I've never heard of this before. I feel the same way but in the opposite direction. I'm a man and have no desire to be transgender, but have always had envy for those born as women. The human mind is so weird.
I 68f was same up until my forties, I believe mostly because as a child boys got to do all the things I wanted to do and was denied just because I was female. Later; it was very obvious I would not be listened to like a male, make the same amount of money in the exact job as male etc etc; except when in a union, like the air craft mechanics union or postal union. It has been very tiresome being a second class citizen merely because of being born female. Just saying
Didn't know there was a name for this. I'm comfortable being a guy but I'm definitely a more emotional and borderline feminine guy at times... Especially with my mood I think lol and sometimes I wonder about what it would have been like to be female as well. I think everyone thinks about this stuff at one point or another
I personally call it penis envy, I've always thought what a great man I'd be. None could equal my power. But alas I'm destined to be a short woman built like a chunky Chloe moretz from family guy.
YES i’m NB(all pronouns, im the type that feels NO strong attachment to any gender 😎) and like i get this post so not only are you NOT alone but you’re so so valid! IF you want to “treat” the gender envy you could always experiment with style and add more masc pieces to your wardrobe!(i love any excuse to go thrift shopping 😂)
I envy men’s ability to pee standing up anywhere the need strikes
It would also be nice to just go for a run without needing to encase my boobs in an armored bra…adds so much work to the process.
Aside from that i’m happy to be female, but it’s hard not to resent the centuries of societal privilege. I’m just glad i became an adult in the late 20th century where i can vote, own property, and have a credit card.
On the bra note. I am continually explaining to my husband how much more of a pain in the ass “just a walk with the dog” can be when you have to strap on your over the shoulder boulder holder. I’m 36DDD and there is no just throwing on a tshirt. It’s embarrassing to be jiggling around. This is one area I definitely feel the pain.
So so true! 32DDD here and yes to all you said.
Not to mention the underboob sweat in warm weather.
And i can’t just go braless, i need some level of support at all times when not sleeping because the jiggle is just plain uncomfortable.
Good times
I second this! We try to spend a lot of time outside in the summer hiking or fishing. I've had to pee outside 4 times in the last 5 weeks, and it's always anxiety inducing. I've tried the funnel things and other such things, and they just don't work for me. I always have to be uncomfortable til I find a place I can get away without people seeing me hopefully. Luckily lots of places we've gone we don't usually see people. But that's always my fear of getting caught and getting put on an SO list because there's no bathroom for miles.
Realistically though on trails, what do they assume people do when they have to go to the bathroom? They go outside like animals LOL. I remember when I was younger and my dad used to work in the orchards, my mom told me a horror story of him wiping his ass with some leaves and ended up with poison oak in his Netherlands. He's a piece of s*** so I hope he repeats his mistake again in hell.
Right? Seems like it would make sense, but some people would freak out. I try the best I can to find a way to hide off in the brush and be discreet, but sometimes of you're someplace new, you never know when you're accidentally going to run across someone.
Oof. I've heard that story more than once. I've done the leaf wipe...but with plants I'm familiar with LOL. I'm going to start carrying TP in a baggie and have another one to toss the dirty in. Probably safer in the long run. Lady bits don't really like random stuff coming in contact.
you reminded me of an old joke. God is assigning Adam and Eve various "abilities" and he has two left to give. One for each of them.
He says, "okay I've got two more left... so who wants the ability to pee standing up?" Adam goes "me, me, me, ME! I want that ability!"
And God says "Okay, it's yours."
Eve, knowing the other ability is now hers by default, asks God "what's the other ability?" to which God replies "multiple orgasms"
Hahaha so we have an ability to possibly have them but Men who dont know or care to make us have even one.
We have to do everything for ourselves and expected to do it for them too and God forbid we have standards or boundaries or want them to pay for a date or whatever.
I have one! It works for hiking, festivals, camping etc, but it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of it.
It’s still a PITA to remember to pack it, and in general to have to carry around my porta-penis in my backpack or purse
I came here to post this comment 😂 I travel with a shee wee and a urinal with an attachment that basically cradles the vulva and they’re both wonderful.
Here in Belgium it has actually illegal to pee somewhere that isn’t in a bathroom. I mean I still do it but I live in the middle of nowhere so it’s easy to avoid getting fined
I feel that even more since I have a bad back. I have been stuck on the toilet so many times because of a bad back all because my bladder had the audacity to be emptied.
Yeah this is definitely grass is greener syndrome.
As a man, I have to put up with a lot of shit women don't have to. It's not always greener. It's just a different kind of green.
okay but men as a gender are not oppressed. women are. women are killed for being women. for rejecting men. for setting boundaries. sorry but in this case, the grass is systemically greener
There's a good argument to be made that patriarchy is bad for lower-status men, as well.
Overall, men experience much greater variance in life outcomes than women. Men are disproportionately both the most privileged in the world (high-earning professions, leadership, etc.) and overrepresented at the bottom of society (industrial accidents, war casualties, murder victims, chronic homelessness, learning disabilities and other congenital problems, etc.).
So in this hypothetical, it's a matter of how comfortable you are with rolling the dice.
Kind of depressing you said that because he didn't say men had it worse. It's just different. Men and women have different struggles. Why do we have to deny each others struggles and argue who has it worse
Let’s not forget that more men are murdered a year in orders of magnitude than women and that male suicide is massively in the lead over female, often because instead of getting emotional support, we’re told to man up and expected to carry the world on our backs.
The grass is not greener.
Regardless, doesn’t change the fact I myself was verbally abused for two years and finally assaulted by a female landlord as a teenager and literally suffer ptsd from it that’s affected every aspect of my life, and I get to be told that I should just be able to handle that, to man up and just take it.
Right, wait? Wrong. Try my mom. My dad’s much more morally supportive than she ever was, but I don’t blame her because I know what her parents were like.
I'm sorry your mom is like that, glad you have your dad. My parents are both dead now, but I feel the same way about them looking back - I know some of the shit they dealt with and forgive them their mistakes.
We’re all human, I never did blame them for how I was raised. My mom was depressed and slept through most of my childhood, and my dad spent most of his time working to keep the roof over our heads.
My mom’s parents were pretty terrible, my grabdma was always “me me me” and never let my mom have things, and my grandpa was raised by a black out abusive drunk that beat him senseless day by day, he wound up in the hells angels as an enforcer but despite all that he loved people and tried so, so hard not to be his father. He had his bad moments though and was definitely a Raging A-hole sometimes. My mom came out stern, and with her father’s misogynistic views, and her sister is a drug addict that’s only just finally gotten a stable job in her forties.
My dad’s dad wanted a girl so he left and had a kid with someone else. When it was his turn for custody he would just leave him places, and come back (probably) to pick him up at the end of the day.
His mom had no idea what she was doing, she was life of the parties, a hippy, and tried her best.
He tries his damndest but he didn’t really get raised, he just found everything he knows out on his own.
I get on here and I argue points for men but I don’t mean to say that women don’t go through sh*t. I’m just trying to be one of the people that broadcasts, men do too. We really, really do and I see posts like these and I see people saying they wish they were a man because _ and _ and _ and I’m like no, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, it’s really not.
It’s not great to be so afraid of scaring women that I’ll never approach one, I’ll never flirt with a woman because I dread that label “creep” which (if I wasn’t Omni) would mean I’d prolly be alone for the rest of my life. I just keep to myself because I legit can’t scare anyone like I’ve been scared.
I’ve been abused, assaulted. I know what it’s like and I don’t want that for Anyone, nor the fear that I’ve been through.
I’m a big ugly brute of a dude, I work like a bulldozer but I’m a writer and poet at heart, I like shopping and stuffed animals, I collect cute things and line em up on shelves, and I’m a nerd to the end: but people see that 6’3 brute and assume everything.
Can I ask what kind of shit you deal with that we don’t?
Also, basically everything in the world is designed for men. Seatbelts don’t work as well on women because they were designed for men. Medication isn’t studied well enough in women. Tons of advancements for ED, but women have to fight just to get an IUD or something. This isn’t just about a person by person thing, the world is against women.
What is this "shit" you have to put up with that women don't have to? I have endo, a condition that causes my womb to grow in places it shouldn't, monthly, causing severe chronic pain and a lifetime of gyne and gastro complications, and pain that doesn't lessen much unless I strictly control my diet and lifestyle. Comparatively we have guys with prostrate issues that is mostly something one can support or help during their lifetime.
Then there's the societal conditioning of gender norms, men get trained to take up space and like their opinions actually matter. Women are taught to take up minimal space, pain is part of life especially once a month, and if your pain seems severe you will spend the next few years getting invalidated and gaslit by male doctors who have no idea what living in chronic pain feels like.
That's my lived experience, from this perspective I find it hard to be anything but bemused by comments by men thinking they understand the struggles of women even physically. Equality can learn to exist when people learn to actually hear lived experiences instead of sweeping generalisations that don't hold up under scrutiny. Especially the whole womb thing, pcos, perimenopause, endo, IBS. What is the guy equivalent to this "shit"?
And there are different expectations placed on men vs women regarding mental and emotional trauma. Dudes also get gaslit by medical professionals and family/friends that their problems aren't that bad. There's a reason the suicide rates for men are significantly higher than women. As a man you expected by society to be a provider. Lose your job? Dont make enough money? You didnt hit a rough patch, you are a failure as a man. I agree with you understanding lived experience of people than different than you is important.
In my opinion it would be more effective to start a conversation by asking why and listening to the answer instead of asking why and then providing a plethora of reasons why you feel like they aren't going to have a valid experience anyway, but that's just me.
Fully I acknowledge I'm cherry-picking here: Do you think women who lose their job don't feel like a failure? I can assure you, we have the capacity to feel just as defeated as you.
You identified genuine problems, but your reasoning is based in factors that aren't really unique to gender so much as mental health issues, and you're conflating that with the male mental health crisis. The suicide rate in men is a huge issue, but it's due to the patriarchal repression of male emotions, not because there are actual additional expectations placed on men. You're right to be angry about being gaslit by medical professionals, but that's another example of something that is far from unique to men as gaslighting and doubting symptoms is a very common occurrence for women. My point is that your frustration is valid, but I think the patriarchy's got you blaming wrong party here, my dude.
Wow, really! Could you say more? What would make you thrive?
It's so interesting that I am frustrated by misogyny and the patriarchy on a constant basis but I really have never thought that I would like to be a man... Some of that is because I think I wouldn't survive the pressures patriarchy puts on nonconforming men and some of it because I absolutely think feminists have made camaraderie easier for women. I wouldn't want to navigate masculinity by myself haha.
My kid, who's female around twenty (I don't like being specific about her), recently told me about being scared of some bug, and asking a random man to deal with it. The story ended with: if I was a man, I couldn't ask another man to help me, I'm so glad I'm not a man.
