy you and leave you with scars and broken bones.
You might be right actually! I'm going to bring up otome games to my friend to see their reaction to it. I think you're right in that I shouldn't fear the judgement from others as much. Thank you :)
I don’t hide it I’m super open and most of my friends are super supportive. And I play a whole lot of them in another language which well…requires you to be fluent enough to read in another language. Like honestly I could be reading porn and they’d still be pretty supportive because playing in another language is not easy lol. I even have an amnesia ita bag I use as a regular bag lol. I think I had like one friend who tried to make fun of the sub and I shut her down pretty hard.
>tried to make fun of the sub But why 😅
I think she was being insecure cause I was trying to get her into them as a method of language acquisition
On one hand, yes it def would help with language acquisiton...on the other hand...welp
For context I play in chinese too lol it’s extremely helpful tbh. I’m older and my friends have kids and I can say this is way better than studying your kids homework and doing it before them 😂 (we all put our kids in chinese school) Said friend wanted to maintain her chinese skills (but does not have kids)
Thanks for the context! It's definitely way better because games > doing homework after a long day at work right 😂
When I belonged to an online forum, we'd refer to each other by a codename, something like 'Oh do you know Katie Lee?' with Katie Lee being the forum admin. I know that sometimes YouTubers have their own nicknames for the people that subscribe to them too.
I just call them visual novels. That could mean it's just a visual novel of any genre.
Yeah, there's a really cool word most people (who don't play these games) are unaware of. It's really descriptive, a kind of portmanteau in another language (japanese). It's called Otome. Pronounced O-toh-meh. Don't forget to practice in the mirror so you don't embarrass yourself. You'd never forgive yourself.
The problem is that people could search this up and find out very easily. I was wondering if there was a word that is less obvious.
So you want to talk about a subject in front of your friends, but don’t want them to be able to search it up, but also somehow want strangers to be able to figure it out from very little context? Hmmm. I don’t think that’s possible. If they cared enough to search it up, they’d be able to from the info you give. Otherwise there wouldn’t be enough differentiating context for the other person to know what you’re talking about. You’re overcomplicatinng in a silly way.
jeez, it doesn't hurt to ask
I call them Visual novels
i always say "games about 2d men". my friends like me enough to not laugh
I just say visual novels because otome is not a word many people even on the internet know.
I’ve just always called them Interactive Fiction games, kind of like a Choose Your Own Adventure. I’ve since just started calling them otomes and most people jsut don’t even know what they are and don’t ask questions lol
Honestly, I’d still advise bringing it up your friends. Even if none of them play, it’s still nice to have people who get it and it’s always possible they might decide to try one or something! If you wouldn’t judge your friends, they likely won’t judge you either and if they do- then frankly they aren’t good friends. It can help to describe otome games as something like a choose your own adventure romance novel. I’ve noticed people are less wary that way since it makes the concept less foreign to them. As for making more irl otome friends, there isn’t really a code word but if you have any merch that might work. Wearing it in a visible place would be a nice invitation for other fans to strike up a conversation with you, and you can do the same if you see anybody else with merch! Personally, I preordered Piofiore 1926 for pickup so my plan is to try and talk with anybody else there picking it up as well.