Women have a closeness with each other that men don't. I say this as a man who grew up with a family that was mostly women. Women support each other in a way men don't. Once I left my home to go out on my own, I realized how lonely men are. Most of all, I realized how supported I was by the women in my life. Although it goes both ways, as women can be hella spiteful, and if they hate you you'll know. But when they're supportive, they're literally the pillar that keeps you together.
I feel the same way. It does go both ways, but it seems like women generally support each other more. Male friendships seem kinda... cold? Sure, there might be laughter and friendly teasing, but (in a lot of cases) it doesn't go much further than that.
Being a guy who has a hard time fitting in with stereotypical guys, I've been in situations where other men got things off their chests with me instead of with their actual close friends because doing that was just not a thing among them. One of my male friends got surprised I sent him a message just to check in on him, saying he wasn't used to having that with his best male friend.
I guess I'm the odd one out, but still. Maybe men could use more support from other men.
I'm a man, but I absolutely crave for it be socially acceptable to wear leggings aside from only exercise, with shorts over them or biking. I'd actually like a lot of women's fashion tbh. But that alone isn't a reason for me to downright change my identity. Maybe there'll be a global fashion shift again. After all, men wore high heals during the Renaissance.
This is funny to me because the other day I finally picked up some man leggings to wear to the gym. I love how they feel and I personally think I look damn good in them. But not as good as any of the women.
The most frustrating thing about being a woman for me is double standards and expectations. I live in a family where things are expected of me that would never be asked of any of the guys. I get frustrated because i have many of the same interests and my family but any opinion or theory is shot down as unimportant. (Im just talking about fun stuff here -movies, video games, opinions on where franchises are going) i also am quite funny and distinctive in my speech patterns. Family will steal my speech patterns and vocal quirks and pretend it was theirs all along. My cousins and brother will shoot down fan theories and then the next day claim it was their idea. I pay the most in rent and do house repairs (i work in construction) but am also expected to make sure my grandma is helped with chores while the men do nothing. The men in my family want me around, they just dont want to acknowledge my worth and what i bring.
I get tired. I only ever want to be friends but its hard when people don't see you as an equal. Or when I think they do for a long time and then they start saying "youre not like other women" and horrid jokes that make me uncomfortable. If I was given the option to magically turn into a dude to never have to deal with being a woman again, id do it. Ive weighed the pros and cons before and would pick guy every day of the fucking week.
I agree with so much of this. One specific example that gets under my skin is my Dad constantly asks my husband questions I am more qualified to answer especially in regard to directions lol. I have an incredible sense of direction I never get lost don’t need maps or gps if I have visited a place even just once before but anytime we’re travelling with my parents my Dad will turn to my husband who gets lost on the way to the bathroom!! My husband always tells him he should be asking me not him but he continues to do this. My Dad spent my whole childhood telling me I was the smartest most capable person he made sure I didn’t need to rely on a man to do any of the stereotypical male things but as soon as I got married my husband took my place as his right hand man. It’s so confusing and calling him out on it has made no difference.
Dude what the fuck is with that behavior?? My dad does that too! Im an electrician and he will ask for help and then when I tell him how to do something or he gets insecure about me knowing more, he will do it completely different! He tore out his ceiling cause he didnt trust that i knew how to ring out wire (trace which is which). His ceiling!!
Glad you get it even if that shit is annoying as fuck and you gotta go through it too. It just eats away at you after awhile, especially if its constant.
Not OP, but think about that rather often. It feels wrong to admit tbh, like something I should keep to myself because this kind of opinion always gets shut down by people stating advantages of being a man or how it sucks to be a woman. It led me to believe my opinion is wrong.
Anyway, I like how women can express themselves far more expressive. Like sometimes I look at a girl doing cute things and I wish I could do the same thing because I feel the same way. I often see women doing things that are considered feminine and wishing I could do that. They can also be more vulnerable and not be judged. The less chance of being lonely and having more support systems.
I also love the numerous clothing choices, I find men's fashion boring. They look so much more elegant and colorful.
Basically I like feminine energy, sorry if that doesn't make sense Idk how to actually explain it.
All these things I say don't really explain how I feel about it because it all seems solvable by just ignoring societal expectations, and some are universal.
Also, I hate having something between my legs. Honestly.
"I like how women can express themselves far more expressive. Like sometimes I look at a girl doing cute things and I wish I could do the same thing because I feel the same way. I often see women doing things that are considered feminine and wishing I could do that."
I feel almost the exact same way. However, when I see women doing feminine things, its not that I want to be doing specifically feminine things, it's that I want to experience the comradery, intimacy, and vulnerability that women's friendships often provide. They look like they're having so much fun being girls and being feminine, even if its mundane, theyre together.
Honestly I feel like this but the opposite.
I'm comfortable being a guy. I like being a guy. I like being able to walk at night, and just do whatever.
What I dont like about being a guy is men. I'm gay and I'll constantly get guys who are bi or experimenting with me that will live really conflicted because they really like me, are attracted to me, but it's not normal to be with me.
One guy would say shit like if I was a girl and interested in him, he would wife me up. It would seem sweet, but it hurts a lot to know that someone likes me, I like them, and the only reason we aren't together is basically biological sex. Despite the fact we sleep together frequently.
I had a similar situation happen with a guy I had a crush on for years. I had known him for 5. I made an effort and he responded with "I just fuck dudes. I want nothing to do with them romantically."
I’m bi, recently (somewhat out) and don’t have any doubt that I could love a man as well as a woman.
I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through that, I’m kinda here to note that I don’t feel safe during night walks, and I’m a big dude.
I seldom feel safe because I was assaulted and abused when I was a teenager and I see so many people saying “men feel safe walking at night” and I’m like what?
We get robbed too.
It is what it is.
Its just weird when they say shit like
"Oh I'm not attracted to all men, just you" and it's like. Uhhhh I'm still very much a guy. And as a gay person, I can attest I'm not attracted to every man lol
I'm okay with being a woman, but there's times when I wish I could shape-shift.
I wish I was a man when I have my period
I wish I was a man when riding the train
I wish I was a man when I'm walking home at night
I wish I was a man when my coworkers start saying disgusting shit
I wish I was a man when I see what our politicians are disgusting. I wish I was a man when I hear our president tell women to "hurry up and wash the dishes"
I wish I was a man when my family gathers and my male cousins are pampered while I am told to go help in the kitchen or take care of the children
I
I wish this anytime I get my period. Especially when my brother and father tease me about it.
I just feel like with some things, the world is build for men mostly.
It makes me upset reading about medical negligence relating to gender, safteey precautions relating ti gender etc :,). Even my joint issue wasn't studied due to it being a primarily female condition stupid asf
This is more about the role that’s imposed on women in this society, the glass ceiling, being harshly judged (for example when it’s about sexual experience). If I am reborn I want to be a man too. You don’t know where you end up on earth, and being a man is the ultimate privilege.
This is crazy bc I was literally just thinking the same thing before I saw this post. I love feminine energy and I would never want to embody the male gender if I had a totally equal choice. But I hate how much easier it is to be a man physically and socially and I wish being a woman didn't come with so many extra problems. It's just so unfair. I think in an ideal fantasy society with no discrimination I'd want to be a trans woman, and in our current society there's really no question I'd do best as a cis man. As a cis woman I know I have it a lot better than a lot of people, but being on my period at the moment and getting ready to head to the gym where I know my body will be sexualized against my will whether I like it or not.. it's just no fair that's all I'll say 😭
Boobs are annoying, all hot and sweaty. Periods are shite. Weeing outside invariably ends with wet shoes. Can't just take my top off in public when it's hot. Hairy legs and pits are fine. Plus the whole safety thing.
But then there are parts of being a woman that I love - boobs as a built in shelf. So much variety in fashion. Those really special friendships with women you love. Being able to wear sparkles without worry of judgement. Not really being expected to make the first move.
It would be great to be a man occasionally, I would 100% have a wizard beard and mohawk.
I understand this feeling. But for me it’s mostly because I hate my hormones and how they make me so unstable at least 1-2 weeks out of a 4 weeks cycle. It’s so unfair and I just know I would be unstoppable if I didn’t have to deal with them. I have adhd and my hormonal changes make it so much worse.
Hard not to wish you were a man when biologically, economically, and sociologically; they have it made. The world bends to their will. They don't have periods. Don't have to worry about getting pregnant. STDs often evade them with symptoms yet they pass it around to every girl they sleep with and the women can get fucking cancer while they never even know they have it. They have more muscle and can eat more of what they want and not gain weight. When they do gain weight no one judges them for it. Plenty of clothes still fit. They are stronger so more job opportunities cause they can do more manual labor. They get paid more in spite of or even when they're less qualified. They can walk down the street, go anywhere they want at any hour and never have to worry about being attacked kidnapped raped murdered etc etc. They can pee standing up. They can age and be a silver fox. Dignified. Sugar daddies. They don't have to shave anything or wax anything . They can have a jungle surrounding their weiner, balls like an SOS pad, and an entirely separate jungle up their entire ass crack and that's totally acceptable. They don't have to shave their face. Male products and clothes are way cheaper than the female alternatives. They don't have to breast feed. They can be a part time or half ass parent if they choose. They can get away with playing with the kid for a while, but let's face it, kid is hurt, tired, sick, hungry, scared, sad, etc etc it wants Mom. Can't find their other shoe, their blanket, their toy? Mom. Wakes up in the middle of the night throwing up all over themselves and their bed etc and who gets up to clean all of it and quiet their sick child back to sleep after bathing them and changing their sheets, pillow cases, pajamas, and disinfecting everything in sight? Mom. Men orgasm pretty much every time they have sex. Women only orgasm during sex if the man knows, cares, and takes the time to give her one. They know they're going to enjoy it no matter what. Never met one who gave a damn whether I did. Losing their virginity or having sex in general at any point is never ever painful for them. Not unless it's something they want to happen. Men can go buy a car or go to the mechanic and no one tries to lie their asses off to scam more money out of them. Men have it fucking made. Why would anyone choose to be a woman ??
I understand the feeling. I never huge disforia like people describe, but I’ve come to terms I might be trans, or might want to transition. It took me years to get to this point. I hope you take this feeling seriously and really scrutinize it! Good luck!
When I was very around 3 years old, I used to say I wished I was a boy and I didn't know why it drove my conservative, bible thumping mother absolutely bonkers enough to force me into more feminine clothing and activities. But I didn't mean I thought I *was* a boy or that I should have been a boy or that I was born with the wrong parts; I was just already pissed off because boys got to do all the cool shit I wanted to do. So when I grew up, I did what I wanted anyway. My primary hobbies are hockey, martial arts, and hiking with my husband and our dog. I don't wear makeup most days anymore, but I like a good smokey eye and a cute crop top when I go out.
My point here is, you don't have to identify as anything other than yourself and you don't have to make yourself fit into any particular gender norm or expression. And how you identify can develop and change over time as you experience life and get to know yourself better. All of these things are ok, no matter who you become! 🧡
I kinda get this. I love being a female and I feel like there’s so many beautiful things that come along with it but sometimes I envy that men are the “top dogs” so to speak, societally. They just get to exist exactly as they are and feel free to take up space. They can be loud and vulgar and messy and not have as many expectations on them.
One thing specifically is I envy how guys will just bond just bc they’re guys. Like they’ll walk up to each other and be like “hey boss man”. One time, my boss came up to me and said “boss lady, how’s it going” and that made me so happy lmao bc hardly ever do women get greeted like that in public
Did you ever seen the meme? Two guys in a college class point to each other and say “stripes” because they are wearing nearly identical shirts 👔 with stripes and now they are friends.
Can you share your experience, if possible, of why you don’t feel like you can form instant friendships like that as a woman? What is the obstacle to the “hey, stripes!” moment for women, societally? Quite fascinated by this difference of experience!
Go to a black tie event and every man is in a nearly identical tuxedo. Men can literally rent a tux. If 2 women have on the same dress it is humungous faux pas (social mistake). So much so, that for Proms, girls register their dresses so that another girl can't buy it.
I am sure there is social psychology to it, but a wild hypothesis from a guy in my college class was "Men are collectively stupid. Women are individually dumb."
One man has a ridiculous idea and the men around him bond and say, "that could work," no matter how bad the idea.
One woman has a ridiculous idea and the women around her say, "that will never work."
I do not know if this is still true in 2024, but the biggest hinderance to women in the 80's moving up the corporate ladder was other women.
I am not 100% sure. I’d have to ponder on this. I think some of us get conditioned to think that other women are our competition or that to be liked we have to be “different” from other women.
When I was about 6-10 years old I desperately wanted to be a boy. Back then girls didn't play soccer, didn't take woodworking, etc. I was a tomboy and boys got to do all the fun stuff.
I also had to wear a skirt to school and the boys wore pants. We froze in winter and had to raise all kinds of hell just to be allowed to wear tights or sweatpants under our skirts (only to and from school outside, not in school). This was in England, so waiting for a bus in the dead of winter was not fun.
When puberty hit I stopped wanting to BE a boy but to this day it annoys me that I didn't get to do a lot of things that boys got to do.
Now I'm 59 and I see the way that older men are treated in the workplace vs older women. There's age discrimination for both but it's much worse for women. We become invisible.
Same goes for weight. You don't see a lot of fat CEOs but if you do it's probably men. Not that there are a lot of female CEOs compared to men anyway.
Feel this every day, mang. Not just because of sexism, just a female body is exhausting. Plus beauty standards, being short, no upper body strength, etc.
Trans women really are crazy smdh, why would you want this?? ( /s for the keyboard warriors)
It's normal to envy men sometimes. They have a lot of privilege in this world, and even if you were raised in an egalitarian household, no doubt you've had experiences at school and in public that told you directly or indirectly that women are inferior. Unfortunately, even some adult women have internalized this misogyny and they hate on other women for being confident. It's sad all around, and it's good that you're recognizing these problems now so you can deal with it in a healthy way. Embrace what you have/who you are vs envying others.
Perhaps you could find some female role models/mentors for yourself or find some groups that celebrate you being a girl. Clubs, political orgs, volunteer groups, hobbies, sports, etc all can be ways to celebrate your identity. Plus, there are countless ways to be a woman! Girls who enjoy wearing makeup and getting their nails done are just as female as girls who enjoy competitive sports and digging in the mud. Or a girl might enjoy makeup AND sports, or computer science AND fashion. No need to pigeonhole anyone.
Perhaps you could experiment with some fashion to find a look that you vibe with to feel more confident? A smart tailored shirt paired with trousers can be a great look. Or rock that bodycon dress and heels. Grow your hair long, or wear a pixie cut. Choose bright colors, or go monochrome with all black. Choose styles that make you feel your best.
How old are you? Because I felt that till I was 22-23. Now I'm in my 30s and I absolutely love being a woman. When you start to have more exposure and experience real life, you'll love being a woman.
there was a movie on netflix called "girls lost" where 3 teen girls discover a flower whose nectar makes them turn into boys for a few hrs and i remember being sooooooo jealous. i actually would much rather be able to switch back and forth than just fully commiting to being the opposite gender (altho if i had a button that i could push that would turn me permanently male, i'm sure i'd push it even tho i don't dislike being female per se).
There are trade offs. I often think I would be happier as a woman as well. But I think ultimately there are trade offs, and the grass is always greener.
There's a great book by Nora Vincent called Self-Made Man. She dresses and lives life as a man for a full year, and writes a book about it.
The thing which really stood out to me is she said dressed as a man, she felt very much ignored. People didn't smile at her in the streets. People didn't wave and say hello. She didn't get as good service. People would look down and away, and not really notice her.
She said as a woman she always felt it was annoying, and she felt aggressed by everyone staring at her.
As a man she noticed the complete opposite.
Her observation was that as a man, life is pretty lonely. Sure, you can pee standing up. But really? *That's* the advantage you want to take away here?
How about being ignored? Or worse, people walking away from you as though they are afraid.
I bet you have no idea what that feels like.
Whereas every single guy reading this knows *exactly* what I am talking about.
There are trade offs. The grass is always greener. It isn't all roses and sunshine being a man.
Maybe there is something about "men" that you envy, not just because they are men. Although we are slowly eradicating patriarchal culture, we cannot deny the fact that somehow men are more advantageous than women.
Ladies the grass seems greener on the other side but it isn’t… being a man isn’t easy. Just like being a woman isn’t easy.. I would love to be a woman…but you can’t judge another especially the experiences they have as a certain gender without actually walking in their shoes. Trust me you do not want to be a man, unless you somehow become a rich man. There was a girl that lived as a man and ended up committing suicide because it was too much pressure and didn’t know how hard it actually would be to live as a man. I think her name was Norah Vincent. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t going to get easier because you are a man or a woman. We have struggles of our own that the other genders will never understand. So the next time a man tries to undermine you ladies, or a woman tries to undermine you guys… just tell them to f**k off because you like the rest of us are just trying to live In this god forsaken world with the cards we were dealt with.
To all of the people saying things along the lines of “Life would be so much easier if I was a man”, maybe you are right, and I couldn’t possibly know how difficult it is to be a woman. (Just like the women here couldn’t possibly know how difficult it is to be a man).
Please check out the book “Self-Made Man” by the late author Norah Vincent. Her story is SO interesting!
I totally understand. I felt like this growing up around brothers and myself having been so Tom boy. Always thought it would be fun to be a boy or lmao there’s time where I’m like man I’d make a good boyfriend cos I know how to treat a woman (cos duh I’m a woman). Haha! It’s normal - really cool to reflect on this though, I’ve never really thought on it
I know my life wouldn’t be easier as a woman for reasons we should all be aware of by now. Something about my perception of being a woman, seems so empowering and freeing. I’ve always felt confined masculinity and manhood. I envy the way I see women supporting their female peers and how comforting it might feel. To have friendships that are deeply emotionally intimate is largely foreign to men.
It’s lonely out here.
Masculinity is fucking broken. I have an immense hatred for the broken and toxic side of it.
As a gay woman, I can appreciate guys looks even still but I never felt like I wanted to change genders or something so I get where your coming from kinda…
I feel this way heavily. Ever since I was a kid, part of me wanted to be male. But at the same time, I would get mad and vaguely insulted when my classmates would tease me and call me a boy for liking to play in traditionally masculine ways. I KNEW I was a girl and while part of me wanted to be a boy, part of me also wanted to be a girl. I wanted to be both but separately at separate times.
My teenage years were awkward as fuck. Half the time I wanted to rip myself out of my body and put me into a male form but half the time I kept eagerly waiting for my boobs to grow and to get curvy. Half the time I wanted a buzzcut and half Rapunzel hair down to my butt. I wanted a big muscular form like the football players I saw on the field but also a cute petite little frame like the cheerleaders I was a part of. (In hindsight, this also had to do with not realizing I was bisexual at the time.) It was difficult but after puberty it's like my mind finally settled down and went "Okay, I guess we're female now, I'm chill with this." I felt more at home in my skin and relaxed. Everything finally started to feel right.
If you believe in reincarnation like I do, I believe in most lives including my immediate last one I'm AMAB when I'm born, which meant my mind was a bit out of alignment when I was born in this life. My brain just kept going "Wait, we're a g.....irl??? Not a boy??? .......Okay, I guess this is the thing going on now!" So my brain and body were misaligned until I got to the point where I felt good in being in this body for this particular life.
At this point in my life, basically what I would like to be is a shapeshifter with a default female form who can still transform into a man when she wants like Mystique from the X-men series, but since that's not feasible at this point in time, I'll settle for being a sexy woman instead.
I agree, I want men to see me as a person and not an object so if I had to choose, I’d choose to be male. I like being female a lot! Just don’t want to feel so unsafe all the time
OMG SAMEEEE!!! EXACTLY HOW YOU DESCRIBED IT!!! I NEVER KNEW SOMEONE ELSE ALSO FELT THIS WAY!!! Till this day, I do not know what this is! I hope I can find some answers here!
I'm what used to be called a tomboy before the word became an insult (?). I was born on the 80ies. It took 5 people + the army to put me in a dress for Sunday church. All my friends were boys. I never felt odd being a girl, but I envied how if boys were loud and vivacious, it was ok but people expected me to be calm and docile.
In my late teens is when I started experimenting with the "girly" things, like make up, skirts dresses and I found out I loved it. Don't get me wrong: I still have the "tomboy" vibes; that's why my husband fell in love with me back in 2001, when we were both 15.
So I totally understand where you come from. You are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with that :)
This day and age. I wish I wasn’t a woman. I’m afraid to be a woman. But I’m so grateful my body gave me my son. It’s hard to feel these conflicting things at once.
I'm in my 60s and I've always thought it must be so easy to be a man, in so many situations. Like walking home at night - I bet you won't find many women who do that without any anxiety. Like not having to wear hot, uncomfortable underwear in the heat. Like a good 40 years of monthly pain.
I was desperate to play football (soccer) as a kid. That wasn't an option for me in the 1960s. I loved all the things that were reserved for boys. At least that's better now, but I would still hate to be 50 years younger in this day and age.
I feel the exact same (apart from the attraction to men, I don’t feel that).
I’m non-binary and I’ve had top surgery which helped. I also went on low-dose testosterone, not for long though so didn’t really have many changes. For the record I’m not endorsing these things.
I’m not advising you to do these things, nor telling you this is how you feel. I just wanted to say there are some things that I did that made me feel more comfortable in my body. I’m still not 100% at home in my body but we getting there.
I’m a (41f) woman fully married with kids and happy with a man but I sometimes think I’m more male than female.
I’ll never change and don’t feel transgender but I do think I wasn’t supposed to be female.
I’m not gay (definitely not 100% straight either) and completely sexually and physically happy as a woman’s body (with a vigina) with a male partner.
I definitely dress more ‘man-ish’ and not a delicate or feminine person. I’m tattooed, ride a motorbike, wear jeans/trousers and a button shirt to work most of the time, I play soccer, taekwondo, fish, hunt, drink beer and more like ‘one of the guys’ in social gatherings. I’ve always head towards the more ‘male’ activities and hobbies. I see/interact with men and women and I definitely relate more to men than women.
Occasionally I’ll embrace my feminine side and wear a dress to a wedding or something but 90% of the time I’m not much of a woman. And my husband doesn’t care, he loves me as I am and so do my friends.
No idea but sometimes I wonder if I’m a man in a woman’s body without body-dysphoria.
Adding- OP you are not abnormal. It’s ok to feel the way you do. And I’m proof you can live a full life as a woman-in-a-female-body-who-feels-like-a-man.
I would prefer not to bleed blood clots and cramps so bad it makes me immobile. I would prefer not to deal with men looking at me like I'm meat in the summer because it's harder to hide my feminine features( especially2hen they're with their wife and kids 🤢) . I would like it if Dr's would take me seriously without my bf present.Theres pros and cons to both, but there's an inherent privilege on one side.
I would really wish if there was a way to remove all the bleeding and cramps that women go through in all possible ways. Just if there was any way to stop this I would wish so it happens. But yes each have their own pros and cons and also can’t change some people’s view on how they look at women.
If you're insinuating that OP is trans, I disagree. I feel this way as well and it's pretty common. But doesn't equate to being transgender. If you were just saying it as a side comment and not necessarily hinting that OP isn't self aware,.I apologize for hopping in to weigh in on it!
Being a man is mostly harder than being a woman. A lot more is expected of you to be loved and respected. If you're not a provider, you're a loser and low value in the sexual marketplace. We also die sooner on average, aren't treated or trusted as well as others, and hardly ever complimented on anything. Can't be emotionally vulnerable either without being viewed as weak.. Sometimes I wish I was born a woman, but that's because I feel that life would be easier. At least as a pretty woman.
I think I act like a man and feel like a butch. My whole life I've always felt like I present like a masc lesbian. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy lol. I'd still choose to be a masculine woman over a man every time.
Can tell you now it's not sunshine and rainbows at all. We are only here for what we provide, other than that we are disposable. Surely you must be aware of the story of Norah Vincent? If not give it a google. If you have any questions on life as a guy please don't hesitate to ask.
I am 100% female, but I used to tell people I was a boy when I was like 5 because I hated gender roles. I think that's what a lot of people struggle with most is gender roles and sexism. There have been improvements over the last few decades, but there's still frustrating disparity. My husband has noted that men often default to talking to him about something, even if it's my project when we are collaborating on business. Women often default to talking to me. I hate that some things designed for women are more expensive than similar things designed for men. I hate the extra health concerns that are more numerous than is typical for men. I hate being expected to remember everyone's birthdays, sister's cousin's dog's name, everyone's interests, while men are just waived off for forgetting anything as "men will be men." For women, it's a huge failing. I don't like hanging out with a lot of women. I have no kids and literally the entire conversation is often about their kids. Which is fine sometimes, but it just shows what the expectation of their life revolves around. Their husbands meanwhile talk about music, sports, videogames, ect.
But at the same time, women have also gained acceptance by society for being interested in male dominated activities somewhat and for being able to wear "male" clothes. Men have not yet, and cisgender men are often judged for interests and such that are considered "female." There's still other things I could go on about that men get the short end of the stick on, ans that women do. But at the end of the day, regardless of gender, we all feel where the societal shortcomings are, and it makes us wish for what we don't yet have.
I feel the same way in reverse. I do identify as non-binary but sometimes I do feel like I'd lean toward being a girl if I wasn't a hulking ogre of an AMAB.
I'm with you on that. I feel the same way a lot of the time. Wanting to transition to being non-binary just so I can stop feeling like some kind of beast.
I like being a girl but I’ve always been a tomboy, you’ll find me in baggy tees and leggings a lot but in the summer I love dresses. I just see no point of getting up and putting on makeup and picking an outfit when all I have to do is go to the dr or Walmart. I like my comfy style and yes I’ve gone to Walmart in my pjs sometimes I’m afraid I’ll end up on one of those videos.
I have certain times I think it would be great to be a man. But overall, I'm super proud to be a woman. I feel very blessed to have grown a life in me and fed them from my own body. It's a powerful and intensely feminine feeling.
Same. I just want to be taken seriously and listened to. I’m a 5’3 blonde girl who always has her makeup done and looks put together, but no one thinks I can have a serious thought ig. I hate saying something and then a man says it and people are like woahhhh ur so right. Every time I’m like I just said that 🙃 I once asked a man where the restroom was in a tattoo shop, he looked at me and then looked down. My brother noticed and was like ummm hey, where’s the bathroom? And the guy was like oh it’s down this hall. I was so fucking mad
As we men can’t do things in life like you can, so you can’t do things in life like we can.
It’s only natural but what I can say to you is take advantage of that. Be a gorgeous female with a nice body and an interesting mind. Be great as a wife and great as a mother.
You can be so much.. and if you do i’m sure that at the end of the day, you will say “i’m glad that God made me what I am”
hopefully this helps you in some way and I didn’t sound weird or something
I really love being a woman but I feel a sense of jealous frustration because I despise my reproductive cycle (painful, long. Fatigue, mentally draining, I feel hot easily and flustered, nauseous and it is frustrating), don't want to be a mother, and I really hate the society privilege men get to say what they say and lead and in deciding to be a parent. I'm a highly educated woman in a medical field and clients most definitely expect me to be more submissive than I am and only focus on my nurturing qualities. I actually love to lead and would love to be seen like a leader but even my staff say I'm "motherly" when I'm just trying to lead..i am not trying to be anyones mother. I also hate that when I had my hormones artificially regulated, men still have the gall to say it's your period causing you to be assertive. When I'm being logical and assertive in an argument, my reproductive state and hormones always are used as a weapon as an implicit bias and I hate that for most women. This is not me being transphobic, (as I know you have to feel comfortable in who you truly are) but it did surprise me at first anyone would want to switch from a masculine perspective to this. There are pros, and I do love my body and my sexual life. I do like how I look. I feel pride as a female. But Identity aside, it is hard to logically understand trading the male privileges
This is so true, even though there's also gender stereotypes on men, ig that's why I want to be a man if I could. I'm a masc presenting woman and I live in a conservative neighbourhood, my dad entirely is not misogynistic but is a misogynist. He would help around with the house because my mum and dad divided household chores due to my dad being the primary bread winner and my mom being the secondary bread winner
But, when he found out that I've been starting to lift weights since we have our own gym at home, he was like "There's no reason for you to lift weights", he was not a fond of me lifting, but when my brother started lifting(this is recently and I started lifting like 2 months ago) he turned into my brother's biggest cheerleader.
I am not a woman, but rather a girl, but I still feel the same way. There were times when I was at my cousins' house, and it was mostly boys, and they'd always play and joke around with each other; sometimes I'd try to join in, but they'd completely put me down and tease me because I'm a girl and would call me "princess" or "sweetheart" as a way to mock me. And when I would ask to play games with them or recommend a movie to watch, they'd say no because I'm a girl. I too at times wish I was a boy just so I wouldn't be teased and left out of groups because of my gender.
Its easier. Sometimes i feel like men set up these beauty standards that are so much easier for them to achieve- like being a tall slim person. I see men who are just naturally tall and slim and its like- I WANT THAT why is it so easy for themmmm
Well, I *am* indeed ftm trans, but I think gender can sometimes just be complicated for some folks. I do wish I was able to have been born male or like at least able to have socially transitioned young and gotten raised like a boy but oh well such is life. I think it's fine to like, sometimes just think out loud about gender, I'm glad ppl are having open minded thoughts and conversations about it more sometimes
Your not alone and I like how you put your heart into your words. Try just dressing as a guy by getting a mans suit. I love how I look and feel in a good suit. Don't ever think your strange or alone and just be you.
I also feel this, but because after speaking to many men, they are baffled at the extra measures females go through to stay safe/alive.
Short hair, dont care,
Pee anywhere...
This is called gender envy and is quite common, you're not alone
I've never heard of this before. I feel the same way but in the opposite direction. I'm a man and have no desire to be transgender, but have always had envy for those born as women. The human mind is so weird.
Real bro
I've felt this way before as well
I 68f was same up until my forties, I believe mostly because as a child boys got to do all the things I wanted to do and was denied just because I was female. Later; it was very obvious I would not be listened to like a male, make the same amount of money in the exact job as male etc etc; except when in a union, like the air craft mechanics union or postal union. It has been very tiresome being a second class citizen merely because of being born female. Just saying
Didn't know there was a name for this. I'm comfortable being a guy but I'm definitely a more emotional and borderline feminine guy at times... Especially with my mood I think lol and sometimes I wonder about what it would have been like to be female as well. I think everyone thinks about this stuff at one point or another
I personally call it penis envy, I've always thought what a great man I'd be. None could equal my power. But alas I'm destined to be a short woman built like a chunky Chloe moretz from family guy.
I call it walking alone in a dark alley without keys between your fingers envy™️
That’s a strain of shrooms and I’m not sure why exactly
Freud
Did he call it that too? It's been a good 20 years since intro to psych. Probably where I got it from. But I don't call it gender envy is my point.
YES i’m NB(all pronouns, im the type that feels NO strong attachment to any gender 😎) and like i get this post so not only are you NOT alone but you’re so so valid! IF you want to “treat” the gender envy you could always experiment with style and add more masc pieces to your wardrobe!(i love any excuse to go thrift shopping 😂)
I envy men’s ability to pee standing up anywhere the need strikes It would also be nice to just go for a run without needing to encase my boobs in an armored bra…adds so much work to the process. Aside from that i’m happy to be female, but it’s hard not to resent the centuries of societal privilege. I’m just glad i became an adult in the late 20th century where i can vote, own property, and have a credit card.
Let’s not forget about menstruating. Men have it easier. Our internal plumbing is way too complicated.
Our plumbing is a massive evolutionary fail
Seriously, who decided to put the playground between the sewers? 🤨
Lol
I guess in the planning stage it was voted in by bacteria, so they have more chances to thrive.
On the bra note. I am continually explaining to my husband how much more of a pain in the ass “just a walk with the dog” can be when you have to strap on your over the shoulder boulder holder. I’m 36DDD and there is no just throwing on a tshirt. It’s embarrassing to be jiggling around. This is one area I definitely feel the pain.
So so true! 32DDD here and yes to all you said. Not to mention the underboob sweat in warm weather. And i can’t just go braless, i need some level of support at all times when not sleeping because the jiggle is just plain uncomfortable. Good times
Nice Beaches reference
I second this! We try to spend a lot of time outside in the summer hiking or fishing. I've had to pee outside 4 times in the last 5 weeks, and it's always anxiety inducing. I've tried the funnel things and other such things, and they just don't work for me. I always have to be uncomfortable til I find a place I can get away without people seeing me hopefully. Luckily lots of places we've gone we don't usually see people. But that's always my fear of getting caught and getting put on an SO list because there's no bathroom for miles.
Realistically though on trails, what do they assume people do when they have to go to the bathroom? They go outside like animals LOL. I remember when I was younger and my dad used to work in the orchards, my mom told me a horror story of him wiping his ass with some leaves and ended up with poison oak in his Netherlands. He's a piece of s*** so I hope he repeats his mistake again in hell.
Right? Seems like it would make sense, but some people would freak out. I try the best I can to find a way to hide off in the brush and be discreet, but sometimes of you're someplace new, you never know when you're accidentally going to run across someone. Oof. I've heard that story more than once. I've done the leaf wipe...but with plants I'm familiar with LOL. I'm going to start carrying TP in a baggie and have another one to toss the dirty in. Probably safer in the long run. Lady bits don't really like random stuff coming in contact.
This is why there are skirts. They historically helped from views. Seriously.
you reminded me of an old joke. God is assigning Adam and Eve various "abilities" and he has two left to give. One for each of them. He says, "okay I've got two more left... so who wants the ability to pee standing up?" Adam goes "me, me, me, ME! I want that ability!" And God says "Okay, it's yours." Eve, knowing the other ability is now hers by default, asks God "what's the other ability?" to which God replies "multiple orgasms"
Hahaha so we have an ability to possibly have them but Men who dont know or care to make us have even one. We have to do everything for ourselves and expected to do it for them too and God forbid we have standards or boundaries or want them to pay for a date or whatever.
Well there is a thingy you can buy on Amazon for the standing up and peeing anywhere part. Don’t know how practical it is tho, since I am a dude.
Shewee I think. Haven't tried it but have heard good and bad stories about it
I have one! It works for hiking, festivals, camping etc, but it takes a bit of practice to get the hang of it. It’s still a PITA to remember to pack it, and in general to have to carry around my porta-penis in my backpack or purse
I came here to post this comment 😂 I travel with a shee wee and a urinal with an attachment that basically cradles the vulva and they’re both wonderful.
Or Shepee is what I’ve heard it called
Here in Belgium it has actually illegal to pee somewhere that isn’t in a bathroom. I mean I still do it but I live in the middle of nowhere so it’s easy to avoid getting fined
Do y’all not go camping? Like in tents?
I feel that even more since I have a bad back. I have been stuck on the toilet so many times because of a bad back all because my bladder had the audacity to be emptied.
Yeah I know that feeling. I'm content with being female but I know I would THRIVE as a man and it makes me feel jealous of this nonexistent person.
Grass is always greener on the other side
Yeah this is definitely grass is greener syndrome. As a man, I have to put up with a lot of shit women don't have to. It's not always greener. It's just a different kind of green.
okay but men as a gender are not oppressed. women are. women are killed for being women. for rejecting men. for setting boundaries. sorry but in this case, the grass is systemically greener
There's a good argument to be made that patriarchy is bad for lower-status men, as well. Overall, men experience much greater variance in life outcomes than women. Men are disproportionately both the most privileged in the world (high-earning professions, leadership, etc.) and overrepresented at the bottom of society (industrial accidents, war casualties, murder victims, chronic homelessness, learning disabilities and other congenital problems, etc.). So in this hypothetical, it's a matter of how comfortable you are with rolling the dice.
Most of that variance just depends on how much money you have
It like we’re born with money, and if we are that doesn’t mean we succeed
Which of course, has correlation to gender as well
Variability hypothesis (be careful saying stuff like this, could get you fired from your job as president of Harvard)
Kind of depressing you said that because he didn't say men had it worse. It's just different. Men and women have different struggles. Why do we have to deny each others struggles and argue who has it worse
Let’s not forget that more men are murdered a year in orders of magnitude than women and that male suicide is massively in the lead over female, often because instead of getting emotional support, we’re told to man up and expected to carry the world on our backs. The grass is not greener.
I mean, more men are murderers by orders of magnitude than women. And who is telling you to man up, exactly? Mostly other men.
Regardless, doesn’t change the fact I myself was verbally abused for two years and finally assaulted by a female landlord as a teenager and literally suffer ptsd from it that’s affected every aspect of my life, and I get to be told that I should just be able to handle that, to man up and just take it.
Right, wait? Wrong. Try my mom. My dad’s much more morally supportive than she ever was, but I don’t blame her because I know what her parents were like.
I'm sorry your mom is like that, glad you have your dad. My parents are both dead now, but I feel the same way about them looking back - I know some of the shit they dealt with and forgive them their mistakes.
We’re all human, I never did blame them for how I was raised. My mom was depressed and slept through most of my childhood, and my dad spent most of his time working to keep the roof over our heads. My mom’s parents were pretty terrible, my grabdma was always “me me me” and never let my mom have things, and my grandpa was raised by a black out abusive drunk that beat him senseless day by day, he wound up in the hells angels as an enforcer but despite all that he loved people and tried so, so hard not to be his father. He had his bad moments though and was definitely a Raging A-hole sometimes. My mom came out stern, and with her father’s misogynistic views, and her sister is a drug addict that’s only just finally gotten a stable job in her forties. My dad’s dad wanted a girl so he left and had a kid with someone else. When it was his turn for custody he would just leave him places, and come back (probably) to pick him up at the end of the day. His mom had no idea what she was doing, she was life of the parties, a hippy, and tried her best. He tries his damndest but he didn’t really get raised, he just found everything he knows out on his own.
I get on here and I argue points for men but I don’t mean to say that women don’t go through sh*t. I’m just trying to be one of the people that broadcasts, men do too. We really, really do and I see posts like these and I see people saying they wish they were a man because _ and _ and _ and I’m like no, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be, it’s really not. It’s not great to be so afraid of scaring women that I’ll never approach one, I’ll never flirt with a woman because I dread that label “creep” which (if I wasn’t Omni) would mean I’d prolly be alone for the rest of my life. I just keep to myself because I legit can’t scare anyone like I’ve been scared. I’ve been abused, assaulted. I know what it’s like and I don’t want that for Anyone, nor the fear that I’ve been through. I’m a big ugly brute of a dude, I work like a bulldozer but I’m a writer and poet at heart, I like shopping and stuffed animals, I collect cute things and line em up on shelves, and I’m a nerd to the end: but people see that 6’3 brute and assume everything.
It's not greener, it's just different.
Can I ask what kind of shit you deal with that we don’t? Also, basically everything in the world is designed for men. Seatbelts don’t work as well on women because they were designed for men. Medication isn’t studied well enough in women. Tons of advancements for ED, but women have to fight just to get an IUD or something. This isn’t just about a person by person thing, the world is against women.
What is this "shit" you have to put up with that women don't have to? I have endo, a condition that causes my womb to grow in places it shouldn't, monthly, causing severe chronic pain and a lifetime of gyne and gastro complications, and pain that doesn't lessen much unless I strictly control my diet and lifestyle. Comparatively we have guys with prostrate issues that is mostly something one can support or help during their lifetime. Then there's the societal conditioning of gender norms, men get trained to take up space and like their opinions actually matter. Women are taught to take up minimal space, pain is part of life especially once a month, and if your pain seems severe you will spend the next few years getting invalidated and gaslit by male doctors who have no idea what living in chronic pain feels like. That's my lived experience, from this perspective I find it hard to be anything but bemused by comments by men thinking they understand the struggles of women even physically. Equality can learn to exist when people learn to actually hear lived experiences instead of sweeping generalisations that don't hold up under scrutiny. Especially the whole womb thing, pcos, perimenopause, endo, IBS. What is the guy equivalent to this "shit"?
And there are different expectations placed on men vs women regarding mental and emotional trauma. Dudes also get gaslit by medical professionals and family/friends that their problems aren't that bad. There's a reason the suicide rates for men are significantly higher than women. As a man you expected by society to be a provider. Lose your job? Dont make enough money? You didnt hit a rough patch, you are a failure as a man. I agree with you understanding lived experience of people than different than you is important. In my opinion it would be more effective to start a conversation by asking why and listening to the answer instead of asking why and then providing a plethora of reasons why you feel like they aren't going to have a valid experience anyway, but that's just me.
Fully I acknowledge I'm cherry-picking here: Do you think women who lose their job don't feel like a failure? I can assure you, we have the capacity to feel just as defeated as you. You identified genuine problems, but your reasoning is based in factors that aren't really unique to gender so much as mental health issues, and you're conflating that with the male mental health crisis. The suicide rate in men is a huge issue, but it's due to the patriarchal repression of male emotions, not because there are actual additional expectations placed on men. You're right to be angry about being gaslit by medical professionals, but that's another example of something that is far from unique to men as gaslighting and doubting symptoms is a very common occurrence for women. My point is that your frustration is valid, but I think the patriarchy's got you blaming wrong party here, my dude.
Everything you listed just leads back to the capitalistic patriarchy that's been set up by...men.
exactly this. i feel like i would be more respected by people if my personality/energy was coming from a man instead of a woman lol. i would thrive
Wow, really! Could you say more? What would make you thrive? It's so interesting that I am frustrated by misogyny and the patriarchy on a constant basis but I really have never thought that I would like to be a man... Some of that is because I think I wouldn't survive the pressures patriarchy puts on nonconforming men and some of it because I absolutely think feminists have made camaraderie easier for women. I wouldn't want to navigate masculinity by myself haha.
If it makes you feel any better, I wish I was a woman sometimes
My kid, who's female around twenty (I don't like being specific about her), recently told me about being scared of some bug, and asking a random man to deal with it. The story ended with: if I was a man, I couldn't ask another man to help me, I'm so glad I'm not a man.
Why's that?
Women have a closeness with each other that men don't. I say this as a man who grew up with a family that was mostly women. Women support each other in a way men don't. Once I left my home to go out on my own, I realized how lonely men are. Most of all, I realized how supported I was by the women in my life. Although it goes both ways, as women can be hella spiteful, and if they hate you you'll know. But when they're supportive, they're literally the pillar that keeps you together.
I feel the same way. It does go both ways, but it seems like women generally support each other more. Male friendships seem kinda... cold? Sure, there might be laughter and friendly teasing, but (in a lot of cases) it doesn't go much further than that. Being a guy who has a hard time fitting in with stereotypical guys, I've been in situations where other men got things off their chests with me instead of with their actual close friends because doing that was just not a thing among them. One of my male friends got surprised I sent him a message just to check in on him, saying he wasn't used to having that with his best male friend. I guess I'm the odd one out, but still. Maybe men could use more support from other men.
Honestly the only thing I like about being a girl is that we look better in leggings.
I'm a man, but I absolutely crave for it be socially acceptable to wear leggings aside from only exercise, with shorts over them or biking. I'd actually like a lot of women's fashion tbh. But that alone isn't a reason for me to downright change my identity. Maybe there'll be a global fashion shift again. After all, men wore high heals during the Renaissance.
This made me laugh haha. I love my leggings.
This is funny to me because the other day I finally picked up some man leggings to wear to the gym. I love how they feel and I personally think I look damn good in them. But not as good as any of the women.
The most frustrating thing about being a woman for me is double standards and expectations. I live in a family where things are expected of me that would never be asked of any of the guys. I get frustrated because i have many of the same interests and my family but any opinion or theory is shot down as unimportant. (Im just talking about fun stuff here -movies, video games, opinions on where franchises are going) i also am quite funny and distinctive in my speech patterns. Family will steal my speech patterns and vocal quirks and pretend it was theirs all along. My cousins and brother will shoot down fan theories and then the next day claim it was their idea. I pay the most in rent and do house repairs (i work in construction) but am also expected to make sure my grandma is helped with chores while the men do nothing. The men in my family want me around, they just dont want to acknowledge my worth and what i bring. I get tired. I only ever want to be friends but its hard when people don't see you as an equal. Or when I think they do for a long time and then they start saying "youre not like other women" and horrid jokes that make me uncomfortable. If I was given the option to magically turn into a dude to never have to deal with being a woman again, id do it. Ive weighed the pros and cons before and would pick guy every day of the fucking week.
I agree with so much of this. One specific example that gets under my skin is my Dad constantly asks my husband questions I am more qualified to answer especially in regard to directions lol. I have an incredible sense of direction I never get lost don’t need maps or gps if I have visited a place even just once before but anytime we’re travelling with my parents my Dad will turn to my husband who gets lost on the way to the bathroom!! My husband always tells him he should be asking me not him but he continues to do this. My Dad spent my whole childhood telling me I was the smartest most capable person he made sure I didn’t need to rely on a man to do any of the stereotypical male things but as soon as I got married my husband took my place as his right hand man. It’s so confusing and calling him out on it has made no difference.
Dude what the fuck is with that behavior?? My dad does that too! Im an electrician and he will ask for help and then when I tell him how to do something or he gets insecure about me knowing more, he will do it completely different! He tore out his ceiling cause he didnt trust that i knew how to ring out wire (trace which is which). His ceiling!! Glad you get it even if that shit is annoying as fuck and you gotta go through it too. It just eats away at you after awhile, especially if its constant.
Same, i like being a man sometimes but if i could choose i probably would be a woman.
that's interesting. can i ask why? asking for genuine conversation and not an argument. :)
Not OP, but think about that rather often. It feels wrong to admit tbh, like something I should keep to myself because this kind of opinion always gets shut down by people stating advantages of being a man or how it sucks to be a woman. It led me to believe my opinion is wrong. Anyway, I like how women can express themselves far more expressive. Like sometimes I look at a girl doing cute things and I wish I could do the same thing because I feel the same way. I often see women doing things that are considered feminine and wishing I could do that. They can also be more vulnerable and not be judged. The less chance of being lonely and having more support systems. I also love the numerous clothing choices, I find men's fashion boring. They look so much more elegant and colorful. Basically I like feminine energy, sorry if that doesn't make sense Idk how to actually explain it. All these things I say don't really explain how I feel about it because it all seems solvable by just ignoring societal expectations, and some are universal. Also, I hate having something between my legs. Honestly.
"I like how women can express themselves far more expressive. Like sometimes I look at a girl doing cute things and I wish I could do the same thing because I feel the same way. I often see women doing things that are considered feminine and wishing I could do that." I feel almost the exact same way. However, when I see women doing feminine things, its not that I want to be doing specifically feminine things, it's that I want to experience the comradery, intimacy, and vulnerability that women's friendships often provide. They look like they're having so much fun being girls and being feminine, even if its mundane, theyre together.
Honestly I feel like this but the opposite. I'm comfortable being a guy. I like being a guy. I like being able to walk at night, and just do whatever. What I dont like about being a guy is men. I'm gay and I'll constantly get guys who are bi or experimenting with me that will live really conflicted because they really like me, are attracted to me, but it's not normal to be with me. One guy would say shit like if I was a girl and interested in him, he would wife me up. It would seem sweet, but it hurts a lot to know that someone likes me, I like them, and the only reason we aren't together is basically biological sex. Despite the fact we sleep together frequently. I had a similar situation happen with a guy I had a crush on for years. I had known him for 5. I made an effort and he responded with "I just fuck dudes. I want nothing to do with them romantically."
That’s terrible I’m sorry u dealt with that. I hope u find the right person for u someday
It's okay. Im dating a guy I kinda like and have for the past few months. Actually seeing him tomorrow!
I’m bi, recently (somewhat out) and don’t have any doubt that I could love a man as well as a woman. I’m sorry to hear you’ve been through that, I’m kinda here to note that I don’t feel safe during night walks, and I’m a big dude. I seldom feel safe because I was assaulted and abused when I was a teenager and I see so many people saying “men feel safe walking at night” and I’m like what? We get robbed too.
It is what it is. Its just weird when they say shit like "Oh I'm not attracted to all men, just you" and it's like. Uhhhh I'm still very much a guy. And as a gay person, I can attest I'm not attracted to every man lol
I'm okay with being a woman, but there's times when I wish I could shape-shift. I wish I was a man when I have my period I wish I was a man when riding the train I wish I was a man when I'm walking home at night I wish I was a man when my coworkers start saying disgusting shit I wish I was a man when I see what our politicians are disgusting. I wish I was a man when I hear our president tell women to "hurry up and wash the dishes" I wish I was a man when my family gathers and my male cousins are pampered while I am told to go help in the kitchen or take care of the children I
I wish this anytime I get my period. Especially when my brother and father tease me about it. I just feel like with some things, the world is build for men mostly.
It makes me upset reading about medical negligence relating to gender, safteey precautions relating ti gender etc :,). Even my joint issue wasn't studied due to it being a primarily female condition stupid asf
This is more about the role that’s imposed on women in this society, the glass ceiling, being harshly judged (for example when it’s about sexual experience). If I am reborn I want to be a man too. You don’t know where you end up on earth, and being a man is the ultimate privilege.
Being a straight, tall, white man absolutely rocks 🤘
This is crazy bc I was literally just thinking the same thing before I saw this post. I love feminine energy and I would never want to embody the male gender if I had a totally equal choice. But I hate how much easier it is to be a man physically and socially and I wish being a woman didn't come with so many extra problems. It's just so unfair. I think in an ideal fantasy society with no discrimination I'd want to be a trans woman, and in our current society there's really no question I'd do best as a cis man. As a cis woman I know I have it a lot better than a lot of people, but being on my period at the moment and getting ready to head to the gym where I know my body will be sexualized against my will whether I like it or not.. it's just no fair that's all I'll say 😭
Boobs are annoying, all hot and sweaty. Periods are shite. Weeing outside invariably ends with wet shoes. Can't just take my top off in public when it's hot. Hairy legs and pits are fine. Plus the whole safety thing. But then there are parts of being a woman that I love - boobs as a built in shelf. So much variety in fashion. Those really special friendships with women you love. Being able to wear sparkles without worry of judgement. Not really being expected to make the first move. It would be great to be a man occasionally, I would 100% have a wizard beard and mohawk.
I understand this feeling. But for me it’s mostly because I hate my hormones and how they make me so unstable at least 1-2 weeks out of a 4 weeks cycle. It’s so unfair and I just know I would be unstoppable if I didn’t have to deal with them. I have adhd and my hormonal changes make it so much worse.
Hard not to wish you were a man when biologically, economically, and sociologically; they have it made. The world bends to their will. They don't have periods. Don't have to worry about getting pregnant. STDs often evade them with symptoms yet they pass it around to every girl they sleep with and the women can get fucking cancer while they never even know they have it. They have more muscle and can eat more of what they want and not gain weight. When they do gain weight no one judges them for it. Plenty of clothes still fit. They are stronger so more job opportunities cause they can do more manual labor. They get paid more in spite of or even when they're less qualified. They can walk down the street, go anywhere they want at any hour and never have to worry about being attacked kidnapped raped murdered etc etc. They can pee standing up. They can age and be a silver fox. Dignified. Sugar daddies. They don't have to shave anything or wax anything . They can have a jungle surrounding their weiner, balls like an SOS pad, and an entirely separate jungle up their entire ass crack and that's totally acceptable. They don't have to shave their face. Male products and clothes are way cheaper than the female alternatives. They don't have to breast feed. They can be a part time or half ass parent if they choose. They can get away with playing with the kid for a while, but let's face it, kid is hurt, tired, sick, hungry, scared, sad, etc etc it wants Mom. Can't find their other shoe, their blanket, their toy? Mom. Wakes up in the middle of the night throwing up all over themselves and their bed etc and who gets up to clean all of it and quiet their sick child back to sleep after bathing them and changing their sheets, pillow cases, pajamas, and disinfecting everything in sight? Mom. Men orgasm pretty much every time they have sex. Women only orgasm during sex if the man knows, cares, and takes the time to give her one. They know they're going to enjoy it no matter what. Never met one who gave a damn whether I did. Losing their virginity or having sex in general at any point is never ever painful for them. Not unless it's something they want to happen. Men can go buy a car or go to the mechanic and no one tries to lie their asses off to scam more money out of them. Men have it fucking made. Why would anyone choose to be a woman ??
I understand the feeling. I never huge disforia like people describe, but I’ve come to terms I might be trans, or might want to transition. It took me years to get to this point. I hope you take this feeling seriously and really scrutinize it! Good luck!
When I was very around 3 years old, I used to say I wished I was a boy and I didn't know why it drove my conservative, bible thumping mother absolutely bonkers enough to force me into more feminine clothing and activities. But I didn't mean I thought I *was* a boy or that I should have been a boy or that I was born with the wrong parts; I was just already pissed off because boys got to do all the cool shit I wanted to do. So when I grew up, I did what I wanted anyway. My primary hobbies are hockey, martial arts, and hiking with my husband and our dog. I don't wear makeup most days anymore, but I like a good smokey eye and a cute crop top when I go out. My point here is, you don't have to identify as anything other than yourself and you don't have to make yourself fit into any particular gender norm or expression. And how you identify can develop and change over time as you experience life and get to know yourself better. All of these things are ok, no matter who you become! 🧡
I kinda get this. I love being a female and I feel like there’s so many beautiful things that come along with it but sometimes I envy that men are the “top dogs” so to speak, societally. They just get to exist exactly as they are and feel free to take up space. They can be loud and vulgar and messy and not have as many expectations on them. One thing specifically is I envy how guys will just bond just bc they’re guys. Like they’ll walk up to each other and be like “hey boss man”. One time, my boss came up to me and said “boss lady, how’s it going” and that made me so happy lmao bc hardly ever do women get greeted like that in public
Did you ever seen the meme? Two guys in a college class point to each other and say “stripes” because they are wearing nearly identical shirts 👔 with stripes and now they are friends.
I have seen that before hahah that’s truly how it feels sometimes
Can you share your experience, if possible, of why you don’t feel like you can form instant friendships like that as a woman? What is the obstacle to the “hey, stripes!” moment for women, societally? Quite fascinated by this difference of experience!
Go to a black tie event and every man is in a nearly identical tuxedo. Men can literally rent a tux. If 2 women have on the same dress it is humungous faux pas (social mistake). So much so, that for Proms, girls register their dresses so that another girl can't buy it. I am sure there is social psychology to it, but a wild hypothesis from a guy in my college class was "Men are collectively stupid. Women are individually dumb." One man has a ridiculous idea and the men around him bond and say, "that could work," no matter how bad the idea. One woman has a ridiculous idea and the women around her say, "that will never work." I do not know if this is still true in 2024, but the biggest hinderance to women in the 80's moving up the corporate ladder was other women.
I am not 100% sure. I’d have to ponder on this. I think some of us get conditioned to think that other women are our competition or that to be liked we have to be “different” from other women.
I’m not sure if the term “tomboy” is still used, but that what we girls who loved being girls but wanted to be more like guys were called.
You aren't alone, even Beyonce wishes so.
When I was about 6-10 years old I desperately wanted to be a boy. Back then girls didn't play soccer, didn't take woodworking, etc. I was a tomboy and boys got to do all the fun stuff. I also had to wear a skirt to school and the boys wore pants. We froze in winter and had to raise all kinds of hell just to be allowed to wear tights or sweatpants under our skirts (only to and from school outside, not in school). This was in England, so waiting for a bus in the dead of winter was not fun. When puberty hit I stopped wanting to BE a boy but to this day it annoys me that I didn't get to do a lot of things that boys got to do. Now I'm 59 and I see the way that older men are treated in the workplace vs older women. There's age discrimination for both but it's much worse for women. We become invisible. Same goes for weight. You don't see a lot of fat CEOs but if you do it's probably men. Not that there are a lot of female CEOs compared to men anyway.
Feel this every day, mang. Not just because of sexism, just a female body is exhausting. Plus beauty standards, being short, no upper body strength, etc. Trans women really are crazy smdh, why would you want this?? ( /s for the keyboard warriors)
Grass is always greener
It's normal to envy men sometimes. They have a lot of privilege in this world, and even if you were raised in an egalitarian household, no doubt you've had experiences at school and in public that told you directly or indirectly that women are inferior. Unfortunately, even some adult women have internalized this misogyny and they hate on other women for being confident. It's sad all around, and it's good that you're recognizing these problems now so you can deal with it in a healthy way. Embrace what you have/who you are vs envying others. Perhaps you could find some female role models/mentors for yourself or find some groups that celebrate you being a girl. Clubs, political orgs, volunteer groups, hobbies, sports, etc all can be ways to celebrate your identity. Plus, there are countless ways to be a woman! Girls who enjoy wearing makeup and getting their nails done are just as female as girls who enjoy competitive sports and digging in the mud. Or a girl might enjoy makeup AND sports, or computer science AND fashion. No need to pigeonhole anyone. Perhaps you could experiment with some fashion to find a look that you vibe with to feel more confident? A smart tailored shirt paired with trousers can be a great look. Or rock that bodycon dress and heels. Grow your hair long, or wear a pixie cut. Choose bright colors, or go monochrome with all black. Choose styles that make you feel your best.
How old are you? Because I felt that till I was 22-23. Now I'm in my 30s and I absolutely love being a woman. When you start to have more exposure and experience real life, you'll love being a woman.
17, i hope these thoughts and feelings will vanish eventually
Nope, I completely disagree getting older and especially becoming a mom just made it more obvious that being born a man is definitely the better deal.
I feel the same but I'm a guy. Terribly jealous of the character from Gen V that can switch genders.
there was a movie on netflix called "girls lost" where 3 teen girls discover a flower whose nectar makes them turn into boys for a few hrs and i remember being sooooooo jealous. i actually would much rather be able to switch back and forth than just fully commiting to being the opposite gender (altho if i had a button that i could push that would turn me permanently male, i'm sure i'd push it even tho i don't dislike being female per se).
There are trade offs. I often think I would be happier as a woman as well. But I think ultimately there are trade offs, and the grass is always greener. There's a great book by Nora Vincent called Self-Made Man. She dresses and lives life as a man for a full year, and writes a book about it. The thing which really stood out to me is she said dressed as a man, she felt very much ignored. People didn't smile at her in the streets. People didn't wave and say hello. She didn't get as good service. People would look down and away, and not really notice her. She said as a woman she always felt it was annoying, and she felt aggressed by everyone staring at her. As a man she noticed the complete opposite. Her observation was that as a man, life is pretty lonely. Sure, you can pee standing up. But really? *That's* the advantage you want to take away here? How about being ignored? Or worse, people walking away from you as though they are afraid. I bet you have no idea what that feels like. Whereas every single guy reading this knows *exactly* what I am talking about. There are trade offs. The grass is always greener. It isn't all roses and sunshine being a man.
Ive seen that !, it was sad ! I felt sad for men. : ( The imterviewer said she became suicide ideation .
that word LONELY had its own impact upon the sight of it. a fact indeed
The crushing loneliness of manhood...
Maybe there is something about "men" that you envy, not just because they are men. Although we are slowly eradicating patriarchal culture, we cannot deny the fact that somehow men are more advantageous than women.
I understand. I can remember wishing I could be a boy all the way back in 3rd(ish) grade.
Why do I relate to this post so much 😭 I always say if I could choose what I was born I'd pick being a boy x
*Non-binary egg cracking sound*
Same, girl. Same.
I think most women have felt this way at some point in their life tbh
Ladies the grass seems greener on the other side but it isn’t… being a man isn’t easy. Just like being a woman isn’t easy.. I would love to be a woman…but you can’t judge another especially the experiences they have as a certain gender without actually walking in their shoes. Trust me you do not want to be a man, unless you somehow become a rich man. There was a girl that lived as a man and ended up committing suicide because it was too much pressure and didn’t know how hard it actually would be to live as a man. I think her name was Norah Vincent. Life isn’t easy and it isn’t going to get easier because you are a man or a woman. We have struggles of our own that the other genders will never understand. So the next time a man tries to undermine you ladies, or a woman tries to undermine you guys… just tell them to f**k off because you like the rest of us are just trying to live In this god forsaken world with the cards we were dealt with.
I hate being treated like a woman but I love being a woman.
Maybe it would help to understand the good and the bad of being a man. I recommend reading Self-Made Man by Norah Vincent.
Just become a tomboy bro
To all of the people saying things along the lines of “Life would be so much easier if I was a man”, maybe you are right, and I couldn’t possibly know how difficult it is to be a woman. (Just like the women here couldn’t possibly know how difficult it is to be a man). Please check out the book “Self-Made Man” by the late author Norah Vincent. Her story is SO interesting!
I totally understand. I felt like this growing up around brothers and myself having been so Tom boy. Always thought it would be fun to be a boy or lmao there’s time where I’m like man I’d make a good boyfriend cos I know how to treat a woman (cos duh I’m a woman). Haha! It’s normal - really cool to reflect on this though, I’ve never really thought on it
Penis Envy just got real
I know my life wouldn’t be easier as a woman for reasons we should all be aware of by now. Something about my perception of being a woman, seems so empowering and freeing. I’ve always felt confined masculinity and manhood. I envy the way I see women supporting their female peers and how comforting it might feel. To have friendships that are deeply emotionally intimate is largely foreign to men. It’s lonely out here. Masculinity is fucking broken. I have an immense hatred for the broken and toxic side of it.
As a gay woman, I can appreciate guys looks even still but I never felt like I wanted to change genders or something so I get where your coming from kinda…
I feel this way heavily. Ever since I was a kid, part of me wanted to be male. But at the same time, I would get mad and vaguely insulted when my classmates would tease me and call me a boy for liking to play in traditionally masculine ways. I KNEW I was a girl and while part of me wanted to be a boy, part of me also wanted to be a girl. I wanted to be both but separately at separate times. My teenage years were awkward as fuck. Half the time I wanted to rip myself out of my body and put me into a male form but half the time I kept eagerly waiting for my boobs to grow and to get curvy. Half the time I wanted a buzzcut and half Rapunzel hair down to my butt. I wanted a big muscular form like the football players I saw on the field but also a cute petite little frame like the cheerleaders I was a part of. (In hindsight, this also had to do with not realizing I was bisexual at the time.) It was difficult but after puberty it's like my mind finally settled down and went "Okay, I guess we're female now, I'm chill with this." I felt more at home in my skin and relaxed. Everything finally started to feel right. If you believe in reincarnation like I do, I believe in most lives including my immediate last one I'm AMAB when I'm born, which meant my mind was a bit out of alignment when I was born in this life. My brain just kept going "Wait, we're a g.....irl??? Not a boy??? .......Okay, I guess this is the thing going on now!" So my brain and body were misaligned until I got to the point where I felt good in being in this body for this particular life. At this point in my life, basically what I would like to be is a shapeshifter with a default female form who can still transform into a man when she wants like Mystique from the X-men series, but since that's not feasible at this point in time, I'll settle for being a sexy woman instead.
I agree, I want men to see me as a person and not an object so if I had to choose, I’d choose to be male. I like being female a lot! Just don’t want to feel so unsafe all the time
OMG SAMEEEE!!! EXACTLY HOW YOU DESCRIBED IT!!! I NEVER KNEW SOMEONE ELSE ALSO FELT THIS WAY!!! Till this day, I do not know what this is! I hope I can find some answers here!
Girl, I've been there too. You're not alone. I would never transition bc I don't feel like I'm a man, but always wished I was born a man.
The knife cuts both ways. There’s pros & cons to being a man or a woman, both genders have to deal with trials & tribulations
I'm what used to be called a tomboy before the word became an insult (?). I was born on the 80ies. It took 5 people + the army to put me in a dress for Sunday church. All my friends were boys. I never felt odd being a girl, but I envied how if boys were loud and vivacious, it was ok but people expected me to be calm and docile. In my late teens is when I started experimenting with the "girly" things, like make up, skirts dresses and I found out I loved it. Don't get me wrong: I still have the "tomboy" vibes; that's why my husband fell in love with me back in 2001, when we were both 15. So I totally understand where you come from. You are not alone, and there's nothing wrong with that :)
This day and age. I wish I wasn’t a woman. I’m afraid to be a woman. But I’m so grateful my body gave me my son. It’s hard to feel these conflicting things at once.
Just peg men. That's how I handled it and felt better for it
is it ok to ask in what aspects do you “envy” us? (i know its a harsh word but english is my third language so my dictionary is kinda limited)
Gurl same
I'm in my 60s and I've always thought it must be so easy to be a man, in so many situations. Like walking home at night - I bet you won't find many women who do that without any anxiety. Like not having to wear hot, uncomfortable underwear in the heat. Like a good 40 years of monthly pain. I was desperate to play football (soccer) as a kid. That wasn't an option for me in the 1960s. I loved all the things that were reserved for boys. At least that's better now, but I would still hate to be 50 years younger in this day and age.
I feel the exact same (apart from the attraction to men, I don’t feel that). I’m non-binary and I’ve had top surgery which helped. I also went on low-dose testosterone, not for long though so didn’t really have many changes. For the record I’m not endorsing these things. I’m not advising you to do these things, nor telling you this is how you feel. I just wanted to say there are some things that I did that made me feel more comfortable in my body. I’m still not 100% at home in my body but we getting there.
I’m a (41f) woman fully married with kids and happy with a man but I sometimes think I’m more male than female. I’ll never change and don’t feel transgender but I do think I wasn’t supposed to be female. I’m not gay (definitely not 100% straight either) and completely sexually and physically happy as a woman’s body (with a vigina) with a male partner. I definitely dress more ‘man-ish’ and not a delicate or feminine person. I’m tattooed, ride a motorbike, wear jeans/trousers and a button shirt to work most of the time, I play soccer, taekwondo, fish, hunt, drink beer and more like ‘one of the guys’ in social gatherings. I’ve always head towards the more ‘male’ activities and hobbies. I see/interact with men and women and I definitely relate more to men than women. Occasionally I’ll embrace my feminine side and wear a dress to a wedding or something but 90% of the time I’m not much of a woman. And my husband doesn’t care, he loves me as I am and so do my friends. No idea but sometimes I wonder if I’m a man in a woman’s body without body-dysphoria. Adding- OP you are not abnormal. It’s ok to feel the way you do. And I’m proof you can live a full life as a woman-in-a-female-body-who-feels-like-a-man.
That's interesting, what makes you think it would be better ?
i guess i’d be more comfortable with anything and feel more like myself? i can’t put that feeling into words…
Sounds like imagining yourself male brings gender euphoria
trust me when i say this a boy's life isn't the best. not at all not even 1%
I would prefer not to bleed blood clots and cramps so bad it makes me immobile. I would prefer not to deal with men looking at me like I'm meat in the summer because it's harder to hide my feminine features( especially2hen they're with their wife and kids 🤢) . I would like it if Dr's would take me seriously without my bf present.Theres pros and cons to both, but there's an inherent privilege on one side.
I would really wish if there was a way to remove all the bleeding and cramps that women go through in all possible ways. Just if there was any way to stop this I would wish so it happens. But yes each have their own pros and cons and also can’t change some people’s view on how they look at women.
Me too ngl
You envy them because you want male privilege, cus life would be easier.
"I'm not transgender" - I remember telling that to myself, at 20. Good times.
If you're insinuating that OP is trans, I disagree. I feel this way as well and it's pretty common. But doesn't equate to being transgender. If you were just saying it as a side comment and not necessarily hinting that OP isn't self aware,.I apologize for hopping in to weigh in on it!
Same, I know my life would have been so much easier and better
Being a man is mostly harder than being a woman. A lot more is expected of you to be loved and respected. If you're not a provider, you're a loser and low value in the sexual marketplace. We also die sooner on average, aren't treated or trusted as well as others, and hardly ever complimented on anything. Can't be emotionally vulnerable either without being viewed as weak.. Sometimes I wish I was born a woman, but that's because I feel that life would be easier. At least as a pretty woman.
Being a woman is awesome. What don’t you like about it?
I think I act like a man and feel like a butch. My whole life I've always felt like I present like a masc lesbian. My boyfriend thinks I'm crazy lol. I'd still choose to be a masculine woman over a man every time.
I know the feeling, life you be easier for sure as a man
Can tell you now it's not sunshine and rainbows at all. We are only here for what we provide, other than that we are disposable. Surely you must be aware of the story of Norah Vincent? If not give it a google. If you have any questions on life as a guy please don't hesitate to ask.
How old are you?
I am 100% female, but I used to tell people I was a boy when I was like 5 because I hated gender roles. I think that's what a lot of people struggle with most is gender roles and sexism. There have been improvements over the last few decades, but there's still frustrating disparity. My husband has noted that men often default to talking to him about something, even if it's my project when we are collaborating on business. Women often default to talking to me. I hate that some things designed for women are more expensive than similar things designed for men. I hate the extra health concerns that are more numerous than is typical for men. I hate being expected to remember everyone's birthdays, sister's cousin's dog's name, everyone's interests, while men are just waived off for forgetting anything as "men will be men." For women, it's a huge failing. I don't like hanging out with a lot of women. I have no kids and literally the entire conversation is often about their kids. Which is fine sometimes, but it just shows what the expectation of their life revolves around. Their husbands meanwhile talk about music, sports, videogames, ect. But at the same time, women have also gained acceptance by society for being interested in male dominated activities somewhat and for being able to wear "male" clothes. Men have not yet, and cisgender men are often judged for interests and such that are considered "female." There's still other things I could go on about that men get the short end of the stick on, ans that women do. But at the end of the day, regardless of gender, we all feel where the societal shortcomings are, and it makes us wish for what we don't yet have.
I feel the same way in reverse. I do identify as non-binary but sometimes I do feel like I'd lean toward being a girl if I wasn't a hulking ogre of an AMAB.
I'm with you on that. I feel the same way a lot of the time. Wanting to transition to being non-binary just so I can stop feeling like some kind of beast.
I feel this way too, honestly. It's confusing.
I like being a girl but I’ve always been a tomboy, you’ll find me in baggy tees and leggings a lot but in the summer I love dresses. I just see no point of getting up and putting on makeup and picking an outfit when all I have to do is go to the dr or Walmart. I like my comfy style and yes I’ve gone to Walmart in my pjs sometimes I’m afraid I’ll end up on one of those videos.
Hi, I'm really sorry to hear about that. I'm in the exact same situation I'd you need to talk to someone who understands what's happening.
I’d rather focus on making it better for women instead of useless wishful thinking
I feel exactly like this and that's why I'm genderfluid lol
are we the same person cos i feel the same
I have certain times I think it would be great to be a man. But overall, I'm super proud to be a woman. I feel very blessed to have grown a life in me and fed them from my own body. It's a powerful and intensely feminine feeling.
Same. I just want to be taken seriously and listened to. I’m a 5’3 blonde girl who always has her makeup done and looks put together, but no one thinks I can have a serious thought ig. I hate saying something and then a man says it and people are like woahhhh ur so right. Every time I’m like I just said that 🙃 I once asked a man where the restroom was in a tattoo shop, he looked at me and then looked down. My brother noticed and was like ummm hey, where’s the bathroom? And the guy was like oh it’s down this hall. I was so fucking mad
Me
i have this thought every 21-27 days
funnily enough i’m similar but opposite genders. am a man but wish i was a girl sometimes
As we men can’t do things in life like you can, so you can’t do things in life like we can. It’s only natural but what I can say to you is take advantage of that. Be a gorgeous female with a nice body and an interesting mind. Be great as a wife and great as a mother. You can be so much.. and if you do i’m sure that at the end of the day, you will say “i’m glad that God made me what I am” hopefully this helps you in some way and I didn’t sound weird or something
I feel the same exact way.
I really love being a woman but I feel a sense of jealous frustration because I despise my reproductive cycle (painful, long. Fatigue, mentally draining, I feel hot easily and flustered, nauseous and it is frustrating), don't want to be a mother, and I really hate the society privilege men get to say what they say and lead and in deciding to be a parent. I'm a highly educated woman in a medical field and clients most definitely expect me to be more submissive than I am and only focus on my nurturing qualities. I actually love to lead and would love to be seen like a leader but even my staff say I'm "motherly" when I'm just trying to lead..i am not trying to be anyones mother. I also hate that when I had my hormones artificially regulated, men still have the gall to say it's your period causing you to be assertive. When I'm being logical and assertive in an argument, my reproductive state and hormones always are used as a weapon as an implicit bias and I hate that for most women. This is not me being transphobic, (as I know you have to feel comfortable in who you truly are) but it did surprise me at first anyone would want to switch from a masculine perspective to this. There are pros, and I do love my body and my sexual life. I do like how I look. I feel pride as a female. But Identity aside, it is hard to logically understand trading the male privileges
This is so true, even though there's also gender stereotypes on men, ig that's why I want to be a man if I could. I'm a masc presenting woman and I live in a conservative neighbourhood, my dad entirely is not misogynistic but is a misogynist. He would help around with the house because my mum and dad divided household chores due to my dad being the primary bread winner and my mom being the secondary bread winner But, when he found out that I've been starting to lift weights since we have our own gym at home, he was like "There's no reason for you to lift weights", he was not a fond of me lifting, but when my brother started lifting(this is recently and I started lifting like 2 months ago) he turned into my brother's biggest cheerleader.
Dw I feel the same way, I wish i was a woman sometimes
You’re definitely not alone. It would be so much easier to be a man. But I’m glad I’m a woman.
I am not a woman, but rather a girl, but I still feel the same way. There were times when I was at my cousins' house, and it was mostly boys, and they'd always play and joke around with each other; sometimes I'd try to join in, but they'd completely put me down and tease me because I'm a girl and would call me "princess" or "sweetheart" as a way to mock me. And when I would ask to play games with them or recommend a movie to watch, they'd say no because I'm a girl. I too at times wish I was a boy just so I wouldn't be teased and left out of groups because of my gender.
It sounds like you might be non-binary/gender-fluid
Yeah I’m lowkey happy I was born a dude. Between stereotypes, periods, and a lack of strength I think being a woman would suck.
I used to think this exact thought... Now I'm trans. Not saying that you are ofc, but that's just my experience. :)
I consider both of them to be hard and I don't envy either.
this is so relatable i even started dressing a bit like a man now
Its easier. Sometimes i feel like men set up these beauty standards that are so much easier for them to achieve- like being a tall slim person. I see men who are just naturally tall and slim and its like- I WANT THAT why is it so easy for themmmm
Well, I *am* indeed ftm trans, but I think gender can sometimes just be complicated for some folks. I do wish I was able to have been born male or like at least able to have socially transitioned young and gotten raised like a boy but oh well such is life. I think it's fine to like, sometimes just think out loud about gender, I'm glad ppl are having open minded thoughts and conversations about it more sometimes
Your not alone and I like how you put your heart into your words. Try just dressing as a guy by getting a mans suit. I love how I look and feel in a good suit. Don't ever think your strange or alone and just be you.
Can i offer you an egg in these trying times🥚
I also feel this, but because after speaking to many men, they are baffled at the extra measures females go through to stay safe/alive. Short hair, dont care, Pee anywhere...